MIND Issue #15 (SIM PSYSOC Publications) by SIM Psychology Society

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Deciphering the Human Face Language and Emotion Emotionality in Music About Heartbreak Too Much Empathy?

A Day in Annâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Life - CSI Exhibition NTU-SIM Collaboration Talks SIM 50th Anniversary Learning Series Transformation

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Editors’ Notes Mark Twain famously wrote, “Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary,” reminding us never to fall prey to emotion’s façade of simplicity. Reflecting the pinnacle of our humanness, emotionality (be it happiness or sadness) embodies our deepest desires, echoes our greatest achievements and failures, and sometimes acts as the muse for our inspiration. In its complexity, emotionality often runs counter to our more ‘superior’ intellect and becomes victimized as humanity’s greatest weakness, an impractical by-product. It is in this light that we have chosen emotionality as the central theme for MIND #15. Embedded deep in our psyche, the revelation about the actual interplay between emotions and other human faculties remains elusive. Should we pragmatically isolate our emotions or embrace its passionate nuances? Are we even given the choice to go either way or is humanity destined to struggle with emotions without mastery? What seat does emotion take in our lives? For both writers and readers alike, emotions have definitely plagued us in our everyday lives.

University Of Wollongong Psychology (BSc)

Ultimately, the act of writing itself carries with it emotional undertones derived from the writer. During the conception of any piece of literature, we inevitably leave behind our signatures through bias, opinions and feelings, even as we try not to. Yet, such emotional expressions only emphasize our most human quality – sentimentality. It is my hope that these pieces may inspire your thoughts on the subject and bring you closer to your emotions. Have a good read!

Mok Kai Chuen Editor-in-Chief (Publications Director) University of Wollongong What is emotion, you might ask. Everyone perceives emotions differently. There are those who are inclined to think of more negative emotions, such as sadness, and those of us who think of more positive emotions, such as happiness. It might seem contrary, but the truth is without sadness, we cannot feel happiness and without happiness, there will not be sadness. In this issue of MIND #15, we bring to you the theme of emotionality. Some of the topics explored by our writers in this issue include emotions such as regret, graciousness, empathy, as well as the evolution of emotions. Others relate emotions to topics such as language, the workplace, music, emotions as a human trait, micro-expressions, abuse, and the heartbreak faced in relationships. Think more about the role of emotion, about the feelings that emotion brings you, about how you view emotions, and about why emotion is useful. I hope that you as readers will enjoy and question the articles our writers have written, and in so doing, understand more about the world and about yourselves.

University At Buffalo Psychology (BA)

Sheena Teo Editor-in-Chief (Publications Deputy Director) University at Buffalo

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Language & Emotion Work with your emotions Facing the music of emotionâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fallacy Graciousness Scream!

Emotions: WE donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know how to Afford them

Deciphering the human face

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10. Can I have a Time machine PLease? NTU-SIM Collaboration Talks Emotional Abuse Too Much Empathy? Heartbreak SIM 50th Anniversary Learning Series: Transformations CSI Exhibition

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4 The MIND Team

THE MIND TEAM. EZRA LIAW

JOSEPHINE TAN

“Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.” - C.S. Lewis

Feelings create our reality such that there is no objective reality, nor is there an objective way to test the reality of our feelings.

University at Buffalo

FIONA HSU

NICHOLAS YEO

“If they give you ruled paper, write the other way.” - Juan Ramón Jiménez

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” - Helen Keller

University of Wollongong

University at Buffalo

HARIHARAN NAIR

WIKI TAY WEI KEE

“The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of.” - Blaise Pascal

“If you truly pour your heart into what you believe in, even if it makes you vulnerable, amazing things can and will happen.” - Emma Watson

University at Buffalo

HARITH ZULKEFLI

YAP SHAO JIE

“It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.” - Muhammad Ali

“Sometimes when you’re lost, it’s best to let the wind catch your feet.”

University of Wollongong

University at Buffalo

WONG HERN YEE “No matter what I do, it will never amount to anything more than a single drop in a limitless ocean. Yet what is any ocean, but a multitude of drops?” -David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas.

University at Buffalo

Language and Emotion Harith Zulkefli

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Liberty, equality, fraternity.” Thus rang the clarion call of the French revolution. Three simple words to present the overture of change in a nation aggrieved by the failings of its monarchy; words henceforth immortalized as the national motto of France and synonymous with the virtues of democracy. Indeed, Man seems to have a natural proclivity for words tinged with emotions: from national mottos to speeches by presidential candidates (“Yes, we can!”), to even the ubiquitous quotes from the cadre of new-age philosophers on Facebook. Alas, why do words burrow at our hearts and leave especially emotive reactions? Research on eye fixations during reading found that emotionality affects lexical processing (Scott, O’Donnell, & Sereno, 2012). In other words, fixation times on emotion words which contain either positive (e.g. “lucky”) or negative tones (e.g. “angry”) were shorter than for neutral words (e.g. plain). The findings were attributed to readers’ immediacy for recognizing words with an emotive stimulus. This bit of research offers a concession to the claims that humans are more inclined to absorb emotionally-charged words and phrases than neutral ones. What then, allows us to separate facts from feelings? One study found that people are more likely to reject messages aimed at inducing counter-attitudes if such messages are incongruent to their beliefs (Burgoon & Miller, 1971). However, a more recent study found that older adults were more adept at following instructions which focused on their emotions (Mikels et al., 2010). This was attributed to the intact emotional processes in older adults despite deliberative cognitive processes Photo Credit: www.teapartytribune.com

declining with age. Crucially, this latest study lends gravitas as to how messages which appeal to one’s emotions can be considered over factual information, especially for older adults. Despite the idea of words affecting emotionality as put forth thus far, prevailing evidence also points to the bane of overusing words to raise an emotional effect. The phenomenon of semantic satiation postulates that prolonged exposure towards repeated words will eventually negate the semantic, but not lexical, value of those words. While the bugbear of having our emotions manipulated by mere words still stands, we are at least offered a reprieve – that tasks which require us to use semantic processing are prone to satiation effects.

