squires
and the
search for the spectacular,
self-sufficient
staple for
design snob quarterly kids by rachael bair
an 0ff-the-cuff comedy
for kids
about a clever quest for a simple office supply
by
rachael bair
limited edition printed may 2015 for
design snob quarterly kids under trademark of design snob quarterly, inc.
this booklet proudly saddle stitched in the u.s.a.
for my dad, who taught me how to use a staple gun & always let me run the power tools
squires, where are my staples?
Your what, sir?
You know, those things.
No, sir, I’m afraid I don’t know.
But of course
you do!
I... do?
Yes!
Aha. Mightn’t you describe for me, exactly, what it is you seek?
squires,
I simply want a set of staples fit for a
king.
gold
The first were made with
and encrusted with gems
xv, for
louis the
so something of royal proportions will do for me.
Hmm. Might you mean...
...one of these, sir?
figure 1.0
Electrical Cable Staple
Squires.
Indeed, that is not
what I mean.
i do see.
might you delight in one of these,
sir?
figure 2.0
Plastic Hot Welding Staple
Certainly not.
that is not a
superb specimen of steel
1937
that can be situated in my
swingline speed stapler!
{
frankly, squires, i am fairly shocked
shocked, i tell you
}
at your current display of ineptitude. you are usually so good about these little details.
if you cannot accomplish this simple task, i shall be forced to find myself -
Sir Gresham, is this what you require?
figure 3.0
The Simple Staple
Why, my goodness, you have found it!
at last! Now I can finally finish my official correspondence with Lady Grantham herself.
You are dismissed, Squires.
Oh, and one last thing, Squires: I'll take a glass of sherry with my staples.
A Bit of Stapling History for DSQ Kids attached at the clip Before staplers came along, we had tried just about everything, from sewing and gluing to clamping and skewering. Around 1200 C.E., though, an industrious group of medieval academics became the first to adhere pages using ribbon and wax, and while that practice has long since fallen by the wayside, they were also the first to bind them at the upper-left corner, as we do today. In the 18th century, French toolmakers constructed a handmade stapler fit for a king — King Louis the XV, to be exact. Legend has it that the ornate staples it used were forged from gold, encrusted with precious stones, and bore his Royal Court's insignia. Less fancy but more practical was the American “paper fastener,” patented in 1866 by the Novelty Manufacturing Company, a precursor to the modern stapler. Of course, one key difference was that it held only one “staple” at a time. Trouble was, the machine would clinch the metal into the paper “achieved by pressing down hard on a large plunger,” but it wouldn't fasten it. That had to be done by hand — a laborious process, to be sure. It wasn't until 1879 that a machine hit the market that both inserted and clinched a single preformed metal staple. It
was called McGill's Patent Single Stroke Staple Press, but since it required constant reloading, it didn't exactly spur the stapling revolution. the fastening and the furious That revolution would come in 1895, when the E.H. Hotchkiss Company of Norwalk, Connecticut, began selling their so-called No. 1 Paper Fastener. It used a long strip of wired-together staples, and thanks to its speedy ease-of-use, became so popular that it became simply known as “the Hotchkiss.” (To this day, in fact, the word for stapler in Japanese is “hochikisu,” though the company has long been out of business.) But the design still wasn't perfect: it required a heavy stroke on the machine's plunger to separate the staples from their strip and drive them into a stack of paper. So much so, in fact, that Hotchkiss-users often kept small mallets at the ready. The golden age of stapling was yet to come. There were lots of competing stapler technologies on the market from the mid19th century to as late as the 1940s, for one simple reason: no one had gotten it quite right. When stationery wholesaler Jack Linksy founded the Parrot Speed Fastener Corporation in the 1930s, few could've imagined that his humble company — later known as Swingline — would change the world of paper-fastening forever. But that's just what he did when he developed the 1937 Swingline Speed Stapler No. 3. According to Linsky's son-in-law Alan Seff, to load a stapling machine before the Swingline came along, “you practically needed a screwdriver and a hammer to put the staples in. He and his engineers devised a patented unit where you just opened the top of the machine, and you'd plunk the staples in.” Amazingly enough, the mechanics of the modern stapler have remained virtually
unchanged since Linksy perfected it in 1937.of wired-together staples, and thanks to its speedy ease-of-use, became so popular that it became simply known as “the Hotchkiss.” (To this day, in fact, the word for stapler in Japanese is “hochikisu,” though the company has long been out of business.) But the design still wasn't perfect: it required a heavy stroke on the machine's plunger to separate the staples from their strip and drive them into a stack of paper. So much so, in fact, that Hotchkissusers often kept small mallets at the ready. The golden age of stapling was yet to come. There were lots of competing stapler technologies on the market from the mid19th century to as late as the 1940s, for one simple reason: no one had gotten it quite right. When stationery wholesaler Jack Linksy founded the Parrot Speed Fastener Corporation in the 1930s, few could've imagined that his humble company — later known as Swingline — would change the world of paper-fastening forever. But that's just what he did when he developed the 1937 Swingline Speed Stapler No. 3. According to Linsky's son-in-law Alan Seff, to load a stapling machine before the Swingline came along, “you practically needed a screwdriver and a hammer to put the staples in. He and his engineers devised a patented unit where you just opened the top of the machine, and you'd plunk the staples in.” Amazingly enough, the mechanics of the modern stapler have remained virtually unchanged since Linksy perfected it in 1937.
This article was excerpted from 'In the Beginning: The Origins of Everything,' and can be accessed online at http://mentalfloss.com/article/22619/brief-history-staples.
DSQK
design snob quarterly kids