The Circle Up Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure team in 2008. Photo Credit: Karen Mosteller
K
aren Mosteller does not have breast cancer. In fact, she never has. But, it’s a different story for many of her close friends. “We were younger then,” Mosteller says, recounting memories of two friends diagnosed with breast cancer just weeks apart over a decade ago. “We were all taken aback. They were both healthy and exercised and did all the right things. They ate well, they took walks — all the things you were supposed to be doing.” Mosteller and others gathered around their two dear friends to provide comfort, support and love. “We felt like if we ‘circled up,’ we somehow could have some power in this situation; I think that’s probably what was in our hearts,” she says. “If we circle
School board candidates are strong advocates Darrin Rankin, Lloyd Scher clear, consistent voices for inclusion by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com
up then we can together either defeat it or hang on. I think it was a way for us to certainly be able to do something to have some kind of power in what seemed like a powerless situation.” Much has changed in the years since her friends’ breast cancer diagnoses. In 2009, one lost her battle with the disease. “Circle Up,” the informal support group Mosteller and others formed, has blossomed into a fundraising powerhouse for Charlotte’s local Susan G. Komen Foundation’s Race for the Cure. On Oct. 1, the group participated in the event for the 13th time. “There’s at least 10 or 12 survivors who are a part of Circle Up,” Mosteller says. see Support on 16
CHARLOTTE — Voters head to the polls on Nov. 8 to elect a new city council and at-large school board members. Two school board candidates stand out as strong allies and advocates. Lloyd Scher served for eight years on the Mecklenburg County Board of Commissioners. That experience, he says, makes him an ideal candidate for the board of education. “Having served on the county commission and having done eight years of budgeting, I understand what it takes,” Scher told qnotes. “I understand what changes we really need to do to make the process better.” Scher’s service on the county commission coincided with one of the area’s most high-profile
see Candidates on 6 Oct. 15-28 . 2011
qnotes
qnotes
Oct. 15-28 . 2011
inside Oct. 15-28, 2011 Vol 26 No 12
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contributors this issue Matt Comer, Charlene Lichtenstein, Lainey Millen, Leslie Robinson, David Stout, Trinity
front page Graphic Design by Matt Comer & Lainey Millen
news & features 1 1 4 6 6 8 11 12 13 17
Breast cancer & circles of love School board candidates are strong advocates City Council endorsements Philanthropist honored Briefs: Credentials misled News Notes: Regional Briefs Gay It Forward NC Pride a great party Asheville couples say ‘We Do’ In Memoriam: Michael Belger
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Special content exclusively at goqnotes.com ‘StandUp’ against bullying :: English Rugby World Cup champion Ben Cohen visits Charlotte to raise awareness for his StandUp Foundation and Campus Pride. Know your risks :: Lesbian women face obstacles in healthcare. Check out our Q&A with Jan Warren-Findlow, assistant professor of public health sciences at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte.
a&e / life&style 10 14 15 19 19
Audiophile Out in the Stars Tell Trinity UNCC presents ‘Cloud 9’ Q events calendar
opinions & views 4 General Gayety 5 Editor’s Note 12 QPoll
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Editor: Matt Comer x202 editor@goqnotes.com Assoc. Ed.: David Stout editor2@goqnotes.com Production: Lainey Millen x205 production@goqnotes.com Printed on recycled paper.
Oct. 15-28 . 2011
qnotes
VIEWS
general gayety by leslie robinson qnotes contributor
Unreal: The Haggards on reality TV
NEWS
By now you’ve heard — and maybe not believed — that disgraced preacher Ted Haggard and his wife Gayle will appear on “Celebrity Wife Swap.” Actor Gary Busey and his baby mama Steffanie Sampson are scheduled to be the other fun couple. I have to think Gayle Haggard had major qualms about participating. I can just hear her praying over the subject: “Oh Lord, I need your guidance. Unless I’m very much mistaken, I married a jackass. “No, Lord, I didn’t mean that. Please forgive me. I’m just so…tired. I’ve gone through trial after trial. Ted having sex with a male prostitute and using drugs. The shame we endured on an international
it if there were. Neither would Ted…I hope. “Things can happen, though, like innuendo and ugliness. And, Busey has a brain injury. If he puts a finger on me, I promise I’ll emulate Jael and drive a tent peg through his head. I don’t care if it hurts the ratings. Actually, it would probably help them. “I should really be more Christian toward Gary, shouldn’t I? He may be a bad boy, a recovering drug addict and have a child out of wedlock, but I know first-hand how cruel and unforgiving people can be to sinners. Isn’t Gary a minister with Promise Keepers? As long as he keeps his promises on the set, we’ll be fine. “Lord, if this is what Ted wants and thinks is best, I’ll go along. But, I can’t help wishing he’d been approached by a different show, like ‘Dancing With the Stars.’ If they have a gay man and a transgender something-orother this season, why not a powerful minister ruined by a gay sex scandal next season? He has two left feet, but I’ll keep quiet about that if you will.” : : info:
LesRobinson@aol.com . generalgayety.com
Endorsements: Charlotte City Council Candidates reflect best of pro-LGBT choices by qnotes staff
Charlotteans will head to the polls on Tuesday, Nov. 8 to elect their next city council and new members for the CharlotteMecklenburg Board of Education. Since August, qnotes has reached out to city council and mayoral candidates to assess their views and positions on a variety of issues important to local LGBT community members. The questionnaire asked candidates if they would vote for employment protections inclusive of sexual orientation and gender identity. It also asked if they’d be in favor of extending the same protections in the city’s Commercial Non-Discrimination Policy. Candidates were also asked their views on the extension of domestic partner benefits and several legislative agenda items. Several candidates did return our short, four-question survey. We thank them for their openness with LGBT voters and citizens. Others, however, chose not to participate. Candidates who did not return our questionnaire were not eligible for endorsement.
Meeting Date: Program:
Time: Cost: To Reserve:
We are excited to release our slate of 2011 endorsements for Charlotte City Council. We are encouraged by the very positive feedback we received from several candidates, in particular Patsy Kinsey and John Autry. Our endorsements for Charlotte City Council appear below and include candidates we assessed as most favorable to LGBT community members. Candidates’ full questionnaire responses can be found online at qnotes’ Election Central 2011 at goqnotes. com/clt11/. The web page also includes further election information for voters. Mayor qnotes could not issue an endorsement in this race. Neither incumbent Anthony Foxx (D) nor challenger Scott Stone (R) returned their questionnaire. However, it is qnotes’ strong belief that Foxx represents the most receptive candidate of the two. Though we could not issue an endorsement this year, we encourage voters to carefully consider Foxx’s strong LGBT-friendly record when entering polling booths this November.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011 David Lawson, Local FBI Agent Hate Crimes Discussion LGBT Community Center of Charlotte 820 Hamilton St. Cash Bar Social/Heavy Hors D’oeuvres @ 5:30 pm Program starts @ 6:45 pm $20 Call 704.565.5075 or email businessguild@yahoo.com for more information or pay online via PayPal at www.charlottebusinessguild.org
www.charlottebusinessguild.org
scale. Being banished from Colorado and forced to live in the wilderness, otherwise known as Phoenix. “But, I didn’t give up on my marriage. No, sir. I chose to forgive him. You walked me through the slow healing of my heart. I love him more than ever now. But, he still knows how to irritate the you-know-what out of me. “Can you believe he wants to do this? There must be a lot of money in it. Between you and me, Ted made a lousy insurance salesman. He’s not so hot at anything, except preaching. If we’re going to make a go of our new church here in Colorado Springs, we do need money. Pews aren’t cheap. “Honest to goodness, when he said the
show was about celebrities swapping, I thought he meant recipes. “I know Ted loves TV and the spotlight, but Lord, last I knew, wife-swapping counted as a big sin. I mean, it’s on the order of worshipping a Beanie Baby instead of you. “Your rule is that marriage is between one man and one woman. And, once in a while, a faggot on the side. Oh, I’m so sorry, God. Even I surrender to the occasional cynical moment. “But, really, these last years have been all about rebuilding our marriage, our trust in each other and our faith in you. Doesn’t this seem like we’d be treating all that too casually? “Ted says we’d show all the people watching how a marriage can hit rock bottom, but come back to life. We’d be ministering to viewers by modeling godly ways. Just how godly can I be under the same roof with Gary Busey? “Sweet Jesus! Gary Busey! Why don’t they just add in Charlie Sheen and we can have a real party? “I realize, God, there’s no sex involved in this swapping. I wouldn’t even be considering