“They gnaw on our psyche, affect our speech, and even provide the impetus for action.” On hindsight, emotional words have the imperceptible ability to affect our cognitive processing. They gnaw on our psyche, affect our speech, and even provide the impetus for action. What then is there to deny the craft of an eloquent wordsmith or an articulate orator to capture the hearts of the masses? We have heard and read the aphorisms of ascetics throughout the ages, but we have also learnt of charismatic madmen who have bent the will of entire nations with their speech (cue Adolf Hitler). While it may seem like we are all helpless to the magic of well-placed words, Bertrand Russell offers a consoling thought: “The degree of one’s emotions varies inversely with one’s knowledge of the facts.” Indeed, we are only as helpless as we let ourselves become.

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Work with Your Emotions

How can the modern man and woman successfully navigate the workplace? Fiona Hsu

hile most of us are familiar with the notion that women tend to be more emotional than men, studies have distinguished that this claim only holds true for emotional expressivity (Simon & Nath, 2004). Nevertheless, this prevailing belief continues to hinder many women in career opportunities, particularly where positions of power and leadership are concerned.

“The emotions expected of women... are usually dismissed as ‘soft skills’.” This can be explained by the gendering of emotion effect, whereby gender takes center stage in the social construction of emotions in relationships (Shields, 2005). Men are largely perceived to have proper control of their emotions, responding emotionally only to external situations (“he has emotions”), thereby being a source of influence and status. However, emotional responses are seen as part of a woman’s personality makeup (“she is emotional”), and these may evoke negative responses. The emotions expected of women emphasize compassion and nurturance in relationships, yet their inclinations toward these behaviors, e.g. relational intelligence, holistic perspective, empathy and intuition, are usually dismissed as “soft skills”. However, in today’s competitive workplace, employers are seeking more than just workers with the right hard skills and basic performance requirements – the employee must fit the organization’s culture as well (Schawbel, 2013). In a study conducted by American Express and Gen Y research-consulting firm Millennial Branding, over 60 percent of managers agreed that “soft skills” are of paramount importance when appraising employee performance – an individual’s ability to prioritize work, maintain a positive attitude

and possess teamwork skills are arguably their top three necessities. Exercising these skills will thus help in workplace relationships, consequently boosting chances of getting ahead. For men, there’s good news – society has since changed over the years with regard to expectations of manhood and emotionality (see Pollack & Levant, 1998). The increasing demand for social and emotional skills in male leaders, e.g. being good at listening and communicating, indicates that “feminine” traits in men are gaining wider tolerance and acceptance. People are also more open to both stereotypical and contrastereotypical beliefs about men, such that “sensitivity” is increasingly being regarded as an added advantage. This ultimately makes men more competent and indispensable (Timmers et al., 2003). Consequently, the answer for women could be to balance gender expectations and work them to their benefit. Developmental psychologist Birute Regine emphasizes women’s leading advantage at work today, claiming that organizations are plagued with issues that demand “soft skills”, skills which are typically more developed and readily used by women (Regine, 2011). Employing shadow negotiation skills – power moves, appreciative moves, and process moves – during any bargain could also help, especially when people involved hold unequal power (Kolb & Williams, 2000). This refers to the parallel negotiation that occurs alongside the overt negotiation, thereby determining the amount of give-and-take that occurs in the relationship and allowing women to navigate these drawbacks. All in all, men and women in today’s society are continuously subjected to higher expectations that exceed performance capabilities. Doing the job is only the beginning – perhaps it’s time to consider evaluating and honing those “soft skills” to get you ahead.

Facing the Music of Emotion’s Fallacy: Are We Singing the Same Tune? Mok Kai Chuen

he potential of a song to evoke a state of emotional catharsis strikes a familiar chord with many of us. A song’s melody oftentimes resonates with the basic feelings of joy or melancholy, its wistful lyrics a reminiscence of our fleeting ups and downs. In melodic harmony, we become cognizant of the song’s intentions and perhaps unintentionally subscribe to its lyrical and tonal expressions as though they mirror our own. From its effortful origin to its cathartic finale of purgation and self-restoration, a treasured music piece allows partial glimpses into the listener’s autobiography. Yet, most songs are expressed in negativity – of heartaches and painful lessons learnt. Even under the guise of positive and affirmative anthems, the vocal belting itself – of moving on and never looking back – gives away a subtle uncertainty and ambiguity. As such, why are we still so attuned to this seduction of music? Is it not paradoxical that we find catharsis from sorrow on repeat, a rewind of our bitter past?

Two psychological theories can account for the phenomenon of emotional responses from listening to music. Brain stem reflex accounts for a biological perspective where emotions are induced due to fundamental acoustical characteristics in music, e.g. loud and dissonant temporal patterns eliciting unpleasantness (Joseph, 2000). Also, the concept of evaluative conditioning provides a behaviourist’s answer to this music-emotion relationship. The repeated pairing of a musical stimulus with other environmental stimuli of specific emotional valance will eventually come to evoke similar emotions in the absence of the environmental stimuli (Gardenfors, 2003). Though both theories provide preliminary understanding of the relationship between music and emotions, the complexity behind the conscious choice to experience sadness

and attribute their abstract symbolism in songs remains elusive. Are we to conclude that our music choices are merely a sad reflection of our uninspired, hollow lives?

“For without sadness, what exactly is happiness?” Contrary to this fatalistic pessimism, the idea of emotional contagion resonates better with our sophisticated romanticism. Emotional contagion refers to a process where the listener perceives the emotional expression of the music, and then mimics the expression internally through direct activations of schemas and episodic memories (Juslin, 2000). This private affair of ascribing empathy becomes a powerful reminder of humanity’s sentimentality – perhaps our greatest strength. An emotional reminder from another person decentres us from egocentrism, prompting us to cherish the transient impermanence of happiness and take relish in our relentless perseverance during hardships. Thus, it becomes fitting to embrace sadness as the necessary evil twin of happiness in the pursuit of love and a fulfilled life. For without sadness, what exactly is happiness? Now this private affair of soul-searching quickly becomes public as music is shared across the world, songs sung in unison. The combined catharses of many individuals in the act of listening manifest themselves into an unlikely beacon of our humanity, a force so salient and unparalleled in many cultures throughout all ages. Music is the pinnacle of our sentimentality and becomes a living testimony to the totality of our emotions – that which we rebelliously suppress but that which define the core of us. Photo credit: www.eisley.com

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NEXT STOP:

Graciousness The Hows and the Whys of Empathy on Public Transport

Yap Shao Jie

onderful.

