QNotes, July 17-30, 2015

July 17-30 . 2015

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July 17-30 . 2015

inside

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qnotes news & features

news. views. Briefs arts.

6 entertainment.

News Notes: Regional 8 News Notes: U.S./World Briefs 12 Charlotte DP benefits revisited

a&e / life&style 8 10 11 11 11 14 14 17 18 19

Young and Positive, Part 4 Artist Lara Nazario Catching up with Gil Croy Local art crawls Bechdel’s work nets Tony Jane’s World Tell Trinity Delighted moves up on ‘AGT’ Q Events Calendar CGBP Gala

opinions & views 4 Editor’s Note 5 Guest Commentary

U.S. Marine Staff Sgt. Eric Alva, an openly gay service member who was the first to be injured in the Iraq War, and Jack Holmes III, an openly gay descendant of George Washington’s family, lead the Pledge of Allegiance.

Photo Credit: Target Cue

July 17-30 . 2015

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editor’s note

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com

Charlotte and Mecklenburg County should keep, expand domestic partner benefits The City of Charlotte and Mecklenburg County are currently discussing whether to keep or rescind domestic partner benefits for same-gender couples. The discussions come now as a result of legal marriage equality in North Carolina and across the country. But the city and county, as well as other municipalities and private companies, would be wise to keep the benefits and expand them to include not only same-gender couples, but also oppositegender couples.

The story was first reported by The Charlotte Observer’s Steve Harrison in early July and reprinted in this issue on page 12.

Harrison asked city and county officials about their plans for the benefits, first enacted in January 2013 after a successful budgetary push by Councilmembers LaWana Mayfield and James “Smuggie” Mitchell.

“It’s being discussed at this time,” city spokesperson Catherine Bonfiglio told Harrison.

Harrison’s story cites several companies — including IBM, one of the first large corporations to offer benefits similar to spousal benefits to unmarried same-gender couples in the mid-1990s — that have since dropped the benefits and required couples to marry. Other companies, like Wells Fargo, have continued to offer the benefits to both same-gender and opposite-gender couples.

The city, county and others should follow Wells Fargo’s lead, for several reasons.

Local LGBT leaders hit upon some of those notes with the Observer.

“It depends on how inclusive they want to be,” said Mecklenburg LGBT Political Action Committee Chair Scott Bishop. “If they want to remain competitive in hiring, they ought to extend domestic partner benefits to unmarried heterosexual couples.”

But the issue is far wider than economic competitiveness, touching on a variety of issues faced by families and couples of all stripes.

As our society has grown and changed, we’ve come to understand that family units are as diverse as the people who inhabit this planet. We know that some couples opt to marry for a variety of reasons, while others forego the legal wedding vows for their own, sometimes very personal, legal or financial considerations.

There’s also an issue of independence and respect in family planning. Many couples might opt to live together for some time with an eye toward marriage, but working in the meantime on advancements in careers or education before feeling secure enough to finally enter into that specific legal contract.

For LGBT couples, we also don’t know exactly how the Supreme Court’s June ruling will play out over the next several years. Will it be adequately enforced by state and local governments? Will some face obstacles — be they legal or familial — in tying the knot? Will others find difficulties once they are legally married?

There are other considerations, too, primarily our growing understanding of how family and household units and relationships actually work in reality. As a society, we’ve placed legal

marriage on a pedestal. But it’s certainly not the end-all, be-all of human relationships. We know that single parents often live with and co-parent with siblings, cousins, their parents or close, longtime family friends. They, too, should have the opportunity to see that their long-established household is adequately protected in healthcare coverage, family leave and other benefits.

Even those who have no children, but have opted to establish a household with longtime, close friends inevitably find their lives intertwined legally and financially. They, too, should have access to an empowering system of benefits that encourages health and stability.

Family and household structures differ dramatically across nations and cultures, across lines of racial, ethnic, sexual and gender diversity and across socioeconomic classes. Marriage, while often a laudable social institution, isn’t always the best or only choice for couples, families or friends.

Employers should acknowledge, recognize and protect the diversity of their employees, their lives and experiences. By doing so, employers would essentially ensure their employees, their families, their children, our neighborhoods and our communities are stronger, more vibrant, more healthy and more active in creating the kinds of societies that flourish when individuals, families and others are empowered to achieve their fullest and best potential.

Some who steadfastly support so-called traditional marriage might balk at my suggestion here. They’ll likely say it undervalues, undercuts or de-emphasizes marriage. But I don’t believe — and I certainly don’t think the reality of our lived experiences reflect — that marriage and only marriage is solely responsible for contributing to longtime stability in families, neighborhoods and communities. Maybe once it did, when women were property and the power in marriage rested solely with men. But not anymore. A look at the divorce rate is just one sign among many of an institution not adequately or inclusively built for all people or all families’ needs.

Others will think my suggestion will carry a high price tag, but we shouldn’t allow financial costs to stand in the way of creating more empowered and healthy — and therefore more productive and happy — people, neighborhoods and communities. In reality, previous expansions of benefits have cost very little. That’s despite claims of skyrocketing healthcare costs from those once opposed to same-gender benefits. In Charlotte, only 17 people had signed up for domestic partner benefits.

If we truly care about creating a safe, healthy city for all our people, the city and county should lead by example. They should do what they can — something as small as an expansion in domestic partner benefits — to further stem the tide of poverty in a metro area ranked at the bottom for economic mobility.

When we recognize, protect and cherish the full diversity of all people and their families and households — including the extension of legal, financial, healthcare and other protections — the result can only be positive. : :

join the discussion We welcome your letters to the editor (200 or words or less) and guest commentaries (600 words or less). Submit them to letters@goqnotes.com.

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July 17-30 . 2015

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guest commentary

by Rob Schofield :: N.C. Policy Watch

Marriage, Obamacare decisions confirm why courts matter so much Photo Credit: UpstateNYer, wiki Wikimedia.

Licensed CC.

Progressives are gratified that the U.S. Supreme Court issued a pair of eminently reasonable decisions recently upholding the right of same-sex couples to marry and dismissing the latest absurd challenge to the Affordable Care Act. Indeed, there have been moments in recent days in which (dare one use the word?) optimism has crept into the hearts of many caring and thinking people as they’ve surveyed the national political and policy landscapes.

As wonderful and hopeinspiring as these decisions are, however, we would all do well to remind ourselves that the forces of reaction are anything but decisively vanquished. After all, both the marriage and redistricting decisions were narrow 5-4 squeakers and while Chief Justice Roberts did, to his credit, author the 6-3 opinion upholding Affordable Care Act subsidies, the vitriol he spewed in criticizing the marriage ruling was quite enough to remind us of what kind of man it is that presides over the Court.

That fact was brought home in spades as the Court concluded its term with two disheartening 5-4 opinions upholding the right of the state of Oklahoma to, in effect, torture convicted murderers to death and striking down a modest attempt by the Environmental Protection Agency to save human lives from toxic air pollution because the agency allegedly failed to give adequate weight to the costs that doing so would impose on corporate polluters.

As they have so often in recent years, many basic American rights and political fundamentals remain, for all practical purposes, in the hands of Justice Anthony Kennedy — an elderly, one-time Ronald Reagan crony who, in his 28th year on the Court, occasionally breaks with his fellow conservatives to side with its moderate-to-liberal wing.

What’s more, the prospect for significant improvement in the Court’s makeup seems hard to envision any time soon. Though Kennedy (who will be 79 next month), Ginsburg (82), Antonin Scalia (79) and Stephen Breyer (77 in August) are all getting up there in age, filling any of their slots

with a quality replacement would not be easy.

