Hopeful Thinking

Mean What You Say

by Will Darcangelo (continued)

There are reasons for making purposeful variations on everyday customs like this. It gets us out of the habit of rote responses that don’t mean much. People perceive sincerity, even if not consciously. It’s like body language in that way. We often are processing information about others on multiple levels of awareness even if we aren’t fully conscious of most of them. A person who is sincere in their subtleties is often viewed as trustworthy or genuine, even if we’ve never had occasion to evaluate their genuineness or trustworthiness. There’s just something about them that makes us feel more comfortable.

But also, when we choose to practice sincerity with intentionality, it signals our own brains regarding the concepts of honesty and sincerity in general. In other words, it has a ripple effect on our own psyches to make mindful choices about the seemingly inconsequential words and phrases we use.

To be clear, no one’s getting hurt by the customary exchanges as they exist. I’m not advocating that we all dispense with the usual pleasantries, even if rote. But making deliberate little tweaks to the usual script just for the sake of it can have an effect of laying the groundwork for other preferable but stubborn changes we long to make within ourselves.

(continued on next page)