T H E
R A D L E Y
C O L L E G E
CHRONICLE Vol. XXVI No. 1
O
4 December 2015
THE PARIS ATTACKS
n the 13th November 2015, the Western world I also note that the phrase ‘Pray for Paris’ which reacted in an unprecedented way to a terror recently filled our media outlets has, concerningly, attack of proportions not seen Europe since the religious connotations inherent in the word ‘pray’. I 2004 Madrid train bombings. Since minor terror am not comfortable, therefore, that the implicit attacks like the Charlie Hebdo shootings in January of message in this phrase is that our response to the the same year, we have been holding our breath, atrocities in Paris should be a religious one, because it increasingly aware of the creates a subtext of holy war presence of ISIS, and “It is no longer acceptable to which is unhelpful. We do not increasingly aware of the want this turned into have religion as a taboo, a inevitability of another attack. ‘Christianity versus Islam’. And it is because we all knew Equally, we cannot deny the sensitive topic about which how inevitable another attack on religious aspect of the attacks, in we shouldn’t debate” the West was, that we all now order to successfully analyse mourn and pray for Paris: them. The attacks were entirely because we know it could have been us. Paris could religiously motivated. Suicide bombers were willing to have been London; it could have been Berlin; it could give their lives in the name of jihad. And it is jihad have been New York. that we want to disable. Many people have taken to social media to express their outrage at the absence of Western media coverage on the other tragedies that occurred in the same 48 hours as the Paris attacks. In Beirut, Lebanon, 43 people were killed by ISIS in suicide bombings, while a further 19 were killed in Baghdad. The indifference of Western media is certainly concerning. The BBC notified me about the death of 4 people in a small plane crash in East Devon, but failed to report the Beirut bombings. Facebook asked me to show my support to the people of Paris by changing my profile picture, but failed to ask my support for Baghdad or Lebanon. On one level, it is shameful that we are concerned so little about ISIS’ victims in other parts of the world. Conversely, I think criticism of this is disproportionate to the amount which it merits, which is far less. Ultimately, I ought to care much more about someone killed by ISIS in France than someone killed by ISIS in Lebanon. If somebody at Radley died, I would not be criticised if for that day, I mourned his or her life, and ignored all the other people who died that day in Africa. The proximity of Paris evokes empathy, whilst the distance of Beirut evokes sympathy.
The problem is, however, that to destroy this toxic idea of jihad, we need ourselves to undergo a radical change in thinking. It is no longer acceptable to have religion as a taboo, a sensitive topic about which we shouldn’t debate, and in which we shouldn’t interfere. Religion has been proven to be the source of much violence, from the sacking of Jerusalem in the first Crusade, to the current renewed intifada in Jerusalem in 2015. So we need to take the veil off religion, and debate in the open its place in our society: particularly Islam. Why particularly Islam? Because by and large the notion of Christendom ended after we stopped having Christian emperors in Europe after the First World War. Christianity has not manifested itself in violence for a long time. The dar al-Islam, however, the Islamic equivalent of Christendom, does exist. And unfortunately, for millions of Muslims, the dar al-harb also exists. The dar al-harb is Europe; the dar al-harb is any place that is not the dar al-Islam. It is the place where millions of Muslims believe they should go to war. Literally, it translates to the House of War. We need to feel confident enough to bring reason to the debate about religion.
– – — INSIDE — – – The British Empire • Jeremy Corbyn • Cryptology • Genetic Modification • Morality • CCF Requests Drones • Overheard • Controversy • Correspondence and much more…
4 December 2015
THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE
Muhammad, unlike Jesus Christ, was a warrior. Sura Showing nationalistic solidarity by changing our 4:89 instructs to ‘seize and kill’ disbelievers. 8:12-13 profile pictures is not enough. We need to do two says: “I will instil terror into the hearts of the things to make sure this does not happen again. First, Unbelievers: smite ye above their necks and smite all Western foreign policy needs to become coherent, and their finger-tips off them”. There are at least 109 intelligent. It was our removal of Saddam Hussein in verses in the Quran which call upon its followers to Iraq that destabilised the region and allowed ISIS to fight or kill non-believers. The occupy the subsequent power fact is that many young vacuum. And now, we are “There are at least 109 verses repeating this mistake, arguably, radicalised Muslims become indoctrinated, through political in the Quran which call upon with our assault on Bashar alIslamism, with the sense that Assad, by providing the rebels its followers to fight or kill Islam requires violence of them. with arms to diminish Assad’s Contemporary Christianity takes power: these arms are now in the non-believers.” a more contextual and hands of ISIS. A clear, coherent, progressive approach to what considered intervention is needed seem today to be contentious passages such as the in the Middle East, and it probably requires point in Matthew where the Jews, having called for cooperation with Russia and Iran. Jesus to be crucified by the Romans, are quoted as The second thing that needs to happen, and this is the crying out: ‘let his blood be upon us and upon our most difficult, is an enlightenment within Islam. There children’ – an account that was used to justify are over a billion Muslims, and millions live among Christian anti-Semitism for centuries. In exactly the us. I think that they are the solution. Our Muslim same way, Islam needs an enlightenment