Queen of the Castle Magazine, January 2015, Central WI version by Queen of the Castle Magazine- past issues

Celebrating the Wonderful Women of Wisconsin

January 2015 Free

Cover Story:

A Fierce Cause Musical Mavens Birthday Planning, Baby! Hiring House Help? 1 Dress, 3 Ways

Stokes

HERZOG

Advertising + Public Relations + Marketing

Studios

Coming in January 2015!

2015. More

Big Surprises!

Stokes

HERZOG

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Queen of the Castle Magazine Janua1r5y 20

P.O. BOX 8031 EAU CLAIRE, WI 54702 (715) 797-1317

sarahstokes@queenofthecastlemagazine.com

www.queenofthecastlemagazine.com

We’re in 50 towns & 330+ businesses and always ready to grow! Let us know if there’s a business you’d like to see us in next! It’s free! Not sure where to ﬁnd us in your town? Head over to: www.queenofthecastlemagazine.com and click on “Find us” to see a list of the towns!

Find the magazine near you!

MAGAZINE STAFF: Editor/Owner/Publisher: Sarah Stokes sarahstokes@queenofthecastlemagazine.com (715) 797-1317 Assistant Editor: Hannah Cole Hannah@queenofthecastlemagazine.com (715) 210-4242 Layout Designers: Sarah Stokes Melissa Walerius Hannah Cole Ad Design: Chris Herzog Jenn Louviere Ad Sales Executives: Jamie Wirkus (Wausau Area) wausau@queenofthecastlemagazine.com (715) 215-2496 Jodi Fitzpatrick (Black River Falls) ads@queenofthecastlemagazine.com Thank you to all the contributors and advertisers! We’re so grateful to have you!

Go to our homepage and click on “Find us” for a listing of the 50 towns we’re in and where you can ﬁnd a copy! © 2015 Queen of the Castle Magazine. Queen of the Castle Magazine is published by It Always Fits LLC. The writing, artwork, and photography in Queen of the Castle Magazine remain the work product of the respective authors, artists, and photographers creating the same. Its Always Fits LLC and Queen of the Castle Magazine are not liable for use of any copyrighted work provided by its writers or advertisers. Opinions expressed in Queen of the Castle Magazine are the opinions of the writers, artists, photographers, or advertisers themselves, not the opinions of its editors and staff.

We feel proud to print on partially recycled paper. Please pass this issue around to help reuse and when you are ﬁnished paging through it, please recycle it as well! Thank you for doing your part to help us be environmentally friendly! January 2015

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The

Empowerment Issue

Featured

Fierce Cause Pg. 6 All about that Bass Pg. 20

All is Well- health & wellness

Sticking With It Horse Helpers

Queen Moms

Birthday Planning

Castle Careers

1 Dress, 3 Ways

Tiaras & Tulle - bridal

Favorite Favors Apple Blossom Brides

Pg. 46 Pg. 54 Pg. 56

Queenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Quarters - home & garden

Clean Living Budget Decor

Pg. 60 Pg. 61

January 2015

Pg. 26 Pg. 31

Pg. 34

Empowered, Engaged & Enlightened! After reading about the awesome things women are doing in terms of volunteer work and following their hearts, this issue is sure to make you feel inspired! Whether it has you picking up a musical instrument you’ve always been curious about or if you pick up a new cause that you can get behind with your heart, I hope our featured articles make you as proud of the women as I was after reading them. We’ve got a whole new year ahead of us and while we certainly know that resolutions are a part of ﬂipping that calendar to January, we want to be a different kind of women’s magazine. So when you see tips and encouragement in our pages, know they come from real women in your part of the world. Our goal is to make you feel better when you read this, not inadequate! You are awesome and we want you to know it!

Sarah Stokes Owner/Editor/Publisher

We just can’t thank you enough for the past year’s worth of fun. Watch for new locations on our distribution list on www.queenofthecastlemagazine.com and exciting new things in 2015! Next month we are celebrating my ﬁrst anniversary with the magazine! Woo hoo! (It’s been around since 2007) Have yourself a fabulous day and thank you for making Queen of the Castle Magazine a part of your life! Enjoy reading and here’s to empowerment!

Take a

Tour

of the content

Love,Sarah

Each month we have themed feature stories and sections (below) that cover all aspects of a woman’s life - they are color coded on the border of our magazine’s pages! (colors shown here in our key) Our bridal section every month! The only place to find monthly bridal stories to help area families plan weddings!

This is our monthy career section! You’ll find all kinds of stories that help women in all aspects of their careers. We also feature all kinds of businesses and lines of work!

Our wellness section covers everything from health to our relationships! We’ve heard great feedback that it’s not preachy, it’s helpful! Fresh, different content monthly.

Women want their homes and gardens to be lovely. We have local advice for real homes and real outdoor spaces. Area women look to us for tips they can actually use!

A real place for real moms! We give busy moms of all ages a reason to take a minute and read! Funny takes on parenting and useful info. for area families!

Themes in First 1/2 of 2015

January - Empowerment February - The New Face of Family March - Making the Most of It April - Teamwork May - Pay it Forward June - DIY January 2015

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â&#x20AC;&#x153;You can educate people at a younger age and convince them that they have inherent dignity and self-worth...â&#x20AC;?

s e v o ng m

i k a M AND breaking chains

Wisconsin woman creates connections to combat human trafficking

By Hannah Cole When you see a social injustice what do you do? Get angry? Turn a blind eye? Hope someone does something about it (but it won’t be you)? Doubt that you can do anything about it? Nic Jean Schultz (Nicole) is not waiting for people to jump on her bandwagon; she is proving that one person can make a difference. If you knew Nicole you’d know she loves to wear hats- everything from fedoras to large floppies, but she also wears many hats in another aspect in her life. She serves on the board for Positive Avenues, an organization that provides a safe, stigma-free environment along with social services for persons living with mental illness and those who may be experiencing homelessness. She also serves on the board for Fierce Freedom, an organization that raises awareness and educates the prevention of sex trafficking. And at UW-Eau Claire Nicole is Dr. Schultz where she teaches a variety of communication classes. With those many hats in her personal and professional life, she is helping build networks and connections among these non-profits to combat sex trafficking. “I think people don’t realize that it’s something that is happening in Wisconsin. I think there’s a lot to learn on local, national and international levels.” One of the classes she teaches is Social Problems Research Groups. Last semester, she and a group of her students teamed up with Fierce Freedom to help bring a gap to light. “There’s a disproportionate vulnerability among people who are homeless or have mental illness that may be sex trafficked that aren’t aware that that’s happening or they don’t know resources to go to,” Nicole said explaining that the gap is between the people Positive Avenues serves and Fierce Freedom’s mission.

In December, Nicole and her group hosted a fundraiser for the cause. In addition, they filled baggies with toiletries (toothpaste, shampoo, soap, etc.) and information about relevant resources and warning signs of trafficking that were distributed to the guests at Positive Avenues. Nicole said among those at risk are youth, college students and people who may be homeless. She referenced a reported trafficking in Chippewa Falls last fall. News reports showed police said a 17-year-old girl asked a man to buy her cigarettes. In exchange, the report shows the teen told the man he could have sex with a 14-year-old. “Cigarettes for sex. Manipulation. I don’t know that that person knew, or would say, ‘That [sex trafficking] is what is happening to me,’ and much less know that there are resources to help.” Nicole explained. Her passion of connecting people to make a difference will reach a whole new level when she and eight others travel to Thailand later this month to get a greater understanding of what sex trafficking looks like across the world and they will study how Thailand handles the issue. She said Thailand is a country known for their sex industry and a common place for people to do business for that reason. The nine women going will experience Thrive Rescue, a home for youth who have been sex trafficked. They will socialize January 2015 queenofthecastlemagazine.com 7

with the children there and reach out to children living in slums. “The structure is here in the U.S. to help prevent that from happening, the awareness, prevention and recognition,” Nicole explained. “In other places it’s not like that. It’s about what’s going on here that’s also going on somewhere else and how they are dealing with that.” Nicole said she is most exited to work with youth and hopes to gain additional knowledge about trafficking from this trip so that she can further connect entities in the area. “You can educate people at a younger age and convince them that they have inherent dignity and self-worth and that this [sex trafficking] is not O.K. and that’s what this is. Maybe they’ll be less of a bystander for themselves and others when it’s happening.” 8 queenofthecastlemagazine.com

January 2015

Signs a person you know could be a victim of human trafficking: •

Has a boyfriend that is significantly older than her

• •

Suddenly has more expensive clothing or jewelry Has a tattoo with either a barcode or someone else’s name Sudden change in group of friends Dissappears for a few days without explanation Not in control of personal documents Becomes depressed, withdrawn or combative with family Not allowed to speak without third party present Poor physical health Is not free to come and go as they wish House has strange look such as boarded up windows or curtains constantly drawn

• • • • • • • •

If you suspect someone is victim of human trafficking, please call your local law enforcement at 911 or the National Human Trafficking hotline at 1-888-3737-888. According to www.fiercefreedom.org

A Statement in Clay

Bringing Sex Trafficking Awareness to Wisconsin By Nanci J. Mortimer Kathy Steinke’s husband, Dennis, came home from volunteering one evening and gave Kathy an earful. The subject? Human trafficking and modern-day slavery. The facts? It’s happening everywhere, including here in the Chippewa Valley. Dennis, owner of Always Over the Top Photography, had just covered the annual Justice Run, a fundraiser for two trafficking-fighting organizations, International Justice Mission (IJM)* and Fierce Freedom.** Kathy and Dennis Dec. 1-15 Saving Grace Church did some Dec. 15-29 Crossroads Church research Dec. 29-Jan.12 Chippewa Falls Public Library together, Jan. 12-26 L.E. Phillips Library discovering that Jan.26-Feb.9: Calvary Baptist Church there are Feb.9 - 23: Harvestime Church more Feb. 23-Mar 9: Jacob’s Well than 30 March 9-23: Menomonie Public Library million May 4-18: Wesleyan Church people enslaved worldwide today. Two million of those people are children, both boys and girls, trapped in the sex trade. The more Kathy read, the more her heart ached. She saw a pattern in the victims’ stories: “I trusted someone, they abducted me, and I realized I wasn’t going home. I was forced to do what they wanted.”

Sara’s touring schedule (Eau Claire):

“When I heard about this, I knew I had to make something to honor these people. I had to tell their stories,” Kathy said. One morning, she got out some plastic and cardboard tubes, bubble wrap, and paper, and built a rough frame for a sculpture. She added clay to the frame, building up from the bottom. By evening, she had a basic shape of a little girl. The next day, she sculpted details, carving out facial features and clothing. Last, she fashioned the chains. She put a wide iron around the girl’s neck to symbolize her inability to cry out, and another one around her ankle to symbolize her inability to run. “That is why we need to help them,” Kathy said. “We need to use our voices, hands and feet to tell their stories and set them free.” Modern-day slaves aren’t in real chains (like in the 1800s), but they are just as bound as if they were. Some are trapped in foreign countries where they don’t speak the language. Others live under threat of violence and/or the influence of drugs. Still more are bound by locked doors and restricted schedules. Kathy decided to keep her work simple. She didn’t want people to be distracted by the color of hair or clothing, so she left it white. The lighting and shadows make a more lasting impression that way, and it becomes more symbolic than realistic. When she was finished, she named the sculpted girl Sara.

