Celebrating the Women of Western Wisconsin
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February 2014
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Where the Heart Is Issue Sarah Stokes talks about leaving TV for family
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Queen of the Castle Magazine y Februar
2014
P.O. BOX 8031 EAU CLAIRE, WI 54701 (715) 797-1317
sarahstokes@queenofthecastlemagazine.com
www.queenofthecastlemagazine.com
This is a new year with new leadership for the magazine! Our mission is to make your life easier with useful information from local women. Our stories focus on the women in western Wisconsin and our contributors are local too! We are looking for your great ideas! What would you like to see in upcoming issues?
Queen of the Castle Magazine can be found in more than 100 businesses around the area and we are expanding! Look for the latest issues in Eau Claire, Chippewa Falls, Menomonie, Rice Lake, Bloomer, Black River Falls, Mondovi, Colfax, Cadott, Altoona, Chetek, Eleva and Independence. We are growing and want to serve more readers! Watch for our issues coming to a business in your hometown! Please e-mail Sarah if you’d like to bring the magazine to your business.
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715.289.4600 339 N. Main St. Cadott, WI sparrowsbythecreek.com
Why isn’t the magazine glossy?
We feel proud to print on partially recycled paper. Please pass this issue around to help reuse and when you are finished paging through it, please recycle it as well! Thank you for doing your part to help us be environmentally friendly! © 2014 Queen of the Castle Magazine. Queen of the Castle Magazine is published by It Always Fits LLC. The writing, artwork, and photography in Queen of the Castle Magazine remain the work product of the respective authors, artists, and photographers creating the same. Its Always Fits LLC and Queen of the Castle Magazine are not liable for use of any copyrighted work provided by its writers or advertisers. Opinions expressed in Queen of the Castle Magazine are the opinions of the writers, artists, photographers, or advertisers themselves, not the opinions of its editors and staff. February 2014
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Table of Contents Home is Where the Heart Is Why I changed careers By: Sarah Stokes pg. 8
7 Self Care Steps By: Aveen Banich, M.D. Pg. 19
Surviving a Heart Attack at 32 By: Sheila Dutton Pg. 23
Sarah’s Baby Blog All Wrapped Up Pg. 27
Social Media Watch for Moms By: Shelly Cedarblade Pg. 35
Trends in Family Photos By: Megan Brooks Pg. 32 Taking Action in Your Career By: Shannon Crotty Pg. 38 What Kind of Pinterest Personality Do You Have? By: Michelle Rayburn Pg. 42
Hello! I am so happy to be the new owner/editor/publisher of this wonderful magazine! As you page through the new Queen of the
Castle, you’ll see “she” got a makeover for 2014. I have set out with a smile on this wonderful new adventure and I am excited you’re along for the fun. I appreciate you picking up your copy today! As I revealed my new venture to you all, the ocean of support continued to wash over my family. I cannot thank you enough for your kind words and enthusiasm. This magazine, as you will read in my personal article, is an answered prayer. My gratitude is spilling over. I continue to be in awe of the kindness people show in western Wisconsin. Thank you. My mission is to make your life easier through this magazine. I want it to be the best and most useful thing you read all month. We’re keeping the same vibe with inspirational articles about local women by local women, but I’ve added sections devoted to moms, brides, wellness and career every month so you know there’s something relevant for your life. I can’t wait to get a home section in the mix for you so we can all see beautiful area homes too! 2014 is going to be an awesome year of growth as we expand to welcome readers in Rice Lake, Black River Falls and other towns in the area as well. We’re involving you in our content through social media and tapping into your wonderful advice so more women can benefit from what you’ve learned!
Thank you!
We’re welcoming new contributors and new advertisers as we go. Meeting them has been a fun part of becoming a “momtrepreneur.” I’m excited to help others get the word out about their businesses! Please let our advertisers know you saw them in our magazine. They are the reason we can keep it free, which is important. A special thanks to the contributors who really rocked it and have created some helpful articles for you! As we go, you’ll see fun new things pop up in the hopes we can put a smile on your face. Facebook is helping bring some laughs and maybe bring back memories in a feature called, “that moment when.” Look for little features called “Cheer the Volunteer” and “Oh Fer Cute” coming soon! For this month’s issue, I drew on my own story for the theme. It’s “Where the Heart Is” and you’ll meet several women who are following their hearts wherever they may take us. Be it on the road in a big rig, across the globe in Africa or at home snuggling with our babies, we share a common pull to be where our heart is. I hope the stories you’re about to read help you follow your heart too.
Here are some of the things I
about this issue:
Get great advice from other women on kids, career, weddings, menus for the family and what makes us laugh! Check out our new sections! They’ll be in the magazine every month with new, helpful ideas.
February 2014
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The cover story:
Tabitha Olson teamed up with the new owner, Sarah Stokes, to take on a cover shoot with two toddlers! With a smile on her face and only moments to make it happen, Tabitha took on the challenge and captured the trio as Sarah’s kids, Kanyon and Kaydence checked out a tractor book.
From the photographer:
Tabitha Olson Photography is expanding and becoming SO much more! A new website has been designed to display my latest work. Another branch to the business has been added, called hYpe29! I will now be working on “hyping” small businesses! Its so exciting to birth a new part of your business that Tabith really has that small community feel to it! The purpose of hYpe29 is to a Olso n, P promote what is going on inside the walls of their business. I want to help tabithao 715.456.7 hotog rap lsonpho her 5 tograph 65 them promote themselves as the business owner, show who is working y@yaho Tabitha o.com O lsonPho with them, etc. I want customers to look at a web page, or some marketing tograph y.com piece, and see real people checking out what that business has to offer. I want them to shine in what they are doing. Small businesses have a vision of what they want to become for themselves and for our communities – now lets see it!!! Let’s hYpe your biz!
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Home is where the Why I changed careers By: Sarah Stokes
is
Telling stories has been my life’s work. For more than 15 years I brought you the stories of thousands of people through my career in broadcast news. In December, I hung up my reporter notebook and invested in a laptop so I could continue to be a storyteller, this time through the pages of this magazine. I’m now a professional storyteller of a different sort as well. I lose count after 11 readings of “Little Blue Truck” or “Things That Go” these days. You see, my life’s work now includes two very important little stories in the making: Kanyon (3) and Kaydence (17 months). As I sit here on a quiet Sunday afternoon (because grandma has our toddlers so I can hear myself think) I’m marveling at the chance to tell my own story and how the rest, as the song goes, truly is unwritten. My life has taken a turn I didn’t see coming and has become one of my biggest blessings. I’ll rewind a bit to the fall of 2013. Life was great, we have a healthy little boy and girl, we love where we live and we are blessed beyond measure with the support of the amazing people who live in western Wisconsin. I had a dream job co-anchoring the evening newscasts at WEAU 13 News with my husband. Everything was firing on all cylinders, except one thing. Our schedule. In a previous baby blog of mine I talked about how getting out the door everyday seemed like an immunity challenge from the show “Survivor.” Sometimes there were victory cheers if we won the race, but most of the time it felt like we were covered in scrapes and mud and there were tears and bickering amongst the team. Chris and I know how to work together. We have lived and worked together for a decade. We did find our kryptonite though. It lies in the scramble to get two cranky toddlers out the door with their shoes, jackets, food,
special blankets and pajamas while we try to look good enough to be on TV in a few hours. Oh yeah, did I mention we had to wake them up early from their naps in an attempt to get them to eat and then get out the door? We tried everything to make it go more smoothly. 80% of the time someone was in tears. Admittedly, 12% of the time that person was me. We did this for more than 2 years. It just wasn’t working. My husband is my best friend. My kids are my world. I’m a positive person with a can-do attitude. All the “cando” I could muster wasn’t cutting it. The car ride to drop off the kids and get to work on time became the worst part of my day. I began to feel like a failure to everyone sitting in the van. We were late to work. I used to pride myself on being early. I started to get chest pains, for Pete’s sake, and the guilt of seeing the kids get dropped off in tears as we hurried out the door hoping they wouldn’t wake up the entire classroom of napping kids got to be too much. I’d check in at bedtime and often Kanyon (who didn’t have the luxury of getting a bottle to be lulled to sleep) would be asking for his mommy. It broke my heart to see he was crying in his footie jammies as he climbed into his sleeping bag. No matter what his teachers tried, he just wanted mom and dad. We spun our wheels this way for months. Everyone in our life was on board trying to make it work. The kids’ daycare was awesome trying to figure out a better system for our unique schedule. My mom was in the mix trying to help on weeknights when Kanyon was having a rough time. Still, things felt out of whack. Something had to give, but what? Chris and I started talking about what we could do to change things for our family. I went so far as to hang those huge pieces of paper you use in a board meeting on our wall as we wrote out scenarios for the future. We tried every which way to figure out something that could work, but the evening news doesn’t lend itself to a flexible schedule. It needs to happen at 5, 6, 9 and 10. We knew when our kids started school we’d miss everything in the evenings, including them! Chris was willing to make a go of it as a stay-at-home dad, but with our kids being so little, all signs pointed to me taking the leap of faith to leave my career. We decided I would start a business. I was scared but committed to changing the stressful schedule for our family’s sake. Enter the coffee date that changed my life.