whereby in friends living among us need to become reformers and the same spirit as most modern revolutionaries. They need to Christians, Muslim people start “The wider cost is that the insist on creating a tolerant, contextualising their own text. It culture where selfIslamic State has successfully scholarly is only if this ‘happens, that the criticism is acceptable. The ‘sola scriptura” ideology of the traumatised a nation, and has indoctrination of young people fundamentalists, responsible for successfully struck fear in the also needs to stop. The the loss of countless lives, can be suppression of the Islamist ideals eroded and diminished. hearts of millions.” of absolutism and Koranic If we do not break the silence, infallibility is not an attack on and invite Muslims to question the notion that the liberty: it is a defence of it. There used to be similar Quran is infallible in every respect, and that Islam is extremism and violent fundamentalism amongst incontrovertibly ‘a religion of peace’, we risk the Christians. But Christianity was moderated by the continued radicalisation and conversion of young Reformation and the Enlightenment. Now, Islam needs people to militant Islamism. My Christian friends do to go through a similar journey. not get upset when I criticise the Bible; my Muslim friends are much more sensitive. I would like to see a YANNIS GIDOPOULOS (E) global enlightenment in Islam. I would like to see our moderate Muslim friends driving change to the effect that Muslims stop being killed for apostasy, and fewer Muslims become radicalised as a result of our refusal to criticise what needs to be criticised. The attacks in Paris were an absolute tragedy for our Western, secular civilisation. The cost is not simply that 129 people died. The wider cost is that the Islamic State has successfully traumatised a nation, and has successfully struck fear in the hearts of millions. The truth is that every time I board an underground train, I think about the possibility of a bombing. Every time I board a plane, even if for a half-moment, I think about the possibility of a terror attack. And for the people of Paris, who have endured two terror attacks by Muslims in the last year, their psychology will have been irreparably damaged.
EDITORS OF ‘THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE’ Yannis Gidopoulos (E), Felix Barbour (F), Dr Alexander Rhodes and Mr Ian Yorston
ASSISTANT EDITORS OF ‘THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE’ Olly Daly (A), Arthur Dingemans (C), George Eaton (E) and Christoph Wallendahl (F)
THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE
SMAC: THOSE MINUTES IN FULL For the benefit of those who could not attend the most recent SMAC meeting, the Chronicle has obtained a written copy of the discussion. With our trademark investigative journalism and panache, we are striving to bring you all that you may have missed from the darkest corners of the College. Please contact chronicle@radley.org.uk to join our campaign to continue to publicise information from elitist societies such as SMAC. 1. A register was taken of attendees and it was ascertained that representatives from A, B, D, E, F, G, H, J and K Socials were present as well as selected members of the kitchen staff. The I Social representative sent apologies for his absence.
4 December 2015 School’s increasing multiculturalism. He was reminded that there is no multiculturalism to cater for. 10. The C Social representative arrived with a black eye and sat in the recently vacated seat. Eye contact was avoided. 11. Both the representatives of E and F Social raised the point that one of the hot chocolate/hot water/latte/cappuccino/mocha machines is currently ‘out of order’, causing disruptions to the usual progression of persons through Hall. The Office of Maintenance and Gastronomy (OMG) has been informed. 12. The G Social representative requested on behalf of the G Social Pastoral House Mistress that six loaves of bread be delivered on Fridays instead of the usual five and a half. This has been noted.
2. A Shell was summoned to take a memo ‘at the double!’ to the C Social Pastoral House Mistress to inform her of the absence.
13. The suggestion was made that pre-match lunches for visiting sportsmen should be laced with laxatives. Supplies will be replenished.
3. The list of topics to be discussed was distributed.
14. No other business was raised.
4. The Chairperson asked if the meeting should begin and it was agreed by those present that the meeting should begin.
15. The week’s menu was distributed and the previous week’s menu was sent to the Library for archiving.
5. The meeting began. 6. The point was raised that Thursday’s Deli Bar baguettes had recently been arranged with the brown baguettes on the left and the white baguettes on the right. There was a general consensus that it was more practical for the white baguettes to be placed to the left of the brown baguettes. This will be rectified. 7. It was requested by the A Social representative that the sugar sachets on offer should be Fairtrade. The representative was reminded that the Tate & Lyle sugar available in Hall is Fairtrade. 8. The A Social representative was rebuked by all for his foolishness and dismissed. 9. It was proposed by the J Social representative that halal meat should be offered at meals to cater for the
16. It was decided by all present that the meeting should adjourn. 17. The meeting was adjourned. 18. Boys returned to Socials and kitchen staff returned to ‘the shed’. Pick up the next issue of the Chronicle for an insight into those ‘Advanced Calendar Planning’ meetings.
OVERHEARD… A regular column devoted to memorable quotes from all quarters of College. Overheard in History: Don: ‘We’ll leave the woman to one side for the moment.’ Overheard in F Social: Don: ‘Durham is the equivalent of the vegetarian sausage.’ Overheard in English: Boy: ‘I have done thy mother!’ Overheard in H Social: Don: ‘Unzip and extract.’ Overheard in Biology: Boy: ‘Is cocaine the best cure for altitude sickness?’ Don: ‘Probably.’