That is how Kris D’amuro describes our transport system. “I’ve not had a bad experience,” he adds, speaking of his bus commutes to SIM. “I often see people giving up their seats... and trying their best to move in.” If the experience you’ve had with our buses and trains are in any way a stark contrast from the descriptions of this American professor from the University at Buffalo, you are not alone. RMIT student, Roy Lee, likens our public transport system on peak periods to the cramped conditions of a chicken truck. He laments that commuters often cause an obstruction because they do not want to inconvenience themselves by moving in, especially when they are getting off soon. Public transport is evidently popular in populous Singapore. While every bus or train ride is inherently the same, the one factor that our ride experience hinges on is really the prosocial behavior of the people around us. Research by Krajbich, Adolphs, Tranel, Denburg, and Camerer (2009) suggests that such behavior is a result of the ability to observe guilt in oneself, and the subsequent effort to avoid it. How, then, does this explain the conundrum we are in? Are those who seemingly choose to ignore the plight of others devoid of all graciousness and morality?

“But perhaps deep down inside, we have simply shifted the blame to the people who are around us.”

The good news is that we have reason to believe otherwise. Although prosocial behavior is driven by guilt aversion, Singaporeans have found ways around that nagging feeling. In what Douglas (1995) calls scapegoating, one can reduce the negative effects of guilt by transposing it onto another person or group. And that is exactly what I have noticed. In general, people do do their best to move in when the buses or trains are crowded. However, most do not make the effort to ask others ahead of them to move in despite there being obviously more space out front. Sure, we might be the shy and conservative people we are. But perhaps deep down inside, we have simply shifted the blame to the people who are around us. We tell ourselves, “I’ve moved in as much as I can. The reason why ten people are going to be unable to board the bus is because this couple hogging the exit aren’t moving in.” Just like that, we’ve successfully displaced the guilt to a fellow commuter. That is not to say we are doomed to stay the world’s most unfeeling nation that we were just two years back (Clifton, 2012). New evidence appears to favor the vocal transmission of empathy on top of just tactile communication (Simon-Thomas, Keltner, Sauter, Sinicropi-Yao, & Abramson, 2009). That is, perhaps, what we lack. As a society, we have to learn to express ourselves, to communicate our needs and the needs of others. We do not seem to lack the fundamental value of empathy, though there is still some way to go before the articulation of said value becomes palpable. Perhaps only then will taking public transport be truly wonderful.

Photo Credit: charlottelemaire.tumblr.com/

SCREAM!!

Why it’s your evolutionary right to express yourself (with tact, of course).

Hariharan Nair

magine having an argument with your significant other. It gets intense; you get angry and snap, saying something hurtful you wish you could take back. “I didn’t mean it!” you cry after her, as she storms away in resentment. Are outbursts like these conditioned responses or intentional actions? Scenarios like these have led psychologists to ask more fundamental questions like “Why do we feel?” and “Where do our emotions come from?”

The origin of emotions can be traced back to the early man’s adaptation to his environment in order to survive both physically and socially (González, Barrull, Pons, & Marteles, 1998). The primeval man responded to alarming sounds and dangerous looking creatures with fear, avoiding them. He felt love and affection for women, encouraging pair bonding and the creation of a stable long-term family unit for the raising of offspring. The friendship, admiration, and envy he had for his fellow men eventually manifested themselves in cooperative and competitive behaviours, consequently leading to the establishing of a social hierarchy, and a system of governance. These archaic adaptations still exist in society today: a testament to their pervasiveness in human interactions and survival. Most scientists agree that emotions serve as a biological tool to bring about appropriate social responses to situations (Keltner & Gross, 1999). Emotions spur us to act, help us make quick heuristic decisions, and allow others to understand us. Take our earlier quarrel example: her anger provides the impetus for you to seek forgiveness to restore the functioning relationship you initially had. Even negative emotions like jealousy have the adaptive function of being protective over one’s mate, and studies have shown that romantic partners photo credit: www.itsallhere.in

who experience less jealousy are more prone to ending their relationship. Now of course, we are not advocating for covetousness, as our emotions are not always accurate. For example, when we are intoxicated, the emotions we experience are far more exaggerated than when in a state of normalcy. Emotions can be both positive (e.g. happiness) and negative (e.g. sadness). While experiencing the latter can be unpleasant, both are immensely useful. Research has discovered that a mildly sad mood increases our reasoning abilities, while Barbara Fredrickson’s Broaden and Build Hypothesis posits that a happy mood makes us more meticulous, creative and open. Medical research has indicated that positive emotions might have cardiovascular benefits: helping to protect against diseases such as high blood pressure and diabetes. In the same vein, sustained negative emotions might lead to increased health risks.

“Perhaps the evolution of our emotions have not kept pace with the highly dynamic environment we live in today?” In all, we know that our emotions arose in response to our survival needs. However, if emotions are truly indispensable, why do they feel like a double-edged sword at times (e.g. experience heartbreak and you feel pain)? Controlling such involuntary emotions is quite difficult too. Perhaps the evolution of our emotions have not kept pace with the highly dynamic environment we live in today (Haselton & Ketelaar, 2005)? Nonetheless, understanding and being aware of our emotions and of why we feel a certain way will undoubtedly better our quality of life.

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EMOTIONS:

We Don’t Know How to Afford Them Josephine Tan

ER’s storyline – The Oscars and Golden Globes 2014 Best Screenplay – about a person falling in love and starting a ‘relationship’ with an operating system seems farfetched if not pretentious. Alas, one comes to realize the film’s brilliance, perhaps because its premise is simple and real: How emotions have become too costly of a currency, too cumbersome in our efficiencydriven society, too weighty and soppy, as yet unpredictable and more irritatingly ungraspable even by the realms of current research. If an operating system can accurately satisfy our emotions exactly as we want it – self-pleasure without the expectations and imperfections – there is little care if the machine’s emotions are actually ‘real’, especially not when humans are so good at faking them anyway.