“When I was making Sara,” Kathy said, “she seemed like a real person to me. When I got done carving her face, her eyes, and her tears, I felt like I had to apologize to her for all that had happened.” Kathy has donated Sara to the public, and Sara has a busy touring schedule. She has made appearances in churches, coffeehouses, and libraries, raising awareness wherever she goes. “People tell me that Sara really moves them, deep down into their souls,” Kathy said. “Some people just want to hug her.” It is fine to touch the sculpture, but not to hug. Sara is a bit fragile. “One time while moving her, we broke one of the chains.” Which is emblematic of Kathy’s goal: to break the chains, one link at a time. Ways you can help break the chains: • Educate yourself. Know the signs of a trafficked victim. Read IJM and Fierce Freedom websites. Other important organizations: Not for Sale, Polaris, Love 146. • Use your talents to tell their stories. • Donate money to reputable organizations. • Shop wisely. Some products we buy could have slave labor in the production line. See www.free2work.org (part of the Not for Sale website). • Volunteer. *International Justice Mission is a non-profit organization that fights slavery and other injustices world-wide. They have rescued thousands of slaves in their seventeen-year history (www.ijm.org). **Fierce Freedom is a local non-profit organization founded in 2013 that battles trafficking in Wisconsin through education, legislation and victim support (www.fiercefreedom.org or see their Facebook page).

Contact Kathy or Dennis Steinke: 715-552-2761, or email: kdrsteinke@yahoo.com if you are interested in hosting Sara. Also, see thirstforjustice.shutterfly.com for information on Kathy’s new project: making and selling fund-raising mugs. Nanci J. Mortimer, a wife and mother of three girls, is a children’s book author, a free-lance writer, a general school assistant and a modern-day-slavery abolitionist. You can read more of her anti-slavery writings at 101daysfortheslaves.wordpress.com.

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January 2015

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Thanks for the warm welcome, Wausau and Marshfield readers! We are printing thousands of magazines just for you! As our reader and advertiser base grows, you’ll see more and more content specific to you! Thanks to our first Wausau contributor! Find her article in our yellow-bordered career section! Contact us if you’re interested in getting involved with an ad or an article! Advertisers: wausau@queenofthecastlemagazine.com Writers: writer@queenofthecastlemagazine.com

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Now booking for February! Ask Jamie about the Valentine’s Day Gift guide! RSVP by: January 9

Meet Jamie Wirkus! Our Wausau area sales executive! 10 queenofthecastlemagazine.com

January 2015

Hooked on a cause How Cultural Cloth Was Born By: Hannah Cole

They say if you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Instead of fishing, two Wisconsinites are empowering women in Guatemala, teaching a skill that they can pass down in order to be self-sufficient. They are teaching them how to hook rugs. Mary Anne Wise and Jody Slocum are the co-founders of Cultural Cloth and long- time friends who met back in college. In 2005, Mary Anne met up with Jody in Guatemala where she had been volunteering off and on for the past 17 years, helping small coffee farmers find better markets. What they came upon was the catalyst for their cause. “We walked into something that I couldn’t pretend I hadn’t seen. There was a mudslide where some of her [Jody’s] good friends, indigenous Guatemalan people, were living in a village and one night after three days of heavy rain and mud, debris slid off a dormant volcano. It buried half of the village alive under 15 feet of mud,” Mary Anne explained. She and Jody left Guatemala pledging to help the survivors. With backgrounds in weaving, they decided to offer rug-hooking workshops in hopes to encourage economic growth among individuals

and families. The first weekend-long class was successful with a turnout of 29 women and 1 man. In one of Mary Anne’s first classes she realized they would have to rethink their teaching strategies after interacting with the attendees, in particular, 46-year-old Carmen. “Carmen had a look like a deer in the headlights, because she had never made a mark on paper before,” Mary Anne explained. They also had to look at how they were going to communicate effectively. In Guatemala there are 23 main Mayan languages, which is their mother tongue. Only half of those 23 can communicate together. So Mary Anne and Jody created a curriculum in which numeracy and literacy were not a prerequisite for participation and they used several different interpreters to go from English to Spanish to the Mayan languages. After each class, Mary Anne and Jody would conduct one-on-one consultations with each student. Years later, when Carmen was 53, she told Mary Anne something that solidified their mission even more, something she will never forget. “I had reminded her of the first time I met her and how far she has come,” Mary Anne said. “She stood up and she said, ‘Mary Anne, I January 2015

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used to be a small person - that’s how people see you if you’ve never been to school and if you don’t know math, but now that I’m selling my rugs, now that I’m earning a living, I see the world a differently. I’m not a small person anymore.’” Knowing they couldn’t just teach the skill and leave, they decided to train seven indigenous women, including Carmen, to become rug-hooking teachers. Those seven returned to their villages to teach others and now there are over 60 women making a living hooking rugs. And they’ve been able to make some life-changing purchases, like faucets to get portable water. “That might cost $500, but it might as well be $500,000 because they couldn’t afford it.” Another woman who lives on a mountainside, with five young children, had water coming to her house, but she didn’t have a sink. She had to wash clothes in a bucket or trudge down the mountain to a stream. With her rug money she was able to buy a big cast iron concrete sink. Some women are making even bigger purchases. Carmen, who had always lived with her adult son, felt bad because he was struggling to provide for his own family. Recently, with her rug money she built a small 8x10 house adjacent to her son’s. Mary Anne and Jody’s classes successfully empowered these women all while keeping their culture intact. Looking at their rugs is like a breath of fresh air. All the colors and patterns are like nothing we see in the States. Mary Anne said that was the point. “Part of the curriculum was to learn these embroidery elements. We’ve become so homogenous, from mall to mall or town to town. We wanted them to retain the identity of the place where they were made. Guatemala has a living textile tradition. Meaning if you go into a village, chances are the women January 2015

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are wearing a hand-woven or hand-embroidered garment that only women of that particular village would wear. They read like code, a woman can be anywhere in the country, but if she’s wearing her village’s clothing she will be identifiable from that village.” Mary Anne said, “The bottom line is access to opportunities. It’s amazing to me what these women have accomplished through this single, modest opportunity. It really has transformed lives.” To check out the rug collection or other products (they represent women in 16 other countries- from Afghanistan to Morocco), go to www.culturalcloth.com. Information about a rug hooking tour in Guatemala and rug hooking workshops in Wisconsin is also available there.

Acts of Random Kindness An Outreach Open for a Few Short Months is Making a Big Impact By: Hannah Cole Life doesn’t come without its struggles, but for some families those situations may be harder than others. They are grateful for a little community support. Heidi Park is a mom living on a low income and raising a child with a disability. Her 15-year-old has DiGeorge syndrome and she has had 15 surgeries so far in her lifetime. Heidi also has this disability, but it is not as severe. When Heidi and her family were in need of a few things their angel came in the form of an A.R.K.

of storage units until they were able to obtain their current space on Dewey Street in Eau Claire. Pretty soon shelving was donated and they had their first organized giving day this past November. They served 25 individuals and families in their first week and 75 in their second. “We are in a better situation than most people to help out. Yeah, times may be tough, but I know that we’ll always make it. Some people don’t have homes or have six kids and don’t know how they’re going to eat from one night to the next. We [Karla and Keith] are survivors; we find a way to make things work… and God says to sow your seed in the time of need.” Karla stresses the importance of donating year-round, not just in winter. “I think people start caring around the colder months, but there’s need all year long. It’s constant, everyday. You don’t necessarily see it [the need] in this area, because people can be too proud to come forward and ask for help. We want people to feel like they can come in here even if they are down and out and don’t have a penny to their name. They’re not just a number; we want them to have an experience. We laugh here.”

Karla Highley and her fiancé Keith Swedlund are the owners of A.R.K (Acts of Random Kindness), a place where people in need can choose items to take home, anything from the basic necessities to knick-knacks. Not only are Karla and Keith helping people put winter clothes on peoples’ backs to beat the harsh Wisconsin cold, they’re giving them something of intangible value.

Hope.

Adults can pick up three items for any gender, two clothing items and one miscellaneous item. Kids can pick out three child-oriented items. Anyone can pick up a coat, gloves, pair of boots, etc. as well.

Karla and Keith are not strangers to struggle. They’ve had their own ups and downs and in October 2013 their commercial cleaning business had lost $50,000 in accounts. The pain of watching people go through similar problems to theirs made Karla want to help. That same month Karla was surfing Craigslist looking for people to help, when she stumbled upon a mom who needed Halloween costumes for her two kids. Karla and her family had some costumes they weren’t using, so Karla gave them to her. They maintained contact, texting occasionally, when Karla asked if she needed anything else. Somewhat jokingly the woman mentioned a car. “I told her, ‘We actually have a van that we don’t use.’ I talked to my fiancé and we decided to give it to her. It was an older van, but it would get her from A to B and transport her kids to school.” That’s when Karla and her fiancé went head first into helping.

“People do take more. We let them. We’re not like, ‘This is what you take and this is what you get.’ We’re both too giving to be like that. We just had to set some sort of ground rules to go by for now.” Karla says the outreach has taught her many lessons. “Not to take what you have for granted is a huge thing. You’ll complain that you can’t do this or that, but there are others way worse off than we are. Compassion. Empathy. It hits on every level. You’d have to not have a heart to not let this job affect you.”

They started storing items and running their organization out January 2015

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Karla recalls whom she refers to as “the ice cream kids,” a group of three 9-year-olds who came around the shop asking about the place. She and Keith ended up giving them some money for ice cream. One of the kids returned later.

Karla says she’s noticed that those who have the least tend to give the most. “Everyday this older lady, who has cancer, stops in to see us on her walk on the way to treatment. She always puts money in that jar.” Heidi added, “A lot of people need them in the community. Without them, things would be a little bit harder. I think they’re angels.” A.R.K. is in need of coats, boots, gloves and warm clothes. All types of donations are accepted, except for old TV and computer monitors, and can be dropped off at their 224 N. Dewey Street, Eau Claire location during their business hours, Wednesdays and the last Saturday of every month. Monetary donations are also accepted.

“We heard this little knock on the door. I answered and he said, ‘Do you have any shoes?’ I was so sad. We picked out a coat and some warm shirts too.”

Hannah Cole is the Assistant Editor at Queen of the Castle Magazine and is a former local radio intern whose family roots in the area date back to the 1860’s. Although she has visited 16 countries, her grandparents' home on the north side of Eau Claire is still her favorite place.

