BOOKS A new memoir by Zibby Owens discusses love, loss, and literature. by elizabeth meigher

LIFE THROUGH THE LENS OF LITERATURE

I MET ZIBBY when we both attended The Brearley School growing up in New York City. She was a year above me (a year apart is the equivalent of an eon during grade school at your average Upper East Side day-school) and I remember her eyes sparkled, she had shiny straight hair, and she could crush a tennis ball. When I went off to boarding school and swiftly gained a few more than the Freshman 15 with the help of Snackwells and Concord Frozen Yogurt, my mom sent me Seventeen magazine. The neatly wrapped package was accompanied by a note “I love you —XX Mom” fas-

From above: Zibby Owens; Zibby’s findings upon a recent trip to Southampton & Sag Harbor Books, where Bookends will launch in early July of 2022. Opposite page: Bookends: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Literature.

Clockwise from top: Zibby smiling as she holds her two daughters; Zibby as a little girl in the arms of her father, Steve Schwarzman; Zibby’s three children (her older daughter is not pictured); Zibby’s mom, Ellen Katz.

tened to a jumbo paperclip that opened to Zibby’s article, “My

Weight, Myself.” I had been feeling pretty lousy and must admit that my Mom’s well-intentioned carepackage only added to the hurt. But when I read Zibby’s story—the pressure to eat rice cakes, and the loser who callously remarks “if you just lost some weight, you’d be beautiful”- I remember thinking “Wow, I can really relate to this girl. This is me!” Fast forward, Zibby would write a piece for Quest about “How New York City Doormen Impact Our Social Lives”. Any NYC-er who reads this magazine will likely agree that the doorman phenomenon is true (they play a major role in our personal lives- sometimes even our professional lives- heck, often our whole lives). On the topic of tenants and good-night kisses, a doorman named Bronco of 737 Park Avenue had a lot of Upper East Siders laughing. “We’re here for servitude… I could make a comment to my coworkers about it, but to tenants? Never. It all stays with the doormen. Unless it’s sensational or really funny—then we tell the super, too.” Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true.” Often, even identifying our true calling—pinpointing

“the dream”—takes more than a lifetime. Zibby Owens is a person who has mastered this path and found her purpose on earth: mother of four, award-winning podcast host, entrepreneur, publisher and author. She is a champion of authors...a writer herself... and a podcast host. Moreover, she is approachable, relatable, and supportive. We all know emotions are tricky—the good ones are great! The bad ones, well—they can lead you plummeting straight into what my sister and I have always referred to as, The Pit of Despair. Example: “Ugh, my one-year-old just vomited, the three-year-old covered the walls in red crayon, I had a passive-aggressive fight with Mom, I ate a whole pizza, Gigi is very sick, I am utterly exhausted, exercise is a distant memory, I am worried about the future... I have fallen into The Pit of Despair” (for all those familiar with The Princess Bride, you can relate to our proverbial pit). While born under a rainbow, Zibby repeatedly swam through the depths of sorrow only to rise again and again- seemingly stronger each time. She is living proof that when we get hurt, like warriors we grow stronger in those places where we were wounded. Zibby has managed to transform her experience into a gift that she shares with authors and readers alike via her podcasts and new book, Bookends.

Bookends, Zibby’s memoir, is a remarkably poignant story about family, relationships, love, life, and finding one’s true calling. Anyone who grew up in New York within the universe of Zibby’s childhood will immediately get a kick out of references to Arena, Chocolate Soup bags, and heading out to “the country” (before it became what is now known as The Hamptons). Nevertheless, you certainly don’t have to be from Manhattan or of Zibby’s generation to relate to this book. Her writing flows off the page and offers something for everyone. If you’ve experienced heartache, depression, relationship pain, weight issues, felt punched in the face by life and loss…come through it alive and kickin’—you will fly through each page of Bookends. Zibby’s inspiring account provides helpful insight and hope to everyone who reads it. If you’re like me and prefer to hold a hard copy and a pen, you’re going to make a note of every book Zibby references throughout her journey. ◆

Clockwise from top left: Zibby holding a copy of Fiona Davis’ Chelsea Girls at The Center for Fiction in Brooklyn; Zibby and her younger brother, Teddy Schwarzman, as children; Zibby with her grandmother, Carol Levitan, (“Gagy”), in 2019; Zibby with her best friend, Stacey Leigh Sanders, who she met on her first day at Yale. Stacey had just started a new job at Marsh McLennan in September of 2001, when she tragically died in the North Tower of the World Trade Center on Sept 11, 2001.