Even as we recognize the cost of emotions, we oppress ourselves (and others) in our expressions of emotions, or lack of. Service staff are commonly criticized for being mechanical, lacking genuineness in their interactions with customers. Perhaps an effect of emotion work done by the service staff, we wish

them to really care and we expect to perceive a real connection with them (Pugh, 2001) - even if we know the perception of warmth is independent of actual warmth – we expect others to deliver what we don’t wish ourselves to be forced to do. In addition, the low emotionality prized in certain occupations, e.g. doctors and surgeon are sometimes respected because they ensure focus in the task of saving our physical lives, yet they are increasingly criticized and questioned for their underwhelming bedside manner. Furthermore, in cases where the proclivity for emotions is absent, we quite welcome the fakeness. James Fallon, noted neuroscientist, emeritus professor of anatomy and neurobiology and professor of psychiatry and human behavior, after accidentally finding out through brain scans that he has the brain of a psychopath, attempted to fabricate emotions in a bid to ‘humanize’ himself to his loved ones. To his surprise, his spurious expressions were positively received by his family and friends. How mechanical we are when dealing with emotions and their expression - to be so particular about how

11 emotions should come across (and that it should be present even if it is not genuinely felt by the person expressing them). Perhaps feelings are valued for its hallmark of ‘human-ness’, yet we are granted to express emotions within a certain limit and at a favored skewness. The socially acceptable range for emotions (both positive and negative) is restrictive, lest we be medicalized to tone down the ‘depression’ and ‘mania’. But if we really need to be free to feel, then in our tightly-scripted super positive society, happiness is preferred *ignores Facebook posts on loss and skip to the party pictures already*. What is it that we actually want out of emotions?

“That emotional truth that we seem to be so thirsty for feels increasingly fatuous.”

emotions as weakness, our loss when it comes to articulating and actually knowing how we feel. We use words to communicate how we feel, even if words fail (we derive different meanings) and even if we tend to rationalize, especially when we sometimes don’t know how to feel, how we really feel, or how we are supposed to feel – we are merely finding a label. What then is the value of emotions? To distinguish us from machines (and some think, animals)? To ascertain that we are not just drones inside (even if we already are)? We may have intellectualized emotions and distanced ourselves from the ownership of our most ‘human’ quality, searching for its practicality, yet not understanding nor appreciating our qualia – our unique, private experience of our feelings - either. That emotional truth that we seem to be so thirsty for feels increasingly fatuous.

Since we are already socialized to act, behave, and express ourselves in ways properly tailored to situations, should emotions still be important? If we were to extend beyond Foucault’s noted observation that none of us can escape being shaped by the norms of society, this policing and keeping of our emotions in check may possibly not just be an effect of us being under a Panopticon; we are certain of our human error, our photo credit: www.theconnectivist.com

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DECIPHERING THE HUMAN FACE NICHOLAS YEO

ince time immemorial, animals and humans alike have used emotions as a communication tool. A dog wags its tail silly to express joy, while a cobra spreads its hood when it feels threatened. For humans, the most immediate gauge of our emotional states is through our facial expressions. But understanding the human face is never a walk in the park. With a total of 23 different muscle groups creating a myriad of expressions, it takes a keen eye to fully decipher the human facial musculature and discern the true emotional state of a person.

Emotional expression through facial cues has been rooted in Darwin’s (1872) evolutionary theories since the 19th century. These ideas later formed the basis of Paul Ekman’s (2003) inhibition hypothesis, which states that any facial muscle that cannot be activated at will cannot be voluntarily inhibited as well. Humans’ incapability in fully controlling these muscles when they are involuntarily activated by spontaneous emotions suggests that the human face can be used to accurately gauge one’s emotional state.

“A simple smile may hang from the face, but it is a concoction of different emotions that brews underneath.”

This then begs the question: Is deciphering the different facial expressions even necessary? After all, it does seem pretty straightforward: a smile indicates joy, while a frown denotes sadness. But just as there are different kinds of joy, there are different kinds of smiles as well. A shallow but socially acceptable Pan-Am smile – named after the flight attendants of the Pan American World Airways – involves contracting the zygomaticus major muscle, where the corners of the mouth are lifted upwards. But a genuine Duchenne smile – named after the French physician who discovered it – would involve the contractions of both the zygomaticus major and orbicularis oculi muscles; the latter muscle group produces the typical crow’s feet seen during a wide smile (Evans, 2010). If you swap those with the contractions of dominant muscles in the forehead and the nose, you get a lustful grin instead. A simple smile may hang from the face, but it is a concoction of different emotions that brews underneath. Mankind has always believed that they alone are responsible for creating their emotions. That emotions are so innate and primitive, they are impervious to

manipulation. This could not be further from the truth. Levenson, Ekman and Friesen (1990) discovered that autonomic nervous system activity could be stimulated by making voluntary facial expressions. For instance, participants who expressed anger felt an increase in heart rate and skin temperature. Similarly, research has also shown that patients who received a Botox jab to their corrugator muscles - also known as “frowning muscles”were a quarter of a second slower in reacting to anger and sadness-inducing stimuli (Davidson & Begley, 2012). Contrary to our beliefs, emotions can be manipulated through facial muscle feedback. With medical science set to push such boundaries even further, can we then still trust the human face? Deciphering it is now harder – but not impossible. If we look deep enough, even the most fleeting of expressions can still be spotted. After all, the human emotion can never escape its own spontaneity.

Photo credit: www.surgerytoday.com

Wiki TAY Wei Kee

ounds of any kind are stingingly painful, and so are the mistakes that we make in life. The majority of them would go on to heal perfectly; any traces of them would eventually be forgotten. Yet, there are those mistakes that run deep within, with scars that last a lifetime. Regret is an emotion of devastating resentment that constantly haunts the victim with “what might have been”. It grips the person with a fear of making mistakes, creating an obsession with the idea of turning back time. But what exactly is the cause of this deleterious emotion?

