Published Zine ~ The Teenage Girl by Published zine

PU BL I SHzEi nDe

here lie the raw, unpolished, & mostly disjointed pieces of my soul. - Amanda Lovelace, The princess saves herself in this one

The Teenage Girl

03 .................................................................................................... Contents 04 ............................................. Editorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s letter by Isabella Wharton 06 .................................................................... Artwork by Abby Haith 07 ................................................ The teenage girl by Caley Collins 08 ................. Should we all be feminists? by Chloe Holbrook 11 ............................................................ Photos by Chloe Holbrook 12 ........ Growing up between two cultures by Iqan Hussain 14 ...................................................................... Artwork by Katie Kirby 15 ................................................................................... Me and My Body 16 ......................................................... Artwork by Joanna Arlington 19 ....................................................... Grief Goggles by Maya Gallen 20 ................ The Rise of the LGBT Teen by Ash Drummond 22 .............................................................. Eighteen by Beabadoobee 23 .................................................................... Artwork by Abby Haith 24 .................................... A Story About Hair by Hailee Dokolo 26 ................................................................. Photos by Molly Fenwick 28 .......................................Your Voice Matters! by Molly Fenwick 30 ................................................................ Photos by Emma Higgins 37 ..................................................................... Beauty by Amelia Foale 38 .......................................................................... Photo by Abby Haith 39 ................ Living with your period makes you a warrior by Maddie Wharton 40 .......Female leaders in Astrophysics research by Caroline Swenson 42 ............................................................................ It Feels Like a Movie 44 .......................................................... Artwork by Chloe Sheppard 46 ............................................... 18 Before 18 by Isabella Wharton 48 ................................................................ Playlist for the teenage girl

Dear Reader, Welcome to Published Zine. This issue is entitled ‘The Teenage Girl’, and I think it is safe to say that as a teenager myself, I am fit to write the opening to this issue. Writing, compiling and editing this issue may be one of the most challenging but rewarding experiences I’ve ever faced. I have had a fairly taxing time putting this together, namely when I lost this whole project due to technical issues, which resulted in a major crying session! But, as one of my friends wisely said; sometimes a cry is needed for you to succeed. Problems you face in life are simply steppingstones to your success; once I had overcome the initial fear of having to re-write the whole zine, I worked even harder so that you are able to read this issue right now at its very best. Life as a teenager has always been challenging but can seem even more so in the 21st century. We live in turbulent times and growing up can seem hard. There is a constant desire for the social construct of “perfection”, which we are force fed through the tubes of social media, friends and society. Women have been conditioned to fit into boxes, usually tiny, pretty boxes. The idea of womanhood should be someone who sheds the perfect box idea and owns their diversity. Perfection doesn’t exist; we’re constantly striving for the unattainable which makes it even harder to reach. Whatever you look like, society seems to have something to say about it. I constantly assess my body in comparison to my friends or to girls online, because in my mind - I’m not enough. This is where the problem lies, all of us have an element of negative self-worth that leads us to keep comparing ourselves to each other. Published zine explores themes of body image and self-worth and sheds a light on the beliefs of my fellow teens, hopefully inspiring you to work on your self-worth. You are original, you are unique, and you should strive to be the best version of you. Change is a momentous part of being a teenager. Most of us end up running from change. With every loss of childhood innocence comes a

gain, we cannot become any wiser without shedding the skin of naivety and youth, just as we can’t become a happier person without relinquishing some of our sorrows. In this issue, contributors have included examples of great change during our turbulent years, through protests for climate change or girls embracing their flaws, these girls are the future and are embracing the great change ahead of our generation. Published Zine arose out looking for an opportunity for girls to write for other girls. If we can’t learn to be kind to each other at the most hectic period of our lives, then how can we expect each other to form relationships later on in life. To the adults reading this, I have one simple question. What would you say to your teenage self? If you could go back, then what would you say to you? Chances are it will be along the line of ‘don’t stress’ or ‘take that opportunity’. Therefore, if there’s anything I want you to take away from my first issue it is this: take every opportunity you are given, be the best person you can be and live each day as if it was your last. Work your hardest, make new friends, get involved in your future and don’t waste any of the time you’ve been given. Sometimes even getting out of bed in the morning is a triumph so be kind to yourself, you’ve made it this far! Isabella Wharton xoxo