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Charlotte City Council At-Large Claire Fallon (D) David Howard (D) (i) Edwin Peacock (R) (i) Alexander G. Vuchnich (L) District 1 Patsy Kinsey (D) (i) District 2 qnotes is making no endorsement in this race. District 3 LaWana Mayfield (D) District 4 qnotes is making no endorsement in this race. District 5 John Autry (D) District 6 qnotes is making no endorsement in this race. District 7 qnotes is making no endorsement in this race. MeckPAC Endorsements The Mecklenburg LGBT Political Action Committee (MeckPAC) has also released a slate of endorsed candidates. They have
endorsed candidates for city council and school board. Charlotte City Council Mayor Anthony Foxx At-Large District 3 Patrick Cannon (D) (i) LaWana Mayfield (D) Claire Fallon (D) District 4 David Howard (D) (i) No endorsement Edwin Peacock (R) (i) District 5 Beth Pickering (D) John Autry (D) District 1 District 6 Patsy Kinsey (D) (i) No endorsement District 2 District 7 No endorsement No endorsement School Board MeckPAC endorsed three candidates for non-partisan, at-large seats on the CharlotteMecklenburg Board of Education. They are: Aaron Pomis, Darrin Rankin, Lloyd Scher and Jeff Wise. (D) – Democrat. (R) – Republican. (L) – Libertarian. (i) – Incumbant
VIEWS
editor’s note by matt comer matt@goqnotes.com
With regret, in agreement with anti-gay forces
Activists with the Asheville, N.C.-based Coalition for Southern Equality began their We Do Campaign on Oct. 3. The two-week effort organized nearly two dozen same-sex couples who requested marriage licenses from the Buncombe County Register of Deeds. (See story, page 13.) Campaign organizer and Coalition for Southern Equality Executive Director Jasmine Beach-Ferrara said the effort is meant to draw attention to the discrimination same-sex couples face. She said LGBT families are being denied basic, constitutional rights and freedoms. The group’s campaign is a perfect example of grassroots, non-violent direct action, highlighting in real time the effects of discrimination upon its victims. Further, the direct action forces otherwise well-meaning people to either defend the discrimination or stand up in solidarity against it. Buncombe County Register of Deeds Drew Reisinger chose the latter. It was a decision that put him between a rock and a hard place, so to speak — a straight ally, he was forced to uphold a law which even he believes is unjust. “A few years ago I decided to dive head first into the world of politics, because I thought I could help make the world a better place,” he wrote on Facebook. “I wanted to do more than stand on a street corner in Boone holding up a protest sign.” He added, “Now that I have become a public official, I find myself in a role that requires me to uphold the law of the state of North Carolina. While I am proud of what I have accomplished, there is more work to be done. Because today when I was asked to give a friend of mine, who happens to be gay, a marriage license, I had to deny her and her partner of 30 years the joy of marriage and it broke my heart.” Direct actions like the We Do Campaign are important. Reisinger and other LGBTfriendly people in positions of power are having to confront their own feelings and the law. Such experiences are necessary in the continued quest for justice and equality. But, as with other cases of direct action this year, I believe the coalition’s campaign could have been more strategic. I applaud the group’s approach and appreciate its thorough non-violence in thought, word and deed. Yet, I
question the appropriateness of the campaign’s timing, the message it sends and its potential to backfire in the looming electoral conflict over a proposed anti-LGBT constitutional amendment. As news of the campaign spread across the state and nation, anti-gay lobbyist Tami Fitzgerald, executive director of the proamendment group North Carolina Values Coalition, outlined why she thought the coalition’s actions would do more harm to proLGBT causes than good. “I think it makes our case why we need an amendment,” Fitzgerald told AP writer Tom Breen. “When people see that, they’re going to be concerned, and they’re going to take it as a sign of aggression on the part of people who advocate for same-sex marriage.” With unfortunate regret, I must say I agree with Fitzgerald. Our community’s potential to defeat the anti-LGBT amendment at the ballot box in May will not depend upon our ability to convince North Carolina voters to support full marriage equality. Though recent polls show at least a plurality of voters and citizens heading in that direction, a larger portion still remain opposed to full equality. Our movement’s singular advantage is the integrity and honor of our state’s people; though they might not support full equality, they do not support outright hatred and draconian discrimination for discrimination’s sake. Take, for instance, the recent announcement from U.S. Rep. Renee Ellmers, a conservative Tea Party favorite who represents the state’s 2nd Congressional District. She does not support full marriage equality and likely never will. Yet, she will vote against the amendment because, according to her spokesperson, it is too broad and too vague. I urge my fellow LGBT citizens and our allies to be more thoughtful in their approaches to direct action and protest as we move into the early phases of our campaigns against the anti-LGBT amendment. Drawing upon the progressive principles and history of this great state and its great people, our community will have a phenomenal opportunity to defeat the amendment. In order to accomplish that goal, we should each keep in mind what will be of best benefit to the entire movement. Demands for full equality are important and should never be ignored, but they should be balanced, strategic and well-timed. : :
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qnotes
NEWS
Candidates show support
Philanthropist honored on Capitol Hill
continued from page 1
Reception hosted by Burr, Hagan as Mitchell Gold launches new paperback book
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Mitchell Gold, founder of Faith in America, was honored Oct. 5 at a reception co-sponsored by both North Carolina’s U.S. Sens. Kay Hagan and Richard Burr for his work to educate the public about the harm caused to LGBT youth. The event paralleled the launch of Gold’s new paperbook book “Youth in Crisis: What Everyone Should Know About Growing Up Gay.” Gold in 2008 published “CRISIS: 40 Stories Revealing The Personal, Social, and Religious Pain and Trauma of Growing up Gay in America.” He has called the book, which was co-produced with Mindy Drucker, his sister-in-law, one of the most rewarding advocacy projects he has ever undertaken. [Ed. Note — This publication’s editor contributed an essay to Gold’s book.] Approximately 65 guests attended the evening reception in the U.S. Capitol Building. Congressional guests included Hagan and Burr, Sen. Susan Collins of Maine, Sen. Mark Udall of Colorado, Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand of New York and Rep. Brad Miller and Rep. Melvin Watts, both of North Carolina. Staff from a number of representatives and senators attended the event along with other guests. Bob Williams, co-founder of the Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams home furnishings company and a founding member of Faith in
America’s board of directors, was also in attendance. Both Hagan and Burr spoke at the reception, thanking Gold for his work. “No child should grow up in an environment where they are made to feel less than whole,” Hagan stated. “Mitchell Gold’s work on behalf of our LGBT youth pushes attitudes away from intolerance and ignorance, and toward acceptance and compassion. I thank him for his continued support of our next generation.” Guests were provided a copy of the new paperback edition of “Youth in Crisis.” While most the content in the paperback edition is the same, there is a brief new introduction by Gold, as editor of the book, that speaks to Faith in America’s mission of educating people about the harm religion-based bigotry causes and other factual updates. It was read by Mitchell Gold at the Capitol Hill reception. : : — Compiled from release
Mitchell Gold with U.S. Sens. Kay Hagan and Richard Burr. Photo Credit: Stephen Heavner
Briefs: Senator’s credentials misled Senator’s credentials misled, but seem legit CHARLOTTE — A blogger at Pam’s House Blend (pamshouseblend.com) broke news in late September that alleged that state Sen. James Forrester (R-Gaston) had falsified some of his credentials on résumés posted on his campaign website and other web pages. Forrester was the lead sponsor of an anti-LGBT constitutional amendment to be considered by North Carolina voters in May 2012. Subsequent news reports by this newspaper and other media outlets revealed that Forrester had embellished information about his membership in several medical associations. The 10-term senator, a physician by trade, had said he was a current fellow of the American College of Preventive Medicine. “At one time, he might have been a member or a fellow, but he’s certainly not a fellow now,” ACPM Executive Director Michael Barry told qnotes. Forrester also mislead the public on his membership with the Aerospace Medical Association. Though he listed himself as a current associate fellow, officials with the group said his membership lapsed in 2005. Forrester told qnotes that any mistakes in his résumé were “inadvertent.”