Not only is the President soon to be a lame duck, but Republican leaders in the U.S. Senate have been setting new standards for obstructionism when it comes to Obama nominees over the last six years. In the history of the United States, 168 federal courts nominees have been filibustered. Of that number, amazingly, 82 have occurred under President Obama.

A classic example, sadly, can be found right here in North Carolina where Sen. Richard Burr has successfully pulled off a solo, unexplained filibuster of the President’s efforts to fill the oldest federal court vacancy in the country.

It’s gotten so out of hand at this point that the White House appears — for all intents and purposes — to have simply given up even trying to fill the vacancy in the Federal District Court for the state’s Eastern District despite the fact that the people of the district are now going on a decade without their full complement of judges.

The bottom line going forward, of course, is that this has got to change. If the nation is to avoid a judicial blockade of the kind of policies that figure to be in the offing in the coming decades given the nation’s increasingly diverse and open-minded population, progressives must band together and speak up much more passionately and regularly about who serves on the federal courts (and the state courts too).

Moreover, this means a lot more than simply riling up the troops every five or six years for a Supreme Court nomination fight. Sure, the battle over who serves on the U.S. Supreme Court is and will continue to be critical and will no doubt be a key issue in the 2016 presidential election. As the recent decisions confirm, many of our most important rights hang by a thread. That said, progressives must begin to make the composition of the judiciary at every level a core priority in every federal election.

After all, the nine justices of the Supreme Court decide a handful of cases each year while the 900 judges who comprise the rest of the federal judiciary decide thousands.

Let’s hope the recent narrow decisions serve as a wake-up call to all progressives to become regularly engaged in helping to determine who those justices and judges are at all levels. : : — Rob Schofield is the director of research and policy development at N.C. Policy Watch (ncpolicywatch.com).

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qnotes connect July 17-30, 2015 Vol 30 No 06

arts. entertainment. news. views. goqnotes.com twitter.com/qnotescarolinas facebook.com/qnotescarolinas

contributors this issue

Paige Braddock, Matt Comer, Norena Gutierrez, Trevion Gutierrez, Steve Harrison, Lainey Millen, Rob Schofield, Trinity

front page

Graphic Design by Matt Comer & Lainey Millen Photography : Mike Anderson Mission:

The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBT and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBT life and social justice issues.

Pride Publishing & Typesetting, Inc., dba QNotes P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222 ph 704.531.9988 fx 704.531.1361 Publisher: Jim Yarbrough Sales: x201 adsales@goqnotes.com Nat’l Sales: Rivendell Media, ph 212.242.6863 Editor: Matt Comer, x202 editor@goqnotes.com Production: Lainey Millen, x205 production@goqnotes.com Printed on recycled paper.

Material in qnotes is copyrighted by Pride Publishing & Typesetting © 2015 and may not be reproduced in any manner without written consent of the editor or publisher. Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyond offering to run a correction. Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorial notations and are determined by editorial staff. The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.

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upcoming issues: 07.31.15: Charlotte Pride Preview Advertising Space Deadline: July 22 08.14.15: InFocus: Charlotte Advertising Space Deadline: Aug. 5

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news notes: carolinas compiled by Lainey Millen & Matt Comer

Pastor pens memoir CHARLOTTE — Holy Trinity Lutheran Church’s Pastor Nancy Kraft has released her new spiritual memoir, “Threads: Pulling Meaning from the Tangled Mess.”

More than simply recounting events from her past, Kraft pulls meaning from her experiences all within the context of her relationship with God, often drawing from the biblical story to “inform her own story.”

Kraft is an ordained pastor of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. In 2014, she was a plaintiff in the legal case that brought marriage equality to same-sex couples in North Carolina.

That same year she was honored by Charlotte Pride as their Outstanding Ally.

She is a self-proclaimed “meaning-maker” who is always sifting through the tangled mess of her life to find threads of understanding. That tangled mess includes the trauma of viewing her father’s corpse when she was six years old, a disastrous marriage to a bigamist and pastoring a congregation committed to supporting LGBT individuals in the buckle of the Bible Belt.

“Threads” follows Kraft as she struggles through her sometimes naïve mistakes and learns the power of forgiving herself, embracing community, and choosing to love instead of judge. Tackling topics like homophobia, racism, and atheism, the book paints a grace-drenched portrait of what it means to be authentically human as it inspires readers to examine their own life stories for the deeper meaning they hold.

The book is available in softcover at $12.99 and on Kindle at $7.99 on amazon.com. info: nancykraft.com.

— L.M.

Charlotte TOY camps out, locks in

CHARLOTTE — Time Out Youth Center, 2320 N. Davidson St., will host CampOUT! from July 27-31.

Space is at a premium and fills up quickly, so those who wish to attend should complete an application quickly and return it to O’Neale Atkinson, director of youth programs, at oatkinston@timeoutyouth.org.

The event will culminate with Lock-In from 9 p.m. on July 31 through 9 a.m. on Aug. 1. Those who wish to attend this portion must have a signed permission slip. Only 25 spots are available. info: timeoutyouth.org.

— L.M.

Coastal Pride hits coast

NAGS HEAD — OBX Pridefest will be held from Sept. 18-20 at First Colony Inn, 6720 S. Virginia Dare Tr., encompassing a full weekend of activities with daytime family-friendly events.

Weekend passes are available for $100 and individual events are available on an a la carte basis as detailed below. Visit the website to make purchases.

On Sept. 18, festivities open with beach time at Jennette’s Pier, 7223 S. Virginia Dare Tr., at 1 p.m.

That evening at 7:30 p.m., enjoy the New York touring show “Pirates of Penzance” at First Flight High School, 100 Veterans Dr., Kill Devil Hills. Tickets are $25.

For those who want to keep the party going, head out to see Sterling Maxwell’s Kings & Queens of Burlesque and Boylesque at Pamlico Jack’s, 6708 S Croatan Hwy., at 10 p.m. Tickets are $15. DJ Sek Z Dance Party will provide entertainment at midnight for free for guy and girl dancers.

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July 17-30 . 2015

On Sept. 19, 12-6 p.m., the 5th Annual Outer Banks Gay Pride Festival will be held at the First Colony Inn. Bands include Humble Tripe, Chris Mcauley, Dharc Wine, Someone’s Sister, the Gay Men’s Chorus of Charlotte and more. The event is free.

Set out on the harbor for a two-hour excursion from Pirate’s Cove Marina, 2000 Sailfish Dr., Manteo, at 6 p.m., with a Sunset Booze Cruise. Tickets are $35. Participants are treated to a free open bar, onboard entertainment by the GoGo Boys and DJ Amy Alderman, as well as local historical and wildlife sites.

Delighted Tobehere will present her OneWoman Musical Comedy Show at 10 p.m. at Pamlico Jack’s. Following up at 11 p.m. will be the Pride & Joy Drag Show with Jamie Monroe, Veruca Assault, Kassandra Hylton, Lola Lovelace and Amore Diamone. Tickets are $20.

Finish off the day’s festivities with a dance party at 12:30 a.m. with DJ Amy Alderman.

A drag brunch will be held at 11 a.m. on Sept. 20 at the Hilton Pier House, 5353 N. Virginia Dare T., Kitty Hawk. Tickets are $25.

The first same-sex Weddings with Pride Outer Banks Expo will follow at 1 p.m. for couples who want to get tips for and help in planning their nuptials. Over 30 vendors, including caterers, coordinators, officiants, photographers and other professionals who identify as being gay owned, gay friendly and have experience with same-sex weddings, will be on hand to guide couples with the wedding planning process. The event is produced by Weddings with Pride, owned by Eric Hause and headquartered in Norfolk, Va. It serves North Carolina, Virginia and the Maryland/Delaware eastern shore. Expo vendors are vetted to ensure that they “embrace marriage equality,” Hause shared. It is co-sponsored by the Hilton Garden Inn Outer Banks and OBX Pridefest.