Illustration by Abby Haith

The Teenage Girl ~ Caley Collins

She stays up late and sings in the shower. She hates the mornings and loves talking about nothing with her friends. She knows all the words to her favourite songs and doodles on her folder when she’s meant to be concentrating. She wants to travel the world and spend her life doing something she loves. She spends time with the people she cares about and argues fiercely with her siblings before settling down to watch a movie. She wishes it was summer every day, or maybe Christmas. She doesn’t know what she wants to be, who she wants to be. She misses the people she’s been forced to leave behind. She follows the crowd sometimes and despises herself for it. She longs for change but wants everything to stay the same. She cries about things she can’t impact. But it’s ok. It’s alright to be uncertain. She’s still young and has time to make these choices. There is always another path to take if she doesn’t like the one she is on. She is growing up and changing. It was never going to be easy. Her parents tell her to be one thing, and her friends another. She doesn’t have to be either. She needs to make mistakes, experience heart break and forge a path of her own. It will break her and bruise her, but the most beautiful light shines through a heart with cracks on it

Should We All be Feminists? Chloe Holbrook

We Should All Be Feminists’ are the words that title the feminist plea by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. Her extended essay argues that ‘feminist’ is not a personal affront, but instead a label that should be used to define each and every one of us. The seeds of her statement are widely accepted - gender equality, liberality and tolerance should be nonpareil ideals, supported by a 2017 UK poll stating that only 8% said they agree with traditional gender roles - that a man's role remains as the breadwinner and a woman's at home - down from 43% in 1984.

forced the cause into public disrepute. But is this the real reason the label receives so much dismay? Are the facts unjustified - and in reality, does the ideology hold a lot of support? And what do young women feel today?

There seems to be a missing link. A 2018 YouGov poll found that only 34% of women in the UK would describe themselves as a ‘feminist’. Some say connotations of hairy-legged lesbians burning their bras and damning their husbands have

‘The associations of ‘feminist’ make it difficult to have a conversation with someone because they avoid discussion altogether - especially the older generation. I don’t know - there’s a definite assumption that one can’t be feminine and a feminist.’

‘I sort of worry people are going to judge you for it’. 17-year-old Lucy tells me. ‘The main thing is a fear of judgement, I try to explain to my family that the label (feminist) is just a label but they say it doesn’t need to be that way. We need a new name.’

This is one of many reservations for a lot of young people - who though are strong believers in gender equality - don’t want to flout inveterate beliefs installed in them by their family. It is as if their family ties restrict their ability to decide how they identify. To make their own decisions on how they want to be viewed in society.

it by family members’. She says, ‘My brother is not feminist, I assume he hasn’t quite understood why we are all so determined’. When male family members don’t get behind us, we often make hasty assumptions about ‘male superiority’. But really many argue it is just a lack of understanding. They ‘need to be educated’ for they cannot enWith this being said, young women dure the same sort of hardship are taking up positions of authority in the fashion women and girls and power within society at unrido. We can only expect them to valled rates. This often disregards help us if they really know what family preconceptions of the role of is going on. Perhaps this is even a young woman and her place in the the cause of hesitation for other world. So, the question still remains women - a lack of understanding. - what is it about being called a feminist that is so provocative? The ‘me too movement showed morality’ and though Rose - 17 Amelia - 16 - tells me ‘It’s the stigfeels ‘some women could make ma that girls think if they become a too much of a fuss and lie, which feminist, they hate men.’ gives the cause a bad name’, she also feels ‘movements like that She says ‘I would say I’m a feminist are really important to make because I believe in equal rights’. In substantial change and prove we essence that is all it really is - the will not be silenced’. fight for equality. ‘Feminism today has reached a new high point thanks to In response to the YouGov poll certain people and media platforms, illustrating only 34% of women but we are far from having reached identify with the label, she retotal equality.’ sponds ‘To be honest I’d expect it to be a much higher number. I Stella - 17 - describes her struggle as suppose it is the figureheads that she is ‘constantly questioned about make it seem stronger than it is’.