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Oct. 15-28 . 2011
“What has happened is the gay community — the homosexuals don’t like the bill that I pushed through the General Assembly,” Forrester told qnotes via phone. “They don’t like the bill. They are trying to kill the messenger. They are working to discredit me, but they can’t.” Forrester added, “If I put anything on my résumé that is false, I’ll certainly change it.” Any mistakes, Forrester said, were “inadvertent.” “I don’t need to make up credentials; I have enough of them already,” he said. “The gay community is just trying to dig up anything bad about me to discredit me and discredit the bill. I wish they’d quit sending such hate mail and the terrible phone calls I’m getting from them.” more: Read our full coverage online at goqnotes.com/12633/. Gay Republicans praise Tea Party fave’s opposition to amendment WASHINGTON, D.C. — A national organization representing LGBT Republicans is praising one conservative GOP politician’s stance against North Carolina’s anti-LGBT constitutional amendment. On Oct. 2, Raleigh’s News & Observer reported that Republican Congresswoman Renee Ellmers would vote against an antiLGBT state constitutional amendment. “As a voter, she would vote against a piece of legislation that would add a ban on civil unions to the protection of marriage since they are two different issues and should be dealt with separately,” Ellmers spokesperson Tom Doheny told the capital paper. Ellmers represents the states 2nd
Congressional District, southeast of Raleigh. Log Cabin Republicans has applauded Ellmers’ position. “Representative Renee Ellmers is speaking for many North Carolina Republicans when she says that you don’t have to support marriage equality to know this constitutional amendment is wrong,” Log Cabin Republicans Executive Director R. Clarke Cooper said in a release on [Oct. 3]. “Log Cabin Republicans hope North Carolina conservatives will follow Representative Ellmers’s lead and vote no in May 2012. From major businesses and employers to local churches, opposition to this amendment is rising across the state. It is one thing to disagree about marriage, but banning all recognition of gay and lesbian families crosses the line for many North Carolinians who want to see their gay neighbors, friends and family members treated with respect and dignity.” Cooper added, “The proposed constitutional amendment is an unnecessary and overreaching incursion on North Carolina families, and with the opposition of conservatives like Rep. Ellmers, it will fail.” Advocate: Is Charlotte ready for its close-up? LOS ANGELES — qnotes’ editor, Matt Comer, had the opportunity to speak with Advocate reporter Julie Bolcer about efforts to raise awareness on LGBT equality issues in Charlotte ahead of the city’s 2012 spotlight as it hosts the Democratic National Convention. Local mover-and-shaker Scott Bishop was also interviewed. Find links to the article and a past Advocate op-ed by Comer at goqnotes. com/12575/. : :
LGBT controversies, when the so-called “Gang of Five” commissioners voted to strip some $2 million from public arts funding following a staging of the gay-themed play, “Angels in America.” He was a nearly-lone voice speaking out forcefully in opposition to the cuts. Scher says he’ll bring the same passion and Lloyd Scher commitment to his service on the board of education, though he says politics there is and should be much different. “When I had to deal with the Gang of Five, that was ‘politics’” Scher recounts. “That was mean, unqualified and pure hatred. That is not what will go on in the school board. We have to know how to treat things that need respect with respect. If we can’t respect ourselves on the board, how are students going to respect us?” Darrin Rankin, also running for an at-large school board seat, has never held public office. Nonetheless, he, too, brings a kind of passion and commitment many often find lacking in politics today. A candidate for city council in 2009, Rankin has consistently reached out to LGBT citizens and voters. Inclusion, he says, is important for LGBT students and parents. “We need to knock down barriers and eliminate discrimination and fight for human rights to make sure our students are prepared as they exit high school,” he says. He also understands the role LGBT citizens play as school system employees. “When you look at the LGBT community you see some are employees in the school system and government,” he says. “They understand the challenges in education as well as challenges in the work place.” One of the many issues facing school board candidates this year are controversies over “performance pay” Darrin Rankin for teachers. Rankin favors it, though with caution. “It’s good overall,” Rankin says, “but we need to make some adjustments and we have to be fair when we implement performance pay. Not every classroom is identical. In one classroom, children might show up ready to learn with all their supplies and you go down the hall or to another school and children might be coming to school hungry or have emotional or health problems.” Scher, who is opposed, is more blunt: “It sucks,” he says, adding, “A test doesn’t show what else is happening in a student’s life and it is not the way teachers should be paid. These are professionals and they should be paid like professionals.” Scher and Rankin were both endorsed by the Mecklenburg LGBT Political Action Committee (MeckPAC), along with candidates Aaron Pomis and Jeff Wise (see story, page 4). : :
Oct. 15-28 . 2011
qnotes
BRIEFS
news notes: from the carolinas, nation and world compiled by Lainey Millen :: lainey@goqnotes.com | David Stout :: david@goqnotes.com | Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com
Charlotte Co-chairs sought
CHARLOTTE — Pride Charlotte is seeking volunteers to serve as its co-chairs for the 2012 Festival. The co-chairs have overall responsibility for the planning, management and execution of all Pride Charlotte operations, activities and events throughout the year. Applications will be accepted until Oct. 31 at 5 p.m. Co-chairs will report to the LGBT Community Center of Charlotte’s Board of Trustees and have oversight responsibility for a volunteer committee. The individual will also work collaboratively with community partners and volunteers to ensure a viable, relevant
and inclusive Pride Charlotte celebration for the entire metro Charlotte LGBT community and its allies. To apply, send in a cover letter and resume to the board chair at chair@gaycharlotte.com. Put “2012 Co-Chairs Search Committee” in the subject line. A complete list of responsibilities and qualifications is also available through this email address. For more information, visit pridecharlotte. com or gaycharlotte.com. — L.M.
PFLAG fundraiser slated
SALISBURY — The Salisbury/Rowan chapter of Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) will host their Autumn Soirée on Oct. 29, 6-9 p.m., at the Looking
Glass Art Collective, 405 N. Lee St. The evening’s event helps to support the Salisbury/Rowan PFLAG Scholarships Foundation. Keynote speaker will be Dr. Janie Long, Ph.D., who serves as director of the Center for LGBT Life at Duke University. Entertainment will be provided by Ashley Jo Farmer Band, a locally-based singer/songwriter. A silent auction, food and beverages will grace the festivities. Cover charge is $30 adult, $20 student. Dress is casual. Tickets are available at Critters Cards & Gifts, 125 S. Main St., in Salisbury or Green Goat Gallery, 516 S. Salisbury Ave., in Spencer. For more information, visit salisbury-pflag.org. — L.M.
Pumpkin carving time!
CHARLOTTE — Charlie Brown may be there! So, venture out the the pumpkin carving competition on Oct. 29, 12-4 p.m., at the LGBT Community Center of Charlotte, 820 Hamilton St., Suite B11. No reservations are needed. Simply show up with an orange orb-like object to carve and tools, too! A prize for best pumpkin will be awarded. For a list of ongoing activities, visit gaycharlotte.com. — L.M.
Band requests contributions
CHARLOTTE — The Charlotte Pride Band has kicked off its Season Starter Fundraising Drive to raise funds to purchase equipment for the upcoming season. Tax-deductible contribution are welcome in any amount. So far, they have raised $1,000 and are on their way to meeting a second challenge goal of $1,500. On Oct. 22, 7-9 p.m., at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Charlotte, 234 N. Sharon Amity, part one of four of a “Journey Into Space” concert will be held. This wind ensemble presentation is part of the overall series that will encompass music, art and storytelling about humanity’s efforts to discover home. Tickets start at $10 and are available online. For more information, visit charlotteprideband.org. — L.M.
Guild award nominations announced
CHARLOTTE — The Charlotte Business Guild is now accepting nominations for their annual LGBT Community Service Awards. Nominations are open through Oct. 31.
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The awards recognize both individual and community leaders throughout the Queen City. They originated with the 1993 Charlotte Pride organizing committee and acknowledge the contributions made by individuals, businesses and straight allies. The award ceremony will be held on Dec. 6. At press time, the location had not been announced. Individual awards are presented to a man and a woman who exemplify the qualities of true leadership. Business awards are made to companies who have set an example of inclusiveness and community support. The Bridge-Builder award is given to a straight ally who has gone well beyond the call of duty in his or her service to meld communities. Nominees, who work to achieve progress and/or visibility on behalf of all LGBT people, usually contribute five or more years to the LGBT community. Winners are selected by the Guild board of directors. Nominations should include a narrative explaining why the nominee should receive the award, including supporting examples of work done. For more information or to send in nominations, call 704-565-5075, email guild@ charlottebusinessguild.org or mail to Frances Richter, President, Charlotte Business Guild, P.O. Box 3337, Charlotte, NC 28233. — L.M.