Feelings of regret are closely tied to counterfactual thinking, a human tendency to create thoughts of possible alternatives to life events that have already occurred (Roese, 1997). However, regret will only emerge when downward counterfactuals are carried out, evaluating a worse-off scenario than an actuality. One example is my perception of my academic journey, where instead of being thankful of having the chance to study, I kept thinking about what would happen if I had studied more and managed to enroll in my dream university. This only leads me to seeing myself as a mediocre student, wrapped in defeated feelings of resentment.

Surprisingly, I am not the only one who feels this way. A study done across the United States revealed that education is the number one form of regret among students (Roese & Summerville, 2005). The reason is simple — working harder in exam preparations is within our very control. When the better alternate event has high mutability, it makes downward counterfactual thinking irrepressible (Kahneman & Miller, 1986). This makes the thought of “what might have been” become even more appealing, such that even a little nudge on the past would make the present so much better. If only there was a time machine that could bring us back to right our wrongs, then the dreadful feelings of regret would forever be annihilated. Or would it?

“We are wired to regret and in fact, it is an imperative learning mechanism for us to strive better.” Philosopher Kierkegaard once said, “do it or do not do it — you will regret both.” We are wired to regret and in fact, it is an imperative learning mechanism for us to strive better (Walker & Smith, 2002). The constant and inexplicable experiences of conjured alternatives are inescapable. No matter the possibility of

rewriting history, we would still experience regret in the rectification of our wrongs. We would still be trapping ourselves in the endless cycle of creating the non-existential “perfect” life story. Hence, instead of allowing the domination of regret and constant re-visits into the past, why not accept the sadder reality and move on? I accede to my past’s indolence, yet I choose to focus on my present instead. Regret is an emotion that could wallow one into devastation, but it could also be used as the greatest steppingstone. As I choose to put aside the delusion of alternate possibilities, I am more focused in making my future reflective of my assiduous present. Facing the possibility of a better past or a better future, which would you choose?

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NTU-SIM Collaboration Talks What is it like working as a psychologist? Career Talk By The Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF) Written bt Wiki Tay Wei Kee

s the room packed itself full with curious undergraduates, Dr. Joy Low, a clinical psychologist, and Mr. Steven Tan, a forensicspecialized psychologist, brought the students on an insightful journey of working in the Rehabilitation and Protection Group (RPG) within MSF. The RPG works closely with abused victims and offenders in bringing optimal trauma recovery and forensic mental health to the families and community. “We handle the more jialat [difficult] cases”, Mr. Tan humorously joked, as he reasoned why RPG only recruits psychologists who have at least a Masters degree in appropriate fields. Dr. Low also prudently stressed on the importance of continual research and literature reading, which are necessary for

ensuring constant improvement in the services they provide. A typical workday for the clinical psychologist would involve administrative work, visitations to juvenile’s home, meetings, report writing, and more. Undoubtedly, it is a highly stressful job and may not be everybody’s cup of tea. Yet, I could not help but notice the lighthearted spirit and lively attitude both speakers exude, even though it was way past 7PM. As Mr. Tan said, “Not everyone gets to help those who are forgotten, and that is what I really like about my job”, elucidating passion for his work. Indeed, an engaging work that pays reasonably well is often the dream career for many. A wise advice from Dr. Low to the graduating students is to keep an open mind and not to settle, until they can see themselves fit into the job perfectly.

Mastering Emotional Intelligence for Better Performance Talk By Jeffery Williams | Written by Ezra Liaw

ntering the class, we were greeted warmly with the smiling eyes and cheerful grin of our speaker that day, Jeffery Williams. Off the bat he introduced the topic of the day, “How are you going to manage your emotions?”

The importance and mastery of EQ is critical in our lives, especially when it comes to handling and working with people. The emphasis placed on this talk was EQ in the workplace. The broad areas he covered were how to manage ourselves, others, and how to adapt to different situations. He introduced the topics of selfawareness, building rapport, defining EQ and patterns of behavior. The mastery of emotions comes with self-awareness and the ability to empathize with a person. The main idea behind the talk is awareness. This comes in many forms such as awareness of the situation and environment, the emotions you are experiencing, and the emotions of the party or parties involved. There is also the involvement of physical awareness and body language, where

you size a person up to gauge what kind of person they are. Mr. Williams suggests that with the mastery of these tools, we would have better performance in our lives, especially in the work place. To emphasize on this, he put us through a few exercises to experience the effects of poor EQ, to observe how crisis management is done, and to understand how the subtleties of body language can improve or worsen a situation. Overall, the talked proved to be an enriching experience with sufficient equipping measures and practical uses.

Emotional Abuse:

The Commonly Unknown Enemy Ezra LiAw

rowing up, Jamie never knew a kind word; attention and care was all but given. Any visage of respect or love was naught but a ghost. Jamie had aspirations, but her parents never thought much of it. Jamie made mistakes; her parents never let it go. In front of other people, all she knew was humiliation and degradation. “I wish I never had you.” Some may find this all too familiar, some may know of others who go through this. Emotional abuse, it happens but is rarely noted. What is emotional abuse? Cawson et al. (2000) sums it as repeated pattern of behavior that conveys to children that they are worthless, flawed, unloved, unwanted, only of value in meeting another’s needs, or endangered. Research in this area is relatively new and there are as many definitions as there are studies, so they summarized it into emotional neglect, degradation, humiliation, terrorizing, negating and criticizing.

to the toxicity of it, they suffer cognitive deficits, become socially withdrawn and often internalize their problems. Studies (Hildyard & Wolfe, 2002; Gavin, 2011; Riggs et al., 2011) show that these effects lead to increased risk in exhibiting violent criminal behavior, personality disorders, and substances abuse. They suffer academically, and become unable to develop healthy relational attachments. With low self-esteem, they constantly put themselves down. Anxious and depressed, they inflict harm upon themselves and become isolated from people. These resultant behaviors are often never lost and becomes baggage brought into their adult life. As William Bowen once said, “Hurt people hurt people”. That statement could not be more true, for the effects are a vicious cycle that permeates through the generations.

