...and the Yeti threw confetti
A story. By Phil.
This is Betty. She’s a Yeti. Some call her “Abominable”, a few call her “Sasquatch “. But those are her mean, nasty and smelly cousins. She’s Betty the Yeti.
Some say Yetis don’t exist. That they are myths. Betty has a friend, B. B. Beaver. He has a speech problem and stutters, and he says “th-th-they are s-s-saying ‘Miss’, c-c-cause they have a lisp.” Betty is helping B. B. Beaver with his stutter, but that’s another story. This is Megan. Megan believes in Betty, even though they have never met. Megan has even gone searching for Betty, but has never found her. But she believes in Yetis. Or is the plural of Yeti, just “Yeti”? I bet Betty knows.
This is Michael. He never really thought about Yetis or Yeti before. But he met Megan, they fell in love, so now Michael believes in Betty, even though they’ve never metty. Michael believed in Megan SO much he ran 100 miles in California looking for Betty. He found blisters on his feet, but no Yeti.
Michael and Megan even went to Peru to find Betty. But Betty, like all Yeti, is shy. They found Llamas, but no Yeti. Llama fur makes better blankets than Yeti fur, anyway.
Megan and Michael decided to get married. “Who should we invite?” Asked Michael. “Well, we have to invite family, we should invite friends, but let’s invite Betty! We can’t seem to find her, but maybe she will find us!” Megan needed to switch to decaf, she got much too excited thinking about this. An invitation was made and simply addressed to “Ms. Betty the Yeti”. The post office tried and tried to find her, but to no avail. Finally, the invitation was sent to the dead letter cave deep in the Himalayan mountains. Betty had always wondered why there was no Hermalayan mountains. It seemed unfair. But that, too, is another story about Betty. Betty lived not far from the dead letter cave where all the letters that can’t be delivered are sent. That is where Betty learned to read. From all the letters that couldn’t be delivered. It is also where all the socks that are lost in the dryer end up, but that is really another story. Let’s just say Betty never has cold feet! Imagine Betty’s surprise when she saw a letter addressed to her in the pile of mail! “I can’t believe I got a letter!” She squealed with delight and grabbed the letter off the pile. “Your presence is requested at the wedding of Michael and Megan. 2.10.18.” A wedding! Betty couldn’t believe it! And at the bottom was a note - “Plus one.” Now who could she take? She didn’t have to worry about what to wear, she had pearls. But who to take? “I know. I’ll take B.B.Beaver! My good friend.” Betty was excited! But then she remembered she was shy. Could she go? What if they made fun of her? Or worse? B.B. would know what to do. She’d ask him.
“W-W-well, of course I-I-I’ll go!” B.B.Beaver exclaimed when Betty asked him. “A-A-and don’t w-w-worry about the others. I-I-I can fix that.” “But how, how can I go?” Betty looked at the little beaver with sad Yeti eyes. “How? How will you fix things?” “Trust me.” Was all he said.
The day arrived and Betty and B.B. arrived at the wedding. It was in a big stone house. Betty was nervous but she trusted her friend. They walked in and what did they see? Hundreds of Yeti! All over the room. Or is it Yetis? Whatever, there were boy Yeti and girl Yeti. Yetis on the tables and Yeti in the napkins. And Betty felt right at home. “Oh, B.B., you did it! I knew you would, but how? “ Betty hadn’t really known, but she had hoped. Almost the same thing. B.B. smiled. “I talked to Megan’s mom. And we came up with a plan. She’d make all these Yetis. Or is it Yeti? No matter, she knit and knit and cut and glued and stitched and sewed until there were more of you than them.” “So sweet! But wait – you’re not stuttering! Why is that?” Betty hugged B.B. “When I called that Megan, she asked what “B.B.” stood for, what my full name was. No one had ever asked before.” He said. “What IS your name? I thought it was just B.B.” Betty felt bad she had never asked. Her cheeks turned pink as she blushed. “It’s Billy Bob. Billy Bob Beaver. Pleased to meet you.” The beaver extended a paw. Betty was still curious. “How did that stop you from stuttering?” “Well, I had thought every one and every thing had two letters in front of their name like I did. But when Megan asked my name, I saw they were initials!” Said Billy. “Ah, I see.” Said Betty. She didn’t completely understand, but Billy was happy, so if it worked for him, she was happy too. “Look - there’s Michael and Megan!” As the happy couple entered the room, everyone turned to look at them. No one even noticed a Yeti in the room with a talking beaver. And everyone smiled. Betty turned to Billy. “You made me feel so good, no one made fun of me, or was even scared. Thank you SO much, but why aren’t you even a little worried or scared?” Billy laughed. “I’m a beaver. I only worry about what I think. What others think? Well, we beavers just don’t give a dam.” Betty and Billy laughed and laughed. And then Betty said, “Oh look, there’s cake!”
Megan and Michael began a happily ever after life as they left the big stone house, the Yeti threw confetti! And Billy shouted “The best is Yeti to come!