Triangle Library opens
RALEIGH — The LGBT Center of Raleigh’s library opened Oct. 14 with a grand opening which featured an author reading and book signing by Lambda Literary Award finalist Tom Mendicino. He read from “Probation,” a North Carolina-based freshman novel about life as a closeted gay man. A collection of over 1,000 items of LGBT fiction, non-fiction, and reference materials are available to readers. Books are color-coded by category for easy browsing: red, bisexual interest; orange, gay male interest; yellow, lesbian interest; green, transgender interest; and blue, queer/gender fluid interest. It also has an extensive collection of teen books. In December, the library will debut the A. Norman Sturdivant Special Non-Circulating Collection. DVD and CD materials will also become available for borrowing at this time. Library cards are available for $5 and are for sale at the center. An application must be filled out in order to purchase a card. The library is only open to residents of Wake, Durham and Orange counties. Proof of residency in the Triangle area is required. For more information, visit lgbtcenterofraleigh.com. — L.M.
Student seeks participants
CHAPEL HILL — Nathaniel James, a former qnotes intern and journalism student at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill is searching for interviewees for a story he is preparing on the proposed amendment to the state constitution banning gay marriage. He is looking for those who are willing to be a subject for an in-depth interview to show that gay relationships are not different from heterosexual relationships. The story will have several video interviews that will span a period of two weeks. James feels that this story is important for the LGBTQ community because “our relationships are just as loving and fulfilling as our heterosexual counterparts. It can be argued that our relationships are stronger because
of the adversity we face when doing small things, like going to the grocery store.” For more information, call 704-996-0815 or email nathaniel_james@me.com. — L.M.
Triad ENC Gala set
GREENSBORO — The Equality Conference & Gala will be held on Nov. 12 in its fifth year celebration. The conference will take place at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro’s Elliott Center from 8:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m. Student caucus will be held from 5:30-7 p.m. It will provide attendees with a day full of advocacy training, workshops and more. The Gala will follow at the Empire Room, 203 S. Elm St. During the gala, the 2011 Legislative Leadership Award will be presented to a worthy recipient, along with the Equality Champion Awards for regions that span the state. At press time, award winners had not yet been announced. Sponsorships and program guide advertisers are currently being sought. In addition, there are still spots for table captains and sponsors, as well as those who wish to set up display space at the conference. Rates and specifics are available online. A number of foundations have lent their financial support to enable students to receive a 50 percent discount on student admission. These are available on a limited basis. Email devin@equalitync.org for more details. Early bird registration rates are available through Oct. 21. Conference regular admission is $50 ($65 after); student, $25 ($35 after) ($12.50 for a limited time only and as available); and income challenged $35 (reduced rate not available after Oct. 21). Gala regular admission is $145 ($175 after); student, $75 ($95 after) ($37.50 for a limited time only and as available); and income challenged $85 (reduced rate not available after Oct. 21). Host hotel is the Greensboro Marriott Downtown. Call 800-228-9290 to make reservations. To register or for complete information, call 919-829-0343, ext. 112 or visit equalitync.org. — L.M.
National Trans prisoner settles federal suit
BUTNER, N.C. — A settlement has been reached in the case of Vanessa Adams, a Federal Bureau of Prisons (BOP) inmate at FMC Butner, who has gender identity disorder (GID). Adams sued BOP in order to receive appropriate treatment for her GID. Adam’s challenge to BOP’s treatment of trans prisoners has resulted in BOP ending its so-called “freeze frame” policy in which treatment for any person with GID is kept frozen at the level provided at the time he or she entered the federal prison system. In Adams’ case, this meant that because she had not received treatment for GID before being incarcerated, BOP refused to provide her with medically necessary care even though its own doctors diagnosed her with GID, told her about treatments available for GID, and knew about the seriousness of her medical condition. The new policy was announced in two memos from BOP’s Medical Director to all BOP’s chief executive officers; the memos have now been distributed to all individuals in the prison system who have been diagnosed with GID, as well as to the medical
staff treating them. When the suit was filed in February 2009, Adams was at a federal prison in Florida. There she was being denied medically necessary hormone therapy and prevented from otherwise expressing a female gender identity because she had not received this treatment prior to her incarceration. — D.S.
Military chaplains can marry gays
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Department of Defense has decided that military chaplains can voluntarily perform same-sex wedding ceremonies using base facilities in jurisdictions where marriage equality is legal. Pentagon officials clarified this position in two separate memos sent to military services. The second memo, from Under Secretary of Defense Clifford Stanley, clarified that the Pentagon was not taking a political stance on same-sex marriage through the new policy, stating “a military chaplain’s participation in a private ceremony does not constitute an endorsement of the ceremony by DoD.” — D.S.
GOP pays $1.5m for discrimination
WASHINGTON , D.C. — After the Obama Administration announced that it would not defend the Defense of Marriage Act from a legal challenge currently working its way through the courts, Republicans led the U.S. House in a vote to hire outside counsel to defend the discriminatory law. Speaker John Boehner came under fire when he entered into a $500,000 contract with private attorneys, at a time when the economy is so poor and budget cuts are the mantra of the GOP. On Oct. 4, the opposing voices were given even more to decry when it was revealed that a new contract had increased the amount to $1.5 million. “There seems to be no limit to how much taxpayer money the House Republican leadership is willing to spend to keep this discriminatory law on the books,” said Human Rights Campaign President Joe Solmonese. “At a time when budgeting is the watchword in Washington, Americans will be rightly aghast at this boondoggle for right-wing lawyers. The Defense of Marriage Act singles out same-sex couples for unfair treatment and no amount of money can overcome the fact that it flies in the face of our cherished constitutional principles.” — D.S.
Walmart protects trans workers
BENTONVILLE, Ark. — On Sept. 28, Walmart, the nation’s largest private employer, added gender identity and expression to its employment non-discrimination policy, which already included sexual orientation. “What matters in the workplace is how you do your job, not your gender identity or sexual orientation,” said Human Rights Campaign President Joe Solmonese. “As the nation’s largest private employer, Walmart shows that doing the right thing is also good for business. We urge them to continue to move forward by ensuring all of their LGBT employees receive equal benefits.” The HRC Foundation tracks corporate workplace policies and rates companies on their treatment of LGBT employees through the Corporate Equality Index (CEI). The CEI has helped lead a sea-change in the workplace practices of corporate America by assessing more than 30 specific policies and practices covering nearly every aspect
of employment for LGBT workers from nondiscrimination protections and the training surrounding those policies to domestic partnership and legal dependent benefits to gender transition guidelines and LGBT employee resource groups. “Congress needs to follow their lead and make the Employment Non-Discrimination Act the law of the land,” added Solmonese. — D.S.
High court battle over privacy
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Seventeen LGBT, HIV and health advocacy organizations have filed friend-of-the-court briefs urging the U.S. Supreme Court to affirm a lower court ruling finding that the federal Privacy Act protects against illegal disclosures that result in suffering unrelated to financial losses. The case before the Supreme Court was brought initially by Stanmore Cooper, who disclosed his HIV status to the Social Security Administration (SSA) in applying for long-term disability benefits. Cooper sought redress in court after his HIV status was wrongfully shared among the SSA, the Federal Aviation Administration, and the U.S. Department of Transportation, all without his consent. Cooper did not claim financial injuries; rather, he presented witnesses and documentation to show his psychological harm. Lambda Legal’s brief argues that the Privacy Act was intended to cover nonpecuniary harms, meaning that the disclosure of private medical information without consent often has significant personal impact on community standing, physical and emotional safety, and family and professional relationships. Lambda and the other amici argue that such unlawful violations, if proved, must be compensated under the act. — D.S.