Plant a seed on fertile soil; it will flourish. Plant a seed on thorny ground and it gets stifled, unable to grow Yet, all is not lost for the likes of Jamie. When clarity is and succumbs to the harsh environment. Likewise, the given, like a lighthouse guiding the way amidst a storm, environment plays a huge part in moulding us into who Jamie can navigate the choppy waters and jagged rocks we are. to escape the circumstance. You cannot choose the circumstances, but you can choose how to react to it. Jamie’s parents, the same people one would most “In the fell clutch of circumstance expect a nourishing environment from, gave quite the I have not winced nor cried aloud. opposite. Studies (Hildyard & Wolfe, 2002; De Britto Under the bludgeonings of chance et al., 2013) show that when caregivers do not provide My head is bloody, but unbowed. that environment, damage is done to the psyche and the brain, which ultimately impairs the cognitive and socioIt matters not how strait the gate, emotional development. How charged with punishments the scroll, Pervasive, invasive and persuasive, emotional abuse intrudes into a child’s psyche, takes control and spreads across many areas of their lives. With constant exposure Photo Credit: www.bhmpics.com

I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.”

- 2nd and 4th stanzas from Invictus, William Ernest Henley

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Too Much Empathy? Wong Hern Yee

ain empathy is felt when a person witnesses another experiencing physical pain, and this can apply to emotional pain as well, should one observe another hurting emotionally. After all, it is found that empathy for emotional pain activates brain areas that overlap with the direct experience of physical pain and social rejection (Beeney et al., 2011). Indeed, our appraisal of other people’s emotionally painful experiences is instinctively empathetic, which serves to better mankind as a breed that understands the value of being humane. However, have we taken the natural tendency to feel this way too far? Take for instance, the case of bullying.

Bullying has become a major cause for concern in contemporary society, as more and more cases of suicide amongst adolescents are cited to stem from bullying as the root of the problem. Thus, research on bullying all over the world has increased drastically (Berger, 2006). After all, it is crucial for children today to learn how to independently handle any adversities, like bullying; by missing out on experiences of failure to fit into certain cliques or social crowds, many of these children will not be able to cope with and figure out the reality of how people socialize, when they move on to adulthood (Simplicio, 2013). While the rise in antibully movement are motivated by our tendency to empathize with those hurting emotionally and stems from good intentions, preventing children from taking any adversity head on by themselves - such as bullying - would not enable them to develop the resilience and self-confidence necessary to effectively deal with people who try to take advantage of them in the working world. But what about people who cannot seem to integrate the pain into a beneficial lesson, i.e. the clinically

Photo Credit: www.learningexpress.com

depressed and the traumatized?

“Taking empathy too far can even be fatal.” Indeed, numerous research has successfully proven that bullying can be harmful to an adolescent’s physical, economical and psychological wellbeing in the short run, as well as in the long run (Chambless, 2010; Wolke, 2013; Juvonen, 2003). The motif of these researches tends to stem from empathy as well. With the government paying their wages, the social scientists become subservient to the government’s goal to create safety rather than promote an objective, scientific approach towards child development, which requires kids to experience danger and hardship. Meanwhile, parents are happy to see responsibility for their children’s safety conveniently shifted to the government, and politicians dare not smash these parents’ fantasy that the government is capable of providing their children with complete safety. Also, taking empathy too far can even be fatal. The numerous ‘bullycide’ newspaper reports being made far too often adopt a tone that expresses empathy for the bullied. While these reports may assert and even have the good intention of raising awareness of young people’s suffering in hopes that the world will work on alleviating it, their overall effect only causes adolescents undergoing bullying to see themselves as a lone figure of hopelessness; hence, they may see suicide as a glamorous ending, whereby they become a recipient of the staggering amount of attention, sympathy and national concern. What with the rise in bullying prevention campaigns weakening later generations’ resolve to live life purposefully, there is an urgent need for us to question whether we have taken empathy too far.

Heartbreak Why do we go in search of it? Sheena Teo

‘

Someday, my prince will come. Someday, I’ll find my love.’ So sang Barbra Streisand, mirroring the thoughts of people who believe wholeheartedly that their happily ever after will come someday. And on the other side, there are those who are clearly cynical – labeling ‘The One’ as a naive and optimistic brand of thought. Yet, it remains a deeply rooted theme in all that we see; from movies to dramas to even some plays. Just like how good always triumphs over evil, a happily ever after remains one of the standards in life as we know it. Is this social norm one of the reasons why we continue getting into new relationships every time our previous one fails? Indeed, why do we choose to go down this road? In a way, it may be due to familial expectations as well as the peer pressure that we face from our friends whenever we go to a gathering. Over casual conversations, we are faced with a barrage of questions: “When are you going to find a partner? Do you want me to introduce one to you? I have a friend that I think you may like...” On one hand, we may become defiant, trying to convince ourselves that there is no important need for a partner, really. Why would we want to go through all that heartbreak when the relationship ends? On the other hand, once we are done getting over the embarrassment of that, is it any wonder that we ourselves would still want a partner? Furthermore, it could be that there is a need for belonging amongst all of us, as Maslow hypothesized. In a secure relationship, we often experience acceptance and support from our partners (Simpson, Collins, Tran, & Haydon, 2007), and this is what we strive for even after that relationship has ended.

Following the lines of that, Erikson’s Psychosocial theory (1963) states that going through the stage of intimacy versus isolation helps in the development and formation of our identities (as cited in Kendra, 2014). Even when we break up with our partners, the process of heartbreak serves an important role in our development. It teaches us what we have done wrong and, provided we learn from our mistakes, ensures that we do not repeat the same thing again when we get into a new relationship.

“Are we are all just masochists who willingly seek out heartbreak?” Yet, when faced with this emotional pain, why do we still constantly search for a new relationship? Could it be that the relationship’s benefits outweigh the costs, such that we feel positive about trying out a new relationship again? Still, this seems irrelevant to those who have incurred a higher cost. Indeed, are we are all just masochists who willingly seek out heartbreak? Whatever the answer may be, I for one will continue to move in search of that elusive person, regardless of the pain a relationship might bring. Call me a masochist, but when faced with the expectations from our society and the competitiveness of the working world, it seems better to have someone you can trust to always be on your side, despite the chances of being heartbroken.

