June 2012 by DMI Agency

y o u r

c e n t r a l

v a l l e y

f a m i l y

r e s o u r c e

12 20 E JUN

HUMOR

Parenting: We’re All Winging It!

TECHNOLOGY Smart Phone, Stupid Choices

MOTIVATION

A Better Way to Motivate Our Children

RAISE MAGAZINE | JUNE 2012

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RAISE MAGAZINE | JUNE 2012

EDITOR’S LETTER

Welcome to RAISE... The Central Valley’s only magazine designed for parents of children ages pre-K through high school. Within RAISE you will find information and resources every parent needs when raising a family – both informative and entertaining. We hope you enjoy what we have in store for this first issue.

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Why RAISE? While parenting has never been easy, the challenges and questions today’s parents have are too numerous to list. Just keeping up with changing technology is daunting. We don’t want to get so focused on avoiding the negative – the ugliness on the nightly news, dangers on the Internet, ups and downs of peer pressure – that we forget to do the positive! Of course we want to protect our kids, but that’s only half of the equation. We also want to enjoy the short years we have with them, create lasting memories of special times together, and develop solid character traits in them so they can become caring, productive adults. Why Now? What better time to introduce this exciting new magazine than right before the kids get out of school for summer? If you’re like most families, you’ve been so busy wrapping up the school year you’ve not had time to think ahead to summer. Now’s your chance. Whether you are looking for fun summer camps to create those lasting memories, or an educational experience your child won’t soon forget, RAISE is your source for summer and year-round activities. What’s Inside? RAISE will include tips about social media safety from contributing writers such as District Attorney Phil Cline, or the right kind of motivation for children from Licensed Educational Psychologist Barry Sommer. You’ll also find special interest articles on topics like Water Safety, and a comprehensive resource guide for important phone numbers at a glance. Are you raising a picky eater? If you answered “yes,” you’ll find some ideas in the Nutrition section. Finally, as serious as parenting can be, some days every parent still needs a little humor to get by. RAISE humor writer Crystal R. R. Edwards provides laughter, and maybe a few tears, with her column on the adventures of parenting. Where? RAISE can be found at more than 90 locations throughout the Central Valley. Look for RAISE in hospital lobbies and doctors’ offices, fitness facilities, restaurants, hotels, coffee shops and other high-traffic retailers. If you have a business and would like to be considered as a distribution location, please let us know. We hope you enjoy this issue of RAISE, as we connect our community through inspiring stories, insightful articles, and always useful and meaningful resources. From our family to yours,

Karen Tellalian, EXECUTIVE EDITOR For more information or to submit a story idea, email Karen@dmiagency.com or call (559) 739-1747 or fax (559) 738-0909.

RAISE MAGAZINE | JUNE 2012

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JUNE 2012

Gardening Drink Your Milk, Grow Your Veggies

PUBLISHED BY DMI Agency 801 W. Main St. Visalia, CA 93291 EDITORIAL Executive Editor Karen Tellalian Assistant Editor TAYLOR VAUGHN Content Editor Kyndal Kennedy ART & PRODUCTION Art Director ROSS Yukawa

in this issue

Senior Graphic Designer CHRIS BLY

Humor

Dental Health

Parenting: We’re All Winging It!

Summer Camps

Technology

20 Calendar

Smart Phone, Stupid Choices

Positive Parenting

A Step in the Right Direction

10 Education

23 Resources

BUSINESS MANAGEMENT Malkasian Accountancy LLP Gary Malkasian CPA JEFFREY Malkasian EA Operations Manager Maria Gaston ADVERTISING SALES Advertising Director Bridget Elmore SALES OFFICE 801 W. Main St. Visalia, CA 93291 559.739.1747 • Fax 559.738.0909

Do You Have a Smart Child with a School Problem?