Global Gay man wins asylum fight
LONDON, England — After an 11-year battle a gay Burundian man has won asylum in the U.K. Alvin Gahimbaze fled Burundi with his sister, Danella, in 2000 to escape the ethnic clashes in which his family was massacred. Homosexuality was banned in Burundi in 2009 and human rights organizations say it is unsafe for gays and lesbians living there. Although Danella is now a permanent resident, Alvin’s application for asylum was refused because officials questioned whether he is actually gay. Following a referral by LGBT Asylum News, Gahimbaze ‘s case was taken up by the Green Party in Bristol. Green Party MEPs (Members of European Parliament) Jean Lambert and Keith Taylor wrote letters to the U.K. Border Agency as did the Labour MEP Michael Cashman and the Bristol Conservative MP Charlotte Leslie. South West Greens LGBT spokesperson Ryan Cleminson said, “We had to get involved as we couldn’t sit back and allow Alvin to be deported back to Burundi, where he would have faced almost certain torture and/or death at the hands of the repressive government.” Gahimbaze will now return to his studies at Bristol University, where he had started a law degree at the University of West England. — D.S. info: Have news or other information? Send your press releases and updates for inclusion in our News Notes: editor@goqnotes.com.
Oct. 15-28 . 2011
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audiophile by david stout david@goqnotes.com
Gloria Estefan dances back into the spotlight
Dance music has always been a welcoming refuge for older divas. In fact, it’s probably the one popular genre where age really isn’t a factor at all. A dancefloor scorcher by a 50-something, 60-something or even a 70something (hello 78-year-old Yoko Ono, owner of seven straight Club Play #1s — the most recent coming just last month) has as much chance of success as a track by a 20-something pop tart. The music’s capacity for extending commercial relevance is a major reason why artists like Madonna, Cher, Donna Summer, Cyndi Lauper and numerous others continue to pas de deux with dance music well past the age that many of them would even care to step onto a dancefloor. Another key motivator for working in the genre must be the artistic opportunity it creates for working with the hippest, most cutting-edge producers. For example, latin crossover superstar Gloria Estefan, 54, bonded across a generation with urban superproducer Pharrell Williams, 38, to craft her sizzling, new beat-heavy release, “Miss Little Havana.” It’s the singer’s first English-language album since 2003 and her 26th overall. Perfectly underscoring my opening point, lead single “Wepa” hit the top of the Club Play chart the week of Oct. 2. “Havana” loosely relates the tale of a 17year old girl (“with a body just like a model”) who comes to the big city of Miami seeking love and adventure. In the album-opening title cut, she hooks up with a lothario on the dancefloor and begins a tumultuous journey that’s traced over 15 cuts, nine helmed by Williams and a closing quartet produced by
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Estefan’s husband Emilio. Surprisingly, the project wasn’t conceived — or even written — to be a concept album. “Everything happened really naturally, and that’s always a good sign. When we finished, I pointed out to [Pharrell] that the songs told a story. It didn’t start as a concept, but that’s how it worked out.”
In the end, though, dance albums don’t succeed because of their tales; they succeed because of our tails — specifically, whether we feel compelled to shake them to the sound. As a longtime fan of Estefan, I’m delighted to say that the propulsive latin rhythms of “Little Miss Havana” had me movin’ from first cut to last. And that, the diva says, is the entire point of the project. “It’s a celebration of dance. Dancing is one of the things that unites us, regardless of age, background or social standing. You can have just as much fun on the dancefloor as any millionaire.” : : info: audiophile@goqnotes.com
NEWS
‘Gay It Forward’ brings deals to the Queen City Brainchilds Dan Mauney and Michael Rusk localize Groupon-like discounts for LGBT-friendly businesses
CHARLOTTE — The economy is still limping along and plenty of folks are looking for ways to save a dime. A frequent shopper card here and a few coupons there can add up to big savings at the end of the month. Two gay Charlotteans want to add a different spin to the coupon craze. Saving money is good. Saving while also giving back is better. Dan Mauney, of Takeover Friday fame, and Michael Rusk are launching this month their new “Gay It Forward” coupons. Daily and weekly deals and promotions for area restaurants, salons, retail outlets and other businesses are on their list of special giveaways for local LGBT community members. “We started it just this year and we birthed the idea and it’s interesting how the concept developed,” Mauney says. Gay It Forward, or “GIF” (pronounce the word “gift,” without the “t”) as Mauney calls it, combines community buying power and community service. Consumers will
be able to choose to donate a portion of their purchases from gayitforwardcoupon. com to several local and national LGBT non-profits, including Time Out Youth, the Regional AIDS Interfaith Network, the LGBT Community Center of Charlotte, the Human Rights Campaign and Campus Pride. A spin off of the “pay it forward” meme, Mauney says the idea for the name came from an episode of “Will & Grace.” “It was in a scene with Will and Jack,” Mauney says. “Jack says, ‘I guess we need to gay it forward,’ and Will responds, ‘You’ve been wanting to say that for a long time.’ It all just kind of added up.” Mauney says he and Rusk will work with LGBT-friendly businesses that are mostly locally- and independently-owned. They say such a model is a departure from other LGBTfocused coupon dealmakers who often focus on large, national brands. GIF’s businesses
will include popular restaurants and retail stores and Mauney says they’re even considering including services like oil changes. “We’re going to reach out even to car garages,” he says. “As a gay man, I’m not probably your most butch person and for me to walk into a garage, I want to make sure they have my interest at heart and treat me with respect.” Mauney says GIF will serve many purposes. Some will simply see it as a way to save a buck. Others, he hopes, will see the effort’s educational value. “As a community we do need to be mindful, with the world we live in today, that we are supporting those who support our community,” he says. “We are using GIF as an educational piece to show people that there are businesses that support our community. We might not have a deal for you, but it is still educational.” Unity, Mauney says, is important to the local community. “There’s power in numbers — I’ve said that from day one,” he says. “When I know someone has a similar interest, we can unite. That is important. Two voices are louder than one.” : : info: Learn more about Gay It Forward, which launches this month, at gayitforwardcoupon.com. — by Matt Comer
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NC Pride still a great party Community strong in face of anti-gay amendment by David Stout david@goqnotes.com
DURHAM — In the hit song “1999” Prince sings about his defiant intention to celebrate in the face of an impending cataclysm. The track would have been an appropriate theme for the 2011 NC Pride Fest and Parade, held Saturday, Sept. 24 in Durham on Duke University’s East Campus, where the mood was almost surprisingly lighthearted given the potential political catastrophe that looms. Rather than the nuclear annihilation that threatens the song’s protagonist, North Carolina’s LGBT community faces a bruising May 2012 ballot battle over an anti-LGBT constitutional amendment that would not only limit marriage to one man and one woman, but also prohibit any recognition of same-sex relationships — possibly even by private agencies or businesses that currently offer domestic partner benefits to their workers. While a scattering of anti-amendment signs were seen throughout the day, among the teeming crowd of revelers the most prominent sign of the coming fight was the small “No H8” icon painted on many of the broadly smiling faces. The general air of levity that blanketed the Pride parade and festival could be misconstrued as fiddling while Rome burns, but it was more an act of rebellion, a refusal to surrender joy. Even a mid-afternoon deluge of rain couldn’t dampen spirits. Attendees smiled and laughed as they darted through the downpour, most settling under the vendor tents to wait out the bad weather. Significant among the day’s speakers was a representative of Sen. Kay Hagan who revealed the Democratic senator’s decision to become a cosponsor of the federal Employment Non-Discrimination Act. If approved, the bill will add sexual orientation and gender identity to the list of federally-protected classes with regard to fair hiring and employment practices. This past June, the presenting organization behind NC Pride, Pride Committee of North Carolina, had their federal tax-exempt status revoked for non-compliance with required IRS tax filings. In May 2010, qnotes uncovered the group’s failure to submit Forms 990 over multiple years, which led to the revocation. We have subsequently published several reports on the situation. Pride Committee Director John Short told qnotes in a July 2011 email: “We now expect to have our 501c3 status restored by December of this year.” He added that we will be sent a copy of the group’s IRS Form 990 the same month. qnotes will publish a follow-up/ wrap-up article at that time. : :
