How Can a Candle Smell Like Advent?

?How Can A Candle Smell Like Advent by Brad Engborg

It is not always easy to describe the scent of a candle. Have you tried? Ask ten different people and you will get ten different answers. Does it smell like fruit or flowers or conjure up a specific memory relating to a time or an event in your life such as summer, a soft rain, or fresh cut grass?

For me it smells like Advent. How can a candle smell like Advent? Well, for the past 20+ years, the sweet light honey scent of homemade beeswax candles has permeated our home for days and weeks at a time as I sat for many evenings making Advent and Christmas candles. As my hands work the honeycombed shaped wax into the telltale purple and rose colored Advent candles, I spend time surrounded by their fragrance while reflecting on the memories which connect me to this special time of year. I think my love of candles and the light they give has always attracted me since childhood. I have very vivid memories where candles created a sense of happiness. Some of my favorite memories are of my father lighting candles at the dinner table and the lively and witty discussions that ensued; my favorite candle shop in an old red building by the ocean with a giant window on the second floor that overlooked the seaside town of Kennebunkport, Maine where I spent time every summer; candles glowing in the houses during cold snowy winter nights in Vermont where I grew up; votive candles lit at church for the intention of others. Little did I know that my love of candles would one day send me down the 20+ year path of creating Advent and Christmas candles while simultaneously leading me through a personal spiritual journey.

Let me share a little more about myself. I have been married for 22 years to my wife Donna and I have two college-aged boys--Kyle and Tyler. We have been parishioners at Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton in Woodbridge, Virginia since 1999. I am a 4th Degree Knight and can often be found helping at Knights of Columbus church functions. For many years I assisted with youth group activities, including making Advent candles with the Religious Education children and their families.

I am a converted Catholic. I grew up Episcopalian. This is how my spiritual journey begins. Through my formative years I was occasionally found attending Mass with my Catholic friends which gave me a sense of a community that I didn’t have. Through years of life journeys and spiritual lessons learned along the way I made the decision to go through the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults (RCIA) program in 2006 at Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton.

Let me share a journey I call “the accidental house guest.” In the Fall of my Junior year of college, I was accepted into a study abroad program that sent me to London, UK.

I arrived overseas, on my first solo trip and tired from travelling, at the City University of London. Upon my arrival at the university I was informed that the student housing was completely full and I would be staying at another prearranged location off campus. This was a bit upsetting; but I took the address they handed me on a piece of paper, I crumpled it into my pocket, grabbed my meagre belongings and headed out to their subway system called the “Tube” to find my new home--The Newman House at 111 Gower Street.

Little did I know that the Newman House is the Catholic Chaplaincy in London that houses students from a variety of universities. As my feet landed on the steps I thought my semester of college fun overseas was shot right there. And as for Faith? I sure felt like I didn’t have any at that time.

My parents were separated and, as I mentioned, I had not grown up Catholic so I was not feeling too comfortable being there at the Chaplaincy. It was sort of a fish out of water feeling. I thought surely it was all a big mistake and it would get remedied in the morning. However, once inside they were most definitely expecting me!

They showed me to my room in a building which was covered from roof to basement in scaffolding, completely under renovation.Not unlike myself, who I discovered in hindsight was also going through a renovation just of a more personal and spiritual nature.

Often, I was awakened in the dark early hours of the morning to the sound of work crews hauling buckets up to the roof. During those early hours I would head to the bathroom to shower in almost complete darkness because the electricity had been completely cut off. Candles were provided for lighting - a flicker, like a candle flame, ignited in me and lit up the darkness - Okay, I opted for a flashlight! But could this have been a foreshadowing of the Advent candles I would one day make?

Looking back now on that time, I know God had a plan for me and he knew what he was doing placing me there. But isn’t that how every journey is? We often cannot see the journey we are taking forward until we look in our rear-view mirror and see where we have been.

I discovered Newman House was a place full of lively wonderful personalities from all over the world. I was often invited to attend daily Mass and group discussions. Being stubborn, I turned down almost every invite. But they kept inviting me, never growing impatient with me (I now suspect I was probably the focus of a few extra prayers from behind closed doors) and eventually I engaged in the liveliest of chats and in-depth conversations, discovering an amazing chain of connection between all who wandered through those front doors. The seeds of my faith were planted here. Looking back, I could not have found a better place to spend my time while in London. This is where I opened my heart and mind to experiences in the world and be in the moment whether across the world or right here in

our backyard. I realized the four candles of Advent--Hope, Peace, Joy and Love--were available to me then as it is in Advent season and every day.

After I left Newman House, God must have realized “planting seeds” wouldn’t be enough for this hardened soul before he returned me to the States so he gave me another pivotal moment on my spiritual journey.

After travelling like a nomad for a few weeks across Europe I found myself stuck, due to a train strike, in of all places Rome, Italy on Christmas Eve. I rented a room at a pension from a family who enjoyed hearing about my recent experience at Newman House. I took a walk with some friends and upon returning to my room discovered a very special gift on my bed. It was a ticket to the Christmas midnight Mass at St. Peter’s Basilica at the Vatican with Pope John Paul II. It was a several mile walk to the Vatican and once inside I was ushered in, led down a long hallway, sent through a side door and suddenly found myself in a seat about 10 rows behind the altar with the same view as the Pope looking out over the congregation.

The Mass was a pivotal moment for me and is forever etched in my mind’s eye. I walked back to the pension after Mass in the middle of the night through the streets crowded with tens of thousands of people, many carrying candles lighting up the night and connected together in complete silence. Again, a flicker, like a candle flame, ignited in me and lit up the darkness. I was starting to see a pattern here!

Fast forward years later to pivotal moment number three. I met my future wife Donna. In marriage preparation I discovered the Catholic Faith again. Meeting with priests, going through Pre-Cana, preparing the wedding service and promising to baptize and raise our future children in the Catholic Faith. In the first few years of marriage my wife, recognizing my love of candles, urged me to make my own. I started out making candles of all colors for craft fairs and then someone asked if I would make candles for Advent. So I did. Year after year my list for Advent candles grew larger and larger as my community at Church grew as well. At this point, which may come as no surprise, I decided to join the Church officially and I went through the RCIA program.

As my boys entered Religious Education classes, the DRE invited me to instruct the children and their families how to make their own Advent candles by providing a kit I made for them. These events with my wife and children grew into fun memories and traditions as we made our family Advent candles together with our Church community.

Making Advent candles every year for others has special meaning for me knowing that the recipients are celebrating and focusing on Hope, Peace, Joy and Love through the Advent season just a little more because God has worked a lifetime to lead me here.