She goes on to tell me about her mother who ‘does admin and dinner parties’ and yet says her strain to be understood by many is degrading. She is ‘judged for being a stay at home mum’ and though she argues she definitely possesses ‘more potential than ironing’ - the societal pressure can sometimes be too great and makes her feel guilty for focusing her efforts solely on her children. ‘We need to get to a point where it's fine and accepted to be yourself - whatever you want to do.’ I once too was sceptical of the appellation of ‘feminist’. That was until I began to understand the historical weighting that birthed the name and that it is too great to pass over; from suffragettes and suffragists fighting for us in the early 20th century in the UK to the those in the Egyptian Women's Movement at a similar time. We must remember and honour them, with the apprehension that the fight is nowhere near over. Not in our nation and certainly not in many others. When people tell me their restraint to support the cause under this title name is due to its secular and exclusive nature, in particular ‘ignoring male suicide rates’ and other male-based issues, I recall an analogy once told to me. You need to think of feminism as a quilt, it is made up of lots of different sections, that sewn together make one

bigger more effective item' This means we all have our own little bit to do, we can't do everything but if some focus on male suicide rates and others on period poverty and others on pay gaps then more effective change can be made… I also ask them what they’ve done to improve male suicide rates. And, to me, that’s really all it is. We each have a part to play; whether our part is in FGM or male suicide rates. We have to recognise those women and men who have fought before us on the ground of female suffering, and also that much of this fight is not over. There is so great a historical significance placed on the word and we must recognise this if we are to ever move forward, so that the mistakes of the past are never repeated. Maybe what Adichie was actually saying is that many of us are actually feminists - just without the label. Maybe what she was trying to convey with this title is that there is too much meaning behind the word to look over, and to truly achieve gender equality - something 83% of us desire (Survation, 2016) - this must be accepted and appreciated. So maybe after all Adichie was right we really should all be feminists.

Photos by Chloe Holbrook

Growing up Between Two Cultures ~ Iqan Hussain

In today’s political climate, it’s very easy to be caught up in how difficult it is to be a person of colour (POC) in the western world. You live with this constant, underlying fear that people have irrational prejudices against you because of the colour of your skin; you feel eternally stuck just outside western society’s metaphorical box of what it means to be “normal”. As I entered my late teens and involved myself more in politics and activism, I have begun to realise how being a mix of two worlds actually contributed to the betterment of my character and my understanding of the world. It began in primary school, I was the only POC in my year, the others would pick on me and I never felt included. Now I look back and can’t help but think they treated me different because I was different; I wasn’t raised the same way. I’d get shocked, even judgemental looks when I told them I don’t eat (and had never tried) bacon. It was so confusing for my younger self, how they never showed any interest in me but could so easily joke about comedy sketches they saw online, about my culture, and what people like me went through. This was the first lesson I learnt: many people will only embrace different cultures when they can laugh at them- as if the humour made it more accessible to them because they had a chance to make fun of someone else. However, I notice this behaviour even in my 17-year-old peers, it doesn’t change. How do I explain that I’ll never have the freedom that they have; I can’t stay out late, I can’t go where I want, how do I tell them that without seeming ‘uncool’? I made jokes about it. I will never truly blend into the crowd and honestly, don’t think I ever really wanted to-I was just so sick of feeling excluded that I would do anything to feel like I belong- even if that meant slating my own culture to feel like people around me would accept me. This taught me my second lesson: to be happy in yourself and never be ashamed of where you come from and to embrace your differences. I learned from a young age to enjoy spending time by myself. When the other kids would pick on me, I remembered something my grandfather said: “never argue with stupid people”, and it was true, why would I fight for the respect of entitled brats when I could use that time to do something more valuable like write or draw?

I thought I would find my true friends quickly when I entered year 7but going to a predominantly white school meant the odds were not in my favour (needless to say I didn’t have the most amazing social skills) and it took a lot of courage to build my self-esteem and be myself. Only then did I find the friends that are now like sisters to me. It takes time, but everything you are told when you are young is actually true; when you be yourself and show who you truly are, people will take to you like moths to a flame. I have now found people who have supported me through the hardest moments of my life and our friendships are still growing stronger, so it was well worth the wait. Embracing my culture and being open about my struggles in terms of accepting my heritage has only brought my closest friends closer- I have shared parts of my life with them that I once suppressed because I didn’t realise it was something to be proud of. I have the honour of showing them a side of the world they haven’t seen and making sure they hear of all the news they don’t get told about on the BBC. I learned quickly to use my resources and take into account all the facts before forming opinions or starting arguments. This gave me knowledge that I would use, for example, to defend my religion when it was under attack, which seemed to be happening increasingly, as more people began to speak openly about subjects, they knew nothing of. To be able to shut down misconceptions about the Islamic community and share my opinions was empowering; it inspired me and I wanted to encourage others to be activists and speak out on these social issues, too. Through this I found a way to connect with people on a larger scale, as I wanted to show everyone that we can all support each other- whether you are black, white Muslim or Christian- I wanted everyone to feel as powerful as I did, to appreciate diversity and never cease to fight for whatever is right. Growing up between South Asian and English culture allowed me to embrace that I will never be what is conventionally “normal”. Instead, I find strength in the fact that I see the world from different viewpoints, and can confidently inform people on wider issues that affect so many people globally. It pushed my thirst for knowledge and desire for peace and justice, as well as teaching me how to be mature in difficult situations where I can feel alone or like an outlier. I will forever be grateful for the experiences I had because of it and will always remember how being different made me who I am today.

