Lord, Thy Will be Done

Have you ever had a single moment in your life when it seems everything is moving in slow motion, yet spinning and swirling like a carnival ride, going faster and faster, until you feel completely out of control? My moment happened on September 5th, when I was told over the phone by my radiologist that her fears were confirmed: “You have breast cancer. Actually you have two forms of cancer.” As I stood in the aisle at the grocery store processing this news, while holding a new deodorant I wanted to try, thoughts faster than the speed of light hit me. Milliseconds of, “I am not ready to die. I can’t leave my husband--We haven’t had enough time. How will I tell my children? Who will take care of my dad? Do I really need this deodorant now?” Then I pause, take a deep breath, and say out loud, “Lord, Thy will be done.” I then prayed the Hail Mary through the self checkout, while walking to my car and the ten-minute drive home until I fell into my husbands arms and sobbed. I was asked to write about my journey, but to me, my journey hasn’t begun. These few weeks are mere steps-- steps of doctor appointments, MRI’s, biopsies and surgeries. But with each step, I am t making this a sacrifice that I can give up to our Lord. Of learning to trust--and I mean TRUST--in whatever God has planned. I have always had a deep devotion to our Blessed Mother. I find so much grace through praying the rosary. Mary’s intercession and love, as with any mother’s love, is immeasurable. I have found during this cancer diagnosis blessings from our Lord, Mary and St. Therese in many forms. My husband, Brian, and his continued love, support and dealing with my cra

zy paranoid moments never ceases to amaze me. My family, especially my sister-in-law Julie, who has just recently dealt with cancer herself in having a rare sarcoma mass removed. From an unexpected text or card from a friend, words of encouragement, love and prayers. I am discovering blessings come in many forms--from being able to laugh through the tears to the calming of my fears. My devotion to Mary has been the

cornerstone to helping me through this small step of my journey. I fall back on St.Therese and how she accepted, wanted, the pain she endured as a sacrifice to God. How the children of Fatima made sacrifices with their fears to God, and that’s what I am striving to do. There will be physical pain; but I hope by accepting this I will become spiritually stronger. To conclude, I want to encourage you all to be strong in your faith and when you have those moments of doubt--when the devil tries to make your fears bigger than God--to stop, pray, and focus on the now and let God handle the future and what’s to come.