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February 2014
I’ve known Shannon Crotty, the creator of Queen of the Castle Magazine, since 2007. What started as a cover model gig for me on her second cover turned into a wonderful friendship. We met a few months ago to catch up and talk about her new business, Polka Dot Powerhouse. Just as we were nearing the end of our time together she said, “I want to sell the magazine.” It was like I customordered the answer to my prayer. Thank you, God. This is what I need to do! As I prepared to leave WEAU, I was so worried about letting the viewers down but the support was incredible. “You won’t regret it” was the most common thing I heard and you are right. It has been a blessing beyond measure. There are more giggles, more dance parties, more leisurely supper times and more memories being made. I never thought I’d be a work-from-home mom but the universe did the talking on this one! Is it all rainbows and lollipops? Nope. I’m the first to admit that whole “balance” thing is not happening. I made a commitment to put down the business when I take over with the kids at lunchtime and don’t pick it back up until they are asleep. This still means early mornings and late nights, but I enjoy every minute. It’s not drudgery. I know my family will reap the rewards down the line.
People who read my blog know I’m big on “being real” with you. I don’t want you to think I’m finally making all the things I’ve pinned on my Pinterest boards, leisurely sipping wine after the children go to bed precisely at 8 p.m. while I marvel at my very clean house. This is what I secretly hoped would happen. Oh yeah, I also thought I’d be going to bed at 10:30 and waking up early to work out and lose those 40 pounds I should drop. The reality? I go to bed at 1:30 a.m. and did try to wake up before the kids did at 5 a.m. but they started waking up too. Maybe my workout DVD was too loud. I tried working out to a silent routine. Nope. Kanyon would be okay with me doing like 10 minutes of the DVD and would get bored. Kaydence just wants to be held all the time so one morning as I tried desperately to do the cool down (I had to fast forward through 20 minutes of the workout to get to that point) I picked her up while still exercising and injured my back. There goes that! I still wear my yoga pants, though. Chasing toddlers is exercise, right? Speaking of workouts, Chris and I have had to work out the growing pains of not seeing each other as much anymore. Pair that with the demands a business, toddlers, and exhaustion have on our lives and we are happy to have made it through the first month of our new schedule
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9
and still be friends! Amazingly, the house still gets as messy as before and I spend nearly an hour every night getting us back to a tidy baseline. I use the word tidy extremely loosely. I feel it is important other women know we share the same struggles. Leaving an office setting doesn’t immediately solve the immense time crunch we have when we’re juggling career, family and home. Will I get there? Does that balance exist? I hope so. I do find myself wondering how to get some sleep, time with friends and a workout once in a while. I know I made the right move in my career because every day, whether I’m strategizing with advertisers or interviewing women for articles, I’m so happy! I’m planning the magazine expansion and have big goals to make it the best thing you’ll read all month. I’m not good at taking it slow. I’m an achiever by nature. I have to remind myself we have accomplished the biggest goal already: making things better for our kiddos. Home is where my heart is. I’m so happy I was able to follow my heart here. So here I sit, 6 weeks into owning this wonderful business, feeling content, grateful and overwhelmed with possibility. I give thanks nearly all day long for my kids, my supportive husband, our parents and my fantastic friends. I needed a lot of courage to change the course of my life that I’d mapped out for so long. I decided to stay open to those possibilities and it is a good feeling! The sky is the limit for Queen of the Castle Magazine. The sky is the limit for our happiness. Thank you for letting me share my story. Thank you all for being part of the path that got me here. I know I didn’t get here alone. Viewers, now readers, have helped pave the way. I am proud to share other women’s stories in the coming pages of this issue. Thank you for trusting me to tell them.
Now, what’s the dream that’s waiting for you to arrive? Together we can find the inspiration, strength and support as you travel to where your heart is.
Two hearts & the Highway Following Her Heart By: Sarah Stokes
She was driving through Arizona on one of her weekly
runs to the wine country when I caught up with her. Teresa Greenhow and her husband Ron had just stopped off for breakfast on their way back home to Eau Claire from California. It’s a run she makes nearly every week. She’s done it since 2009 when she followed her heart by hopping on the highway so she could sit beside her best friend every day. “It was kind of a spontaneous move. I’m glad I did it, I’m so thankful,” Teresa says.
share. “We have more time with each other, we talk, we laugh more. I think our marriage is a lot better than it’s ever been.” She says they get time to see the sights and she gets time for family, which is a priority for her. If her daughters need her home, Ron makes the haul on his own. She says the company they haul for helps them design their days around fun things like the Rose Bowl. “I’ve been punching a clock for all my life. It’s really nice to be able to take the time off and go on vacation when we want.”
She traded office settings for the open road. “You have a lot more freedom,” she says as she talks about her decades behind a desk. The open road and rippling waves have way more appeal. She says she loves “just enjoying the beautiful sights I see.” She’s enjoying meeting new friends and learning about different cultures.
They aren’t loners out on the road either. In an unexpected twist, Teresa found out other couples in their own neighborhood were husband and wife trucking teams too. “You kind of get in a convoy to California with them. We’ll stop in Vegas.” When Teresa started trucking, she didn’t see many other women. Now she notices a major trend of more female drivers. She says it is a bit of a sisterhood. “We can do it too,” she adds.
The cute grandmother says having an empty nest and missing her husband of 29 years gave her the urge to do something different with her life. She says one of her daughters was in college and the other was married by the time she decided to climb up in the cab of a big rig. “It was time to do a drastic move like that,” she says.
As we took a mental tour of her travels in trucking, she says sitting behind the wheel of a semi helped her come out of her shell. “I’ve come a long way,” she explains. And while her time in the truck has been mostly positive, she remembers one of the scariest times of her life unfolded while she was on the road.
When it came to putting her plans into drive, she was in luck on the training for her commercial driver’s license. Her husband Ron happened to be a trainer and Teresa says it worked out perfectly. “It’s always better when we’re together.”
She’d had a mammogram. She left for her weekly haul when she took a call that changed her life. “They called me out here to tell me I had cancer. That was hard coming home.” Thankfully, they caught it early, at stage zero, and Teresa was able to have a lumpectomy. She says those darker days of uncertainty were a big topic as she and Ron drove across the country. “We made it through with a lot of prayers and our close family.”
Now the two are owner-operators for their own company, R & T Transport. They contract with an Abbotsford company hauling what else out of Wisconsin? Cheese. Better yet, they often bring wine back on the way home. “It’s really awesome to travel with him. We get to go to California and see the ocean.”
Teresa &Ron Greenhow
When you hear her speak about her family, her health and her new adventure it’s clear she’s not just carrying cheese and produce; she’s hauling a truck full of gratitude too. “I’m truly blessed and thankful for everything.” As Teresa and Ron prepare to head back through the heartland, they’re leaving the warmth and will be welcomed home with several inches of snow. But it won’t be long before she can cruise back to California with her true love and sitting in the driver’s seat of her own destiny.