Afterward, enjoy a Backyard Bands & Brews at 3 p.m. at the Outer Banks Brewing Station, 600 S. Croatan Hwy., Kill Devil Hills.

The OBX Pridefest comes to a close at 10 p.m. with Jamie Monroe’s Pridefest Wrap Party and Dance Club at Kelly’s Restaurant & Tavern.

Tickets are $5.

OBX Pride is also seeking vendors, volunteers and sponsorships. Visit the website to learn more. info/tickets: obxpridefest.com. facebook.com/obxpridefest. weddingswithpridenc.com.

— L.M.

Flag creates beach buzz

CAROLINA BEACH — WECT-TV reported on July 8 that lifeguard Zach Hupp flew a rainbow flag from his guard stand to show support for the LGBT community on July 4th. Immediately complaints began and it was assumed that Hupp would only rescue “gay people.” Hupp only wanted “everyone to feel accepted and safe,” the station added. Hupp is straight.

“I feel like with that flag, I would hope that everyone would feel welcome to come down to the beach, especially near Freeman Park which is filled with other flags that may turn some people away,” Hupp shared with WECT. Now, the town policy is under change with regard to beach flag posting. Flags that are posted on lifeguard stations are ones that alert beach goers about surf conditions and other safety issues. Since the beach falls within the town’s jurisdiction, public servants who are assigned to that area or any area are to perform their duties on an unbiased fashion, Fire Chief Alan Griffin said.

A warning was given to Hupp. Had he known that there would have been “such a reaction,” he would have chosen not to display the flag. Subsequently, Carolina Beach will makes its policy on stand flag flying more specified to avoid this kind of issue for the future.

Online comments about the incident were lively and showcased the diversity of those within the community. info: wect.com.

— L.M.

RUM bestows awards

WILMINGTON — Reconciling United Methodists of North Carolina, a part of The Reconciling Ministries Network, held its Second Annual Gayle Felton Love Thy Neighbor luncheon and worship service on June 12.

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Eastern Pride events announced

FAYETTEVILLE — Southern Pride will be held Aug. 14-16. Formerly known until Jan. 1 as United Fayetteville Pride, this is the fourth annual celebration for the city. Included in the activities are those involving education, networking and family fun.

This year TG1/Starr Brooks Ent. and Alvernian Rafeek Events present the festivities that begin on Aug. 14 with The Big, Bold & Beautiful Party beginning at 10 p.m. and continuing until 4 a.m. at Fanatics Sports Bar, 4939 Bragg Blvd. Music beats will be provided by @VJPumpdabeat. A show featuring drag performers, plus sexy exotic dancers will be part of the party scene. Admission is $10. Promoters said that it’s and “18 to dip, 21 to sip” affair.

On Aug. 15, party all night during The Big Bang Theory Ball at the Retired Military Association Hall, 120 Elizabethtown Rd. Doors will be open from 5 p.m.-2 a.m. Admission is $15 before 9 p.m. and $25 afterward. Music will be provided by VJ Pumpdabeat. Bigboy Lloyd Rockthamic and Trebre Blahnik are slated to be Masters of the Mic. An appreciation picnic takes place on Aug. 16, 12 p.m., at Rowan Park, 725 W. Rowan St. Attendees can enjoy volleyball, kickball, games, spades, free food and music.

The festivities come to a close that evening during The White Party at Zero Degreez Nite Club, 4350 Cumberland Rd. Doors open at 9 p.m. and close at 3 a.m. Music will be provided

by DJ Latenight. Admission is $10/all night in white, $15/all night and $20/VIP. Host hotel is the Suburban Extended Stay, 3719 Bragg Blvd. Room rates are single/$25 and double/$25. Group code is Southern Pride. Call 910-487-9000 to make reservations.

The organization was started by Alvernian Davis and Benjamin and is run by a board of directors, with hopes of filing for their non-profit status by next year. Its purpose is to increase access to health and wellness-related services, improve relations between the LGBT and straight communities, as well as increase safe spaces for youth by providing mentorship and ongoing support for those experiencing crisis, such as HIV/AIDS, housing and employment.

Sponsorships and contributors are currently being sought. info: legendofprestige@aol.com.

Armon Brooks, 910-273-6590. Alvernian Rafeek, 910-214-8953.

— L.M.

Triad Potluck upcoming Rev. Bill Braswell and Rev. Lauri Hays-Coffman

It’s Executive Director Matt Berryman served as keynote speaker, sharing his experience coming out as a gay United Methodist Church pastor.

The Gayle Felton Drum Major for Justice Award was presented to Rev. Laurie HaysCoffman by Rev. Alan Felton, son of Gayle Felton. Hays-Coffman is secretary of the Methodist Federation for Social Action and is a graduate of the Duke Divinity school.

Rev. Bill Braswell received the Jimmy Creech Award. He has been a proponent for LGBT inclusion within the Methodist church. info: rum-nc.org.

— L.M.

WINSTON-SALEM — The North Star LGBT Community Center, 930 Burke St., will host Potluck with a Purpose on July 18 at 1:30 p.m.

Speaker will be board member Liam Hooper, M. Div., who will explore Trans* issues and how to be a better Trans* ally.

Hooper is a local trans advocate/activist and educator, primarily, and a LGBT activist/ advocate. He also works actively with faith communities to increase spiritual accessibility and acceptance for LGBT persons.

Attendees are asked to bring a side dish to share. info: northstarlgbtcc.com.

— L.M.

Foundation makes first hire

WINSTON-SALEM — The Adam Foundation has announced that it has hired its first employ-

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ee, Jasmine Gregory, to serve at its social media and foundation development assistant.

The Charlottesville, Va., native has extensive experience in social media marketing, website development, non-profit organizations, strategic planning and fundraising.

She received her B.A. from Elon University in Strategic Communications and plans to begin law school this fall at Wake Forest University.

Her previous positions were with United Way of Greater Greensboro and Habit for Humanity of Greater Greensboro. info: adamfoundation.org.

— L.M.

even welcomes those from Alexander, Burke, Caldwell and Lincoln Counties.

From its ranks, young people have been able to foster friendships, taking all the skills learned on to their collegiate careers. They have actively participated in ASPYRE Leadership camps, ALFA Hike for Hope and Youth Lobby Day in the state’s capital. Fun was had as well, such as at alternative proms and road trip adventures.

OUTright Youth has given back to the community by presenting diversity training at schools in the area, providing assistance to those who wish to set up GSAs, hosting bullying prevention events. info: youthoutrightcv.org.

— L.M.

Campus Scene Camp options available

CHARLOTTE — Campus Pride’s Camp Pride 2015 is underway and the community is invited to participate at any number of programs throughout the session which began on July 14 and continues through to July 19.

Held in cooperation between the University of North Carolina-Charlotte, Johnson C. Smith University and Campus Pride, the Summer Leadership Academy is free and open to the public.

On July 17, speaker Mara Keisling, executive director of the National Center for Transgender Equality, will share her thoughts at 7 p.m. The fol-

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lowing afternoon, Jamie Washington, president and founder of the Washington Consulting Group, will speak at 2:30 p.m. That evening at 7 p.m., the Campus Pride Awards Reception and Graduation Ceremony will take place. All of these programs are located at the Cone Center, McKnight Auditorium 320, UNC-C, 9201 University Blvd.

