Life stories

STRUGGLING INDIFFERENCE, BUILDING HOPE: Life Stories of Street Children in India A study done by ARUN (Association for Rural and Urban Needy) in collaboration with Save the Children India

Supported by DFID

Acknowledgements Our deepest admiration is for the children, who endured and dealt with deprivation and distress of surviving on the streets. Your courage in the face of difficulty is awe-inspiring.

Our sincere regards for the team members, who spent years building a relationship of trust with children,so they could talk about their own lives. Your presence assured them support, even after the telling. This would not have been possible without your participation-Suroor, Rajshree, Arunmai, Vishakha, Sr. Sabrina, Jyoti Uttam, Neha Rehman, Neelu and Neetu. Our thanks to team members at RFI, Hyderabad, whose encouragement, support and regular feedback kept us on track.

This wouldn’t have been possible without the strength, deep engagement and sensitivity of our mentor, friend and guide Mr. Harsh Mander. We draw from his passion for justice.

Our gratitude to Mr. Sanat Kumar Sinha (Chief Coordinator, BalSakha) and Mr. Sanjay Kumar Mishra (Executive Director, Bharatiya Kisan Sangh) for allowing us, a glimpse into their work and the life-worlds of their courageous children. The stories wouldn’t have come to life without Sudhirji and Binayji who worked for empowering the children with dignity and respect.

Special thanks to Mr. Abhijeet Nirmal (Project Manager, Save the Children) for his invaluable suggestions, from time to time. We are indebted to you, for your tireless efforts to take this project forward.

Our biggest support has been DFID and Save the Children. We sincerely thank you for funding this project. These stories wouldn’t have come to light without your support.

Deepti Srivastava Research Associate Association for Rural and Urban Needy

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Summary These stories are joint, interactive explorations into lives of street children who are now, in institutional homes or are, independent adults. Based on the participatory research method, the research is designed to allow the participant to share these experiences in a relationship of trust.

This is an important consideration, as the after telling of experiences is hard to cope with.

They need a relationship of trust and empathythat goes beyond acknowledging suffering.

Through these stories, which are “voices of the voiceless�, the present study captures the indifference endured by street children. This indifference of the people in power (by virtue of age, resources, position or privilege) leads to an intense and indiscriminate suffering that is seldom shared.

The thirty five participants, aged between 10-22 years, from five cities namely, Delhi, Patna, Kolkata, Ranchi and Hyderabad, are voices of runaway children, abandoned children and children, who have ties with their families. Many of them have lived in different kinds of shelter homes and have been engaged in different kinds of jobs like rag picking, wage labour, domestic help etc.

Their experiences help us inunderstanding five major areas concerned with the street children: education, health, nutrition, employment and relations on the street. It shows how girls approach the resources available as compared to boys. This is however, also dependent upon resources available for both groups. One can also see a comparative between the younger children telling details of their experiences and older children, making sense of their coping mechanisms.

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Contents 1. Introduction ...............................................................................................................7

Listening to Life Stories..................................................................................................................8 2. Detailing participants and processes.........................................................................9

Age of the children........................................................................................................................9

Gender ..........................................................................................................................................9

The Sites ..........................................................................................................................................9

Gaining Consent.......................................................................................................................... 10

The Participants............................................................................................................................ 10

The Processes................................................................................................................................ 11 3. Life Stories: Stories Unfolded- Text and Context ....................................................12

a. Delhi...................................................................................................................................... 12

i. Braving Childhood All Alone ................................................................................... 13

ii. Divorcing the Home: forced by circumstance, tied with affection ....................... 16

iii. Torture Nowhere Childhood ..................................................................................... 19

iv. Stifling Existence within Four Walls ........................................................................ 21

v. Telling as Healing ...................................................................................................... 26

vi. Orphaned, Abandoned and Betrayed .................................................................... 29

vii. Running Away from Poverty, in Pursuit of Dignity................................................. 31

viii. Driven Away from Drugs and Lack of Love............................................................ 37

ix. Young, Vulnerable and Uncared for........................................................................ 39

x. Together in Grief ....................................................................................................... 42

b. Patna..................................................................................................................................... 45

i. Sold into Drudgery, Living in Hope ......................................................................... 46

ii. Unwanted and Alone: a Childhood Struggling for Support ................................ 49

iii. Childhood of Deprivation: a story not yet told...................................................... 52

iv. United in Grief with the Mother................................................................................ 56

v. Defeating Illness: a story of grit and determination ............................................ 58

vi. Feeling of Abandonment, Struggling to Belonging .............................................. 60

vii. Broken Family, Grieving Heart and a Life Lead Alone ......................................... 66

viii. Negotiating ones Space in a Strained Parental Relationship............................... 68

ix. Separated by Accident, Alone for Life.................................................................... 70

x. Defeated by Memory, Bound by Love...................................................................... 76

xi. Suffering, Endurance and Alleviation ..................................................................... 79

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xii. Distanced by Language, Restored by Care............................................................. 80

xiii. Seeking Family, Negotiating Identity....................................................................... 83

c. Kolkata................................................................................................................................. 87

i. Secrecy to Prevent Stigma......................................................................................... 88

ii. Courage in Distress for Responsibility of Siblings ................................................ 90

iii. Caught between Hatred and Unwantedness and

Conscious Silence for their Love and Respect......................................................... 91 d. Ranchi.................................................................................................................................... 94

i. Running Away from a Labour of Humiliation ........................................................ 94

ii. In Clutches of Extreme Exploitation and Inhumanity ............................................ 97

iii. Feeling Lost, Sold and Left Longing ......................................................................101

iv. Forced by Poverty to Fight Alone ..........................................................................104

v. Bearing the Burden of Responsibility to Earn ......................................................108

e. Hyderabad........................................................................................................................112

i. Poverty, Migration and Destitution ........................................................................112

ii. A Past of Lack of Love and Respect .....................................................................113

iii. Family Lost to Alcohol .............................................................................................114

iv. Left Alone with Faded Memories............................................................................115 7. Conclusion ............................................................................................................117 8. References ............................................................................................................119

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Chapter

1

Introduction

These stories are an exploration into the lives of street children. The term ‘street children’ evokes two extremes at the same time, that of severity and tenderness. Together, these two words challenge the social representations of childhood that look at childhood as sheltered and protected. This combination of extremes is to highlight that the problem is not with the children, it is with the situations they face.

They come on to the streets due to reasons as weakening or disintegration of the family, with fathers leaving or totally abandoning the family, extreme poverty and forced child labour, abuse and extreme neglect. Those who live with their families have deprived living conditions, lack of support for nutrition, health and education.

In addition to structural deprivations they also survive the indifference of oppressive adults within their own families and outside. Pitied and vilified at the same time, the public views them as being out of place because of their inherent prejudice. “However, this does not seem to be the case with street children.” For them, “city is a complex moral, political and economic place” which they appropriate as they define a street for themselves. For them, street is not a wrong place to be (Mtonga 2011). Dufour points out that for street children, having a home goes beyond the material aspect of a roof and four walls. It includes the values of social relationships with the peer groups as solidarity of these networks allow them to survive. (Aptekar and Stoeklin 2014). They identify being on the street in relation with each other and in relation to the society.

Aptekar argues that their personal story telling capacity is extraordinary. It is a part of their survival skills that rests on their ability to manipulate their audience who can benefit them in certain ways (1990).

Listening to authentic stories, therefore, involves a joint interactive process between the researcher and the researched. This interaction is based on the ethics of caring and accountability of the subjective telling and the distress arising out of the telling. The ethics of caring is built over time through “empathetic, caring, non-judgmental, encouraging and supportive listening” (Mander not dated, p.16).

Their voice can give a range of invaluable and new insights, about their experiences, seen from their own perceptions. They might lead us to understand their coping mechanisms, the interface between the physical resources and social actors, their own aspirations and their belief on how these can be achieved (ibid.).

The present study captures the indifference endured by the street children. This indifference of the people in power (by virtue of age, resources, position or privilege) leads to an intense and indiscriminate suffering endured by street children. Here, indifference is the opposite of love and a lack of empathy (Mander 2011).

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Listening to Life Stories Listening to individual testimonies illuminates complexity of lives on the street where every child has to negotiate conflicts, deprivations and relationships. Living within contexts starkly devoid of resources and services for care of children, these testimonies give “voice to the less powerful and deeply vulnerable children and require the researcher to approach them with utmost responsibility and real respect� (Mander not dated, p. 15).

This process is challenging as children reconstruct their identity by hiding more than they tell. This is because of the adult-child divide, the lack of trust and the stigmatised identities that children do not wish to reveal. While the adult-child divide will remain and has to be negotiated with, the trust with the child is crucial to developing the story as trusted care givers can provide support even after the research process concludes. We, therefore, employ participatory research method to include the trusted caregiver in the research process.

The children are selected in consultation with the trusted caregiver. These children have spent at least one year in institutional care. Their stories are heard in the presence of an adult care giver who can support them even after the telling, as evoking traumatic memories can lead to distress. This is an ethical decision as empathy goes beyond acknowledging the suffering. It lies in the responsible listening and supporting the child in distress.

The children in this study have lived in a constellation of relationships and spaces on the streets. The way they think about their life now could be different from what happened with them then. Their stories are reconstructions of the past events, crucial to their lives. Their telling is mediated through the relationship and interaction between the researcher and the researched. They unfold the vicissitudes of life that can be understood through an intimate relationship between the researcher and the researched. Even when different children undergo similar experiences, they elicit (present?) various narratives unique to them. Children reveal these significant events in the form of foreshadowing and flash backs rather than a chronological sequence of events (Polkinghorne 1988).

We realise that the sharing of their story leads to multiple telling- stories change over a period of time depending upon the level of trust, the ability to empathise with their fractured identities, the time spent together and the spaces visited together.

While relationship with the care-giver is crucial to develop trust and empathy, visiting the spaces where the child spent her childhood is important to reconstruct the past. Visiting the childhood spaces together allows the researcher and participant to be there, to recollect and to understand what it means to experience poverty, loneliness, deprivation, neglect, denial and abuse. There, one can understand the processes and mechanisms of coping.

These considerations form the basis for selection of methods of research, purposive sample and collection of data.

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Chapter

2

Detailing participants and processes

The participants (between ages 11-22 years) are selected after a discussion with the home staff. The criteria kept under consideration are, children who: a. b. c. d. e.

have divorced their homes (are runaways) have been abandoned have a continued relationship with home children in any of the above three categories who have also stayed in different kinds of shelter homes children among these who have engaged in different kinds of jobs (rag picking, drug peddling, pick pocketing, domestic help etc.)

Age of the children Childhoods are experienced immediately and as an afterthought, depending upon the age of the participant and the negotiation with the identity of the child. Research shows that “life story work enables a child to understand what has happened, when and where they have lived, who has cared for them, and, most important, the decisions that have impacted their lives� (Rose and Philpot 2005, p.9). Though difficult to cope and reconcile with, the past experiences are negotiated as a part of one’s identity. Their meaning keeps changing as one grows older; therefore, this study includes children between ages 9-22 years.

At the age of 10 years, children actively start exploring ways in which they can fit into society. At one level, they start thinking who they are and at the other, how people think of them in a societal frame of reference. They verbalise their explorations coherently. The upper limit of 18-22 years was taken as these children (young adults) are striving to resolve their traumatic past and seeking satisfying personal relationships. This way, the definition of children in the life stories project includes children up to 22 years.

Gender The purposive sample consists of 19 girls and 16 boys in five cities namely, Delhi, Patna, Kolkata, Ranchi and Hyderabad.

The Sites The five urban cities have been chosen because the partner organisations work in these cities and they have a fair degree of relationship with the children in these cities even for participants who have moved out of the residential set up. This was important as the aftertelling of stories was as important as telling the stories. A mutual level of trust between the researcher, care-giver and the child was important for the well-being of the child.

Ten children from two other organisations apart from the principal organisation conducting 9

the interviews have also been chosen. These are urban cities in the north where Save the Children has a relationship of trust- The BalSakha (Patna) and Bharatiya Kisan Sangh (Ranchi).

The three organisations differ in the way they approach working for the street children after they reach the institution but the story is till the time they reach the organisation concerned. The childhood experiences, therefore, are similar as the streets and their surroundings were the same. This can be seen in the stories in Patna where children reached either of the two organisations or one of them. That also brings forth the crucial point that children keenly look at the exit points and choose to go where they feel they will benefit from the services.

The landscape of the city where the children stayed has changed now. To think of what it would have been when the stories are told is through their memories and secondary data.

Their memories are evoked when they visit the same places and tell of the difference; therefore, visual narrative method is used.

Gaining Consent The research is initiated by going to the homes and sharing the project with the home coordinator, teachers and counselors. One of the home staff (counselor or teacher, depending upon the length and nature of relationship with the children) is asked to participate in the research. This is an ethical consideration.

After selecting the participants based on the purposive sampling criteria, we have a common discussion with the children and staff at home. This is to introduce the study, with a shallow cover, to all the children so that they understand why some of them are selected for telling their stories. After this process, the selected children are asked to come so (and?) we seek their consent. If they agree, we record the first interview with their permission to record their story verbatim.

The Participants The study is conducted with 35 participants in five cities over a period of eight months.

We use pseudonyms for the children to conceal their identity. The cities and areas are mentioned as it helps understand the physical space, social actors and resource availability. Children are consulted before their stories are published. Following are the number of participants:

10

Partner

City

Girls

Boys

Total

RFI

Delhi

6

4

10

RFI

Kolkata

4

RFI

Patna

3

4

7

RFI

Hyderabad

2

2

4

BKS

Ranchi

4

1

5

BalSakha

Patna

5

5

16

35

Grand Total

19

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The Processes We transcribe these stories. We read them closely to see what the children talk (share?) and what they do not want to talk about. We can then gradually work on these gaps.

After reading these initial stories, we go through their official stories documented in their files. This may show that: 1. Stories in the official documents are mostly different from those they tell.

2. Children who do not want to tell about their past have exactly same stories mentioned in the official documents and those narrated to us.

3. Children who have different stories in the documents and in the interview have reconstructed their identity and therefore, the difference.

In either case, we need deeper engagement with the children to build trust to reconstruct their childhood memories.

Interviews with children, adult care givers (wherever possible) and visual narrative method is used for eliciting stories with them. Visiting spaces they inhabited helps them remember the events. They are asked to take photographs and talk about it later. The method is nonintrusive and elicits important experiences. For instance, a participant revealed how he would run into some houses after committing petty thefts in order to hide from the police, when he reached the site.

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Chapter

3

Stories Unfolded- the context and text

Life Stories Life stories are heard as narratives as they perform two tasks- the performative and the critical. The performative task “forms and transforms the lives of subjects through a recollection and interpretation of memories of suffering.” It is critical in “so far as these memories call into question the prevailing socio-political structures” (Giroux 2005, p.98).

Since the research focuses on children, we take care to listen to the story from their perspective.

We let the child narrate her/his own story and tell the significant events of her/his life. Where needed, we interview the parent/guardian with the child so that s/he can recollect memories.

Though their experience of critical events does not change, this helps the child in reconstructing the connection between the past events.

Delhi The children in Delhi are from three institutional care homes located in south and north districts.

These are residential care, open and voluntary, comprehensive care, rights based, family oriented, participatory, long term homes for children.

Of the ten children, four were brought to residential care by the police and the rest were mobilised by the field workers.

Education Of the ten stories in Delhi, eight received informal and formal education before coming to the institution. The informal education was provided by individuals or volunteers from nongovernment organisations and government schools. Most of them did not attend school regularly as they contributed to family income. Only one of them took tuitions and went to school. Parents considered enrolling their children to school but they struggled hard to cope with school. Children say that school is a space to spend time with friends, place for taking rest and running away from all work.

Health It is rather strange to note that when asked about their illness, the children said, they did not remember if they ever fell ill. For them cough, cold, fever is not illness as they have to work for a living. They recall jaundice as a disease and tuberculosis as an illness.

They say they take drugs to kill hunger or pain arising out of their living conditions. They are led into this by their own friends. In some cases, however, they restrain from taking drugs as they want to work hard and earn money.

Their day is longer than the usual day of a child in middle class families. They usually sleep at 12:00 am and wake up by 4:00 am for their work. For girls, even these four hours of sleep is not sound as keeping half-awake keeps them protected. Boys sleep in groups and find places 12

to hide and sleep in order to protect themselves. Both the boys and girls say they avoid coming near the perpetrator but cannot help in situations where their own parents do not support them.

Five stories reveal that they depend on quacks, ojhas and government hospitals for medicines.

Allopathic medicine is, sometimes, considered as the last resort and risky as the chances of healing become remote. This is revealed in two stories.

Nutrition The children share that they usually have money to spend on food. Many of them do not cook their own food but manage at least two meals a day. For children without families, working in lieu of food is more prevalent. They share that they scrounge for food in trash.

Employment Majority of the girls are engaged in rag picking as that ensures a place to sleep and a plate of food. The boys are engaged in rag picking as well as in petty thefts, in tea stalls and daily labour. Working in tea stalls gets them food and they do other jobs for money. Boys tell that they run away from home to earn money and do not go back unless they have some money with them.

Relations- Family, Friends and Networks Families of these children are unlike the normative middle class family where “children are domiciled at home, are dependent upon their parents for necessities, and who are nurtured at school and at home, to succeed as adults� (Aptekar and Stoeklin 2014, p.21). Many of them lack a nurturing parent or guardian. For those who are parentless, they find family in friends and relatives who can support them. Many children decide what part of their identity they wish to reveal in their network of relations as some relations are for forgetting their identity, some for finding jobs and some for finding space to live.

Children also tell that they do not want to leave their families even if they face abuse; that it is very hard to think of living without a father and mother but as an after-thought, they do not want to go back to their family that cannot protect them from abuse.

Delhi - Girls Story 1: Braving Childhood All Alone Rosy is a 22 year-old chef working at an upscale restaurant in south Delhi today. Those who meet her today cannot imagine the abandonment and loneliness she has faced. Born to an Assamese family in a south Delhi slum, her parents died when she was about four. When they were alive, she did not have to care for food and shelter. She lived in a shanty with her two brothers and a sister. Death of her parents and her sister’s suicide a month later made things extremely difficult for her. At 10, she realised no one wanted her. Her own brother and maternal aunt told her to lead her own life. She came alone to Delhi and earned a space to live. She endured the stench and filth of dustbins to fill her sack with garbage so that she could get a plate of food and space to sleep at night. Her friends found her an opportunity to get educated and rebuild her life with the help of NGOs. She wants us to listen to her story as she 13

says she has done nothing wrong. Others had wronged her not because of herself but because “men are double- faced. They keep a good face in the company of other people and have another face where no one else can see them” (Rosy in her interview)”

Rosy tells her Story My father used to beg. He was a baba at the dargah. Then he became addicted to something and he left my mother too. So my mother had to work in others houses for three years to raise us. When he came back, he became very sick after some time. Then he died. We were two brothers and two sisters. My mother fell sick after my father’s death. She suffered tuberculosis.

She did not know what her ailment was; she gradually weakened and died.

After her death, my sister married a boy she did not want to. A few days after marriage, my sister-in-law said something odd to her and she committed suicide.

Who did you stay with?

My brother and sister-in-law.

What did the brother do?

Stealing etc.

And sister-in-law?

She stayed at home.

To take care of you?

No, she did not take care of us. She would not give us food. Bhaiya would beat her sometimes, for this reason.

Then he left her and went away. Then, neither of them took care of us. Then my maternal aunt took my brother but did not take me, so I stayed in Delhi.

After all my family died, my brother started taking drugs. Now I had no one- myself and my younger brother. My maternal aunt took him away and she did not take me (to Assam). She took me as well, gave me thirty rupees and sat me in a train with someone and told him to take me back to Delhi.

Who was there in Delhi?

No one. Then I came to Delhi. I stayed with someone and started picking garbage. All alone!

I was eight years old.

How did you reach Delhi at such a young age?

I reached New Delhi first. There, I told the bus conductor (where I had to go). He told me which bus to board. I knew no one there. I got a place to sleep in lieu of picking garbage for the owner of that place.

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Photo: Garbage bin where Rosy picked garbage

I started staying with an aunt in the neighbourhood- myself and another girl. We started staying together. They would wake us up at four and send us to pick garbage. Even she had no one. Her father was a drug addict and her mother had left her. So they kept both of us. We picked garbage through the day and came back at 11 pm. We gave them garbage and they gave us food. We would be there only.

It was very difficult on the street. We were twelve years old. We used to pick garbage and the men used to look at us with lust. They were lecherous. We wanted to be away from the men who looked at us with lust and the shopkeepers who beat us. But where could we go? We had to stay in their home. We had to pick garbage.

One boy among us was smart. He told the NGO people. He told me to study. He gave me support. So when we went to the colony we saw the NGO people. They taught and talked to the children. They asked me if I wanted to study. Then we told them everything in detail. They asked me if I wanted to study. I said yes. They kept me in an NGO near India Gate. Then they sent me to Chandigarh.

I was young and those people taught me sewing. I really wanted to study but they did not teach; so I ran away from there. I came to Chandigarh bus stand. I told them my mummy and papa is in Delhi. The bus conductor brought me back for free. Then I came back to the same place. The NGO people asked me what had happened. At that time another NGO was making a documentary so, I joined there.

They selected me. I made the movie there and a volunteer talked to NGO people to put me in a home. They talked to another NGO and I went there.

It was nice there. I started taking tuitions. I knew nothing. We were fifteen children there.

Someone came to cook breakfast for us. We cooked dinner ourselves. We had divided workone washed utensils, one cooked vegetables, one made rotis etc. I got admission in a school.

Then I was shifted to an English Medium School.

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Seeing me study there for two years, my mausi came there. She is in Mongolpuri. She took me home. She was good to me for a month. Then I wanted to go back but the NGO would not keep me. They don’t keep you if you have parents etc. I told this to my mausi and she was put off.

She started beating me, abusing me and sent me to work. Suddenly her sons started beating me too.

Those moments were horrible. You know what they did with me there? It was too much. I realised when I came here. Then they called my brother and I was operated upon. It was too much, he even fell at their feet to get me married to him but they did not agree. Bhaiya cried a lot but they were greedy as their son had passed 12th standard. They said their son would get a vehicle etc. in dowry for his marriage.

Then I went to volunteer from the NGO where I worked before. I told him everything. Then he looked for a place for me. Till then I went back to mausi. I started working as a staff secretary for a salary of Rs. 2000. When I got money in time it was alright otherwise she (mausi) would thrash me.

Story 2: Divorcing the Home: forced by circumstance, tied with affection Khushboo is a 10 year old girl. She is very expressive and cheerful. She stays in the home with her two sisters. She is here because a didi (volunteer) registered a complaint of sexual abuse against the man who claimed to be a friendly uncle. She expressed her ordeal to her mother many times before but it was left unaddressed. She poured herself out when it became unbearable, when she felt she could talk to her didi who fulfilled all her demands, be it admissions, getting new sweater, tuitions. This didi had given her a new name as the previous name sounded odd. Even after two years, she says, these memories haunt her went she is free.

Therefore, she keeps herself very busy. Her mother asks her to come back but she has lost faith in her. She often goes to meet her father on the street as he raised her with love and values her.

Khushboo tells her Story That place was not nice. There was a man who did all these dirty things (gandi-gandibaatein) with us. There was a didi. She was in an organisation. She took our tuitions. We told her that this man did all this with us.

I had started studying at an NGO. That didi got me admitted to school as well. I was always playing at school. Ma’am never said anything to me. When she gave me sums, I would sleep.

Sometimes I felt like studying and showed her my work.

We do not have a house. We live on the street. Papa has a cigarette shop. Mummy has a frame shop. She keeps things like necklace, earrings inside the frame. We are four sisters and one brother.

What did you do before coming here?

We picked garbage. Papa stayed at one place. Mummy used to go somewhere. We helped at papas shop. We sat at his shop when he would sleep- me and my brother. We ate tobacco.

We hid it from papa and ate it. We sat at his shop and ate it. We took something or the other-

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cigarette, tobacco etc. Then we went to our secret park to an unused staircase…we smoked cigarettes there.

We stayed away from the other people who were drug addicts and had solution etc. Our shop was a little away and we slept there under the open sky. One day as my brother was playing a game didi came up to him and asked him about our house, family, parents name etc. Then she asked us what we want. We said we want to study but cannot do so. She said she would help us. Then she took us to a place where she taught children. We sat there. Many children came.

She brought sweaters in a car for us…she asked us to come the next day...she started teaching us. Then she admitted us to school.

Didi told ma’am of my problem. Ma’am said, “We will keep her well. Send her daily.”

Then papa woke me up at 4:00 am as he too had to open his shop. I mean, I took a bath sometimes and sometimes not. I showed you the pond in the park. I took a bath there. Then I used to get ready and go to school. I used to take a bath sometimes and on some days, I used to go without taking a bath. Then, ma’am used to bathe me at school.

Photo: Pond in the Park where Khushboo took a bath

I used to reach late for prayers…The latecomers stood in punishment…When I tried to slip out she asked me to keep standing. She never scolded me but said that I should come in time. Then I started coming early.

How did you do that?

I used to come walking first. Then I started running to school…(Now) I started coming in time even before the bell rang.

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I was lonesome at lunch.

Did the children call you?

Yes the children called me. I never went to them. I kept sitting.

After school I went for tuition with didi. I would come back home and take off my uniform. Papa would keep it. Papa got us food. We would eat and go for tuition…I was there till 5:00 pm.

Then didi said I will open an account for all of you. She said we can save money with her. We could take out money anytime from there. And we could put money in it too. Then whatever money I got from my father, I would give it to didi to save.

Papa never saw me studying. He scolded me sometimes due to this. Then he used to bring a newspaper and ask me to read it. He used to read newspaper every day and he used to offer prayers before opening his shop.

When did you go to pick garbage?

My mother would call me when I came back from tuition. She told me to pick garbage. I went in a different direction from that of my mother. I went with my friend. We used to come back very late and my father would scold me. Mummy sold the garbage and when we asked her for money, she would say, “I have spent it all.”

That place was not nice. There was a man who did all these dirty things (gandi-gandibaatein) with us…I remember it was raining hard once and that uncle had a shelter so we went and sat there.

Your parents wanted to save you from rain so they sent you to that man?

No. I was standing at the bus stand. That uncle came and said why don’t you go and sit there.

You will get wet. So I said, “Ok” and I went and sat there. We worked with him. And we ate with him sometimes.

That day it was raining hard. I had gone for tuitions. I mean there were not many children that day as it was raining. When I went there, didi said, “You have become so wet!”

I sat in a corner and started crying. She came and asked me. I told her everything…She said, “Why didn’t you tell me before?” I said, “I was scared of that man and felt he would beat me if I tell you.” She said, “No one can touch you. No one will beat you.” I said, “OK didi.”

I took her to him. He talked very rudely to her. She scolded him and warned him that she would call the police. He said, “I am not scared of the police. You go and tell the police.”

A few days later, didi said, “I will take you out.” I didn’t know she was taking me to the police station. I asked her where she was taking me. She said, “I am taking you out.”

Would you not go if she had told you?

Yes, because who feels like leaving their mother and father? So, we went to the police station.

Then she talked to the police.

The police called him and he denied the charge. He said that I was lying. They asked me and 18

I admitted. They called my mother. They didn’t call my father. Mummy said, “This uncle is good.

My children are lying. Don’t listen to them.” She said he was their uncle and he cannot do so.

Then she told me not to blame him for he took care of us. Then I said nothing. Then didi told her not to scold me. Then the police put him in jail.