She speaks sweetly about her husband and the bond they
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February 2014
A Piece of Her
is in Africa
Making a difference in the world By: Sarah Stokes
February 2014
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It’s a quiet Wednesday morning in her Bloomer salon. Her
client, Diane, is sitting under the cape with a look of contentment, as soft music plays overhead. Nicole Bagwell smiles as she puts the finishing touches on Diane’s hair and puts her under the dryer at Christian Cuts. It looks like other small town salons, but big dreams in here are setting up much faster than her client’s perm. “It needs to be done now or yesterday,” Nicole says when she talks about her goal. “We’re getting there,” she says, admitting she’s impatient. The business owner, wife and mother of 7 children has more than enough to keep her busy in Bloomer. No one would ever look at that job description and ask her to do more; but she also has a huge job to do 5,458 miles from home. She wants to create a safe community for children and their blind parents in Liberia. “It’s all in God’s timing,” the former nurse tells me as she continued to do hair. Just a couple of years ago a haircut helped her find her new calling. Mark Halvorsen convinced her to check out Teamwork Africa. He and his wife Peggy, a former teacher from Eau Claire, spearheads the effort that includes bringing clean water, schools, clinics and churches to Liberia. Nicole remembers Mark telling her how she could sponsor a child through one of Teamwork Africa’s missions called Starfish Kids. Nicole told her husband, Michael, to find a child their family could help. She says she was hoping for a cute little girl. She says he came back with the oldest boy. A teenager named Samuel. “He’s 15,” she says. Samuel stays with his uncle in the blind community, which, as Peggy Halvorsen describes as a bunch of houses on sandy soil that can’t be farmed. They don’t have water. Nicole says it’s a constant fight for survival there. The children are forced to go into the city daily to help feed their families. “There is something that has to be done. They have to go and beg. They get up at 2 or 3 in the morning and go beg,” Nicole says. “The kids can’t really be kids.” Nicole got to see the conditions first-hand last April on a mission trip. That’s when she got to meet the boy she considers her eighth child. “He is amazing. He has the most beautiful smile. He is so compassionate.” Her face perks up just talking about him. She says he’s “so caring and gentle.” Samuel and the other 29 Starfish Kids inspired Nicole to want to transform their village, called the Bartimaeus Blind Community. “I was trying to put my ideas on paper and couldn’t. So I was just going to go to sleep. I said ‘okay God’ and when I woke up, I had it.” She said the next morning she sketched out the lay of the land, the names of the school and had the details right down to a playground. “I believe there will be 6 acres of land with a school and a church and 3 clean water wells and a burning area and crops.” She says the village needs a community center and livestock as well to thrive. “It’s kind of urgent,” says Peggy. She says the land around the village is being bought up because
there’s a clinic under construction nearby. Nicole says they need the 6 acres to create a safe and self-sustaining place for the children and their blind parents. Nicole and Peggy say the land for the project costs $36,000. They hope to raise the full amount soon, but say even purchasing 1 acre could help secure a land deal on the rest. Nicole says when she was standing on the soil in Liberia; she felt “overwhelmed by joy, overwhelmed by sadness at the same time.” She hopes to find a way to make the community project happen in 10 years or less, but says she’s had to reign in her hopes for it to happen quickly. Her community project isn’t the only thing requiring patience and faith. A piece of her heart still lives in Africa. Nicole and her husband intend to bring Samuel, the child they sponsor, home to Bloomer. Liberia is closed to adoption at this point. She says they still treat him like he’s officially part of the family. From buying him clothing to including him on their Christmas photo, he is a permanent part of their world. She says we can all learn from kids like Samuel. When Nicole visited his home, his family kept what they considered a treasure. Nicole says Samuel’s aunt showed her the empty box that once held care package granola bars. “They are respectful and appreciative of everything,” she explains. “It was hard coming back. Here you give them a cookie and they want 2. There you give them a treat and they share it with 2 or 3 people versus eating it themselves.” She says the kids over there have nothing but seem happier. They are grateful if they get to go to school and have clean water to drink. She says she sometimes has to dodge the sad thoughts in her mind, doing what she can to block out the worry she feels for Samuel and the other children. “Day to day I know where my kids are. I know they’re eating.”
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February 2014
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Handmade Hippo at the African Experience Store inside Christian Cuts in Bloomer As Nicole finished up her first appointment of the day, she talked about her latest effort to raise money. She’s created “The African Experience” store inside Christian Cuts selling handmade art from people in Liberia. “We call it double fair trade,” says Peggy. “We buy it from them and come here and sell it, then donate the money back to them.” Nicole says she’s seen local people get inspired to help. Two kids are now sponsored because of her bulletin board for Starfish Kids. A teenage boy with dreams of being a doctor was on the board for a while waiting for a sponsor so he could go to school beyond the 8th grade. She recalls one day a woman walked into her salon and put cash into her hand and said, “there, now that boy can go to school.” She hopes in just a matter of years all of the kids can go to school in Liberia and wants to bring Samuel home so he can go to school in western Wisconsin. She is saving for a mission trip in the spring where she’ll spend time with Samuel and continue to work on her vision for the village. She’s got her heart set on making it happen and hopes others are inspired to open a little bit of their heart to Africa.
If you’d like to donate to the effort to buy land for the Bartimaeus Blind Community Project: BBCP 2920 Bobbie Street Eau Claire, WI 54703 www.teamworkafrica.org Find us on Facebook (715) 379-9586 Save the date: March 28 is a freewill offering dinner and silent auction for Teamwork Africa at the Florian Gardens in Eau Claire. February 2014
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Februrary 2014
We asked you on Facebook... how do you follow your heart? I try to listen and watch for what God speaks to me. - Michelle
To follow and do something you are passionate about. -Tonya
Live life more holistically. Live life through my whole being. - Ashley
By following my dreams, and knowing my dreams are attainable! - Hilary
Mostly, I make time to play, every day if possible. -Melyssa
By being open and honest with people -Kristi We opened our home to all types of homeless animals. - Amy By being a good role model for my kids and being a faithful friend and lover to my husband. - Bridgette February 2014
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M E TA B O L I C S Y N D R O M E S E R I E S
Balance Finding your
Wednesday, February 26 Shift: Getting Back in Balance – Understanding the Body’s Basic Systems
Join Linda Poirier as she discusses Metabolic Syndrome, diabetes, insulin, inflammation, obesity, cancer…how it is all related.
5:30 – 7 pm 29 Pines/Sleep Inn & Suites Conference Center Call 715-717-1600 to register. Sunday, March 9 GO Dance
Learn simple ways to stay healthy, enjoy music and participate in health screenings. 12-3 pm Heyde Center for the Arts, 3 S High St. Chippewa Falls To register call 715-717-7300
Welcome to the new spot for women’s wellness information! We know it’s a big part of your lives and it’ covers so many things, so we are keeping this open to all things wellness. We hope you learn something every month!
was Sigmund Freud who said, “One day in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.” These days and years of struggle make up our lives. Perhaps it is the struggle that is life.
“You will burn And you will burn out, You will be healed And come back again.” -Fyodor Dostoyevsky
The magic of any and all stages can only be mined when we are present. Sleeping, meditation, movement, healthy eating, drinking fresh water and finding our tribe go a long way in healing and coming back again.
Self Care
7 Ways to Rejuvenate By: Aveen Banich, M.D.
How are you? Are you burning brightly with creativity and passion? Or are you fried and exhausted in your attempts to juggle the many balls that make up your one precious life? Each life is a spiral moving thru time. There are times when our lives will naturally be out of balance. Living thru the first year of your child’s life is the perfect illustration of this. You sacrifice sleep and rejoice in a three-minute shower at 7pm in order to take care of your newborn. At other times, you may be rocking a project at work and put in long hours until you reach the finish line. Like a ship however, we need to recognize when these temporary shifts away from balance have become our new, chartered course. Have you not slept in 5 years? Are you constantly saying “yes” to any and all requests at the expense of your own balance and sanity? There are phases in the lives of all women. Each phase brings it’s own unique demands; just as each phase offers it’s own unique magic. It February 2014
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As far as I can tell (from personal experience) re-runs of the original “90210”, Diet Coke, M&Ms and too much Pinterest are my clues of burnout. Insert your own vices here. On an evening when you drop after 16 hours of running for others, the vices may temporarily soothe. However, in the long run, they deplete. They also postpone finding the magic in the moment as they only serve to enhance our mindlessness. Back away from the television and computer. Put down the caffeine. 1. Go to sleep. Getting sleep is the key to keeping our immune system strong and preventing illness. Assign yourself a bedtime, just like you do for your children and stick to it. Figure out what helps you un-wind in the evening and create a ritual for yourself in order to turn your brain off and find sleep. Slowing down and counting your breath is a simple meditation technique to calm a scattered mind and move into the rest and digest part of your nervous system. 2. Make time in your schedule for your chosen form of movement. For many, exercise is the first thing to go when life gets out of control. However, our bodies immediately respond to
movement by releasing endorphins that lower our stress and elevate our mood. Walk with a friend. Get on the ground and play with your kids. Take a yoga class or hit the gym. Bottom line: do what you love, put it in your schedule and to quote Nike, “just do it”. 3. Take time for stillness. We have established that we are busy. Before racing off to tackle your day, pencil in 5-10 minutes of sitting in stillness. Meditation is as easy and as difficult as that. Listening to silence and being present to your breath does wonders for calming the mind and setting your day off on a positive note. Involve the kids in this practice by sitting in a circle silently for a few moments and setting intentions before the family takes off for the day. Our intention creates our reality. 4. Plan to eat in a way that feeds your body and soul. The brilliant Michael Pollen simplifies it this way, “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants “ Throw together one of the approximately 1500 healthy recipes you have cataloged on Pinterest and feed your body and your family well. 5. Make time to nurture and sustain your friendships. Find your tribe. When you are burned out, they will help heal you. When you are lonely, they will ease your burden. You will do the same for them. Everyone is busy. Make time for your loved ones and friends. They help reveal and create the magic of your life. 6. Drink more water- so simple yet many of us do not take time to do this for ourselves. Water eases inflammation, keeps digestion moving and helps create youthful, glowing skin. Dehydration can make
us feel tired and sluggish. Throw in a lemon to make it smell beautiful and help create an alkaline pH that aids in flushing out toxins. Get in the habit of returning to the present moment each time you take a sip. 7. Trust that there is magic in each and every moment of your life- even the difficult times. Expect it and it will be revealed. When we are present, we notice synchronistic moments we could have never manufactured. They amaze us. The more we notice, the more frequently these magical moments appear. Be here, now. The present moment is where the magic resides. It may be at 3 a.m. when your infant smiles at you and grasps your finger. It may be at work when your presence makes all the difference for someone else. It may be in the dark car driving children to dance or basketball. Yes, as Dostoyevsky wrote, “You will burn and you will burn out. You will be healed and come back again.” This is your life in all of its glory and it is magical.
