MATRONS OF MAYHEM Bring Drag Bingo and Fun to Salt Lake City to Raise Money for Charities

BY MICHAEL AARON, AKA PANSY PAP SMEARPHOTOS BY BRAD MONTGOMERY

While Drag Bingo is only recently sweeping the nation, it has been around for nearly two decades in the Salt Lake Valley. Yes, those over-the-top, tell-it-like-it-is, men-dressedas-women plucking balls from the bingo cage have been in the land of Zion for a very long time.

These aren’t your typical “trying to be pretty women” drag queens. These “girls” do what is known as camp drag — where they leave the facial hair (though often bespeckled with glitter), eschew “tucking,” and make no pretense that they look, sound, or act like the fairer sex.

The current definition of camp drag is “an aesthetic style and sensibility that regards something as appealing because of its bad taste and ironic value.” Yup. Sounds about right. The Matrons of Mayhem host Third Friday Drag Bingo on the … third Fridays … of the month raising money for a variety of charities, from animal rescues to health and arts organizations at First Baptist Church, kitty-corner from East High School.

They also do a First Sunday bingo at Club Try-Angles and act as hostesses for the Big Gay Fun Bus.

And, of course, you will find them in all their gloriousness at Utah Pride and other local Pride Festivals, as well as Q Lagoon Day and the streets of Park City during the Sundance Film Festival. They’ve also participated in fundraising events for the Utah Stonewall Democrats, who often take up a full table at the monthly bingos, and Salt Lake Acting Company.

“We tend to be very selective with what we call ‘outside events,’” said Courtney Moser who, as Petunia Pap Smear, is known as the grande dame of the group. “With the large number of monthly events we do, it can become a bit of a burden and we don’t want to burn out our queens.”

Charities

The charities the group raises funds for are chosen by the Matrons at a group meeting in December.

“More and more nonprofit organizations are wanting us to do bingos for them, especially those who come for another charity’s event,” Moser explained. “Some of the groups are just no-brainers for us, as they often come and support other bingo nights through the year and have a history of working hard at filling the hall for their own event and finding great prizes for winners.”

“Others are new to us and we have great discussions at our meeting about the importance of what the amount of money we raise can do for them,” Moser continued.

The typical bingo night raises somewhere around $2,500 to $3,000 for the charity, with some stand-outs raising near $5,000.

In November of last year, a particularly wild bingo night brought a record-breaking $10,700 for Camp Hobé, a summer camp program for children being treated for cancer and similarly-treated disorders and their families.

Courtney Moser, aka Petunia Pap Smear, cooling off before the start of Third riday Bingo.

Why drag bingo?

“As a gay kid growing up on an Idaho farm in a staunchly Mormon family, I never felt like I could be myself at home,” explained Moser. “I escaped this emotional prison by being the class clown in my tiny high school. But only to a limited extent.”

“Now that I’m free from those youthful constraints as an out adult, I think I am Petunia because I need to let my repressed sense of humor come out and play,” Moser continued.

Moser was brought into the Matrons by Don Steward, who was known as Ruby Ridge and appeared in these pages in the column, “Mountain Meadow Mascara.” Steward was one of the first Matrons and the person responsible for bringing bingo to First Baptist Church.

“I’m so grateful that all those years ago Ruby Ridge asked me to help her with Third Friday Bingo,” Moser said. “I derive extreme joy when I see other people’s smiles light up when they see us and ask to pose with us for photos. Perhaps I should have been a circus clown. Out of costume, I can never ask people for donations, but under the wig and behind the glasses, I have much more courage for such things. My heart swells with pride every time the audience donates to the many worthy charities.”

“Drag Bingo is an area where people feel at ease to be themselves around a group that encourages self-expression and love for each other,” said Terence Waters, who helps at the money table. “I truly feel like I’m with a family every month I come to volunteer unlike any other group I’ve been with.”

Buddy Eyre as Contasia VonClappe

“The events are fun, we don’t take ourselves seriously, we’re all friends that love getting together, and we get to raise money for charity? Why wouldn’t I participate?” said Buddy Eyre, whose drag personae is known as Contasia VonClappe. “I knew a few Matrons prior to being asked to participate and I loved what they were doing in the community. I’m a pop culture junkie and a theater geek, and the idea of putting together a fun costume or characters together sounded amazing.”

“Seeing the reactions we get each month as we parade our clown make-up around the hall each month is addictive. It’s people having actual fun. It’s nice to see these days,” Eyre continued.