The two serve people with bleak situations every day: house fire victims, domestic violence victims, and others who are up against life’s challenges. Karla and Keith dream of starting a homeless shelter in the future. “Somewhere where they have a place to go all day long. A place where they can hang out and they’re not in a hurry to get them out the door.”

hannah@queenofthecastlemagazine.com

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January 2015

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January 2015

Healthy Aging Never too late for healthy living

Thursday, January 15 2:00 pm

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A PASSION that

EMPOWERS How a Moment on a School Bus Launched a Lifetime of Music Musi By: Hannah Cole

magine traveling to great, foreign places like Italy, Austria and Germany — three countries and 11 cities all in 12 day’s time — and wrapping up your exotic trip in none other than… Durand, as in Durand, Wisconsin. That’s a month in the life of International Saxophonist Sue Orfield. But for Sue, the venue doesn’t matter as much as the purpose… the music. “Durand has a little budding scene down there; for the size of the town, it’s kind of amazing. I’ve entrenched myself in local scenes as well,” she says. Whether she’s playing for packed audiences in far off places or playing in a town with a population of 1,900, Sue’s passion for music radiates. And that passion came at a young age. Sue grew up in Menomonie where her parents had a piano in their house. She idolized her older brother who took lessons and, who she said, was like a god. She begged her parents for lessons as well and started in the 1st grade. When it came time to pick an instrument to play in 5th grade band, the answer sang to her. “I was riding with my brother on the big yellow school bus, the radio was playing and this sound came on the radio. I asked my brother, ‘What is that sound?!’ He said, ‘That’s a saxophone.’ And I said, ‘That’s what I’m going to play.’” So Sue started on the tenor sax. She later attended Lawerence University, intending to be a chemistry major, but she couldn’t resist the calling. Two months later she changed her studies to music and said she’s never looked back. Sue and her friend Heather later moved to Seattle in 1990 where she carved out her music career. She fondly remembers playing with her first cover band there. “I was young, brand new at this (I had played to school crowds, jazz gigs where people don’t fully pay attention) and this was at a little club where people danced to the music. The crowed erupted in applause mid-song, which happens, but as a 24-yearold I didn’t know that, and I smiled which made me stop playing!” Sue laughed. “I realized, other people like this too; we’re communicating. It was a powerful moment!” Fourteen years later she was back in Wisconsin. Sue keeps busy touring internationally and locally with several groups, one of which is a west coast group made up of her

friends and musical family from Seattle called The Tiptons Sax Quartet with whom she goes on the European tours. Also, she has her own show on a community television channel, The Sue Orfield Showwhich showcases musical groups and musicians from the Upper Midwest. Sue is living and breathing her passion. Only for a moment did she ever doubt her future with music. “I thought, ‘All of my idols are guys and they were African American… and dead! I asked myself, ‘Am I really going to be able to do this?’ Yeah I am; it doesn’t make any difference!” Sue is getting used to the idea of being a role model herself. She taught at a jazz camp last year for the first time and she learned of the encouragement she’s unknowingly giving young female musicians. “While I was busy feeling a little insecure about my inability to teach, because that’s not my world, we were having faculty concerts and I was playing and the only female. For me, that’s always been the case, but a counselor told me she had heard some of the girls talking in the dorm; they thought it was so cool that I was the only girl and I was kicking a**!” Sue beamed throughout her entire interview. “It’s my art and it is my voice. I get to focus on my passion everyday. When I’m on stage that’s when I’m really happy. That’s the moment right there.”

The next Sue Orfield show tapes January 29th; for more information and details, visit www.sueorfield.com, www.sueorfield.cvctv.org or The Sue Orfield Show Facebook page.

Know someone who would like to read this magazine online? It’s available 24/7 on: www.queenofthecastlemagazine.com January 2015

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All About That Bass A Flutist Ventures to Other Regions

of the Musical World, Invites You to Join By: Julie Majkowski

s a woman of a “certain age,” hanging out in a guitar shop on a Saturday afternoon is rather unusual for me. Yet, several years ago my son-in-law and I spent some quality time together scoping out bass guitars in several Minneapolis guitar stores. We had a great time trying out the different guitars, but the most fun was watching the change in demeanor as the sales people came to understand that we weren’t looking for a bass for Ryan; we were looking for a bass for this woman of a “certain age!” I felt terrific loading my new bass guitar into the car, although I also had feelings of trepidation. As a flutist since the age of 12, what was I doing with this large stringed instrument that felt so unwieldy in my hands? After several years of bass lessons, which I called my “lessons in humiliation” (though at no fault of my wonderfully patient teacher), and putting in hours of practice until my once quite lovely fingers were crusty with calluses, I reached my goal of playing bass in a community theater pit orchestra. What a blast! Years of playing mostly melody in the upper register were replaced by driving the group with my thumping bass line. I felt like a whole new musical person. What power!

Perhaps you did check the box, but ended up being a different sort of musician

than of your dreams.

As I thumped away, I began to think about how much joy I was getting out of adding a new instrument into my life. I started to think about the fact that most of our musical lives are determined by the choice we made as early adolescents when it came time to choose whether or not we would participate in choir or band. Luckily for me my decision at that time worked out. I played in the high school band, became a flute major at UW-Eau Claire, and I have played and taught my instrument for years and years. I imagine there are many folks who might have become musicians except for the fact that they didn’t check the “I want to be in choir or band” box on the form that critical day long ago. Perhaps you did check the box, but ended up being a different sort of musician than of your dreams. Maybe you had a dream of playing the saxophone, but you were encouraged to play trumpet because they had too darn many sax players already. Perhaps your auntie had a clarinet in the attic, just waiting for you to play, but you had your sights set on being the next Ringo Starr. Could that box that you checked on that form really determine your life as a musician for the rest of your livelong days? January 2015

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Becoming a musician or a different kind of musician later in life can be liberating. It can be difficult and uncomfortable at first, but in time it can be one of the best things that you ever did for yourself. Perhaps it is time for you to go back in history and check a different box on that form. I imagine that you are feeling nervous about it. I did too. I couldn’t imagine walking into Roger’s Guitar Studio and trying to force my stiff, old ladyfingers to land on the right frets. Here is what you need to do. First, get over the fact that you might be bad at a new instrument. You will find it challenging for a while, but before you know it you will find that you can play along with your teacher and maybe play with a piano accompaniment. It is an exhilarating feeling to play a new instrument. Even if you are playing a beginning solo in the first book, it gives one a feeling of pleasure and pride. Now you have accepted the fact that you will not be Yo Yo Ma immediately and you are ready to jump in. The next step is to contact a teacher. You will find many fine music teachers in our area. Why wait? And if you haven’t been playing that instrument that you loved in high school, why not dig it out and do some playing? Find yourself a teacher and bring your music back. When you have checked that box let me know. You can stop on down to the pit next time you see my name in a theater playbill. I’ll be beaming as I crank out those bass notes for you. Chippewa Valley Music Teachers Association at cvmusicteachers.org Eau Claire Music School at eauclairemusicschool.com Morgan Music at morganmusiconline.com UW-Eau Claire music faculty at uwec.edu/mus-the/Faculty/directory/htm

Julie is the owner of the Julie Majkowski Music Studio, specializing in teaching ﬂute and piano to adults and young people. Julie is a member of the Chippewa Valley Concert Band, leads the Bella Flauta Flute Ensemble, and is a conductor and player in the pit orchestras of the Chippewa Valley Theater Guild and the Eau Claire Children’s Theater.

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How Looking Back Moves Them Ahead By: Ashlyn Yates and Kim Gillett There are so many life experiences and choices that can change how each of us think, live and what moves us ahead. Looking back when I was young, the pressure was who had the coolest comb in their back pocket. Fast forward, now it’s who has the coolest phone in their back pocket! In a world of so many different pressures and challenges for girls at such young ages, an organization in Eau Claire called Girls on the Run (GOTR) helps move them ahead in a positive way. Ashyln Yates, a GOTR alumnae and seventh grader, looks back on her year in the organization and shares how it moved her ahead to new opportunities she said she would have never imagined for herself doing. “I am so glad that I joined Girls When I ran, I made on the Run in fifth grade, because it helped me learn to love and created bonds with myself and follow my dreams. I learned to not care about what other girls while others think about how I look and how I act. Girls on the Run has helped me become a better and active. athlete, gave me team work skills, and most importantly, has helped me gain confidence to be myself and embrace who I am. Looking back, when I first joined, I was afraid that since none of my friends were going, it would be boring and awkward. Within the first few days I was having so much fun and laughing until it hurt! When I ran, I made new friends and created bonds with other girls while staying healthy and active. I was also worried that I couldn’t run because running was SO hard, but my coaches had helpful techniques. Running may have been hard at times, but I knew that no matter how I did my teammates and coaches were there to support me. Moving ahead I now see how Girls on the Run

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has influenced me because I am on the crosscountry team at my school. I am so grateful that I was able to be a Girl on the Run because to run you need lots of confidence and without GOTR, I would not have moved ahead and joined cross country and have all the memories that I have now. I have encouraged my parents to move ahead and run with me. Now we are a healthy, active Ashlyn (left) with her sister after the 5K family. In 2014, we completed the Eau Claire Marathon Relay as a family team of four. Girls on the Run was a great experience for me.” Ashlyn is one of the nearly 900 girls that have participated in the program in Eau Claire County since its arrival in 2006. GOTR is a 10-week positive youth development program for girls in 3rd -5th grade. We inspire girls to be healthy and confident with an experienced-based curriculum that encourages moving and running. The goal of the program is to unleash confidence through accomplishment while establishing a lifetime appreciation of health and fitness. The program begins in February in 15 elementary schools throughout Eau Claire County. Ashlyn Yates is an energetic 7th grader who has accomplished numerous 5K races and the EC Marathon relay. She plans to run a half marathon before she graduates from high school. Kim Gillett is the Council Director for GOTR of Eau Claire County. She wants all girls to reach their limitless potential! Program sign up will be in area school in January or online at http://www.gotreauclaire.org!