Artwork by Katie Kirby

Me and my body… I am fat now. I’m not saying this to be funny. For the first time in years, I looked at myself and saw an overweight, ugly, pale person staring back at me My legs were as wide as the horizon and my stomach was rounded like the face of the moon. I was ashamed. In that moment and now, I think about how beautiful I could have been if I didn’t eat so much, if I had time to work out, if I had a life. ~ Anonymous

Artwork by Joanna Arlington

It is as if glasses have been strapped to my face Which cloud my vision wherever I look. They weigh down my eyelids and slow down the pace Like re-reading the same page of a book I can’t think of any other way to describe it So, shutting off all thoughts is the only solution No words are even close and fit The pure hopelessness and feeling so broken I know shutting the world off isn’t good for me But it’s the only thing I know how to Dark fog on the world is all I can see So why fight it and make the fall harder? The days carry on, but time has no meaning The minutes and hours blur into one In my body I don’t even have any feeling Just utterly empty and eternally numb ~ Maya Gallen

The Rise of the LGBTQ+ Teen Cast your mind back to the wondrous and weird world of 1970s Britain. Except that you can’t because, much like me, you were born in the new millennium. If the stories of our parents are anything to go by, it was a place of unimaginable freedom. Parents weren’t as protective of their offspring as they are now, so picnics in the forest and riding bikes to school were the norm for teenagers. No phone meant no pestering texts from your mum asking where you are every five minutes, so obviously the world must have been a utopia. But there was one major disadvantage to growing up in the 70s or 80s, which, in my opinion, wouldn’t make it worth it for most of the teens around today. Low and behold: the lack of LGBT acceptance. Most likely, your parents didn’t know a single out lesbian, gay or trans teen (and the term ‘bisexual’ would have been unheard of).

In start contrast, I, at the age of 17, have become acquainted with over 40 LGBT teens. And those are the ones who have told me. what has changed in the world to result in such a drastic change in numbers of LGBT youth?

Above anything else, it has been the startling realisation of the bisexual. The understanding that sexuality is fluid and that a large proportion of people experience same sex attraction over the course of their life, often starting in adolescence. From my knowledge of talking to LGBT youth, the bisexuals make up the majority of the community and most abundantly girls. For the first time in human history, not being straight has become cool. Now don’t get me wrong, I know what you’re thinking, the prospect of a sexual orientation becoming fashionable and turning into a trend might not be a good thing. And whilst it is true that some may tend towards acting in their expression of love, they are still helping to make the world a more open and accepting place for the permanent LGBT people, for whom the queer teen experience is not just a phase. Queer being cool has meant that coming of age teens can openly question and explore their sexuality without feeling the shame, guilt and denial that our ancestors felt when they turned 14 and saw a cute girl at school, and wondered what it might feel like if maybe, somehow, she might like to hold your hand too. I want to take a moment to appreciate the progress we’ve made, as a society and as a community, from the stigma of yesterday to the acceptance of today.