Aveen Banich, M.D. is a registered yoga teacher, a reiki practitioner and a board certified ophthalmologist. She is also a mother to four lovely souls and a wife to a funny and patient man. Learn more at: www.lifebydesignec.com
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We are officially into the 2014 “New Year” with high hopes, dream and goals. Some of us would call these resolutions all to soon to rename them disappointments. Why is it that we set ourselves up for a great lifestyle change in January and then by March can’t remember what our “resolution” was? Trust me, I have been there and the list was long. Lose 20 pounds, go back to school, run a 5k, learn yoga, volunteer, and on and on. Each year my list of “wants” outgrew reality and what my calendar and my stress level could actually handle. Resolutions in our “instant society” are hard. When we wake up on January 1st of each year, we have the same house, bodies, bills, families and responsibilities. Sadly, at midnight on New Year’s Eve, we ALL turn back into Cinderella. The magical ball drop didn’t create three wishes or grant us a wand to wave over everything we need or want to change. So what is the trick? How do we create change that will last?
• First, Understand How to Breakdown that Big,
Bad Goal. You have to start with small steps. For Example: If you are looking to completely change how you eat, start with one meal in your day that is balanced with whole foods (not processed). When we try to go full bore we get frustrated and just go back to the habits that we know. Our habits have been with us for as long as we have been on earth and we are going to change or break those in one day or one month? Patience is key here.
• Second, HIRE a Trainer or Health Coach. I use
the word “hire” because then there is an investment involved. When you PAY for something you are more likely to use it. A health coach and/or personal trainer will hold you accountable toward your goals.
February 2014
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By nature, we are all caring people when it comes to putting OTHERS first. Think of how many times you have sacrificed your time, talent or money for your spouse, children or friends? When you hire a health professional, it’s your turn to be first and taken care of. This will also improve your success rate by having someone there that can give you the CORRECT information, help and cheer you on along the way.
• Third, Be Positive and Be Realistic! Change takes
time. No matter what your goal is, you are going to have to invest time into your schedule. Whether it’s time in your kitchen to create healthy meals, time to move and groove your body or time researching what you really want to do. There aren’t any short cuts, sorry. Our skin completely regenerates itself every 7 days, in the body cells regenerate every 120 days and in 7 years every cell in your skeleton is replaced. Your body doesn’t run on NOW it even has it’s own timetable. Make sure you do to. When we experience the journey of change we are redefining our story. Be patient with yours and think of how AMAZING each step will be! The BEST part? We don’t have to wait for New Year’s to change our lives. It happens when you change your heart and are truly ready. Realize that this can be ANY day on your calendar and GO FOR IT!
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February 2014
A Heart UnderAttack My Survival Story By: Sheila Dutton
April 2005, I was a healthy 32-year old. I exercised daily. I had no family history of any kind of heart disease or any other ailments. But it all changed in the blink of an eye. One minute I was giving a presentation, the next minute I was passed out in my car. During the presentation, I started having heavy chest pains. I was feeling hot, nauseous and I was sweating all over. I also had a tingling sensation all over my body. The sensation felt like when your foot falls asleep. I kept looking at the clock hoping to get through the presentation. I don’t even remember what I was saying. It was all a blur. I just knew I had to get to my car as soon as possible. When I got to my car I felt like I was going to be sick. I was in panic mode. I tried to put my keys in the ignition and stopped because I felt like I was going to throw up or pass out. The last thing I remember was laying half in my car on my back hoping someone would see me. The next thing I remember is being rushed by ambulance to a local hospital. I couldn’t even talk. My whole body felt numb. Once at the hospital, doctors ran some tests which indicated I had some elevated levels, such as high blood pressure but nothing dramatic. I started feeling better. I received some fluids and was sent home. February 2014
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The next morning, I woke up around 2:00 am. and I started to pace the room. I was feeling that same pain in my chest again and the tingling feeling was back. It felt as if someone was sitting on my chest. I couldn’t take a deep breath. At 5:00 a.m., I called my sister, who’s a registered nurse and told her about my symptoms. She told me to get to a hospital as soon as possible. I was having a heart attack. I woke my husband and told him we needed to go back to the hospital. Once there, I was rushed to the catheterization lab for angioplasty. Doctors inserted a balloon pump and upon insertion, my heart stopped beating and I coded several times. Stents were placed to keep my arteries open and blood pumping to my heart. Five stents and a double bypass later, I’m spreading the word about heart disease and the importance of trusting your instincts and knowing your own body. Heart attacks don’t discriminate, they can happen at any age. This year I will celebrate 9 years since my heart surgery. I am truly blessed to be here and want to share my story with other women to hopefully save a life.
Hear more about Sheila’s story at “Her Story, Her Heart” 6:30 p.m. Thursday, Feb. 13, in the Luther Building Auditorium Mayo Clinic Health System 1221 Whipple St., Eau Claire
Her Story, Her Heart
Women share their challenges and triumphs in dealing with heart disease. Treat your Valentine or yourself to the gift of heart health • Flowers • healthy treats • music • prizes
Thursday, Feb. 13, 6:30 p.m.
Moderated by:
Auditorium, Lower Level Mayo Clinic Health System 1221 Whipple St. Eau Claire Free parking in ramp RSVP by Feb. 7: 715-838-3012
Regis Fernandes, M.D. Cardiologist
Sue Pope Nurse practitioner
Robert Wiechmann, M.D. Cardiovascular surgeon
Mother, sister, self?
Caring for the caregiver
Understand heart disease symptoms, risks
Many women show up in emergency rooms after much heart damage already has occurred because their symptoms are not those typically associated with a heart attack. If you or someone you know experience these symptoms, call 911. Don’t drive yourself or your loved one to the emergency room.
By Mayo Clinic Health System staff
You may know that heart disease is the No. 1 killer in the United States — more than all cancers combined. But did you know that more women than men die of heart disease each year? “That female majority related to heart disease surprises people, but it’s true,” notes Sue Pope, a nurse practitioner in the Cardiac Center at Mayo Clinic Health System in Eau Claire, who also sees patients in Durand. Heart disease symptoms in women can differ from symptoms in men. Fortunately, women can take steps to understand their unique symptoms and to begin to reduce their risk of heart disease.
Symptoms The most common heart attack symptom in women is some type of pain, pressure or discomfort in the chest. But it’s not always severe or even the most prominent symptom, particularly in women. Women are more likely than men to have heart attack symptoms unrelated to chest pain, such as: · Neck, shoulder, upper back or abdominal discomfort · Shortness of breath
Risk factors Although the traditional risk factors for coronary artery disease — such as high cholesterol, high blood pressure and obesity — affect women and men, other factors may play a bigger role in the development of heart disease in women. For example: · Metabolic syndrome — a combination of fat around your abdomen, high blood pressure, high blood sugar and high triglycerides — has a greater impact on women. · Mental stress and depression affect women’s hearts more than men’s. Depression makes it difficult to maintain a healthy lifestyle, so talk to your doctor if you’re having symptoms of depression. · Smoking is a greater risk factor for heart disease in women.
· Nausea or vomiting · Sweating
· Low levels of estrogen after menopause pose a significant risk factor for developing cardiovascular disease in the smaller blood vessels (small vessel heart disease).
· Lightheadedness or dizziness · Unusual fatigue
“Women typically experience much more subtle heart symptoms,” Pope says. This may be because women tend to have blockages not only in their main arteries but also in the smaller arteries that supply blood to the heart — a condition called small vessel heart disease or microvascular disease. February 2014 queenofthecastlemagazine.com
“We all know that woman — our mom or sister or maybe even ourselves — who is a caretaker of others to the point of ignoring herself,” Pope says. “Encourage your loved ones to put themselves first when it comes to heart health. Give yourself permission to take your own health seriously.”
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“We all need to eat a healthy diet and exercise regularly,” Pope says. “But if you have one of these risk factors, work with your health care provider to tackle it. You are worth it.”
Girls on the Run of Eau Claire (GOTR-EC) aims to build girls’ physical and mental strength through running. The group works with girls in third through fifth grade to help them build self-esteem, character, and positive self-image. The sessions are tied to a 10-week running program that ends with a 5K. “I love the positive message that the program sends,” said GOTR-EC council director Kim Gillett said. “The program gives girls tools to deal with situations in a positive way and presents running in a fun way.”
she also gained a great deal of confidence in general.” Many of the girls get a strong sense of the impact the GOTR sessions have on their lives. One participant commented, “I liked how it taught you how to handle your emotions and other tips to life. I got to spend more time with my dad.” Gillett said right now Girls on the Run of Eau Claire County is in 11 schools.