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“Doing it Differently” Helps Your Career SIM 50th Anniversary Learning Series: Transformations

fiona hsu

here is something immensely captivating about the way young and ambitious leaders address business transformation that keeps you hanging on their every word. Mr Azran Osman-Rani, CEO of AirAsia X, shared trade secrets on the success behind the world’s first low-cost long-haul airline during the first of three SIM Transformations Learning Series. Having navigated the challenges of starting a new company, Azran illustrated his first takeaway by emphasizing on the importance of asking questions – especially when one is in an unfamiliar industry. This denotes an almost unapologetic frequency of questioning any (and every) worker so as to gain a holistic knowledge on existing operations, business culture and “rules” – and questioning those, too.

His next takeaway entails forging an organizational culture that is bold enough to challenge conventional wisdom. Ideas were feverishly encouraged, with the driving emphasis to be different, instead of better. It should be no surprise, then, that Azran’s dedicated team works and bonds with a shared sense of purpose, vision and resilience towards making mistakes. This practice has since effectively distinguished them and became a major selling point in their business. He also stressed the importance of being observant, as capitalizing on existing and emerging trends presents a formidable advantage in a market where customer sales and loyalty are unpredictable and increasingly competitive.

Photo Credit: walluck.com

Designer’S Note

background.

I personally believe that creativity is deeply connected with one’s emotions. Rather than venting frustrations through verbal communication, art is often sought as an emotional outlet for many profound artists, who in turn create works that greatly reflect their feelings. Positive emotions like happiness and excitement also bring motivation (a necessity!) to artists of various fields. Similarly, I’m exhilarated and thankful to be a part of the much esteemed MIND magazine team as a designer, and I look forward to reading more articles by our talented writers. As a complete amateur to graphic design, however, I’m still clumsily making my way through the creative processes. But I guarantee to stay true to my unyielding passion for design, and to do my best to represent the writers’ work in the most favourable visual form. While maintaining the standards of MIND set by my predecessors, I will continue to explore and experiment with new, inventive ideas for future issues.

Isabel Han Graphic Designer University at Buffalo

For citations, please refer to the appendix of our online magazine at issuu.com/publication.psysociety For queries or feedback on MIND, please email the editor at publications.psysociety@gmail.com Subscribe to our Facebook and Twitter pages at facebook.com/SIMPsySociety and twitter.com/SIM_PSYSOC for more information about SIM Psychology Society. Be a part of us!

University at Buffalo Psychology (BA)

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A Day in Ann’s Life CSI Exhibition | Yap Shao Jie

roken glass bottles, shards, beset in Bchalk blotches of coagulated crimson. Two outlines, a kitchen knife, bracelets

and necklaces of a glorious golden hue. And to the other end, a morose young lady, a shadow of her athletic past. Such, was the spectacle that greeted visitors to the CSI exhibition, PSYSOC’s first event of the year.

Stepping beyond the black and yellow tape, participants were tasked with investigating the crime scene as they took a literal walk through a day in Ann’s life, the principal witness to her parents’ murder. Armed each with an investigation checklist, amateur detectives, one after another, waded through the sea of evidence. Some worked alone; others worked in groups.

From the number of visible finger prints While many were not able to answer to the various possible murder weapons all the questions correctly and solve left behind haphazardly, every piece of the mystery behind the murder, most evidence laid open to scrutiny. And every participants surveyed said they had an once in a while, a gentle supposition by engaging experience. The survey results one detective would ignite an animated also suggest that just one murder case debate. After having closed the case, was, perhaps, not enough to satiate participants had the opportunity to have their inquisitive minds. In light of popular detective shows such as CSI and their mug shots taken at a photo booth. Sherlock, it is not farfetched to think a more elaborate crime scene would be coming our way.

Appendix Language & Emotion: Harith Zulkefli Burgoon, M., & Miller, G. R. (1971). Prior attitude and language intensity as predictors of message style and attitude change following counterattitudinal advocacy. Journal Of Personality And Social Psychology, 20(2), 246-253. doi:10.1037/h0031678 Mikels, J. A., Löckenhoff, C. E., Maglio, S. J., Carstensen, L. L., Goldstein, M. K., & Garber, A. (2010). Following your heart or your head: Focusing on emotions versus information differentially influences the decisions of younger and older adults. Journal Of Experimental Psychology: Applied, 16(1), 87-95. doi:10.1037/ a0018500 Scott, G. G., O’Donnell, P. J., & Sereno, S. C. (2012). Emotion words affect eye fixations during reading. Journal Of Experimental Psychology: Learning, Memory, And Cognition, 38(3), 783-792. doi: 10.1037/a0027209 Smith, L., & Klein, R. (1990). Evidence for semantic satiation: Repeating a category slows subsequent semantic processing. Journal Of Experimental Psychology: Learning, Memory, And Cognition, 16(5), 852-861. doi:10.1037/02787393.16.5.852 Work with your Emotions: Fiona Hsu Kolb, D. & Williams, J. (2000). The shadow negotiation: How women can master the hidden agendas that determine bargaining success. New York: Simon & Schuster. Pollack, W.S., & Levant, R.F. (Eds.) (1998). New psychotherapy for men. New York: Wiley. Regine, B. (2011, March 30). Soft is the new hard (as in skills), and women lead the way. Retrieved from http://www.forbes.com/ sites/85broads/2011/03/30/soft-is-the-new-hardas-in-skills-and-women-lead-the-way/ Schawbel, D. (2013, September 4). The soft skills managers want. Retrieved from http://www. businessweek.com/articles/2013-09-04/the-softskills-managers-want Shields, S.A. (2005) The politics of emotion in everyday life: “Appropriate” emotion and claims on identity. Review of General Psychology, 9, pp. 3–15, doi: 10.1037/1089-2680.9.1.3 Simon, R.W. & Nath, L.E. (2004) Gender and emotion in the United States: Do men and women differ in self-reports of feelings and expressive behavior? American Journal of Sociology, 109, 5, 1137–76, doi: 10.1086/382111‎

