Gray Love: Stories About Dating and New Relationships After 60’

EDITED BY NAN BAUER-MAGLIN

AND DANIEL E. HOOD, C.2023, RUTGERS UNIVERSITY PRESS, $24.95, 303 PAGES

It was supposed to be a nice night out. But you drove around and around looking for the restaurant, and once you found it, you learned that you needed reservations. Practically before the evening started, you sensed that your food could be as cold as your date. As in “Gray Love,”

edited by Nan Bauer-Maglin and Daniel E. Hood,

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Q Scopes

APRIL

BY SAM KELLEY-MILLS

ARIES March 20–April 19

A failure in communication with a friend can cause some problems. Remember that we are all human, and the failings of others are mistakes, not assaults. More likely than not, a friend’s carefree attitude is simply their way of dealing with their problems. Take a moment to do the same and simply chill out for a bit.

TAURUS Apr 20–May 20

Constant nagging from someone is getting on your nerves. While it may not actually be so bad, the constant pressure is getting you down. Take some time to simply get away and find a sense of normal again. Rest in a place where the mind can reset. Your personal matters and career can wait. Work on yourself now.

GEMINI May 21–June 20

The beauty of nature is going to be a great inspirational source during this time period. With weather that is ever-changing and a hot-and-cold dynamic occurring, much of your duality is represented by the world itself. This could be a good time ing for love wasn’t like this when you were younger.

You thought you’d be happy alone.

After the divorce, the funeral, the last break-up, you didn’t think a little you-time was a bad idea. And it wasn’t – but love, someone to go to the movies with or dine with or snuggle with, seems more and more appealing now. Today, though, as the forty-two essays in this book confirm and as you’ve learned, that’s easier said than done.

You want a partner, someone your age, but you fear becoming a caretaker. You like doing your own thing, but having someone around to do it with would be nice. You have company, but you are “without intimacy.” Or you don’t want a full-time someone, but it’s scary to think about “falling off a ladder alone.”

So you go online because, well, people don’t meet like to be involved with the creative process and share what you see with others.

CANCER June 21–July 22

The beauty of nature is going to be a great inspirational source during this time period. With weather that is ever-changing and a hot-and-cold dynamic occurring, much of your duality is represented by the world itself. This could be a good time to be involved with the creative process and share what you see with others.

LEO July 23–August 22

There’s nothing totally wrong with switching up the orders of operations. The more tasks are piling up, the more boredom tends to set in. Keep things interesting by having dessert first, playing before work, and taking different positions than normal. It’s a good time to break the norms and alter perceptions for the better.

VIRGO August 23–Sep 2 they used to. That’s when you learn that dating sites are generally ripe with people who lie about their ages, who seem clingy, or who want things you can’t give, “the Uncertain, the Angry… the Unattractive,” and – let’s be honest – jerks. Unlike real life circa 1973 or 1993, there’s nobody to vouch for singles online.

The need to flex the muscle of authority could be a turn-off to others. Don’t be so impressed by your accomplishments that it undermines your efforts to gain respect. A friend or lover is finding an obsession rather weary, but don’t let this get you down. Find satisfaction through casual fun and lay off the need to prove yourself.

You wonder, “What would I wear?” You learn about scams the hard way, while tales of love at way-up-there-ages are inspirational. Experimenting with same-sex, different-sex, and different race isn’t off the table, but nobody’s asked – or you did, and it was wonderful and why didn’t you do that before? Love is love. You date the wrong people; you date the right people; you’re exhausted and disappointed. And sometimes, even for a while, you’re someone’s “‘sweetie.’”

According to a study quoted in “Gray Love,” about twenty-five percent of American adults live alone. If you’re one of them and open to a relationship, you need this book.

Just know that this is not a how-to manual. Editors Nan Bauer-Maglin and Daniel E. Hood don’t offer advice in their introduction, and most of their storytellers didn’t Ann-Landers their way into this book. Instead, you’ll read tales of dating and mating gone happily right and very, very wrong, told in ways that will make you laugh, sigh, and know that you’re not alone in your late-life search for love. The mixture here is diverse and wide: if one tale makes you want to swear off dating forever, the next one offers Happily Ever After.

Be aware that a few of the tales inside “Gray Love” flirt with the explicit, and others might ruffle a feather or two. Still, it could be great to share it with a millennial or older GenZ’er. If you see this book on a bookshelf, take it out. Q

LIBRA Sept 23–October 22

Follow through on tasks that have fallen behind. The saying, “better late than never,” can be applied in many ways, whether it be business or the bedroom. Communication has fallen by the wayside, and there is a lot of confusion surrounding your recent actions. Rest assured, others will listen. So explain.

SCORPIO Oct 23–Nov 21

It’s getting warmer, and so is your temperature, Scorpio! It may seem like a prime time to get out there and look for adventure. Stay out of danger by keeping close to those you know, and don’t travel far from home. The ability to control emotional responses may be compromised, especially regarding personal interactions.

SAGITTARIUS

Nov 22–December 20

No is going to desert you at this time, despite a few moments of despair. Stay focused on working on yourself and become your own pleaser. Fate has a way of bringing tragedy in threes, and you’ve already received two in a row. While this may not be quite obvious to some of you, rest assured, some letdown is possible.

CAPRICORN

Dec 21–Jan 19

A fellowship of friends and lovers is going to lead to nice times. Enjoy what you can and do your best to stay safe. There could be drama, but that is to be expected. No one is trying to bring you down, despite some suggestions. Allow good feelings to be channeled into the work you are doing. It never hurts to feel inspired.

AQUARIUS Jan 20–Feb 18

Whatever is troubling you will likely affect others if not kept in check. The worst thing you can do is spread negativity, which has a tendency to bounce back. The best course of action is to take a submissive role and allow others to show what it really means to be happy. Realize that sometimes the best action is no action.

PISCES

Feb 19–Mar 19

During what is turning out to be a lull period, spend time gaining focus. Get involved with projects and meet with people you’ve been putting off for a while. Someone may challenge your opinions in a seemingly offensive manner but don’t take it too hard. It has more to do with a competitive need than discrediting your ideas.