On July 19, Shane Windmeyer, author and executive director of Campus Pride, will close out the event at 10 a.m., in the Cone Center, Lucas Room 341.

Earlier in the week, participants were treated to a concerts, presentations, a Day of Action for Trans Justice and community potluck. info: campuspride.org.

— L.M.

Grant season launched

GREENSBORO — The Guilford Green Foundation has opened it 2015 grant application season for prospective grant seekers.

Applicants can obtain the grant application online. Deadline for submittal is Aug. 10.

Application review will take place between August and September, with board approval on Sept. 14. Grants will be awarded later in the year, no later than Dec. 1. Only those organizations with a 501(c)(3) non-profit status will be accepted. Operation must take place within the counties of Alamance, Davidson, Forsyth, Guilford, Randolph and Rockingham. Additionally, there must be an LGBT component or service to the LGBT community capacity to be considered.

Applicants must not have defaulted on a previously granted foundation project grant.

Further details are available online. info: ggfnc.org.

— L.M.

Triangle Printer hails marriage ruling

CHAPEL HILL — The Daily Tar Heel reported after the recent Supreme Court decision legalizing same-sex marriage across the U.S., that its printer, Triangle Web Printing owner Al Thorn said, “It’s nice to be be seen equal in the eyes of the law,” sharing that “March 6” was engraved into his wedding ring — the date he and his husband eloped.

Thorn added that after North Carolina’s marriage equality was achieved last year, he heard that there were rumblings of a religious exemptions bill stirring. “‘We thought, ‘Gosh, what if something really bad happens? We’ll go ahead and get married while we can. It was nice to have it all affirmed,’” Thorn said.

Unfortunately, Thorn’s fears came to life in the form of a law that passed both legislative houses and was put into law, even with Gov. Pat McCrory’s attempted veto.

Triangle Web Printing is also the printer for qnotes. info: dailytarheel.com.

— L.M.

Western Org reaches milestone

HICKORY — OUTright Youth has announced that it is celebrating its fifth anniversary serving LGBT youth and their allies in the Catawba Valley.

Over the years, it has held weekly meetings and social activities to support those it serves, while assisting in leadership development, along with confidence building. It now

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life

Young and Positive: A Son’s and Mother’s Journey, Part 4 Miracle on the Ninth Floor / The Blessed Mother Delivers

by Trevion and Norena Gutierrez :: special to qnotes [Ed. Note — qnotes continues with this fourth installment of this special series by mother and son, Norena Gutierrez and Trevion Gutierrez. We’ll also be publishing upcoming installments in our next issue on July 31 and in our Aug. 14 issue out on stands for the Charlotte Pride Festival and Parade. Be sure to catch up on all past installments online at goqnotes.com/youngpoz/.]

Trevion: Miracle on The Ninth floor Two weeks went by, and I was thrilled to be feeling better. I could get up without the nurse’s help. The nausea and vomiting was finally over. I started to wander the ninth floor of Levine Children’s Hospital and rebuild my muscle. I was becoming — day by day — happier. I think, but I wasn’t sure.

Then the Palliative Care team came to see me and my mom. The doctor said he had some great news, and that we would all be smiling.

Together we learned about viral loads and CD4 counts. When I was diagnosed with HIV, my viral load was 8 million parts and my CD4 was 230. The viral load means how much virus is in my body and the CD4 is a measure of how strong my immune system is. In just two weeks of treatment, my viral load was now 1,045. My mom wept. I was dancing! My CD4 count was now 576.

What I didn’t understand is that a CD4 of 200 is considered AIDS. This is when your immune system is really failing and anything can go wrong. Most normal immune systems are CD4s of 700 and above. I realized in those moments — just two weeks prior, I had been on the doorstep of death.

My confidence level went through the roof. Mom and I call this “The Miracle on the Ninth Floor.” I was going to live! I was going to be on the road to being “undetectable” (which is a viral load of 20 or below). The Palliative Care team were about to come visit and my mom asked me, “Who is Palliative Care team again, and what do they do?” I told her, “They are the ‘In case you die’ team.” The weirdest meeting I had with them was on what kind of a funeral I wanted. I told them I wanted my ashes see Young and Positive/Trevion on 16

Norena: The Blessed Mother Delivers I reach out to the Power House Project on Beatties Ford Rd. as the Palliative Care team suggests. I meet George and Jermaine, two black gay men who are part of the counseling staff there. I ask about me getting tested. They confirm that the only way to get HIV is through sexual transmission. I ask how long would it take for me to get tested and how much does it cost. I remembered it was a two-week turnaround time and a good $150 for the test in the early ‘90s. I have never been tested before.

George says it is only “10.” I confirm, “10 days to get the results and 10 dollars for the test?” He laughs, “No, 10 minutes to get the results and no cost — it’s free!”

Ten minutes later, I find out I am HIV-negative. As George and I talk through those long 10 minutes of waiting for the results, I thought of all the times in my life that I had not had “safe sex.” I could have HIV — it only takes one time. Jermaine tells me I am considered a “High Risk Negative.” That wasn’t registering with me. What? I have partners but I know them and we have “personal relationships.” We date, we get to know each other, we have the “talk,” and we mostly use condoms, sometimes not. I ask Jermaine to really profile and describe a “High Risk Negative.” I was thinking New York City call-girl, hooker on the East side, something like that. He kindly looks at me and says, “You.” Armed with new information, several ugly cries out of the way, no job and an HIV-positive son, I see Young and Positive/Norena on 16

news notes: u.s./world.

Fourth of July, 50th anniversary of gay protests commemorated

U.S. Marine Staff Sgt. Eric Alva, an openly gay service member who was the first to be injured in the Iraq War, and Jack Holmes III, an openly gay descendant of George Washington’s family, lead the Pledge of Allegiance.

Photo Credit: Target Cue

PHILADELPHIA — LGBT community members and leaders across the nation gathered at the birthplace of the nation on Independence Day to commemorate America’s iconic national holiday and the 50th anniversary of the first public protests for gay equality.

The gathering, hailed as a celebration of the 50th anniversary of the beginning of the LGBT civil rights movement, marked the 1965 protests organized by Mattachine Society leader Frank Kameny and Daughters of Bilitis leader Barbara Gittings. The protest was the first public protest for gay equality and continued each year until 1969, becoming known as the “Annual Reminder.”

The National Park Service allowed organizers of the commemoration to hold the celebration in front of Independence Hall, where a large replica of the Declaration of Independence and a statue of Thomas Jefferson was stationed behind the stage.

Speakers at the event included a wide variety of community leaders and celebrities,

including comedian Wanda Sykes and Jim Obergefell, a lead plaintiff in the recent landmark U.S. Supreme Court decision opening marriage to all couples across the country.

The events were opened by the Pledge of Allegiance led by U.S. Marine Staff Sgt. Eric Alva, an openly gay service member who was the first to be injured in the Iraq War, and Jack Holmes III, an openly gay descendant of George Washington’s family. Other appearances included Edie Windsor, the plaintiff in a 2013 Supreme Court case that opened federal recognition of same-gender marriage, as well as Judy and Dennis Shepard, former Episcopal Bishop Gene Robinson and Walter Neagle, the longtime partner of openly gay Civil Rights Movement activist Bayard Rustin.

The first Annual Reminder march was reenacted during the event, with 40 people marching with replica protest signs in front of Independence Hall. : : — M.C.