Don't wanna be eighteen with responsibilities Sometimes I get scared of growing up Entering a world with broken dreams Sometimes I get scared and throw it all up And June the third is Coming closer and I'm Nowhere near closure Don't wanna be eighteen when I can't ride a bike Still hang onto my sheets during storms In my bed I'm ten but I can't shut my eyes I still wish I wore a school uniform And June the third is Coming closer and I'm Nowhere near closure Don't wanna be eighteen with a messy room Still wonder what lingers under my bed at night Kinda wish I stayed at my mother's home Are we gonna know what it's like to be blind? ~ Eighteen, Beabadoobee

Artwork by Abby Haith

STORY ABOUT

HA I R

KOLO HAILEE DO

I was weird. Yes, I know everyone says they were weird when they were younger, but I was actually weird. In fact, the harder I tried to conform to social norms the weirder I became: when I was nine years old, all the girls I saw on TV (who mostly had straight hair) wore their hair in a ponytail, so I decided I wanted to wear my hair in a ponytail. The only problem was that my hair was frizzy and really hard to put into a ponytail and there was always hair sticking out at the front! So, one day, I decided to grab all of my hair that was sticking out and I just chopped it off with scissors. I cut it quite short so you couldn’t see it at first but once it began to grow out after a few months, it was sticking out again, and it looked much worse than before. However, by then I’d decided I wanted to be weird, and although I tried to keep my hair tidy with bobby pins, I always looked like I’d just walked through a hurricane. I loved being the weirdo, that one different girl. Everyone around me loved and accepted my weirdness too so my confidence only grew stronger.

When I was eleven, I moved to Europe, and everyone had straight hair. I was new, so I hid my ‘weirdness’ because I wanted to make friends and fit in. So, I straightened my hair. All the girls were worrying about how flat their stomachs looked and going on model-promoted diets to clear their skin, so I started doing it too. Then it started to hurt, because it wasn’t working. My waist wasn’t small enough, my skin had scars and I didn’t look like neither the white, the black or the mixed-race model I saw on my Instagram feed. I told myself that to be good enough, that is what I needed to look like. My confidence and self-esteem had reached an all-time low. When I told people that I was insecure they said to me: “You have no reason to be insecure, you’re beautiful, you’re smart and you look like a model.” Since most people didn’t see anything wrong with the way I looked, they never took my very real insecurities seriously, so I felt very alone and misunderstood. Anyone can be insecure, even if you don’t understand why. One day I woke up and I looked in the mirror: all I could see were the shorter pieces of the front part of my hair sticking out of my head (because yes, they still hadn’t fully grown out). I remembered nine-year-old me who was very happy with her hair that was sticking out. I stepped into the shower and wet my hair to make it curl, and I didn’t straighten my hair again.

The next week I came into school with my hair out, I was astonished at the number of compliments I got. I didn’t have to wear a uniform at the time which let me turn my weirdness onto full blast gave me the ability to wear whatever I wanted. I became more outgoing and felt so much more comfortable in school because I was finally being myself. I stopped caring about what others thought, at the end of the day, I was the only one telling myself I wasn’t good enough, and it felt so good to stop. I know everyone tells you to love yourself, it’s hard to and I still don’t fully love myself: I still have insecurities and things I may not like about myself. But I am actively working to accept them and love them too. I don’t tell myself I’m not good enough anymore. This is a lot easier said than done but it doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Whether you are close to what society considers perfect or not, your insecurities are just as valid and just as real and either way you can overcome them, alone or with the support of others because you are strong enough, look at how far you’ve already come. Don’t be someone you’re not because the world needs someone like you so please, for the whole world’s sake, just be you.

photos by Molly Fenwick

Your Voice Matters! The rise of student-led activism Molly Fenwick The student climate strike movement has been one of the most powerful student-led movements we have seen in recent years, founded by Greta Thunberg. On a Friday in August 2018, she decided not to go into school, and instead sat outside the Rikstag to protest the government’s disregard of the severity of the climate crisis. This small action has sent ripples around the world, starting a major youth-led movement whose purpose is to put pressure on world leaders to fight the climate crisis. This led to the ‘Fridays for the Future’ organisation, a movement encouraging students to skip school on occasional Fridays to protest, just as Thunberg did in that August. I have taken part in several of these demonstrations, and I was struck by the hope they inspire. These protests, due to the fact that they are led by young people, are hubs of creativity. Signs, placards, rallying cries and a buzzing atmosphere inspire hope and a sense of community among our generation. While there is rage and anger at politicians for their inaction, there is also a sense of love and spirit amongst protesters, as we feel united in our struggle to be heard. Greta Thunberg’s drive, determination and passion has manifested itself in the form of a global impact causing politicians, world leaders and ordinary people to take a step back and rethink the way that we live our lives. And all of this thanks to a teenage girl.