Then you went to the court?

Yes. Didi took me to the hospital after taking me to the station. They did my check-up. They wanted to see if there was an after effect of what happened with me. Then didi gave me food and brought me home at about 2:00 pm at night.

Who do you think is responsible for all this?

Mummy. She said, “He is your uncle. He is very good. You should go and talk to him.” I said ok.

Then, we went to his shop every day.

It was not papa’s fault. Mummy had come. Mummy had come to get him released. We had gone to the court. Mummy had come to get him released. She was saying, “Get him released.

It is not his fault.” To the police, she said, “My daughter is lying. He is a good man. Let him go.”

But they did not set him free.

Story 3: Torture of a nowhere childhood Rinki’s childhood was a nowhere childhood as she was locked away as a domestic help to do hours of physically demanding work. Now she feels nice to welcome everyone to the residential home. She is always there to help her elders. She waits for the police uncle who jailed her employers for torturing her. She wears a friendship band that he gifted her when they went to Rajasthan to her mausi to inquire about her involvement in the case. She thinks her employers are still in jail for all they have done to her.

Rinki tells her Story I remember mummy reared us for a few days then she started drinking. She left us on the road.

Where did you stay?

Gurgaon.

And papa?

Papa left us but mummy never stayed with papa. Mummy asked him, “Why don’t you keep me with you?” Papa said, “I want to. But you run away to others.” Mummy didn’t stay with him. She stayed on the street. Papa made a house for her but she did not stay.

How many siblings were you?

One older sister and one brother. I was the youngest.

They admitted me to school and took me out. Mummy was fine but she was ruined due to many men. When she was fine, all five of us stayed happily.

Mummy did dirty things (gandekaam).

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How do you know?

My sister and I saw her. My sister said to me, “I will show you what our mother does.” I did not like it because I don’t like such things.

She was addicted to drugs as well. She would bring the brother and sister to sleep on the street at night. After that three of us got her home. After a few days, I got my aunt’s number. My sister got it. Then she called her. She asked her to take me away as mummy was not able to keep us.

Was your aunt ok?

No, she was not. She was poor and she sent me to work at someone’s place.

What work?

Sweeping and mopping. They never gave me food. Then didi got me medication for one month and two didis followed me to ensure I took the medicine.

Where did you work?

Those people were known to my aunt. She told them that they should not give me food, unless I worked. If I asked for food,they forcibly fed me tobacco.

What all did you do?

Sweeping, mopping and they would go naked and ask me to massage them.

Both of them?

Yes. How old were you?

Ten years.

How old were they?

They were very old. Their son had died and they had abducted another boy who they called as their own.

Ok. He too stayed at home and they made you work?

They made me sleep in the latrine.

Ok. Then what happened?

Then they hit me hard. They burst my eye. I can’t see from this eye.

They hit you?

They hit me.

Why? I said I don’t get enough food to fill my stomach so let me go from here. They would not leave me. I said I would run away and get the police. They said, “There is no need to threaten us.”

Then what happened?

Then I ran away at night.

20

Where did you go?

There was a road- an alley, I ran there. They burnt my hands and feet. I was bleeding. Then I hid under a tea stall.

Then?

Then that uncle fed me. I was very hungry. Then he called up 100. Then the police came and saw my bleeding feet. I got unconscious. Then they took me to the hospital for one night. They brought me to the police station during the day and asked me many things. They asked me about their home. I told them a little bit. I told them everything on the third day- how they beat me. I took them to show their home. The next day they went into their house- the police. They said, “We did not do anything of this sort.” The police had guessed looking at my eye, hands and feet that they did. Police beat them and then they told the truth.

In front of you?

Yes. Then?

Then nothing happened. They left me. They were sent to jail.

Police uncle took me along. He asked me to tell my aunt’s address. Then we went there. It took one night to reach there. I felt hungry so we stopped at Balaji and we had dinner. We started again at 8:00 am.

We reached Mahua in Rajasthan. We asked the police if the village I said existed. They said it did. They called mausi to the police station. She lied. She lied that she did not send me. Uncle said, “How did this girl reach there? She is too young to know she has to go to work.” They kept on asking her till she told. Then she said, “Leave this girl to me.” They said, “We cannot leave her with you. What if you kill her after we are gone?” Then they left me here.

Had I been there till now, I would have died. I thought this in my mind and ran away.

Story 4: Stifling Existence within Four Walls Yasmine is a frail young girl who expresses her emotions through the way she uses language.

She tends to repeat words to express her pain, anger, helplessness. She says, “I started thinking slowly, slowly, slowly that papa has gone, has gone.” and “I ran away from home and walked, walked, walked.” I have retained this repetition as it highlights what she feels. She narrates events vividly and gives insights into a life of a girl who struggles to understand why she suffers for no reason. Her suffering gives her the grit to decide on her own. Her mother supports her decisions. This is why she wants to alleviate her mother’s suffering. She told this story after her father died. Till then it was held close to her as she felt ashamed. Now, after his death, she says she feels free to go to meet her mother.

Yasmine tells her Story I was seven when I came and now I am seventeen. I was very young when papa left us and went away. Mummy sent us to school then. Then papa came one day. He beat me a lot. Then mummy sent me to the village.

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Where?

In Bangladesh.

Where?

I don’t remember the district. When I came back home mummy and papa used to run a small roadside hotel (dhaba).

You were very young?

(Nods) Mummy used to work at home. When papa left work, mummy started this dhaba. When papa came, he joined her. The dhaba was covered with a shade. There was space. Papa had a bad habit. He used to drink, beat my mother and destroy everything. Mummy put up the dhaba every day and papa vandalised it. Then mummy shut it down altogether.

One teacher got me enrolled in an MCD school and I started going there.

Who was this teacher?

The one in the moving bus. I got good results and they put me in class five.

One day papa beat me and shunted me out of the house. Papa was drinking. Salim’s mother was also present. Mummy drove me away from there. Then I went to nani’s house. I lost my mirth due to this. I was scared of my father. I went back (after a few days) and things were over and we went to Sai Baba Mandir. We did not have anything then- food etc. I never said anything.

One day the slum cluster caught fire.

Then one day, I saw uncle and went to him. He told me there is a home where children stay and study. I wanted to go but my father refused. I was very adamant and mummy also wanted me to go.

Did papa come here?

Yes, he came here once. He once he took my sister for begging. He made her sleep under the flyover and mummy objected. He started beating my mother. I tried to save her. He beat her even more. I lost all contact with my father after coming here. I didn’t talk to him. Mummy used to ask me to talk to him but I didn’t. She said he has pain in his chest. I told her to get him medicines. I don’t know how he died.

I told you of the personal problem that I had with my father. When this used to happened to me, I started thinking slowly, slowly, slowly that papa has gone, has gone. But when he came in front of me and started behaving like this then the relation between a father-daughter was over. I mean it was nothing like he was my father or he considered me as his daughter. When I was young, I felt he was not my father, that he was someone else staying in my house- beating, thrashing. I never felt he has considered me his daughter. I used to get very angry at him. When young, I wouldn’t have any control over my feelings and my face showed it. In that frustration, he might not have ever liked me.

I mean, when I grew up a little, I used to curse myself. I mean, it is a sin to be born a girl in a good family. I mean, it is a problem if you go out and it is a problem if you are in. They see girls with very different eyes. I felt I was a burden on everyone. I am a burden for my mother. For 22

papa I felt, my presence pricked him. Why was I born a girl? I used to pray to Allah- “Why did you bring me into this world when you had to show me all this?” I kept repeating this and I kept harming myself and something or the other used to happen. I mean, when I came back from the village at Nizamuddin my father started beating me. I don’t know what the problem was!

I haven’t been able to unravel it till now. I never could understand. So I would say one thing to my mother, “Why does papa beat me so much- while coming, while leaving?” I mean he would come and beat me, I mean. He would go, “Where is she? What are you doing there? Why are you not here? Why are you not sitting here?”

I was scared of him so I always did as he said. I sat where he asked me to. I never went where he told me not to. I always caught his attention. Mummy, in front of mummy, I was very naughtyplayful and full of mirth. I mean, I felt as if there is no problem in my life. When papa was not there, it never occurred to me that there is any problem- that I have such a kind of life. I played a lot- on the cycle, the whole day and loitered around with boys. I had a lot of friends. When papa came, I would be inside. I wondered, “Do I have such a life?” I mean, I would have two starkly different lives.

How did you keep yourself strong?

Just like that. My father had insulted me too much in front of others. I mean in my neighbourhood.

No one knew what it was all about but I was insulted so much that I ran away from home twice. I ran once. I ran at 12:00 pm at night. I ran away from home and walked, walked, walked. I was afraid of the dark. So I went till the temple and I don’t know what happened, I remembered my mother and came back. I slept in an auto near the house. I was not going inside the house.

I mean my father would beat me again, something will happen again. My mummy was looking for me. I did not tell anyone. I thought of going home. That night I thought, I will sleep outsidecome what may.

Then, mummy too! She was very angry. So much is happening in the house. There is so much commotion. I mean, I am being beaten and so much is happening with me at such a young age.

So she got angry as she couldn’t find me. When she came to know I was sleeping in an auto she woke me up. Then she beat me up so much, too much. When I entered the house, my father beat me too. I was scared so much at every step that one day, I mean, there was a bhaiya who I knew.

He used to see me get beaten so often. He called me and said, “If it is so, why don’t you come with me?” He used to ride a rickshaw. I said yes to him. Then I thought through the night, “If I go out like this, then I will have a worse life.” He gave me time to think for a day. I don’t know what happened to me I refused to go with him. I told him to keep away from me. “I won’t go with you.” Then he said something to my mother but my mother said my daughter cannot do that. I think he talked of getting me married to his brother. She refused. She said, “My daughter is very young and she will study.” I don’t know where he came from.

The other day, it was ramzan, I was on fast and papa came drunk. He had vandalised the dhaba and come but I did not break my fast in anger. I mean it was 10:00 pm. Mummy was asking me to break the fast and I wasn’t. Mummy said this repeatedly, but I did not pay heed.

There were many medicines lying in my house. I collected them all and ate them. Just like thatto die. There were other things with it- metal coils and threads entangled with the medicines. I mean, I had it just like that. I took a lot of water and had it. Then at midnight, my throat felt like 23

I will neither live nor die. It was stuck in the middle. I was talking to mummy, I was having water and it was not going inside. I couldn’t do anything. Then I asked mummy to get me coconut water.

I felt something would happen to me. Then I gradually became alright. Then I fell sick for 1 ½ months. I mean, I lost hope. Once, I slit my wrist as well. Papa beat me for that.

What was this insult in front of the neighbours?

I was not telling mummy before. But mummy saw I was becoming withdrawn slowly, slowly, slowly. I wanted to tell her. I used to urge her to leave papa. She said, “How can we do that now that he is alive?” She said she couldn’t leave him. She is conservative. Then one day she asked me why I had stopped laughing. I gathered courage to tell her what happened. She asked him and then it became worse.

What did he say?

That day I fell in my own eyes. I mean he was getting me inspected to prove if he did so.

Who? My father said to my mother that she should check me. He disrobed me. He said, “Go! Take her to the hospital right now.” He asked her to inspect my body in front of everyone, abused mehurling abuses that no father can, at his daughter; all that in front of everyone. He dragged me along. I did not go inside in the evening. I was scared of him. Mummy had gone to the temple at 5:00 pm to get something to eat and I was waiting outside. So he said, “Why don’t you come inside?” I said, “I am waiting for mother.” I mean, I said so, so he doesn’t feel it is because of him. Mummy was late and I waited for her. Then papa took out his wheelchair and said, “You are your mother’s darling! Come.” I did not obey. He grabbed my hair, dragged me along and hit my collar bone on the arm of his wheelchair. It got fractured. He dragged me far. He dragged me like that- sometimes even holding my neck. My mother saw from afar and came running to save me. I mean that was a lonely road and there was no one there at that time.

Mummy started fighting with him. He started beating her too and she brought me home. He came after us cursing us.

So mummy used to go to earn bread every day and he used to do this in her absence?

Mummy was not there but when mummy was there, like at night, he would trouble me. Then I used to sleep at one corner- extreme corner. Then I used to get up to have water. I used to save myself like that.

How did your mother save you?

Mummy used to sleep next to papa. When he did not go out, she tried to stay in as well. She used to restrict me to certain times of the day. Like, come to me at 12:00, 1:00 and 4:00 in the morning- the main timings. When there was no one at home.

How? Like in the morning, people go out to work. At 12:00 noon, when everyone goes inside, she called me at that time. She sat at one place and kept me with her and sent me later. I slept with mummy and she would be half awake. When she felt I was awake and when she saw papa was awake, she would wake up too. He would pretend to be thirsty. Then he would come to pamper 24

me. Even then I would be awake at night.

Our slum cluster got burned down.

You saw that?

Yes. There were huge flames.

How big would that colony be?

We had 39 handicapped people. And if you take extra- they were may be 60. So there would be sixty houses in a line. And we were in the middle. It caught fire at one end and there were cylinders in between. The people that side were better off financially. The fire started from there. There were many cylinders there. The flames were so huge it felt like some factory had caught fire. You could see very tall flames- tall as the eucalyptus tree. Then that fire came up to our house as well. I mean they were trying to put it out but it wasn’t. We didn’t understand where to go- ahead or behind? There were splinters. There were bushes there. So we secured our rickshaws and all stuff there. Then I couldn’t find my brother. We tried locating him. It had caught fire, that side, and mummy was going there repeatedly. So was I. And we hadn’t taken out any stuff from our shanty. Mummy had taken out her piggy bank and papers- our horoscopes. Mummy took out just that. And yes mummy was looking here and I was looking there. We were looking for my brother frantically. I told my mother he must be inside. She said he was not for she had already seen inside. We checked each boy to see if it was my brother.

Then I got inside the house fearing that mummy might not have checked properly. I used to think mummy is dull, that she wouldn’t have seen him even if he were there. So I went to check again.

The fire was burning and I went inside. I didn’t find him. While I was coming out, I saw a blanket rolled up. I pulled the blanket and felt there was something heavy inside. He was inside the blanket. He was sleeping inside. He felt the fire was burning and it would be put out soon. He thought it would not reach us. I brought him out and my mother shouted at me. She scolded me saying what if something had happened to me. I said, “Nothing will happen to me. Brother was important. I was tensed for my brother.”

So it all got burnt down?

Yes, all of it. Only a small portion of the house remained. The main portion and belongings got burnt down.

What do you mean?

All blankets, clothes. Only two things were saved. We couldn’t save our books. I couldn’t go to school after that. We couldn’t go after that.

Where did you stay then?

Then, when that side got burnt, there was a park this side. There was a park near Nehru Stadium. Now it has changed. Then they put up tents there.

How many days did you stay there?

For two days that the slum had burnt down. All people were fighting- what will happen in so less money? Where will we buy stuff for home? Some people were trying to rebuild from burnt material.

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How is that?

Like they took burnt planks, bamboo and tried to fix it like a pole so it settles like a room. Papa was making it like that too.

So they were picking up bamboo from where they could?

Yes. So we slept under the open sky for a day. We had our tent and we were sleeping. Papa started making the house.

I didn’t have to go inside the house now. Every one slept under the open sky. So there was nothing like that. Nothing could happen.

Yes, anything can happen in a four- walled house. Now will papa beat me or build the house?

He would see to this and that and he was a leader there.

Then, one room was ready and we started sleeping there. That time uncle came. Then our house was built. But I did not go to school. Half of our side was burnt down. The other side- it burnt down entirely. So he saw everything. Then I was playing and he called me.

They sent the boys to the home first and I went many days later. 3-4 months later.

How did you join the home?

Uncle came and he told about the home. I told mother. Mummy knew I loved to study so she allowed me to go but papa did not agree.

What did he say?

He said there was no need to do so. “What will you do in the home? Stay here.” Papa was not ready to send me. I had to go.

How many days did you not eat?

Three- four…Mummy used to tell him that I was not eating. I was adamant to go. Every time my mother used to say, “Let her go. She is not even eating.”

Mummy was trying to help you?

Yes. She would bring the food when he was around and I would not eat. Then, one day, he started forcing it down my throat. I mean he sat me down and told me to eat. He was threatening me. I said, “Ok, I will eat,” and sat away from him to eat. I took few grains of rice, spread it on the plate, washed my face and came. Papa saw I was ready to be thrashed but not eat. He must have felt he should get rid of the problem so he allowed me to go. And I was only waiting for his yes.

And your sister?

I got her along. She always stayed with me. She would not stay without me so I thought it would be good, if she came along.

Story 5: Telling as Healing Telling the story for Shabnam was a healing process. Her first interview was difficult as she could not hold her tears. This interview brought forth questions that she wouldn’t have been 26

able to clarify, therefore, we met her mausi. The interview with her mausi in her presence clarified many unanswered details. It answered many doubts that Shabnam had about her own father, her mother’s death and ordeals when she was alive. Although she was very young, she remembers crucial events like her mother’s angst when she remarried, her mother’s death and her father’s absence.

Shabnam tells her Story Papa abandoned us. Mamma told us. Papa is alive but he left us. I had an elder sister too. I have a brother too. He is younger than me. I was in the lap. When papa left us, we came to Delhi. There was no place in Delhi. All the people here said it would be difficult; so my mother married a second time. Everyone forced her to do so.

I did not understand. You had an elder sister?

I had an elder sister. My father left her somewhere.

What for?

Even we do not know. He said I am taking her out. He took her out somewhere and left her there. My nani saw her in Assam when she went there.

What do you remember of your mother?

My mother died in front of me. One thing really hurt me (tears well up in her eyes). When she went to the village, people said very negative things about her because she remarried. She never said anything and kept pondering. She remained gloomy.

How old were you?

I was big.

What did your mother do?

She picked garbage.

Before that?

She was a housewife before that- in the village and in the city. Then she came to Delhi and worked in quarters and rented a room.

Where did you stay then?

I stayed in the rented slum, where you get a room, in exchange for picking garbage. She started staying in the storage. Then everyone told her it will be difficult to stay like that. They forced her to remarry. When she went to the village, the situation worsened. She never shared anything with us. She kept brooding over it.

The other papa was ok?

He is ok but he doesn’t stay with us.

He has remarried?

Yes. He stays with them. He doesn’t consider us as his. He has two other children. I haven’t seen them as well. He stays in a hotel. He works there.

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How old were you?

I was 8-9 years old. Mummy was not well. She had gone to my grandmother’s house after the birth of my sister. A dog bit her there. He bit her many times over. My sister had turned one month. People said the poison had spread. Then she suffered from jaundice. She had medicines with warm water on empty stomach. Then she had a problem. I used to care for her. When I came back from the hospital after meeting her, I was told she was dead…Then nani stayed with us. She picked garbage.

Nani picked garbage to keep the accommodation?

Yes. Because people said if you do not do this, you will have to leave.

When you picked rags and mummy used to work as a house maid, did you go with her?

I used to go to school. I accompanied her during my holidays. I went to a government school when we were in Nizamuddin… I studied there but could not understand.

Wasn’t papa there when mummy passed away?

He was not there that day. Brother made many frantic calls but he did not pick up. Then we kept the dead body for one full day. Then we cremated it after one day. Papa came after one full week.

What class were you in?

8 years. I was to go to class 4. Papa is such that he is never there. The reason is that he has another family. Before this, my mother had put us in a home. My aunt brought us here. Then we were with aunt- at the Sai Mandir. Then we saw bhaiya there. He was writing names of some children. I was thinking in my head that I should go to a home. My mother wanted so too.

And Amna?

That time Amna was with my aunt.

Which school do you go to now?

I wanted to learn English since I was young. I knew how to say money. When foreigners used to come there, we used to do money, money. So I learnt how to say money.

My brother stayed with my aunt. He didn’t feel like studying. He left every job he was offered.

How old is he?

Two years older than me.

He was 11 when you were 9? What did he do?

Pick garbage. Papa used to tell him to work in the hotel. My papa used to get work done from him before.

Did he study as well?

Bhaiya did not study. He did not want to be a burden. His friends circle was not good. He went to steal with his friends. One of his friends snatched the police gun in a scuffle and he went to jail.

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When?

One year before.

He is fond of Amna?

He is fond of me too. When Amna goes home, papa does not come to meet her so I make her talk to him so that she feels there is someone for us.

After talking to her aunt (mausi) in her presence, she realised that her mother was married at a very young age while she was in Assam. She was tortured by her first husband who kept her locked, beat her and abused her till one day when she decided to run away and come to Delhi to her own father. She felt her father was not well. Her father died a week before she arrived.

Her mausi got her married to an educated man who loved her and the children. He did not, however, live with them for long but for as long as he did, he cared for them. She also came to know that her mother was cured of dog bite. She died due to jaundice. Shabnam felt her mother had a loving husband and she had a loving father.

Story 6: Orphaned, Abandoned and Betrayed The lives of Priya and Payal are centered on one incident. They are still trying to make sense of their abandonment. This incident occu when they were 4 and 5 years of age. They were anxious to track their grandparents’ village. Although their memories have faded, they tried to recall the names of their grandparents’ village. We tried to locate these villages through the child line numbers, Ghaziabad police and the Pradhan of the village we suspected could be their village.

At times, we felt we were close to locating their village but the police investigation showed that there were no such people as we named. We were unsuccessful in locating the villages but we saw Priya and Payal reconciling to their own sense of abandonment in the process.

Priya and Payal tell their Story How did the police get you here?

From the station.

How long were you in the station?

Since the morning.

What did you do after getting down the train and coming here?

The train came in the morning. Then bhaiya came. He left us at another place. We were there for 2-4 days. Then we came here.

With whom did you come in the train?

With no one.

Then they left us in the train (crying). The land was in our name. They took everything from us.

Who? Dadi and chacha

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Your uncle told you to go to Mumbai?

Yes, the older uncle did. We said that it had been some since days we had met our older sister.

A few days later we said we wanted to meet our brother. Dadi said that we would be sent to our brother. No one would go from here. The elder uncle took us to the station. Dadi said, “I will call your brother right in front of you so he will be at the station.”

Did she do that?

I don’t know.

Where is the village?

Kurawal. I said that I wanted to meet my brother, but they said he was in Mumbai. Then they said, “You get down at the station.”

Which station?

Delhi.

We were with our papa, then nani and then with dadi.

Did dada stay with you when you were in Mumbai?

No, he came to us when mummy died.

I am the youngest. We are four sisters (and a brother).

Where are the other ones?

Two are with dadi.

They were with dadi since before?

(Nods) So why does the dadi love them?

She does not love them. She makes them work. Even they do not like dadi. She was good before papa’s death but she became like this immediately after that. A lot of papers were in our name.

How do you know this?

They were with nana. They were with him and he was distributing it to us but dadi took away everything from him.

From whom?

From the house.

She came to Mumbai?

(Nods) So there…from the suitcase she took away all jewellery. It was filled with jewellery.

Did dadi stay with you for some time when she was in Mumbai?

No, we went from there the day mummy died. Dadi did not come there. She asked it from nana.

30

She said she would keep them safe.

What did papa work as?

In an office.

And mother?

She was home.

My mother died.

How? Papa had beaten mummy hard (that night) and she died in the morning.

He beat her so hard for the first time?

Yes. She was ill too.

Papa used to get angry and beat her.

Why? They used to fight and mummy used to fall ill and papa used to buy food.

And why would he get angry?

I don’t remember. Mummy’s face became swollen. We had a photo of hers. It is with mami. They say you should not see the photo of a dead person. My mami hasn’t burnt it. It is with her.

We saw our mother sleeping in the morning. We splashed water on her she didn’t wake up. Then we checked and she wasn’t breathing. Then papa came…

Then?

Then, uncle came in the morning and took her to the hospital. There they told us that mummy was dead.

Why did you go to the village?

Because papa was suffering from jaundice.

What did you do in the village?

Nana, nani, mama, mami were there. My nana was respected in the village. He was either in the police or the army. My father died in the village two days after he reached there.

You want to go back?

Not to the elder uncle, to the younger uncle. There was an uncle in the train. We gave him money and he got us something to eat. He helped us. The younger aunt gave us her number too as she knew dadi would do this to us. We lost that number.

Delhi: Boys Story 7: Running away from Poverty, in Pursuit of Dignity Raman ran away from home one day with no plan of why he was doing what he was doing.

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He blames it on a false sense of courage he got from having toddy. There is more to this truth as his story reveals. The responsibility of earning at a young age, being someone who could be thrashed to living in poverty; even after working endlessly for months together are reasons why he ran. He ran to earn money. He knew from his friends that he could earn money in Delhi.

But when he came to Delhi and earned very little, he could not go back even if he wanted to.

Only when he saw himself on TV after winning the Delhi martial arts championship, he thought he had made his name and could go back. His grandmother had locked up the 10 medals he had won in three martial arts competitions. She still thinks they are pieces of real gold that her favourite grandson had earned for her.

Raman tells his story When did you leave home?

At the age of 12.

Who all were a part of the family?

Mummy, papa, brother, sister, grandfather and grandmother and two sons from the step mother.

The step mother stayed with you?

I don’t remember anything of my mother. She washed clothes. I would come home, eat and leave my plate. I would leave my clothes. She never scolded me. I felt her (mother) absence sometimes, during the festivals. I would do things on my own and never ask for money. When I felt the need, I would go and work in the factory for a few days; laying stones and masonry.

We eat fish and meat one month before Diwali so some of us caught it and the others sold it.

Did you ever feel you got less because you were the oldest?

I wore pants for the first time in Delhi. Not that they did not wear pants in the village. I wore it for the first time here. And I saved the shirt my uncle gave during his marriage. It has become really short. I saw it this time when I went. I thought I would wear it to his wedding.

My mother died in an accident.

I was 1 ½ years old then.

She was operated upon but she did not survive. She was pregnant with a baby. Papa wanted that baby to be born but (starts crying) papa married another woman…I remember, when the new mother came, she gave me five rupees.

Papa had his own land first but he sold it later on; after mother’s death. He kept us well but he used to remain angry. He beat me.

My second mother was fine. She did not love me like her own but she loved me. I used to go to school. Papa used to beat me. He made me work too much. I was made to work in the fields.

I remember it was a grain field (starts crying). There was two months’ work there. Only during winters- imagine from here till Adhchini (about 2 kms) (starts crying) I carried a 50 kg sack on my back. I carried 50 kg when I was 12 years old. I had to work after school. I did not do much at school. When there was some work in the village during the season, he brought me from the ashram. I stayed in the ashram. I studied there but I was brought back when there was work. It 32

was privately run. I studied for 14 hours a day.

Why did you decide to leave home? Did papa not pay you attention?

He paid attention. Attention to work to get four sisters married. He had four sisters. He didn’t pay attention because I think he had a lot of work. I would come whenever there was work.

He would beat me whenever I refused. After getting beaten, I felt scared and went to watch movies on Doordarshan.

Did they charge anything?

Yes, one rupee.

He would beat me every now and then. One reason to run was that we worked so much and two to three people came from Delhi and could build their home. We worked day and night and didn’t get anything at all. We ate well. We had a buffalo and got 3 Kg milk a day. Then, I ran one day. I ran even before, but my father started crying. I started running in front of him and then we were near the train. He started crying bitterly, so I came back. He said we have no one else. Then, nothing happened for a day. He didn’t even beat me. I had come back from the farm. I was wearing the same clothes. I went to my friend’s school. I said I am leaving. I didn’t realise what I was doing. There was no such plan 2-3 days before. I got on the train and came.

Nothing happened and one day you suddenly decided to go?

