Happy Horny Days!

BY DR. LAURIE BENNETT-COOK

I can’t possibly be the only one who feels a bit more randy over the holidays. I’m not sure why or what it is, but something about the prospect of sharing and showing some “goodwill toward men.” So now, with the holidays and end of the year upon us, it’s time for a good reminder of a few of the benefits of sex — whether with ourselves or with a partner – sexual energy, expression and play can be very healthy and beneficial.

Sex as a Stress Reducer

Let’s be honest, the holiday season has the ability to create stress for a lot of us. In spite of the ‘jolliness’ of the season, there seems to be a bit of a maddening rush everywhere we go. Taking some time to physically connect with partner(s), or even with just ourselves, can force us to be in a present state, breathe deeply, and focus on pleasure for ourselves. With all we’re doing rushing around to ensure the days ahead are pleasurable for others, it’s good self-care to make a bit of our own time pleasurable and thus a little less stressful.

Lower Blood Pressure

A Scottish study published in the Journal of Biological Psychology states: “Sexual activity prevents increases in blood pressure during stressful events.” Considering the stresses that many experience with the holiday season, this link to blood pressure health could certainly be an incentive to secure some pleasure time for yourself. That alone may be a good gift to enjoy!

Sexual Health = Cardiac Health

A little-known fact is how using our sexiness as a workout is actually good for our hearts. When having sex, our heart rate increases. Thus, sex just may be the most fun type of exercise to be had. Of course, if you feel you might not be healthy enough for a romp under the mistletoe, you can check with your doctor to make sure.

Wrapping Up

One of the best gifts to give a sexual partner is to not give them anything at all. Sexually transmitted infections, while treatable, are generally not something that most people desire. The best way to avoid giving such a gift to another person is to wrap up anything that will be inserted with a condom. Unfortunately, many believe simply wrapping up just prior to penetration is enough. The truth is, many times body fluids are exchanged before hard things find themselves inserted into soft places. Depending on the partner you’re interacting with, barriers may be needed more or less. Only you know your risk factors and should advocate for yourself accordingly.

Condoms can only do so much and only protect what they’re actually in contact with. To further protect from possible STI transmission, don’t shave or brush teeth right before sexual activity. This may sound counterintuitive, but much like preventing the spread of other infections such as the cold or flu, our clean closed skin is our best defense. Shaving and brushing teeth can cause micro-abrasions that create an access point for infection. So waiting a few hours before putting another person’s sexy parts inside any of your sexy parts is a good defense for everyone involved.

One reason I hear from many about why they choose to not wear condoms is because of how restrictive they feel. Truly, one of the most enjoyable facets of penetration into any orifice is feeling the moistness of your partner. To substitute that, place a drop of lube on the inside of your condom prior to placing it on your penis. It will spread around with thrusting and for many, it heightens their sensation.

SEX — is how we all got here. And while society at large may have issues with the concept of sex for the purpose of pleasure, I am here to advocate for just that. Let’s consider just how much of a gift sex can be.

Happy Holidays and Celebrate Safely and Sexily!

Dr. Laurie Bennett-Cook is a Clinical Sexologist who divides her time between Salt Lake City, Utah, and Palm Springs, California. She can be reached at Dr.LaurieBennettCook@gmail.com