The top national and world news since last issue you should know

BY CRAIG OGAN

Don’t Say Gay

FLORIDA: The legislature has passed a bill prohibiting instruction about sexual orientation or gender identity in kindergarten through third grade and places a vague requirement of “age-appropriate” instruction in all grade levels. The Florida governor signed the bill into law. Let the lawsuits begin. GEORGIA: The same day the Florida Legislature passed its bill, similar legislation was filed in the Georgia State Assembly. The bill addresses both the teaching of “critical race theory” and the treatment of LGBTQ+ issues in the classroom. If passed, the bill states, “No private or nonpublic school or program to which shall promote, compel, or encourage classroom discussion of sexual orientation or gender identity in primary grade (K–3) levels or in a manner that is not appropriate for the age and developmental stage of the student.”

The mouse that didn’t roar

After Florida passed its “Don’t Say Gay” law, the state’s largest employer and a major player in legislative doings, Disney, was silent. After criticism from LGBT advocates, the owner of Walt Disney World and EPCOT center in the Orlando area and Disney cruises operating out of the port of Miami, announced they didn’t like the bill. The Florida governor responsed to Disney after signing the bill, “In Florida, our policies have got to be based on the best interest of Florida citizens, not on the musing of woke corporations.” Disney tried to make nice with the LGBT audience by making a $5 million donation to the Human Rights Campaign which, in what may be a first, turned down the donation. HRC’s interim president Joni Madison said, “The Human Rights Campaign will not accept this money from Disney until we see them build on their public commitment.”

WNBA detainee in Russia

WNBA star BRITTNEY GRINER was arrested for smuggling and drug possession in Russia. She was arrested at the Sheremetyevo International Airport when authorities found vape cartridges containing a liquid with hashish oil in her luggage. Russian authorities say that Griner faces up to 10 years in prison if convicted.

Her detainment is perilous since Russia is now sanctioned for the Ukrainian invasion and many US diplomats are being expelled by the Russian government or called home by the U.S. State Department. Until recently Griner’s arrest and detainment haven’t been much of a news item until U.S. Secretary of State Antony Blinken was asked about it at a news conference and answered, “Whenever an American is detained anywhere in the world, we, of course, stand ready to provide every possible assistance, and that includes in Russia.” Griner’s wife, Cherelle, asked for privacy, “Please honor our privacy as we continue to work on getting my wife home safely,” she wrote in her only public statement about the incident.

Hunky Jesus resurrected

Just in time for Easter, the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence return from a COVID hiatus with its annual Easter Celebration, this year themed as “Back to Our Old Habits” at San Francisco’s Dolores park. The celebration includes an Easter egg hunt, story time, and other children’s activities in the morning. In the afternoon, drag icon Peaches Christ hosts a variety show with drag, live performances, and holy acts by the Sisters themselves. Anyone can enter the crowd-pleasing Hunky Jesus costume contest, but only the best costumes and/or hunkiest may survive the initial screening.

Boebert challenge

A member of congress from Colorado’s 3rd District, LAU- REN BOEBERT, who was one of the president’s hecklers at the last State of the Union speech along with Georgia’s MARJORIE TAYLOR-GREENE, is being challenged for reelection by ALEX WALKER, a gay man and newly minted Democrat. He made a splash with a campaign video that shows fecal matter falling from the skies and ends with him declaring, “Colorado needs a bull, not a bullshitter.”

Walker is a political newcomer who has run small businesses and worked in the tech industry, has some conservative views, he favors small government and lower taxes and lighter regulation. He supports passage of the Equality Act while Boebert does not. Due to redistricting, the district has become even more Republican. The optimistic Walker admits he’s in an uphill battle. No protest from any cows for lack of inclusion, yet.

Being seen

Admiral RACHEL LEVINE was named as one of 15 National “Women Of The Year” by USA Today. Levine is the U.S. assistant secretary for health for the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and heads the U.S. Public Health Service Commissioned Corps. This is not a U. S. Navy unit, but she leads a group of 6,000 uniformed public health officers, hence the military honorific. She also represented the District of Columbia as one of 52 “State” winners. US Today reports Levine, 64, a trained pediatrician, became the nation’s highest-ranking openly transgender official with Senate confirmation in March of 2021. LIA THOMAS was first place in the NCAA Women’s 500 Freestyle Finals. She is a swimmer for Pennsylvania State, first on the men’s squad but set the NCAA record in this meet swimming in the women’s competition. Thomas is the first transgender athlete to win a Division I national championship. She placed third in the 200 Freestyle competition losing behind two cis-gendered persons who menstruate.

Fla. chief fired after minority promotions

Fort Lauderdale, Fla.’s first gay police chief has been fired after six months on the job. LARRY SCIROTTO was fired following charges that he hired and promoted in an “improper, minority-first approach.” Three white and one Hispanic police officers filed complaints with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission that accused the chief of promoting unfairly based on race. Witnesses testified Scirotto made clear his intention to promote based on race, gender, or sexual orientation. Fort Lauderdale officials announced, “We serve a very diverse community and that’s important. There are just certain ways that you can do that and do it legally, and other ways that meet that muster.” Scirotto said, “If promoting diversity is the hill I’m going to die on, I will sleep well tonight.”

Straight people in ‘BITCH’ fight over gay movie

“The Power of the Dog” by New Zealand movie director JANE CAMPION is up for every big cinema award around. Cisgender, craggy heart throb, SAM ELLIOTT (who was not in the movie) praised Campion but dissed the movie, saying, the movie was a “piece of shit” because it wasn’t filmed in the American West, and “there’s all these allusions to homosexuality.” The last complaint seemed to indicate he missed the point of the film. Campion’s retort, “I’m sorry, he was being a little bit of a B-I-T-C-H. He’s not a cowboy; he’s an actor.” The movie’s star, BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH, who straightwashed the gay character, chimed in with a woke-word-salad that Elliott was complaining from a “heteronormative existence” and playing into the “massive intolerance within the world at large towards homosexuality.”

Alabama gender affirming medical treatment

Alabama’s proposed “Vulnerable Child Protection Act” would make gender-affirming treatment for transgender adolescents under age 18 a felony. If passed, the law would punish violators with up to 10 years in prison and require school personnel, including counselors, to report information about a student’s gender identity to their parents. The bill passed the Alabama Senate 24–6.

‘Sex ban’ marketing ploy at WEHO gym

West Hollywood gym Crunchers posted a sign, “Attention Members: Please DO NOT HAVE SEX in the Men’s Locker Room!” The gym threatens they’ll jerk the membership of anyone caught jerking a member’s member. A Quebec study found men burned only 101 calories on average during a 24-minute round of sex compared to a 30-minute session on an exercise bike which burned 276 calories. Some speculate this is just a marketing ploy by the gym as now you know where to go for public sex and then a hot shower in West Hollywood.

NFL defensive end released

CARL NASSIB is the first active National Football League player to come out while signed to a team. The Las Vegas Raiders are releasing him and saving his $7.75 million base salary. The Internet commentariat opine Nassib’s performance doesn’t merit his salary. NLF.com, writing in an apparently a foreign language said, “His salary was too rich for a player who played just 242 defensive snaps and earned 1.5 sacks last season” Translation software indicates, “Defensive snaps are defensive plays in which a player participated, and sacks are the tackling of a quarterback making a forward pass.” Nassib revealed his gayness on Instagram last year with no apparent blow back from fans or in the locker room. The release means Nassib can sign with any other team and he’s valuable enough that some team will likely tap him, reported the website.