There is a reason for that. We had toddy that day. Papa got me into that habit. We used to leave at six and papa used to give us some. We were sitting and having toddy. Before that, 2-3 people had run away (to the city). And they had come back. They wore good clothes. They wore a T-shirt. They were friends and to them, I said, I would leave.

So that happened. I had said. This was in my mind. Then I was getting an onion sack. Papa was with me. I had to take it half way and he had to take it for the other half. I went to relieve myself. I went aside. I saw those people drinking there. I also drank some. The morning toddy is better but the afternoon one is intoxicating. I had that and went to school. I was not thinking of leaving for Delhi. But I said so to my friend and he took me out. He took me home. Then I sat in the train. Not that I was leaving for Delhi for a month or a year but I was leaving. There were many trains to Delhi from that side. I was in school dress and that too, torn. Then I got down at No. 14 (platform at New Delhi railway station). Then I reached there and called home. I called.

I had two rupees. I had saved that for calling. I said I am in Delhi. I am here and I will work here and come back. I kept the phone saying so. I came out of the station and asked for work. They said they would give food rather than money- at the hotel.

When I reached in the evening, I went to a roadside hotel and asked him if I could wash plates.

I did that and he gave me food and I came back to the station. Then I sat down but could not understand much. Then I thought of all this and came outside…no one came to me or said anything that felt strange. I was just feeling odd. I felt a little odd but saw the other children staying there too. No one said anything. Even the police would not ask why we were there.

Then, the next day I felt hungry and went to where I had gone the first day. I said I’d wash the utensils, and asked him to give me food. He agreed. I felt I should ask for money but I did not. I wanted to work for money. This happened for two days. Then I saw young children pick 33

garbage in front of me. They were doing it quite well. I mean they had money. I knew that was a day’s money. But I could see the money. Then I thought it would be good if I had money too.

Then I met Aziz. He never told me that he had run from home too. He worked and stayed there till 2:00 am. I didn’t know where he went. His group did not stay there. Then I made friends with him and I asked him for work.

Photo: Place where Raman worked

I started working where they load parcels in the train. I loaded sacks there. And the material you load in the train is heavy too. I met him just like that. We were about 20-25 youngsters who slept and worked. I asked for work from anyone I came across. He did offer me work, so I came back to the hotel and asked him for work. From morning, it became evening. I stayed at the station for the evening. I saw people loading sacks. I saw them wearing gamcha (light towel) and thought they could be from my State. Then I asked them if they were from the village. I said I could take lesser money but I wanted work. He said it would take time. I asked him to give me anything. He took me along. We had to load pepsi etc.

Where did you sleep?

On the planks, outside the camp.

All the children worked there. Then I came to know that the caterer employed children in loading carts. I didn’t know much about him. He never gave me money. The other boys did. I earned 15 rupees per cart. We ate the food that came in parcels and was trashed. I got 15 rupees from working there and my stomach used to remain empty. So, Aziz asked me to give him my money for safekeeping. When I asked him for the money after 2 months he refused to 34

acknowledge I gave him any, in the first place. Then I thought he is like me. He has spent more days, therefore he is clever. I started staying with him. He took my money but kept me with him. I started taking drugs too. I had biri (Indian cigarette) and ate tobacco. I could manage this much in the money I had. The other children used to sniff. They did physically demanding work. I had to lift loads and I wouldn’t be able to if I took drugs. So I had biri and tobacco like other boys.

Then I started talking to a friend to get me a better job somewhere, so I could have a raise in wages. I had left my village for money. He said, “OK. I will get you a job.” I said, “What about a place to stay?” He said, “I will get that done too.” He got me to this place. He said you can stay here for free. I started living there. I saw there were other children too. I saw there was a TV. I used to go for party work. I used to tell bhaiya and go. But I did not like to clear dirty glasses and all. It is not like that in the village. We eat on dried leaf plates and trash it after eating. Not that it was dirty. We do so in the village once or twice, but here, I was ashamed of the boys. They were wearing good clothes. Then I had to clear dirty vessels in front of them.

No one can do party work. Give anyone physically demanding work they will do it, no one will do this.

Why? The hero-like boys in the village will do things in the background. He has a feeling towards the girls therefore he cannot do it in front of them. You call it ‘being a man’ or anything but I saw them and ran away. I didn’t feel good as I was 12-14 years old and I had to clear dirty glasses, plates and I could not accept it. It is shame of a different kind. I felt I am of the same age and can woo her. My friend said it was not so bad and sent me to the bathroom. I went away. Another friend came looking for me. He was looking for me but I was hiding. I came out to have food once it was all over. I felt giddy. The next day, I said, “I am not going to do this work. Give me some work in the background.” I had to hang curtains. Then they put me on setting the material. I used to pack the material and get 200 Rupees for this. I spent 50 Rupees in travel. I did that for some days. When I sat in the class, the teacher felt I should study but my mind was set to work. I asked her to teach me during the day as I had to work during the night.

Then I started watching TV and started liking it. I did not take tobacco when I was inside the home but I took it when I went out. We used to go out to work and stay at the station for some days. But I returned after a few days- to study as well as to rest. I had forgotten home by then.

That is because I could not gather money to go home. If I return to the village, I need a lot of money because they ask a lot of questions if you have run away from home like, “What did you get from where you ran to?” I will not be able to tolerate if they talk like that.

And papa used to beat you?

No, not because my father will beat me but because I did not have the money. Then, once I told bhaiya that I want to go home during Holi. He got me on the train. I met my old friend in the train in Patna. I recognized him and he tried placing me. He said, “You are Raman.” I said, “No.” He said, “You look like him.” I said, “You are mistaken.” He dismissed me. He made me agree as he was a senior and his father was in the police. Then I lied to him about myself- where I stay and study. I said I have come home to meet everyone. I lied. When we reached the station, I told him to proceed and I would follow. He went on and I remained at the station. I stayed there for two days. I did not eat as the ticket cost 200 rupees. Then, I saw the washroom. I saw at Delhi, 35

how they run away with bags. I felt like doing it. I gathered a thief’s courage and went. I thought it would have lots of money in it and all will be well. I opened it and there was nothing in it. I shut it back. It had clothes and brush etc. Then I went to the washroom and sat in the train. I went back to the home. Bhaiya asked me why I returned so soon. He said, “Your face has turned dark. Did you go home or you remained at the station?” I said I had gone home but I did not reach the village.

I told him what happened. After returning, I was determined to do something and go back. I am fine with my studies but I am weak in English. I still have trouble in studying. I used to sit in the class but couldn’t understand. Then I used to stay at the police station and learn martial arts. That day I thought, I will do my best. There was no other work there. I did it in the morning as well as in the evening. I would go on the mounds in the evenings, like a film hero and practice. I felt good there.

Then, I went to participate in a fight in Manglapuri for the first time and won. I was getting hurt at my shin while playing with him and was badly wounded. The opponent had thin bones that hurt. I did not show it to sir. I did not apply medicine. He asked me why I was limping. I said I was hurt. I showed and he said, “This is minor. You are a man. Come on.” That was the first time I saw people praised me. I was doing well. Then I started paying attention to myself- my technique, do like this, win like this- like they show in the film. And there was no other engagement there. There was a computer but I didn’t touch it, afraid I will damage it. I watched TV, ate food and practiced fighting. This went on for some time. Sir said I would do well. I went for fight two times. I got gold once and then silver. I came back and did it for some days and then came here.

Three years ago, I had come on TV when I fought in Talkatora Stadium. It went on for three days- I showed bhaiya too. I thought the village people must have seen it too. This was my excuse to go home. I had got the money too. Now I could make a home, if did not have one.

How did you feel when you went back to the village?

Not only I, but the whole village was crying when I went back. My father, they told me, left drinking absolutely after I left. His body had become weak in anxiety. He can beat me even now if he wants to. And even though he had nothing on him, he employed 150 people to find me…some people told my father I had gone astray and looted people. My father used to go, hire a van and look for me.

Does papa love you now?

Now I try and understand my father. I understand he was under stress since the very beginning.

He had a lot of strain. He had four sisters and his mother could not sit and work. My grandfather would sit among the old men and play cards. My father would do everything. I was the only one to help him lift loads but when I did not help him, he would beat me.

Once I was caught with the other boys, stealing and they put us in a remand home.

How long did they keep you?

They wanted to keep us forever. We were 8-10. We climbed on to the bathroom and came down the pipeline from the 6th floor. We were there for 2 days only. We used to fight inside.

There was no one. They did not stop even when we came here. Bhaiya used to tell us to study.

But these people started making their own house. I also put in a lot of effort but I realised that they were making it for themselves. They used to beat up thieves at the village. I have seen all that is why I don’t feel like doing it. They took me along to make the house.

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Story 8: Driven away from Drugs and Lack of Love Pranay does not meet his parents or relatives as he hates people who take drugs. His hatred for drugs saved him from this habit on the streets where most of the children were addicted to it. He wanted to lead a normal childhood but was shattered when he realised that his parents were drug users. He said he was not loved and ran away. He finds it difficult to keep relations with his own cousins and likes to lead a lonely life.

Pranay tells his Story I am from a village near Etawah. We are three brothers-one older and one younger to me. I remember everything from childhood. I used to go to school. I had a normal family life. Like all other children have. Then my work started increasing. I could not understand what was happening. Papa was a farmer in Lucknow. Our grandmother stayed with us. Now she is no more.

I had a normal life. I used to go to help papa in farming. We went to oversee it. We only went when someone had to be given something. The whole village was ours. The whole land of the village is ours. They called my father lala (the merchant). We went to give money or material to people. We distributed clothes to people. I used to concentrate on studies. I was progressing from one class to another. Then, I saw mummy having something. I asked her what it was. She said it was a medicine for stomach ache but the polythene had something in black and I always had a doubt. Then, I asked the school teacher. He told me it was opium. Then, I followed them and saw they paid 100 rupees to buy very little of it. It was opium. I told them to stop. Papa used to drink through the day. He also gave it to others who came from outside. This was happening since long. I did not understand before. My uncle used to fight with my parents for land. Uncle used to drink and aunty used to eat tobacco.

My mother kept dozing. The younger one did not do any work. The older one stayed with the paternal aunt. He washed clothes, cooked food after coming back. The paternal aunt stayed in the village. She married a boy who came to our place. She married when Mulayam Singh took out the policy that girls who marry will get money. She married late. We have a huge house.

There is a partition. We stayed on this side, and uncle and aunt stayed on that side. There was a ground in between. My parents stayed on this side and uncle aunt, on that side. Older brother stayed with my aunt, I stayed here. It was kind of divided. The younger brother with uncle, the older with aunt and I was neither here nor there.

It was very difficult to get food. And I did not know about all that. When I came to know, I felt very sad. I saw this in class five. I had failed in class five. I never failed before. I always got first position. Now there was more work at home. I couldn’t manage it and I felt why all this was happening.

Then, one day, mummy went along with the money. She left us when we were young. I stayed with papa. When she had some money she would go to her parents’ place with the younger brother. Then all the work would fall on me. And papa would beat me as there was no one else.

I did not know anything. I don’t know why she ran. She ran away when I was five. She took away papa’s money and went home. They fought often. I used to go off to sleep when they fought. I mean I used to get tired and sleep. I got up sometimes.

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Then papa used to come and so did his friends. Then they would drink and I would have to clean up everything. I had passed 7th and 8th but I was not very comfortable because my elder brother had run away again. That day, I had to get ready early for school. I had to leave early for a project at school. So, I went to the school. My aunt used to teach there. She asked me where he was. I said he would have come. Then I saw he did not. I saw both he and the younger brother had run away. I don’t know where they ran. I came home and asked and my folks said he had gone to school. I said he hadn’t. Then I asked and no one knew where he was. Then I saw my younger brother had returned in the evening. The older one did not. The younger one said he could not keep pace with him. I mean everyone accepted the younger brother’s claim. No one looked for the older one. They did not try enough to find him. They looked for him in the shop etc. Aunt looked for him. She tried hard to search for him. She spent a lot of money looking for him. Then papa started looking for him but mother was not concerned about him- that something might happen to him. I mean you can see the intention of the person. Mother-father generally care for their children but I couldn’t feel anything there. Then, I saw my father waste a lot of money- he would drink every day. He went to a soothsayer and every one, every day, people borrowed money from him. I passed class 9. Then I said, “I will go to Delhi.” I came to Delhi.

I did not get admission in class 10th. Uncle said he would teach me but my father refused. He said, “Who will take care of the house?” I started hitting him.

My mother returned after four months. They started with their old drama. They hadn’t left opium. I got tired of explaining to them. Now that I was in Delhi, I did not worry about my home.

I decided to come to Delhi, for I knew they will not be able to find me. They would only waste their money. I tried a lot. I went astray for 8-9 months. I wandered in Delhi too. Then I was sent to Muzaffarnagar. I was very young when I came to Delhi so I was sent to Muzaffarnagar.

When I came here, I slept on the platform, at old Delhi. Then a man came and asked me if I wanted to work. I said yes. Then he offered work in a hotel. He said I will earn 350 rupees there. “You will be able to do what you want.” I had 2000-3000 rupees with me. I had run away from home. So I went with them at night but they transported me while I was sleeping.

I was transferred from one house to another. Then they made me do physically demanding work; in the house and in the village. Then I used to cry a lot thinking why I left home and came and all that. They made me work very hard. I had to feed fodder to the buffalo in the village.

Then I ran away from there. I did not stay for more than 5-6 days. Then they caught me. I did everything- Fodder for the buffalo, watering the farms, working there. I did not like doing it.

Then they caught me and beat me. Then they made me work for a month. They did not give me money. I was thrashed. They made me do everything.

Then I did not come. I came to Delhi and thought my folks must be worried about me so I went back. I got nothing, only abuses from my parents, aunts and uncle. I got agitated. This carried on for one or two months. No one was worried, not tensed. The older brother was still missing. The process of finding him continued. Then I made up my mind. My studies were over and my papa was in jail. That’s because he had borrowed a lot of money from people. He had borrowed 1 lac from a small shop. So, wherever I went, they would ask for money. We had money but that was finished in looking for my brother. Then I made up my mind not to stay there.

Papa came back from jail after three days. He was released from the jail because…everyone 38

knows him. They got him free. I thought what I could do, as there was nothing to do. I had left my studies too. I thought no one cared for me but even if I had to stay, I would. Anyway, they beat me there. And now I knew a little bit about Delhi.

My younger brother was with my mother. He did not feel bad as he had become like them. He started taking drugs. I had beaten him 2-3 times. He did not listen. I would get beaten instead.

He had adapted to their ways. I decided I will not go to them. I will come only after I become someone. I changed my name when I came to Delhi and I did not tell my mother and father’s name to anyone. And I don’t like to take their name. I wandered in Delhi trains for 2-3 days and then I came to old Delhi. I worked in Old Delhi. I worked in a tea stall. Then I sold khoya (milk product to make sweets). After having worked in Delhi for some time, I came to know about Delhi a little bit.

I could make a little bit of money. I could eat. There was enough. I was alone. The khoya market was near the tea stall. I worked part time there. I kept eating fruits etc. I realised I had to study as well. I used to see the library. There is a public library in Delhi and many people used to go there. I thought I was wasting a lot of time and I had to study, so I left the shop. The shop keeper was not paying my money so I sold his ware and I ran away- gas, cylinder etc.

Then, I went to the Hanuman temple. I saw didis and I followed them. Then I saw photos and papers from didi and I did not believe it, so I went to see it. I saw the other boys too. Till then I did not know their names.

Then CWC sent me to see the family condition. I showed them the house but I did not go there.

Papa mummy came to see me. I didn’t want to see mummy. Papa came to see me but he would disturb me every day. I did not want to go back…I would not be able to study. Then I would think of leaving this place too, because they knew it. They would keep coming and I would not be able to study. Then I went to Aurobindo Ashram because I wanted to study but I came back… I was admitted to a previous class. I wanted to do something further. I asked didi to get me back. (When I came back,) my cousin brother came to see me. He showed me his home and I started going to their house. It was interfering as they came every Sunday to give me something. I did not like it. I didn’t like them because I don’t like people who take drugs and I had to study. That cousin used to come many times. I did not want to be close to anyone and they used to drink. His eyes were red all the time. Then I went to another home and did not give them my address.

My brother told me of my father’s death. I did not feel much because I had often urged them to leave all this as it destroys the body. I could see his health deteriorating. You cannot expect to live after taking drugs 24 hours. And what have they given me except beatings?

Story 9: Young, Vulnerable and Uncared for Samir is a special child. He became deaf when he fell into a pool of water. He speaks in monosyllables. His story is told by the night shelter coordinator who brought him to the hostel at the behest of his dying mother. His mirth is infectious. The caregivers at the residential home have reared him with affection. He reciprocates this by communicating with everyone. He has developed a loving bond with his friends and caregivers.

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Samir’s Story from a Night Shelter Coordinator Samir’s first contact with the family was with his mother. I don’t know, for some reason, we used to just greet each other when we met- Samir’s mother and I, when I used to roam around. I was working in the capacity of a night shelter coordinator, with the team, at that time. We were celebrating holi at that time, and had gujiyas. Everyone was throwing colour at each other.

The entry was restricted to single women. It was not with women with partners. Razia was stigmatised. She was a hard core drug user. She was stigmatised by the community so women were not really friendly with her. She was- I was inside, she was standing outside and looking inside the shelter. She was curious to know what was going on inside. The shelter staff behaved very insensitively with her.

They asked her to go away from there because they wanted the photos to look good. So they were like, go away from here, go away from here. I was standing there and I saw that. I could see she was embarrassed. I went to her, hugged her and said- “Holi Mubarak ho! Come inside.”

That was the time when something just struck between us.

After that, whenever I used to go, she used to come running to me and we would talk about her life, her previous relationships. This is how our relationship grew.

Then, we started life-skills sessions in the shelter and Razia, because we would purposely go and call her for the session, was regular and I and everyone else could see improvement in her. There was improvement in the way she started taking the shower which was something she rarely did.

She used to be very dirty, her hair used to be all messed up because she never used to wash.

She had matted hair and she was very dirty. When she started taking a shower, she was clean and in the subsequent programme, she used to make sure that she had a bath and was there.

There was a huge difference in the way she looked. But after sometime, I stopped seeing her and she stopped attending the sessions. So I went back to her in the community and saw her in the same avatar that she used to be. I asked her, “What happened? Why are you not attending the sessions?”

She said, “Didi, I don’t want to change. Who do I change for?” I said, “Why? What happened?”

She had three kids and she was very close to her youngest kid- Samina. She was probably a month old and she used to breast feed her. And she had stopped taking drugs for some time then. And her health had also improved at that time. We were constantly counseling her that she was breastfeeding Samina and so she need to leave it. Everything was going fine with her life but it was all dismantled. She said sadly, “I had a fight with my husband and he said…I am going to fuck your daughter.”

She said that he had said like this towards her baby. Hence, she had cuts on her hand and she was heavily drugged. After saying so, she started crying. I said if your husband is so abusive, you should take a stand. So what can we do for you? She said, “No, don’t speak against the man.”

Her husband had a group of children around him and he used to boss with them. He got his 40

chores done by them. He used to give them protection in lieu of their work. He himself was a pick-pocket. And he was friends with a more powerful goon of that area; so he felt powerful himself. He used to snatch money from kids and give them protection.

Razia’s last husband was also very abusive. She got married at the age of 13. She was pregnant by 14. Samir was the child born out of the last husband; that is why her husband disliked him.

Otherwise too, he was not close to his own children. He was not at all fond of Samir.

It was Diwali time and Razia was on a high. She was begging at the Dargah. There was a candle kept at a side. The cloth that she was wearing caught fire. She was so drugged that she did not realise it till her salwar got stuck to her skin and kept burning. So, this portion, (from the toe till the hip) is 18% and 15% of it was burnt. One day she went to the hakim to whom everyone goes to- they call him the Bengali doctor- she got herself dressed there. But it wouldn’t have cured with that because the burn was so deep and the area she stays in is also unhygienic.

She is also generally very unhygienic.

She stayed in the market. She was not allowed in the night shelter because she was married.

The burnt skin was getting worse. It was rotting. Then, we cared for her at the shelter but it got worse. It was red from the inside and it was so painful that she couldn’t speak. And her foot was jammed. She couldn’t keep it straight. She walked with a limp. Then when it became worse, we took her to the hospital and motivated her husband because he would not listen otherwise. If the family is there, we should push the family to take care of the lady.

So we sent her to the hospital and she was stigmatised there too. They said, “What is this? Why have you come so late? This has rotten badly. Why have you come?” She was very dirty too.

No one touched her. The doctor talked to her rudely and sent her away. The other day too, we sent her after a lot of coaxing.

At the hospital she was given one tube and a bandage to do it herself. She felt insulted. She felt she was not attended to. Plus, she had a mind block towards the hospital. It is common in her community not to have faith in the government hospitals.

One is that they are not treated well. The other thing is because you are homeless. The hospital gives an attendant to every patient if you are from the middle class but there is no attendant with the homeless. So the hospital people do not attend to the homeless at all. Plus, they have to work more to give them medicine and clean them first. Because the doctors don’t touch them and nurses have to make sure that the patient is clean, even they do not entertain.

So we used to change her dressing on the street everyday but she wouldn’t be alright. There was a volunteer with us. She and I used to take health patients. With her help, I used to clean her. At that time, she was also menstruating. I used to clean her, her entire body and she used to put cream- she used to bandage her.

We could see her wound rotting. The volunteer called me at night and said she was definitely dying and if we forced her to, she might live. So the next day, we called the ambulance, put her in and took her to Safdarjung. It was better there. The doctor was really cooperative. He did a skin surgery on her. Now her skin was healing. She was there for a week. But she made a hue and cry every day because she had a craving for drugs. And then her husband used to nag 41

her for keeping him waiting in the hospital. He was losing out on his business…we tried a lot to keep her there but she would not. We brought her mother but she would not listen.

Then finally, after a week, we got her out. The hospital people were ready to cooperate but she did not want to stay. She stayed in the hospital for 10 days. When she was in the hospital, she was getting proper food and care and her skin was regenerating. It was getting better. She was recovering well. We also felt she would take care.

So we took her back to the street and her health deteriorated. After a few days, people of the community said, the husband had poisoned her and she died. We could not get her diagnosed but when we talked to the doctor, he said, it could have been a septic attack. I met the previous evening and she was fine.

She has three children after her.

How old was Samir when she died?

He was five.

Did he beg too?

No. The mother used to beg, taking the children along. She took the three children along.

Because her mother- she was not from a homeless family; she had her own house. She was mentally ill. So they had removed her from there. At that time her children were very young.

That is how she came to the street.

When Samir came here, he was in a bad shape- medically, developmentally and cognitively.

He couldn’t go to the washroom. He couldn’t speak properly. He did not know that there was something called a washroom. I have seen her children poop there and play. So, that was the condition.

The children were dirty. When he came here, the house mothers worked a lot on him. Every time when I came here, there was an improvement in him and the best moment was when I came in and he responded to me. I used to ask him questions about his school, surroundings and he used to respond. He would try giving me answers and that was very heartening.

When he was younger, he was playing near a pool, he fell into it and water went into his ears.

He was not hearing impaired when he was born.

How was Samir when his mother came for the life skills sessions?

Samir and her other children- all of them roamed without clothes. They roamed around dirty.

I have always seen him wandering around. Razia told me once, “If I die, you get Samir into a home.” She said Ramesh will not keep him.

What did his father say?

He is not concerned. When we told him he said, “Do as you deem fit.” He had no problem.

Story 10: Together in Grief Gulzar and Golu can be seen together most of the times in the home. Gulzar is a protective elder brother who says he has this habit since he was very young. His mother was run down by 42

a car and died. He remembers how the driver zoomed away while his father followed it till as far as he could. He remembers the ordeal they underwent after their mother died. His father wants them to become good human beings. Himself a heavy drug user, he wants his children to study hard which is why he wants them to stay in the home.

Gulzar and Golu tell their Story What do you remember of childhood?

Since childhood, I was at Nizamuddin. Me, mummy and papa. Ma’s foot had that…she couldn’t walk.

And papa?

Papa used to get food. Somedays it used to happen that my mother’s trolley was kept down and someone banged into her and ran away.

Were her feet like that before?

Yes. Both feet?

Yes. I don’t remember much. I was very young at that time.

How did she move?

That in which you go in the hospital.

Wheelchair?

Yes. Where did you sleep?

Under the bridge. Yamuna Bridge.

Do you remember anything more?

There was everything there. To study, to eat. My father asked me to go there and study.

Was a very small place, where you slept?

Yes. Did you go to school?

Shakes his head.

Who got food?

Papa. After mummy’s death.

So papa started taking drugs there?

He started after mother’s death. He has left now.

How did mummy die?

She was sitting in that. Someone banged into it. We took her to the hospital and the doctor said 43

she has died.

How old were you?

6 years.

Do you remember something?

A little bit.

Photo: Golu and Gulzar with their Father

He started taking you?

Yes. Where?

To the hotel.

Why? To get food, for two years. After that, papa sent us to the home. When mother died, mama came to see us. I didn’t know I had a maternal uncle. My father told me he was my maternal uncle so I went to him. Golu did not go. The next day mama said, “Don’t go.” I said, “I will study there. What will I do here?” I did not like it there.

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An interview with their father revealed that he had migrated from a village in Bihar for earning money. When he came to Delhi, he realised it was very difficult. He started doing casual labour.

Gradually, he started smoking biri and taking drugs. He could then, never go back home for he was ashamed of himself. He wants his children to grow up as good human beings and not take to the same habits he was drawn into.

Patna The children in Patna are from three institutional care homes- two long term residential homes and one oragnisation that runs the childline (organisation that rescues children), day care center and a vocational training center. Two homes are residential care, open and voluntary, comprehensive care, rights-based, family oriented, participatory, long term homes for children.

The children in these homes are between 6-14 years of age.

The vocational center is for street and homeless children. The organisation has day center and night shelter that serves as an entry point for older children to enroll into the vocational training center that offers training in tailoring, motorcycle repair and cycle repair. The organisation helps children to take advanced training in their respective trades and helps them get placement after their training. The participants from this organisation are between 16-22 years.

The presence of resource structures around the Patna junction (at that time) is crucial to understand why girls and boys could reach these resources. At that time, there was a day care center and night shelter for boys, a vocational training center for boys, child line, drug deaddiction center that had opened recently and a temple where children beg.

Two boys who stayed in the day center and the vocational training center are in the residential home now. Three boys from both the institutions have shared rooms in the remand home. Their stories bring out the element of choice children exercise while taking decisions in their personal lives.

Education Children in Patna mostly lived and worked at the Patna junction. Almost all of them did not attend school when they were at the station. There is one boy, who did. He saved his money and bought notebooks for himself and even paid his fees for tuitions. The girls did not have any access to vocational training or education at the station. The boys attended the vocational training center.

Health Children share that they bore illness but worked as they had to earn. There was a medical facility at a platform but they had to pay for it. They seldom bought medicines. They slept when they had high fever till they recovered. They usually suffered from diarrhea. They did not have sets of clothes. They discarded clothes when they were soiled badly or when they had either bought a new set or found another.

Children here, as in Delhi, say that they took drugs because they saw people around them taking drugs and also that it numbed them.

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Their days are long as their day at the station is regulated by the trains they have to check and most of the express trains ply during the night. They usually take two meals a day.

