3 TIPS TO AVOID THE TRAP OF COMPARISION

3 Tips to Avoid the Trap of Comparison

By: Danielle Lyles

The other day I walked into a local coffee shop, dressed in yoga pants, a sweatshirt and tennis shoes. As soon as the doors closed behind me, the woman at the end of the line, immediately turned her head in my direction. She looked me over from the top of my head to the soles of my feet all in a matter of 10 seconds. She then turned around and finished her conversation. I shook my head at the idea that she’d probably summed my life up in the 10 seconds she’d taken to look at me. Nevertheless, I got in line behind her and waited for the first woman in line to finish her order. As soon as she paid, she walked past me and smiled. I smiled back but immediately began to wonder who did her hair because it wasn’t the best looking. I looked down at her feet and then down at mine. It was cold that day and I wondered why hadn’t she taken the time to check the weather, like I did. I looked at her handbag and wondered was it authentic. I rubbed my hand over my handbag, thinking about how much better it was to not have a knock-off. Lastly, I noticed her skirt was a bit tight. I looked down at my yoga pants that weren’t the loosest and immediately I got this “twinge”in my spirit so to speak. I’m not trying to get super spiritual on you but you know how it is when you do something the Holy Spirit doesn’t like and He lets you know? That’s where I was in that moment. I paused realizing that I’d just done the exact same thing I reprimanded the woman in front of me for doing in my private thoughts. Every question I had regarding her was based off of the fact that I was the total opposite. In my mind, I was better than her and I didn’t even know her name. I repented and have been reading up on comparison and how to avoid the constant feeling of needing to be better than others. What I found might be as helpful to you as it was to me. Comparison is something most women are familiar with at one point or another in their lives. We’re inundated with photos of perfection and work tirelessly to meet unrealistic standards. We see other women’s successes, talents and skills and try to fit in a mold that we were never meant to fit into. We yield to trendy behaviors and self-help propaganda to be the best we can be but don’t take into consideration if these behaviors and steps are really God’s best for us. The truth is, if we really understood Who’s we are and how He created us to be, we’d never compare ourselves to anyone because we would understand that our uniqueness was intended to bring Him glory, not ourselves. So how do we combat the desire to compare ourselves to other women? I’m glad you asked.

Apply Scripture

The Word of God is our first defense in changing our hearts, thoughts and actions. Galatians 6:4 (NKJV) says, “But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone and not in another.” You’ll never find joy comparing yourself to others. Take the time to look at how God has fashioned and blessed your life. Look at the many successes He’s allowed to come your way and be grateful. Look at the many lessons He’s taught you that have made you who you are and thank Him. This is where your joy and contentment will come from.

Compliment, Compliment, Compliment!

Proverbs 16:24 (NKJV), says, “Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.” Anytime you feel the urge to compare yourself to another pay her a compliment. Genuinely look for something to compliment her on and go for it. Not only will it be encouraging to her it will help take the focus off of you.

Get Over Yourself

Comparison exposes the condition of our hearts. We compare because we feel the need to be better than others. Paul says in Romans 12:3 (NKJV), “For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith.” To think soberly means to think with correct thinking. For Christians, this means to think humbly. Learn to accept yourself as who you are in Christ, not as you wish you were.