QUICK HITS ——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— Baylor University, the largest Southern Baptist college in the world, quietly removed specific mention of “homosexual acts” from its student conduct policy in early July. They had earlier been listed alongside acts like adultery, fornication, incest and sexual abuse. The new policy specifies that “physical sexual intimacy is to be expressed in the context of marital fidelity.” more: bit.ly/1frS6vD An Oregon bakery that had refused to serve a same-gender couple planning a wedding, and later released that couple’s contact information on the internet, has been ordered to pay $135,000 in damages to the couple. A 2007 Oregon law prohibits discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity in employment, housing and public accommodations. more: bit.ly/1IN1Yv6

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The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has for the first time donated to an LGBT organization. The Mormon Church donated $2,500 to Salt Lake City’s Utah Pride Center in support of the organization’s program assisting homeless and low-income youth. more: bit.ly/1MiLgml The U.S. Episcopalian Church voted July 1 to allow religious weddings for same-gender couples. The new national rule replaces a former regulation that allowed individual diocesan bishops the discretion on whether to allow religious services for LGBT couples’ weddings. The vote was 129-26 with five abstaining in the church’s House of Bishops at their General Convention held in Salt Lake City. more: bit.ly/1RmKhs0

July 17-30 . 2015

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life

Finding meaning and identity through the gift of art and music Local transgender artist Lara Nazario makes unique guitars and comic series on transition

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com

❝ I was going through a lot of stuff internally and there was a lot of internal struggle I just needed to let out and even perhaps help other people. I made the web comic based on that — the struggle of becoming a new person. ❞ — Lara Nazario

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Photo Credit: Mike Anderson

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ll Lara Nazario wanted was a guitar. A Telecaster or Jazzmaster she says.

“They were just out of my price range,” she says. “So, I decided to just make one.”

She found wood used for a table top, researched guitar-making online, worked the wood and made sure it was the right shape and thickness.

“The result was this amazing guitar, a mix between a Jazzmaster and Telecaster, all out of a table top,” she recounts.

That was two and a half years ago. Nazario has built several since, each coming in handy for when she plays around town and does spoken word.

Nazario, 30, has been in Charlotte for about four years now, landing here after a childhood and lifetime of travel. Born in California, she grew up bouncing from place to place; her father was in the U.S. Marine Corp. But it was on a field trip as a youth when she first visited Charlotte. She was smitten with the city and finally moved here in her 20s.

“I love it so much. Why not just live in Charlotte?” she says. “I haven’t left yet.”

Charlotte has become a home to Nazario after years of struggle and self discovery. She began transitioning two years ago, after becoming comfortable in her new hometown. Her transition marked a significant life change.

“I was 215 pounds and an MMA fighter,” she says. “Obviously, that really wasn’t me.”

Nazario had begun MMA fighting as an outlet for her feelings, similar now to the way she uses her art. Before her transition, Nazario said she felt angry. She had to let it out. MMA fighting was the cure.

“I figured MMA was the only to let out all this aggression,” she relates. “I started doing it and was a natural and got really good at it.”

But the fighting didn’t help her internal struggle. Her partner at the time noticed she was depressed. One day, they asked why.

“Finally, I just admitted it,” Nazario says.

She’s an entirely different person now — a “new body” and “regenerated into a new person,” she says. “Everything looks and smells and tastes differently,” she adds.

And she’s left MMA fighting behind, though she still misses what she calls the “chess match.”

“It’s between you and your opponent,” she explains. “You’re the same size and weight class and have the same skills, but you have to find a way to defeat this person. You have to use more intelligence than muscle.”

That same brain power used to become an MMA champ helped her turn her art into an meaningful personal outlet, helping her through her transition.

In addition to her penchant for music, Nazario’s always had a broad artistic side. As she moved through her transition she turned to drawing — creating a comic series — to help her cope and share her story. The series was called “One Body for a Lifetime,” and told the story of a transitioning character who preferred to be called human instead of any gender.

“It really resonated with me for a while,” she says. “I was going see next page u through a lot of stuff internally and there was a lot of internal struggle I

goqnotes.com/to/life

Catching up with Gil Croy Former Charlotte artist now living in Raleigh

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com

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rtist and community organizer Gil Croy gave his creative heart and soul to Charlotte’s LGBT community. He volunteered with several organizations and his often interactive artwork always inspired both those who participated and viewers alike. If you never met Croy, you’ve likely seen his work, splashed on the side of White Rabbit on the highly trafficked Central Ave. thoroughfare or his fantastically decorated float for the One World Dragon Boat float in last year’s Bank of America Charlotte Pride Parade. The LGBT- and Pride-themed mural was created in the summer of 2012, just in time for visitors from across the nation and world to see it when the Democratic National Convention came rolling into town that September.

We took a few minutes to catch up with Croy, who now lives in Raleigh, to see what he’s up to today and reflect on a bit of his work in Charlotte.

Matt Comer: It’s been three years since you came up with the concept and painted the mural at White Rabbit. What has the feedback been like over the past few years?

Gil Croy: Feedback, even when we were doing mural, was fantastic. People loved the color and then exploration of our community, Jim [Yarbrough, owner of White Rabbit] was so great for allowing this to happen.

What kind of projects did you enjoy after the mural?

I have pursued others in Ft. Lauderdale and Miami, plus working on other areas, six colors of pride is my pursuit.

I heard a lot about your Dragon Boat Charlotte Pride float theme. That was really fun! What was designing, building and costuming the float and its participants like?

Denise Bauer was so instrumental in the float. She helped during the mural and decided to pursue a larger LGBT presence in sports, especially in the dragon boat raises.

She is such an inspiration. She has a vision for equality that I love.

When did you move up to Raleigh, what took you there and what kind of projects are you working on now?

I moved to Raleigh in February and did it for design work. I am working on several shows with the LGBT center here and still working on graphics that promote our community thru 6colordesign.com. : :

just needed to let out and even perhaps help other people. I made the web comic based on that — the struggle of becoming a new person.”

Art, more than just a personal outlet, was also a means to share her newly reconstituted identity with family and friends.

“I would invite family members to visit the web comic and read it,” she says of her coming out experience.

“I would let them gather their own opinions about it and hear what they thought. And then I would tell them it was my story. I felt like if they had taken the time to read the comic, then it was worth telling them what was going on. Whoever took the time, I came out to them.”

Nazario, who also identifies as pansexual, says her interest in art stemmed from her childhood.

“When I was y=ounger, I’d grab notebook paper and make comics out of that and pass them along to people,” she says. “That all evolved into watercolor paints and digital paints.”

Nazario has been able to take her art and her music public.

She’s not letting the custom-crafted guitars go unused either. She performs regularly around Charlotte and has begun the process of making her unique instruments for other people. You can also find her teaching guitar lessons at NoDa’s Salvaged Beauty.

Her comic series with the transgender character was online for a while. She says she often heard from fans who found it resonated with them, too. She’s currently planning on putting many of her old comics back online as she’s working on a new series she hopes this time to publish it in book form.

For Nazario, her personal, meaningful art has also helped connect her to a wider world of friends and supporters.

“I still have friends I met through the comics, just because they liked the comics,” she says.

Just as art is supposed to do. : : — Learn more about Lara Nazario at laraamerico.com.

life

Area Art and Neighborhood Crawls •••••• South End Usually held in the spring and summer. Catch some of the best local art, eats, music and more as you stroll through Historic South End. You’ll find diverse works including local artisans, mosaics, boutiques and more.

You can wrap your night with an accompanying Food Truck Friday or grab a drink at the South End Common Market. If you’re wanting some nightlife fun, check out the nearby Bar at 316 or Cathode Azure. Learn more at historicsouthend.com/play/gallery-crawl/.

•••••• NoDa Held on the first and third Fridays of every month. NoDa is home to two dozen art markets, tattoo parlors, photography studios, galleries and more, an eclectic mix of everything that keeps the neighborhood cool.