“I’m generally an extrovert, but I camp it up as much as possible when I’m at bingo. Overall, my character, Contasia Von- Clappe, is a lot gutsier than I would ever be. Contasia will say things to audience members, wearing a wig and a full face of make-up that Buddy would never say. It’s my ‘Ben Nye’ Armor,” Eyre said.

“People are usually shocked to find out I’m actually very shy and insecure. But it’s true when I have to be me,” said Michael Nielsen, aka Sparkles Del Tassel. “Put on a wig, boobs, butt, and tassels, and there is very little I won’t do, especially if it raises money and awareness for good causes. Being Sparkles allows me to fulfill my desire to help others.”

There are several Matrons volunteers who don’t get all “dolled up.” One is sound engineer Terry Gillman, who has been involved in Salt Lake’s LGBTQ community since the 80s.

“I joined because it looked like fun! I stayed because the audience is so very generous, both with their pocketbooks and their spirit,” Gillman said. “I get to hang out with 200 of my dearest friends every month. Also, I’ve loved the friendship I’ve gained with the cast and support crew. It’s been a privilege to help this grow so much in the last couple of years.”

Drag Bingo

“I feel drag bingo is becoming so prevalent as a source of entertainment because it creates a safe space of creativity, excitement, charity, and fun,” said newly inducted queen Bella Da Balle, who by day is known as Holden Williams. “It doesn’t matter what demographic or background you come from, you are able to step in and feel a sense of community with complete strangers as you play a game of bingo and help support a good cause. Even in Salt Lake City when you look upon the crowd you see individuals from all different generations, ethnicities, cultures, and economic backgrounds, which to me is very exciting.”

Michael Nielsen as Sparkles Del Tassle

Becky Moss

“While RuPaul drug drag into the mainstream, for everyone to see, drag bingo has been around since the beginning of time (just ask Petunia and Sparkles), VonClappe said. “RuPaul made drag socially acceptable, and with the world in turmoil, it’s nice to get everyone together for an evening filled with love, charity, and acceptance. You can forget about your troubles, bring the entire family (and cute boyfriends) and spend the evening raising money for a different fabulous charity each month.”

History

If you wanted to see drag in Salt Lake City at the start of the new millennium, chances are you typically sought out the Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire. Then, as now, every detail of the Court’s productions — from lavish sets and outfits to fabulous performances — screamed elegance. But Rand Bodily didn’t want glamour and polish; he wanted polyester and paisley. He wanted obvious foam bust lines and middle-aged men in bouffants and glittery goatees. He wanted funny. “The RCSGE shows were great, but I thought people weren’t having fun at them,” he remembers. “So we needed something different.”

For Bodily, that something different came in the guise of the Denver Cycle Sluts, a Colorado-based camp drag troupe whose thrift store dresses and over-thetop mascara never concealed their masculine figures and who regularly performed to benefit local charities. Inspired by the Cycle Sluts’ antics and generosity, Bodily took the name Lucky Charms and teamed up with friends Chris Trujillo (Andromeda Strange), Clark Monk (Beneatha Serta), and Don Steward (Ruby Ridge) to form the Utah Cyber Sluts.

Christopher Rose as Prarie Rose

Brynned Green as Liberty Belle

Josh Tipton as Adora Belle

“The Cycle Sluts really mothered us,” Bodily remembers. “They showed us how to run a group like this, and even gave us a farcical ‘passing of the crown’ ceremony.”

Reactions

Perhaps it is a post from the parent of a gender-variant child who comes to each month’s bingo that says it best.

“Friday was bingo with my child’s besties, the Matrons of Mayhem. He looked up at ‘Ms. Petunia’ as she walked onstage and said, ‘Oh, I like her blinking ring!’ I said, ‘Maybe you can tell her,’ so off he ran to sit with her. Short story short, he brought home a blinking ring. When it was time for pictures, ‘Ms. Moeisha’ scooped him right up and made him a princess Matron. During the children’s party foul, ‘Ms. Cherri’ scooped him up and carried him through the room. Later, she scooped him right up again and helped him call a game.

He was so proud. Watching the video this weekend he said, “Mama, I am SUCH a good bingo caller.”

My child wouldn’t stand onstage for two school concerts, but he’ll sure as Hell call a game of drag queen bingo.

He lights up and he loves up in that room every month. I absolutely love seeing my baby in that way. We’ve hugged and cried and danced with people we meet as strangers and leave as friends — and I don’t even like people. I had no idea how much we were missing this time together and with our beautiful community. We’ve grown our village.

In so many ways, I feel like our family has been scooped right up and held tight.

I hope the Matrons know just how much joy and happiness and love they have brought into our lives. We love y’all.”