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Editor: Raul Moya Eduardo Camare Graphic designer: Eduardo Camare www. camare.co.uk Photography: Raul Moya www.raul-moya-mulaphotography.com Collaborators: Matthew J. Elliott Ludovic Aublanc Leandro Vitor Contact details: Raul Moya Mula T +44 (0)794 9550 136 raulmoya@hotmail.com www.myspace.com/qingfanzine
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i n t! a be sa ed o t t n wa oni z be c an ell a t ed o t t n a flag Iw ed a nd e mor ni ngs p p i h W th od y i ta te in ll my b To Lev a n o s o re have s ressed o t d n A b e d is t n t o ec s t as i e s o t t n a i Iw ds nd go a d he han e t d n u i l e a t D a nk e s t igm To hav et and the fla fe In t he ! a s a i n t t m a n! e b o t evou I want b e a d t! o t t n in I wa b e a s a o u t m a n! o t t n a v e Iw be a d o t t n I wa ed re d mar t yr o live c loiste e b o t t ter y I want monas ified a n i t he A nd anc t t o be s e and t o s ee t n a w I om el to R t o t ra v Pope! e en I di r r upt h w t a h t i nc o I want e m a i ns w ho s ee s me r y d o one My b t ever y d scared! a h t d An ea ll get d a y e h T ! a s a i n t t m a n! e b o t evou I want b e a d t! o t t n in I wa be a sa out man! o t t n a ev Iw be a d o t t n I wa
This text has been stolen from a Spanish gay pop anthem and translated into English to introduce you to this issue theme: Sex, religion and sport. This fanzine intents to be an instrument of propaganda of frustrated minds that don’t feel represented in main stream media. Rejected artists, writers, designers, poets, photographers, pornographers, exhibitionists, fetishists and complicated homosexuals in general are very much welcome. Raul Moya, Editor. 4
All pain borne for Thee Changes to joy for me, When my love flies to Thee, Winged like the dove. Heavenly Completeness, Infinite Sweetness, My soul possesseth Thee Here, as above.
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HE LIVES INSIDE ME
[ s u b missi o n ]
Deliver me from evil, I would pray day and night. Set me free Lord, I want to do the right thing by you. I submit my life to you. My body, my soul. Everything that I am, have your way with me. I want to be clean and ready for you to use me in anyway that you want my Master.
[ f ill
me
u p ]
Fill me up, I would pray. Fill me with your power. Fill me with your strength. Fill me until I cannot take anymore, touch me now worthy one. Come inside me and breathe on me.
[ des p e r a t e
touch]
I remember the desperate longing for his touch, for him to speak to me and show me things. Waiting in anticipation for his words of wisdom, affirmations and manifestations that would touch me from the inside. He always knew what to say at the right time, calm me down and put things into perspective. Some times I would laugh, sometimes I would cry, sometimes I would just bask in his presence and warmth. 10
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[
en
t
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r
in
]
Down on my knees with my face buried in the ground, crying out King of Glory enter in! You are the Lord, strong and mighty, King of Glory enter in! Enter my heart, enter my body. Penetrate me from the tips of my fingers to the soles of my feet. I want to feel you.
[ s w ee t a nn o in t in g ] I prayed that the heavens would open up and his sweet anointing would flow all over me. His anointing would cleanse me, poured out over me like a mighty rushing stream. Rain on me, anoint me with your joy, I would beg.
[ c o mm u ni o n ]
Each week I would desire to eat of his body and drink from his blood. Taking his body into my mouth, closing my eyes and feeling his power, drinking from his cup with repentance. For it is only by the blood of our Lord, that our sins are completely washed away. God chose for us the very best he had, the blood of His own son.
Amen 12
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The Gay Wedding I
n recent years, the life of many homosexuals has changed for what some call the better. Our community has now secured the right to get married; around me a wave of hysteria swept away most of my friends who rushed to get their short love story secured on paper in front of their ever so jealous friends. I have always refused to go to my straight friends wedding so needless to say that I have mastered in the art of declining most of the gay invitations. I do not doubt that getting “married” under a civil partnership gives an immense sense of security to many gay couples wanting to protect their assets and their partners’ financial security but the mere idea of wanting to recreate a completely failed straight model of normality makes me laugh. After the camp extravagance of gay weddings, we are now witnessing the extremely funny emergence of gay divorce raising the ever so important question of who gets to keep the sling and the toys…well this one will let go of the dog and the house but at least will carry on having fun while the other one will start a depressing new search for the perfect husband. As much as I want to feel happy for the ones who decide that the straight normality is best, I cannot stop feeling scared that what makes our community is disappearing in front of my eyes. I am not convinced that our integration in the world means that we have to live a life based on a straight model. When I understood that I was gay, I understood that I was different from my parents and the rest of the straight world and embraced the freedom of casual sex and multiple partners and a life free of too many responsibilities. by Osito
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A fanzine for complicated homosexuals 15
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Your tombstone stands among the rest; Neglected and alone. The name and date are chiseled out On polished, marbled stone. It reaches out to all who care It is too late to mourn. You did not know that I exist You died and I was born. Dear Ancestor, the place you filled One hundred years ago Spreads out among the ones you left Who would have loved you so. I wonder if you lived and loved, I wonder if you knew That someday I would find this spot.