Nutrition The children had money to spend on food. They usually buy food. All children who ended up on the streets worked in hotels to earn food. All of them were denied wages. Girls did not work in hotels for food. They usually begged for food. When they could earn, the boys bought food and drugs and kept some money as reserve. When they could not earn due to reasons such as illness, they would go without food or sit at the temple and beg.

Employment The boys are commonly employed in rag picking, selling bottles, filling water bottles and reselling them, pick-pocketing. The girls begged and picked garbage. The older boys who got trained in the vocational training center joined work but changed jobs often. All boys who attended the vocational training center started with learning motorcycle repair. They left it later for stitching and tailoring as the teacher was sensitive, their own hands would remain clean and they could earn better. Boys who worked in the city and went back to the village usually returned as they could earn better in the city.

Relations- Family, Friends and Networks Many children on Patna junction had broken families and poor families that they had to support.

The older boys interviewed had gone back to their families after having established themselves.

One of them is trying to trace his family as he says it gives you an identity. The younger boys miss their families during festivals. Those who can, go home during the festivals. The girls do not have good family ties.

Patna Girls Story 11: Sold into Drudgery, Living in Hope Farheen tells her story Farheen is a young child who was sent to Patna to work as a domestic help at a young age of 7 years. She saw her mother taking money from an agent to send her to Patna for work. She remembers her mother fondly and feels her mother is happy with her stepfather. Her mother married him after her father’s death. Her secret visits to her mother, when she was in the village were not taken well by her own relatives as they had ostracized her for marrying a Hindu.

Farheen had to bear the brunt of this anger too. She would be beaten every time she was found to be meeting her mother. She ran away from the ill-treatment and exploitation at the hands of her employers.

Farheen tells her story How did you come to Patna?

I had come to mummy. Someone came to her and asked her if he could take me away. She agreed and they brought me here and made me work.

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I did not run away when I was with my mother. We stayed at home and she went to earn. My elder sister stayed at home. One day, my mother was washing utensils and my uncle came and he hit her and forced her out of the house. Then my mother married a Hindu and she had a son.

My older sister had come with me and I went to see my mother. She inquired of my two sisters and I told her they were with my uncle. She asked me to bring them along. So we went to her one day and started staying with her. Then one day my paternal aunts came- they never beat us. They used to help us. They fed us when we were hungry. They would inquire where we had gone when we returned and we would not tell. Then one day she heated the tongs and hit us and bound us with a rope.

Then what happened?

Then we ran from there, to mother. Then they brought us to Patna saying that you play with friends there but they made us work. Then I stayed there for many days and ran away from there. Someone saw me and brought me here.

What all did you do there?

I worked, cooked food, dried clothes and a lot of work.

They had two children- one older and one younger.

How old were they?

11 years and 8 years.

The younger one beat me when she could not find her clothes. When she beat me, no one stopped her. She shut the room and beat me. Her mother never said anything to her. Her mother used to go out. She used to say, “Why don’t you keep things properly?” I used to keep them properly but she would put them here and there. Her mother also beat me when they could not find it.

Who put you to work in Patna?

When I stayed with my uncle and aunt, the buffalo had given birth to a (baby) calf. I used to deliver the milk to him, so he saw me. He asked me if I would go to Patna. I refused. Then I ran to mummy. That man got me here. I did not know him. I was at my mother’s place and he came there. My aunt asked me if I would go to deliver milk. I refused.

My aunts told me, not to go to her as she had married a Hindu and she would teach me her ways.

She said she had sold my elder sister. She was lost in Delhi. She used to work there. We were three sisters. One was in the lap.

My uncle and aunt are very cruel. They fight with everyone. They beat with sticks. No one stops them. The older one even killed someone with a cudgel.

Tell us what happened through the day (at your aunt’s place in the village)?

I got up in the morning and worked. I got up early, by 6:00, someone washed dishes and someone did breakfast. They gave me breakfast sometimes and sometimes, tea and biscuits.

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She gave it when I finished all chores. Not when my work was remaining. She would give it when I asked, but I felt shy to ask and remained hungry.

Why did you feel shy?

She used to beat me. I used to baby sit her child.

So you did all this?

I cooked, picked cow dung and made dung cakes. Then, I ran one day. She left me the day I went to someone but beat me the next day.

So no one saved you at the village?

No. she fought with anyone who came to save me. She was my chachi (paternal aunt). Once my phuphu (paternal aunt) made me sleep at her place and sent me away in the morning. She did not beat me. I spoke with my phuphu only.

How many children did she have?

She had two sons. The elder one used to beat me. I was thin and he beat me just like that. Once, someone took him away for a day and she brought him back. And she had two daughters. I baby sit the younger one.

Did anyone of the four help you?

No. They made me work. They made me wash their used plates too.

How did that man get you from Patna till here to work?

He got me in a bus. I got down and ran away. He looked for me. I was hiding between the buses- one this side and one that. He couldn’t spot me but I thought I will be lost so I came out and he caught me…He did not say anything. He kept me for two days, gave me food and then put me to work. They drove off the girl who used to work there.

Did you get anything to eat the first night?

I did not like it and I cried and slept.

She used to say she has kept food for me. One morning, I had not finished the chores and she started beating me then and I started crying. She started talking to an aunty that side and I slipped out of the door. That door otherwise used to remain shut. I ran from that door and there was a bhaiya from my village, he knew me. He sent me here and said, “If you stay here no one will come to know.” They haven’t been able to locate me since then.

How long did you work with them?

I worked with them for five months.

You said that the house was always locked.

She took her children along when she went out on the scooter. She locked me from outside. She never took me out. In my village, we took the money and went out alone. No one said anything.

Children were free to play.

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When she went out, did you ever feel you should call someone?

She took the phone along.

So what happened and how did you run that day?

There was no one home that day. It was Eid. She beat me with a cudgel and I was crying loudly.

She told me to shut my mouth and started talking to her neighbour. I thought I should run. I had 10 rupees on me.

What happened when you ran out of the house?

I ran out of the house. My bhaiya’s house was beside ours so I ran into his house. He locked the door and took me out from the other door, covered me with a bed sheet and brought me here on a scooter.

Where did you get those 10 rupees from?

My mother had given me 100 rupees. This was extra.

Where did you spend the rest as that woman never let you out?

She sent me to buy sugar etc. while she would sit and chat with her neighbour. I bought it then and had it. I had 15 rupees remaining. I left it there.

You worked for the whole day. Who got the money?

They saved my money. They said they will give me a house and money when I grow older. How long could I have worked? I ran away. They saved my money in the bank.

That bhaiya at the village talked my mother into sending me here. He told her that they would give me 1000 rupees. He gave that money to her and got me here.

She would beat me when her husband was away. One day, she asked me to make tea. I wasn’t well. The saucepan fell on my feet and I got hurt. There is a mark here. It is getting alright now.

So I did nothing. I went to the bathroom and poured water over it. I applied ointment as well.

That bhaiya gave it to me and told me to do so.

Do you remember anytime when you fell sick and said you couldn’t work?

I never felt I had fever when I was there. I do so here.

I slept at 12:00 there and got up in the morning. There was a TV there. She did not allow me to see that unless I completed all chores. I woke up at 7:00 am. They all slept in the room and I slept in the corridor. Once I saw a snake when I woke up to have water.

Story 12: Unwanted and Alone: a Childhood Struggling for Support When she was three years old, her parents died one after the other. Her bhabhi made her work- washing dishes and everything at home. She did not let her go to play. One day, she was playing, not doing work. Her bhabhi came and asked her why she wasn’t doing household chores. She said she would not, that she would play. Her bhabhi tied her with a belt and cut

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her with a shard of glass. She got angry and ran out after breaking a window open. Then she met Palak, who brought her to Patna junction. She was sleeping on platform number 1 where a policeman came and put her in the lockup. After she was released, she went back to the temple and saw some children begging. She too started to beg. She started taking drugs with the children. She was in a group of about ten girls and boys at the junction. She came to the home after field mobilisers counseled her. She could stay there for 8-9 months after which she ran off to the streets for money and drugs. She was counseled to join a drug de-addiction center which she did for 12 weeks. She resolves not to go back to the streets now.

Summi tells her story When I came in the beginning, I stood under the bridge. I came to the junction and the police beat me and drove me off. Then, I went to the temple. Some people were distributing food there but I did not get it. I did not have money too.

You got food at the temple. Did you do anything else?

I picked garbage.

Who did you stay with?

With Gayatri. I stayed with them, picked garbage and took drugs.

Where did you start taking drugs?

With Kajal. She used to do it.

Drugs on the street: A picture from where Summi lived

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How did you make friends with Preeti and her group?

I went to the station and they were taking drugs. She asked me if I would be her friend. I said, “Yes.” Then I fell ill and started staying with them.

Where did you stay to keep yourself safe?

We stayed at someone’s house. I found shelter in an orphanage service center at the station.

There is a couple who has shanties for rent. The children give them a sack full of trash and they get a place to stay.

How long did you go to school?

Six months. No, eight months then I went to the junction.

Why? I wanted money.

How long did you stay there?

Five days.

(Then, we found her and got her back. We put her in NaiDisha for de-addiction.)

You faced problems?

Yes, I used to tell them but they did not help me. I wanted drugs. I tried a lot to leave drugs but I could not. I resolve not to take drugs now.

What do you want to become?

I want to be a police woman.

Why? Because lady police are good.

Why do you say so?

Because one police had broken Payal’s head and the lady police took her to the hospital.

Where was your house?

In Kishanganj, Bihar Why did you come from there?

Bhabhi made me work And mummy papa?

They died and bhabhi made me work. I had to do a lot of work.

Did you not remember your home and did you not try to go back?

I did. I went to their house but did not go inside.

Why? I was afraid my brother and bhabhiwill lock me inside.

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So you went to them?

I went to their door, but did not knock it.

Story 13: Childhood of Deprivation: a Story not yet told Sabroon is in the home since the last one year. She tells multiple stories about how she escaped home, where she lived, relations with her family members and why she ran. Though incoherent on the surface, the story shows her reticence to share her past. She was 9 years and Mina was 5 years when they ran away from home. We tried tracing their families through the police helpline but could not trace it as their own families were itinerant and the information they are able to give is very limited. A careful reading of her story shows she had a broken family; that she lived in extreme poverty and was forced to work. Her constant reference to deprivation of food and lack of love at home are probable causes for her decision to run away.

Sabroon tells her story We lived happily there.

How was your house?

It was a shanty.

How did you come from home?

Mummy drove me out.

Where did you stay?

At the junction. I am from here.

Tell us of your house, where you stayed with your mother.

Danapur.

Where?

In Gonda.

Papa fell ill?

Yes. What happened?

He had fever.

So you showed to the doctor?

Yes. He fell ill at home.

So how did you manage?

The night passed.

And food?

We fed him. He couldn’t eat on his own.

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What did he work as?

He worked in a factory.

What factory?

Utensils. Then, when he fell ill, we stopped getting money and the police said, “You don’t want to go to them?”

To whom?

To mummy, we had run away.

You are telling us of your story after you ran away from home?

Yes. Which police?

Where we stayed.

So you went back?

No. So, how did you come to Patna?

My sister got me here.

Which sister?

My older sister got me.

Where is she?

At home.

She is at home? She got you here?

She said go straight to the train. She got me.

What does your didi do?

She works like we do. She sells dolls in the train.

You ran and came to Patna junction?

Yes. How many days were you there?

Four days. After that the police said, “Why did you run away from home?” I said, “The people at home have thrown me out.” I didn’t want to bring Hina but mummy told me to take her along.

Why will your own mother say so?

She used to say so.

Did you go to school?

She went. We cooked food and fed them.

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Was it dark when you boarded the train?

Yes. So, where did you sleep?

Under the train- under the seat of the moving train No one asked you where you were coming from?

No one. Only the policemen did.

You wouldn’t have eaten for so many days when you ran.

We were hungry for six months. We did not get food at home.

You didn’t get food at home?

We didn’t.

How did you survive all these days?

Our sister-in-law gave us food.

So you got good food at home?

We used to work but never got food.

Mummy had a room. I used to mop there.

So mummy had another room?

Yes. We had a shanty and mummy had a room.

Mummy said, “You stay here.” I asked her why and she did not give us food. She threatened us.

So, I put it to flames.

You burnt it down?

Yes, I did.

Your mother did this to you?

Yes, she did not give us food. We said, “Tere baapka hai kya? (Does it belong to your father?)”

Then papa started hitting us. Bhabhi told him not to do so. She pulled the stick from him.

I don’t understand who put the shanty to flames?

I put it to flames. I sprayed the kerosene oil on the bed and put it to flames.

Why? She made a bed for herself and didn’t let us sleep there.

They were your parents?

Yes. Then my bhabhi said let us go from here. Then I got up in the morning, did my work. She was not letting me take a bath. They had gone to the market at night and I set their bed to flames. They did not hit us, we ran away to bhabhi’s house and when mummy came, I hid inside.

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Then she got angry and looked for you?

Yes. Then?

I stayed at bhabhi’s place for 10 days. Then they sent me away from there to mausi’s house. Then my mother said, “Go away from here.” Then papa came to call us back and mausi said, “I will not stop you.” So I was washing the utensils and my mother came and said, “I will break your limbs and hang you to death today.”

So the first mother died?

Yes. How? She consumed poison.

So she was your mother?

No she was Mina’s.

So this new mummy was not good. What all did she make you do?

She made me sweep and mop and sent me to work.

Where?

At the station.(For) begging. She used to beg at the station.

And you?

No. Mummy used to beg. The other mummy used to go to the village to beg and leave us to work.

Where?

Janakpur. We did not get food where we worked.

Where?

Where they make utensils.

How did you bring your sister here?

Bhabhi said, “You take her.” I said, “I won’t.” She got her on the train. She gave us new clothes as well. But they were stolen on the train.

Why did she get you on the train?

She said, “Will you not go?”

I said, “No.” She said, “Where will you go?” And they were coming after us,so we ran and got on the train.

Bhaiya was coming after us. He lost his foot under the train.

So you saw all that?

Yes. 55

So you stopped there?

Yes. They said we will put you in jail.

Who said?

Mummy papa have broken his knee so they were sent to jail.

Who sent?

We sent.

What did you say?

I said they beat us and they beat him too.

They beat you?

Yes, they did.

After a careful reading of the documents, we realised that Sabroon followed the questions and let the story develop rather than telling the story. She has been at the home for one year and struggles to tell the past. This story is crucial to listen to as she never denied sharing but she is yet to develop trust to fully reveal her past.

Patna Boys Story 14: United in Grief with the Mother Shyam does not share his past with the children at home. He does not want to share how his mother worked to raise them up. He covers his forearm as it is inked with the name of the man who bought his mother and exploited her. His story of escape from the clutches of exploitation shows fear of being caught again.

Shyam tells his story When we were young, we used to stay with someone else. Like my mother and father were going to get married. My papa sold my own mother to a man... He bought my mother and was taking her to Mumbai. My uncle saw my mother earning like that. When my mother saw my uncle had seen her, she hid and my uncle said she has hidden somewhere. Then he told the police- he had many friends in the police. They found my mother. Then my mother went away with Ramu. And then the people did wrong deeds with my mother.

Then?

My mother kept suffering. Then they forced my mother to do dirty work. Then, my mother was young. Then my brother became big and I thought my mother would never come. My mother started hiding everything from me. Then when I asked her one day- “What work do you do?”

She said… (tears well up in his eyes).

My mother and my sister came from there and said we will not stay there any longer. Then we went to school and the exam was over and we ran and came to Patna. No, I mean, we slipped out from there.

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There was a man from Chennai. He had made a good place in Nasik. He did not pay Ramu but had made good money. He got things ready and then we came…A man named Kishore came to know that we would be slipping out. The auto driver too knew that my mother was in that work. He knew everything. The kind of work my mother did.

Why did mother go back?

There was an elder brother- his mother and this one’s mother were friends. She had given her own son to that lady for foster care. He did not know she was not the real mother. When he grew up and came to know, he slashed her nose and broke Ramu’s hand.

So do you remember how you ran from there?

My sister knew. My mother had told her everything. So they decided to run away…after the exam got over and we got the result. Papa got the result. No one came to know. When the exams got over, we went to the rickshaw stand near the cemetery. My friend stayed there.

There was river Ganges here and the road here. My mother went to her friend and came with her. My sister saw them. We were about to go. We felt scared near the cemetery as we thought a dead man would walk up to us. My sister said that we were leaving. Then my sister and I ran to my mother. She said, “Get on the auto.” The man was already there in the auto. He was a very good man. He treated my mother as his sister. That man took money from us and said he would tell no one. He quickly got the auto.

My sister called him. My friend went away. Then, away we went. We boarded four-five buses.

We went to my mother’s friend for a day. We took clothes from there for a day. This was far from Nasik. We reached there. We stayed there for a day. Then my aunty, my mother’s friend said we should leave that place.

If anyone enquired about us, she would say we had left for the park. Then, aunty came to Nasik.

She brought my friend’s clothes. We had left our clothes with her. No one took it from there.

Then, when she came to the bus stand, she brought it with her. From there we went to the station.

There we came to know that there is no train for Patna station. We waited there till 6:30 am.

We slept there. We got up in the morning. We boarded the train in the morning and as we were about to reach there, my mother made friends with a woman. She gave us food to eat.

We did not know if the train would go there or not.

She told us to get down from there and there was a train Poona-Patna. We got onto that. Then, we got down at Patna. We went a little ahead as we did not know where to get down. Had we read it on the station, it would be easy. Then my mother called my father. Then we boarded an auto for Rs. 500. Then he brought us to Patna Hanuman Mandir. My father had told us to stop beside Hanuman Mandir. My papa came. He rented an accommodation there and we stayed there for two-three days. Then my uncle called. Only he knew that we were there.

One day my uncle said something to my mother and my mother knew that he was going to be thrashed by my father so she told him to take another room. My father rented an accommodation in a market ahead of the factory and we stayed there for two-three months.

They told us to leave as we did not pay the rent on time. Then we went to Chandil. They speak another language there. It is far away from Patna. Then we went there. Then papa and mummy 57

worked. Mummy used to cook and papa used to work as a mason for someone but it did not work out there as well. He had to climb up and down as he was in flyover construction.

So my mother asked him to leave that work as it might lead to an accident.

We were enrolled in school then. They had come for Diwali too. Then they were asked to come later and they came during Holi and now they are in the factory.

You said your paternal uncle was not good. Why do you say so?

Because he cursed a lot; anyone- whether a friend or an unknown. Even we did, but we did not have such a habit.

So your mother had called him to help your father?

No. You see, one night my father had gone to work and he told my mother that she should come to him at eight at night. We were furious but did not respond. I never used to say anything. My mother said, “What for?” He said, “Didn’t you get it?” I was furious.

Where was your father when you stayed with your mother,earlier?

Papa was there. My mother used to share her agony with my father.

Papa stayed with you?

No, he stayed away from us. He came sometimes during the day to meet us, sometimes for work. My grandmother was also there but she would call him if he gave her money, otherwise she would not.

When you asked your mother what she does for a living, what did she say?

Yes, I asked her what work she did in Nasik. I have forgotten now (tears well up in his eyes).

Story 15: Defeating Illness: a story of grit and determination Rajveer is a strong-willed boy whose quality of extreme grit made him decide he would walk rather than take a wheelchair. His anger at his classmates who teased him when he could not walk sparked a fight and he defends his position saying the teacher did not scold him. She rather scolded the boys who teased him. He believes that he is healed because of magic as people around him say such a miracle could not have happened without magic. He feels it could have been because of medicines and his own determination but he does not dismiss the element of magic.

Rajveer tells his story I remember that Rajiv was my brother and two persons lived with us at my maternal grandma’s (nani’s) place. My maternal uncle, who was one of them, would beat my nani and send her away. He would also cut the grass for wages in the fields whereas nani would make food for us.

So, where did you live at this time?

We would live at Dadiyapur Pipramau and collect and gather food grain. One day papa called us and told us that mother was not keeping well. We came here and started picking garbage. Father wanted me to study butI didn’t want to read. I didn’t know how to. In the evening, I went to gamble and when I came back, I would be beaten up and left without food.

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Then I would go to the temple to sleep and again pick garbage in the morning. My father would ask me,where I had slept the previous night and I would say that I had slept on the roof.

He would ask me how much I had earned bypicking garbage. I said, “Only one rupee.” He beat me and got my name enrolled in the school. I went to school but the children beat me and I stopped going from the next day onwards.

After sometime, I remember father started drinking alcohol and my mother started making local liquor. One day, mother was not there and I drank some of the local liquor. My head started reeling and I slept. My father found this out and beat me hollow.

I wanted to work but was afraid of asking this from my mother, so the shop owner asked my brother if I wanted to work with the junk seller for rupees 5000 a month. My mother refused, saying that I should study.

(I started going to school). One day, when I went to school, I fought with a boy. The boy was teasing a girl. I could not bear this and fought. The teacher came to stop the fight. I protested…

The teacher came home and complained to my parents as the boy had a red eye due to the scuffle. I protested and stopped going to school. After this, I started picking trash again.

Was there a time when there was less food?

When we went to pick rags, we were never short of food. Even if there was food, we would go to do rag picking.

When it rained, did you do this?

We would pick plastic bottles. We would pick waste, whenever we needed food.

When you came to know that you have polio in your leg, did you try to show the doctor?

This happened to me in 2013, when I was on a picnic. There was a death in the family; it was winter. I had taken a bath and suffered from fever. I took medicine. The fever was gone, but my feet ached. I took medicines but it made me sick and I could not get up from the bed.

Who tended to you then?

My father, generally ... I would of think of myself as a burden as I was on the bed most of the time. Even in sleep my knees and legs ached and my hand seemed stiff. I was admitted to hospital. There they gave me food but I was not hungry.

Tell us of this one year when you couldn’t walk. What did you feel?

I cried a lot when I saw others walking. I tried to walk but it pained. It pained when I turned.

So did the medicines heal you?

My nani came one day and told me that I was possessed by a spirit and took me with her. That was a Sunday. My didi and my mausi and mausa came. It was during Holi festival. They stayed for a week. If they had not taken me away, I would have died. My father brought in an ojha who performed this ritual on my stomach; he pressed my stomach and tookout the spirit that was inside me… I was taken to this ojha regularly and he cured me. I was able to sit and stand.

I started to eat and was able to stand with some support. Then, I started walking with the help of a stick and by leaning against the wall.

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Did you continue your medicines?

I took medicines till I was in hospital and even when I was taken to the ojha…

The fight at school happened before you got a problem in your foot?

Yes, before that. And even when I walked on crutches, I went to school. They said, “Should we get you a wheelchair?” I said, “No. I will walk on my own.” Then I went home and told this to my mother. She asked, “Why didn’t you take it?” I said, “I don’t remember.” Some days later, I asked my teacher for a wheelchair and she said, “When I asked you, you said you didn’t want it. Now where do I get it from?” After that, I went to the school on crutches and my head ached.

So I sat aloof. My knee jerked and pained and I got irritated and hit a boy and he bled. Then many boys caught hold of me- someone caught my hands, feet and my note book. Then ma’am mediated and said, “He has pain in his feet and so many of you are hitting him.” They said, “It is not our fault. It is his fault.” I said, “It is not my fault.” They said, “His feet are not aching. He is giving an excuse; therefore we all hit him.” I said, “I am so strong that I can hit them all myself.”

Ma’am agreed and she hit them and said nothing to me.

And when they gave the wheelchair, why did you refuse?

I thought, when I can walk on my own, why should I take it?

My brothers at my nani’s house said, “We think he can never walk.” I said, “I will become fine.

There’s no reason why I will not be.” All the brothers said, “Now, he will not be alright.” I said, “I will.” One day I was upset. So I went far away with my stick to a farm at nani’s house. They all looked for me and couldn’t find me. My knee started aching. I sat thinking I would not be able to walk back. Then I thought that the night would fall if I keep sitting there. Then I left the stick and tried to walk. My knees ached and I took support of the stick. I tried again. Ultimately, I left the stick and walked on my two feet.

How did you feel when you left the stick and walked?

I was elated. It was turning night and I thought I would reach and I would not need the stick. I was very happy. When I came home, my feet were aching badly. Nani said, “Should I apply oil to your feet?” She did so and I felt relaxed.

Why did you not want to leave your parents?

I was afraid of being alone – mother and father would ask me if I had eaten, or if I was afraid.

I also felt that if I roam around, I would be caught and beaten by someone.

Since all brothers were together once, how did you come here?

Mother said what would I do there and that I should study or I can do rag-picking as other children do. If I am alone there, someone might beat me or exploit me. So I came here along with my parents.

Story 16: Feeling of Abandonment, Struggling to Belonging Shubham comes across as extremely bright and enterprising. He helped the field mobilisers in counseling the children to join the home. He even helped setting up of the home. He said that after he had painted the walls of the home, he felt it belongs to him. He and his friends have 60

put up craft material on the ceiling and decorated their rooms. He has lived and got vocational training in another organisation in Patna. He got training in motorcycle repair, worked for a few months and came back to the junction. Then he decided to join the home as it gave him an opportunity to study.

Shubham tells his story We stayed in UP. Mother stayed in another house. I mean, after her second marriage. My first father, I don’t know if he was alive, but she took both of us and ran after the second marriage.

So we stayed there. Then, she married a Pandit. We are Yadavs. Then she married a Muslim. So the Pandit drove her off and she went away with my younger brother. That day, when she was going, I waved my hand and called after her.

I ran after her. I followed her to Chauri-Chaura and looked for them in the jungles. Then I saw a train at Chauri-Chaura.. I got on that train. Then I got on another train in Devariya. I thought she would be there. The train rolled away with me in it, as I looked for her. It took me to Bombay. I didn’t know where I had come. I wondered where I had come. Everyone picked bottles there. I too started doing it and it made me irritable. I never told anyone of my parents. Then I started taking solution in Mumbai. I didn’t take cigarette. Then I came to Delhi. I ate and drank there.

There are thieves in Mumbai. I stayed with them too.

How did you earn money?

By cleaning the floor of the train and begging.

I never knew this was going to happen to me after so many days in Mumbai. He came to me and snatched my money. I was walking casually in the train and some boy came and snatched it from me. Then I went to Delhi and stayed there for some time and then came to Patna station.

I was new at Patna station. The police stationed there started thrashing the boys but they did not thrash me. One day, he caught hold of me and said he would put me in jail. He asked me to do gandakaam. He tried to do it with me. He pulled me into a bogey and closed all the doors.

I broke a black window and jumped out from there. Thereafter, I took a stone in my hand and cracked his head with it. That constable used to beat me every day. I used to hang on the train and hit him from behind. Then I got in touch with an NGO and they took me along. They asked me my whereabouts, I didn’t tell them. They searched my family in places I misled them to. Then I told them. Then they took me to my village and all the people there recognized me.

School boys called out my name- Shubham. “Who is that?” “I am calling you, your friend.” I said, “I do not recognise you. Let me go.” He said, “Come, I’ll remind you now. He took me to the school. His name was Jeetu. We went inside and the Principal said, “O Shubham! Your grandfather expired. Where are your papa and ma?” I said, “Ma is not there.” He said, “Ma left you as well. Don’t ever take her name, never. Go, now.” Then Jeetu said, “Come, let us go together.” He took me in his car.

We walked half way. I saw two-three men working in the fields. I felt they were working in my fields. There was only one field in my name. Remaining fields were taken away by my paternal uncle and aunt. Before this, all land was in my name. But then there are lawyers! How do I know that he is fleecing me? He took me to the mukhiya (village headman). Many farmers came along.