A parent whose daughter is in the program commented: “The GOTR-EC running club is the first and only athletic activity where our daughter enjoyed the activity and felt confident in her abilities. She not only excelled at running,
Winter Ride fat tire biking Linda Slowiak Photos by: Branden Nall, Project Inspyr
project inspyr the final answer to better health!
Eau Claire Bike & Sport Powder Keg Snowshoe and fat bike races Saturday, February 8th, 2014 Eau Claire Expo Center & Lowes Creek County Park 5-mile Snowshoe Race, 2-mile Snowshoe Race/run/walk or 2-hour lapped Fat -Bike Race www.overdrivecycling.com
Ahhh... a place just for moms. Now only if it came with a magic wand and some chocolate. We do hope to help make your life easier with help from other moms in the area who contribute! This is the new permanent home for Sarah Stokes’ baby blog and several other fun things to come. We’re growing right along with your kids! ALL WRAPPED UP As a new mom, I remember thinking my babies had me wrapped around their fingers. They did of course, and then you start having to approach the idea of rules, boundaries and consequences with them and the water begins to get a bit muddy. That said, it seems our little guy has momma wrapped around his finger again! Since I changed careers, the joy in our kids has seemed to skyrocket. They get either mom or dad 24/7 and that has been a huge benefit for their behavior and the stress level. By day 3 of me staying home, the time outs for Kanyon, our son who just turned 3, went from several to maybe 1 at the most. Our daughter, who is 16 months old, cried less and danced more. Our 2-11 p.m. schedule had taken its toll on all of us. And no matter how scary and bittersweet it was to leave my amazing career, Chris and I agree, the change has already been a positive move for us. For the first few nights of the new schedule (I work on the magazine in the mornings while Chris is at home with the kids and I take over at lunch time so he can get ready for work) Kanyon kept repeating that he gets to sleep in his cozy bed now! It was the cutest thing but slightly heartbreaking. That said, my mommy guilt had kicked in and Kanyon picked up on that right away. He started asking me to snuggle with him as he went to sleep. Having missed out on this for 5 nights a week for 2 plus years, I was all about it! He’s so sweet, saying “you’re my sweetest pretty princess momma” and directing me to the precise pillow and blanket requirements he had set for his new snuggle partner. When February 2014 queenofthecastlemagazine.com
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I started to pull away a couple of songs into his lullaby CD, he would say in a tiny voice “don’t leave me momma.” And... cue that momma guilt again. He used to go to bed alone. I’m all about teaching him independence and we have a bedtime routine in place, but those 4 words cut right through all of the parenting logic and sent a dagger into my heart. So fast forward 4 weeks later and I’m still cuddled up to Kanyon at night, only now he’s got his arm wrapped around my neck so I can’t wiggle away before he’s ready. If I make a break for it too soon, his little arm somehow gets the strength of 10,000 men and there I am, laughing to myself at the little predicament I’ve created. It’s my fault. I’m okay with that for now. I’m probably not the only parent who knows exactly where their child’s floor creaks and who’s cringed as they accidentally kick a toy on the way out and blow the whole thing! Have you ever slinked out of their bed hoping not to awake the sleeping giant? It’s possible, on occasion a certain someone (not naming names) may crawl out of his room on their hands and knees hoping to go undetected on the particularly rough bedtime nights. One of my former co-workers told me to avoid this very situation because the next thing you know your kiddo is 5 and you’re still lying next to them at night. This too shall pass and I’ll work him back into his normal routine of going to bed by himself. I know parenting is mostly about training the parent not the child. I’m totally guilty. I guess what I’ve discovered is that I needed to snuggle with my little boy just as much as he needed to soak up some time with me. I’m not afraid to admit when Kaydence has had restless teething nights,
I snuggle and rock her long after she’s asleep too. And yes, the thought has crossed my mind as she settles back into sleep in her crib, would that thing hold me too? For the time being it’s been a wonderful blessing to be able to watch Kanyon and Kaydence drift off to dreamland. Even the most patient parent probably looks forward to bedtime when the cares of the day, the conflict, the mess and those busy little bodies fade into fluttering eyelashes and sweet snoozing sounds. It’s in these moments that this momma is completely and utterly wrapped around their fingers again.
The kids are fascinated by my new laptop. As Kanyon did his best to stall before bed one night, he asked "why do you have this new computer, momma?"
Me: "Because I make a magazine for my job now." Kanyon: "Your job is Queen Of The Castle Magazine?" Me: "Yes." Kanyon: "And my job is to sleep." Me: "Bingo."
Do you know of a great blog for moms that you’d like to share? We will be adding more content on our website soon and would love to showcase local moms!
Sarah Stokes is a married mother of a little boy, Kanyon (3) and daughter Kaydence (16 months). The former news anchor, now magazine owner, and her husband Chris Herzog made western Wisconsin their home in 2005.
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Februar2014
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rs
Kindergarten Sneak Preview
Faith. Values. Academic Excellence.
All Are Welcome. More than just excellent academics, we teach the whole student - mind, body, and spirit. RSVP Online at:
www.RegisCatholicSchools.com/kindergarten or call the specific building listed below.
February 6
Immaculate Conception from 10:30-11:30 a.m. or 4:00-5:00 p.m. 1703 Sherwin Avenue Eau Claire RSVP: 715-830-2276
February 7
St. Mary’s Elementary from 10:30-11:30 a.m. 1828 Lynn Avenue Altoona RSVP: 715-830-2278
February 7
St. James Elementary from 2:00-3:00 p.m. 2502 11th Street Eau Claire RSVP: 715-830-2277
Tuition Assistance, Tuition Vouchers, and Tax Deductions are available.
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The best parenting advice I ever got...
Everyone parents differently and that’s ok! You have to do what works for you. -Tawny
Trust your mommy instincts. -Crystal
To buy one of those exercise balls to bounce on while swaddling/comforting a fussy baby. IT IS MAGIC! - Sarah
Don't shelter them from sad or unhappy situations. We wouldn't know what 'happy' is if we've never felt sad. -LeAnn
When my first daughter was a couple hours old my mom looked me in the eye and I quote " Elizabeth read to your daughter everyday” - Liz The best advice I have received is to take time to appreciate them when they are small and to actively listen... not rush. -Shannon
A Valentine from Grandma... What’s my definition of love?
When your grandbabies run to your loving arms. What joy I get from baking some special cookies just for them. I had to find the perfect mug for cocoa with that special swirl on top... he calls it ‘cream’.
EMPTY BOWLS Thursday, March 6, 2014 Purchase a hand crafted bowl and soup meal to help support Feed My People Food Bank
Bowl quantity is limited. Advanced ticket purchase is recommended.
$18 Bowl and Soup Meal $8 Soup Meal Only Kids 10 & Under Free
Dine In and Carry Out Available 11am to 7pm (continuous serving)
Florian Gardens 2340 Lorch Avenue Eau Claire, WI
My ol’ glider rocker needs to be tightened up because I have rocked her while we read that puppy book over and over. I kiss her little neck and make those goofy duck noises. The time in the kitchen sink for a quick bath that turns into more fun with an ol’ plastic cup...who needs those fancy tub toys??? I pray that Grandma’s lap will always be one of the happiest, safest places to be. The secret is really time with your grandchildren. It’s better than all the wrinkle creams you can buy!
- Grandma Glenda Stokes
Ticket Outlets
Feed My People Food Bank Online at www.fmpfoodbank.org UWEC Service Center Gordy’s County Market Eau Claire Locations
Feed My People
2610 Alpine Road, Eau Claire, WI 54703 Phone: 715-835-9415 E-mail: info@fmpfoodbank.org Website: www.fmpfoodbank.org
Trendy Picture Taking
What local families are doing to capture the big moments in new ways By: Megan Brooks
The Birth Announcement
Birth Announcements are a growing trend and a huge new thing on Facebook!! Most people look forward or request a photo specifically to use on Facebook to share with everyone. Gone are the days of just a phone call or a text to loved ones… now couples are finding cute and creative ways to announce to the world their family is growing. There are many ways to announce that you are expanding your family and this is also a great “keepsake” photo for the baby book.
It’s a... Gender Reveal! Gender reveals are a rising obsession that so many couples look forward to revealing to their friends and family as well as posting on Facebook for everyone to see. It’s an easy way to let everyone know at once and there are many unique ways to reveal the gender of your expecting bundle of joy. Most people still get a traditional ultrasound as a sure way of knowing what the gender is, but a gender reveal is a fun way to announce that news with cakes, balloons, and all kinds of things Documenting Their Growth that surprise our families with pink or Some families take photos every few weeks or month to month to document blue. those precious moments as your little one grows. There are many fun ways to show their age, chalk boards, onesies, or homemade items that clients can bring into the studio for that special photo. Other clients choose to get professional photos done every 6 months along with their snap shots at home to document the time in-between. This is a tradition that can start at birth and continue until they’re in caps and gowns if you wish! The best time for newborn photos to be taken is during the window when they are 3-10 days old. They are very sleepy and we can position them in ways that they are used to after being in the womb. They like being swaddled or curled up and cozy. This makes it much easier for that first photo shoot. As your child grows be sure to have them fed and try and get that nap in before photos so that they are at their peak of happiness. If you are an expecting mother, booking your newborn session in advance is essential to getting that guaranteed time frame of 3-10 days.