qpoll Do you believe actions like Asheville’s We Do Campaign will benefit or harm the community’s campaign against an anti-LGBT state constitutional amendment? See the options and vote: goqnotes.com/to/qpoll
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NEWS
Asheville couples say ‘We Do’ Direct action campaign called ‘strategic mistake’ by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com
ASHEVILLE — Nearly two dozen sameOct. 3. “The We Do Campaign is about peoday to the transgender person who is not sex couples and their supporters participated ple having the courage to stand up to laws protected from employment discrimination.” in a campaign recently to raise awareness that are immoral and unjust. The people The campaign has come under fire from on anti-LGBT discrimination in marriage. taking part in this action are called to act, anti-gay lobbyist and North Carolina Values The “We Do” Campaign by the Coalition for not just on their own behalf, but on behalf Coalition Executive Director Tami Fitzgerald. Southern Equality was launched on Oct. 3 and of the large and diverse community of LGBT She told The Associated Press that the carried through Oct. 14. people in our state, many of whom cannot Asheville campaign exemplifies why sameRev. Kathryn Cartledge and Elizabeth be out because of very real concerns about sex marriage remains possible even with Eve, her partner of 30 years, were among their safety and security — from the gay state laws banning it. three same-sex couples to request maryouth who endures bullying at school each “I think it makes our case why we need riage licenses from the an amendment,” Fitzgerald told AP Buncombe County Register writer Tom Breen. “When people of Deeds on the first day of see that, they’re going to be conthe campaign. They were cerned, and they’re going to take it denied the opportunity to fill as a sign of aggression on the part out the paperwork. Two other of people who advocate for samecouples joined them along sex marriage.” with a group of supporters We Do campaign organizers including state Reps. Susan said the effort is meant to highlight Fisher (D-Buncombe) and citizens’ “courage to stand up to Patsy Keever (D-Buncombe), laws that are immoral and unjust.” Asheville City Councilmember “With respect to Mrs. Fitzgerald, Gordon Smith and the Rev. her argument is based in bigotry,” Joe Hoffman, a local straight Beach-Ferrara told qnotes. “We’re ally and LGBT advocate. calling for full equality. Whether the “Today, we launch an amendment passes or fails, LGBT effort that will grow across people will still be second-class the South,” Campaign for citizens in North Carolina and that is Southern Equality (southunjust. I’d invite [Fitzgerald] to take ernequality.org) Executive Rev. Kathryn Cartledge and Elizabeth Eve are denied a marriage license on Oct. 3 some time to think long and hard on Director Jasmine Beachat the Buncombe County Register of Deeds. Ferrara said in a release on Photo Credit: Campaign for Southern Equality see Campaign on 17
Oct. 15-28 . 2011
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out in the stars by charlene lichtenstein qnotes contributor
October 15 - 28
Mercury and Venus conjunct in Scorpio and oppose retro Jupiter. Little, passing thoughts can lead to passionate, over the top actions in rapid time. N’er a slip betwixt the mind and the lip. Just don’t trip on your tongue, honey. Oops! LIBRA (09.24-10.23) If money is tight and the job feels like a never-ending mind game, blame forces beyond your control for the worker discontent. Gay Libras feel the urge to rebel and toss off the chains of their economic oppressors. I’m all for a good fight, but wait before you react…and overreact. You soon see the beauty of a little green in your lavender and will no longer be blue. SCORPIO (10.24-11.22) Proud Scorps become an uncontrollable tour de force, like a tornado or an earthquake. Channel your dreams, desires and even your frustrations into beneficial action like lifting weights or running a marathon. Too much undirected energy can wreak havoc with your landscape and cause you to scuttle otherwise well established plans. Channel or change channels. SAGITTARIUS (11.23-12.22) Your imagination runs amok and your intuition can be way off base. Gay Archers can be all mouth and no thought. If you cannot concentrate on just being the former, zip the lip and reflect dispassionately without reacting, especially around family. Happily, this means that you can spend some quality time alone. No one will call. Believe me. CAPRICORN (12.23-01.20) A friend in need becomes excessively cloying. Pink Caps are apt to come off a little flinty when compadres come knocking. Avoid the temptation to wag a finger at their fecklessness. Opinionated commentary backfires, but compassion rules. Simply keep an open mind and a closed wallet when the sob stories begin. Pretend to be moved. Carry an onion in case. AQUARIUS (01.21-02.19) Aqueerians question their direction in life. How much is the all corporate strain and pain worth? How much do you have to compromise for professional success? These questions can be posed, but not adequately answered now. Stay on track and keep an eye on that open corner office before cashing in your chips and leaving the table. PISCES (02.20-03.20) Guppies are liable to blurt out all the wrong things to folks they do not know well. So, what else is new? First impressions certainly have lasting impact now, so be very cognizant of how you come off. If you trip on your big lip, follow this simple sequence — smile, apologize, leave. Otherwise, hang around folks who know you very, very well, warts, farts and all. ARIES (03.21-04.20) Gay Rams may crunch a few
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toes in their dance of love. Life is a ball, but will the fates turn your golden carriage into an overripe pumpkin? Before you find yourself without a royal consort, stop, look, listen, but don’t react to idle trashy gossip. You could find your face on page one, but just wave, smile and strut your stuff. The show must go on and so will you. TAURUS (04.21-05.21) Maybe it’s the little things that you do that drive partners so darn crazy now. Queer Bulls may simply choose to spend a few days on their own to avoid any possible flare-ups. You are tempted to implement changes without consulting the “changee.” Why bother doing anything dramatic right now? If you are going to push and pull, let it be mutual. GEMINI (05.22-06.21) If long- and short-term employment prospects are found wanting now, blame the economic downturn on bad timing. Pink Twins burn the midnight oil and no one seems to notice. You propose great ideas only to have them co-opted and bastardized. Don’t despair. Just thank goodness you still have many wealthy pals who are willing to support you…err…emotionally. CANCER (06.22-07.23) Gay Crabs find over the top and uncontrollable sun, fun and frolic. Your best party plans are upended and tossed into the Cuisinart of chance. This has its advantages if you are willing to be carried along with the tide. If not, bury yourself in work. It may be lonely at the top, but, at least, you’ll have a personal assistant to…ahem…take dictation. LEO (07.24-08.23) Sexual miscommunication pales next to the havoc that is created between various family members or in your home life. Proud Lions have full personal plates and are advised to keep their jolly sense of humor as the fates scramble their assorted eggs. Why not take that long awaited vacation? By the time you return, the dust will settle and be pushed back under the rug. VIRGO (08.24-09.23) They say that actions speak louder and prouder than words, but now your words and actions carry a pretty powerful and international punch. Queer Virgins should choose their moves carefully before they chew the scenery and step on others’ lines. All will go well if you can probe the hot issues a little more deeply and meaningfully with a small group of athletic-looking supporters. © 2011 Madam Lichtenstein, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Entertainment. info: Visit www.TheStarryEye.com for e-greetings, horoscopes and Pride jewelry. My book “HerScopes: A Guide To Astrology For Lesbians” from Simon & Schuster is available at bookstores and major booksites.
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never! Maybe, when you’re on your deathbed, when you can’t feel the excitement of life anymore, then, and only then, can you take the night off. (Check out my cartoon to follow my road map on how to deal with this sort of road block.)
tell trinity by trinity qnotes contributor
Love at first sight isn’t easy with glasses?