14 Nutrition

3 Under 3

16 Motivation

A Better Way to Motivate Our Children

17 Safety

Water Safety: Scenarios and Tips

22 Family Law

Cover photo by Elly Jo Photography

Stay Out of Court: Family Law Litigation

Raise Magazine is distributed in Visalia, Exeter, Woodlake and Tulare. If you would like copies available at your business, call 559.739.1747 Raise Magazine is published 12 times a year and distributed at hightraffic locations in the South Valley Area. For a list of locations, call the DMI Agency office. Views expressed in columns are those of the columnist and not necessarily those of DMI Agency or its advertisers. © 2012 DMI Agency

RAISE MAGAZINE | JUNE 2012

HUMOR

Parenting: We’re All Winging It! Text by Crystal R. R. Edwards

n early March, I had the opportunity to teach education professionals how to incorporate social media into their PR campaigns at SXSWedu. For the uncool people like me, I should explain: SXSWedu is an annual conference in Austin, Texas. It is attended by leading innovators, education policy-makers, and school administrators from all over the world. In other words, this is where the smart people come to get smarter. A stellar gathering, and that’s not an exaggeration. I was intimidated – not just because I am not a smart people (I love fart jokes), and not just because there is no hope for me to get smarter (I love to write fart jokes), but because I am the poster child for clueless parenting. From the moment I walked into the Austin Hilton Hotel, I was terrified someone was going to come yank my ID badge away from me and expose me for a fraud. “She doesn’t know what her kids wore to school today!” this big badge-yanking meanie would exclaim to the thousands of kid-savvy professionals gathered in the hallways. “And,” they would add shrilly, “she forgot to sign the daily homework folder last night!” And then a riot would start and I would be escorted from the building and put in a holding cell and mess up my one phone call by accidentally dialing a crazy cat lady who I would be too nice to hang up on, so I’d sit on the phone with her for 45 minutes listening to a laundry list of issues her sweet furbabies had and finding myself tearyeyed and completely sympathizing while unsmiling police and probably the Secret Service stared stoney-eyed at me as I gave advice for pilling Mr. Theodore Whiskergiggles. The. Jig. Was. Up. Sure, I know marketing, and sure, I know how to teach even the self-proclaimed “unteachable ones” how to do it and not start a PR nightmare, a fire, or a riot in the Austin Hilton Hotel grand ballroom hallway. But my professional confidence could not cover my bonerattling insecurity when it came to... well, kids. And kids were the whole reason they were there. The awful truth is, I don’t know what I’m doing as a parent. Even worse, when I do figure something out (“You mean, I shouldn’t let them try to parachute off the top of a playscape? Who knew?!”), I flake out after a little while and forget again. Everything I practice is the childrearing equivalent of whatchagot stew. So I decided that, alongside coaching others on social media, I would watch and listen to their thoughts on short people who play with boogers and eat paste. I would soak up everything I could, then use my new-found knowledge to craft a parenting plan for my little brood that would be brilliant and cutting-edge.

After the first day of listening, I realized that these adults, these experts, were as clueless as I am. There was one speaker, a lovely woman by the name of Jane McGonigal, who heads up a project called SuperBetter. This project incorporates alternate reality gaming into curriculum. The theory is that a player’s physical health improves throughout the game, and its socialgaming aspect creates a built-in fitness support group for the gaming student. Isn’t this amazing? And it’s true, if my family’s Wii Fit Plus game is any proof. But soon after I tickled my braincells with this wisdom about fitness in a video gaming atmosphere, I overheard a child development guru discussing how any gaming at all inhibits the blah blah and causes the blabbity-blah to blah and curl up and die and then the kid becomes wall art. What? But... but... the game makes kids get up and move. And moving is good. And gaming (according to another speaker) sparks creativity through problem-solving methodology and WHAT ABOUT ALL THE MONEY I SPENT BUYING THAT STUPID WII?! I was surrounded by thousands of top-notch thought leaders, and they were doing what I do: winging it. Some of them based their winging it on science. Some of them based their winging it on carefullystudied developmental theories. But they all, to a person, were flapping their wings the same way I do, because you know what? There’s no one-size-fits-all method. A game-your-way-to-health and supreme problem-solving skills program is perfect for one child, and another child who tries it turns into an indecisive Picasso. My children are 11, 7, and 5 now. I have 23 years’ combined experience as a parent. Each child is very different from the other. I am a professional winger. (No, not wingnut. Stop that. Winger. I think it’s a real word.) My only real parenting skill is that I accept their differences and sometimes have to wait for the kid to tell me how they need to learn. I only need to wait. And oh! I can wait. I am very patient about this. Don’t mistake my waiting for laziness, either. It is an active waiting, because it is also listening – not just with my ears, but with my eyes, and my hugs, and my smile, and my sometimes-ability to stop being a Parent and just be a Mom. I am a little more secure about my parenting this morning. I have a parachute packed, and we’re heading to the playscape after school today. They can float down, while I flap my wings. We’re going to land safely, no matter what.