Congrats to all of the Girls on the Run and the volunteers! We’re proud of you! Good luck this year! January 2015

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Get In The Game! Feeling Empowered

By: Rachel Funk Johnson

ow many times in a day do you feel empowered? Really, truly empowered? This word has taken on so many meanings within our society. We see people rising up to their highest talents, the underdog taking their rightful place on the summit of the mountain. Every time I think of these stories, I immediately go back to the movie and legend of “Rudy.” If you haven’t heard the tale, it’s about a boy with a dream to play football at Norte Dame. Daniel “Rudy” Ruettiger, had dyslexia and was considered “football small.” At 5’6 and 185 pounds he was simply not Fighting Irish material. So, how is it that this boy, who didn’t even study at Norte Dame until six years after high school graduation, was to become one of only two players in Notre Dame History to be carried off of the field by his teammates? Every day, Rudy was empowered by his dream! Empowerment by definition is the ability to “enable or permit.” When he showed up on the field as a part of the practice squad daily, he enabled his dream of getting playing time by working as hard as he could, digging deep and not giving up. All of this effort compounded and then his dream was realized in the last game of his senior year. He dressed with his collegiate squad to face Georgia Tech. Rudy was in the game for just three plays that permitted him to participate in a kickoff, an incomplete pass and then his moment of glory, the third play, where Rudy sacked the quarterback! For many of us the idea of playing college football is a vision gone by or never a hope that we held in our heart. This story is a great realization of growth and tenacity. How many times have we been in the 4th quarter of a dream and never realized it? There are just seconds on the clock and our big play is about to occur. In Rudy’s case, it was a little easier. He had a real clock; he knew his time in the game was limited. For many of us, dreams and goals do not have an exact timer. We throw in the towel seconds before the magic is about to unfold because we don’t think it has happened quickly enough. Empowerment in these 4th quarter moments can take on many forms. It can be as simple as calling a friend for support, somesome one who has been your raving fan along the entire journey. They can provide support and encouragencourag ing words to get your head back in the game. It could also be

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cranking up the radio to your favorite song that makes you feel invincible. There is a reason that stadiums play music; it has been proven to increase our endurance and energize us through engaging our “fight or flight” response known as the parasympathetic nervous system. If you think this doesn’t work, give it a try sometime. Put on the great 80’s rock song, “Eye of the Tiger” and try to not imagine yourself as strong, enabled, excited and ready to take on the world! One other technique, and I would say my personal favorite, is one that I learned directly from my mom. When it’s game time, go take time to just pull yourself up by the bootstraps, walk into the bathroom, step in front of the mirror, look directly into your eyes and smile! Melt doubt away with a big douse of HAPPEE! Individually, all of these methods are powerful, but if that goal seems unattainable, combine all three. In the bathroom, smiling in the mirror, on the phone with a friend, jamming to some motivational beats – you will be unshakeable! These techniques may sound silly or childlike to many. But how many times have you denied your inner child a hope, dream, or wish? Are you willing to continually take the road of the expected, conventional or even boring for your life by sacrificing your dreams? Or, are you ready to gather your fans, dance, smile, and cross the ultimate finish line of a goal realized?

You have the tools

within you.

You have the tools within you. You just have to trust and then get to work, day after day letting it all compound. Rudy practiced with his team for hundreds of hours only to realize his full potential in the matter of mere seconds. I’m sure if you asked him, it was well worth it and he would do it all over again. Trust yourself, work hard, hang on, and then realize. It is a simple formula that will persistently present itself in our lifetimes; it’s just up to us to stay in the game. Rachel Funk-Johnson is a motivational speaker and health coach who has a passion for lighting new sparks in people's lives. The owner of Happee School and co-owner of Excite! Wellness is traveling for speaking events and planning a motivational seminar on February 21st in Eau Claire. www.happeeschool.com

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How Can a Horse Empower You? Be the Woman You Are Meant to Be By: Jayne Nuutinen Wolff What do you say when a friend asks you, “How have you been doing?” Do you say “fine,” “busy,” or “hectic?” Yes, we all have full lives, but are they full of what we want? When was the last time you had fun without feeling guilty? If there were a fun way to recover your personal power via horses, would you try it? Historically, horses have been in a working relationship with humans that has evolved into a healing partnership. For those of us who love animals, we know there is a special bond between us. Animals, especially horses, have to be sensitive to their environment in order to survive. As a person enters the horse’s field of awareness, the horse will instinctively respond. Like the horse, we can choose to trust our instincts. Having awareness allows us to live in the present moment. That gives us more choices, which equals empowerment. Sometimes you need someone to listen to you so you can figure things out, but you don’t want to talk to your family or friends. This happened with a client who was going through a transition in her life. Her family told her not to switch careers and her friends told her she was crazy for leaving a job without having another one lined up. So when we talked, she said it was nice to have a third party listener who was able to ask questions that helped her sort it out in her mind. She figured out what was really right for her and created some action steps to accomplish her goal instead of feeling stuck. She could tell the horses had affirmed her decision by observing them during our dialogue. During a session, five essentials are integrated before working with the horse to embrace all aspects of yourself. All activities are done working from the ground, not the saddle. No prior horse handling or riding skills are required. To prepare for the best experience

with the horse, we start by doing some breathing and a guided visualization. One individual realized her breathing pattern at work was shallow and was causing her additional stress. Most women leave a session feeling peaceful, balanced, and inspired to move to the next highest level of themselves. Equine Facilitated Coaching is a newer profession that offers a chance to team up with horses and a life coach for personal growth. You gain a deeper understanding of the horses’ language by observing how they communicate with each other. Once you can communicate, you can form a partnership. Being in partnership with a 1,000 pound animal is where the magic happens. This is a somatic experience that touches the core of who you are and empowers you to be the person you were meant to be. The skills you learn when working with the horses can also be used in our daily lives. Breathing more fully reduces stress and increases oxygen to the body. Awareness and trusting your instincts become valuable tools for making choices in all areas of your life. Partnering with a horse and coach can inspire you to be at peace with who you really are. It’s a unique opportunity to experience life coaching with the help of horses as a way to empower you. Here’s to the you who has been longing to show up in the world! Make it an awesome year!

From the Horse’s Mouth and More By: Sally Lewis

My low back tension had an emotional base, Career transition is what I needed to face. The horses responded to what I was feeling, Whatever is “back” there was beyond my dealing. I’d carried those burdens long enough, Released them to God who handles this “stuff.” Empowerment ebbs and flows, Worldly battles deliver tough blows. Horses breathe, graze and are aware, Unconditional love and support can be found there. Our lives are a process and friends help along the way, Some of my best friends happen to eat hay.

Jayne Nuutinen Wolff is the owner of Equine Inspired Wellness, LLC near Lake Wissota, where she provides therapeutic massage and other bodywork, flower essence therapy, life coaching and equine facilitated coaching. Her mission is to inspire you to find the peace to embrace who you are meant to be.

www.equineinspiredwellness.com

January 2015

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Ahhh... a place just for moms. Now only if it came with a magic wand and some chocolate. We do hope to help make your life easier with help from other moms in the area who contribute!

You’re Not Just... More than a Pretty Face By: Sarah Stokes You’re so cute! Those jammies are so cute on you! Can I get a hug from the sweetest girl ever? Come here cutie pie. Bud, you look so handsome. Your hair is so cute like that! Gotta brush your teeth to have a handsome smile! I catch myself saying “cutesy” stuff all the time to my kids! You’re probably saying, “what’s wrong with that?” Absolutely nothing! We want to be loving with our kids and those terms of endearment are part of that. I would have never thought to even write about this subject had it not been for my friend Mary. (Hi, Mary, I’m using us as an example) When another friend of ours had a baby girl, we both found ourselves saying how beautiful she was and how cute she was in her little clothes, etc. One day Mary blurted out, “and SMART!” Like cute was a cuss word. She and I launched into a converstation about how important it was for girls (and boys) to know they aren’t just supposed to be cute. That their faces and bodies do not deﬁne them. It stuck. I have added “and SMART” to the cute comment nearly every instance since then. I even did it at Halloween when I was saying “look at the pretty princess!” I quickly added... “I bet you are a super smart princess!” Silly, I know. Fast forward several years and I became a mom. January 2015

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I had a little boy ﬁrst and of course I think he’s adorable and a genius, so he hears how cute and smart he is all the time. 20 months after that my world seemed to get more complicated because I had a baby girl. That conversation with Mary echoes in my brain every time I tell my daughter how sweet and cute she is. I catch myself adding all kinds of other terms we use as a society to measure a person: smart, funny, loving, creative and giving... I rattle on and on, hoping not to be the reason she would end up looking in the mirror when she turns 15 and not liking what she sees. It seems as though our little boy has more than enough conﬁdence (gets that from his dad - ha ha). But I’m careful not to employ a double standard there either. Is this tendency to overcompensate on adjectives over dramatic? Yup. Far fetched? Maybe. Is it normal for a mom to wonder if she’s doing the right thing with her babies? You bet. The purpose of this article is to touch on the issue of empowering our kids. That while they are amazingly cute, we can remember to tell them the other stuff that makes them wonderful too. Pssst... I think you’re pretty and smart, too. (smiling) Sarah Stokes is a married mother of a little boy, Kanyon (3) and daughter Kaydence (2). The former news anchor, now magazine and Stokes+HERZOG owner, and her husband Chris Herzog made western Wisconsin their home in 2005.

All of Sarah’s “blogs” can be found at: www.queenofthecastlemagazine.com

“Can I have that toy when you’re done?”

What does it mean to be a peacemaker?

“Did you know that hurt my feelings? Please stop!”

Empowering Kids with Word Choice

“It makes me happy when you share with me!”

By: Jeanne Cooper Empowering children with words and actions that demonstrate how they can be “peacemakers” in this world is a necessary skill. Children love to work things out with their friends. They love to be “at peace” as they are playing, designing, creating, enjoying each other, and celebrating life. When children are in moments of struggle involving feelings, sharing, playing, and creating, sometimes they have the words to “pass on the peace” with each other. Sometimes they need adults in their lives to give them good words to use, like:

“You may have this toy when I’m done!” “Please use peacemaker words!”

When children can use good words and actions, they reinforce peacemaking skills in their friends, too. Calling a child a peacemaker is also an important gift. They want to be peacemakers, and naming them as peacemakers makes them step up to the process. Singing songs with the word peace, learning the peace sign in sign language, saying rhymes with peace words, and talking often about peace in small group, encourages a child to do their best. Watch children’s shoulders rise when you call them peacemakers… it’s a thing to celebrate!! Then, shake hands and say “peace to you”!

Peace everyone!

“We are all peacemakers at our school, so it’s important to share!”

Jeanne has been the preschool director/teacher at Noah’s Ark Preschool at Trinity Lutheran Church in Eau Claire for 32 years. Jeanne’s ﬁrst class included her own son, Jon, and a current class includes her granddaughter, Ruby. noahsark@trinity-ec.org

NOW SEEING PATIENTS IN MENOMONIE ON WEDNESDAYS Pediatric Dentist Dr. Rena Christman, DMD, MPH Dr. Christman will be sharing office space with Kristo Orthodontics To schedule an appointment, call us at:

(715) 726-1060

3120 Schneider Ave. S.E., Suite 9, Menomonie, WI 54751 January 2015

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It Takes the Cake! Cake Ordering Tips

By: Jessica and Duane Pocernich

Plan Ahead:

Place your order as soon as you can. Depending on the season and how many orders we have we prefer at least a week’s notice. This gives both parties time to pass ideas back and forth and make sure you are getting exactly what you want.

Share Your Vision:

Always share your thoughts about what you are expecting. If you don’t want a particular color, say so. If you have a budget, please share that so we can plan for a design that will suit you.

The Design:

The internet is chock-full of great cake/cupcake/decorating ideas. Look around and don’t hesitate to pull ideas from several different places to get what you want. In the least, bring your bakery a theme, and they should be able to help you with design ideas.

Your Budget:

Pricing may be based on the cake as a whole or by the serving. Ask up front. Decorating will also affect the price. The best advice is to bring your bakery your budget and the most you want to spend on your order. The bakery should help you decide what you can get for the price you can pay. Remember: A more elaborate design will be more costly than a simple swirl or scrollwork design with writing. Custom cakes are very labor intensive.