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My grandfather was one below the mukhiya- you know, the one who is responsible for people’s protection. He was a big man. Every one respected him. He had many fields and oxen. I saw an ox in the mukhiya’s house. I asked him, “Where did you get this ox from?” He said, “Take it, if you can. But…” “Where do you stay?” he said. I said, “This boy brought me from the station.” There were many people there. I told him what happened and they took me to my house. It was like they hated it when I came back. I didn’t recognise my uncle but I recognized my aunt and started crying.

They did not receive me well. I went inside the house and the mukhiya came along. Inside the house, I saw my photo, my father’s, my mother’s and that of my family. It was my room. It was a huge house. Then everyone started talking…they asked me to leave. Mukhiya said, “Don’t you know he is your nephew?” They said, “He is Shubham! Where has he come from?” Then we went to the police station and reported. My uncles said I could come back any day to take my property- me or my mother. They asked me to call them and I would get the land and entitlements. Then I never went. I had gone once, but my brother, my mother wasn’t there. Then how could I do it?

I went back to the railway station selecting and picking bottles, going to the junk seller and selling it, using abusive language, doing all that. Then, one day, they were checking. One madam had lost a purse so they caught hold of us. They forced us in the lock up- for a month.

Everyone else had visitors and we lay there without expecting any. There were two of us like that. We had saved one chocolate between us- we shared it piece by piece. We were let off after a month. Everyone paid money but we were let off for free. Sometime later, we got caught again. This time it was a big theft. We didn’t steal, yet we were caught.

Then he took us home. We absconded. We were caught again. When we were caught again, we thought it is going to be inaugurated the next day- we ran the next morning, before the event.

What was being inaugurated?

The remand home. It opened in the afternoon and we were locked up in the evening. He said, “So you ran again. Get inside.” Many children came on the first day. We were the first ones.

Then many more came. We stayed there for five years before we were released.

I came back to the railway station and started picking bottles. Then didis came and told us of a home. Then some bhaiyas came and asked us to come long. Then I asked them if they were the same group as didis. We refused them and came with didi. We weren’t enrolled for three months- Salim and me.

How did you sleep on the streets?

We used to huddle inside the sack and sleep, whether it was cold or hot, even when it rained. In winters, we took a few cotton sacks, folded it four to five times and took one or two over it and slept. This was the same bag which we used in the day to collect empty bottles till 2:00 am in the morning. We slept at around 12 am. We slept for barely two hours. We had to check the trains as well, for we ate food only when we earned money out of selling bottles.

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One day, I forgot to save the day’s remaining money- my trousers had torn and I tossed my trousers into the dustbin of Shatabdi that leaves for Ranchi. Then that train started moving. I put on another trouser. I put my hands in my pockets and there was no money. Now what! I knew it would stop in the city but how could I catch it? If I board another train, Shatabdi would leave the station by then. I got on a train but I saw that it did not stop at the city. I managed to spot it at Mathura. I started searching for the pant frantically. Then I saw it hanging in the last car- towards the engine- it was hanging there. I was four cars behind. There was another train crossing. I managed to grab the trouser but was hit by the speeding train. My mouth was tattered, it was bleeding. I fell on the pebbles. I rinsed my mouth. I never took any medication whenever I had an injury. Irrespective of the size of the injury, I never took any medicine. I have smashed my head many times over, but have never taken any medicine.

You said you got two hours to sleep; that you slept from twelve till two. Tell us about your routine for the day.

I woke up at two and went to the train, picked up any bottle that lay there and put it in the bag and secured it. I would go down again, get into another train and wait- Chatrapati Train- it came at 3:00 am in the morning, sometimes at 4:00 am and sometimes very late. Then came Poona-Patna, Tilakman, Patna-Rajdhani, I would check all these. Then I would have all the bottles- 10 kg, 5 kg, and 100 kg. Sometimes we checked a hundred trains. I would sell all. We used that money to buy food in the afternoon and take solution. We took solution first and if we had enough money, we ate food and then waited for the afternoon train to gather bottles.

We sold that off and kept the money to have solution and to loiter around. We took a nap at 4 o’ clock. Then there was a train at 4:00 pm. The Poorva- we sold water bottles in Poorva. We kept this money in our pockets. Then came the Janta Experss, we sold water bottles in that too.

Then we slept for about two to three hours. We kept half the money in our pockets and slept.

Then we would wake up and have the solution that we saved. Then came Shatabdi- at night; we checked that. Then the BuxarIslampur, Magadh Islampur- the one that comes from Delhi in the afternoon, then came Howrah- there we took out the bottles from the bathroom. Then came the passenger at night, we picked bottles from there. One or two of us did this together and we sold it together. The entire train- we checked all the trains till 12:00 am. We knew all the trains that came, all the trains.

Not only I, but all of us knew which one came when. All slept at 12:00 noon till 2:00 pm. Then we cleared our spaces and guarded it, filled the bottles (the ones they picked from trains) completed the work in an hour, drinking solution, somebody smoking a cigarette and then the train came. At the announcement, everyone reached the positions far from where they kept things ready. As the train arrived, we would all watch, with the gunny bag held tight at the shoulders and start running. We wore junked slippers, for if the pebbles pierce the slippers, they bounce off. So we ran and ran. I mean we are running ahead of the train. Come the train, we would lunge our hand like that and hold both the hands like that (demonstrates) and get on the bogey. Checking and retrieving bottles, we would reach the station. The train got empty at the station and we would run in all the bogeys to collect the trashed bottles. We used to check all the trains like this.

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Did anyone catch you doing this?

No, no one caught me doing this. Yes, they beat me severely in the bogey.

Only if I came in front of that policeman, would he catch me. I knew his face too well.

Was there any other police like the one you told- who ever troubled you?

No. Most of them beat me- I got thrashed in the train and carried on. I ran there and bounced off the viaduct at one end and then the viaduct at the other. There are three viaducts at the Patna junction. I used to come from there and see the platform to check if there is any constable.

If a train came, I would hold the rails and tighten my fist and hold a stone in between and hit him and look ahead. He would get hurt badly but would not recognise me on the moving train.

Had he recognized who was doing it, he would punish.

I would run. Then he came to check the train at 3:00 pm. He would try to catch, I would run. He would try to catch, I would run.

Did you not miss your mother?

People swarm the station during Chhathpooja. I saw so many people coming to the station to go to the Yamuna River. I followed them as they walked with their children. I pined for her. I used to cry profusely. I cried here too, while listening to songs. Then someone asked, “Why do you listen to this song?”

Which song did you listen to?

That ‘mother’.

Ok. When missed her badly, I cooked chillies and keep sobbing. Then Salman would come. I would wipe my tears and sit. I would start laughing. I would take him along for a smoke.

I went to Mumbai in between, and I went to Delhi.

How long were you in Delhi?

Three months. I was there for three whole months.

What did you do there?

I did not stay at the station.

Then?

Lal Quila stop. I travelled in the metro.

Yes? Yes. I was sometimes thrashed in the metro.

How? The guard thrashed me.

Oh.

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The guards thrashed me but I travelled. I used to enter with another passenger as soon as the gate opened. Then I got down at Kashmiri Gate and went to LalQuila.

How did you arrange for money in Delhi?

The same thing- I used to beg.

From where?

There, where everyone begs- Jama Masjid. There are many people there.

Where all did you go in Delhi?

There are many places where you can get alms like in the temples, in mosques. You will get money if you go and sit there. I have gone to Jama Masjid only. After that, I returned to Patna junction. Then I went to Delhi again with an NGO. Oh! So you went to Delhi again?

Yes. Then I remembered that when I came alone, I had to beg and now that I had come with an organisation, I was buying and eating food. After that, they took us to various places. There is an organisation that called the children. We all stayed in a hotel in Delhi. We did not tour places. It was an A.C. room. It was overwhelming to think that I used to sleep in the heat at the station before and now I was sleeping in an A.C. room.

Why did you leave Delhi and come back to Patna junction?

Doesn’t it happen that you feel like it sometimes? I had the license- I was an orphan. Anyone who saw me would say, “Oh, he is an orphan! Give him a rupee or two.” Even the police used to say so. I came to know why they call me orphan when I came in contact with an NGO here.

When some called me an orphan earlier, I used to get angry at him and hit him with any object and say, “You too are an orphan.”

Who used to say so?

The people at the station. When NGO people told me what it is, then I felt better. I felt this was wrong, but I kept mum. It was when I went to them that I told them about my family. I was famous there too.

Tell us how it was when police locked you up for a month in the remand home?

It was a jail. I have been to a remand home several times. I left it. I had been in Phulwari too. I left that too. No, they used to catch me. I used to talk straight. They caught me in the morning, referred me to a remand home in the evening and freed me, later. I went like that. When I used to go, I used to go on Thursdays and be scot-free on Fridays. I don’t understand; it was my luck.

When I became 12, I went there. The judge said, “Why Shubham? You have come again!” I said, “What to do? Do I do it? These people get me in here.” He said, “Who gets you here?” I said, “This guy.” He said, “Are you mad? Don’t you see he is branded?”

We were branded. He added, “Let him stay at the station for a year then get him here and let him free. There’s no problem.”

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Why one year?

That’s because we are branded. You are branded when you go to jail and he is not put back into jail even if he does anything during that time. No, you will definitely get punished for the crime but you will not be put into jail. If you are found guilty, you will be punished but not be sent to jail. They guarantee that. When I went to Phulwari the fifth time, I was kept there for a month. They said, “Send him to Phulwari and no one will free him from there.”

So, the police that caught you, beat you as well?

Yes, they beat me up. I have been thrashed too much. My body has become resistant. If anyone hits me, I don’t come to know he has. My body has become resistant. They used to thrash me so much. Have you seen the current stick?

No, I haven’t seen it.

It is that it is charged. I mean that is charged. It is hot plastic. It is broken into two like this and then charged. It is doubled edged. When it is charged, they open it from here and it is white like a tube-light. Ok, it must be brighter than this (pointing to the tube light in the room). It is absolutely hot. Don’t you see when there is an election to give votes and then, they lathi-charge you? They hit like that. When they hit me with that stick, my hand stopped functioning. I mean, you see- I don’t feel anything here. Even if you hit me with a stone I can’t feel anything here.

They hit me here and at the back.

I had been to an organisation before, so I knew the name of this organisation. I knew that there was no place for me in that organisation. I was thinking what to do now. I was hoping that I get some support. I went to the shop and saw the didis and they spoke to us. I was gambling at that time. There were others too. Then, we met again after a few days and I said yes to them and started collecting bottles.

Story 17: Broken Family, Grieving heart and a Life Led Alone Salman’s narration shows he does not understand why his mother was burnt alive. He reveals that the relationship between his mother and father were strained. He cannot fully explain his father’s absence even when they were all alone on the streets. His father comes to meet him at the home. He joined the home after living in remand homes, vocational center and day center.

His decision to stay here is governed by the fact that he gets to study here.

Salman tells his story When I was young, I was at home with my mother and father. We were four brothers and three sisters. Two sisters had died and one brother too.

And where did you stay?

My house was in the city but we stayed on rent in Phulwari. I mean in Patna, but Phulwari is nearby. Then I studied in a nearby school for two to three months. Then a snake emerged from that school premises so it got shut down and my studies were discontinued. Then I did not go to school. I started learning a skill- cycle repairing. I worked there for two to three months and left.

There my maternal grandmother came and took me to my maternal uncle. He has a brassiere factory. My mother had sent me there before. She said I should stay there and learn. I started 66

staying there. One day, I heard that mummy was burnt alive. I started howling. I asked how it had happened. My brother said, my father, who was used to drinking was drunk and did not want to eat stale food. My mother hadn’t cooked food. She asked him to eat stale food. So my father got angry and abused her. She got angry too and locked herself in and lit fire. After the fire grew, the door could not be opened from outside. People broke the door open and my father went in with a blanket. His eye caught fire and his hands caught fire. After that he was taken to the hospital. My father’s sister was there so he was admitted at the hospital. He stayed there till Monday evening. She became alright by Monday evening but the next Monday she succumbed to the burns. We cremated her after that.

Then my aunt said now that the boy had learnt a skill, he will feed the father. After that, there was a scuffle between my uncle and my father. Hence, both of them hate each other. Then my uncle drove me out of his house and we came to Gandhinagar. We stayed there for a few days.

My father worked there at the railway station. So did I. One day my brother ran away from the station. I stayed at the station for a few days. 6-7 months later, I met my brother. I asked him where he had gone and he said my paternal aunt had taken him along. Then he asked me about my sister. I said a veiled woman came and there was a man on a bike. They took her away.

We started collecting bottles. When we went to collect bottles the first day, one boy said, “Are you collecting bottles?” He gave me filled bottles. We earned more; so we started selling filled bottles. Then I went to Patna, stayed there for a few days and came back.

Where did you stay?

There is a children’s organisation at the station. It is open for all the children at the railway station during the day. Children can eat but they did not work for the long term career of these children. Then I ran away from there. I stole a lot number of times and I got caught once…

They put me in jail for two months and then I was released. Bhaiya (of the organisation at the railway station) came to release me. He took me to an electric shop. I worked there for 1 ½ months. I didn’t feel like working as he gave me rupees 1500 per month. I ran and I stayed at the station for a few days. Then, one boy said, “Will you come there? A new center has opened.

You will get education.” I said, “Who will take us?” He said, “One didi will come. She will take you.” I said, “When will she come?” He said, “She came today. Now she is gone. She will come tomorrow.”

You told that someone took your sister away on a bike. Then what happened?

He took my sister away. And my brother was taken away by a woman who said, her home was in Bengal. He stayed there for a few days. She used to beg. She treated him as her son. I saw her with him. She felt I will take my brother away so, she started shouting.

Did you look for her?

I inquired about her in the city. Everyone said there is no such woman. I looked for her at the station. I couldn’t find her there either. I went till Bihar to locate her. After that, I got into drugs.

I saw someone having it. My friend used to do it. He asked me to try. He said, “If you have this, you will not feel the pain when a constable beats you.”

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So, the constables thrash you too much?

Yes. Like there’s a boy earning money by selling used bottles on the street. Like he fills one sack; he gets money per kg of bottles. Others snatch what he earns and also say he has earned less.

These are the older boys who take drugs. I hid it in my sack, in my collar and in my pockets so no one snatches it from me. Then I started saving it.

Where did you save it?

In the day-care center.

And you went to sleep at the night shelter?

Sometimes, as there were too many trains- on Tuesday and Friday- those days we got many bottles and even money. So we worked through the night. We didn’t sleep those two days and went there to sleep during the day. On other days we worked and went to that school when it opened.

In an interview with the caregiver of the vocational training center, where Salman lived before, many doubts are cleared. The caregiver narrated that Salman’s mother belonged to a rich family and his father was poor. Theirs was a love marriage. A few months into the marriage, the father started beating her and she endured silently. She would always tell her father, when he came to meet her, that they were a happy couple. But the relationship became very bitter and she committed suicide one day. After he came to the vocational training center, the caregiver took Salman to his maternal grandparents in order to restore him. The grandparents wanted to keep him but the maternal uncle refused. From then on, Salman came and stayed at the vocational training center.

Story 18: Negotiating one’s Space in a Strained Parental Relationship Hanif remembers his mother and father’s strained relationship that led to the breakdown of the family. He remembers he was made to work by his step-mother in his father’s absence. He never complained to his father but did not like it there. Now he goes to visit his father sometimes.

Hanif tells his story I used to stay at the station and went home sometimes. Once, mummy left me and married another man. We felt very sad. Then nani brought us to the station and we started living there.

Tell us about yourself before your mother married again.

Mummy used to go to beg. Papa used to tell us to bring iron lying around. We used to accompany our mother and father to beg.

How did you get a space there (at the leprosy center)?

My nana was a leper.

A man came to my mother and she ran away with him.

Why? Because my father beat her.

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How many of you were there?

Two brothers and three sisters. When mummy ran away, she took away two sisters and two brothers and one sister remained with papa. After a few days, papa started a cart.

What cart?

Leper mobile cart. He used to take nana on that for some days to beg. We never did anything.

Papa used to do that. Nani died and we were there- papa, mummy and us.

So papa married again?

Yes. When?

5-6 months after mummy ran away.

What did you do when papa went away?

We stayed with mummy. We helped her in cooking.

When did you start picking iron scrap?

When the flyover was being constructed, we collected scrap that fell from that. There was no money at home. I thought, “How can I help my parents?� When I saw this, I started collecting iron scrap.

Did the police ever catch you?

Yes. They caught me and I ran.

What did they do when they caught you?

He abused, thrashed and put us in a lock-up.

Where did he lock you up?

Not in the lock-up, in the guard room, beside the lock-up, the room below the flyover, where the guard sat.

How was it with your new mother?

I went home and ran outside. Mummy asked me to do something for her and I refused. She got angry and started beating me and I hit her back. Papa came in sometime and got me released and beat me too. I said I will not stay here now. Then I slept and did not get food. I used to go to my friends and eat there and watch TV. Then he understood that he will not be able to keep us well, so he thought we would be better in a home. We would stay happy and study.

When mummy was home, we went out to play but we did not get food when we returned. She asked us to work and we did not and she beat us up.

Who beat you?

Mummy beat us up when we did not work. Then we started working and she listened to us.

Then didi came and she told us of the hostel.

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What did you do at home?

We cooked food, washed utensils, washed clothes and everyone had to do it. All three brothers and sisters did it. Mummy never washed. Everyone worked.

My mummy used to come and ask the new mummy, “Where have you come from?” She came to see that the woman asked the children to work. Then she started fighting. We came to the station and mummy came to the station with didi and we came here. Then papa came to take us back home, but we refused. He said he would keep us for some days and he returned us after that.

We did not feel good at home. We stayed there with much difficulty and had to collect scrap, so we said we will not go there.

Story 19: Separated by Accident, Alone for Life Munna is 16 years old. He came back here in 2014. He worked at a cycle repair center before this but it did not pay him well. Now he is learning another trade so that he may earn better wages.

Manoj tells his story I was going to nani’s house in the train and I got separated from my family at the station.

Where was her house?

In Benaras. No it’s ahead of that. I have a sister and three brothers.

So they thought you will take the train on your own?

No I was not that old.

How were you separated?

Papa and mummy were buying the ticket and I got on to the train and the train started rolling.

That was another train.

Why didn’t you get down?

I couldn’t get down from a moving train.

So what happened?

The train stopped after 5-6 stations and I got down. The train didn’t stop before that. The train I took went further on.

How old were you?

3-4 years.

Nobody asked?

I said I have to go further to Benaras. He told me to get on a train. I got onto that and I reached Punjab and then I took a return train and reached Kolkata. I worked there.

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How many days were you there?

8 years.

How many days did you look for your parents?

15-20 days.

And food?

I used to ask the canteen people and they gave me food.

And sleeping?

In the train. If I couldn’t earn I would collect bottles. I sold it to the junk seller.

How did you start this?

Someone told me that if I wanted to earn money, I should start collecting bottles.

There were older boys too?

Yes, there were many.

Did they treat you as a younger brother?

Everyone took drugs and gambled- all of them.

Were there any older ones who took you in?

I have stayed like that with people. I stayed with some 10-15 people but I didn’t like it there.

I stayed with them for 1 year, 6 months or so.

So how did they take you to their house?

I would sit at the station. I would say I can’t find my home. They said, “Come and stay with us.”

I went and stayed till I liked and then I ran away.

How long did you stay with people?

I stayed there for 1 ½ years. It was nice initially but then they gave me cattle to graze and I ran away from there.

Did they give you food?

Yes. Why did you run?

What if the cattle ran away?

Did they beat you?

No, I got beaten here, in the remand home. I stayed there for 3 years.

Who beats?

The staff.

Every day?

No. I spent time in the train too.

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Do you remember the names of the stations?

Delhi, Mumbai, Patna, Haryana, Panipat.

Did you know how to read?

I asked others.

Which station did you go to the maximum number of times?

Delhi and Kolkata.

Why? I thought I would find my home. I would get on the Express, any train that went to Benaras. I told someone and they told me to get on but it didn’t go to Benaras. I reached Patna. I was returning from Kathiar. The police saw me and asked for a ticket. I didn’t have one so the police caught me.

Photo: One of the platform outside the railway station, where Manoj waited

Where did they take you?

To the police station.

Then?

Then they transferred me to a remand home. Then I was sent to another.

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How many children were there?

20-30- they sent the children away after 1 month.

How was it there?

The staff stays outside and the children, inside.

How did you spend time there?

I would sit in a corner and sleep. I was sent to another remand home after that.

Who were your friends?

Vicky, Salman, Shubham.

So these children are friendly and naughty. Did you do anything together?

We planned to run away from there.

Ok. What was the plan?

We planned with the other four too; but the rest of them ran away.

What was the plan?

They cut the grill. They were in one room and the staff sent me to another. He latched me and them from outside. It was a window grill. They stole the blade from the mason who came for repair work.

Why did they separate you?

They said, “Your room is that one- for 10 children.� 8 children from their room ran away. He said that I was the monitor of that room.

Oh! So you would have understood you could run at all?

No. Then I ran away after 2-3 months- through the gutter.

How? There is a tall building; about 5 floors. From that balcony, I climbed down the gutter pipe. Then I escaped from one roof to another.

You were alone?

We were 3 children.

How long did you stay there?

2 years.

What all did you do there?

10:00-12:00 noon they teach. Then food, TV, snacks, games, food and sleep. They used to ask us to sleep at 7:00 pm. The older boys watched TV and send the younger ones inside.

And if there is some in-fighting?

Staff makes them sleep.

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They made you work?

Yes, sweeping, mopping, cooking, washing dishes, clothes.

Did you study?

I went to high school. They shut that. That was a private school. I went for 1 year, to class 1. Then 3 children ran away and they stopped us from going out. Now they have raised the wall to 8 bricks. Even then the children run away.

And education?

Inside.

Do you remember anyone’s name in your family?

Yes. And your village?

I knew but I have forgotten everything now after staying at the station.

Where did you go after you ran?

We took a train to Kathiar. Their home was there. They went there.

And you?

I returned.

He didn’t keep you with him?

He said, “I have a home. You come and stay with me.” But I came back to the station.

Why? How could I? They have a different language.

And when you reached here?

I met my friends here and stayed with them.

Who were they?

I can’t say. We played and gambled. If we won, then we watched movie. The ticket cost 50-60 rupees. Earlier it cost 15-20, then, it became 30 and then, 50. 3-4 of us used to go.

How was the police?

If he caught us, he asked for money. If we gave, they left us or they took us to the police station.

What will he do after that?

He would put us in the remand home. I saw children giving money to him- 500-600 rupees.

Where do you run to save yourself from the police?

We ran away from the platform. We hid in the shed of the platform. We used to sleep there.

Did the others boys keep a blade?

Yes. You can stick it in your palm and hide it in your mouth. He was teaching me to pick- pocket, I refused. I was caught once, when I was doing it.

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How do you make enough money to sustain yourself?

I checked the train cars and found a purse or material.

Did you find any good person?

I met one. She asked me to come along. I felt she might sell me there. People around me told me that they might sell me off.

But you liked her?

Yes. I met one more at Delhi. She said, “Come with me, work and live.” I saw them so many times at the station. I thought, they themselves were at the station how could they keep me? I stayed at three places in Kolkata, then, I ran away from there. I went to someone’s house. I asked him for money and said I wanted to go away. They spoke in Bengali and I couldn’t understand. I didn’t like the food there.

What made you run from there?

I couldn’t understand their language. There was a lot of work. He asked me to get material from far and I didn’t understand where to go and how to ask. I could sleep at 11:00 pm and wake up at 7:00 am. I left drugs etc. I had no money. They gave food, but no money. They gave me money at the station- Rupees 2500. He gave food as well. There was a lot of workcleaning the hotel, cleaning tables, washing dishes. We were three. We had to get water from somewhere. There was no tap there.

So, when you were so young, no adult took you in?

There was one who kept me with him. He made me do farming. He had a large house. He gave good food.

Did any other person help?

Two places in Kolkata. At one place they had two children and I had to take care of the children, so I ran away. Once, someone from the slums took me with him. There was a lot of work there. I thought I could do this much at the station and earn better. The children sell tobacco.

They carry a large bag and steal purses and go to the toilet and take money and throw the purses. Once, a boy showed me how it is done. Once, I was almost caught. The moment he saw me, I said, “Your purse has fallen off.” Once, I caught a mobile and he looked back and I said, “It has fallen off.” I have snatched things from a moving train.

First we got chunapaani, bonfix and whitener. Earlier, we got a big bottle for 20 rupees but now a little pen costs 30 rupees.

Why do children take drugs?

That’s because they see people doing it around them. People tell you that it causes all headache to vanish. It can give you strength. If you don’t, then they will force you. And if you don’t, then they will ask you to buy it for them.

What about cleanliness?

They remain dirty. When they see that the clothes are dirty, they steal them.

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From where?But don’t they take a bath?

No, they take a bath where trains are washed.

And soap?

They buy.

How often?

15-20 days.

And in winters?

1 month.

What ails them?

Diarrhea is very common. This happened once. They didn’t take a bath for 1-2 months and almost all of them got this. The body doesn’t feel active and we keep sleeping. We feel weak.

The wound becomes large.

What do you do?

There were many who stole bags and wear clothes if good, or else, they would sell the bag.

Where do you take medicines from, when you fall sick?

There is one on platform number 1. So many children do not tell. They give medicine for money.

And common ailments?

They don’t rest. If they don’t pick garbage, then they eat at the temple and beg for alms. Even I was unwell so many times. I would sleep in an empty train.

If it is winter?

We take a blanket.

Where is this blanket?

We steal.

Then?

We sleep like that. We feel cold but we have layers of grime that we don’t feel cold.

Story 20: Defeated by Memory, Bound by Love Sujoy remembers his life from when he was 12 years old. The care giver shared that he had memory loss and was treated for it at the psychology center. This memory loss would probably subside as he grows older. He would forget many things he was taught, even when he was in the vocational training with the care giver.

He worked hard to become a tailor and works in a boutique now and earns well. He is married and has a family. He said people thought he could never do anything as he was a street child.

He says, “Many people say that those who lick the plates at the station can do nothing but if someone wants to, he can do a lot of things.”

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Sujoy tells his story I was very young when I came to Patna. My mausi or nani stayed here and we came to them.

They came to us many times but we went for the first time. I got lost at the temple and couldn’t find her. Then, I stayed at the station for two days and met many boys staying there. They asked me what had happened and I told them. They took me to the night shelter.

Bhaiya took me to the night center and wrote a report there. They asked me what had happened and I told them that I had lost contact with my mother. I did not remember where my house was.

I was lost. Then, another boy took me to the day center. It was open and there were young people there. There is a good facility and we got a snack at 3:00 if we studied there. There are not many trains in the morning, so we could pass our time. I liked to study and we saw TV as well. Then we got snacks. Our clothes were dirty. We could take a bath. Earlier, we took a bath in the open and the police beat us. Now we got a space to bathe. We went to the day center; bathed, ate and enjoyed. We would be there till 5:00 pm. Bhaiya would leave us there. Then we came to the station. This is how it went. Then bhaiya and others asked us what happened with the money we earned. We said, “It gets spent.” Then he took money from us and saved it.

He asked us what we did with the money. We used to spend it on Bonfix- it gives a high. I got that addiction. I took that sometimes and also gambled. When I went to the center, bhaiya would ask for 3 rupees and I would never give. He would say that I should also contribute as others. Children save a portion of what they earn. I understood and started saving in the account-sometimes 500 rupees, sometimes 700 rupees. I did this gradually by selling the bottles. It went on till when bhaiya came and said they were going to open a center. They asked us if we wanted to learn something new.