RAISE MAGAZINE | JUNE 2012

TECHNOLOGY

THE DANGERS OF SOCIAL MEDIA

Smart Phone, Stupid Choices

hen it comes to the dangers of social media, 10 years ago, most of us would not have recognized the following terminology: cyberbullying, online harassment, sexting, flash mobs or digital footprint. A cursory look at those words would cause one to think we have entered into a complex new world. Technology has changed, but much of human nature remains the same. We have always taught our children how to deal with bullies; we have worried about our children’s social engagements; we’ve reminded them that reputations are hard won, but easily lost. So let’s address technology, the law, tips for parents, ways to ensure young people make smart choices with their “smart” phones, and educate parents about the potential dangers that are inherent with today’s technology. Social Networking Once we were concerned about a predator in our neighborhood. Now, via the Internet, our neighborhoods are suddenly a whole lot bigger. According to the Pew Research Center’s 2011 Internet research, 95 percent of all teens ages 12-17 are now online, and 80 percent of those teenagers are using social networking sites. A social networking site, like Facebook, is a good way to connect with friends and family, however, it also places a teenager in a much bigger “neighborhood” than a parent may realize. In the same study, 88 percent of teenagers said they have seen someone act cruelly to another person on a social networking site. Twitter became a phenomenal resource during the Arab Spring and during the Japanese tsunami; however, it is also used to broadcast locations for teenagers to meet to create chaos, known as “flash mobs.”

RAISE MAGAZINE | JUNE 2012

Text by Phil Cline, District Attorney

Texting/Sexting No one can deny the advantages of cell phones and the ability to text a quick message to a family member. Via text message, a parent might learn that band practice is ending early or there is an emergency at the school. In the past, we may have slipped a carefully folded note into a locker, or passed a note during algebra class. Today teenagers are using their phones to communicate with each other. Some studies show teens are sending thousands of text messages in a single month. Again, most of these text messages are harmless, amounting to nothing worse than wasting time. However, a text that contains sexual content, or a nude photograph, is cause for concern. In crimes such as stalking, domestic violence, teen dating violence, and other sex-related crimes, there are often elements of technology involved. There is a concentrated effort in Tulare County to reach teenagers and their parents in an effort to safeguard them against predators and to warn them of how a lasting imprint of bad decisions made over the Internet can impact their lives. Next month, we will explore this world – which our young people seem to navigate with ease and sometimes with disregard for consequences – as well as discuss the steps the Tulare County District Attorney’s Office is taking in order to keep our youth safe and to ensure predators are stopped. Common text and chat abbreviations and slang: BRB – Be Right Back LOL – Laughing Out Loud LMBO – Laughing My Butt Off TTYL – Talk To You Later 143 – I love you SMH – Shaking My Head 303 – Mom

BTW – By The Way IRL – In Real Life JK – Just Kidding IDK – I Dont Know RUOK – Are you okay? ROTFL – Rolling On The Floor Laughing

TECHNOLOGY

SYNERGY Natural Health Fair 1st Annual, outdoor June 9, 2012 · 10 am-2 pm · Saturday

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F m/NH he vendo ill ma We w et with the Synergy.co ters you in t . a k i n S e al pac w.Vis -0644) also zing PRIZE w w t a a 5 s Detail nline (or 63 ays and am to win.) o t g taw n i r e ist ing ge presen e b o **Reg gs for relax t need drawin o Not

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Restoring

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Health

An Independent Practice Association providing

excellence in mental and behavioral health care delivery in Central California Kristin Sorensen Alldredge, LMFT

Melinda L. Mauro, LCSW

Ross M. Becker, PhD, LCSW

Mary K. McDonald, PhD

Frances E. Becker, LCSW Paul C. Bennett, LCSW

Lisa A. Miller, PhD

Sandra T. Bennett, LCSW

Lori Pasion-Gonzales, PhD

Linda Del Rio, LMFT

Diane B. Post, LCSW

Lynn W. Gonzales, LCSW

David G. Richards, LCSW

Sue Enterline, LCSW

Colleen Richards, LCSW

Jacquelyn Harris-Groeber, PhD

Life

Health-promoting businesses Each business is hand-picked by Dr. Hobbs to provide solutions for people with chronic conditions and those who want to stay healthy, the natural way.