Know Your Guests:

If you are planning a children’s birthday party, pick a cake flavor that is kid-friendly (ie. chocolate, vanilla). You can always add some cupcakes with flavors catered more towards adults.

Delivery or Pick Up:

If you are pressed for time, delivery is usually an option at most individual bakeries for an additional charge. Delivery is usually not an option from grocery stores or fast-food chains

January 2015

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Cutting Your Cake:

Getting the right number of servings is important when ordering a cake. If you need an example on how to cut your cake to get the correct number of servings, your baker should be able to provide you with that information. Or, if you have the internet, it’s only a Google search away!

Refrigerated or Room Temp:

Buttercream and fondant taste best when at room temperature. If the cake is too cold it may taste dry and the buttercream will be hard. It is best to leave the cake in a temperature controlled room.

Leftovers:

If you are lucky enough to have leftovers, store them in an airtight container or wrap it well with plastic wrap or tinfoil. There is debate on whether cake should be stored in the fridge or at room temperature. We have found that either is fine if you are going to eat the leftovers in the next couple of days. Being at room temp is said to keep the cake more moist, and it won’t spoil for days due to the sugar in the cake and frosting. You can also freeze slices for a couple of weeks if wrapped airtight.

Dessert First is your gourmet dessert shop in the Chippewa Valley. All of our desserts are of our own secret and delicious homemade recipe, and made with top-shelf ingredients. We offer cakes, cupcakes, mini cheesecakes and cookies along with other seasonal goodies. www.getdessertﬁrst.com

January 2015

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Throwing a “themed” birthday party on a budget Tips and Tricks By: Megan Brooks Most people cringe just thinking about the cost of a themed party. From decorations, to the cake, favors and entertainment, it can all seem quite overwhelming. Here are a few of my tricks that I use when throwing my boys themed birthday parties.

the party and what I could afford to buy or make myself. I ended up making a majority of the decorations, which looked store bought.

Give your kids a few options for themes after you’ve already browsed around to see what’s available in local stores. Buying online can get pricey and shopping local can save you money and helps our communities. Start early. I start making my list a couple months in advance so that I know what I will need to keep my eye out for and what I will need to make myself. The longer you have, the less expensive it will seem when you can spread your money out over the course of 2-3 months. Have a plan. Don’t go out and buy everything and anything to do with that theme. Make sure you know what each thing will be used for and decide if it’s some something you can make yourself or have to buy.

January 2015

Use coupons. Shop for deals and compare prices from store to store. You would be surprised at how prices vary, even on something like a piñata. I also check store coupons and watch ads for when items go sale and you can use coupons and/or store dis discounts (i.e. Target Cart Cartwheel app) for even more savings. DIY. Start making things yourself in advance. For this particular theme, I browsed Pinterest to find what I did and didn’t want at

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Here are a few examples of DIY party décor: I bought the mini water bottles and then went online to find free printables for pirate bottle labels. It only cost me $2 for 24 bottles and paper and ink for the labels. I also used an old board from our garage and wrote “Walk the Plank” on it with a big sharpie and then asked a local business if I could have two cinder blocks. I put it all on a blue tarp to make it look like water, and then tied it on with some rope that I had laying around. I also made a sign to go with it on a

piece of tag board. I printed out all the labels from a free printable sight that I found browsing the Internet, cut them out how I wanted and labeled

the food pirate themed. You can also save money by making the cupcakes/cake yourself and buying off-brand food items. Asking grandparents to bake a dish for the party helps too. My grandparents love to help out and always make yummy side dishes. Some other items for the party I found laying around my house. I used paper towel rolls (cut in half) to make sails for decorations on the table and food. I put a piece of scrapbooking paper over them and wrote on them with marker. Also, my husband used to ride horses and we had a huge saddle chest in our basement that we used as a treasure chest at the party. The chest was filled with swords ($1 each), hats ($2 each), pirate necklaces, earrings, mustaches, compasses and eye patches, which all came as sets at the dollar store (which I bought in bulk over a month before the party). This was huge savings as I was able to get 5 items for $1. These were all part of the party favors for each kid that attended the party, just a little thank you for spending the day with us, bringing a gift, and celebrating my son’s birthday.

The bottom line is you want your child to have a fun and

memorable party!

When I did buy online, I browsed a few different sites to compare prices. Then when I found the cheapest items, I browsed for promo codes to get additional savings and free shipping. Sometimes it doesn’t hurt to call a company and ask how you can get free shipping – it never hurts to ask and I’m always thankful I did. The bottom line is you want your child to have a fun and memorable party, but you don’t have to break the bank to do so. Explore your options and give yourself enough time to plan so you don’t end up buying last minute, top price items.

Happy Planning!

Megan Brooks is the owner of [m] brooks photography. With the ﬂexibility of on location photo shoots, she also has a studio in downtown Eau Claire. You can check out her Facebook page or www.mbrooksphoto.com

January 2015

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Best Birthday Party Tips from Parents: We asked our Facebook fans to share their success stories! Dawn Nesvacil: Invite an even amount kiddos, so that nobody feels left out. Pat Cullison: Kids love anything they can help with. Great memories! Paula Anderson: Make "finger" foods. Makes it fun and kids tend to want to use their fingers. Jenel Berkowitch: Scale back and keep it simple with decorations and snacks so you can enjoy your children! Melissa Miller: I always change up the party every year. We do something different. I have never had any of my child's birthday party's at my house. We have rented a hall, used a banquet room, bowling alley etc. I like not having the mess to clean up at my house.

Brought to you by:

Denise Bender

Ind. Tastefully Simple Team Manager dbenwild@charter.net www.tastefullysimple.com/web/dbender 715-835-8447 715-577-4054

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January 2015

Have your child’s Birthday Party at the Children’s Museum of Eau Claire ! es Them ting de: i c x E Inclu

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January 2015

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Parties for the Grown Ups!

We asked our Facebook fans to share their most fun grown up birthday moments:

I used to go to a lot of concerts, so one year for my birthday I went on a 4 day concert road trip to see my two favorite artists!

Campfire & s’mores with my kids... my birthday is in October

– Kristen Fox

My 21st spent in Las Vegas with my mom. It was my first visit to Las Vegas. Hours of fun playing the penny slots!

– Nancy Everitt

– Tiffany Taylor

I have a friend who performs random acts of kindness, 1 for each year, on her birthday. The first year she did them all herself, now she petitions friends and family to join her in her random acts of kindness and post their act/experience on her wall on her birthday until she reaches an act of kindness for each year she is old. Sounds like SO MUCH happiness for one birthday! I have a bday coming up... maybe I’ll have to try out something similar! – Melissa Stangl DC January 2015

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Pub crawl though my neighborhood. Same route and we wore costumes each year with a different theme.

– Robyn Viloria Wiens

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January 2015

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Empowering My Daughters

company also closed. I took on a number of short assignments as a temp. Through all the employment opportunities, I finally realized that I was not happy working in the corporate world. I realized I was a service-oriented person. Now, I help those with disabilities and health issues.

By: Coleen Hengst

Through these years of trying to find the right job, my girls were growing up, going to school, helping take care of the house, and each other. And that they did. The girls protected each other, and still do. The three younger ones are especially protective of their oldest sister. Their bond is like no other. If the oldest was being picked on at school, my next oldest was right there to protect her. My oldest loves to play jokes on her sisters and they have a hard time topping her. I tried to never treat my oldest daughter with disabilities any differently than my other three daughters. Taking my lead, the youngest kept her to the same standard. Rarely did her disability keep her out of trouble when she was in the wrong.

have a 33-year-old special needs daughter, and I am now sitting in a hotel with her and nearly 30 Eau Claire Adult Special Olympics athletes and fellow coaches around me, waiting for the athletes to settle down and get some sleep … they are so excited about their competitions in the morning! They are competing in their Special Olympics Fall Sports Tournament. It’s a paramount achievement in their lives. What great adults! They live each day as it comes and relish the joys it brings, no matter how small. We all should be like that!

What Determination Can Offer the Next Generation

I was asked to write this article about empowerment. I don’t believe empowerment necessarily comes from one life event. It comes over time from a series of life events. My daughter and these athletes taught me that.

In terms of school, I quickly learned had to step up and speak out to keep her in what mainstream classes she could handle along with her special education classes. For example, and it may not seem like such a big thing (the schools wanted to just teach her to read digital clocks), but I insisted that she It hasn’t always been easy. In fact... also learn to read the hands of a regular clock. It took years, but when she was 17, it clicked… she When my special needs daughter, came home all excited and said, “Mom! my eldest, was born in 1981, she was They live each day as it comes Look at the clock! It’s 4:35!” And it a healthy baby… we thought. Ten was! She told me the time every hour. and relish the joys it brings, days later, we were in the emergency It was the biggest accomplishment in room, then right into emergency heart her life at that time. And I was so very surgery. She had a major congenital proud of her that I cried. She graduated heart defect. After a couple of years, at age 21 and was hired on at a local we realized that she was not like those in her age group. She grocery store chain as a bagger. After a few years, she wanted was diagnosed as being cognitively disabled, being several more… she wanted to be a cashier. It took time to convince years behind in learning and processing things around her. My management, but with the help of her fellow workers who husband never accepted her for who she was. The events that believed in her, a job coach, and my support, she became a ensued drove me to move the girls from Indiana to Chippewa cashier! What an accomplishment, and boy, did she surprise Falls in 1990. management! After a lifetime of telling her “you can do it,” she did do it! At age 30, she felt confident enough to move to Over the years, she’s had several more heart surgeries, and her own apartment. Talk about empty nest syndrome! My three while she’s doing fine health-wise, she deals with her disabiliyoungest had already moved out to create their own families ties every day. and carve out their niche in the world.

no matter how small.

After 13 years of marriage, I became a single mom of four young girls and found myself alone in a new state. Our loving Wisconsin family took us in until I could get us situated into our own place. I went from a high-paying job with 100% company-paid benefits to a just above minimum pay job at my sister and brother-in-law’s bookstore. I did it to be able to spend more time with my girls. It was a struggle, but I managed to create memories for them through the years that they still talk about today in their mid-twenties and thirties. Was I perfect? Absolutely not! But I just kept on, one foot in front of the other, one day at a time. When the bookstore had to close, I was a temporary employee, eventually garnering a job where I started as a receptionist and ended up as an executive assistant/ office manager of a large call center for nine years. That job ended and I worked in the office for a temporary agency. That

January 2015

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A big part of my daughter’s confidence (and mine) was built over the years by becoming involved in Special Olympics. We became involved in elementary school, and she continues to flourish as an athlete, as part of the Eau Claire Adults program. I have been awed by these very special kids and adult. My daughter was selected as a member of the Team Wisconsin Softball Team and went to the International Special Olympics competitions in 1999 in Raleigh-Durham, North Carolina. Seeing a need, I became a coach for one sport, eventually becoming a year-round coach… volleyball, team basketball, softball, and bocce. I don’t coach a team my daughter is on, as she needs to experience the leadership of others. I became a member of the agency management team, managing the athletes’ medical records. Now, I have been asked to be co-head coach.