While you’re out and about, stop in one of the many area restaurants and bars for a refreshment or two. Learn more at noda.org/art.html.

•••••• Plaza Midwood Coming to the famed, funky shopping and entertainment district this September each second Saturday of the Month. Plaza Midwood is home to unique clothing boutiques, antique shops and a blossoming art community. Stop in at local dives like the Diamond or Dish, many of which feature local artists’ works adorned on their walls. Grab a drink or a late-night show at LGBT and LGBT-friendly nightspots like Petra’s or Snug Harbor.

Keep up to date on the newly planned event at facebook.com/pmartcrawl.

Cartoonist’s adaptation nets Tony Alison Bechdel was former qnotes contributor

by Lainey Millen :: lainey@goqnotes.com

Alison Bechdel’s “Fun Home” was the recipient of a recent Tony Award and was adapted into a musical from her graphic memoir of the same name.

A former cartoonist for qnotes whose “Dykes to Watch Out For” graced its pages for a number of years, was on hand for the awards’ ceremony and was on stage with the cast, producers and directors when it received Best Musical.

The story tells the tale of Bechdel’s childhood in rural Pennsylvania. At its center is her relationship with her father and themes surrounding family dysfunction, abuse, suicide, gender and sexual orientation.

It received numerous book award nominations and was on The New York Times Best Seller list. And, it was a finalist for the 2014 Pulitzer Prize for Drama. It netted an Obie Award in musical theatre.

The musical has been considered the first mainstream young lesbian musical. : : [Ed. Note: qnotes wishes to extend our congratulations to Alison Bechdel for her groundbreaking accomplishments and her incredible accomplishments. To learn more about the musical, visit funhomebroadway.com.]

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news

Charlotte may rescind benefits for unmarried same-sex partners City reviews benefits policy now that same-sex marriage is legal

by Steve Harrison :: sharrison@charlotteobserver.com

CHARLOTTE — The city of Charlotte may rescind benefits for same-sex unmarried partners, now that gay marriage has been legal in North Carolina for nine months and is allowed nationwide.

Charlotte first offered benefits to same-sex partners in January 2013. But the city could follow the lead of some private companies in removing those benefits if couples are not married. The city does not offer benefits to the partners of unmarried, opposite-sex partners.

The city’s benefits run on a calendar year, and employees will be choosing enrollment packages in the fall. Any change would be made by then, the city said.

“It’s being discussed at this time,” said city spokeswoman Catherine Bonfliglio.

IBM, for instance, was one of the first large U.S. companies to offer benefits to same-sex partners in the mid-1990s. But as gay marriage became legal in more states, the technology company required gay and lesbian employees to be married in states where they could, if they wanted a partner to receive benefits, according to The New York Times.

Verizon has taken similar steps, according to news reports.

The City of Charlotte’s nearly three-year-old policy of offering same-sex benefits is not a budgetbuster. The city said it estimates 17 people have some form of same-sex benefits for their partners.

Scott Bishop of MeckPAC, a lobbying group for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender issues, said he thinks the city should offer benefits to domestic partners of both same-sex and opposite-sex partners.

“It depends on how inclusive they want to be,” he said. “If they want to remain competitive in hiring, they ought to extend domestic partner benefits to unmarried heterosexual couples.”

Bishop said great strides have been made in gay rights, but it’s possible some gay and lesbian employees might still have not come out to their friends or family. Having to marry so a partner can receive benefits could be a difficult decision, he said.

Chris Sgro, executive director of Equality NC, said municipalities and businesses should

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keep their policies in place for same-sex employees while assessing the impact of the recent U.S. Supreme Court ruling that gay marriage is legal nationwide.

“The best course of action would be to offer those partner benefits and see what the full impact of the ruling is,” he said.

Mecklenburg County, which has offered benefits to unmarried same-sex partners since 2009, is studying whether to continue those benefits, a spokesperson said.

Some organizations won’t be affected because they already offered benefits to unmarried partners, regardless of their sexual orientation.

Wells Fargo allows eligible employees to enroll a spouse or domestic partner – regardless of gender – for benefits. That will not change, a representative said on July 9.

Queens University of Charlotte has offered benefits to domestic partners of gay and lesbian employees since 2007.

At that time, employees submitted an affidavit that declared their domestic partnership. The university recently opened up those benefits to all domestic partners.

Cathy Graham, director of benefit services for the Employers Association, a Charlottebased group that provides training and human resources services to 900 companies, said she expects more companies and municipalities that offer domestic partner benefits regardless of sexual orientation to keep existing policies.

But she said she expects organizations that only offer the benefits to same-sex partners to either rescind those benefits or offer them to all employees.

“The dust is still settling right now,” she said. “But I do think it’s a trend we’ll see going forward.” : : — Originally published by The Charlotte Observer on July 9, 2015. Reprinted with permission. qnotes is a member of the Observer’s Charlotte News Alliance.

Read editor Matt Comer’s take on marriage, local domestic partner benefits and his tips for moving forward on page 4.

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July 17-30 . 2015

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tell trinity

by Trinity :: qnotes contributor :: trinity@telltrinity.com

Sex, dancing, being silly and…spirituality Dearest Trinity, I’m searching for a deeper, spiritual meaning in life. I need to understand life, not just live it! I need more meaning. What do you think?

Searching, Louisville, KY Dearest Searching, If you’re looking for a deeper meaning in life, then you’re already on the “path of spirituality.”

Spirituality takes practice, patience and a helping H.A.N.D. In other words, H. means have faith in your intuition or “gut feeling.” A. means acknowledge the good especially in the bad. N. means notice the beauty in things you don’t usually notice. And D. means detach yourself from unhealthy needs and desires. But,

sweetie, don’t forget to enjoy sex, dancing and being overly fabulous whenever the spirit takes you. Spirituality also means being silly and having fun. Good Luck.

Hey Trinity, I can’t stand my lover anymore, but she won’t let me break up and move out. I feel like I’m trapped in her house and in her life. My only alternative is to run away. Any suggestions!

Running ASAP, Des Moines, IA Hey Running ASAP, If after you’ve tried to really work it out together and still nothing works, then listen up! Running away should not be done on the spur of the

moment, without financial backing, without a safe place to go or a clean legal record. Running away should be well planned during a safe time with your debts paid. Always leave a note behind.

Remember, honey, your problems come with you, so runaway smart and you’ll end up in a smarter place! (I’ve got just the plan when you take a look at how I’d do it when you check out my cartoon.)

Dear Trinity, I went with a date to a party and everything was going great until I started having a good time. Then my date wouldn’t let me go off on my own the whole night. Shouldn’t I be able to have a good time?

Party Date, Grand Rapids, MI Dear Party Date, When you’re with a date at a party a) don’t forget to stay completely interested in your date, not the party, b) make friends, but stay away from making your date jealous, c) don’t get too drunk or become too much work and d) a date is never time to go off on your own. Next time, pumpkin, do something more romantic, like a movie, at least for the first few dates.

Hello Trinity, I’m filing for divorce even though my religion is dead against it. What do you think the sins of divorce are and what are the benefits?

Divorce Doctrine, Olympia, WA Hello D.D., Now I know I wrote something about divorce just after my last breakup… ah, here it is.

Trinity’s Seven Virtues & Sins Of Divorce Virtues Faith: “I just know she won’t take me for everything!”

Hope: “I pray he never remembers all that jewelry I bought!”

Charity: “Now I know I can get some tax writeoffs from this!”

Prudence: “So, lets see. There’s the Swiss bank

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account, the Paris bungalow and a few other things he’ll never find out I bought.”

Justice: “I’m going to hire the best lawyer I can!”