The Birth Story
Birth stories are becoming more and more popular. I photographed my first birth story 1 ½ years ago and fell in love with this amazing concept. Families are welcoming photographers into their lives from announcements to delivery and beyond. With more than 15 birth story experiences, it has shown me just how precious life is along with all those little things that you miss out on in the rush of delivery. I have two children of my own and I remember most of my experience, but surely not everything and eventually I won’t remember much. It’s a story that will be told over and over. Some memories fade, but these photos will be there for a lifetime.
Mom’s Recipes Trees” “Snow on the e broccoli th st du ds Let the ki r Nature! to mimic Mothe
Meatloaf again mom?
Coming soon a section just for those of us who can’t think of anything to make night after night! A momma menu tested and submitted by other local moms! (Got a good recipe to share? E-mail or Facebook msg us)
Creating Crystals Frost Paint for the Family By: Vanessa Moessner – Owner/ Instructor at the Lily Pad Lab
I always over purchase. I don’t think I will ever be able to accurately judge quantities of supplies; too much glitter, not enough rice, way too much felt. So when I ended up with 5 extra bags of Epsom Salt after a project I went searching for something new to try with my little ones and discovered Frost Painting. All you need is Epsom Salt, water, crayons, paper (colored computer paper works best) and a paint brush. Boil about ½ cup of water and stir in about ½ cup of Epsom Salt to make the paint. Have your kids color a wintry picture on their paper with the crayons. Let the water cool a bit and then have them paint their whole paper with the Epsom Salt water. Watch as it dries. You’ll see the most beautiful crystals form in all different shapes and sizes all over the paper; an icy, frosty effect even Jack Frost could be proud of!
Social Media Watch Chat about Snapchat By: Shelly Cedarblade
Do you know what your teenage son or daughter is sharing on Snapchat? Teenagers who use Snapchat have a false sense of security that the images they share via Snapchat are private and will be automatically deleted within seconds. The truth is that these images are not private and could potentially be used against them. Are all teenagers using Snapchat to send inappropriate images? Absolutely not, but some are. Have you had the discussion with your teenager about the risks involved in sending risqué images using this app? For more information regarding Snapchat and how to keep your teenager safe, read my blog “Snapchat: Have a Chat with Your Teenager about This App Today” at www.woosmm.com/snapchat Shelly Cedarblade, the owner of Woo! Social Media Marketing, is a Christian mother of two teenage daughters. She helps small businesses grow their business through the use of social media marketing. www.woosmm.com
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February 2014
photos by Molly Marie Photography
April 10, 2014 at the Plaza Hotel & Suites in Eau Claire
presented by the Western Dairyland Women’s Business Center Join us for a full day of networking, educational sessions, roundtable discussions, a welcome address from Sarah Stokes, one-on-one business counseling, and an exhibitor hall featuring 90+ companies. If you’re thinking of starting, improving or expanding a business, this conference is for you!
www.WomensBusinessConference.com | ph: 715-836-7511
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What’s your goal? Are you looking for inspiration to get there? That’s what this new feature is all about! We want to give you the tools to take it to the next level!
Take Action
It’s that time of year. The romance of Valentines Day, the acBy: Shannon Crotty. ceptance and comfort of the new year (and finally remembering to write the right year on checks), and the time that the super-energetic goals, plans, and business ideas developed as the new year was rung in, start to fall by the wayside.
6 Ideas to Get Going
Whether you’ve been in business one day or thirty years, you know the routine. We start each year with lofty, “we-can-do-it” business goals and then life settles in. Sometimes these new plans and goals get sacrificed to purely surviving. There’s always next year, right? I say, NO! You can take ACTION today to make sure you keep the goals and plans you’ve committed to, on your priority list. Here are a few tips to help you do just that!
1) Inventory – Is the goal really important to you?
Many New Year goals and plans are made when we hear of someone else’s new plans. They aren’t really something we’re passionate about, but we feel the need to keep up with others and make new goals. Look at your goals and plans, decide which ones you will regret not pursuing, send the rest to the recycle bin.
2) Immense Focus – Want to know the ultimate
key to success on any new goal (business or otherwise)? Two things: intense focus and consistent action. THAT’S IT! It’s that simple. If you want to see your business goals become reality, you’re going to have to make the choice (yes, it’s a choice) to ignore a lot of nonsense and distractions. Is this goal important enough to focus on…if you’re pursuing it, it has to be. Raise your standards on what will receive your focus and everything else changes too.
3) People – If you’re going to take your business and your life to the next level, you have to (HAVE February 2014
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TO) learn to let go of expecting everyone to like you, support your business, understand it, and promote it. Not everyone will, PERIOD. That’s ok. Let them be. When you let go of the need to be liked and supported by everyone, you will clear a lot of time and space in your life (previously spent on stressing about it and trying to change it). You will find that space quickly fills with people who “get” you and your business, will support you in your business growth, and who will help you get to that goal. This is a beautiful thing.
4) Surroundings – Choosing to control your sur-
roundings is paramount to your success. Commit to surrounding yourself with positive, powerful, supportive, and next level surroundings, circumstances, choices, people, and opportunities. Commit to accepting nothing less (this is something you deserve to do for yourself. This tip is a game changer.
5) Keep Moving – Some days you may have lots
of time, the next very little, but make a commitment to keep consistently moving in the direction of and taking action toward your goal. Whether that’s reading a book, doing research, finding a mentor or coach, hiring a new person, or countless other things; you have the power (and really you’re the only one who does) to keep taking action. Even if it’s baby steps, progress is progress. If your goal and plan is important enough this will be a no brainer, you’ll make it happen. Finally, know that you have the power in you to achieve the business success and life you dream of. Nothing less is worthy of your time. I’m cheering for you. Don’t let moss grow under your momentum. Shannon Crotty is the founder of Polka Dot Powerhouse. It’s a global networking & connection company based on relationship-building with positive, action-forward people! www.polkadotpowerhouse.com
The Communication Situation Apply Your Strengths By: Caroline Wee
Working in the field of communications, I am often asked if I find a significant difference in the way men and women communicate. While neither gender is by any means smarter, faster, stronger, or better than the other, there are undoubtedly distinct differences between them. I experience these differences in my, personal life all the time. For example, while on a road trip with my boyfriend, I turn to him and ask, “What are you thinking?” His deeply thought out response, “Nothing,” I am floored! My personal thought process, “Nothing? Are you kidding me? I have had at least five new thoughts in the time it took you to give your one-word response!” After eight years of receiving, what I have considered to be, curt responses such as, “I’m just listening to the radio,” or “I’m just watching the road,” I’ve come to realize that our minds and responses simply move at different paces. So what is the reason for this? Research suggests that men are more inclined to utilize the gray tissue matter of the brain which is used in mathematical reasoning. Women more frequently utilize the white tissue matter of the brain responsible language, memory and communication.
thoughts that ran through her head during the fifteen second introduction. “Did you see that…” or “did you see the way they…” His response, “Really? I hadn’t noticed.” The ability to read people can help us build a rapport with our clients. The challenge is that often times are brains become so accustomed to moving at warp speed, that when things seem to be moving too slowly, they begin to read into things that are not there. As women, we need to use our intuition to help us make decisions, but combine those gut feelings about people with facts to balance out the choices we make, especially in business. We also have the ability to communicate effectively and creatively. The challenge is knowing when to harness our creativity. The trick is utilizing the ability to read people as an assessment tool for recognizing our audience how best to communicate with them. Take for example the personal touch we attempt to add in our corporate correspondence. We see it all the time in our business emails. Take a look at a couple of examples. Which one are you more likely to send?
These differences can benefit us or create challenges. If we use our communication strengths wisely, it can help us with our clients. So what are these skills and how do we best utilize them? Our minds are able to quickly process, assess and link information. This makes us excellent multitaskers. It also helps us quickly pick up on subtle clues, read circumstances, and people more deeply.
“Hi everybody! I know everyone’s week has been super busy, so we are thinking of rescheduling the meeting until Tuesday at 10am. Please let me know if this will work for everyone. Have a great weekend!!!!! J”
Take for instance one couple being introduced to another couple. Immediately after walking away, the woman inevitably wants to discuss the multitude of
“The meeting has been rescheduled for 10am on Tuesday.” Although the first email is lighthearted and kind, in
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business, you can most likely cut out personal flair. It is unnecessary to ask for approval in the rescheduling of a meeting. Unless you are texting your, pardon the term, “bestie”, exclamation points, small talk and smiley faces are not appropriate.
“Where were you when your business rose to the next level?”