4 December 2015
THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE
JEZ WE CAN
J
AN OBITUARY FOR THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY
eremy Corbyn. There has been so much Gammongate fiasco didn’t do wonders to revive the excitement around the man that, quite honestly, I Tories’ credibility as ‘responsible’. I could also go on was more interested in the Labour leadership about how, with exponentially increasing wealth election when it happened, than I was in the Greek inequality, there will come a point in the next 10 years elections. I remember way back NM asking my set that the exploited people will wake up to the fact that whom we thought had the best chance of winning the capitalism and government are not working for them at leadership contest. I said Chuka Umunna. But oh, what the moment. We will witness in the next couple of a wee lamb I was. Little did I know that Jezza would years – and it could happen in the US first – a sudden end up winning. It’s interesting and overwhelming tidal surge of to think, though, that had anger and outrage at the “…there will come a point in unchristian, undemocratic, and Umunna not dropped out of the contest, Corbyn would probably immoral unfairness upon which the next 10 years that the not have made it onto the ballot functions. If this happens exploited people will wake up society paper at all. Anyway, I’m glad before 2020, and it will happen he did. to the fact that capitalism and suddenly (arguably Jeremy marks the beginning), I recognise that at Ra Ra we government are not working Corbyn then I would be surprised if the don’t like lentil-eating, treefor them” Conservatives win over 10% of hugging, progressive, vestthe vote in 2020. Mark these wearing, tieless Socialists like words. 10%. Jeremy Corbyn because then the rest of the country might start nipping at our heels, trying to claim a small But fear not. The good news is that if you think portion of the wealth the aristocracy has been stealing Jeremy Corbyn would endanger the economy, then from them since 1066. feel safe in the knowledge that you would think the opposite if you weren’t ideologically driven. If you What is funny, however, is that some particularly want to undeservedly make money in life, and Corbyn deluded, short-sighted, undiscerning people think that is in power, well, you probably still will. Corbyn in the man who has been given an unprecedentedly large power would not change the fact that we have all (the largest ever, in fact) mandate from the people to received a superior education undeservedly, and that lead the Labour party is many of us are supported by unelectable. People think that the undeserved wealth, and that we “I would be surprised if the Tories will win a landslide in will end up going to the best 2020. What people don’t realise Conservatives win over 10% universities, and that we have is that it’s the Tories who friends in the City. The point is of the vote in 2020. Mark became unelectable the moment all of this culminates in our Cameron was elected in 2015, these words. 10%.” having an unfair advantage, and, when the nation suddenly whatever happens, this unfair realised what had just happened and thought “Oh, advantage will never go away. So whether it’s Corbyn misery!”. And with George Osbourne announcing his in 2020 or May/Osbourne/Johnson, we will still have recent wishes to treat the Welfare State as if it’s the higher chances of doing well in life than other human medicinal bit in the magic homeopathy water, in beings on this bursting planet that are equally as able. addition to his removal of the cap to tuition fees So don’t panic, comrades, you will still have an unfair (they’re going to rise by the way, for those who aren’t advantage over the proletariat! in the loop), and because this wouldn’t be unpopular enough, his removal of the maintenance grant (it’s as To briefly assess Corbyn’s actual policies, I will say if he’s trying as hard as he can to not get elected). If the following. He will not put our national security at anybody thinks the Tories have a shot at 2020, well, risk, because I can tell you now that nobody is going then they’re entitled to their hilarious opinion. A to invade Britain in the next century apart from petition for a vote of no confidence in David Cameron terrorists, and to combat terrorists we need neither has already received so many signatures that it will nuclear weapons, nor a massive military. Corbyn’s probably be debated by MP’s in the coming weeks. emphasis on having a defensive military, rather than The Tories are rapidly losing their credibility – and one with colonial capabilities is, um, not exactly they’re losing it right now, as I write, because it’s only unreasonable. really now that Labour is saying what it ought to have Secondly, his plans to nationalise the railways are said before the election. And needless to say the whole idealistic, but excellent. There is one massive flaw
THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE
4 December 2015
with the private sector running the railways. And we pride of many Britons is such that they are proud of all agree with it. Two words that we associate with the the British Empire, and so some like the subtext of private sector are ‘competition’ and ‘profit’. Now, the having a constitutional monarchy, and a national flaw with the ‘competition’ bit of having private train anthem that says: ‘O Lord God arise, Scatter our companies is that there is no competition. When I take enemies, And make them fall!’. But excuse Jeremy the train from London to Durham, I use the Virgin Corbyn for not embracing the kind of imperialist song East Coast train company. Now, Virgin here has no that may remind him of Britain’s history with slavery. competition. It’s not competing with anybody. It is the Could I also point out that the national anthem is only train company that operates that route: I do not called ‘God Save the Queen’. This is a title that have a choice but to take it. This contains two things that will not means that Virgin has a literal exist in Britain in a century’s “Can somebody please tell 100% monopoly on that market, time. me why it is wrong for and so it can set its prices at And in the case that a somebody to not utter the whatever rate, because it’s not prospective parent is reading like we can do anything about it. words of a nationalistic, this, I should make explicit that If I don’t like Starbucks, I’ll go the views presented in this article imperialistic, colonialist to Costa. If I don’t like Virgin, are not representative of the I’ll take…Virgin. I have to take anthem?” views of most Radleians (the it. Such is the nature of railways. very opposite in fact). I can It is, therefore, unusual that our railways have been assure you that despite the content of this article, we privatised. France and Germany have publicly owned are actually posher than Eton. We really are. Ask railways. And if you’re concerned about reducing the James Delingpole. deficit, well, when East Coast was owned by the government it generated £1 billion of profit a year for the