Fortitude: ”I’m going to take him for everything!”

Temperance: ” OK! I’ll only take him for half of what he’s worth!”

Sins Pride: “I gave him the best years of my life.”

Wrath: ” I’ll kill that S.O.B!” Envy: You see your honor, she’s got looks, brains and a rich new lover. I should at least get her money and property.

Lust: “Since you lost 80 pounds, started working out and had your nose done, maybe we don’t need a divorce!”

Gluttony: “I’ll take the house, the cars, the investments and the time share and, ah… is that enough?”

Avarice: “I’ll take 50 percent of all your income until your’re…dead! You cheating, lying, no good @#%!”

Sloth: “I’m tired of your needs! If you want a divorce go get one yourself.” info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.

July 17-30 . 2015

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life

Young and Positive continued from page 8 Trevion > scattered over Victoria Falls. They wrote it down and then said, “Where is that?” Africa. Weird, but necessary when you are HIV-positive.

A couple of days later when my mom came to see me, she was happy to report her HIV status. She got tested for HIV at the Power House Project (PHP). She declared she was negative, but she is considered a “High Risk Negative.”

She told me she had a counseling session with Jermaine Nakia Lee and George Morgan at PHP. All over again, I got pissed off at my mom.

I wished I was a damn “High Risk Negative.”

I wished all this bad stuff hadn’t happened to me. I wished I wouldn’t have to worry about the three horse pills I take every morning. I wished… I wished… I didn’t have HIV. They say everything happens for a reason. I just needed to support her — just like she was supporting me. I do get why she would be a High Risk Negative. She is 53, a beautiful single Latina; she is straight and never been married.

She prefers to date Black men (nothing wrong with that, so do I). Some of the research I read says that 75 percent of all Black men who identify as straight, have gay “tendencies.” And that’s only of those people who would actually respond! Jermaine and George were right: my mom is a High Risk Negative. She doesn’t know if the men she slept with were with other men, or women, or both! She could have contracted HIV any time. Thank God she didn’t. We had a very serious talk about using condoms every time, all the time — both of us. It was definitely

a unique mother-son bonding moment.

With the good news of my improving viral load and CD4, we started to talk about what would happen next. The Levine Children’s Hospital professionals talked to me about Cumberland Hospital in Virginia as a place that would continue to help me. They said Cumberland would deal closely with behavioral therapy and medical treatment for HIV. Apparently, there aren’t many hospitals that do both for teenagers with HIV and other chronic illnesses. At first, I didn’t want to go. I just wanted to go home and pretend it was all a very bad dream. Then I was mad at everyone — how can you all do this to me? I hate meeting new people, I hate trusting new people, I hate having to go through this. I had long days of thinking about it on the ninth floor. I thought about it and I thought about it. I realized I was on the verge of being 18, and this was an important opportunity for me to learn to take care of myself and make better decisions. It would be the time and the place I needed to figure out how I got here and how I would go forth into my new HIV-positive life.

Honestly, I didn’t want to go, but I also knew it would save my life and so, I agreed.

I continued to get healthier by the day, and a week later we were on the road to Cumberland in New Kent, Va. I was trying to take it in one mile at a time; it was a long five hour drive there.

I did my best to not think about the distance and being away from my home and family. I focused on all the love and support that was waiting for me there and all the love and support that was already behind me. I was nervous. I was scared.

And I was alive. : : Norena > return to the patio of my apartment where I pray.

Today feels different. I look at the beautiful Virgin de Guadalupe statue. I get down on my knees. I pray for the first time in weeks. “Blessed Mother, I surrender. I lay my son at your feet and ask you to take care of him. I surrender.”

Fast forward three days. The Levine treatment team comes into the room while I am with Trevion.

I don’t have a job now, so I can be there every day.

“We have great news. Your viral load is now 1,070 and your CD4 is 576.” I stopped listening after the 1,070 number. I confirm what the doctor has just said, “He went from 8 million to 1,070 viral load in less than three weeks?” Yes. I take a huge breath, look at Trevion. We have a private smile with each other. I catch my breath and start to sob. I say a silent prayer: “Thank you God, thank you HIV meds, thank you to all who gave their lives over the last 30 years so my son could have this moment right now. All is well and all is well.”

I ask the doctor what I need to pray for now.

I don’t know what I should expect as a miracle.

He medically responds simply, “Undetectable — 20 or below.” I didn’t even know zero was possible. I know what to manifest for my son now and I am on it — Zero Viral Load.

Trevion and I don’t know what to do with ourselves so we decide going to the cafeteria for sushi as the best celebration. Chopsticks and soy sauce in hand, we look at each other.

Wow. Is this really happening? It’s almost like “it” didn’t happen. It’s almost like “it” was a bad cold. Life is going to go on. The Blessed Mother has delivered a miracle. : : — Norena Gutierrez is the adoptive mother of Trevion and his brother. Trevion is a student at Central Piedmont Community College. They can be reached at momandtrevion@yahoo.com.

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a&e

Charlotte’s Delighted Tobehere moves up on ‘America’s Got Talent’

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harlotte star Delighted Tobehere, formerly known by many as Roxy C. Moorecox, made a grand appearance on “America’s Got Talent” on July 7.

Tobehere, the alter-ego of former Charlotte performer Clay Smith, underwent a name and

brand change earlier this year. Smith told us earlier this year about the name change in an “Our People” Q&A installment (read that Q&A at goqnotes.com/34323/).

“Delighted Tobehere is just good ol’ Roxy with a fresh coat of paint and a new outlook

on life and what it means to be an entertainer,” Smith said at the time. “I recognized that the risqué nature of my stage name was holding me back from more “mainstream’ opportunities and that a change needed to take place. So, with the careful and thoughtful advice from a team of advisors and professionals, I created a new name that not only reflected the playful, southern charm that you loved about Roxy, but that also incorporates the message of having a positive outlook on life.”

Since moving to New York City, Tobehere has found an exuberant audience for her unique style, performing regularly around the city and continuing her trips for performances across the country. Just a few days after moving to the Big Apple, she competed in and won the Broadway’s Best Drag competition.

If you missed the airing of “America’s Got Talent,” see a short clip at goqnotes.com/35880/.

Tobehere received four yes votes from judges Howie Mandel, Howard Stern, Melanie “Mel B” Brown and Heidi Klum. : :

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EVENTS July-August 2015 Bear-B-Que The Woodshed Lounge 4000 Queen City Dr., Charlotte 6-9 p.m.

Join Charlotte Pride for a good old southern BBQ dinner with all the fixin’s.

Tickets are $10 online or $15 at the door, including dinner, silent auction, giveaways and a special appearance from Billy Santoro, model from Raging Stallion Studios. All proceeds benefit Charlotte Pride. Purchase advance discount tickets online. charlottepride.org/bearbque/.

SEP JUL MO

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Young Professionals Mixer SEP JUL MO The Fillmore Charlotte 1000 NC Music Factory Blvd., Charlotte 6-8:30 p.m.

RAIN Young Affiliates and The Fillmore Charlotte host their third annual Young Professionals Multi-Group Mixer. Network with other community leaders, meet and gather information on young professionals groups in Charlotte and have a great time for a good cause. Tickets are $11. Tickets include event entry, one complimentary signature cocktail, entry to see tribute band and cool giveaways.

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Submit your event to our calendar!

You can submit your event to our comprehensive community calendar presented by qnotes, the LGBT Community Center of Charlotte and Visit Gay Charlotte. Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/ and get a three-for-one entry. All Charlotte-area events will appear on each of the three calendars at qnotes (goqnotes.com), the LGBT Center (lgbtcharlotte.org) and Visit Gay Charlotte (visitgaycharlotte.com).