As with any diverse set of skills the key is learning how and when to put each skill to use in order to reap the benefits they offer. My advice: • Apply the capacity for reading body language, facial expressions and subtle communication to build rapport with clients and staff. • Use a combination of intuition, an ability to interpret information and data to make business decisions. • Utilize the ability to read people to assess your audience and determine the best way to communicate with them. Such as when a personal touch is and is not appropriate. The bottom line is that men and women have different ways of communicating. There are definite skills for each. Learn to appreciate and utilize them in the right way and you will be successful.
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A Start-Up Story The Gathering Grounds Coffee House 820 N. Broadway Menomonie, WI Owner: Michele Monette Fahl
Gathering Grounds
Why did you decide to start your business? I’ve always wanted my own business…loved the idea of being “the boss” and having complete, creative freedom to express myself! I have had several, little home-based businesses over the years, but this is the first time I’ve taken the leap and decided to start one in the “real” world outside of my home! No more hiding in the comfort of my pj’s…it was time! So, when a friend approached me with the idea to share a retail space with her and her new business, I HAD to take the opportunity! What excites you the most about being your own boss? FREEDOM! I can serve my community in a way that makes my heart sing…I can set my own hours (which is so important with kids, family, relationship, etc.). I can do what I believe in without running it by someone else first! What’s your advice to others who dream about starting their own business? My advice to anyone with a dream of starting their own business would be to LOOK for doors opening up to you. The universe has a way of presenting you with opportunities to follow your dream, but you have to be open and awake to see them! Follow your gut! If something feels right, it usually is!
Congratulations! There’s a good chance you are planning your big day if you’ve found your way to our new bridal section! Perhaps you’re like us and just love the romance of being a bride! Either way, enjoy! “Pinspired” Brides
Play Up Your Pinterest Personality By: Michelle Rayburn
Charming decorations. Fantastic cakes. Elegant hairstyles. Breathtaking venues. Pinterest has it all for the bride. However, it comes with the same mix of delight and pressure as when Grammy would set us loose in the candy aisle with two quarters. So many wonderful choices accompanied by restricted time and funds. In the pre-Internet days, brides had fewer resources when it came to collecting ideas. Magazine clippings pasted in a notebook, library books, and friends’ weddings provided most of their inspiration. Today’s bride has unlimited possibilities because of idea-warehouses like Pinterest. However, it can be overwhelming for the bride who doesn’t know how to make Pinterest work best for her. Perhaps you’ll see yourself in one of these five Pinterest personalities and be “pinspired” by other Chippewa Valley brides.
Crafty Cathy This bride knows her way around the hobby store. Cathy is as comfortable with a glue gun and scissors as she is with her own fingers. She loves do-it-yourself (DIY) ideas and has the talent to match. Her Pinterest profile abounds with beautiful designs, but unless she quits her job and hibernates in her craft room for the next ten months, she won’t be able to do everything she wants to. Tirzah, an artsy-craftsy newlywed, who held her wedding at the camp where she met her husband says, “Pinterest had so many ideas, that I was adding February 2014 queenofthecastlemagazine.com
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DIY items to the wedding even a month before.” She admits that might have been a little crazy. What helped this Crafty Cathy gain perspective was some advice from newlywed brides about prioritizing. “I decided that my future husband, ceremony location, photos, and people were my top priorities,” she says. “That mental switch was instrumental in choosing our decorations, finding a photographer and picking activities for the reception. It also made it much easier and fun!” Are you a Crafty Cathy? You can survive Pinterest-inspired wedding planning if you ask yourself a few questions as you pin ideas. How much time will this project take? How much time do I have? How many friends can help me? How much does it cost? Planning carefully will help you keep your sanity and enjoy the days leading up to your wedding.
Shoestring Sally Sally has a tiny budget for her wedding and big dreams. She loves the ideas she sees on Pinterest, but each one is a new temptation to break the bank. She fears that she will have to skimp on style to save cash, and that could mean her wedding might look cheap. Newlywed Ashley S. met and married her husband at the same camp as Tirzah. She says, “I started planning my wedding just before Pinterest took the world by storm. I knew I was going to be a DIY bride, both out of necessity and out of a lifelong love of the challenge.” She says the extravagant magazine ideas fit for 20,000-dollar budgets depressed her. Although Pinterest helped immensely with her planning, in the months following her wedding, Ashley still had some regrets as she browsed through all of the ideas she wasn’t able to implement. From an organizational standpoint, Ashley has advice for the shoestring bride. Have two wedding
boards on Pinterest—a massive one for all the brainstorming, and a second one for the narrowed down ideas that you plan to use. She says, “Shoestring brides can absolutely have the wedding they want. We just have to get creative, and for me, that was the most rewarding part.”
your day, don’t. You’re the boss, and being no-so-artsy doesn’t mean you lack a thing. Play up your confidence and other strengths and plan the way you want to. Relish the time you get to spend with your groom while
Not-so-Artsy Nancy
Blissful Betty
Nancy doesn’t enjoy crafts very much. She isn’t into Pinterest like some of her friends are, and even though she may have an obligatory account and pin some ideas, she isn’t sure how to carry them out. She wants a beautiful wedding, but comparison to craftier brides paralyzes her confidence in her own style and abilities.
This wistful gal has planned for her special day since before the engagement took place. Now that it’s official, she can make her hidden Pinterest boards public. Betty loves the whole process of planning her wedding. She pins dreamy dresses, glamorous locations, and delightful ideas for invitations and decorations, but she hasn’t quite figured out the practical way to make it all happen.
other brides glue glitter and ribbon to centerpieces.
When Naomi Ashley N., a newly was planning her engaged bride who has only five wedding, she didn’t months to plan her wedding, says have a Pinterest acWhat’s Your Style? she’s been pinning ideas for a long count, but her sister time. She says Pinterest has helped Tirzah did—yes the her because “it has given me great “Crafty Cathy” one. DIY ideas and other ways to save Tirzah created a pin money. It has also given me ideas board on her own on how to make our wedding more account dedicated individualized to us.” But she also to ideas for Naomi’s admits that “seeing all of the lavish wedding. The sisters’ ideas that other people have used weddings were three and wishing that it was feasible to months apart, and have them at my own wedding” both were equally makes Pinterest a difficult place to beautiful, yet the sishang out. ters couldn’t be more different in their planning styles. Where Tirzah relished the creative process of making If you are a Blissful Betty, congratulations on wedding decorations, Naomi didn’t enjoy that as much. beginning the official planning. Now that you have Instead, she depended on her sister and other family a wedding date, it’s time to get serious about what members for help with her plan. you pin and make your dreams come to life. Go back through those boards you started so long ago to see if The bride who dislikes craft projects may feel they still match your tastes and fit with your overall social pressure to conform to a Pinterest obsession. scheme for the wedding. If you are not-so-artsy, you may have had enough of Pinaholic Patty people telling you what you should do. This is still your wedding. If you want an artistic wedding, you’ll This bride is addicted to pinning wedding ideas. It isn’t need to build team of trusted friends or a hire designer a bad thing. Patty just loves everything she sees, and who will brainstorm with you, respect your approval or she is overwhelmed by her options. She needs help nardisapproval of ideas, and help you put your vision into rowing down thousands of ideas without feeling like action. If you don’t want crafty projects to be part of she missed out on something on her special day.
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For the newly engaged Brooke, Pinterest is her unofficial wedding planner, giving her ideas, timelines, contact information, and more. She isn’t exactly a pinaholic, but she shares something in common with Pinaholic Patty—she finds the possibilities overwhelming. Brooke says Pinterest presents “so many changing and new wedding ideas that it makes me second guess and change what ideas I had previously decided on using.” She says it also “often portrays wedding ideas that are beautiful but very unrealistic for my budget and location.” She doesn’t want to settle for what she can afford at the cost of letting go of her expectations. If you are a feverish pinner, there is hope for that mountain of ideas. First, create more than one board and separate ideas by menu, venue, dress, hair, ceremony, reception, photos, honeymoon, invitations, etc. Reserve these boards for pinning only what you feasibly could use for your wedding. Then, create another board for all of the overflow. These are ideas that catch your eye, but you are unlikely use. As you get closer to the wedding, move the ideas you aren’t using to the overflow board to keep your plans uncluttered. Whatever your style, there is no right or wrong Pinterest personality. Celebrate your strengths, and manage your weaknesses and you’ll have a wedding day that reflects you perfectly. You are “pinspiring” just the way you are.