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The “Nazarenos” are the members of the “cofradías” who participate in the processions for Eastern in the south of Spain. They are also known as the “penitentes” (penitent ones). These are the people you see who are dressed in robes and capes, wearing cone shaped head gear that makes it impossible to know who is behind their disguises. These cone– shaped paraphernalia have symbolic meaning. The cone is supposed to symbolise a sort of rising towards the heavens and therefore this part of the Nazarenes’ dress is designed to bring their penitence closer to the heavens. It is also noted that in the same way, cone shaped shrubs, such as cypress trees, are used in Spanish cemeteries — to symbolically raise the dead towards the heavens.
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A fanzine for complicated homosexuals 28
H o m ophobia or
the Fear of the Unknown
2010 : the year
I realised that after having been out for nearly 15 years my sexuality is still very much a taboo in our developed society.
We have seen ‘Heinz’ pulling out an advert showcasing 2 men kissing (How offending!), registrar in London refusing to perform Civil Partneship, gays around the world being persecuted, complaints from TV viewers after yet another male kiss in ‘EastEnders’, the strong comeback of the iconic camp gay character, the dispearance of the so called normal respectable gay characters, California voting against Gay Partnership, homophobic behaviour in the world of sport and other numerous but subtle homophobic behaviours and comment on TV and in the media. The icing on the cake was the Pope addressing the masses, indirectly comparing homosexuality to the
massacre of the rain forest as well as the temporary refusal by the Vatican to back up worldwide decriminalisation of homosexuality. Merry Xmass to you all! So after 15 years of the queer life, 10 of these spent on liberal London (much more than the Paris I left 10 years ago), I am now questioning the so called acceptance of our difference. One might say that it is all fine, we don’t get killed or imprisoned anymore (at least not in this country), or we can get married and we can have normal jobs… I want to laugh and tell them to open their eyes. I was having this conversation with my Dad the other day, pointing out that I was felling homophobia was slowly creeping back into our day to day life. ‘Come on!’ he said, ‘surely it is fine to be gay nowadays!’ Well it is not according to a vast majority of very influential people. Try the following: Kiss you boyfriend in a public place, by public I do not mean Soho, Le Marais in Paris or The Village in NYC. Try a big shopping centre in Essex, the escalator at rush hour in the tube, the night bus on your way back from Shoreditch, or just kiss your Dad thank you on the cheek after he bought you a cup of coffee and wait for
HOMO
O M HO
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pta nc
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the reaction. group Play football in a so called straight or of any team and out of the blue tell your team specific religious belief but I mate that your boyfriend has landed a believe in respect. deal with ‘Hello’ magazine:Exclusive I have never considered myself as access to your Civil Partnership militant as I have always believed that ceremony… Do you think they would be less noise we make the easier it would happy to come and celebrate and carry be to be accepted. on sharing the showers Well, I have decided to say (excuse my nd wa g a g french), Fuck acceptance! I do not want s with you? e i r r a in l le r m ol lo w to be accepted, I want to be respected. I fo o tb a i e s i n t h e f ). ! t e we b ab s am not a criminal, I am not a pervert, I 5 y e e h v t t ha A r en’ Go to am not a disease, I am a man who has y ea r ( a straight night club and sex with other consentant men and again try to snog your boyfriend on there is nothing wrong with it. Get over the dance floor, I am sure you would it. expose yourself to a number of teasing I wish backwards narrow minded comments, verbal abuse or even physical ignorant people would accept being violence. educated in order to understand that we, Yet this is what we, gay people have to gays, queers, faggots, poofs, sodomites endure on a day to day basis: girls meet or whatever one might want to call us, boys on TV and have sex, boy snogs his are just normal human being with our girlfriend on public transport, footballer qualities, flaws and sometime a love of marries wag and have 5 babies in the glitter! following year (Aren’t they sweet!). Do we not al And, Do we complain? ways fear wha t we do n’ t know ? Wel l Do we shout outrage because this I know the stra world (I was bo ig ht is no what we recognise as our rn and ra ised in it), I understa nd it dream? Do we go around insulting and do not fear it. I am therefore able straight people because they display to respect my fellow hu m an bein gs their affection in public places, do I whatever thei r choices in life m ig ht be consider then as insane and sick .
Acc e
because they want to breed like there is no tomorrow? No, I don’t, and believe me it is not because I don’t have the urge to do so. No, I do not want their life, no, their goals and aspirations are not mine but I have been taught one very important thing: Respect! I am not straight nor of an ethnic
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Therefore I would hope that 2011 will bring more respect to my community and all others in the world, then maybe we might see the end of all types of discrimination.
c By Osito
tHankS
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