Brunch & Wash SEP JUL MO The Bar at 316 316 Rensselaer Ave., Charlotte 1-4 p.m.

Come get your car washed and all shiny by a crew of volunteers from Charlotte Pride.

The Bar at 316 will provide free brunch, along with drink specials including $3 McUltras and $5 fireball shots. More information is available online. charlottepride.org/event/charlottepride-brunch-wash/.

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Continues through Aug. 1 Charleston Pride Speed Networking Charleston Pride hosts SEP JUL MO Blue Restaurant & Bar their festival and parade, 206 N. College St. Book Launch along with several other SEP JUL MO 6:30 p.m.

Holy Trinity Lutheran Church activities throughout the 1900 The Plaza, Charlotte weekend. More details Charlotte 4-5:30 p.m. are available online.

Business Nancy Kraft, pastor of Holy charlestonpride.com.

Trinity Lutheran Church, celebrates the –––––––––––––––––––– Guild hosts a networklaunch of her new spiritual memoir, Open House ing event “THREADS: Pulling Meaning from the North Star LGBT Center for business Tangled Mess.” Come gather for re930 Burke St., Winston-Salem professionals and business owners. freshments and listen to a few excerpts 1-5 p.m. from the book, which will be on sale at a Winston-Salem’s North Star LGBT Center Open networking begins at 6:30 p.m., reduced rate. Kraft will be available for hosts an open house at its new location. with speed networking starting at 7 p.m.

Free and open to the public, with free signatures.

Check out the new space, library, talk to board members and volunteers and hear valet parking, hors d’oeuvres and drink about upcoming programs. Refreshments specials. More information is availble Billy Maddalon Meet and SEP JUL MO online. and ice cream served.

Greet cltbusinessguild.org. northstarlgbtcc.com.

The Historic Excelsior Club 921 Beatties Ford Rd., Charlotte Charlotte Pride Splash Day SEP AUG MO

5:30-7:30 p.m.

Carowinds, 14523 Carowinds Blvd., Charlotte Charlotte City Council At-Large Candidate Charlotte Pride extends an invitation to a day of fun in the sun at Carowinds Billy Maddalon hosts a meet and greet. and Boomerang Bay. Special promo code CHARLOTTEPRIDE to gets More information is available online. discount tickets at $36, including free parking. Park hours: 10 a.m.-10 p.m. Boomerang billymaddalon.com.

Bay hours: 11 a.m.-6 p.m. Get more information at charlottepride.org/splashday/.

SEP JUL MO

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Continues through Aug. 16 SEP AUG MO Charlotte Pride Week Various locations, Charlotte More than a week of LGBT community, nightlife and other events all leading up to the annual Charlotte Pride Festival and Parade.

For more information and a full schedule, stay tuned for qnotes July 31 Charlotte Pride Preview issue or visit Charlotte Pride’s website. charlottepride.org/calendar/.

Continues through Aug. 16 Charlotte Pride Festival and Parade Tryon St., Uptown Charlotte The Charlotte Pride Festival and Parade return to Uptown for two days of community engagement, over 100 vendors, a Sunday parade and two days of entertainment. Stay tuned for qnotes July 31 Charlotte Pride Preview issue or visit Charlotte Pride’s website for more information. charlottepride.org.

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LGBT Candidate Forum SEP AUG MO Le Méridien Hotel 555 S. McDowell St., Charlotte 6:30 p.m.

Save the date and stay tuned for more information, including on how to RSVP to reserve your seat at this free event. Charlotte LGBT community organizations come together to present a forum with candidates for Charlotte City Council at-large and mayor. This is an opportunity for LGBT and straight ally voters to hear from candidates on their positions regarding LGBT equality. With recent debates and dialogue on LGBT non-discrimination protections in the City of Charlotte, it’s more important than ever that LGBT voters have an opportunity to hear from those who would like to represent them in local office. The event will feature a moderated forum and a time to mix and mingle with candidates.

Co-sponsored by the Charlotte Business Guild, LGBT Democrats of Mecklenburg County, Log Cabin Republicans, MeckPAC and qnotes.

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Stonewall Takeover SEP AUG MO Wet-’n-Wild 3910 S. Holden Rd., Greensboro Stonewall Sports leagues from across the state join together for a takeover at the Wet-’n-Wild water park.

Tickets are $36.99 at the park or pay in advance at a discounted rate of $28 online at mkt.com/stonewall-takeover.

–––––––––––––––––––– Walk a Mile in Her Shoes NoDa Brewing Company 2229 N. Davidson St., Charlotte 9 a.m.

Hearts Beat as One Foundation teams up with Safe Alliance and Beards BeCAUSE to present a day of fundraising and awareness. Sign up is available online at safeallianceevents.org.

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Shelby Pride The Episcopal Church of the Redeemer 502 W. Sumter St., Shelby 6 p.m.

LGBT and ally community’s second annual Shelby Pride picnic. Stay tuned for more information and learn more at facebook.com/events/1610714215855598/.

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Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/

goqnotes.com/to/life

life

A toast to 10 years:

Charlotte Black Gay Pride

Organization holds 10th annual events July 16-19

by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com

Founders of Charlotte Black Gay Pride pose for a photo before the gala.

Photo Credit: Esih E. Photography

O

this,” she said. “They didn’t know anything ver 100 people gathered Saturday, July more than that, but they took action.”

11 to pay tribute to 10 years of Charlotte Charlotte City Councilmember LaWana Black Gay Pride (CBGP). The organizaMayfield received the Political Awareness tion, founded in 2005, celebrates its 10th annual Award. She credited Rawls and her call more event the weekend this print edition hits stands. than a decade ago for her church members to Their “Decade of Excellence” black-tie gala, volunteer and become involved in the community. hosted at The Venue at 1801 N. Tryon St., atYears later, those she inspired have become leadtracted a variety of community leaders, elected ing social justice advocates, award winners and officials, CBGP board members, former board more. That call also inspired her, Mayfield said. members and founders.

“Because of that call to volunteer a decade The highlight of the evening were several ago, I get to stand in front of you now as your awards given to community leaders, founders, elected official,” she said. organizations and businesses that have been In addition to Mayfield, other civic leaders supportive of or instrumental in CBGP planning and candidates in attendance at the special over the past decade. event included Charlotte City Councilmembers Monica Simpson, who received a Patsy Kinsey and Al Austin, Mecklenburg Founders Award, said CBGP began as an County Commissioner Pat Cotham, Charlotte opportunity to “celebrate ourselves, our lives, mayoral candidate Jennifer Roberts and our culture.”

Charlotte City Council candidate Billy Maddalon.

“Charlotte Black Gay Pride was a turning The evening featured several other award point for the City of Charlotte,” she said. winners. We’ll publish a full list in the online Jermaine Nakia Lee also received a version of this article at goqnotes.com. Learn Founders Award. more about the organization at charlotteblack“Who would believe we’d be celebrating gaypride.com. : : 10 years of Charlotte Black Gay Pride when we didn’t know if we’d get through year one?” Lee remarked from the stage.

Two lesbian leaders also received special honors, with the Freedom Award going to Bishop Tonyia Rawls of Sacred Souls Community Church. As a founder of Unity Fellowship Church Charlotte, Rawls and her congregation were involved in CBGP planning throughout the years.

Rawls paid tribute to the then-young people who Current board members of Charlotte Black Gay Pride pose for a began CBGP a decade ago. photo before the Decades of Excellence gala.

“They were young people Photo Credit: Esih E. Photography who just said we needed

July 17-30 . 2015

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July 17-30 . 2015