From sitting on the sidelines, to being in the forefront of everything and looked upon as a leader by everyone... athletes, coaches, other managers, it took years to become confident

enough in myself to believe that I could handle the responsibilities. Is there pay with these responsibilities? No … all volunteer. The reward is to see these wonderful athletes with their different challenges learn and grow and become confident in their abilities, and most of all, have fun whether they win or lose, and they apply it to their lives. We should all learn this! They’ve shown me how to.

It feels like now is the right time in my life to get involved in a more prominent role because the girls are so independent. I hear from them all almost daily, talking about their children, their struggles, and their accomplishments. I am so proud of all four girls. My oldest has been in her own apartment for two years now, and I couldn’t be more proud that she has maintained her job and is living on her own and helping with her youngest sister and niece. I felt sad when each of my girls moved out, but I think more so with my oldest. I raised her to be independent and not see herself as different or disabled. And it worked… it actually WORKED! When she competes in Special Olympics, she pours her heart and soul into doing her best, just like at her job. She inspires me. How do I think it reflects on me as a mom, coach, and person? Hopefully, that I’m a good mom, coach, and person I’ve always strived to be.

Empowerment is what you make it to be. Experience volunteering. It helps. It helped me.

Empowerment is what you make it to be.

Coleen Hengst is a long-time Special Olympics volunteer, coach and mom to a daughter with cognitive disabilities. Those who work closely with her say her positive attitude and “all in” approach to daily life is remarkable and inspiring. www.SpecialOlympicsWisconsin.org

A big shout out to all the athletes and volunteers with Special Olympics! We’re proud of you! The Eau Claire Indoor Sports Center Presents:

FAMILY FEST Saturday, January 17th 11:00am - 3:00pm Admission: $5.00 (Kid’s 2 & Under FREE)

715-552-1200 3456 Craig Rd. Eau Claire www.ecsportscenter.com

Any time you see a “Queen Cares” logo, it means we’re helping that charity get the word out! See page 62 for a listing of many of the events we sponsored in 2014! Thanks to the readers who donated $900 to former foster children who have made it to college! The organizer was blown away by your kindness! January 2015

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It’s not what you see but how you see it! Tips for Parents with Teens By: Tanya Alexander As parents we are always in continual improvement to assist our children with benchmarks in their lives; learning to walk, talk and read, arranging playdates, accommodating school schedules, making and retaining friendships, sporting events, driving lessons, establishing the first job, and exploring college options. The list goes on and never stops. Parents focus on helping their children achieve with the hope of sustaining a long-term successful life, while children are focused on the here and now. The future is real to parents; the present is real to children. So what does this look like? Here is a great example of two completely different perspectives on just one subject. Suppose I was holding up a notebook in front of a parent and child. On one side it has plain cardboard backing and on the front has a picture of the forest with a road tapering off in the distance. I could ask them what I was holding and both would most likely say, “A notebook.” Now if I were to ask both to describe what they were seeing, they would have completely different descriptions of the notebook. Would either of them be wrong? Or can we agree they have different perspectives on the notebook, while still describing the notebook. In my experience of conflict resolution, the key is to help both sides agree on a foundation in which they can both move forward with on a subject. Much like the notebook example, the inability of setting aside the different perspectives only fuels the fire of conflict. Unless they can see the possibility of another side, neither will back down from their position or perspective. If one has to be right, then by default it makes the other wrong. This could be significant, and at what cost? When parents focus on creating a foundation for children to attain that successful life they often will place rules, boundaries or guidelines to abide by. Set clear, firm, simple, and non-negotiable boundaries. An example of four basic boundaries or rules: 1. No illegal activities on or in parent’s property. 2. Respect and courtesy for all who live in the home. 3. Contribute to the upkeep of the home as requested. 4. Keep parents informed on where you are. January 2015 queenofthecastlemagazine.com 44 44 queenofthecastlemagazine.com January 2015

Setting firm boundaries can liberate parents from micro-managing and allows children to take ownership of their choices. Children focus on the here and now. Often, they will approach parents with a burning desire to try new things, only to be turn downed with a flat, “No.” Children can be relentless; however, over time their flame dies out and so does their self-esteem or self-worth. Why do I say this? Parents may say, “No,” but children hear that as, they are not good enough, talented enough or trusted enough. The parents’ mindset could very well be calculations of time and money needed to fulfill a child’s request. While the child may miss the opportunity of learning by trial and error, the parents miss out on seeing how very capable and resourceful a child can be with passion behind their efforts. Yes, parents can counter all the calculated risks that might lie ahead for the child in their undertakings, but really do they know? Let me ask this question. Did you really know what you were saying yes to when your partner proposed marriage? Did you know what you were saying yes to when you decided to have children? I’m going to assume you really didn’t and along the way you leaned on your parents for their advice to learn from them. Your children are no different. Communicate frequently that they are unique and their own person. Talk with them about their passions and life dreams with a whole new freedom. Find out what their interests and insecurities are and support them in honoring themselves; caring for themselves, taking risks, and expressing their vulnerabilities with empowerment. Empower teens through confidence building, team building and supporting them to step into leadership opportunities. An option would be to send them to camp! Empower teens and they will impact the world around them. Parenting is a continual process, without an owner’s manual. Children are not born with embedded knowledge. We get to help them along the way in their journey. My favorite tip I leave you with: remind yourself that you don’t have to; you get to empower your children.

Tanya Alexander is a parent of nine, the founder of Empowering 4 Impact, which hosts Tomorrow’s Leaders Camp, and a life coach of eight years in Rice Lake. She feels like she was born to help others overcome burdens by shedding light on new perspectives. www.empowering4impact.com

Noah’s Ark Preschool Trinity Lutheran Church

1314 E Lexington Blvd, Eau Claire noahsark@trinity-ec.org • www.trinity-ec.org

It’s time to enroll for 2015-2016! For registration call 715-832-6601 Programs Available 3-4 year olds: T-Th AM 9:00-11:30 AM T-Th PM 12:45-3:15 PM

4-5 year olds: M-W-F AM 9:00-11:30 AM M-W-F PM 12:45-3:15 PM 201 OPEN5-2016 HOUS Sunda y

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45 queenofthecastlemagazine.com

January 2015

“Work” it three ways!

We took one $10 clearance dress and made three office outfits!

1. 1. 2. 3.

Keep the rest of your outfit neutral to avoid having competing pieces

Throw a button-up under a sleeveless dress for a new twist and to keep things looking professional! Comfort can be cute! Add a belt to give an otherwiselimp-sweater some structure. And who said you couldn’t pass a dress for a skirt!

46 queenofthecastlemagazine.com

January 2015

Looking ahead: Mark your calendars for the 2015 Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Business Conference April 30 in Eau Claire! Embrace a New Career in the Travel Industry!

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A Start-Up Story

Crafty Are We

Craft Consignment Store

119 6th Ave. W, Menomonie, WI Owner: Linda Fremouw Why did you decide to start your business? I love crafts but they are seasonal. It’s hard to find handmade items. Menomonie is full of talented people who want to sell their items in a cozy store. What excites you the most about being your own boss? Creativity and having the time to teach crafts. What’s your best advice? Your dream is yours; don’t let anyone steal or alter it. Trust yourself and your family. Turn your dream into an adventure!

This story brought to you by:

Gifts, Apparel and Accessories 715.289.4600 339 N. Main St. Cadott, WI sparrowsbythecreek.com

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Self evaluate to self empower By: Janelle J. Thompson If you were to ask someone to describe me one of the adjectives would be: strong. I have been asked how I developed my personal strength to become the woman I am today. I think the best answer I have is— through trial and error, as are most lessons in life. Some of my strength may just be my personality; being the youngest I had to fight for attention in the family so I developed it along the way. However, even when you are strong you need to learn the balance of that strength - this is the trial and error part there were times I reacted to a situation too strongly and forcefully and then there were other times I was too timid and weak. I believe an important way to develop your inner strength is thru self-evaluation. Now I don’t mean grab a hammer and beat yourself up over your mistakes! I mean truly look at how you handled a situation and be honest with yourself on how you did. Ask yourself where you could improve. Would you like someone to treat you the way you treated them? Were you as kind as you could have been? What would/could you do differently?, etc. Take your answers to heart; only you know the real truth of your intent and can use that to adjust your approaches in life. Through your life you will hear others’ observations about you and how they feel you handled situations. It is important to hear their words, but learn to decipher what is true and what is not. It is also important to ask yourself what you are doing or saying that created this impression. This way you can create the change in yourself to prevent giving off the false impression you had given.

I have come to understand in life that you can only become different if you want to change and grow to become a better you. Being honest with yourself is the way to accomplish change. I cannot stress enough to love yourself through your growth. As women I think it is our tendency (at least it has been mine) to put unrealistic expectations of perfection on ourselves. We really don’t like to make mistakes. The only way I know to go through life and not make any mistakes is to either do nothing so we can say it wasn’t our fault or go through life lying to ourselves when we could be evaluating so we can improve our results and thus ourselves. As I developed my abilities through my own self-evaluation I became more confident and was able to handle situations better than before. I became able to evaluate how to work and read the group I was interacting with so I brought the skills they needed from me to the table. I am also a huge advocate of reading my self to improvement. There are a plethora of books to read to help one develop skills on a professional level as well as an inner self-improvement. I have made it a practice throughout my life to carry reading material with me. This way I can always read if I find myself standing in a line, or waiting at the doctors office or waiting for the kids after practice. One last point I would like to share is I don’t believe in hiding behind your breasts! By this I mean don’t be intimidated if you are the only woman in a group. Rely on your skills that put you there and realize that as a society if we want to be viewed as a “person” doing good work then we need to view those around us in the same manner. We need to live the change that we want society to see as a whole on a daily and individual basis. Become whom you admire and be better than them. Become comfortable in your skin and willing to shed your old skin for new skin. Live blessed.

Janelle is a Wausau area business owner with Tim, her husband of 30 years. She has an education degree, has instructed for 20 years and has three handsome sons.

January 2015

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WARRIOR

WOMAN

Empowerment through Adventure By: David Tindell

January 2015

queenofthecastlemagazine.com

our and a half years of training came down to this. Susan Tindell and her husband, Dave, were alone on the mat in a martial arts dojo in southeast Michigan. They’d driven 12 hours the day before to get there, had trained all day and now were facing a panel of experts, headed by a ninth-degree black belt master instructor. “Begin,” he said. Two sweltering, tense hours later, she expected the worst. They had demonstrated five different weapons, each with its own series of strikes, blocks, and an intricate dance called a kata, in which the student simulates combat against multiple attackers. She knew she’d been far from perfect. She wasn’t worried about Dave, who had many more years of training than her and already had a black belt in taekwondo. Sensei Peter Carbone, the master, told them to turn around. Then he said, “Take off those belts.” As she untied her brown belt, she couldn’t hold back her tears. When Tindell began training, she says, “I started it maybe for the wrong reasons, because my husband and my son were both spending a lot of time at the dojo, and I was never seeing either one of them. Once our son graduated, again I was alone, my husband was at the dojo. I thought, this is kind of interesting; I can do this. So I just came one day and said, ‘Okay, I’d like to train, too.’” It all led to the test, “the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

except Antarctica and to exotic islands like St. Lucia, where she and her husband were married. A native of Chetek with a degree in accounting and a background in banking, she had moved back to her home area in 1984 and was looking for a job when she heard there was an opening at the travel agency. “I walked in and said to the owner, ‘I think you should hire me, I’d be really good at this.’ She hired me on the spot, and seven years later I bought the agency.”