government, and that was with ticket prices that YANNIS GIDOPOULOS (E) were cheaper than the current prices, since Virgin recently decided to eradicate all of the cheaper “in advance” ticket fares. So, for the love of God, don’t call Corbyn radical for wanting publicly owned railways like nearly every other developed country. OVERHEARD… And sparing a few words for his broader economic policy, I will say that he is no deficit denier. Despite the fact that, really, the recent Tory rhetoric attacking Labour’s spending is absurd, because it was not high spending that caused the global (ahem, GLOBAL) banking crisis, Corbyn is not going to be spending significantly more than the Tories, if at all more. I will also note that Labour’s “high spending” (bailing out the banks) was a response to the banking crisis, not a cause of it. Certainly, however, Jeremy Corbyn will not be printing more money than George Osbourne; certainly he will not be spending much more; certainly he will be collecting more money than Osbourne to diminish the deficit, by aggressively tackling corporate tax avoidance, and making sure that the rich pay the sort of tax rate that they used to pay a decade ago, when actually all of your parents were busy making a lot of money, so I’m sure they won’t mind. Finally I would like to give a panegyric of his refusal to sing the national anthem. Can somebody please tell me why it is wrong for somebody to not utter the words of a nationalistic, imperialistic, colonialist anthem? I would like to think that there is a consensus that the Queen is not divinely appointed, and so the very notion of the monarchy is a bit ridiculous. Yes, I appreciate, I really do, that the intrinsic arrogance and
Overheard in Chemistry: Don: ‘Can anyone tell me what an amine smells like?’ Boy: ‘They smell fishy.’ Don: ‘Hm…I always think they smell a bit like tramp.’ Overheard in F Social: Don: ‘Next term we’re having inter-Social cage fighting.’ Overheard in Maths: Don: ‘I have done something before the lesson that I have not done in a long time.’ Boy: ‘Sir, have you planned it?’ Overheard in Geology: Boy: ‘If Channing Tatum walked up to me, I’d defiantly kiss him.’ Overheard in Maths: Boy: ‘Have you seen special timetable? We’ve got you for a double lesson.’ Don: ‘#ChristmasTreat.’
4 December 2015
M
THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE
MORALITY
orality is plastic. It is artificial; it is cheap; it is malleable. You will note that at different stages in humanity’s history it has been morally acceptable to burn people; it has been morally acceptable to wage war on other countries; it has been morally acceptable to exclude women from democracy; it has been morally acceptable to own other human beings in the slave trade.
imposed on everyone so that freedom of speech and freedom of thought are inhibited. In some countries, holocaust deniers don’t get lambasted by the rest of society, which is what should happen. They, instead, get imprisoned. Homophobes are not, by law, allowed to be express homophobic sentiment. If public opinion is against homophobia, let homophobia get suppressed by the public. Political correctness is oppressively imposed on us. Film-makers are not allowed to film a Do not think that we are much better now. Morality is car chase with a 007 not wearing a seat belt, because it not this absolute, perfect, divine code towards which would be “immoral” to promote such an image. In the human race strives. We are not, over the centuries, society’s attempt to become less oppressive by ironing slowly perfecting morality, or working towards a out such disgusting things as perfect morality. discrimination and racism, it is “…at different stages in Morality is that artificial code of becoming equally oppressive in behavioural rules that humanity enforcing this. The fact that there humanity’s history it has manufactures in order to create a even a debate as to whether been morally acceptable to was system for itself that facilitates the we should restrict freedom of success of those at the top. burn people” speech after the Charlie Hebdo Morality, which often promotes attack is indicative of the cooperation (but not always), is created by us so that oppressive nature of our policy-makers. we do well in the perpetual race of life. We stopped Morality is this plastic, human invention. Its only end invading other countries after they became so is to perpetuate human existence – and specifically, it militarily advanced that it no longer suited us. We is tailored to the interests of those at the top. If we started giving women the vote, not because we decided didn’t have morality, we wouldn’t live in independently that it was right, but because women communities, and we would be like the basest of fought so hard for it. We stopped burning Protestants animals. So morality is an inevitability. But after the Protestants started ruling England. Politicians acknowledging the fact that life exists for no apparent started introducing legislation defending LGBT reason, then in fact it isn’t a problem that a perfect communities only when they realised it was in their morality can’t exist, and that we are not altruistic. political interest to do so. We’re all going to die one day. Why should we It is a mistake to think that you are altruistic. You may engineer a perfect morality to guide a species that think that you are moral and intrinsically selfless. But can’t justify its own existence? really, none of you, whilst being horrified by the photo of Aylan Kurdi, will have actually tried to do something about it, like donating money to charities working with refugees. Equally, there aren’t a great deal of you who would willingly pay more tax so that fewer people in our own country sleep on the streets. But look, I mean, that’s fine. I recognise that we live in a society that is so numbed it can’t recognise that by definition you can’t both fuel the perpetual deaths of refugees and homeless people, and at the same time brand yourself as moral. Soon the country might start to realise that ‘trickle down’ doesn’t work. ‘Doesn’t work’ is the nice way of putting it. Belief in it is actually killing society’s most vulnerable. Would you really rather drive a Bentley and wear daddy’s signet ring with pride than redistribute your undeserved wealth in order to ensure the survival of the weakest? And even when we get it right, we get it wrong. So we’ve realised that homosexuals, for example, should not have reduced rights. But this new, shiny morality that is against racism and discrimination is tyrannically
THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE
I
4 December 2015
THE CASE FOR GENETIC MODIFICATION
n an overwhelming vote against progress, two thirds of European Union states have voted to ban the cultivation of genetically modified crops. The vote, backed by the likes of Germany, has demonstrated a worrying distrust of scientific progress. In a world of increasing crop failure and lack of farmland, GM crops will soon become the only way to (literally) cater for the exponential growth of the human “The suffering population.