Timmers, M., Fischer, A., & Manstead, A. (2003). Ability versus vulnerability: Beliefs about men’s and women’s emotional behaviour, Cognition & Emotion, 17:1, 41-63, doi: 10.1080/02699930302277 Facing the Music of Emotion’s Fallacy: Mok Kai Chuen Joseph, R. (2000). Neuropsychiatry, neuropsychology, clinical neuroscience, 2nd edition. Academic Press. Gardenfors, P. (2003). How Homo became sapiens: On the evolution of thinking. Oxford University Press. Juslin, P. N. (2000). Cue utilization in communication of emotion in music performance: Relating performance to perception. Journal of Experimental Psychology: Human Perception and Performance, 26, 797–813. Graciousness: Yap Shao Jie Clifton, J. (2012). Singapore ranks as least emotional country in the world. Retrieved from http:// www.gallup.com/poll/158882/singapore-ranksleast-emotional-country-world.aspx Douglas, T. (1995). Scapegoats: Transferring blame. NY: Routledge. Krajbich, I., Adolphs, R., Tranel, D., Denburg, N. L., & Camerer, C. F. ( 2009). Economic games quantify diminished sense of guilt in patients with damage to the prefrontal cortex. The Journal of Neuroscience, 29, 2188– 2192. Simon-Thomas, E. R., Keltner, D. J., Sauter, D., Sinicropi-Yao, L., & Abramson, A. (2009). The voice conveys specific emotions: Evidence from vocal burst displays. Emotion, 9(6), 838-846. doi: 10.1037/a0017810 Scream: Hariharan Nair González, M. P., Barrull, E., Pons, C., & Marteles, P. (1998). What is emotion? Retrieved from What is Emotion? website: http://www.biopsychology. org/biopsychology/papers/what_is_emotion. htm Keltner, D., & Gross, J. J. (1999). Functional accounts of emotions. Cognition & Emotion, 13(5), 467480. Haselton, M. G., & Ketelaar, T. (2005). Irrational Emotions or Emotional Wisdom? The Evolutionary Psychology of Emotions and Behavior. In J. Forgas (Ed.), Hearts and minds:

Affective influences on social cognition and behavior. New York: Psychology Press. Retrieved from http://www.sscnet.ucla.edu/comm/haselton/ papers/downloads/HaseltonKetelaar.pdf Emotions: We Don’t Know How to Afford Them: Josephine Tan Pugh, S. D. (2001). Service with a Smile: Emotional Contagion in the Service Encounter. Academy of Management, 44(5), 1018-1027. Deciphering the Human Face: Nicholas Yeo Darwin, C. (1872). The expression of the emotions in man and animals. Chicago: University of Chicago Press. Davidson, R. J., & Begley, S. (2012). The emotional life of your brain : How its unique patterns affect the way you think, feel, and live-- and how you can change them. New York, NY: Hudson Street Press. Ekman, P. (2003). Darwin, deception, and facial expression. Annals New York Academy Of Sciences, 205-221. Evans, A. M. (2010). Is smile recognition affected by one’s happiness? UIW McNair Scholars Research Journal, XI, 78-86. Levenson, R. W., Ekman, P., & Friesen, W. V. (1990). Voluntary facial action generates emotionspecific autonomic nervous system activity. Psychophysiology, 27(4), 363-384. Can I have a Time Machine Please?: Wiki Tay Wei Kee Kahneman, D.; Miller, D. (1986). “Norm theory: Comparing reality to its alternatives”. Psychological Review, 93(2): 136–153. doi:10.1037/0033295X.93.2.136 Roese, N. J. (1997). Counterfactual thinking. Psychological bulletin, 121(1), 133. doi: 10.1016/j.jesp.2009.03.002 Roese, N. J., & Summerville, A. (2005). What we regret most… and why. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 31(9), 1273-1285. doi: 10.1177/0146167205274693 Walker, I., & Smith, H. J. (2002). Fifty years of relative deprivation research. Relative deprivation: Specification, development, and integration, 1-9. United Kingdom, Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. Emotional Abuse: Ezra Liaw Cawson, P., Wattam, C., Brooker, S., Kelly, G. (2000). Child Maltreatment In The United Kingdom: A Study Of The Prevalence Of Abuse And Neglect. NSPCC Research Findings. Retrieved from http://www.nspcc. org.uk/Inform/publications/downloads/ childmaltreatmentintheukexecsummary_ wdf48006.pdf

Gavin, H. (2011). Sticks And Stones May Break My Bones: The Effects Of Emotional Abuse. Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma, 20, 503–529. Hildyard, K. L. & Wolfe, D. A. (2002). Child Neglect: Developmental Issues and Outcomes. Child Abuse And Neglect, 26, 679–695. Riggs, S. A., Cuimano, A. M. & Benson, K. M. (2011). Childhood Emotional Abuse and Attachment Processes in the Dyadic Adjustment of Dating Couples. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 58 (1), 126–138. Too much Empathy?: Wong Hern Yee Beenley J. E., Franklin J, R. G., Levy K. N., Adams J, R. G. (2011). I feel your pain: Emotional closeness modulates neural responses to empathically experienced rejection. Social Neuroscience, 6 (4). PA, USA. Berger K. S. (2006). Update on bullying at school: Science forgotten? Developmental Review , 27 (1), 90 - 126. Chambless C. B. (2010). Long-term effects of bullying: Exploring the relationships among recalled experiences with bullying, current coping resources, and reported symptoms of distress. ProQuest Dissertations and Theses. Atlanta, Georgia, USA: Counseling and Psychological Services Dissertations. Juvonen J., Graham S., Schuster M. A. (2003). Bullying Among Young Adolescents: The Strong, the Weak and the Troubled. (Vol. 117). Illinois, USA: PEDIATRICS. Simplicio, J. (2013). Suck It Up, Walk It Off, Be A Man: A Controversial Look at Bullying in Today’s Schools (Vol. 133). Alabama, USA: Education. Wolke D., Copeland W. E., Angold A., & Costello E. J. (2013). Impact of Bullying in Childhood on Adult Health, Wealth, Crime, and Social Outcomes. Warwickshire, UK. Heartbreak: Sheena Teo Cherry, K. (2014). Intimacy Versus Isolation. Retrieved from http://psychology.about.com/od/ psychosocialtheories/a/psychosocial_3.htm Simpson, J., Collins, A. W., Tran, S., & Haydon, K. C. (2007). Attachment and the Experience and Expression of Emotions in Romantic Relationships: A Developmental Perspective. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 92 (2), 355-367. doi: 10.1037/0022-3514.92.2.355