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The Heart Knows What Started with a Chat Turned into a Lasting Love By: Sarah Stokes As Cadie Michaels and Tim Raetz sit close on the couch, Cadie’s eyes light up when she says, “do you want to see the ring?” You see, she’s been waiting 10 years to say that. The Lake Hallie couple is fresh off a Christmas engagement. She tells the story of how she came home from a holiday gathering at her mom’s house to find a teddy bear with a note asking the question she’d been hoping to hear for so long. “It said Cadie Ann, will you marry me?” Cadie, a certified medical assistant, and Tim, a diesel technician, have been together since 2002. They were teenagers living thousands of miles apart. In the days before online dating was commonplace, AOL actually brought them together. She says she was bored one summer night when a message popped up from a guy in New York. She didn’t know he’d one day be her husband. Cadie says she is “in awe of how it happened and where we are today.” Just 17 at the time, they say it was an accident they found each other inside a chat room. Neither were looking for love when the western Wisconsin girl and the western New York boy connected. “There weren’t online dating sites like there are now,” Tim says. “It was taboo almost.” His bride-to-be says “I wasn’t on there to
“How can you love someone you’ve never met?” look for someone. It just happened and that’s the part I love so much. Everything happened for a reason.” February 2014
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They say emails led to nightly phone calls. Cadie filled up shoe boxes with those plastic pre-paid phone cards. 7 months goes by and the phone calls made them want to meet. Cadie says, “I knew it was right.” He says, “she’s a wonderful person. Perfect in my opinion.” Tim, still in high school, spent his entire paycheck to buy a ticket to meet the girl he will marry. Cadie says she couldn’t stop hugging him and crying at the airport. She still can’t believe it to this day. “How can you love someone you’ve never met?” Cadie says until now she hasn’t shared the whole love story, fearing people would judge them. “It’s hard for me to open up and talk about it because we’ve never really done that. But when I look back it is amazing how two people can love each other from the inside out, which we have.” Cadie says she’s ready to let the world know how they fell in love. As they plan their wedding, she wants other people in the same boat to see it can be a happily ever after story. They’ve made it through the transition into being adults, college and Tim making the move to Wisconsin in 2003. Now they say they’re excited to marry and start a family. “It has taught me a lot,” Cadie says. “Follow your heart.”
Wedding W is
he
Fal l 2014 or s: 20 O utdoor, Ru 15 st ic Feel C ampf ire an d Firewor ks
This p e r u t ic P l ps to He i Beauty T r Best ou You Be Y othbauer By: Alice
One of my favorite pictures of all time is of my husband and me from our wedding. We’re at the altar of the church and I’m stretching up on my tip toes to give my 6’2” husband a simple kiss at the end of our ceremony. It’s the “you may kiss” the bride moment. The picture sits on the table next to my bed, tucked between the lamp and alarm clock. Referencing the cliché, “a picture is worth a thousand words,” would perfectly convey what this particular picture means to me. In an instant it takes me back to that day, and yet, reminds me of similar kisses we exchange as we depart and greet each other. It’s also the only picture that has made me smile 1000 times just at a glance, even after 22 years. Most homes are filled with all sorts of pictures; school ones showing off missing teeth, senior profiles forever capturing fashion from the past, family portraits that often cause us to question the power of matching, and wedding photographs freezing moments of pure joy and excitement. When you glance at a picture on your wall do you smile inside or cringe at the fashion choices of that day? My FAQ? Was hair that took a can of hairspray to defy gravity ever a good idea? When I have the honor of meeting with a bride-to-be for a skin care and makeup consultation, the two things I emphasize as being the most memorable from her wedding day are the union of her marriage and the pictures that will hang on her wall. My goal is to help her create a look that will be worth 1000+ happy glances and smiles when she looks at her favorite picture.
How do you want to look on your wedding day?
R
It starts with skin care. · Brides who are three months pre-wedding, can implement a skin care regime of daily cleansing and moisturizing, in addition to exfoliating 1-2 times per week, to create glowing skin · Stay consistent with your routine to give your skin a chance to adjust to the new treatments. · If your wedding is closer than three months, do not disrupt your regular cleansing and moisturizing routine. Instead, add an exfoliating treatment, done once a week for the 3-4 weeks prior to your wedding. · For the day of the wedding, a light weight moisturizer and foundation primer are important to prepare the skin for a flawless finish. Plenty of water and sleep will make your eyes bright and skin radiant too. Here comes the bride. · Whether pew, chair or sandy beach, the groom and guest’s first glimpse of the bride will be from a distance. Choose makeup to enhance your photo opportunities. Consider the difference of more dramatic makeup required for an evening wedding (because of low light) or lighter for daytime (or outdoor, natural light) weddings. · Be the best you and enhance your natural beauty with soft, neutral, makeup colors and application. Imagine your wedding portrait 10 or 20 years from now, would you think your makeup still looks pretty?
· Combine a matte foundation, concealer and loose powder to create a flawless look. · Define eyes with smoky eyeliner applied lightly along upper and lower lashes. · Use matte bronzer to warm the skin and even out the color difference between face and neck. A pop of color on the apples of your cheeks will look healthy, fresh and glamorous. · Lashes, lashes, lashes are the most important part of defining your eyes. Choose waterproof or water resistant liner and mascara so any tears of happiness aren’t black streaks on your cheeks. One living room wall in my house is completely bare. It’s waiting; 2014 will bring the wedding of my oldest daughter, Hannah. 22 years later and about 1000 bridal makeovers, I’m ready to help my bride to be and her bridesmaids look their best. I’ll also have a new place to look at a picture and smile.
Salon Tips for the Big Day Get your hair trial run done before you dress shop so you can see the effect Don’t shampoo your hair before you get it styled for the wedding Get a gel polish manicure 2-3 days before the wedding. It will last 1-2 weeks Spray tan Thursday night if you have a Saturday wedding If you prefer waxing service, go 4 days before the wedding
In March: Ideas on how to make your big day more memorable for your guests!
C ongrats t o all t he ! s m o o r g d n a s e id r b a are in l u f lp e h d n a n u f e Watch f or mor t x e n in y a d ig b r u o f or mat ion f or y mont h’s issue!
What was the best investment at your wedding? Tracy Hartman Gassen: A dress that cost more, but fit. Karin Sundly Hawkins: Good food and a fun DJ. I’ve been married 20 years and people remember eating well and having a great time at our dance.
Renee Kragness Berthiaume: I look back and the things I
appreciate the most are the things we didn’t pay for.
Bridgette Czaja Leonauskus: The best
investment was the band/DJ. I still remember the dancer floor was full all night long!
Jill Lynum Willians: The best investment was simplicity. Start out happy not in debt!
Janie Baker: The license, and it
hasn’t expired after 46 years!
Shannyn Smith Pinkert: Hire a
videographer! I don't regret a penny I spent hiring ours.
Beth Peterson: The sit down dinner.
We were laughing out loud this month on Facebook! Thanks for sharing! (If you want to read more head to our fan page!)
That moment when... Julie: That moment when you realize...the little boy peeing off the top of the park slide is yours.
Pam: That moment we you hit send and realize the snarky comment you made is going to ALL !!!!
Claire: That moment when you realize you have had a large piece of pepper between your front teeth since lunch--and it's 5:00 p.m.
Sarah: that moment when you realize your helpful father-in-law folded the towels AND your underwear!
Patricia: You thought it was a picture of your mother but it's YOU!
Mitzie: That moment when... you put the meatloaf in the refrigerator to cook cause your toddler kept you up all night.
Teresa: you call to talk to your husband, but your father-in-law answers. Not too bad, except when you say "Hey, baby" and he goes along with it.
Look for new things coming every month! “Cheer the Volunteer” where we celebrate awesome women who give back to their community! “Oh Fer Cute” will be all about the cute moments in our lives. Does anyone have a baby panda? (just a joke) Plus, we’ll continue to tap into our readers’ advice with the top 3 things great employees show their bosses! Check in often on Facebook to share your best tips! Have a great day!
Scene Thanks to Paula Bonnin for snapping a picture at the very cold Clearwater Winter Parade in Eau Claire in December!
Advertiser Index All Family Dental Page 30 Appel Chiropractic Page 23 Banbury Art Crawl Page 23 Bijou Bistro and Catering Page 44 Camille’s Sidewalk Café Page 39 Chippewa Valley Technical College Page 9 Christman Dental Page 23 Eau Claire Floral Page 15 Edward Jones Page 40 Empty Bowls Page 33 Gathering Grounds Page 15 House Blend Studio Page 16 Hypnosis Center of Eau Claire Page 43 Kelly’s Kids Page 28 Leg Up Communications Page 46 Lily Pad Lab Page 29 Living Room Coffee House Page 7 Foreign 5 Page 44 Mainstream Boutique Page 37 Mayo Clinic Health System Page 24
Mr. Catering and Party Planners Page 44 My Friends Place Spa Salon Back Cover Hope Gospel Mission Page 33 Polka Dot Powerhouse Page 39 REALiving Page 40 Regis Catholic Schools Page 30 REMAX Affiliates Page 16 Sacred Heart/St. Joseph’s Hospital Page 6 Smiles in Motion Page 28 Sparrows by the Creek Page 3 Stavroula Designs Page 16 Tank Goodness Page 3 Tastefully Simple Page 15 The Center Page 55 The Learning Tree Child Care Center Page 30 Thrivent Financial Page 16 Urban Galleria Page 2 WEAU 13 News Page 10 Western Dairyland Page 36
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