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Hands-on Projects for Kids FREE Chair Massage for Adults Scheduled Events 10:00-10:05 - Welcome by Dr. Hobbs 10:10-10:25 - Music or Dance exhibition 10:30-10:45 - to be announced 10:50-11:10 - Zumba (by IN-SHAPE) 11:15-11:30 - “Foods that Harm” 11:35-11:45 - Reaching Youth Karate 11:45-11:55 - Danny Brichta karate 12:00-12:10 - ADHD & Autism & Healing 12:15-12:30 - Food Contest Winners 12:35-12:50 - Zumba (by IN-SHAPE) 1:15-1:30 - Yoga demonstration 1:35-1:45 - Thyroid and Fatigue- Dr. Hobbs 1:50-2:00 - “Best Booths” contest winners

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More details, schedule of events, & PRIZE registration at : www.VisaliaSynergy.com/NHF Interested in a booth or Sponsorship? Contact Maryjane at 972-2745

RAISE MAGAZINE | JUNE 2012

POSITIVE PARENTING

A step

in the

Right Direction J Text by Children’s Services Network of Tulare County

“Children are the world’s most valuable resource and its best hope for the future.”

RAISE MAGAZINE | JUNE 2012

ohn F. Kennedy made this statement more than 40 years ago, and it still rings true today. Yet, here in Tulare County, there are countless children who are not receiving the type of care and protection that lead to a promising future. The Children’s Services Network (CSN) is a collaborative network of Tulare County organizations that was formed to address this issue. Since 2006, CSN has advocated for children by increasing the amount of health and educational services available in our county and by strengthening existing services in order to maximize the ability of children to be safe and healthy, and to thrive. Members of CSN include representatives from juvenile justice, education, Child Welfare Services, community-based organizations, the Department of Public Health, and the Department of Mental Health. CSN knows that no one has more opportunity to influence the well-being of children than those who are raising them. And any parent will agree that children come with their fair share (okay, sometimes it doesn’t seem so fair!) of challenges. There is an overwhelming amount of pressure to be the perfect parent and handle every challenge perfectly. The reality is that there is no such thing as a perfect parent. However, experts do agree that being positive is essential to raising healthy, happy children. The concept of positive parenting includes having a positive attitude about your life and instilling a positive sense of well-being in your child. As a parent, there are a few key ways you can promote a sense of well-being, including: • Empowering your children to make their own decisions and be independent. Gently guide them when they need it, but give them an opportunity to make their own choices and experience things on their own. • Spending quality time with your children. They will be more comfortable communicating with you when you actively engage with them. • Showing them your unconditional love. When they make mistakes and frustrate you, let your children know that you still love them, despite their slip-ups. Positive parenting has been shown to improve relationships between parents and their children, and to encourage the healthy development of children. A study published in the American Psychological Association’s Journal, Developmental Psychology, found that early positive parenting leads to fewer conduct problems as children grow up. Over the next several months, CSN will promote positive parenting with a series of articles, each article focusing on a specific parenting topic. Insights from national and local experts will be presented, along with first hand stories from local parents. As an additional means of spreading the word of positive parenting, CSN members are distributing themed postcards for children to color and mail to their parents. CSN-sponsored community forums will be held to further encourage discussions about parenting topics. With these efforts, CSN hopes to support parents’ endeavors to provide the care and protection that will help children reach their full potential, and make the future brighter.