“I love the people, and I

The best part of her job? “Making people happy, fulfilling their dreams, and the challenge of having them being tell me they want to go here or there and I go out and find them the best package that will fit their needs.” able to Like every other industry, travel has been impacted new things.” by technology, which Tindell has embraced. “The consumer has become more educated about travel, so that makes it more fun because we can talk together. I can make sense of all the information that’s out there and give them The journey to the test was more difficult than she thought it what they’re looking for.” would be. “The physical moves were not that hard. It was the mental training, pushing your body to do these things. There Tindell has walked the streets of great European cities, climbed were many the Acropolis in Athens, walked the Via Dolorosa of Jerusatimes I almost lem, gone scuba diving in the South Pacific and Caribbean and quit, because zip-lined through Central American jungles, but there are still it was very places she wants to visit. “I’d like to see the Galapogos Islands, frustrating, Russia and China, and the Amazon. Here in the States, I’d like but I’m not a to raft the Colorado River through the Grand Canyon.” She quitter, so I just prefers adventure travel, like a recent visit to Turkey when she stuck with it. rode a hot-air balloon over the stark landscape of Cappadocia. Now, I have to She’s a certified expert on Tahiti and serves clients from all say it’s actually over the country who want to go there. fun. I love the people, and I The new black belt sees martial arts in a different perspective love being able now. It’s not like the movies. “It’s more about inner strength to learn new and peace. That comes out in your demeanor and how you things.” carry yourself. You have more confidence.” Her friends think it’s cool. “They like to travel with me because they say, ‘Sue She hasn’t yet used her training in a real-life situation, but will take care of us.’” martial arts teaches people how to avoid those situations. “Part of the training is to make you aware of your surroundings, so you never put yourself in a position where you have to use the David Tindell is a martial artist and physical part of your training. Always be aware of what’s going author of the thriller novels The White Vixen and Quest for Honor. He and Sue have two on so you can stay safe.”

love

Her training has proven very valuable because her profession takes her all over the world. Owner and president of Travel Leaders of Rice Lake, Tindell has been to every continent

learn

grown children and live on a lake near Birchwood with their Yorkie and two cats.

www.davidtindellauthor.com

January 2015

queenofthecastlemagazine.com

Empowering You at Tax Time

Auto expenses Mileage allowance for 2014 is 56 cents per mile. The log should include:

By: Evlyn Carlile

• Mileage for business purposes – client meetings, bank, postage, purchases whatever. You need to record the miles and the business purpose of the trip.

• Beginning odometer reading at start of year and at end of year, for total miles

Steps to Simplify

‘Tis the season, tax season that is. It’s that time of year to turn that box of receipts into valuable information for your tax return. So here are some helpful tips to get you tax ready and hopefully stay that way through the new year. For income, you must report all money you received for a product or service during the year minus any refunds. This will include any 1099Misc forms you receive. Check those forms with amounts actually received and note any difference and the reason for that difference. NOTE : unless you only preform services for other businesses and not individuals and you never charge less than $600 in a year; your total income should be higher than the total from 1099Misc income. Cost of goods refers to your inventory and product purchases. The cost you need are beginning and ending inventory value at cost and total purchases during the year. So add up the value of all products you have on hand at the end of the year. For expenses, you need to gather receipts and sort them into similar type of expenses. Some of the categories of expenses for a sole proprietor include (Schedule C): • Advertising – all types, including sponsorships, websites, networking and display expenses (all but meals) • Bank charges and credit card merchant fees • Contract labor or 1099 vendor expense - usually sub contractors • Business insurance - Liability and worker’s comp, not health or life • Office supplies • Business supplies • Rent of space or equipment – these also require a 1099Misc for $600 or more spent in a year • Professional fees, accounting, tax prep, legal These require a 1099 if $600 or more • Sales tax (if included in total income/sales), personal property tax, payroll taxes – not income tax • Wages if you have employees Special Items and needs: Business Assets Any items you purchase that will last longer than a year and have a value of $250 or more, have to be recorded separately. These have to be handled differently on your tax return.

• Finally, if you have a primary place for your business outside your home, you need to record miles to and from your office separately. RULE - The first stop of the day and the last stop before going home are considered commute miles, that is going to and from work and are not a deductible as an expense. Track these miles as you will also need the total for your tax return. Meals The total spent on business meals. Your receipt should have an explanation of who you meet with and for what business purpose. Cell phone expense Review your minutes for the % of business use. This rule applies to any item that you use in your business plus use personally. Business travel expenses This includes lodging and transportation along with any other business expenses. Keep agendas or other information as proof of business reason for trip, this will also help outline the time frame needed for the travel. Keep this along with the receipts for business expenses that occurred during the trip. If you add time for personal exploration to the trip, exclude the meals and lodging for the extra time spent. A word about 1099Misc. If you use the services of another business or individual during the operation of your business, you will need to collect information from them on a W-9 form that you can find on line. At the end of the year you need to total all moneys paid to these businesses, if the total paid is $600 or more you will need to issue a 1099Misc form with the total paid in box 7 to them by January 31st. A copy of this form must also be mailed to the IRS and WI state. 1099Misc is also used to report rent of $600 or more paid to a business or individual for space or equipment. The total rent paid is reported in box 1. Confused? You are not alone. As you sort through your receipts and need clarification, you can always ask your tax preparer. If you need another source for questions, you can email me at carlilesos@yahoo.com. Evlyn Carlile is the owner of Simple Ofﬁce Solutions which is more than just a bookkeeping business. We partner with our clients, giving them the tools and knowledge needed to use their ﬁnancial information to make informed business decisions. www.eauclairebookeeping.com

January 2015

queenofthecastlemagazine.com

Owning it at the Office in Your 20’s Dressing to Empower By: Hannah Cole

ometimes when you’re 20-something, you feel like the office child. You ride this emotional line of being psyched that you have a great job, but you may feel confused as to why you’re not up to par with your coworkers on the road of life. And it’s not that your co-workers treat you like a child, but you feel it on your own. They have established families, or are getting married, or have babies on the way, etc. And the best topic you can boast about is how funny last night’s episode of Family Guy was. You can’t help that you’re young and you shouldn’t wish the years to come faster. But one way to nip the feeling that you’re still sucking your thumb and deter an inferiority complex is to alter the way you dress at work. Dress to empower yourself. Wear what makes you feel powerful and energizes you to take on the world. Dressing in this manner will further convince yourself you’re a grown up and give you a surge of confidence. You’ve come this far and looking put together says you take your position seriously - that you’re not the office baby.

The road to empowerment:

Update your wardrobe. Unfortunately, those college sweatpants, yoga pants and beer-referencing t-shirts just don’t make the cut anymore in day-to-day life. It’s time to update your closet, but you don’t have to break the bank to look professional! Look for key pieces like blazers, slacks and blouses at your nearest thrift store.

Find a tailor.

Once you’ve found those pieces, find a tailor. Thrift store items fit the body they previously donned, but you can make them work with just a hem or two.

Watch your boss.

Still need a confidence boost? Mini-me your boss. What do they wear? How do they carry themselves? Playing pretend long enough will eventually change your thinking from feeling like a small office mouse to the big cheese. Don’t be ashamed of your youth and be sure to let your mind, personality and style shine in your office! Hannah Cole is the Assistant Editor at Queen of the Castle Magazine and is a former local radio intern whose family roots in the area date back to the 1860’s. Although she has visited 16 countries, her grandparents' home on the north side of Eau Claire is still her favorite place. hannah@queenofthecastlemagazine.com

January 2015

queenofthecastlemagazine.com

We love our brides! We’re here for you every month with great stories from the experts and love stories too! Join our new Facebook Community for families planning weddings! Lookfor: “Tiaras and Tulle for Brides”

Need a wedding favor idea? We asked our Facebook fans for their

fav favors!

Home made blueberry jam. A small jar made by the bride and groom. The berries were picked by the groom where he worked up north. It is delicious.

My sorority sister gifted bow necklaces for “helping them tie the knot!” I LOVE it!

– Denise Bender

– Hannah Cole A Yahtzee game....they put a few score cards, dice and a pencil in little bags! – Stacey Matson

Homemade maple syrup made by the bride and groom and the groom’s father. They had stickers on the little maple leaf jars that said “And they lived “sappily”ever after! So cute! – Mandi Gronos Risler

One of my BFF’s wedding which I was honored to stand up in--Sondra Mero had little 4 oz olive oil jars with cork tops that SHE filled herself with rosemary and herbs. She also made wine glass charms--enough for ALL of her guests! She was married at a winery in Pepin so her favors matched the location and theme very well! – Christina Henke

A Book! The Sacred Search: What If It’s Not about Who You Marry, But Why? by Gary Thomas! Just a fabulous book. – Tanya Alexander

Something you can use, not just a bridal party gift. My best friend just got married and gave us all scentsy warmers. She is a consultant, but it was better than matchy jewelry we would never wear again. – Brittany Hattrem

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January 2015

Save the Date! Queen of the Castle Magazine is sponsoring a bridal fair at Family Farms Market in Eleva in April!

Mobile kitchen for restaurant quality meals Professional, experienced executive chef Well-trained, uniformed wait staff

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Also, join us on Facebook where we have a new spot just for brides! Look for “Tiaras and Tulle for Brides”

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January 2015

Blossoms and Brides An Orchard Tradition Renewed By: Michelle Rayburn

hen Becky Mullane married her husband Jim in 1993, they exchanged vows under an apple tree in New Mexico with the orchard in full blossom. She smiles as she recalls the day. “Oh, nothing compares to it. People just raved about it,” she says. “We hung ribbons in the apple trees and we used apple crates for people to sit on.” Becky’s dad and her husband-to-be created a dressing room for her in the orchard by stringing curtains in the apple trees. “My dress was hanging up in the apple tree, and I just reach up and slipped my dress over my head.” For Becky, apples have always played an important role in her life. She grew up visiting her grandparents in New Mexico every year at their dude ranch turned Dixon’s Apple Orchard—the same orchard where she and Jim exchanged their vows.

Getting Back to Her Roots By the time she was in high school, Becky’s grandpar-

ents, Fred and Faye Dixon had been growing apples at Dixon’s for more than 40 years. During Becky’s first semester of college, her beloved grandmother Faye passed away, and her granddad Fred was left to run the orchard without the love of his life by his side. Becky spent her spring break visiting the ranch, helping with the work and enjoying the company of her grandfather. “It tore my heart out to think of him alone there,” she says. She returned to school in Minneapolis after break, but Becky says, “I just couldn’t focus; I just felt like I had to be there. I knew it was what I had to do.” At 18 years old, she left college and moved to New Mexico to learn the business of growing apples. Working side-by-side, she learned from the wealth of wisdom her granddad accumulated over decades of seasons and harvests.