We were the first ones. Twenty people could go and we were the first thirteen who went there.

We were afraid they would slosh out our eyes and that we might get into bad company. We had heard that that’s what people do. The older boys scared the younger ones on how the institutions do- they sell off people. Then I got used to it. Then I saw that this was not so. That they did not do like this. They have been meeting us for so long. So, we went.

How long did you stay at the station?

For six months. Then from the station to the training center and then I ran away for four-five months. Bhaiyadid not take in those children who would run in and out of the center. Then he met me one day and asked if I wanted to reform. I couldn’t express my problems to him so I complained that there is no TV and no dish, that you don’t let us watch movies. Then the older bhaiya said, “Come, we will show you movies as well.”

Did you make friends with other children at the station?

I had many friends- at least 10-12. There were two girls in that group and I was the youngest.

I stayed away from ruffians.

How did you do that?

Like they have a haunt, an area; I did not go there. Why would I? I would stay at another place.

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So how were these areas divided?

See, they stay on platform number 5 so, lesser number of people go there. They pick pockets there. We don’t go there as they will get us involved in something.

So, was this not a closely bound group?

Yes, this is what I was trying to explain. There were various children involved in many activities.

Yes. We felt nice to sleep there. We thought if we sleep at the station, the police would hit us.

The police would come in the morning and say, “Babu come and sweep the station.” And if you are caught, then you are made to sweep and even mop the police station. It was better to go to the home. You got food and a place to sleep. They left us at 7:00 am anyway. And what’s wrong with not picking bottles and checking trains? We thought like that.

Why do you think the boys came on to the street and why did the girls come?

For the boys, if they have not studied or they are in dire need, have run away, they needed to earn money to return home. For children who sell bottles, sell paper and earn 200 rupees per day- it could be because of poverty but I can’t say much about the girls as I was very young at that time. It was different. They had parents and they picked garbage with them.

Tell us about your routine.

Don’t ask me about my routine. Some days I would wake up at 5:00 am and sell tea at the train.

I would get 50 rupees if I sold all tea in the container. If I sold datum (twigs for brushing teeth), I would get certain money. We would keep our money and give the rest to the owner. We even sold the bottles and filled the bottles with water and sold. Sometimes, the police also caught us in the morning while we were asleep and asked us to do begaari(work for free). It used to happen sometimes that a child would be crying and we would ask what had happened. They said, “The police have beaten us. They have snatched our money; all that we had earned during the day.” Sometimes I would offer money and say, “Return it to me tomorrow.” I felt angry. They snatched away our money but we had to lead our life like that. People are even afraid of children on the street. If there is an abandoned child at the station, they think he is a thief and will snatch their belongings. That he may have other companions along with him, so it is better to avoid him. They don’t understand that the child is hungry, is helpless. They are concerned about themselves. They don’t even bother. I see that they even announce at the platform, “Don’t touch orphan children. Beware. Do not touch unidentified objects.” What will happen if they touch the child? Will they have an infection? Is it a crime to help the orphan? They themselves give such advertisements, then how will the people come forward and help? Had I been at the station today, no one would have reassured me or taken care of me. Children see others and learn.

They learn if there is someone to teach.

Why do children beg?

They do so because the mother is unable to give them food. The child sees there is a temple or mosque nearby, sees another child begging and starts begging and eating and gets into the habit of doing so. I get so much…This is how he becomes helpless. He sees things around him and doesn’t feel they are bad as they are happening around him. For example, people are taking drugs or they are gambling.

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Story 21: Suffering, Endurance and Alleviation Rajan always wanted to study and do something. He knew he was not meant to work on the streets. His poverty led him to work on the streets but he kept his money aside to study and buy books even when he was on the streets.

Now, he owns a tailoring shop and works as a childline (programme for rescue of children) volunteer at night. He says his own experiences help him understand the abandoned child and he feels he can give them the support and direction that he got from the caregivers at the vocational training center.

Rajan tells his story My parents stayed here in Patna and they had a small shop in Mithapur. We stayed here.

When I was 7 years old, we went to the village. My aunt had expired. We went there and my father did not return. He started working there, so I had to leave my studies. My nani was in Patna. I stayed, studied and worked there. My father died when I was 9 years old. After that, we stayed here and there for a few days. We stayed at the village too. I studied intermittently.

At around 12 or 13 years, I joined this organisation. I completed my studies and took vocational training. We had a fruit shop, not very big but a shop.

Do you have land in the village?

No, we didn’t . My papa had a tea and snack shop in the village.

You went to your paternal uncle?

Yes. They had two daughters and two sons.

How many were you?

Five brothers. Two older- of whom, one died. When I went to the village, my cousin sister got me admitted to school. My father died. He fell off the roof while our house was being constructed.

He had a fracture and he died after 2 months. We started working after our father died. There was a general store there. We went for tuition too. My mother and one brother went to nani and my brother and I came to Patna. He admitted me to school. He paid for me out of the income from his shop here.

How did you join this organisation?

My brother died. Then my mother and brother came to Patna from nani’s village. Then we stayed here on rent for some days. Then there were some family disputes. My brother got married. Then my mother went to the village and started making envelopes. Then we came to the station. Bhaiya spotted me and came to my mother. When my mother went to the village, I came on to the streets. I started selling sweets, namkeen (savoury items) etc. I would sell it at the station to passengers sitting in the train. I remained at the station and sold things. I stayed at the station for the day and sold stuff and went to the rented space to sleep at night. I saved the money for buying material the next day and spent the rest.

How much did you need for the stuff?

At that time, I could buy it in 100 rupees. And I could make Rupees 100, 300, 400. I sold packets for 10, 20 after weighing them.

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Who gave you the balance?

The fruit shop owner.

Earlier, I used to sell it on the road. Then I started selling it at the station. (When I sold it on the roads)‌I used to walk so many kilometers. Actually, when I went on the road, I used to go at 8:00 am and come back at 5:00 pm. When I went to the station, I could do this in 2-3 hours.

Actually, at that time, I really wanted to study. When I went to the station, I did not miss my classes in the evening. I paid separately for that coaching.

How much did you pay?

150 rupees for the book and I bought the notebooks.

You even went to Mumbai. What happened at Mumbai?

I did not know anyone there and something strange happened. I met Muslim people. They took me along and taught me zari (golden thread embroidery)work. But I did not like that work and I did not like the food there. I met them in the train and stayed with them for a week. Then I ran away from there and started working at a hotel. I washed utensils for about two months there.

There was a waiter who could not calculate bills there and I could do that easily, so they kept me as a waiter. I stayed there for a year. They kept me with them. They said they will take me along even if the hotel closes down. But I did not like it there as I was far away from the family.

Then, when the hotel was sold to someone else, I was relieved. They were four partners and they did not get along well; so that hotel was closed down.

How did you keep yourself aloof from any kind of addiction?

I thought I was unlike others. Our caste people do not even take garlic and onion. Another reason was that I did not want to spend my money on that.

After coming back, I stayed here, then went back home for a few days and then started thinking that I will have to do something now as I cannot study. I thought I should do some training. Then I took raining in stitching.

Story 22: Distanced by Language, Restored by Care Samar ran away from home for fear of being scolded. He never realised he would not return home. He spoke Bengali and no one understood when he told them where he had come from. It took him one year to convey to the caregivers that he belonged to a village in West Bengal. He was restored soon after that but he decided to come back, for he thought he could not progress in the village.

Samar tells his story I was about 5-6 years old then. I was studying at school. I had a fight with a boy in the school.

I thought I will be beaten at home. There was a train nearby. I got onto that and thought I will return at night. Then I kept getting on and off trains but I never returned. I did not know Patna.

I did not know Hindi. I knew only Bengali. Then I came at Patna station and I was hungry. I went to a hotel. He gave me work and I slept there for four to five days. A boy named Mumbaiya brought me here.

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How many trains did you change?

I would have reached four-five places. I don’t remember the places. I boarded train by train, stood at the station and boarded somewhere and reached somewhere else.

How did you reach Patna?

I didn’t even know that it was Patna. I got to know about it from others. Someone said we had reached Patna and I came to know that it is Patna. I had never heard this name before. When I had come before; while wandering on the trains, I had heard of Patna. I did not know Hindi; I knew Bengali. I did not know this was Patna and I did not reach here on my own. There was a boy named Mumbaiya. He brought me with him. He brought me to Child line. He told me I would get everything here and that I could do what I wanted to. There was one specialty in that boy- he is still on the street and hasn’t been able to change himself but has shown a way to many like him. He brought me here; otherwise I would be working in that same hotel till date.

I got down the train. It was a big station. I was tired. I was fortunate I met this boy who said, “Brother there is such and such a place. Would you like to go there?” I trusted him and came along.

What was the fight about at school?

It was between my friend and me. It was about a copy etc. I was scared that mummy and papa would scold. My father used to thrash me hard. Even if I made a small mistake, he would thrash me hard. We are three brothers. One is older to me and one younger. I was the naughtiest, so he beat me a lot.

How much did you have to work at home?

All three of us studied. My younger brother did not go. Both of us went to nursery class in a government school.

What did your parents do?

We grew vegetables on our land and sold it in the market. My other two brothers worked as masons. And the younger brother is taking care of the family.

When you ran away from the village, you remembered all the names etc.?

Yes, I remembered everything.

You didn’t ask for help from anyone?

I would have, had anyone known what I spoke. My Bengali did not match the Kolkata Bengali.

The people felt that I was saying something, but they could not understand.

How did you tell the hotel owner that you wanted work?

I said in Bengali and he ushered me in to wash the plates.

And the police?

I did not come in contact with them.

You slept alone at the station?

No; there were three to four other boys as well. I did not make friends with them as I did not 81

know their language. Even at the hotel, the owner would scold me. I would know from his tone and understand. He would never beat me. He never gave me leftovers. He gave me fresh food.

Why did you sleep at the station? Why not at the hotel?

I did not like to sleep at the hotel. I did not know anyone and there were so many boys there.

So, I used to sleep at the station. It was summer and there was ample breeze there. There is a fan at the platform. Rest of the children slept in a room behind the hotel. It was a small roomabout 7 feet and 4 to 5 of them slept there.

What else did you do at the station?

Nothing, I just loitered around. I got along with no one as no one knew my language. I worked for two days at the hotel then the hotel owner got me a new set of clothes. I got in touch with Mumbaiya and I came to the Child line office. The office was a little away from the railway station.

How did you understand what he said?

I understood his gestures. Even today, when I meet Mumbaiya, I meet him with fondness.

Whatever he might be, he got me till here. Then I reached Patliputra where children below 13 stayed. I stayed there for one year. I went to school from there. I had to get up at 6:00 am and go to school at 7:00 am. I was there for one month and was then admitted to school. I did a bridge course there. They did not send one immediately from there. They sent us after training us for some time.

So you learnt the language at Patliputra?

Yes, I learnt it there. The first ten days I felt strange. I sat alone and ate alone.

I felt sad. What to do when I couldn’t find my house? I would cry every evening and there was no one with me. There was a boy in Patliputra. His name was Romaan. He was from Bangladesh.

We stayed together. Our language was different but we could understand each other as it was somewhat similar. He helped me there. I cried with him. I talked to him there. There I was a good boy. They were fond of me there. There was a didi who cared for me like a mother. She would tell me to eat, get ready and talk to me. The other boys were naughty there but I was quiet.

Then slowly, I learnt the language and I forgot Bangla. I learnt Hindi very well in about a year.

When I went back to my village, they made fun of me that I have turned into a Bihari.

I felt good while I was going back but I did not feel good when I started staying there. I could not speak Bangla at home and asked for everything in Hindi. All my family members spoke in another language and I felt stifled. Then I stayed there, and then at the school and then back to Patna.

Now that they found you after one year- what had happened in this one year?

A lot of money was wasted in looking for me. They performed votive prayers at three-four religious places for my coming back. They prayed to God for my return. A lot of money was spent in searching for me. It had been 2-3 years since I was lost. My father had become diabetic. My grandfather had expired. Then things became fine, after I returned.

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When so much money was spent looking for you, the situation at home must have worsened?

No, it was not like that. We had our land. But all seemed sad now. They had lost all hope. My grandfather would hug even a dog saying I had come back. Then everything became alright.

All the village folks were watching when I came back.

I don’t understand why you had come back when your family was so happy to have you back?

I had run on my own accord. There was no problem at home, as such. I said I will not stay here.

I will go back to Patna. I thought I will not study here. I will go back to Patna, go to Child line and VT center and learn a trade.

You were eight?

No, I stayed at the village for some three years. There was another problem. I started gambling in my village. There was another problem. I had missed two years of school and the rest of the children were two years ahead of me at school. After that, it cost 2 rupees to go to school. I would not give two rupees and would gamble instead. Then I would be beaten badly. Due to this habit, people at home started having problems. When I go to the village, I feel very odd to see men sitting and whiling away their time. I was not like that. That day, I left home for tuition.

I did not go there and got on the train and reached Patna. Then I started studying here, as well as went for labour work. I was addicted to gambling and knew this was wrong and I knew it will be better if I went to the VT center. I was sure that the people at the VT Center would definitely do something for me.

How many days did you take to relearn Bangla?

In 1-2 months. I speak in Bangla even when I go there today. But I inadvertently speak in Hindi too.

Story 23: Seeking Family, Negotiating Identity Abdul ran away from home when he was very young. He recalls the countless experiences in the railway stations, remand homes and streets. He is looking for his family now and he wants to integrate as his family is a part of his identity. He goes once every year to the place where his family stayed and is hopeful that he will find them one day.

Abdul tells his story I don’t remember how old I was but I left from home to the station. There was a train, I got on to that and it took me to Mumbai. I stayed in Mumbai for many years. At the station, I saw many children. I made friends with them. I started doing what they did- begging, sweeping and taking drugs. After all this, we had a large group- we went in the train and worked- then watched cinema. Then GRP police came in Itarsi and questioned us. Then they did an inquiry and put us into remand homes. We stayed there for many years- about 2 years, went to Kanpur, then Ujjain. 6 years in Ujjain, 2 years in Kanpur and then came here. I was about 14 years when I came here.

Then what happened?

I stayed in the remand home for a week. I had to search for my home. I talked to Deepak. He 83

said he would find my home. I was fond of stitching so I started doing that. Then I talked to bhaiya. He took me to the center first, then to the remand home. No, he took me from remand home to VT center.

What did you do when you were young?

I picked garbage. My family was also in that work. I had a mother, father, brother and myself…

There was a tragedy due to which I went away. After that I repented, cried profusely and wanted to go back home. I went back home, but it was useless.

I understand there is some family issue.

Actually my father had, I suppose, married someone else. I did not understand. I was too young.

Someone told me that someone else is my father. When I went back home I did not want to study or work. Mummy got me admitted in a madrassa. I went there and I wanted to go to school but my mother did not put me in a school. She put me to work. I started picking garbage.

Then papa used to come and thrash me, so I left home. It might be true. I don’t know. Someone told me my father’s name and I remember that till date.

Did you have any plans such as running away then and returning later?

No, there was no such plan. I went out of the house and got on the train. I didn’t know this was Mumbai. I had never been there. I went out for the first time. There were so many boys and girls. I met them for the first time and made friends with them. I stayed there for at least two years; not more than that. I have been betrayed several times. I was going somewhere and I landed up somewhere else. I begged in the train and earned money, slept in the train. I don’t even remember whether it was day or night when I reached there. I was famished. There was no source of getting food so I started asking for money. I did not know what to do. I adjusted to the situation around. I was hungry. I had to eat but I was helpless as I could not ask anyone for food as they would say, “Get lost. Get lost.” Good people see us and ask us to move away.

Those that are not good verbally abuse us or beat us or take us to the police.

There were around 25 boys when I was there. There were around 10-12 homes for girls near the station- the night homes.

How did you save yourself from getting beaten?

We did not save ourselves. We got thrashed. Whatever we earned, we earned out of picking garbage, bottles or begging. There was a girl. Her age was 17-18; she used to take care of us all. We called her didi. When we fell sick at odd hours, she used to take us to the hospital and get us admitted. I haven’t forgotten her till date. I remember her face.

Why did the boys and girls stay together in a group?

Even I don’t know this but I know when we stayed together, we did not face any trouble. And we faced problems when we were not together.

What problems?

Like when we were together, and the police came, we would shout and announce it to the others.

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What kind of problems does one face when one stays at the station?

It is tough to plan for the day- where to go, what to do, which train arrives when and which number platform and if police comes, you have to leave everything and run. There’s fear of the police, local people. The biggest fear with people is that they see us in a wrong light and don’t trust us.

Why do you say this?

That’s because when someone stays at the station, no one understands what compelled him to do so. No one asks the question- Why do we beg? There must be some reason that we beg.

What do people at the station say?

Someone hurls abuses. If someone is caught stealing, he has to be punished. If our hand touches the pocket of someone crossing, they catch hold of us as if we were stealing. This has happened with me and with many children and then they hand them over to the police. That boy pleaded that he hadn’t stolen but they didn’t listen. Police knows too that for the child at the station, it is hard to get money if he doesn’t steal.

Where does one get drugs from?

We get it on the station at the stationery store. We used to get the chuna-paanithat we put in the hanky and sniff. Now there is no need but when we were at the station, we used to get tired and were thrashed by the police. It would pain, so we took drugs to feel numb. All the pain vanished. We went to watch movies like that.

What if we want the child to persuade to leave drugs?

If you want to do so, you ask the child’s demands first, listen to what he wants and understand what he says. Then that problem will be solved and then talk to him about what he is thinking.

If he raises a demand and you cannot fulfill it, then it cannot happen. So it is important to listen to his problems first.

I have stayed in a father’s home before. I stayed there for some time. It was nice there. That was a Christian home. I stayed there for 5 months.

Why did you leave it?

They made khichdi there and I did not like it.

What about on the station?

Solution, gutkha, cigarette and what we wanted to eat. I liked that better than here as they used to love us like our guardians. They used to listen to us and help. I felt at peace. But I did not like it there because after staying at the station, I did not like to stay at one place. Then I came to the remand home and remembered that place. I felt it would have been very nice had I stayed there. I stayed in 4-5 remand homes in Itarsi.

How were these remand homes?

Like a jail. They made us inmates. We had uniforms. We were taught inside the remand home, we couldn’t go out. When we came here, we could go out. We got everything inside, even food

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but that was not proper. I mean the roti would be uncooked; it could be anger or infighting but we did not get good food. I stayed for 5-6 years in Ujjain homes. Had water and food in broken glass and plates and was thrashed badly.

Who beats?

The staff.

Why did the staff beat you all?

Because someone would steal and they got caught. One gets beaten and then the friend also gets beaten. If someone is not sitting in the class, clothes are dirty, you have to be beaten when you are in class and then if your bed is soiled. If you haven’t swept the floor, you will be beaten.

There was a monitor in every room. He had his own favorites and he would beat those who were not. The monitor beats if his money is stolen.

How do you have money in the remand home?

There is money in the remand home. Children eat tobacco etc. in the remand home. They get money from the staff.

Why will the staff give money?

They made us work and gave money. They made us do personal work and gave money. This is how they abused us. We cleaned their rooms in the morning and at night. The staff would ask us to massage his head. Then he would be happy and gave us ten rupees. If a staff’s clothes are dirty, he would ask a follower to wash it. Then he would get 20 rupees. It was necessary to become a follower to save oneself from getting beaten.

Did you ever run?

No. I always got transferred and came.

Did you study all these years?

I studied when I was in Ujjain.

Did you get any certificate?

That is the problem. We did not get any certificates. When we came to the remand home here, we did not get any certificates. We were transferred, so we did not get any paper. We were only given a reference letter.

Did you like to study there?

Yes, I did. It would have been good had I got a certificate there. I would have moved ahead in life.

Did you feel like staying there?

Yes, because I was studying and I would have gone from 5 to 6 and then I would have got training.

What training?

Making incense sticks. I started making hosiery in Kanpur. Then I was transferred to Patna through the CWC. At CWC, I said I wanted training,so I was sent here.

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When you went to locate your house- tell us what happened then.

The staff that went with me was dependent on my information. When we reached where I guided him to, a man recognised me. He could not tell where my parents had shifted to. I later went there twice or thrice and then, went all alone from here and could remember things. I reached there and asked. That place had steel industry. I asked if my father worked there.

They said yes, he did.

Which all remand homes have you stayed in?

Ujjain, Kanpur, Mumbai and Dongri.From Mumbai station to remand home from there to home.

I couldn’t find home but I stayed with the landlord there as she ordered it. What would I have done alone? I was looking for my parents; then I thought they stay in Patna so I came here.

How did you know they stay in Patna?

I think mummy came here once. I don’t know much but I was transferred here. I had told them of two addresses. I stayed at the landlord’s house for a month but came back. Why would he keep me? Once mummy had come to Patna so I remembered that papa stayed here. My papa was very nice. He wanted to educate me. My mother never taught me but he used to say, “You don’t work. You pay attention to your studies. We will pay for your education. We will work hard to do that.” But they fought and my mother took me back to Saharanpur. I think she married another man there. I came to know from the villagers. Till then I didn’t know if my house was in paper mill colony. There was a lady named Sunita in the Mumbai remand home. She tried very hard to search for my family. She found the landlord. She located on the map. Then I was handed over to the police as I was very young. Then I was not put in the boys’ home. I was kept in a girls’ home.

I want to find my parents. One day, I was feeling low and I went to the zoo. I saw some media people there and asked if they could help me. They did not. They are bothered about their channel. Someone from here also took me there to find but I could not understand much. Then I came back to Patna and I was told to stay with them. They clicked the photo of that place and wrote a report and sent me here. Then I did not understand what to do. I wanted to find them.

Then, Sir came one day and said you go there every year to find. Try and locate with the help of masjid, Adhaar card. That place has changed a lot now.

Kolkata The children in Kolkata are from one residential home. Children in this home joined here after they came to know of this home through their friends or relatives. Of the four children interviewed, one is an orphan, one whose family stays in Kolkata and two whose parents are in a village.

Education Children in Kolkata joined this home for protection, security and education. They attended school when they were with their parents but did not get enough food and security in their family which is why they came to stay here. The girls who go back to the village during holidays

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say they do not go out of the house as those children are not well behaved and they use foul language.

Health Children share that they did not fall sickoften, so they did not remember. They tell of the unhygienic condition that surrounds the slums their parents live in.

Nutrition The children say their families could barely arrange for one square meal a day, which is why they sent them to the home.

Employment The girls did not work before they came here. They helped in the household chores.

Relations- Family, Friends and Networks The children had their own families. They had to leave their family due to severe illness of the mother, death of both parents and grandfather or due to penury of the family and sickness of the father. Though they had family ties, they could not live with them. They visited them when they could.

Story 24: Secrecy to Prevent Stigma Anna misses her mother who stays in a slum colony in Kolkata. She finds it hard to share that her mother suffers an illness. She doesn’t share it with anyone in the home or school for they might ostracise her. She feels she cannot help her mother when she needs her. She says she lives here so her mother does not have to worry about her.

Anna tells her story When I was young, we used to study. Papa was there. The three brothers and sisters studied in Hindi medium and one sister studied in an English medium school. We stayed there and we did not have our own house. It was a rented pucca accommodation. It was made of mud- the one which is square and has a derma roof on top.

What did mummy papa do?

Mummy was a housewife and papa, a driver.

So you all went to school?

Bhaiya did not go to school. Then, my father died.

What problem befell you then?

There was no one to take care. Mummy was a house wife and there were young children to take care of. What could she have done to send us to school? Everything was rented. That time mummy was also a patient and was not allowed to do heavy work. She joined work twice but fell ill seriously. She falls ill like that.

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What is her ailment?

She has an illness. She feels nervous so she cannot take much. She is not allowed to work too much in the factory. She gets nervous.

What do you mean?

She does not remember anyone when she is unwell. She becomes enraged. She doesn’t eat. I have seen her like this twice. Once, when papa died and when her father died.

Did they die one after another?

Nana died one year after my father. Nana died of grief of my father. My father had a lot many troubles as he did not have a paid job which is why he could not be cured. Papa was given one injection worth rupees 5000 in the morning and one in the evening. When the medicine started, they said the patient has to be healthy. But he was not. He would shout and not even recognise me even though I would be standing in front of him.

What all could he eat when he was sick?

He had ulcers. He had too many illnesses together- malaria, ulcer. They had put a pipe inside his mouth. He had a brain stroke, then they detected malaria and then they saw the liver was affected with ulcers.

So the stroke was huge?

That illness was not the main one. My father was affected and he could not eat anything. They started the medicine and he became alright. That illness was affecting my father’s brain, so he had a stroke and ulcers.

How long did he suffer like this?

For two months. He was unwell since 2010. My father remained alright but when he turned forty, he did not get himself checked. His stomach had swollen but he was extremely thin. We asked him to get himself checked but he did not. He had homeopathic medicine. We thought he drank a lot. When he was younger, he liked me a lot. My mother said, “If you drink so much, I will take her away and leave.” He said, “I will never drink after today.” When we grew up, my father did not have anything except tobacco. We couldn’t take him to a good doctor and when we did, it was too late.

You have explained about the illness but are not naming it. Is it something you can’t tell?

This was AIDS. Actually, had it got detected in time, he would have been cured. The medicine was too expensive. People around us gave contributions. Mummy never came home. She remained with my father at the hospital. My brother came. The doctor had told my mother not to tell my father but my nana told him; so his will-power gave away and he died sooner than expected.

My grandfather kept saying to him that your children will suffer because of you. What did you do that you got this? My father drank a lot. My father’s friend had this illness and he came to our house often. I don’t know how it came from that uncle to my father. Then it came to my mother due to my father. We also got checked but we were found safe. Then I came here.

Mummy thought that the people of the place where we stayed would ostracise us the moment they came to know about this. Mummy hadn’t told anyone. She hid it and took medicines. But 89

everyone knows how it spreads. But at that time, mummy did not know much so she thought this virus might affect us as well. She thought the same mosquito bite and using the same washroom could cause it. This was one and the other point was how would she feed us?

And you all are three here. You wouldn’t have liked to leave our mother?

I feel pained when my mother is unwell. There is no one to take care of her. My mother falls ill quite often. She falls ill at the slightest of tension. The neighbourhood where she stays is not hygienic, therefore she falls sick often. She is checked up every month. When I did not study at school, I went to her often.

Story 25: Courage in Distress for Responsibility of Siblings Anju remembers her difficult childhood when her mother was ill and her father died in an accident. She was very young then. She says she could barely hold herself and she realised she had to take care of her siblings.

Anju tells her story We were three sisters, mummy, papa and nana (paternal grandfather). We were at a factory.

There was a room there. I mean, people stayed there. And we had a room there. The owner had given us a place to stay. I don’t remember where. My papa had a fight with the landowner and we had to leave that place.

Then where did you go?

We came to stay here. There was a fight between my papa and nana. My father was going to the market and he met with an accident. My mother was already in the hospital, with a stone.

What accident?

He was run down by a moving bus.

What was the fight about?

I don’t know. My mother was in the hospital with stones. My nana came to know that he had met with an accident. The doctor told him not to inform my mother but he told and my mother died due to shock. Then my nana started drinking. His friends got him into this. That day, he came to us to give us food. We had returned from a bath. The gas was aflame and his foot slipped and his hand and foot was paralysed. He was taken to the hospital. His wound became gangrenous so they told us to clean his wounds at home. We did all that. He got up in the morning and asked for water. We gave it to him. He had some and died. There was a woman there. She had her two daughters here. She told the owner about the home and brought us here.

