How to Raise GOOD LEADERS

By Rebecca Barnes

Leadership is a skill that can be learned. It takes time, effort, and patience to raise good leaders, but it's worth the effort. You might not see the results right away, but as your child grows up and gains experience in life, you'll see that your efforts have paid off.

Listen.

Listening is an important skill for leaders. Listening helps you understand others, learn from them, and build relationships. As a result, listening helps you make better decisions and get more done with less effort.

Teach kids not to interrupt by talking about how they feel when someone doesn’t let them have a turn. Show them to listen by listening to them when they want to express their feelings or ideas. Repeat back to them to show you understand.

Talk to your child about what a leader is. One of the most important things you can do to help your child become a good leader is to teach what leadership is. The term “leader” is used so casually that some children don't know what it means, and as a result, they may not understand how to apply their skills as leaders in their school, community, and personal lives.

Here are some ways to explain the concept of leadership: n A leader does not demand respect; he or she earns it. A boss tells people what to do; a good leader inspires them to follow by setting an example himself or herself. n A good leader needs followers just as much as followers need a good leader. The best leaders surround themselves with people who are smarter than they are, because they know that adding smart people to their team will make them stronger too! n Good leaders use words carefully because their words have power — a lot more power than most people realize! An effective speaker doesn't just talk louder than everyone else at the table (even though some might think this works); instead, they find ways to communicate effectively by speaking softly while maintaining eye contact so that everyone can hear clearly what they are saying at all times without having anyone feel overwhelmed by noise levels.

Use exemplary leaders as role models. Read books to your kids or encourage them to read biographies of leaders you wish your kids to model. You can also use movies or documentaries to introduce these leaders to your kids. Talk about people they know who are leaders and what about them makes them a good leader.

Encourage your child to try new things and learn from mistakes.

When your child makes a mistake, don't criticize him or her. Instead, ask questions to help them understand why it happened so they can avoid making similar mistakes in the future. You should also encourage your child to try new things and learn from their experiences. For example, if your child wants to play an instrument or learn how to dance, but you think their talents might lie elsewhere, let them try it anyway. Your child may surprise you by being better at something than you thought!

Nurture their passions and interests, even when they're different from yours.

If you have a child who's passionate about something, encourage them to pursue it. If your daughter loves ballet, for example, make sure she gets lessons and that you support her in that endeavor.

If you don't agree with what your child is passionate about, try to understand why they feel the need to explore those interests instead of trying to change their minds — you might be surprised by what you learn!

Of course, there are some things that are off-limits: no matter how much you love video games or music videos (or whatever), if your teen wants to spend all day in their room playing Fortnite or watching YouTube videos instead of doing homework or participating in extracurriculars at school then that's where we need to draw a line. We don't want our kids' future employers thinking they'll show up late because they spent all night playing games online!

Instead of trying to mold your child into a leader, give him opportunities to discover what interests him and who he wants to be. Let him try new things until he finds his passion — and then support his efforts as he learns what works best for him!

If your child isn't interested in being a leader right now but still has some leadership characteristics that need refining (like assertiveness), help her learn how best she can express herself without being hurtful or offensive by giving her some space and flexibility when speaking up on behalf of others.

Make sure your kids understand the importance of good followership.

As they grow up, it's important to make sure your kids understand the importance of good followership. Good leaders have been great followers at some point in their lives. The best way to learn how to be a good leader is by following someone you respect and admire, who has qualities that you admire yourself. Your child may have trouble understanding this concept at first because they haven't had much experience as a follower yet; but if they can see what makes their role models so special, they'll be more likely to emulate them later on. In addition to being humble enough not to take credit for other people's ideas or accomplishments, true leaders also recognize when someone else has done something amazing — and acknowledge their contribution accordingly!

Children who learn leadership skills will have an advantage later in life. There is a lot of room for leadership skills to be learned. Good leaders are often good followers, so it’s important for children to learn the value of following others and following instructions.

Leadership skills can also be learned from your peers, teachers, parents, and other family members.

Raising good leaders isn't easy, but it's certainly not impossible. It takes a lot of work from both parents and children, but the payoff is worth it. By teaching your kids to lead others well now, you'll be helping them become great leaders for years to come.

Make sure your expectations are realistic. Your children are not mini-you. They don’t have the same skills or desires, and they won’t reach the same milestones at the same time. If you push your kids to do something they don’t want to do, it will backfire — and it might even push them away from leadership altogether.

Rebecca Barnes is the Publisher of Prince William Living, and founding task force member of Leadership Prince William, www.leadershipprincewilliam.org. Reach her at rbarnes@princewilliamliving.com.