PHOTOS

EMMA HIGGINS @YOBABYEM

PUBLISHED X YOBABYEM

Beauty

Beauty. A noun that if you do not fit, It can destroy your confidence in life. If you are a girl and are not, Beautiful. How can you look at yourself in the mirror? They’ll say. They’ll say, Change yourself to look like that model. Or, You're not pretty enough to be successful. But if you put on makeup, And do as they tell you, They’ll say you try too hard.

Instead of listening to them you should be thinking, I love myself, I’m beautiful, I can achieve anything I want to. Rather than flicking through the pages of Vogue, Lowering your self-esteem. When you’re actually perfect, Just the way you are.

Amelia Foale

Living with a period makes you a warrior! ~ Maddie Wharton Whether you felt prepared for your first period or clueless, I’m sure we can all agree that we have all come across some challenges that no one could prepare you for - no matter how ‘experienced’ you are! As someone who’s struggled through periods here’s what I’ve learnt through my experience. The first piece of advice I have for you isn’t to eat 10 salads a day, or run a marathon; but actually chocolate! Dark chocolate contains heavier amounts of the cocoa bean, which is high in magnesium, potassium and iron which are beneficial because they can help replace the iron lost during your period. These qualities of dark chocolate also help relax your muscles and uplift your mood without consuming as many calories. Did you know that menstrual cramps can be almost as painful as a heart attack? Most of us will have to go through having cramps throughout our cycle, and for some women it can be the most uncomfortable and displeasing part of their period, which is why we need some solutions!

I’ve found pain release particularly through applying heat to the lower abdomen or lower back and enjoying a hot drink, sometimes even a hot bath can help too. Scientific research has proven that exercise can actually benefit you greatly when it comes to periods. When doing exercise, you produce endorphins, which makes you feel good, and these natural mood lifters can help relieve cramps too! Hydration really is key when it comes to your period. With benefits such as reducing bloating, draining toxins from the body and could even go as far as shortening your period; it really is a no brainer. Your body will thank you at the end of the day, I assure you. Girls, no one ever said periods were easy! But slowly we can stop the taboo surrounding them and support each other. Remember, we’re strong because of the blood we’re losing each month. Boys could never!

Female Leaders in Astrophysics research ~ Caroline Swenson I want to highlight two inspirational figures in space exploration history, almost fifty years apart. Margaret Hamilton was the woman who coined the phrase ‘software engineering’, computer scientists and systems engineers for MIT before working for NASA’s Apollo program team to develop on-board flight software. She was a lover of maths from an early age and transformed this passion to become an expert in software writing and engineering at MIT after her graduation. In the mid-1960s Hamilton heard of MIT’s advertisement for programmers to ‘send man to the moon’ and due to her success, she was the first hired programmer for the Apollo project at MIT. In 1965 she led her team dedicated to writing and testing software for Apollo’s 11 two 7-pound computers: one for the lunar module and one for the command module. Both the lunar and command modules contained guidance and control systems, which would guide the spacecraft in lunar orbit. Hamilton designed a crucial aspect of the Apollo missions’ command module’s guidance

system, the on-board flight software system that prioritised specific alarms in order of urgency. Without a doubt, this saved the success of the Apollo 11 moments before landing. Moments before, an unusual amount of ‘unknown’ alarms flashed, and without Hamilton’s software, the astronauts would have to resort to an abort mission as there was no way to determine which alarms were involving safety. Her software was smart enough to recognize that it was being asked to perform more tasks than it should be. It was programmed to do more than recognize error conditions, but there was a complete set of recovery programs that were incorporated into the software. The software would then eliminate low priority tasks and re-establish the more important ones. Every time there was an overload, the software would clear out its entire queue of processes, restarted functions, and perform the highest ones first then complete the rest. This software was utilized throughout the Apollo and shuttle missions.

When she first came up with software engineering, nobody had heard of it. It was a radical idea. The explained that the process of building a software should be considered an engineering discipline. During the early Apollo missions, she argued this in an attempt to legitimise this into a discipline. Over time and success, it gained respect. She once said, ‘there was no choice but to be pioneers’. Over time, NASA was so impressed with the software’s ability that Sylab and the shuttle program adapted it. She has explained in many interviews now most software engineers are male but that fact would never deter her. She describes this mentality where there should be equal rights and access to any job, it should be all about one choosing the path they want to go into. She was extremely innovative like no other, which reflected her career choices. President Barack Obama awarded Hamilton with the presidential medal of freedom for leading this development of the Apollo flight software. The citation on her metal stated that her work ‘set the foundation for modern, ultra-reliable software design and engineering’. Hamilton created this filed for more inspirational women to follow.