Dear Trinity, My best friend keeps pushing me to get rid of my glasses and get contacts. He says it will help my dating life and my sex life. But, what’s wrong with glasses? Eye Contact(s), Kansas City, MO Dear Eye Contact(s), If truth be told, glasses hide your face, block your eyes and get in the way of kissing. In other words, honey, bachelors with glasses must also own contacts. Yes, glasses are convenient and make you look sophisticated, but contacts let others see into your eyes, to trust your face and to feel like they’re getting a sense of you, maybe even experience love at first sight. The eyes are the key to the soul, as well as to better dating. Hello Trinity, After so many bad dates, when is it time to just accept that I’m single forever? Giving Up, Daytona Beach, FL Hello Giving Up, When is it time? Well, when is it time for a baby to stop trying to stand up or a new driver to stop trying to drive or an athlete to stop trying to accelerate? Sorry, pumpkin, but the answer is
Dearest Trinity, My boyfriend ended our two-year relationship recently. Sometimes, I’m fine and sometimes I’m all depressed. What should I do? Dealing With It, Billings, MT
Dearest DWI, There are four stages of dealing with a death (and a break up): shock, sadness, anger and (finally) resolution. Resolution takes the longest and has the most emotional waves of happy, sad, anger and eventual peace. Breaking up means taking a journey back through all the emotions you felt on your way toward loving someone. Eventually, sweetie, you will learn to live without their money, I mean their problems, I mean without them. Hey Trinity, My partner and I are thinking about opening up our relationship. Do you think it will be negative or positive for us as a couple of six years? Opening Night Jitters, Palm Springs, CA Hey Opening Night Jitters, There are many positive and negative realities to an open rela-
tionship. I printed the positive ones a few columns back, so darling, after years of thought here’s: Trinity’s Negative Realities For Starting An Open Relationship 1. L ove: If you or your partner falls in love with someone else, everything is over. 2. D iseases: If one of you ”slips” up, the other one couldl also catch the “slipper.” 3. B alance: If one partner gets too crazy while the other one hardly indulges at all, there will be a major imbalance. 4. D issatisfaction: If someone else pleases your partner more than you, than the sex between you two may get boring or non-existent. 5. J ealousy: If you bring someone home for yourself or a third person for both of you, but he/she is more into one of you, someone may get jealous. 6. T he Game: If you think finding sex or other people to have an open relationship with is easy, you may just find out that it’s a very time-consuming game. 7. T he Search: If finding someone else means going out, searching the internet and so on, that means less time to work on your own relationship. 8. T he Rhythm: If one of you isn’t on the same sexual schedule as the other one, you may not be able to keep both sex-lives going for long. 9. T he Third One: If someone else decides they want one or both of you, you now have to deal with someone else’s stalking, obsessions or desires. 10. Lastly, Your Other Problems: If you start an open relationship, this doesn’t mean your other problems will disappear or any new problems won’t appear! : : — With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama, and now performs globally. info: www.telltrinity.com . Trinity@telltrinity.com Sponsored by: Provincetown Business Guild 800-637-8696 . www.ptown.org
Oct. 15-28 . 2011
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Support groups provide safe haven continued from page 1
“I’ve gotten to recognize and know people and care about people outside of my personal circle and to feel like I’m a part of something larger.” Ann Hooper is among Mosteller’s new circle of friends and acquaintances. In 2003, Hooper was diagnosed with breast cancer. Like Mosteller, she’s worked with Circle Up to raise awareness and funds for a cure. The group has raised more than $400,000 since its inception. “I think that’s a pretty incredible thing,” Hooper says. She considers herself a survivor, as do many other women who have battled breast cancer. Yet, the Komen race and Circle Up’s mission aren’t purely celebratory; there’s a mission and purpose to it all, she says. “The race celebrates survivorhood and that we are going to be active to find a cure,” Hooper says, “but I don’t see it as
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a big personal celebration; I’m just trying to be involved. We are being proactive and that will, I hope, be of some benefit to younger women.” Jill Burgess is also a survivor. She received her diagnosis in 2004. Surgery, chemotherapy and radiation therapy followed. “I’m doing okay so far,” she says. Burgess had a leg-up when she first heard the news. A radiation therapist, she’d helped treat plenty of cancer patients before. “I think that helped in a lot of ways,” she says. “I knew what to expect, though at the same time, I was sort of frightful because I knew what everyone went through.” Burgess, too, has turned to a large circle of friends and loved one. Healing Dragons is a competitive dragon boat racing team. Established in 2009, it has participated in competitions across the South. For Burgess, it’s been a welcome support system full of friends.
“We come together as a team to practice, to go to races; we support each other,” she says. “We’re like a big family.” Coming together among others with similar struggles has provided Burgess new insights into her life. “Everyone can relate to what you’re going through or what you have gone through,” she says. “You can talk about it if you want and they all understand what you’ve been through.” The team’s competitive, athletic nature also has positive benefits. “By exercising, you start feeling better about yourself and you start feeling better physically and mentally,” she says. “The exercise is a tremendous help.” Burgess has simple advice for women just now facing the prospects of a breast cancer diagnosis. “Take time to process the diagnosis,” Burgess says. “Then find a support system,
whether it be family or friends or a team like Healing Dragons. Find a place where people understand.” Hooper says breast cancer, traditionally seen as a women’s disease, really affects all people. “Many of our guy friends have stepped up,” she says. “They’ve got mothers and sisters.” Mosteller says she’s learned a lot about love and courage in the years she’s been active with Circle Up. Her recently-passed friend, she says, was an “unbelievable woman with courage and strength.” “When you have people like that in your life, it teaches you that you can be strong and persevere in the face of anything,” Mosteller says. “If she could be as strong and caring and go on the way she did, certainly I can handle any situation that comes my way, too.” : :
Campaign strategy questioned
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why she’s investing so much time and energy to pass this bigoted legislation.� Other LGBT activists are being a bit more cautious in their actions and messaging. Some grassroots organizers, meeting to network and brainstorm strategy in Charlotte, expressed concern over the potential for the Asheville campaign to backfire. They are focusing on more strategic outreach and campaign activities. “This will be a get-out-the-vote campaign,� Scott Bishop, a volunteer Equality North Carolina and Human Rights Campaign organizer, said. “We need to mobilize as many people as possible and get them to the polls on [May 8].� Beach-Ferrera said members of her group anticipated such cautionary critiques, caused in part, she said, by the very laws her group is actively advocating against. “What makes this so insidious is that laws that treat people as second-class citizens make us com-
plicit in our own persecution,� she said. “Laws like these hurt everyone. They hurt the people they are being enforced against and the people whose job is it to enforce them.� Community members in Charlotte had planned an awareness march and rally for Oct. 15 where they will encourage attendees to speak out in love. “Love has a lot more power than anger,� said rally organizer Noelle DeAtley. “We can’t afford to be angry. True love — you can’t beat it with hate and fear.� The Campaign for Southern Equality’s “We Do� campaign ran through Oct. 14 and ended with a daylong series of events including a public action and public blessing of same-sex couples. As of press time, 14 couples had attempted to obtain marriage licenses and none had been allowed to apply. Organizers said a civil disobedience was planned for Friday, Oct. 14. : : more: Keep up with the latest news on the antiLGBT constitutional amendment at goqnotes.com.
Michael ‘Billy’ Belger Michael “Billy� Belger, age 47, passed away on Sept. 30, 2011, peacefully at his home in Charlotte, N.C., after a long illness. Billy was born on Dec.15, 1963, in Brunswick, Maine, and grew up in Jacksonville, Fla. He had lived in Charlotte since 1998. He is survived by his husband Joseph, mother Mavis, sister Wanda, brother David, nieces Jami and Sara, nephews Michael and Geoffrey, grand nieces and nephews Kaya, Bella, Brendin, Justin and Michaela, and his faithful companion Lil Man. A huge thank you to all those at Hospice of the Charlotte Region, especially to: Patti, Cathy, Martha, and Mark. Per his request, Billy will be cremated and his ashes spread by his family in a private ceremony. In lieu of flowers, in his memory, please donate to your local Hospice organization. Simply Cremations of Charlotte is handling the arrangements.
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Oct. 15-28 . 2011
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Positive Profile
People who are taking the negative out of being positive by Dale Pierce ~ Practice Manager
In this issue’s article, we highlight an inspiring patient profile of a 47-year-old heterosexual woman diagnosed as HIV positive in January 1990. Against all odds she has stayed strong. In order to protect our patient’s anonymity, we will refer to her as Sue. Sue’s story has a tragic beginning. At the age of 17, she was the victim of a sexual assault that would result in her positive status. After getting sick and visiting CMC for what she thought was leukemia, the doctors diagnosed her as HIV positive. In telling her story, she says, “I was confused, I knew nothing about HIV and thought it was a gay disease.” She went through all of the stages of grieving. At first, denial that this could even happen to her and anger that it happened through such horrible circumstances. It took her considerable time before she could accept what had happened. Once she had begun to come to terms with
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everything, she decided it was important to educate herself on HIV/AIDS. She stayed in Charleston, S.C., where her family lived and acted as a positive support system for her. She had lost a child, but she had an 18-month-old beautiful child who was not positive. She found it therapeutic to help educate others and help them protect themselves from infection. In 1991, she became the first woman in the South Carolina school system backed by the PTA to educate students on HIV/AIDS and teach them how to protect themselves. She was given the opportunity to teach programs for students from junior high to college. The students had an extremely positive reaction. One of the obstacles in teaching students about HIV/AIDS was that they may be embarrassed to ask questions or they may not know exactly what to ask. She developed a system in which the students could put the questions into a basket and she would answer them anonymously. She proved to be very effective in addressing their concerns. In 1992, Sue lost her house to Hurricane Hugo and moved back to Charlotte. She began receiving treatment through the Nalle clinic and CMC. This eventually led her to Dr. James Jemsek’s office and ultimately to us here at Rosedale I.D. This was a hard time for Sue. The stigma of being HIV positive was evident. She lost friends and family. Also, she was not
working and being independent and on her own was taking a toll. But, through it all, her positive attitude got her through the struggles. She had a strong mindset and even though she was not religious, her spiritual background gave her strength. She began to manage her illness by making lists of opportunistic infections. In a visit to her clinic she found out that she had a 146 T-cell count and had full blown AIDS. Even with such a serious diagnosis, her spirits stayed high. She says, “I am a person with AIDS only when I have time, I am a mother and a community person first.” Her family has become supportive. She struggles with telling her father the story of her sexual assault, but still finds great support in her relationship with him. Through all the struggles and programs getting shut down, all she has to say is “life bites” and then she moves on. She feels like an initial diagnosis should be a time for people to educate themselves, not to feel sorry for themselves. She has experienced great doctors throughout her care experience, especially at Rosedale, I.D. She says that at Rosedale there is a great comfort level and everyone genuinely cares about her and wants to treat her as a whole person, while most clinics just treat the disease. From the front desk staff, to the nursing staff, to the doctor, everyone makes her feel welcome and important.
