Khadija

Khadija

“I grew up in Pakistan, a society where anyone with a disability is seen as incapable. My whole life became about showing everybody that sure, maybe I’m different from a ‘normal’ person, but that doesn’t mean I can’t do what you can or be as good as you are. I’d never met anyone else who was visually impaired until I moved to New York. I used to try to hide my disability, but then I came here and for the first time in my life I could be me. Yes, I use a cane. I have a visual impairment, but that’s not all that I am.”

“When I first ‘met’ New York, it overwhelmed and terrified me, and I didn’t know how to keep up with the city. It always seemed to be in a rush. I thought I would lose my way in trying to figure it out. After spending a few months here, I began to find my own self. I began to understand how much the city had to offer. New York made me independent. Made me strong. And most of all, New York gave me something I thought I would never find. It gave me love.”

“I asked some of my friends who are visually impaired about their approach to dating. Some of them only want to find a person with a disability because they feel they will understand them better. Others think it doesn’t matter. I wanted to try both approaches as a social experiment. I jumped on an app and I decided to meet people who didn’t have a disability. Remember how I said I don’t like that people’s first impression of me is that I am blind? So I left that out in the app. I didn’t want that to be the reason somebody swiped left or right.”

“I’m self-aware enough to know that I might not be the person you had in mind. And I’ve had my own preferences as well, but for me, these preferences were never based on appearance. I want to hear someone’s story and I want to feel a level of respect and open-mindedness from them.”

“I’ve been married for a little over two years now. My husband is not blind. I’ll be honest, initially I had decided that I didn’t want to be with somebody who already had a child. But then I met my husband and now I have a lovely stepdaughter. It’s that openmindedness. You get to know the person, and you’re like, ‘Maybe this person is worth making an adjustment for.’”

“There is a certain way you have to dress in Pakistan. Certain things I really couldn’t wear outside. So when I moved here, I started looking up fashion videos on YouTube. A lot of them are descriptive enough for me to follow. Every time I go shopping, I try to remember the garment by the cut, size, and texture of the fabric. I’ll fold them a certain way or I’ll put them on a different kind of hanger at home so that I can tell the difference. Little tricks. Because first impressions are important, fashion is my way of expressing my creativity and personality. I also feel that fashion is a way to not let my white cane be my defining statement.”

“I got sucked into the rush of the city. I know exactly where to get off the train, which streets to cross. I follow the pace of the city. Every day, going to work during rush hour is an adventure. I’m surrounded by different people every time. I find it exciting.”

“Part of my job at Visions is business development where I have to make connections with different companies. It involves a lot of traveling, networking events and meetings with different companies. In order to get where I have to be on time, asking for help is definitely something I’ve had to learn to become comfortable with.”

“You immediately blend into this city. You’re out in the streets, you’re part of the crowd, you’re part of New York. You hear 50 languages every day. There’s no such thing as, ‘you don’t belong here.’”

Q&A

What neighborhood do you live in? I live in Jackson Heights, Queens.

Best thing about living there? Jackson Heights is the most diverse neighborhood in the most diverse borough in the most diverse city in the world! I love the variety of food options at convenient walking distances. Given my low vision, I enjoy that everyday conveniences are close by.

Favorite neighborhood? My neighborhood!

Favorite street to stroll? On Fifth Avenue along Central Park.

Why? I enjoy the contrast between the nature and urban living on the same street.

Favorite restaurant? There’s a restaurant on Coney Island Avenue in Brooklyn called Lahori Chilli. The authenticity of the food takes me back to the flavors of my home country of Pakistan.

Favorite bar? The Ginger Man, located in Midtown East, because of the delicious sour beers and its cozy vibe.

Hidden gem? The Long Island City boardwalk has breathtaking views of downtown Manhattan. I especially recommend going there during sunset.

How to be(come) a New Yorker? To become a New Yorker, one must pick up the pace, whether it be in living or walking. New Yorkers initially come off as rude, but we are simply a population open to expressing our opinions. The best part about NYC is that you become a part of the city and its people as soon as you step outside.

Your New York soundtrack? Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson.

“Some people say that New Yorkers are very rude. I have a different impression. If I walk into a grocery store, people are aware enough and educated enough. I tell them I can’t see and ask for their help. And people help. There are people helping me all the time. New York gives me the independence that I want, so I don’t look at New Yorkers as rude.”

5 THINGS THAT TELL A STORY ABOUT KHADIJA

GOLDEN BANGLES “These golden bangles belonged to my grandma. My mom gave me these to wear on my wedding day. I wear these on special occasions like family gatherings or with traditional outfits. I want to pass them down to my daughter one day.”

RING “This is my engagement ring. I didn’t want the traditional diamond ring, also green is my favorite color. It symbolizes our union.”

ENLARGEMENT TOOL “My parents purchased this for me when I was 15. This is how I survived high school and college. It allowed me to read books again when my vision started to worsen. There is a camera and you place what you want to read to display on the screen.”

CARD “This very special to me. This is the first mother’s day card I got from my stepdaughter. I was so surprised. She made one for her mom and then she made this one for me.”

CANE “It wasn’t until I moved to New York that I started using a cane. My first thought was all the attention I would get, people seeing this girl with a cane on the street. It would be their first impression without knowing anything else about me. My instructor basically put it down for me, said I had two choices: either spend the rest of my life having to hold onto someone’s arm to get from point A to B, or do it myself. And that was really it.”