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January 2015

In 1992, Becky met Jim Mullane, and on April 24, 1993, Jim and Becky were the first couple to be married among the apple blossoms in the Champagne Orchard at Dixon’s. Becky and Jim worked along with Fred for several years, and then in 1996, Fred handed the ranch over to the Mullanes. As their family grew and children Luke, Cody, and Natalie arrived, the orchard became a place for the family to work together.

Branching into Adventure As the apple business grew, the Mullanes expanded

the ranch to be a place that became part of the tradition of other families as well. Along with harvest festivals, hayrides, chuckwagon events, a flourishing gift shop and apple shed, Dixon’s Apple Orchard became a breathtaking venue for brides to host a wedding. For the most part, life was blissful at Dixon’s Apple Orchard. Until 2011. On June 27, in the wee hours of the morning, the Los Conchas Wildfire swept through the orchard, destroying the Mullane’s home and many of their buildings, along with 300 of the apple trees. The family was determined to rebuild their dream and their beautiful venue. However, that wasn’t the end of their challenges. Two months after the fire, a devastating flood washed away most of their livelihood. Where some might lose hope, the Mullane family realized they didn’t have to let their dream die with the devastation. They invested that hope in the process of planting a new orchard in a new state. In October 2014, Becky and Jim purchased a beautiful parcel of land in Cadott, Wisconsin, bringing the Dixon name and tradition with them to the new site. With the spring thaw in May 2015, Becky and Jim will plant 2000 new apple trees that have been incubating at a nursery, waiting for the right time to bring their new orchard dream to fruition.

The Mullane Family

Among those new trees are a variety patented by Fred Dixon called the Champagne apple. When Fred discovered the wild apple tree in a canyon in New Mexico, he grafted clippings to host trees to populate the orchard. The Mullanes were able to save clippings after the fire and have them grafted to host trees to be transferred to Wisconsin.

Harvesting a New Future Although it will take time for those trees to grow to maturity and she has a long wait for the first harvest, Becky isn’t waiting to re-launch the business of making memorable weddings for couples. The site of the new Dixon’s Apple Orchard in Wisconsin is already a beautiful venue for a wedding. However, for Becky Mullane, a

wedding venue isn’t merely a location; it’s the creation of an experience for a bride. A warm and enjoyable place to ride in to the ceremony in a horse-drawn carriage. A place to exchange vows by a quaint waterfall or a serene pond. It’s a place for memories to be made and traditions to be born.

“I think they would be happy that we’re looking forward and trying not to look back.”

Becky speculates about what her grandparents might say if they could see her now. “I think they would be happy that we’re looking forward and trying not to look back.” She says that isn’t always easy some days, but she’s excited to make her own new beginning as she helps couples with their beginnings. Michelle Rayburn is the owner of the website www.TrashToTreasureDecorating.com and is the author of “The Repurposed and Upcycled Life.” She is a freelance writer, speaker, and artist who hoards yard sale treasures in New Auburn, Wis. www.michellerayburn.com

Do you have a special bridal story involving your family? That’s perfect for February! Share with us at: writer@queenofthecastlemagazine.com

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January 2015

The Guesting Game Tips from former brides for making tough cuts when making the guest list! If you are on the fence about some individuals and have a specific number cut off, put the names in a bowl and draw. If you find yourself double guessing after that then the picture becomes clearer on who is important. Remember there will be no shows. -Dana B. We had a smaller venue so we had to trim our guest list by using an “A” and “B” list of sorts. We wanted everyone, but for every person on the “A” list who couldn’t come, we could invite another person off our “B” wish list! It worked well for us! - Sarah H.

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When adding friends, the couples’ friends come before parents’ friends (I learned this!). Don’t be afraid to list only adults on invites (omitting “and family”) or not including “and guest” if your seating is limited. Need to make some final cuts? Who is it that has supported the couple as individuals with their time, love and prayers throughout their lives? Who will be there to support them ten years from now? Guest lists are hard when parents have been remarried and family has doubled. Consider inviting others to celebrate with you at the dance. Good luck! -Julie S. For distant friends and family, I would first ask yourself if you were invited to theirs. Next, would they be hurt if they weren’t invited? -Heather M.

Congratulations on your engagement!

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Welcome to our home and garden section! Every month you’ll ﬁnd helpful articles and great pictures to get you inspired! We want to give you real ideas for your special spaces and meals too!

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Coming Up: February: Home away from home... what is a Glamper? See pictures of a complete “glamper” and what contributor Glenda Stokes is up to with the “before” picture of the glamper she named “Lady and the Glamp”!

January 2015

queenofthecastlemagazine.com

The Gift of Time

Letting Go of the Cleaning Service Stigma By: Ashley Kosharek 5 a.m.: Alarm goes off 5:15 a.m.: Jump out of bed and head to gym. 6:30 a.m.: Race home, say goodbye to husband as he leaves for work. 6:35 a.m.: Let dog out, check emails, wake the kids. Battle wardrobe malfunctions, lost backpacks, etc. Get them ready for the day. Grab anything you can to eat. Leave any messes – there’s no time to clean up. 7:30 a.m.: Kids are off to school; you’re off to work. 8am-4 p.m.: Work 4:30 p.m.: Get home, start supper and try to clean up. 5 p.m.: Husband returns home with one child from soccer and the other from dance. 5:45 p.m.: Dinner 6:15 p.m.: Try to clean up after dinner, but end up helping with homework. 7:45 p.m.: Get kids ready for bed. 8 p.m.: Bedtime 8:30 p.m.: Take the shower you couldn’t take this morning. Read a little, check emails and browse Facebook. 9:45 p.m.: Check the time and see you don’t have the time (or energy) to clean up after the Level 5 hurricane that was your family today. 10 p.m.: Crawl into bed and try to stay awake for the news. Miss it again. 5 a.m.: Alarm goes off. Sound familiar? This is just one scenario in the life of today’s average woman and her family. Some of you might even think this is a pretty mild schedule. Days like this probably make you think, What I wouldn’t give for a few more hours in the day or What I wouldn’t give to clone myself! You’ve tried streamlining your routine to make things run more smoothly. You’ve tried getting more organized but still to no avail. You still feel like you’re chasing your tail. Arguing with your kids to do their chores and help out more. And starting an all out war with your husband about the last time he took the trash out or leaving dishes everywhere. The list goes on, the stress piles up; no one wins. You’ve thought about hiring a cleaning service but then get embarrassed, “I can’t let someone see my mess! How do I know whom I can trust? Are they going to show up when I need them? Can I afford it? What will my friends think? Will the kids still do their part? Will people think I’m lazy!?” Cleaning services are unlike any other good or service we buy. It’s very personal and each client must make sure they have the right company for their needs and schedules. There is also an internal struggle for each family - is a cleaning service is

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January 2015

necessary? Of course I say everyone could use our help! But honestly, com-pared to 50, 20, or even 10 years ago, Americans today work more and have less time for family. The last thing we want to be doing with our spare time is cleaning and missing out on that little time we have with our loved ones.

We’re no longer in the

1950’s

We’re no longer in the 1950’s where stay-at-home parents are commonplace and the children help out with chores, no questions asked. Now women work full-time jobs and more often are the breadwinners in the homes. There are 24 hours in a day. Eight are spent at work and seven (at best) are spent sleeping. One is spent traveling, three are spent cooking, cleaning and doing other chores. Take another two hours for showering and getting ready everyday and that leaves 3 hours for unwinding and spending time with family. Does that really seem like enough? Cleaning services often have a stigma of being something for the ‘rich’ and often seen as a luxury. However, I see the evergrowing needs for families who are getting consumed with the mess and clutter of their fast-paced world. I insist that cleaning service is a need-based service now more than ever. It definitely does not mean that someone has failed or is lazy by handing off these tasks to someone else to do them. I want to applaud people when they choose to do so. It means they value their time and their loved ones. They can actually make time for hobbies and family time. No more fighting with the kids to have them help out. No more fighting with your husband (or wife) to do their part. Yes, we get paid to clean, but at the end of the day it’s about paying for a service that will provide you so much more than that. It’s about less stress, a clean and healthy environment for family and having the extra time to do other things. I once wished I could sell time to people and essentially, we do sell time. We clean so clients can have that time back to do something else. And worst-case scenario it’s cheaper than marriage counseling!

Ashley Kosharek, owner of AMK Cleaning Services understands all too well the struggle of balancing it all. As a single mom balancing parent-hood, work as an aspiring entrepreneur, and personal growth; she’s skilled at streamlining cleaning and organizing in the home and business for her clients. AMKcleaningservices.com

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January 2015

Queen of the Castle Magazine LOVES to give backand we did a lot in 2014! “Horsepower for Veterans” Benefited: Trinity Equestrian Center

“Where in Eau Claire” scavenger hunt Benefited: The Family Resource Center

“Annual Mad Dash 5K Run and Family Walk” Benefited: Maddy Moments Fund

“Chip in for Hunger” Benefited: the Community Table

Teamwork Africa Benefits: children with vision impairments living in Africa

“Kylynn’s Hot Wheels Benefit” Helped purchase an accessible van

“Stroller Derby” Benefited: JLEC the Diaper Bank “The Color Dash” Benefited: The Eau Claire Children’s Theater “Cars for a Cause” Benefited: Joshua’s Camp “Surviving with Strength” Benefited: cancer survivors “Oz Run” Benefited: Irvine Park and Feed My People Food Bank “Freezing Out Human Trafficking with Fierce Freedom” Fights sex trafficking

“Moms Makeover” Gave a deserving mom a makeover, goodies Alter Ego’s world record attempt Benefited: Touched Twice United Women’s Business Conference “Fostering the Future Fund” Benefits: area foster kids “Mom’s Night Out” Benefited: Junior League of Eau Claire’s Diaper Bank “Donut Dash 5K Fun Run & 1 Mile Walk” Benefited: a clinic in Ethiopia “Friday Family Nights Pajamboree” Benefited: LSS Kids Kloset

“Hometown Hero Makeover” Benefited: a local veteran

“Empty Bowls” Benefited: Feed My People Food Bank

“Roses for Rover” Benefited: Eau Claire County Humane Association

Hope Gospel Mission

“Books in Bloom” Benefited: Fostering the Future Fund, Teamwork Africa

“Oasis Fashion Show” Benefited: National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc. Celebrating Caregivers Fall Family Festival “Glory Gals Retreat” Benefited: Eau Claire and Rice Lake pregnancy help centers “Mom Prom” Benefited: International Cesarean Awareness Network Gratitude Garden at The Center Mady Odegard Benefit

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January 2015

Kristina LeCloux www.my-initials.com/klecloux KristinaLeCloux@hotmail.com 920-265-7187 Thorp, WI