environment when science is capable of altering crops so that they can manufacture their own natural pesticides that are specific to one particular pest? Current pesticides do not possess this specificity and result in the needless deaths of many ‘higher order’ animals. The suffering inflicted on nature is entirely preventable and yet the politicians do not choose to accept it. There has been no evidence to suggest that GM poses any threat to both human health and the environment. The EU knew that. On the contrary, health can be improved. You’ve probably heard about the desolation of healthy components in fruit and vegetables. This can be reversed, improving the content of our food and therefore our health.
inflicted on nature is entirely preventable and yet the politicians do not choose to accept it.”
The case against genetic modification is threefold: 1) It’s unnatural and so must be bad (playing God, etc.). 2) It will harm the environment and reduce diversity, and 3) It will threaten human health. Let’s unpick these one by one; I think the evidence would be a good place to start.
Humans have been messing with genetics since the domestication of dogs 35 thousand years ago. Ever since, the cross-breeding of plants and animals (not together, though…yet!) has proceeded uncontested to bring about desired characteristics, honing their traits to those you see today. Think about the journey from wolf to dachshund: is that really natural? Every cow, chicken, dog and grain of wheat is the sole result of human intervention. Genetic engineering works by means of taking a desired gene from one species and inserting it into the DNA of another. The recipient will therefore express the gene as if it were its own (which it now is). It follows that every single gene that is spliced between species occurs elsewhere in nature – they are naturally occurring. Different species of bacteria swap genes all the time, enabling them to become the most versatile and widespread organisms on the planet. We too have been genetically engineered. The human lineage has been repeatedly infected with retroviruses (viruses that insert their genetic code into yours), causing our bodies to synthesise viral proteins. They “live on” inside your genome and are passed on down the generations. Retroviruses do have their uses. One was discovered earlier this year to protect the early embryo from other viruses! Genetic modification is a natural process. Real threats to the environment, pesticides, for example, will be diminished by the culture of GM crops. Ever wondered why you don’t find seeds in bananas? That’s because every single one is genetically identical: they are clones. Now that’s a serious lack of genetic diversity. And why should a farmer have to smother his crops in toxic pesticides that are detrimental to human health and the
Food is by no means the only battlefield. Antibiotic resistance poses an immediate threat to the whole of modern medicine and is being tackled in a variety of ways. Among the most promising innovations is the modification of viruses (essentially a bundle of genes wrapped in protein) to specifically hunt and kill bacteria. Humanity is currently facing several major threats to its existence, all of which can and will be solved by science. Science is not a ritualistic, exclusive cult, lurking in the shadows to advance its own selfish ideals, science is humanity’s greatest weapon of survival and we had better start arming ourselves.
The Chronicle is recruiting. Do you dream of becoming a Chronicle Editor? Simply email chronicle@radley.org.uk or speak to an Editor to make those dreams a reality. (No tweed necessary.)
4 December 2015
THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE
THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
A
Why we should bring back the British Empire – or should we?