Sue says that the things that happen at Rosedale I.D., like the food pantry, the outreach programs, the patient advocate programs, the new pharmacy, all play a part in making Rosedale the ideal choice, in her opinion, for HIV care in the Carolinas. We are flattered and personally consider Sue part of our family here. When looking back at all of her experiences she refers to herself as a “tainted Barbie doll.” She never thought that she would ever have been diagnosed as HIV positive being a heterosexual woman in the South. She has triumphed over all adversity that has been placed in front of her, but still battles the same issues that all positive individuals do. She hates that the lack of education and stigma, especially in the South, is still there. Young people are “letting their guard down” when it comes to this disease. HIV is still a major issue in our society and only through education and compassion can we make the situation better. After a long break from speaking, Sue has been speaking out and volunteering more recently, trying this time to show her “survival attitude and instinct.” We are grateful to Sue for sharing her story and her continued legacy of survival. Don’t forget to visit our website at rosedaleid.com and friend us on Facebook for community and clinical updates. — Sponsored Content —
Oct. 18 • Charlotte Jennifer Baumgardner The University of North Carolina at Charlotte presents bisexual activist Jennifer Baumgardner for this year’s OutSpoken Speakers Series. Baumgardner, author of “Look Both Ways: Bisexual Politics,” will also be named the campus’ first “activist in residence,” Oct. 17-21 during which other campus activities are planned. Event is free and open to the public. Hourly visitor parking is available in the Cone Parking Deck. McKnight Hall, Cone University Center. 7 p.m. outspoken.uncc.edu. Oct. 18 • Charlotte Guild: Jonathan Martin The Charlotte Business Guild holds its monthly dinner meeting with the Charlotte Symphony Orchestra’s Jonathan Martin. Founded in 1932, the Charlotte Symphony aspires to serve the whole community through Classical music that educates, entertains and enriches the human spirit. The LGBT Community Center of Charlotte, 820 Hamilton St., Suite B11. 5:30-8 p.m. $20, includes appetizer, dinner, dessert and tea. Cash bar available. charlottebusinessguild.org.
Oct. 22 • Charlotte Pride Band concert The Charlotte Pride Band hosts the first concert of their new season. Unitarian Universalist Church of Charlotte, 234 N. Sharon Amity Rd. 7-9 p.m. Visit charlottepride band.org for more information on the show, the season, tickets and more. Oct. 21 • Charlotte Heroes vs. Villains Just Twirl hosts a special Halloween party with Atlanta’s DJ Jay McCracken. Marigny Dance Club, 1440 S. Tryon St., Suite 110. 10 p.m. $10. justtwirl.com. Oct. 26-Nov. 13 • Chapel Hill Songs and stories from the Freedom Ride PlayMakers Repertory Company presents “The Parchman Hour: Songs and Stories from the ‘61 Freedom Riders.’” Paul Green Theatre, Center for Dramatic Art at UNC, 150 Country Club Rd. Various dates/times. Various prices. playmakersrep.org.
Oct. 18 • Charlotte Wine tasting Petra’s hosts a wine testing to kick off their new “Half-Priced Bottles of Wine Tuesdays.” Petra’s, 1919 Commonwealth Ave. 8 p.m. petraspianobar.com.
Oct. 27 • Chapel Hill Power of Attorney clinic Lambda Law Student Association presents a free Healthcare Power of Attorney clinic. Dinner will be served. Space is limited; RSVP to Rachel Hall at lambdalawunc@ gmail.com. UNC School of Law, 160 Ridge Rd. 6-8:30 p.m. studentorgs.law.unc.edu/ llsa/poa/default.aspx.
Oct 20 • Charlotte Bear Coffee The organizers of Charlotte’s monthly Bear Dinner gather for coffee and informal, friendly conversation at Amelie’s in NoDa. 2424 N. Davidson St. 7:30-10:30 p.m.
Oct. 28 • Charlotte Barn dance Southern Country Charlotte hosts its monthly barn dance at Hartigan’s with DJ Tammy. 601 S. Cedar St. 10 p.m. $3. southerncountry charlotte.com.
Oct. 28 • Charlotte Choral workshop Gay Men’s Chorus of Charlotte hosts a free choral workshop with Joseph Jennings, former artistic director of world-renowned, all-male ensemble Chanticleer. Event is free, but registration is encouraged. St. Martin’s Episcopal Preschool. 1510 E. 7th St. gmccharlotte.org. Oct. 28-Nov. 12 • Charlotte ‘For the Love of Harlem’ Openly gay Charlottean Jermaine Nakia Lee presents his musical “For the Love of Harlem,” profiling the lives and loves of some of the most legendary stars of the Harlem Renaissance. Duke Energy Theatre at Spirit Square, 345 N. College St. Various dates/ times. Various prices. blumenthalarts.org. Oct. 29 • Salisbury Autumn Soirée The Salisbury/Rowan County chapter of PFLAG hosts its annual autumn party and fundraiser to benefit its scholarships for LGBT students. Looking Glass Artist Collective, 405 N. Lee St. For more information see our news note on page 8 or visit salisbury-pflag.org. Nov. 12 • Winston-Salem Film: ‘Summer Storm’ OUT at the Movies Winston-Salem presents a screening of “Summer Storm.” For more information on the film, visit outatthemovieswinston.org. University of North Carolina School of the Arts, ACE Theatre Complex, 1533 S. Main St. 7 p.m. Nov. 12 • Greensboro Equality Conference and Gala Equality North Carolina hosts its fifth annual
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events qnotes goqnotes.com/qguide/events
arts. entertainment. news. views. Equality Conference and Gala. The day-long conference will be held at the Elliott University Center on the campus of the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. The evening gala, featuring special keynotes and the group’s annual awards, will be held at the Empire Room in downtown Greensboro. For more details see our news note on page 8 or visit equalitync.org. Nov. 13 • Charlotte Evening of Hope Rosedale I.D. hosts its second annual Evening of Hope and Inspiration with award-winning Gospel singers The Martins, benefiting Rosedale’s Jeanne White Ginder Food Pantry. McGlohon Theatre, 345 N. College St. 7:30 p.m. Tickets available at CarolinaTix.org. Submit your events online at goqnotes.com/qguide/ events/submit
A&E
UNCC Theatre presents ‘Cloud 9’ The University of North Carolina at Charlotte Department of Theatre presents “Cloud 9,” a play by Caryl Churchill. The comedy takes the audience through a journey of self-indentity and genderbending, using controversial discussion of sexuality and gender to portray the playwright’s message of acceptance and departure from traditional social roles. The play runs Oct. 19-29 at Robinson Hall on the campus of UNCC. qnotes editor Matt Comer will participate in a talkback with director Kelly Ryan after the play’s Friday, Oct. 21 performance. To buy tickets or for more information, visit unccboxoffice. universitytickets.com. : : more: Catch qnotes’ special online-only Q&A with director Kelly Ryan at goqnotes.com.
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