POSITIVE PARENTING

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call: 559.375.4805 | email: scarl@passionineducation.com Click on THE BRIDGE ACADEMY for registration forms, view a list of classes and payment options at www.passionineducation.com

RAISE MAGAZINE | JUNE 2012

EDUCATION

Do You Have a Smart Child with a School Problem? Text by Jeri Burzin, Board Certified Educational Therapist

illions of children and adults of normal and superior intelligence experience academic difficulty, and even failure, when they don’t respond to traditional teaching methods. But many have unique learning styles and are able to progress successfully when appropriate educational programs are put into place. Warning signs may include difficulty connecting sounds with letters, learning to read, remembering printed words, spelling correctly after much practice, understanding directions, recalling math facts, finishing homework on time, organizing time, tasks material, and more. There are many things a parent can do, including staying in close communication with the teacher. Questions to ask: “Is homework being completed and handed in on time, or is it left in my child’s backpack? Does my child participate and behave in class? What kind of difficulties does my child seem to be having?” Parents should establish regular communication with the teacher, daily if necessary. At home, a regular time and place for homework that is free of distractions should be established. Help your child divide work by assignment and assign time for each. Make sure your child has a binder,

RAISE MAGAZINE | JUNE 2012

with sections for each subject, and for homework and papers to be signed and returned. Check the binder regularly so that papers are in order. Note if your child understands how to do their homework, and if it takes more time than you think it should. Encourage your child to read, read, read, based on interests. Discuss the stories together and ask questions using what, why, where, when, and how. Have your child make predictions about what will happen next and see how well they can summarize the story. Can your child say who the main characters are and tell you the main idea? Suggest educational television programs and use of the computer to do research and pursue their interests. Extracurricular activities are important; take the time to recognize and value your child’s strengths, and help them appreciate and unwrap the gift of their mind. If your child has been struggling and getting poor grades for awhile, consider asking the teacher what interventions have been tried, and what progress has been made. Has it been six months, a year, more? It may be time to consider an educational assessment, to evaluate your child’s strengths and challenges, and to determine the interventions necessary in order for your child to be successful.

DENTAL HEALTH

Cavities, Caries and Baby Teeth Text by Mariya Grigoryan, D.M.D.

aby teeth play a very important role in the development of the adult teeth and jaw relationship. Baby teeth maintain space for the adult teeth to come in. If lost too early, remaining teeth drift and the spaces for adult teeth are lost. While some parents don’t think it matters if kids get cavities in their baby teeth, decay can lead to serious complications in children who haven’t gotten their permanent teeth, including tooth abscesses, chewing problems, pain and infections. A cavity is a small infection in the tooth that destroys the tooth material. Cavity-causing bacteria usually are transferred to baby through mother or primary caregiver. Babies naturally experience hunger and need comforting during the night. Generally, baby teeth start erupting into the oral cavity about six months after birth. Caries occur with frequent contact with sugars from liquid carbohydrates such as milk, fruit juice, formula and sweet drinks. Avoid comforting the baby by providing mentioned drinks. Some preventative measures could be taken to decrease possibilities of caries formation: • At bedtime, avoid bottles filled with sugary liquids – just provide plain water. These sugary substances, especially at nighttime, have prolonged contact with teeth, thus providing food for the cariescausing bacteria. • Do not add sugars to the child’s food.

• Do not dip pacifiers in sugar, honey or juice, or clean the pacifier by licking it yourself. • Infants should finish their bedtime bottle before going to bed. • Wipe the baby’s gums with a wet, clean washcloth to remove plaque formation. • Caregivers should brush the child’s teeth until the child develops the proper skills to brush effectively – until age six. • Encourage healthy eating habits by feeding kids fresh fruits, vegetables and whole grains. • When the child can spit and not swallow toothpaste (usually not before age two), begin brushing the teeth with a pea-size amount of toothpaste containing fluoride. Ask your dental provider about the child’s fluoride needs. • Instead of bottled water, opt for fluoridated tap water that can help defend against cavities. According to the New York Times, dentists are now seeing many preschoolers with cavities and severe tooth decay – so much so that there is a huge increase in young children who need general anesthesia for dental procedures. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention also reported a rise in cavities in the baby teeth. The largest spike was found among 2-5-year olds. The report stated that 42 percent of kids ages 2-11 had cavities in their primary teeth. Always remember caries can spread, thus you should take your child for frequent dental check-ups. Preferably these check-ups should begin within six months after the first tooth appears in the oral cavity. Develop an open and trusting relationship with your dentist to aid your child’s dental health. Starting infants off with good oral care can help protect their teeth for decades to come.