very good question. However, an even better pack of beagles tear them up (N.B. this offense still one would be why should we not bring back stands if you don’t know the difference between a the Empire? To which the answer is simple, foxhound and a beagle). I do, however, think that one because some people do not like it. Well boo to them. should know how to wield a knife and fork correctly. The Empire was not founded on the wishy washy You may laugh at this point but as I sat in lunch today liberal principles of likes and feelings. It was founded pondering the advantages of invading France over on hard work, long days and a very British recolonising the USA I looked around and saw a determination to improve the world. If you can cast plethora of boys and dons not using their knives and your minds back to, say, 1850 you would find the forks properly and was appalled. If the younger world a totally different place to that which we live in generation and their teachers cannot master the art of today. Her Majesty Queen Victoria ruled over a cutlery usage what hope is there for us? This never quarter of the world (the big red bit on the map) and would have happened during the Empire. Neither what we said went. At home we were going through would the rise of Socialism or terrorism (one far more the industrial revolution and dangerous than the other…) inventing hard work, the French because we were in a position “It is alas, no longer feasible, had a French revolution and around the world to stop them. invented Frenchness, and practical or possible to run an That is why, at a time full of overseas a new lot of minds were crises, it is important that we Empire” being exposed to British beliefs British stand together and stand and values. The world started to up for our country. An wake up to many of the principles that the Empire uneducated ex-colonial might say that this sort of talk stood for. is irrelevant today. He would also probably say that I should probably say at this point that I am a realist. there is no place in society for the Queen. Off with his The most asked question throughout my time as leader head, I say! The Queen is a chandelier of hope in a of the British Empire Party in the Radley mock dark hall of anti-patriotic and anti-establishmentarian election was “do you really want the Empire back?”. schools of thought. She is everything that is right in With boyish enthusiasm and a little bit of factual book this world. She has given her life to serving this cooking I, of course, said “Yes and a damn good thing country. She is well mannered, polite and can look a too, shake up the colonies and all that”. In reality, as I man square face. She has seen a lot of change in her say, I am a realist, and I do realise that sadly the world time: from the destruction of the post-War England has moved on from where it was one or two hundred that she inherited to the modern nation we see today. years ago and as much as we hate these changes we She has seen politicians change from Churchill to must be dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st Cameron to Corbyn but she is the breezeblock that this century. It is alas, no longer feasible, practical or nation has needed to build a better Britain. possible to run an Empire on the scale that we did in I have spent hardly any time talking about recolonising the past. However, this does not mean we should give the world. As much as I would like to do it, I know it up the ideas and principles of Empire. simply does not wash with the large majority of people These were principles that this great school and many today. What I will say, though, is that Britain would be others were founded on. Principles such as good far better off if we adopted the same attitude and manners, pride in nation (now frowned upon), pride in principles as we had when we were building an community, loyalty to monarch, determination for Empire. Even if you disagree with invading other success, hunger for learning and humbleness in countries and suppressing a quarter of the world’s achievement. In short, principles that would serve any population, surely you must agree that the principles gentleman well in the post-Empire world we live in that ran through the blood of Englishmen during this today. period of Empire-building would improve and strengthen this great country we call Britain. But why, I hear you ask, are these things relevant in this technology-filled, vegan-friendly, anti-nationalist world we live in today? Manners and an understanding ARCHIE CLIFTON-BROWN (A) of tradition and etiquette are important. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that if you don’t know the difference between a foxhound and a staghound you should have your innards removed and watch a hungry
THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE
4 December 2015
QUEUE BARGING
R
An appeal to the simple Radleian
adleians, we must unite on this issue and smite our fine school of this filthy stain. Of course, I am talking about queue-barging. However, don’t let your eyes glaze over just yet, as it may result in you walking into some relatively sharp object. Instead, I implore you to read on with an open mind and hopefully be changed for the better. It’s Friday evening, Social Choice, and you spot that the don on duty has just strolled over to call a truce to the battle of flying chips taking place in Hall. Meanwhile, you are currently wandering nearer to the counter, “seeing what has been picked for Social Choice”. The don disappears round the corner and you pounce; Fifths go flying, Shells are trampled, one Remove limps off to Med Centre with a bloody nose, but it is mission accomplished nonetheless. You have successfully cheated the system and no one suspects a thing. Now think back to your time as a Shell. I’m sure you too were ignominiously trampled in the mad dash for Social Choice. Furthermore, I think that you are now happily content that you have jumped in front of these young Radleians. After all, it happened to you, why shouldn’t it happen to them as well? You grin with delight as though you are Ethan Hunt having successfully infiltrated the Pentagon when in reality all you have done is pushed a couple of smaller organisms out of the way for no reason other than wanting to receive your portion of food a minute or two quicker. You then proceed to mutter curses as a burly, salivating 6.2 proceeds to barge you out of the way; he’s the alpha-male and this is his domain. Now let me express this situation in extra-Radley terms. You are a Jew living in Germany in 1941. You are being oppressed (queue-barged) by the despicable Nazis (6.2s). Skip forward 4 years and the war is over, the Germans have been crushed and you have been put at the head (6.2) of creating a new, better Germany (Radley) from which all the Nazis (previous 6.2s) have already fled. However, you are still bitter at being oppressed by those nasty Nazis and thus you decided
to have your revenge and decided to mass-murder all of the Polish refugees (new Shells) who had ended up in your country. Take a step back from this diorama and you will see that little has actually been achieved; the Jews were oppressed so they in turn oppressed the Poles. Thus, the original instigators of this oppression (the Germans) got off and the innocent bystanders (the Poles) came off the worst as you vented your frustration on them. I would like to ask you how you can justify that decision. This has created the classic “A bully is a bully because several years ago he himself was bullied” scenario: a vicious spiral of never-ending wrongdoing. It has been concluded by psychologists that most bullies do what they do because of at least one of three things: low selfesteem, depression, or behavioural problems from early childhood. Now which one of these would you like to be proud of admitting to? Do any of these reasons justify your actions or do they simply explain them? Will queuebarging because it happened to you truly help the situation? The simple conclusion to be drawn is that one can never justify exploiting their power as an older boy in the form of queue-barging. A common misconception made by Radleians is that, just because one has authority and an opportunity to exercise power, one must do so. However, the reality couldn’t be more distant. History has shown that those below you will be much more willing to do something for you out of love and respect than out of fear. So if you want to be respected by the younger years, if you want to feel as though you are superior to them, you must treat them as equals and, from that, they will treat you as their superior. You cannot simply demand that another human being, your equal in the eyes of the law, surrender to you in subjugation. Your distaste originated from the problem of queue-barging, not from the new Shells, and yet you still seem to think that they must be held responsible and suffer because of it. Queue-barging is far from a necessary evil and is simply inexcusable. So when you next consider jumping ahead of someone younger than you in the queue, remember, with great power comes great responsibility.