Did you go to school?

Yes, I studied till class 1. Then we came here and studied in class 1 again.

How long did nana live after your parents death?

1-2 years.

Who took care of you when nana died?

My sisters used to cry and I used to tell them, there is no use of crying and they would stop 90

after crying for long. I could not understand why they cried. I sent them away and cried myself.

I never share it with anyone as I fear when we will fight, they will make fun of my personal problems.

What else did you do?

I shared food when people gave it to me.

Story 26: Caught between Hatred and Unwantedness Prerna and her family lived in a village and earned out of selling vegetables. She remembers she was poisoned when she was very young. She says, her father saved her and brought her back to her mother, from the step-mother who did so. Her own sister, who stays at the residential home, is her step sister but they never felt they are divided.

Prerna tells her story There was a lot of problem between mummy and papa. Sometimes we stayed alone too as mummy and papa went for work. There was a lot of problem at home. We were very poor.

When someone told about the home, she put us there.

What did mummy papa do?

My father sells vegetables. Now he has left that job. He works where people ask him to come and work. Something happened in the vegetable business that I don’t know. He had to bring stuff from far and he was unwell for some time. He had jaundice or something in between and he became thin. He is not being tended to, since some time now. My father has two marriages.

They call him for work. He stayed with them for two years. He worked there for money. They call him as they need money. They don’t even show him to a doctor, when he is ill.

Is he in the village?

We had gone during childhood. I had gone to that house and they poisoned my medicine-that mother (step mother). We didn’t know. The people told us that is why perhaps papa brought us from there.

What does mummy do?

She sells vegetables.

Where does this come from?

This comes from the Sealdah station at night. They go to take it in the morning. Mummy was not able to make money in that. There is a lot of problem at home. They are trying to look for a home for my brother.

What do you remember of the hostel?

We were allowed to stay there but we had to get food etc. from home. They asked for money, for tiffin and mummy brought. They prepared food only at night but they asked money for that too. But we came out, when we were young.

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How did you like it when you came here?

When I was new I did not like to stay here. I felt like going back home. But I saw the problem at home and wanted to stay here.

The stepmother came once to our house. We made tea for her. She refused,as she had betel in her mouth. We felt very bad. We try to talk nicely to them. Even my mother tried to maintain relations with her. But her children, who are much older, have no idea how to talk to older people. When my mother is not around they run after us to beat us. They need the property.

We don’t stay with them. We stay with our grandmother. Mother earned for us and fed us. Or house was so small that we did not have enough space to sleep. Mummy papa slept outside the house and we four brother and sisters slept inside. There was very less space. There was no fan outside. We had a table fan we would hang it on top. It is better now.

The step mother wants to take your fathers property?

No it is papa’s village. We don’t stay at papa’s house. There is some problem between my mother and father we don’t know. We stay at our grandmother’s house. Earlier, we stayed in a rented accommodation. We had come to papa’s house. He has a property and even he wanted, that the two families stay together but the other mummy doesn’t want so. It is because of this,that my mother has to work on her own and earn. My father wants to help her. My mother’s brothers and sisters tend him, when he is sick.

Papa suffers from leprosy. When he takes medicine, he doesn’t come near us. That mummy stays at his house. Papa wants to work but doesn’t get work. Then mummy keeps him. He doesn’t earn and stays at home. Mummy goes to bring vegetables at night and papa goes along. Then, he cooks and she sells.

They don’t let my mummy go and meet him, when he is there. Once, my mother went and he was sleeping. They locked him from outside and beat my mother and drove her away. Papa has a health problem. There is a hospital in the village.

Story 26: Conscious Silence for their Love and Respect Arti and Prerna are sisters. She recounts the penury they faced which is why their parents admitted them here. She remembers how her mother worked day and night to feed them and send them to school. Her parent’s marriage is a marriage between a Hindu and a Muslim. This is the cause of disputes within the family. Her mother and her grandmother have a difference of opinion regarding her father. Her grandmother has still not accepted her father as a son-in-law.

Arti never expresses her own opinion as it would hurt her grandmother and mother. She keeps tight-lipped as she respects them both.

Arti tells her story We stayed in the village and stayed on rent. That room used to flood, when there were rains.

We would sit on the bed. My father had left earning and my mother had to earn. We couldn’t pay the rent. We went to nanis(maternal grandmother) house and started staying there though the space was not enough for all of us. We were six members in the family. My papa’s feet

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did not fit in the room. We couldn’t sleep properly. So we slept in the balcony of the house. My parents slept there and we slept inside the house.

My parents went to buy vegetables at night so they could sell it in the morning. We felt scared when they went as we did not talk much to nani. So mummy thought she should put us in some hostel. She tried to get us admitted at the village hostel but they refused, as they did not keep children who had parents. My mummy told that our father did not stay with us;that he remarried and stayed with someone else. Even then, they did not admit us. We had to get admitted, so we got in somehow. Then we stayed there for 4-5 months and then, we were shifted here.

You mother fought with your nani and she left Prerna. Where did she leave her?

We were very young. I started walking then. Then, they left her. When we were young, our parents used to fight. Mummy wanted him to stay with us. Papa used to run away and mummy used to get angry. Then papa said, “Ok, I will take her along.” He took her along to the other mummy who did not like us. She tried poisoning her and my father caught her. So, he brought her back and mother, I think, when I had just started walking and she was not born, my father took the knife and hit my mother on the head due to which she started bleeding. She howled and I got up. I used to sleep close to her. I did not know what was happening but my mother fell at his feet and held it and did not let go of him. But papa managed to run away. Then we brought her to the hospital so, my mummy wants that we become something. She doesn’t trust my father because he comes and goes. He is hardly there. When we go to the village, we realise that the children use foul language. The school that they go to is also very bad. We stay inside the house, when we go to the village. We do not go out. We wash dishes at home, keep working inside the house.

Mummy couldn’t leave papa?

Never. Actually theirs was a love marriage. She came here at the age of 15 years. My father is my biological father, not hers. Everyone in the village has told me even my nani has told that my father wanted a boy. When I was born and given in his hand, my father liked me but placed me back soon after. My mother got angry and brought me to nani. She was so angry that she put me down with a thud. I had anemia. My tummy was swollen. Two days later, my eyes closed as well. Then they offered votive prayers to gods. They took me to Jesus too. Someone said that if Jesus could resurrect, why can’t she come to life? My mother is the eldest and I was the first child.I don’t side with nani or with mother as either of them will think that I am against one or the other.

I didn’t understand this problem.

Actually, since my mother married my father. My father is a Muslim and my mother is a Hindu so my nani did not approve of it. My nana was a respected person. They had enough land.

They had a problem with a Muslim entering the family. My nani became alright but again, my parents fought and they separated.

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Ranchi The children in Ranchi are rescued domestic workers and child labour. They are older children, who were rescued from Ranchi and Delhi and brought by the organisation to Ranchi. They are enrolled in Government schools and sent for vocational training for leading an independent life. Three children interviewed, are studying in Kasturba Gandhi BalikaVidyalaya in Ranchi and two of them are working as house keepers.

Education Children had irregular schooling and in three cases, did not attend school at all, when they were with their family. One girl’s mother insisted she should study rather than thinking of leaving the village to earn, as it would change her life. One child said, he wanted to study but could only think of his family’s penury therefore, he started earning.

Health Children share that they bore illness but worked, as they had to earn. When they worked as a domestic help, they were not cared for, at all. Infact, all of them ran away from their employers.

They ran because they felt scared for their lives. Their health deteriorated when they worked as domestic help, as they did not get enough sleep and their work was physically demanding.

Nutrition The children relied on food that the employer gave. Most of the times, it was the left over. This was not nutritious. They could not eat when they were hungry and they were not given food until they completed their chores. Children got two meals a day. They went hungry many a time.

Employment The girls were employed as domestic help. They passed from one agent to another, to reach a big city, where they were kept in an office, for a few days. These offices were unregistered employment agencies, so prevalent in the larger cities. They agreed to work for money and thought they would get education, as was told by the agents.

Relations- Family, Friends and Networks Of the five children, two have family links. Rest of them have lost contacts and do not remember their villages. They prefer staying with the organisation support.

Story 27: Running Away from a Labour of Humiliation Arni says she had no idea that she could study. It was only when she studied at the school for nine months, she came to know how children are made to do child labour, she realised why children do not study. Her education made her curious to know, why, when she was doing such work,she was not able to understand that she was being abused. Now she tells this to the others through her nukkad nataks that she showcases with the help of the organisation that supports her.

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Arni tells her story When I was young, my father used to drink and do nothing. We arranged for food somehow.

We could not find enough, so we used to beg. This was the reason why someone sent me to Delhi saying. We will teach you here and give you food to eat. But I was being beaten and troubled at Delhi. I was not given proper food and I had to make the girl and boy ready and take them to school. I had to cook. If the roti burned, I would be thrashed. They did not give food. So I thought,“What should I do? I wanted to study.” Then, I didn’t feel like staying there.

I ran away from there and came to Delhi station. There, they asked me my name. I told them my name. They asked me where I came from. I said,“I don’t know; that I was cheated.” They took me to childline. Then I was discharged from childline and I was taken to Ranchi. There, they asked me of my village. I didn’t know what to say. When they brought me here,I thought, what would I study? They taught well but I could not understand. Then sir and all asked me if I knew the address of my house. I did not. Then they said, “There are several such children who do not remember their homes and we keep them with us.”

Where was your family?

I don’t know much but I am from Rajasthan. I have one older brother and one older sister. My mother was not there to take care of the food. She died when I was very young- in the lap. Didi and I used to go. Bhaiya went separately and papa went to clean people’s ears. Didi and I went village by village. There were many who gave us a little and there were many who thought of beating us. We had to beg everyday, as we had to run our house.

So what did you do through the day?

We cleaned our place in the morning. Then, we left for begging to come at 12:00 noon, to cook food. We would eat and leave again. We managed our house expenses within what we got and what my father earned.

Did papa remarry?

Yes papa remarried. She did not behave well with us. He married many days after my mother died because didi was young and so was bhaiya. We had no one to look after us. Her hand was a little distorted, so she couldn’t do much. And she was not good. When papa went out, she beat us and when he returned, she complained against us. Then papa scolded us but he loved us too. Papa never spoke much. He used to drink. Papa never drank and came. When mother used to complain against us, he would drink.

Where would the brother be?

He would not be around. He would remain away and come to home only to eat.

Papa never got us enrolled in school. We always used to wander. We changed place of stay after a few weeks. We stayed in one village for some days and then, move to another. This is how we changed places.

Did you go to papa for your needs during the day?

No we did not. We used to get out of the house first. Then papa used to go.

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That man came to papa and said “I will take your daughter to Delhi and will teach her there.

She will work there and even send you money.” He said this and gave some money to my father.

So this happened in front of you. You could understand? How old were you?

I was 7-8 years old. My father was illiterate and he did not know much. My father thought, he should not let go of this opportunity. He thought, he should let the younger one take this opportunity, as no one in our family was ever educated.

How much money did he get?

I don’t know. He gave it in my father’s hand.

How did you reach Delhi?

I said,“I don’t want to go to study.” He called someone and took me along. He kept me in an office. There were many girls there, already. I didn’t know why I was there. Then the girls asked me and I didn’t know. The girls said, “So you have come too.” I said, “Yes, I too have come.” Then they sent me to another house. They had already contacted them before. I didn’t know. He took me there. He said, “Stay here nicely. The madam here will teach you.” I was happy. I thought, I had never got education and now, I will do so and do something.

What did the owners do?

The husband did something and the wife stayed at home. And her son was there. I had to babysit him.

You were 8 years old. How old was the child?

He was 4 years old. He had just started going to school.

How was the house?

It was a kothi (independent house). I had to get the child ready in the morning- bathe him, take him to school.

And what did you do through the day?

One day, they woke me up at 2:00-3:00 am and I would not get up. They splashed water, beat me and I got up crying. She said, “You don’t want to work or what? You are asleep! Everything is lying around.” I was allowed to sleep very late. I slept at 12:00 am and I had to wake up at 2:00-3:00 am. I was finding it very difficult. I had to sweep. I found it hard to make tea. I had never made tea at home. No one had tea there. So she woke me up and said, “Go and make tea.” I said, “What is tea?” She said, “You don’t know tea till now?” She laughed at me and told me how to make tea. Then she asked me to cook. I burnt it all. She said I was dumb. She did not say anything, that day. The next day on, she started beating me. So I would put tea leaves and forget sugar sometimes and something else, the other times. I had to bathe that boy and clothe him. I had never taken care of myself, how could I take care of someone else? Now what to make him wear, to get him ready? Then she would say, “You don’t know anything.” She would say, “Go and bathe my son.” I didn’t know even then, I would go to bathe him. Then she would beat me telling me that I didn’t know how to bathe him. I got him ready and sent him off. I did not say anything. When I would say, “Ma’am I am hungry.” She would say, “You are greedy. You ask for food.” She would give after she had eaten, by 2:00 pm. Even then, she would give her 96

leftovers. Like, she would eat and give me the leftovers. Also, whatever her son would leave on the plate, she would give to me. I thought, I have never done this, at my home. If I left something, my sister would throw it away. She would never give it to anyone. So I used to think, my life is full of problems. I got beaten every day. I worked. Her husband kept his shoe here and there.

He would wake up in the morning and say, “Where are my socks? Where are my shoes?” I was too young to take so many risks. I got thrashed. Once she beat me so much, I got hurt on my forehead and it started bleeding. I said,“I will go home.” She said, “Why will you go home? It will be better that you die. We don’t want to take a risk.” They knew, they had a child and they did not want to take a risk. I did not like it there. I wore the same clothes, I brought from home.

They did not give me clothes. They kept me like that, in the winters too. They never gave me sweater to wear. I tried to talk to them, so they send me back but they did not. Then I thought, I will not stay here. I couldn’t handle it so I ran away from there.

How did you run?

They were away from home. They had gone for a party and the window was open. I ran from there. She usually shut it while going out. That day she left it open.

How long did you stay with her?

I was with her for 1 year. And I was inside the house for this long period.

Did anyone come to work inside the home?

Someone did. He would collect trash but I was not allowed to go out.

So you couldn’t talk to anyone? And when she went out you couldn’t call anyone?

I did not have anyone’s number. When I ran, I was worried for my life. I had to run.

Did anyone come to their place?

If someone did, she did not take me out. She would not let me out of the kitchen.

Where did you sleep?

I slept on the sack after cleaning the kitchen, at night.

Did you feel like finding your own family?

I felt like but I think, it is not in my fate.

Do you feel like taking revenge against those people?

I do, but then I think, all people are not the same.

Story 28: In clutches of Extreme Exploitation and Inhumanity Ganga decided to go to Delhi to work, despite her mother’s wishes. She went, for she did not want to see her father behaving like a lunatic. She thought she could help her family, with her earnings. She never thought, she would face inhuman treatment, meted out at her by the employers. She feels, she is lucky to be alive.

Ganga tells her story A man from my village led me astray to go to Delhi because my father’s situation is bad. My 97

father worked as a pujari(person who is entitled to perform religious rites and rituals) etc. This is a generational work. My father is the younger son of the family. He was burdened with responsibilities. Now, he is mentally ill. He used to scream, abuse others, and I was fed up of listening to all that. I felt, “What should I do? How can I get him back to sanity?” I kept thinking about that. What do I say that chacha, I mean, we were playing in the park, so there is an auto, he used to drive that. We were sitting in his auto, we children. He came from the fields and said, “What happened, Ganga?” “Nothing.” “See your father screams and shouts, does all that. Don’t you feel like going away somewhere?” “Yes I do.” “Where will you go?” “I can go anywhere. I have gone even before.” “Will you go to Delhi?” I said, “Yes. I will” He started troubling me, that day onwards. He troubled me a lot. I told my mother. My mother insisted that I don’t do so. My mother doesn’t stay in the village. She works in a different place and stays there. She works like a labour there. That time, she had come with my mausi for some festival.

I asked her, if could go to Delhi. She refused. She said, “I want you to study. You stay here.”

If you don’t want to study, you come along with me and stay there. My mother insisted, even then I did not listen to her. I slipped out when she was not around. He took me to that man. That man handed me to some other man. Then they handed me over to someone else at the railway station. I mean, I was transferred between three hands. He brought me to Delhi. I went but they snatched my older mother’s number from my hand. They also took away the little amount of money I carried.

There were many girls, a lot of them, waiting for being sent to work. I stayed for one day. The next morning, a girl ran away and came. They had put her to work somewhere and she ran from there. She was so devastated that I prayed to God that I should not reach such a state.

I mean, I should not get the type of house that she was in. But who knew, I will go to the same place as that girl. I was listening carefully to what she said. The one who runs that place was asking her why she ran etc. She started telling that those people locked her up in the bathroom and beat her. She told her that she climbed off the balcony and came. The guard helped me escape and I hid in the flower bushes. I had 100 rupees in my hand and I caught an auto and ran back. They pulled my hair. She was telling all this and I was hoping I should not get the same. That very evening, her husband came and said, “Come. You have to go to work.” I was afraid in the heart. My heart was pounding with a feeling that I was going to that very house.

I sat in the auto quietly and reached there. They were doctors. Then she came and we entered.

We went along. I was made to sit in the staircase and they decided something inside. I don’t know what they decided. This went on for an hour and half. Then he said, “They are bhabhi bhaiya (brother and his wife) and they have a child. Work well and you will have no problem.

Call me if you have any.” He did not give me any phone number. She took me. She checked my luggage. Then (starts crying) she took out a medicine, told me to take off my clothes and apply it all over. I mean that lady. She said, “You apply this medicine and take a bath.” She asked me to take my clothes off, in front of her. Then, I applied. She thought, I will not apply it so she told me to do it in front of her. I went to take a bath. Her husband came in the evening. She asked me to cook rotis. I was feeling odd.

I knew this would happen. When I came to know it is the same house, I couldn’t say anything to that man. The night passed somehow. The morning came and I got up. I didn’t know what to do.

She asked me to take a bath. Then she made me clean the kitchen and asked me to knead the 98

flour. She taught me to make rotis. I tried and she hit me. That very day, she started beating me. I couldn’t help saying, “You raised your hand at me?” She didn’t say anything. From that very day,they had a problem with everything I did or did not do. They were not satisfied till they beat me; both the husband and wife. I did not have hair. They had pulled them all. My body had nail marks. They would dig their nails in my body and tear my skin. She did not give anything to eat. If I got dry roti, I never got vegetable.

They filled me with terror. I was terrorised that she will come and beat me. I still have that feeling in me. She beat me with a steel scale. I don’t know what happened to my body. I could endure any amount of pain she inflicted. Her husband asked me to sit like a cock and hit my face with his boots.

And they were doctors?

Yes. She took me to the clinic, when she had work. I felt like telling people and seeking help but I could not. I feel, I was fortunate because there was a lady who came in the evening and narrated my tale to her. She mopped the floor. I talked to her when she would drain the dirty water in the bathroom. I was not allowed to talk to her too. She made me massage her late till night and if I did something, she would tweak my skin.

One day I forgot about the pots. I didn’t water the plants. That entire day, she scolded me. I got the water can to drain water and she pulled away all my hair. She pulled it so hard that the hair came off and water spilled all over. There was water and lots of hair.

People did not hear you?

They wouldn’t as the entire house was covered with glass and I knew the nature of the people around. No one talked to them. The ones above knew them well. They told me that they beat the earlier girl more than they beat me. She used to say, “We will not send you alive to Jharkhand from here.”

So the ones above knew it then they did not come to help you?

They were scared they will pick up a fight with them. They only helped me but due to that didi because what I told her, she narrated to them. I saw the chance and ran. They went away to Bangkok. That didi used to come in the afternoon. That afternoon, when she rang the bell, I told her that didi bhaiya have gone out because they used to lock me up and go. I couldn’t talk to anyone. I told her to come after 5 days. Then she went upstairs. She must have told her everything. They did not leave anything for me to eat. She would count the pieces of chicken and go.

When they went they left no ration?

If the level of ration goes down, I would have to suffer.

But when they have gone for 5 days, would you not eat something?

Ration was there, but they said it should not reach below this.

You are telling there was a door.

There was a wooden door and an iron door.

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And there was no space?

They had opened the balcony, only to dry clothes. Even that would have been locked, had there been no need of drying clothes.

So how could you come out?

When that didi told everything, she asked me to come to the balcony. They said, “We will help you provided you don’t tell anyone.” They said, “You want to get out of here?”I said, “Yes. I do.”

Those people called the police and media. They tried opening the door. They put stairs at the balcony and took me out.

How far?

2 floors high.

How many months were you there?

8 months. Those 8 months, I was getting beaten.

What about the placement agency?

When police rescued me, they asked me where I came from. I told them of the place I came from. The place had changed but I tried and recognised where it was and police kept a 24 hour vigil and caught them. That man, who brought me to Delhi, brought my mother, saying I wanted to meet her. He brought her here. They were caught at the place, where I was first brought.

Then, I was taken to NirmalChayya. It was one week, when my mother came. They brought them to me and I recognised them.

There was media…

When I was not rescued, was on the balcony, they threw a mike at me and talked to me from there. And that morning, the next morning, they were about to come. They would have killed me after coming back. I was there on God’s faith. I had no money and I didn’t know where to go, so I couldn’t run before. I thought what will be, will be.

They had a daughter.

Yes.

How old was she?

11-12 years She did not like it, I think, as she would hit me anywhere; whether in the kitchen or anywhere.

Her husband took me to the bathroom and held my throat. Her daughter used to cry but they would tell her something and even she started misbehaving.

When the TV people came,was there is a fear what will happen next? What could you talk?

I was happy I was being rescued. I was scared if they might come.

What could you tell?

I told them everything.

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How far was the clinic?

Far, 6-7 km.

How did they take you?

In the car and even in that, she would hit me. She would never call out my name. She would use such foul words, one can’t imagine. When I had no hair, I used to take a duppatta. Her husband used to tear my hair and put them in the dustbin. My eyes would be on his hands as he tore my hair, alive. They have become alright, only after coming here.

Did they face you?

Went I went to CWC. I sat there and CWC people were talking to them…I didn’t understand much, but I was surprised to see him talk like that. I couldn’t listen. I couldn’t hear their voice.

Did they ever feel repentant?

No, she never showed it on her face. I don’t know if this is due to money. When my case ended, even then, she had no repentance. Only in November 2014, she shed crocodile tears. That day, she hugged me and said sorry…She cried because others were around. I keep thinking, how I met that girl and how my worst fears came true. They used to say, “We will kill you and throw you in sewage and no will come to take you.” Once they locked me in a tiny room, where I could see a ray of light. I was feeling asphyxiated. I was shouting and they did not listen. That day, when they said, “You don’t know how to work.”They made me into a cock and hit me with their boots and locked me in. They never gave me food, too. I had to sleep at 3:00 am and get up at 6:00 am as she waited for her husband and he came late. Then I cooked rotis for him. Till then, I massaged her. He came by 12:00-1:00 am and I did everything, cleaned the kitchen and slept.

Story 29: Feeling Lost, Sold and Left Longing Namya remembers how she lost everything, when her mother died. She was forced to work as domestic help. She ran away to reach the home and has no one to go to. She lost her older and younger sister, when she was young. Now she wants to trace them but has no clue of where they could be.

Namya tells her story I had father and mother. Papa had died. I think he was good, so someone poisoned him.

What happened?

His mouth was bleeding. My mother told me. I was very young. He had TB. I was 5 years old.

Then, my mummy died.

How? When her baby was young, she died. She took care of us.

How many brother and sisters were you?

I had an older sister and one sister, from my step mother. The village people did not like us.

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Why? When papa’s body lay after his death, one man said, “Now what will happen of these children?

Now they will meet the same fate.” I had thrown a stone at him.

The same will happen to them- what does it mean?

I mean, my mother had left my father. So, even we will leave everything and go. My own mother married a Muslim. When my mother died, my mama brought me to his home and made me work in TATA. I said,“I want to go back.” He said, “You will work here and eat.”

You worked in TATA? I worked in someone’s house- sweeping, mopping, dishes and babysitting a child.

How old was he?

3 years old.

How old were you?

8 years old.

What did you do through the day?

Got up at 4:00 am, mopped the floor, did the dishes, cooked food, got the child ready. I worked at night and slept at 12:00 am.

You could cook?

Yes. You were very young?

Yes, but I knew how to cook.

How? When mother was pregnant with a young girl, I could cook food.

Ok. How was it there?

She was not good. She made me work too much. She thrashed me, when I made any mistake.

She gave me food but gave me left-overs.

I mean that which remained after all had eaten?

That which remained after everyone had eaten and also, that which remained, from the night before.

When guests came?

Then she showed, as if she kept me very well. She would come to work in the kitchen. She would otherwise, never work. She never woke up in the morning. I had to do everything.

Then?

One day, they sent me to buy vegetables. I had money. I took that money and went to the bus stand. I knew the village address. One uncle asked me, “Where are you going to?”I told him. He

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got me on to a bus and I reached the village. I started living with my mausa there. Then mama came and he took me back.

Mausa did not stop you?

He was not my real mausa. He was in the village. He tried to stop me but mausa said, “She is our child, not yours.” Then mama took me home.

How was it there?

It was not nice. They made me work and beat me.

And his children?

They had three children- 2 sons and 1 daughter.

Did they work?

No, I did all the work. I got beaten for whatever they did. They ate everything that was available at home and his daughter used to tell him that I had eaten. Then, he beat me. I could not say anything.

Then?

Then mama sold me off.

You know you were sold off?

Yes. How? That man said, “I have bought you in 2 lakh. How can I let go of you?”

Ok. Who was he?

He was the mukhiya(headman) there- of Kanka, Prem Nagar. He was a bad man. He beat me a lot. He beat his wife too much. He would break the glass in anger. He slapped. There was a hockey stick- he hit that too.

She did not say anything?

No. You worked there?

I packed lunch for four children, swept, mopped and did the dishes. There were 11 people there. I cooked for them, washed clothes, everything.

Who all were there?

Husband, wife, five kids, mama-mami.Mami was good. I told her so he had a fight with her too.

He used to tell her to leave from there. She would not listen. She said, “I will not go.” She used to say, “If I go from here, I will take you along.” Then one day, I ran away from there.

How? One day everyone was away. I scaled the wall and told the neighbour aunty and went away.

She said, “Go away. Come and have food first.” I ate and went away.

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No one saw you?

No one saw me scaling the wall. They saw me, when I was walking on the road. They asked me, “Where are you going?” I said, “There are clothes remaining at the riverside. I am going to bring them.” I walked beside the river. A girl was grazing the buffalo. I asked her of the directions and she told me. I went there and asked an aunty for money, to catch the bus. Aunty said she did not have the money. I asked her to get it while I would wait. She said she could not get it. Then the policeman came and asked, “Where are you going?” I said, “I am going home.”

He brought me to CWC and put me in the orphanage.

Was it government?

I do not remember. It was for both boys and girls. I did not like it there so I asked them to shift me to a girls’home.

Why was it not nice?

The boys pulled girls plaits. One day, a boy told me, “Come, I’ll show you.” I told my friend to come along for watching a ghost. We went with him. He took us to the roof. He held my hand.

My friend slapped him and both of us ran from there. Then I said, “I will not stay here.” And I came here.

Story 30: Forced by Poverty to Fight Alone Rama lived in penury at the village and had to come to Delhi for work as they wanted to construct the roof of the house. She could not bear the atrocities of the employers and ran for her life one day when, she was rescued by the police.