Katie Bouman made an unseeable object seeable, leading the development of the computer program algorithm that made the famous black hole image possible. She led this project, assisted by MIT computer science and artificial intelligence labs, along with the Harvard-Smithsonian centre for astrophysics. She explained as she watched ‘in disbelief as the first image I ever made of a black hole was in the process’. It was her series of algorithms that converted telescopic data into the photo through the technique of interferometry. She stressed the importance of teamwork in science, and how her research is about finding the unknown, ‘pushing boundaries’ within her field of astrophysics. She aspires to search for information hidden within images imperceptible to the human eye. I hope that these women can serve as an inspiration to you. The STEM industry is about innovation and learning more about our universe every day. This is the kind of industry that, as we move forward, needs more young women entering this changing field!

It feels like a movie... It feels like a movie, The blue tint on full effect. Reflective glass dropping From the ceiling, we may never touch. Now something’s following me, Bustling in the wind. Moving sporadically across the stone-paved ground, It’s dark, black but small. It feels like a movie, The perfectly chiselled faces, The golden locks flowing past the perfect body, A shell of happiness and beauty surrounds them. Now, something’s growing behind me, Disruptive in my thoughts, Infecting every corner of my mind, It’s dark, encompassing. But what’s that in the distance. A hand. Small and delicate. I shudder at the thought. Looking behind, I realise the dark hole I’m in. Isolating, cold, lonely. Really bloody lonely

And for once in my life, I want to escape. I want to leave this place; I have hope. I take the hand that’s offered to me. It’s a long journey, but my credits weren’t due to roll yet. It feels like a movie, Where emotions and stereotypes Are pushed on to us. Where the masks of the Greeks Are plastered on. Now something’s engulfing me, Every thought dark and deathly. Every movement is small and tiring. It’s dark; it’s everywhere. It feels like a movie, Watching from the sidelines, While people play the game of life. Gaining loves, memories and childhoods. Now I am the darkness, Anxiety and sadness are me. I am it. It’s all I have to my name, It’s dark, and time for ‘The End’ to appear.

Artwork by Chloe Sheppard

18 Before 18... Films everyone needs to see before turning 18 1. Ladybird (2017) 2. Call Me by Your Name (2017) 3. Legally Blonde (2001) 4. The Breakfast Club (1985) 5. The Edge of Seventeen (2016) 6. Wild Child (2008) 7. 10 Things I Hate About You (1999) 8. Clueless (1995) 9. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (2005) 10. Eighth Grade (2018) 11. The Virgin Suicides (2000) 12. Booksmart (2019) 13. Sixteen Candles (1984) 14. 13 going on 30 (2004) 15. Moonrise Kingdom (2012) 16. Mean Girls (2004) 17. The Perks of being a Wallflower (2012) 18. Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging (2008) Check out @silverpartypants for movie journal 46 recommendations

ylist a l p l ~ a teenager r i G nage being a e e T The s up m u s that

1. Seventeen ~ Peach Pit 2. Prom Queen ~ Beach Bunny 3. Summer Depression ~ girl in red 4. Scrawny ~ Wallows 5. Eighteen ~ Beabadoobee 6. Teenage Kicks ~ The Undertones 7. Baba O’Riley ~ The Who 8. Teenage Dirtbag ~ Wheatus 9. Good as Hell ~ Lizzo 10. Don’t Feel Like Crying ~ Sigrid 11. idontwannabeyouanymore ~ Billie Eilish

I would like to thank everyone who made this issue possible, Published isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t possible without the contributions from girls all around the world. Love to you all and thank you for sharing my passion for the vision I had xoxo Isabella <3 Chloe Holbrook Emma Higgins Caroline Swenson Molly Fenwick Iris Jennings Abby Haith Joanna Arlington Maddie Wharton Hailee Dokolo Ash Drummond Maya Gallen Iqan Hussain Caley Collins Front and back cover photos by Iris Jennings and Isabella Wharton Follow us on socials to discover more! Instagram ~ @published_zine Spotify ~ publishedzine Email ~ publishedzine@gmail.com