Gentle, Caring Touch Dentistry At the office of Dr. Mariya Grigoryan your child's smile is our priority. We offer comprehensive care for the whole family.

• Periodontal Care • Laser Treatments • Restorative Work • Orthodontics • Teeth Whitening • Implants THE OFFICE OF

Dr. Mariya Grigoryan, D.M.D. 2634 W. Walnut Ave. Visalia CA 93277 p 559.732.7224

The Grigoryan family Simon, Mariya, Hyke and Gary

Boston Graduate School of Dentistry, Certificate for Orthodontic Treatment Certificate for Oral Conscience Sedation, Fellowship Recognition for Implant Placement Member American Dental Implant Association, Certificate for San Francisco Implant Placement

RAISE MAGAZINE | JUNE 2012

GARDENING

DRINK You Grow Your Veggies! Text by Susan Schieferle, Master Gardener

Wood Industries will provide a FREE gallon bag of garden soil to any child who stops in to start a garden project! 7715 Ave. 296, Visalia | 559.625.9426

RAISE MAGAZINE | JUNE 2012

GARDENING

ur Milk, P

arents, do you want to instill more responsibility in your children? Do you want your children to have a stronger self-esteem? Would you like your children to eat healthier? Would you like to increase your children’s math, science, health and nutrition skills? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then growing vegetables is the hobby for you. The simple process of planting a seed together will help you to nurture your children into more responsible, independent little people. Plus, they will be developing a stronger sense of well-being and want to try new vegetables that they have grown themselves. No room in your yard to grow? No problem. If you have a porch or patio with sunlight, you have a perfect growing spot for container vegetable gardening. Look around your home, garage or dollar store for the perfect growing container. Would you believe that a one-gallon milk carton can produce luscious jalapeno peppers. An old plastic toy bin could produce not only peppers but tomatoes and basil to make homemade pizza. Even a reusable grocery bag can be a container. As long as your container has holes for drainage, you are set to go. Let’s get started. What you need: 1. A one gallon plastic milk carton 2. Potting soil that contains perlite (water retaining crystals) and fertilizer 3. Seeds or seedlings (For faster results in the month of May, I suggest purchasing a seedling. A jalapeno pepper seedling is just about the right size for a one gallon container.) 4. Water

Prep: 1. Cut off the very top of a plastic milk carton (better to have an adult do this) 2. Wash and dry the carton thoroughly 3. Punch a couple holes in the bottom of the container 4. Fill with purchased container with potting soil 5. Leave 2-3 inches at the top for watering

Gardening word and tip:

Mulch is a protective cover on soil to keep moisture in and help keep weeds out! Mulching over your seedling is a good idea. Popular choices include compost, leaf and grass clippings, straw or shredded bark.

prep

Plant: 1. Dig a hole deeper and wider than your seedling 2. Carefully lift the seedling from its purchased pot 3. Holding the base of the stem, gently massage the roots to open them up for air, water and nutrients to flow through 4. Your seedling is ready for planting into the hole 5. Cover the hole gently, making a “finger bowl” around the seedling where water will seep down into the roots 6. Water gently 7. Set your container on a sunny patio or porch and watch your seedling grow into a plant Just because the soil looks dry on top does not mean it needs water. Check water daily by inserting a finger deep into the soil. If you feel moisture, your seedling does not need water. If there is no moisture on your finger, the seedling does need water. Be careful not to over–water.

plant

Now, watch your seedling grow into a plant. Once a week, measure and plot the growth on a chart or in a garden journal. Keep it fun. You will be surprised how fast the seedling grows once it becomes established in its container. Remember to lightly fertilize every month with a vegetable fertilizer for maximum harvest. watch it grow!