Rama tells her story My uncle took me to Delhi and put me into work. They did not keep me well. They beat me up.

So, I ran from there and reached the railway station. The police rescued me and put me in a shelter home then, I came to Ranchi.

Who was this mausa?

He was my mother’s second cousin.

Was the situation at home not good?

No. He told me to come to work. I thought he would put me somewhere nice. He took me somewhere and they did not love me. They thrashed me, so I ran and met the police, who put me in a school. Their behaviour, where I worked, was not good.

Who all were there in your family?

I have my mother, father, brother and sister. My brother is the oldest.

How old is the younger sister?

Two years younger.

Your brother was working?

Yes he carried provisions to the shops.

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Why did you have to leave home?

I did not leave. My mausa told me to come along for work. He said, “What would you do sitting idle?”

Was there enough to eat at home?

There was less at home. My father did farming and my mother did household work.

Did you study at home?

No, I did not study. I accompanied mummy to the farms. Then, my mausa asked me to come to Delhi and I came.

How did you help at home?

I helped mummy. I cooked food. I woke up at 6:00 am to sweep and mop, cook and then go to the farms.

So this was an entire year’s work?

Yes. Did you sell it?

Yes papa and bhaiya sold it in the market. My papa would also go to white wash, during the Diwali.

Why did you need to work?

Mummy sent me.

Was there some fight?

No I did not fight. No one said anything.

Even then?

She sent me with mausa to work.

Where did you come in Delhi?

Old Delhi. I don’t remember much.

What work did you do?

Sweeping, mopping and babysitting the young child.

Who were those people?

I don’t know.

What did the husband and wife do?

They both were working.

Did they take you to where they worked?

No, they left me at home, with the child.

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How old was the child?

14-15 years old.

He was quite old! What did you do?

I made food.

How was he?

He was ok.

Was he rude to you?

No. Who was nasty that you had to run?

That madam and the uncle- their behaviour was not good.

What did she do?

She said I did not work well.

I can understand what you are trying to say but what happened? You didn’t cook well?

I cooked well. Only the vegetable was a little burnt.

How long were you there?

I was there for 1 month.

I am saying they stay fine for at least one or two days and after that they start showing true colours. How was it with you?

She was alright for two days. After that, she started scolding me for petty reasons. She started beating me, the third day. The vegetable, on the third day, was over-salted.

Did her husband intervene?

Yes, he said, “You don’t work well. Run away from here.”

Did anyone come home?

No, whoever came left after 15 minutes.

Anyone who came to work?

An aunty came at 12:00 noon. She worked and went away.

You did not have any phone number?

I had. My mausa took it away from me.

And your wages?

My mausa took that. They did not give it to me.

Did he give it to your mother?

I don’t know.

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Did your mausa come to meet you?

Only once. He said, “You stay well and work hard.” He did not come after that.

How did you run?

I got up at 5:00 am and started sweeping and mopping. That madam started scolding me and beating me. She went to the kitchen and I ran.

How did you do that?

The gate was open. I got angry that day.

Tell us when you met the police what happened?

They said, “Babu how did you run?” I told them that I got up at 5:00 am and started working.

The madam hit me and scolded me and I ran. Then the police brought me to the station and got me to the shelter home.

How was that place?

Good.

And food?

Food was good. We studied and learnt tailoring. I did not learn much. I was there for three months. I did tailoring there and started studying here.

Did you make any friends?

Yes, one friend, I don’t remember.

Then how did you come here?

There was a madam named Anjali at Sir’s office. She asked them to send me to Ranchi.

Do you remember your village?

I remember.

So you didn’t go home?

I don’t remember much.

You were 15 when you came. Do you remember your home?

No. Do you not want to go home?

I want to but I can go only if I find my home. They did not talk in front of me. I was away when they did. When I came back, she said, “Get ready. Mausahas come to take you to Delhi.”I said, “I will not go. I will not like Delhi.”She said, “Go to Delhi. What will you do here? Work hard there.”

You didn’t resist?

I did. I said,“I want to stay with you. I will work with you.”She said, “What will you work with me? Go and work hard there.”

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What happened within that month that you had to run away?

They gave me stale food. The food that remained from the night, was given to me in the morning, and that which remained from the day, was given at night. That madam used to cook for them and eat. She would not give me. They made me do the entire work. My stomach ached due to hunger, so I ran from there.

What did you get to eat through the day?

Biscuit, tea, 1 roti and little vegetable in the morning. Nothing in the afternoon and dinner at 11:30 pm.

Tell me of your routine.

I slept at 12:00 at night and woke up at 6:00 am to do sweeping and mopping. Then, I washed clothes and then watered the plants.

What time did they leave home?

They left at around 8:30 am.

And then you couldn’t eat anything on your own?

No, I was scared to take out someone’s food and have it on my own, so I remained hungry.

Your brother did not stop you?

Bhaiya had gone for work. He would return at 10:00 pm from work.

What was the need that mummy had to send you?

I have a younger brother. My older brother is married and he has one son. They did not stay with us.

So did they send you because they wanted money?

We were making a pucca(made of bricks) house and needed money for that. So they sent me to earn.

Story 31: Bearing the Burden of Responsibility to Earn Ramesh left home when he was very young, for he wanted to earn money and end the penury of his family. He said he wanted to study, but could never think of it, as he had no money and he had to earn. When he worked, he never got paid, as he was very young. He found hard to explain to the employers that he needed money badly. It took some years, when he became older, for people to realise, that he should be paid. He was rescued from a hotel in Ranchi and brought to the vocational training center by the organisation who got him educated and trained in housekeeping due to which he is doing a respectable job today.

Ramesh tells his story When I was 8 or 9 years, the situation of my home was really bad. It was so bad, that we did not have anything to eat. My father had expired. I was 6 years, when my father expired. We stayed with my mother. We were four brothers and sisters. We did not have food to eat. This

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happened for 2-3 years, when I thought,I could work. So,at the age of 10 years, I went out, looking for work. I started working in a hotel for 300 rupees per month. There was food there but I was thrashed a lot. I never was thrashed so much at home, as outside. It was difficult too, as I had to eat leftovers. I worked for 1 year and I didn’t like it so I ran away from there and came back home. Mother and father were not there but whoever was there, started crying. I mean, I was helping in getting money, for the house. It went on like that and then, I couldn’t see it anymore and ran away again, at the age of 12 years. I was very young. I was illiterate. I didn’t even know how to write my name and I ran away to work. I got 1500 rupees there.

What did you do there?

I worked in the farm, tending cattle. I stayed there for 8-9 months. He made me do a lot of work and there was no sight of food. Then I asked for money and he would say, “What for?” He started scolding me. I said, “You made me work for so many months and said you will give me money but you never did that.” He agreed and gave me some money. He said he was giving me food, shelter and clothes and everything cost him money. Like it is, when adults say something, the younger people cannot raise their voice. Then I said,“I want to go home.” He said, “Where is your home?” I told him, where it was. He said, “I will not send you back. I have bought you and sent your money home.” I said, “It cannot be true. My mother can never sell me.” Then he started arguing and he beat me and sent me to work. I cried and worked. He did not give me any money. I thought of an idea. He had a shop and I got along his wife. She gave me 500 rupees and I ran from there. I came home and asked if he gave them money. They refused. I saw the state of my home. It was bad. I had no way out of this poverty. I was 13-14 years. I started staying home. There was no one at home, who could work. I was young and I could not do anything big. We couldn’t do anything big, as we did not have that knowledge. Then, there was a relative, I asked him for some work at Ranchi. He said he knew of a hotel at Ranchi. I asked him to take me there and get me a job. Then, I came to the hotel and worked there for 1 ½ years. I washed glass, plates. I asked for money. He kept dilly-dallying and said 1200-1300 but never gave me money. His brother had a hotel in ITI. When they sent me there, I told him of this and he said he would talk.

He asked me to work there so I started working there and he made me do what I was not supposed to do. I cleaned the sewerage and swept and mopped the floor and gave me 1000 rupees. My chacha stayed around that place- not my own- distant. I gave it to him. In the meanwhile, my family was searching for my address. I didn’t know how to get in touch with them.

Then, the hotel people sent me to another place and gave my money. I went home. I did not get any chance to study. There one more boy wanted to come with me. He used to graze ox. He asked me, where I went for work. He said he wanted to come along.

He was an orphan. I brought him too and then there was a rally. We did not know much. Then a police officer came and checked us and then they came with a police force and caught us.

They took photos of the owner. They told us many things. They brought us to Kishore Niketan.

We stayed there and learnt a lot many things. There I studied and learnt counting- that which I did not know- a to z. how to live, how to talk. They made us so strong in one year that I knew everything till class 6th. So much, that they got us admitted to class 10th. After that, I studied 109

till class 7thand wrote exams. Then, they said we should have some skill too. So they sent us to Rajasthan. All four of us went to Rajasthan and learnt much- we learnt painting, tailoring and car-painting.

How old were you when father died?

3-4 years.

Do you remember his face?

I don’t. I remember we were playing over his body, when he died. My mother told me. He was a mukhiya(headman) of the village. People tell that all was fine, when there were two sisters but people started getting jealous of us when he had two sons. They started fighting with us.

We could not arrange food, for the afternoon and sometimes for the night. I mean, we could manage one meal. We were young, so we had milk.

How did you go when you went the first time?

I had run with someone else. I mean he was someone from the village. He was of a different caste. I heard it from someone that his father was going to earn. I went after him. When we sat in the train, he saw me and I said, “I am going with you.”

How old were you?

9 years. We got down at a station and that man left me, because he was not my relative. He didn’t know me. Then, I looked for a job and people would say, “We will not keep you because you are too young.” Then there was a small hotel. I fell on his feet and asked for work so he kept me. He was not good. He made me do a lot of work. I ate leftovers, too.

What do you mean leftovers?

I mean the food that was left in customer’s plate. I got that only and I could eat, if I wanted to, else I didn’t get food at all. My hands were wounded doing so much work but I did not get any medicine. That was a daily wage work. I did not get any holiday. When I fell sick, very sick, I was allowed to sleep. I went to the doctor, if I was very serious. He gave medicine to have. I would sleep after that. Even there, when I fell at his feet and asked for work, I did not talk about the wages. This went on for days and weeks. I still don’t remember but I would have worked there for 9 months to a year. He would even beat me and say, “Why are you sitting?

Do some work!” He verbally abused too. Then, I asked him money for going back home and he gave me 1500 rupees.

That time, I used to think 1500 rupees is enough for me. I thought, he has given me enough. I was happy. I started working there. He gave me food and clothes. He gave me money but I did not know, he will not give me leave. He started trusting me and handing the work to me. I thought, I have to work something out. So, I kept the money and said,“I will buy clothes with it rather than going home.” He said he never asked me to leave. I asked the staff there about where I could get the bus etc. I stayed there for 9 months. I became smart enough to do this. Then, I ate at night and went upstairs, picked my bag and ran away from there. It was dark and I couldn’t make much sense, so I stayed at the station. I boarded a bus in the morning and reached home because I remembered the address.

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What were you thinking?

I thought, I will go home and stay happily, will celebrate festivals. I had money so, I will buy everyone everything, they wanted to. I reached home and gave the money to my mother. I stayed there for 15 days and returned, as I could see the situation of the home. I asked a relative for some work and he sent me for work. I was there for about a year and I heard them talk. They were talking about money. He said he will give 1000-1500. They did not come to know that I could hear.

So he got the money for your work?

Yes, and I got two meals a day. It was not enough, as there was loads of work here. I ate from here and there. There is enough food in the village. I felt they were a family to me. Then, I got beaten when I said I wanted to go home. It was as if I was to take care of that home. So when I asked to go home, he refused. She would give me food on the sly, tea-biscuits, sometimes. They even had a shop.

He didn’t come to know?

He did once, but then he thrashed me.

So how did this woman save you?

No she did not save me while at work. She helped me because I played with her child.

That time I had no count of the number of days I worked, as one needs to be literate to understand that. Children used to study at the village. I asked, “What do you keep on doing?

You keep turning pages.” They said, “Go away. You will not understand anything.” Then I never developed an interest. Had someone asked me to learn and helped, I would have gained interest.

The next time I came, my mother scolded that man, for I had not got any money from there. He said he never got any money so he couldn’t do anything. If I had gone there again, I would have to work and I was not sure he will give the money. My mother scolded him and he gave some 1800 rupees and told he had been paying about 1500 per month to my relative.

I stayed at home for about 1 ½ months. Then, I came to Ranchi and worked in a hotel. We started spoiling the material at the hotel, as he was not good to us. We asked him for money and he would delay it, saying he will give it the same day or the next day. We put sour milk water into milk so he removed us from there and sent us to another hotel.

My uncle scared me then. He said,“Ranchi is a big city and if I do this again, the police will catch you.” I had cigarette-biri with the men there, sometimes. He gave me 300 per month first and then it was raised to 600/-.

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Hyderabad The children in Hyderabad are from two residential homes. They are orphan, rescued domestic help and children living in poverty.

Education Children studied when their parents were alive. For those who migrated from the village due to poverty, they helped their families meet their end by begging and did not attend school.

Health Children working as domestic help showed that they were never taken care of. They worked even in illness. Those staying within families were taken care of.

Nutrition Whether they moved to the city due to penury or they were settled in the city for a better living, the families earned money to make their ends meet. Children within in families say their mother made them eat well. For those on the street, food was hard to earn. They ate what they got and made what they could afford.

Employment Children were employed in begging or as domestic help. Children living within families helped in household chores. They had to work more when their parents died. Their usefulness around home was one reason their relatives did not want to let go of them.

Relations- Family, Friends and Networks Children tell how the family ties weakened due to alchoholism of the fathers and dearth of money. The families sent their children to work as domestic help. The relatives took care of the orphan children but they made them work for their own benefit. The relations are amicable and they meet during the vacations but would not like to go back to them.

Story 32: Poverty, Migration and Destitution Rajni tells of her story of destitution and poverty. Her mother died when she was young and she came to the city with her father and lived under the open sky. She had to beg. She came to the home after her father’s death and subsequent decision by the aunt to put her here. Now she studies in class 8th from an English medium in a government high school.

Rajni tells her story In my childhood, my brother got lost. My parents came to Hyderabad in search of him, lived on the roads and begged for a living. Once, while I was begging at Kachiguda hotel, police saw me and put me in Navajeevan .Then I was 9 years old. We are the native of Mahaboobnagar. We came to Hyderabad in search of livelihood as there was drought in our native place. We were living in Kahiratabad. Before that, we used to work wherever work was available. My father used to get rupees 100-150 per day in begging. We used to go 112

back to our native place, on festivals. I was admitted to the residential home after staying there for 2-3 weeks.

We were living in a rented house and I was admitted in class 1(in Hyderabad). One day, when my parents quarreled, my father and grandmother took me along to Mahaboobnagar Railway station and we started living there. Then, my mother came searching for us and took me back with her. For a few days, we lived under tree in Narayanaguda, beside police station. We had no fear there as we were close to police station. I don’t remember my brother but I have his photo. He got lost in childhood.

My father died when I was 10 years old. My aunt, a municipal sweeper, kept me and my mother with her and placed my mother in job as sweeper, in a lady’s home. She visits me often.

Story 33: A Past of Lack of Love and Respect Kavya tells of the vast difference in her past life and the present. She says she feels cared for and loved. She has nurtured her talent liked she could never imagine. She is being coached in running and has won medals at the district and state level. Her past of working as a domestic help is painful experience of lack of love and respect. She recounts her experiences.

Kavya tells her story I stay in Bangalore. An old person among our relatives approached my father for a maid servant and brought me to Hyderabad. I worked as maid in a house for a year. I faced many problems there. They gave me left-over food and did not care, nor bought new clothes on festivals. I endured their torture as my day started at 4:00 am in the morning. They woke me up abruptly, by a kick. They used to lock me up, when they went out.

One day, TV channel people tracked me through CCTV camera and when I went to the market, they rescued me, and put me in Navjeevan home. I didn’t get adjusted there so I was shifted to another home.

My owners gave monthly wages. How much money? To whom? I don’t know. I was 10 years then, and my father never visited me. Once, the old person, who put me there, came but I couldn’t talk to him as I was working. Once I asked him about my father. He said he would come. I don’t remember seeing my father’s face nor did I know my house address. In childhood, I lived with my brother, elder sister. They were also working and were placed at someone’s house.

My father used to get Rs 50 per day. I don’t know how much money they used to give. I saw my sister and brother only once, and from then on, I never saw them again.

As a domestic help, I used to do sweep, bathe, mop, wash clothes, vessels, prepare beds, remove children’s dresses, polish their shoes, put prepared tiffin boxes into auto, give milk soon after children came back home, clean washrooms with acids. They didn’t allow me to

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touch the food, nor allowed me directly into the kitchen. They put aside used vessels,for me, to clean.

I sat in the backyard and they gave me food, in a separate plate. I kept my soap, glass, separately. My wash and bath rooms were separate; at the back gate.

Of the two owners, one went for work, and the other stayed back. The old lady was a widow and all her three daughters were married. They did not stay with her. They gathered there during holidays and vacations. That house had four members- her two daughters, sons and her grandson. The old lady was cruel. She used to beat me but her daughter-in-law looked after me well and shared her food. They don’t know that I am staying here.

I used to sleep on the floor of the room, where the old lady slept. I remember the house where I worked. I know our house is in Gulbarga. I don’t know exactly, where my house is.

One day, while I was cleaning a car in the apartment, a media person living in the same apartment, saw me and rescued me. I stayed with him for 5 days. He looked after me and purchased new clothes for me. I was admitted to Navajeevan after 5 days.

I never slept sufficiently, and one day, while working, I slept on the floor and she beat me black and blue. When they were not at home, I ate the food items. Sensing this, she beat me saying, “How dare you eat our broth?” She used to hit my head against the wall and I got head ache. In order to cure that, I had whatever medicine was thrown around the house. This did not cure my headache. It got aggravated. I swallowed 5 tablets from the dust bin. They would be expiry date. They didn’t notice this. One day, I got severe stomach pain and I was taken to the hospital.

One day I was woken up at 4:00 am to fetch water in the water can. This fell on my little toe and it got hurt badly. They put an appointment there. They never took me to the hospital but when they went to the hospital, they took me along with them.

Story 34: Family lost to Alcohol Raju ran away from home once to light a candle at his dead father’s grave as he though he would not be allowed to meet him or his relatives. Now he goes to meet them in holidays. He recounts how his family got scattered and destroyed due to alchohol.

Raju tells his story We were a happy family living at Tukaram gate near Subhash temple in Hyderabad.

Gradually, my father got addicted to alcohol and my mother and granny too, got addicted.

Inebriated, he sold all household articles for money to drink and he created nuisance in the locality. All neighbours shut their doors to avoid his nuisance and the police did not come to control him.

He used to quarrel with his brother- my uncle. One day in inebriated condition, he beat me and my mother severely therefore, my mother went to her parent’s home. One day, all my 114

relatives came and thrashed him in order to make him stop his habit. He did not quit drinking and eventually died of white jaundice. After my father’s death, my mother admitted the three of us in school. I studied well at the school in Secuderabad, where my teacher used to encourage me and waived the fee. But after joining school at Lalaguda, I lost interest in studies, roamed round with friends and played video games. Two years elapsed like this.

One day, my mother beat me and admitted me to another school in class 1. Owing to gap in my studies, all my class mates were younger to me and all spoke in English. I didn’t know English. There was no atmosphere for studies around in our basti (slum). I was going to school out of sheer fear of my mother and occasionally used to bunk classes; sometime for 3- 4 days. I completed my homework with my cousin brother’s help who studied in class 9.

One day my mother’s uncle came to our house. Both of them drank heavily and chatted for long. Then they went out in the evening and my mother never returned. I became panicky. We all roamed round in search, walking, taking the photo of my mother with us for identification, but in vain. After 15 days, we came to know that she was murdered and thrown in deserted railway quarter at Mettuguda. The police had found her corpse. The police had established that her uncle (who drank heavily)and his friend (who proposed to marry my mother) killed her, to gain her golden ornaments. They admitted their crime but were released subsequently.

I stayed in maternal aunt’s house for a while during my mother’s last ceremonies. Then, I shifted to my paternal uncle’s house at Mehidipatnam. He had two daughters and he took care of me as he had no male child. My sisters lived in paternal aunt’s house. We met now and then, on occasions.

Story 35: Left Alone with Faded Memories Sidharth does not remember of how his mother died. He was told how it happened. He remembers his father’s death and the misery that befell later.

Sidharth tells his story I live in Hyderabad Kacheguda. My family migrated to Hyderabad from Gulbarga. When I was in class 4, my mother drowned in a well, and my father drank himself to death. After that, I went and lived with my paternal grandmother. My grandmother told akka (sister) that I am very mischievous and do not study. My aunt tried her best to stop me from going to the residential home. She even beat me, to stop me.

When I stayed with them, my aunt and uncle slept till very late but beat me to wake me up early. My duties included sweeping the house, rolling up the mats and disposing off the garbage. I was hardly given any breakfast. My aunt would go to work and I would go hungry or eat in the community hall. My aunt brought some rice in a box, when she returned from work. She never gave me sweets, fruits and snacks. She gave those to her own children.

She shared the box of rice with me.

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My uncle would sleep in the auto. He didn’t come home regularly. He gave all that he earned, to my aunt. If he earned well, they went out to eat. If he earned very well, he would take us out too.

They didn’t spend on TV, fans, lights and we went to bed without them.

I was very young, when my mother died. My father was a good man. He gave me things to eat. One day, he came home drunk and swaggering and created a big fight, and my grandmother hit him on his hand. Since then, he stopped driving and started begging.

One day,while he was drunk, he tried to get into crowded moving bus. He slipped and fell and suffered a fatal stroke.

I asked how my mom died. I was told that my father beat her and she ran out of the house.

At that time, my mother was caught by the police and beaten up and jailed. She ganged up with some thieves(in the jail) and escaped. Then the police came home, looking for her. Just then, those thieves bumped her off by throwing her into a well. I tried to run to the well, but my aunt held me tight. Ever since, she has looked after me. When my mother fell into the well, there was no police there. They did not make any attempt to catch the thieves, either.

My father grieved for her, in his heart and I would try to console him. He buried himself in alcohol. My aunt never liked me to go home and visit my father, as I would work for them.

That’s why she shouted abuses at akka when she was taking me away to the home. Then I felt like yelling at my aunt, but I held back because I was afraid she would hit me and my uncle.

My uncle’s two children (a boy and a girl) were good to me.

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Conclusion: The thirty five detailed stories of experiences of childhood lived on the street, bring forth understanding on five major areas: education, health, nutrition, employment and relations on the street. Apart from this, it shows how girls approach the resources available as compared to boys. This is however, not gender specific, as it also depends upon resources available for both groups. One can also see a comparative between the younger children telling details of their experiences and older children, making sense of their coping mechanisms.

Most of the children in the study received formal or informal education for a certain number of years. Those who suffered distress as drought, penury or had an itinerant life did not get enrolled in schools. In most of the cases, where parents could, they put the child in school or an informal education. Children shared that they found studies hard and that school was a space to spend time with friends, place for taking rest and running away from all work.

Wherever they could find opportunity, they went and admitted themselves as they wanted to be educated. Whether it was informal school or vocational training, regardless of whether it was in the remand home, street or in the villages they migrated from.

As far as the health is concerned, it is striking that the children did not consider fever and diarrhea as illness. For them, illness is jaundice, tuberculosis etc.; the illness that keeps them in bed for longer periods of time. They share that diarrhea is common and can last for up to two months, but that is not an illness. They usually do not consult a doctor as it is expensive.

They go for medical assistance, if any is available or sleep for days, till they get well. Those days, they beg and eat. For children in labour, this is not possible, as they are not allowed to take leave.

Almost all of them take some drug or the other, depending upon the kind of work they do. Those who beg, take more drugs than those who do physical labour, as taking drugs, incapacitates doing hard physical labour. All of them say that they are led into drugs by their own friends and elders, as it is present all around them In few cases, however, they restrain from taking drugs as they want to work hard, earn money or consider it below the dignity of their caste.

The children sleep for about 4-5 hours a day. They usually sleep at 12:00 am and wake up by 4:00 am for their work whether it is domestic help, picking plastic bottles from the train, lifting scrap or working at parties. For girls, even these four hours of sleep is not sound as keeping half-awake, keeps them protected. Boys sleep in groups and find places to hide and sleep, in order to protect themselves. Both the boys and girls say, they avoid coming near the perpetrator, but cannot help in situations, where their own parents do not support them.

The children share that they have money to spend on food though it is mostly bought, received as alms or left-overs. Children, who leave homes to earn, usually end up working in the hotels as the employers give them food to eat, rather than wages. Children, who worked as 117

domestic help, did not get adequate food. They were expected to eat what they got and were usually given small portions of food, at large intervals of time.

The children had to leave their own families due to severe illness of the mother, death of both the parents and grandfather or due to penury of the family and sickness of the father.

Though they had family ties, they could not live with them. They visited them when they could.

Children who do not wish to go back to their families or whose families cannot be traced preferred to stay with the organisation concerned.

In cases where the child is left with the relatives, she does household chores. In most of the cases, children also decide which part of their family identity they wish to reveal. They build relationships on street to forget their own identity, for finding jobs or for places to live.

As regards employment, a majority of the girls are engaged in rag picking as that ensures a place to sleep and a plate of food. Boys engage in rag picking as well as in petty thefts, in tea stalls and daily labour. Working in tea stalls gets them food and they do other jobs for money. Boys tell that they run away from home to earn money and do not go back unless they have some money with them.

The girls were employed as domestic help usually came through unregistered agents. They were told they would study with their employers, but they were ill-treated. They had separate plates, long work hours, left overs for food, no medicines for illness and humiliation.

Further, there was a difference in the kind of resources for the girls and boys. There was a difference in how the girls and boys approached the resources around places they stayed, built friendships and engaged themselves to earn a survival on the streets. The girls had enough money for food after begging but they did not have mechanism to save money, more than that of boys, unless an NGO provided a facility to save money. They girls were more dependent on friendships and a secure place to sleep in. Five out of nineteen girls were engaged in domestic work whereas two boys were engaged in farm related work.

As the study is done with children as young as 10 years till 22 years, there is a difference in which the younger and older children articulate their experiences. Whereas, the younger children share their detailed experiences of childhood, the older children, tell why they think, things happened and why they coped, the way they did.

In all the stories however, there is an element of enduring and crying alone. Whether it is Shubham, who cries for his mother during the chhathpooja, Anju who cries alone as she has to take care of her siblings or Samar, who could not communicate with the others, they all cry alone, endure and pose a strong faรงade. All of them said that they do not share their past lives with their friends, as would feel weak after doing so. They hardly had someone, they could share everything with.

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London: Springer.

Aptekar, L. (1994). Street Children in the Developing World: a review of their condition. In Cross-cultural Research, 28 (3), pp. 195-224.

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Giroux, H.A. (2005) (Updated Edition). Schooling and Struggle for Public Life: Democracy’s Promise and Education’s Challenge. Boulder: Paradigm Publishers.

Mander, H. (2011). Unheard Voices: stories of forgotten lives. Delhi: Penguin Books.

Mtonga, J. (December 2011). On and Off the Streets: children moving between institutional care and survival on the streets. Master in Philosophy in Childhood Studies, Norwegian University of Science and Technology, Faculty of Social Sciences and Technology Management. Norwegian Center for Child Research (NSOEB).Accessed from www.ntnu.org on 3rd December 2015.

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