LGBTQ Autism: Our Families, Our Friends and Ourselves

BY DAVID NELSON

Now that LGBTQ autism is recognized by researchers and others in the clinical world, what does it mean to those of us who live with it every day?

In the same way that some individuals were LGBTQ before they were born, so too are those who were autistic before they were born. The growing knowledge that a disproportionate number of individuals are both LGBTQ and autistic is fascinating our families, our friends and ourselves.

LGBTQ autism can be difficult to understand, leaving many families overwhelmed. But, better angels touch everyone in amazing ways. For most LGBTQ-autism children or adults of any age, our families protect us. We know that they are our heroes.

Our friends are those in our lives who, like so many others, are helpful to us even if our behaviors seem unusual. We see eye rolls from others, and hear stage whispers from some. And, we know criticism. Most of us were taught criticism before we learned how to respond to it.

Criticism intensifies the current suicide crisis among Utah youth, and particularly LGBTQ and autistic youth with higher rates of early death. With acceptance, inclusion and love, we will stop this crisis.

We are complex and varied individuals with exceptional abilities and disabilities. We are diverse. Many autists prefer being regarded as individuals rather than a group because we are so different. The same is true about LGBTQ individuals who reinvent ourselves personally, politically and socially.

Because many of us grew up before there was much understanding of sexual and gender differences, much less the autism spectrum, I call ourselves “survivors” as we were left to our own skills in the pursuit of improving our lives. Evolving accommodations improved LGBTQ lives since the Stonewall uprising, and ongoing accommodations are improving LGBTQ-autism lives now.

The late San Francisco supervisor, Harvey Milk, would have loved watching these developments. He expressed himself as a clown almost as often as he expressed himself as the gay elected official that he was. Learning that different communities would embrace his enthusiasm for reimagining our world in some new ways would have excited him.

I describe our LGBTQ-autism community as “living at the intersection of Fabulous Boulevard and Cosplay Street.” Each of us has prodigious interests in our fantasies, our identities, our orientations, our genders and our inclusion in the global community.

Through those of us who persevere, all lives can surely get better.

David Nelson is an LGBTQ autist and LGBTQ-autism advocate, and has served as a political activist for over 37 years with abilities which include conducting public relations, developing legislation, and advising or working with government agencies and corporations … without having spent a moment in a law-school classroom as a student.