RAISE MAGAZINE | JUNE 2012

NUTRITION

Text by Justin and Rebecca Reynolds, Local Business Owners

ungry children are whiny children and creating snacks and meals that entice them to eat healthy isn’t always an easy task. But don’t despair! Proper nutrition is oftentimes found in the simplest of ingredients that can easily be transformed into fun and tasty meals for our little ones. To encourage children to eat a healthy lunch, entice them with the opportunity to help. Get out the bread, peanut butter, honey and get them involved in creating an edible masterpiece that they will love. Almost anything can be created with cookie cutters, a peanut butter and honey sandwich and whatever other vegetables and fruits you have waiting to be devoured from your fridge. With a little help from mom, a wildlife animal, big-eyed owl, or an oceanic scene can be created right at the table of your hungry little helper. As your child sees the scene unfold, he will be salivating with excitement to “dig in” to his creation. Now, you ask yourself, “Why peanut butter and honey? How is this beneficial to my child?” Peanut butter is a good source of protein – protein is good for muscle support and keeping your stomach full. If kids are growing, feeding their muscles while they are growing is good. The sandwich has around 7 grams of protein and, with a small glass of whole milk (8 ounces), totalling around 16-20 grams of protein in that simple meal. Raw honey is sweet, delicious and has good allergy and immune support. Using locally grown raw honey is most beneficial because it’s produced by bees that are from the environment you live in and will therefore contain the immune stimulating properties needed for your body to adapt to its environment. Honey is a healthy way for your child to get a natural energy boost and the carbohydrates that are contained in it supply your child with the strength needed for endurance and a reduction in muscle fatigue. Child allergies can be a worry with both peanut butter and honey. Almond butter is less allergenic than peanut butter and the protein amounts are similar by comparison, which makes it a delicious and nutritious alternative. If your child has an allergy to honey, use jelly. Classic peanut butter (or almond butter) and jelly will also have the same protein benefits and makes for a sweet, nutritious sandwich. So, when your child asks for his daily ration of peanut butter and honey sandwiches, happily comply. Use lunchtime as an opportunity for creativity, art and nutrition. Eating healthy meals will start to become fun and enjoyable – for both child and parent.

No Honey for Your Little Honey Honey is one of nature’s most delicious gifts. But never give it to your baby. Children under 12 months can contract infant botulism, a serious illness, from spores in honey. Botulism spores can grow in the intestines of infants, releasing a very harmful poison. A baby who has this disease may be weak, constipated, and eat poorly. In extreme cases, the baby may stop breathing and die. Never give your baby honey in any form. It’s not a risk worth taking. For more information, visit infantbotulism.org or healthychildren.org. Peanut Allergies on the Rise When George Washington Carver discovered over 300 uses for

RAISE MAGAZINE | JUNE 2012

the humble peanut, he probably didn’t anticipate peanut allergies like we see today. About two percent of children are allergic to peanuts, more than triple the amount reported in 1987. Symptoms of peanut allergy can include skin reactions, digestive problem, dizziness and respiratory problems. In severe cases, death can result from exposure to even a tiny amount. Be aware that peanuts can be found in Asian and Mexican dishes, some vegetarian foods, sauces, salad dressing and sweets. If your child has a reaction to peanuts or peanut butter, even if she hasn’t previously had a reaction, please see a doctor. If the reaction is severe, call 9-1-1 immediately. For more information, visit www.foodallergy.org.

NUTRITION

RAISE MAGAZINE | JUNE 2012

MOTIVATION

A Better Way to Motivate Our Children Text by Barry Sommer, Licensed Educational Psychologist

ow do we best motivate our children? Do carrots and sticks really shape the behavior of our loved ones? Can we punish our kids by using tangible rewards? The seemingly easiest strategy to help motivate kids is to promise them something in return for their cooperation, but it is not the answer. When we deliver tangible rewards (food, toys, money) to children for expected behaviors, we may interfere with their natural enthusiasm and drive to learn, explore and succeed. There is really clear evidence that the science of motivation and our parenting practices are often out of alignment. The truth may be surprising! Motivated children become successful, motivated adults. All children are different, but as a parent you have a large role to play in whether or not your child will be motivated to do his or her best in school, sports, community service – in life. Though extrinsic rewards and punishment can influence behavior, they are less effective then we might think for most children. For instance, there is no evidence that monetary rewards for good report card grades improve school achievement. After careful scientific study, Dan Pink, in a great recent book called Drive, describes the three universal components of human motivation – autonomy, mastery and purpose. These three core elements do a much better job of motivating children to work hard, do their best, seek excellence and do so willingly. Autonomy refers to choice. Even with very young children, we can offer “forced choices” – “Would you like to wear your red pants or your blue ones today?” When we offer two choices that both bring acceptable outcomes, children feel empowered. Then we can reinforce – “You chose the red ones, your favorite. You’re the kind of boy/girl who makes good decisions!” This will lay a strong foundation for the future. Three-year-olds who make good choices are much more likely to become 16-year-olds who make good choices. Children and adolescents do best when they have some voice and choice in how they accomplish a task, how they solve problems, and how they make the journey to success. In fact, in our efforts to protect our children from pain, hurt and frustration, we often