4 December 2015
S
THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE
THE NEED FOR SLEEP leep has been difficult to understand in the past. It has often been associated with the need for rest: the need to “refill the tank” with energy.
But this is not the case. We do not sleep in order to “recharge our batteries”, because what recharges our batteries is respiration: oxygen + food. And if we ate a fourth meal in the evening, creating more energy, this would not make us feel less ‘tired’. We would still need to sleep.
boys, and tutors go about implementing rules stating that all Sixth Formers need to be up by 7.30am. So we know the problem is that we are waking up too early. The solution that tutors implement is to get the boys up even earlier! Let’s have even less sleep! It’s like the Rugby Club identifying the poor results, and deciding that the solution to all its woes is to cancel Thursday training sessions.
This is unwise. After so many studies have shown so The point is sleep is not “More people are getting conclusively and convincingly something intuitive. It is not Alzheimer’s disease because that adolescents need to be something that is easy to getting up later, to ignore this understand. But in the 21st increasingly jobs are advice is a resounding form of Century, after decades of stubbornness. Worst still, it’s requiring workers to work research in neuroscience, we do reckless and dangerous. An understand it. The question is, longer shifts” increasing number of teenagers why don’t we implement our across the country are paying the understanding? price of this, with there now being an increased risk of So we understand that sleep is a kind of detoxing obesity, diabetes, cardiovascular disease, hypertension, mechanism. When we are awake, neurotoxic waste greater substance/alcohol abuse, anxiety, exhaustion, accumulates in our brain and sleep detoxes this waste. and depression, amongst adolescents. As Paul Kelley Sleep has restorative qualities. After being awake for a writes in the Guardian: “later starts improve output, whole day, we become mentally exhausted, and it is all efficiency, and quality of life”. Let’s move period 1 the experiences in the elapsed day that sleep organises forward; let’s get rid of early morning exams; let’s see in our mental filing cabinet. our productivity and our academic results improve. Needless to say, the link between sleep and our mental state is extremely strong. The conclusion, therefore, is that sleep matters. It matters because it influences our behaviour; our productivity; our mentality – a lack of sleep can cause mental disorders and depression. So why do we insist in doing it so wrong as a society? More people are getting Alzheimer’s disease because increasingly jobs are requiring workers to work longer shifts. This is dangerous for the mental health of the worker, and, if we are describing hospital workers, it is dangerous for the patients. Furthermore it is dangerous for output of the companies whose staff are not as productive as they would be if they got up an hour later every day. And what about us at school? Study after study after study has shown that adolescents require more sleep than adults. It is a fact of neuroscience that the body clock – wake/sleep hours – of an adolescent is set two or three hours later in the day than might be expected. So why, for the love of God, has the school day not been changed? Dons complain about boys in period 1 not having high levels of productivity. And dons insist on ignoring the neuroscience. Instead of accepting the facts, dons insist that it is somehow the fault of the
OVERHEARD… Overheard in Biology: Don: ‘This is the part where I wish I could start playing the violin. Just imagine those poor yeast cells desperately producing toxic ethanol so that you can enjoy their respiratory substrate.’ Overheard in Hall: Don (to self): ‘Gherkins…Perkins…Merkins…’ Overheard in K Social: Boy (listening to Pink Floyd’s The Dark Side of the Moon): ‘When will this song end? It’s been going on for almost an hour.’ Overheard in Maths: Boy: ‘Everyone has a family motto.’ Don: ‘No, they don’t. Everyone at Radley has a family motto. I bet there are whole areas of Africa with no family mottos.’ Please keep sending in (printable) quotes – to chronicle@radley.org.uk
THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE
4 December 2015
SYRIA
S
What should we do?
yria: a humanitarian crisis, a democratic crisis, a Russian-US diplomatic crisis, a ChristianMuslim crisis, and a fascinating intellectual puzzle. A totalitarian regime under Bashar al-Assad is competing against an Islamic fundamentalist movement, and against a third group: the independent Syrian rebels. The arrogance of recent Western foreign policy is such that we feel an obligation to intervene. But not only do we have to decide what to do, but also how. Russia wants to destroy ISIS. Does it place its own troops there? Does it empower Assad’s regime to crush ISIS? The US and Europe, by and large, want neither ISIS, nor Assad. What do they do? Should the US back the rebels to destroy both ISIS and Assad? But there seems to be a lot of evidence suggesting the heavy presence of extremism in the rebel forces. Should we do nothing, and let this disaster continue, whilst a nation destroys itself, and millions of refugees flood into Europe? David Starkey makes an astute point: people do not like being freed. He means that freeing a people is much worse than allowing the people to free themselves. If we do not intervene, the hope is that the rebels would win organically and the problem of a power vacuum would be minimised, as democracy emerges endogenously in Syria. There are problems
with this. ISIS controls so much of Syria that there is no reason to assume the rebel opposition would win. Furthermore, even if it did win, it would likely be in over a decade, and by then Syria’s development would have been set back about a century, with their infrastructure completely annihilated. Further still, why should we not intervene against ISIS, when they are launching terrorist attacks against the West? Finally, if we do nothing, we are doing nothing to heal the cause of the unsustainable influx of refugees across the Mediterranean and into Europe, primarily through Greece and Italy. The purpose of this article is not to provide a solution to the problem, or to provide an in-depth assessment of the current situation in Syria. The hope is simply to evoke some questions. Since 400,000 refugees have entered Greece, is it right that David Cameron only wants to take in 20,000? Cameron stubbornly refuses to cooperate with Assad in order to defeat ISIS. Does this mean that he wants to launch a large scale Western military expedition to Syria, and then to oversee Syria’s transition into democracy over the next decade or two, necessitating a long term presence in Syria for the British military? All of these are interesting questions. The Chronicle invites you to explore them further.
CRYPTOLOGY CHALLENGE Crack the code. Answers can be sent to Christoph Wallendahl for verification. PRLIEX CRII, RIQM HKMVK RQ JRKQFMK, VRQ ATFIS YMP QFP GMCK QSMKECMTQE AESVEEK QEUEKSEEK SVEKSX-MKE RKL QEUEKSEEK SVEKSX-YFUE AX VFIIFRJ SMVKEQEKL, RKL AESVEEK QEUEKSEEK QEUEKSX-MKE RKL QEUEKSEEK QEUEKSX-SVM, DRNRAFIFSX APMVK VRQ NRFL QFW CTKLPEL RKL QEUEKSX-SVM NMTKLQ YMP IRKLQDRNFKB SCE BPMTKLQ. FK EFBCSEEK YMPSX-QEUEK VFIIFRJ QEVEII RKL PMAEPS QFKBIESMK RNNIFEL YMP R IERQE MK SCE CMTQE, RKL PRLIEX VRQ YMTKLEL. SCE ERPIFEQS QTPUFUFKB QHESDCEQ MY JRKQFMK VEPE LPRVK AX G.J.V.STPKEP. SCE MPFBFKRI QHESDCAMMH FQ KMV FK SCE STPKEP DMIIEDSFMK, SRSE BRIIEPX, IMKLMK. SCE MRH NRKEIFKB FK SCE NRKEIEL PMMJ VRQ LEQFBKEL AX QFP DCPFQSMNCEP VPEK FK QFWSEEK QEUEKSX-SCPEE YMP SCE DCMFP FK JEPSMK DMIIEBE DCRNEI. FS VRQ PEJMUEL YPMJ JEPSMK FK EFBCSEEK YMPSX-SVM, YMIIMVFKB SCE YRQCFMK MY SCE SFJE. FS VRQ PEQDTEL AX VFIIFRJ QEVEII RKL FKQSRIIEL RS PRLIEX.
4 December 2015
THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE
CORRESPONDENCE Correspondence is invited from any interested parties: please send contributions via email to chronicle@radley.org.uk. Correspondents are welcome to use a pseudonym but must make their identity known to the Editors. To the editors of ‘The Radley College Chronicle’: Yannis, I think a few things. Firstly, it is mistaken to think that it is an innovation in thought to criticise Islam for the Paris attacks. I think that even in the way you have done, mainstream thinkers like Sam Harris, Ali Rizvi, Ayan Hirsi Ali, Stephen Knight, Douglas Murray and perhaps more prominently, Christopher Hitchens, Richard Dawkins, Daniel Dennet and many others have been doing for years. To present this as though you are presenting fresh thought serves only to make you seem illinformed. Secondly, though I don’t disagree with the tenor of your argument, you must surely be aware of the difference between three terms: Islam (however radical its presentation), Islamism, and Jihad. Without departing from the mainstream, I would define these respectively as ‘adherence to the Koran and Hadith’, ‘belief that this adherence should be made the legal and cultural mainstream’, and ‘the enforcement of this belief by force’. I don’t think this nuance is present in your piece, and failure to acknowledge the nuance does not make you a tireless pursuer of the simple truth: in fact, it makes you a boor.
Thirdly, journalism, however humble our vehicle, must surely be our destination. I am bound to ask exactly what is your journalistic aim? If you seek to inform, then your opinion of your readership is poor indeed. There is not a boy in Radley who could not, with ten minutes on Wikipedia, have drawn the same conclusions. If to persuade, then of what do you wish to persuade your reader? That Islam in its most extreme manifestations is a medieval institution? That terrorists are violent? That religion is a departure from reason? Your classmates may not be Attic, but they are not Barbarian either. I finally think this. Try, for once, cross dressing. As Cromwell implored Charles, ‘think it possible, in the bowels of Christ, that you may be mistaken’. I do not think you are wrong. But surely what distinguishes us from those who seek to destroy us is our ability to selfreflect, to self-criticise, to refuse ourselves. Dare, Yannis, to believe, for the sake of informed, entertaining, balanced journalism, that the narrative of outrage that you wish to print is not the only narrative. DR RHODES P.S. Print this email alongside your article if you really have the stones.
Contributions and correspondence on any topic are welcomed from all current or former members of the Radley community: please be the first to send to chronicle@radley.org.uk or to ‘The Editors, The Chronicle, Radley College, Abingdon, Oxon. OX14 2HR’.
© Radley College 2015. Printed by Radley Reprographics