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micromanage them and insulate them from the very experiences upon which lifelong learning is based. A recent article asked the important question, “What if the key to success is failure?” Grit, perseverance, and the ability to delay gratification are building blocks to motivation and drive. “It’s not that I’m so smart,” Albert Einstein once said, “It’s just that I stay with tough problems longer.” Mastery refers to getting better at something over time. Growth and effort trump innate talent. Our children stay motivated and energized when we help them see the benefits of their efforts and practice. Recognize and reinforce progress with smiles and verbal encouragement. “Look at that improvement on the backstroke. You’ve practiced hard. That time is your personal best!” Expect a lot. Know your child’s gifts, strengths and weaknesses and communicate clearly what steps are likely to contribute to their success. Help them set goals that are specific, achievable and measurable. We can support children’s intrinsic motivation by talking with them about their purpose. We all have more energy and effort to deliver when we are working for something bigger than ourselves, some overarching goal, a dream. Highlight examples and good models of people they know who have accomplished good things because they were focused and purposeful. All children are wired differently and therefore need us to respond differently to them to support their intrinsic motivation. Yet we can recognize that our intuitive and often well-rehearsed practices of punishment and reward are less effective when we look at results objectively. Consider the science of motivation and recognize the secret to high performance is the deeply human need to direct our own lives, to learn and create new things, and to do better by ourselves and our world.

SAFETY

Water Safety: Scenarios and Tips Text by Sergeant Amy Watkins, Visalia Police Department

fter 10 straight days of temperatures over 108 degrees, the weather begins to cool in the Central Valley. On this day in mid-July, the temperature has dropped to 95 degrees at noon and many children emerge from their airconditioned homes to play for the first time in many days. The family in this story has three children ages three, five, and seven. They’ve been waiting to get out into the pool and beg their mom to let them go. Mom has house work and laundry to do, but she doesn’t have the heart to tell the kids no. The kids head straight for the pool, avoiding sun screen and lifejackets. Mom finds a comfortable chair under the tree and sits back to catch up with her book. The 5- and 7-year-olds are good swimmers with several summers of swimming lessons. The 3-year-old is playing contentedly on the steps with her water bucket and toys. Suddenly mom hears her cell phone ring and realizes that she’s left it on the counter in the kitchen. Mom looks at the kids and decides that it’s safe to make a dash inside for the phone. In a split second, life will change for this family. It only takes a second for a child who cannot swim to slip beneath the water and drown. Sadly, police and sheriff’s departments across the Valley are all too familiar with this call for help. Water safety awareness should be a daily practice for families. It takes little time and only small amounts of water for a small child to drown. With a few simple steps, water activities can remain safe and fun for everyone to enjoy. Facts about water-related deaths: • The majority of death and injuries in pools and spas involve children ages 1-2, and occur in residential settings. • Drowning is the leading cause of unintentional death to children ages 1-4. • Drowning occurs when there is a short lapse in adult supervision. • Little children drown quickly and silently. Young children are not the only people at risk of becoming a drowning victim. If your summer plans take you near the water, safety precautions should be observed. First, if you are spending time near the water, learn how to swim. Second, if you witness someone struggling in the water or drowning, reach for the person or throw a flotation device to the subject, never enter the water in an attempt to rescue. Finally, water and alcohol don’t mix. Be responsible with your alcohol intake while near water. Visit www.PoolSafely.gov for more information about water and pool safety.

RAISE MAGAZINE | JUNE 2012

CAMPS

Hume Lake Christian Camp

Summer CAMPS

Hume, CA 93628 559.305.7770 humelake.org facebook.com/humeministries

Age: Meadow Ranch, Junior High; Ponderosa, High School; When: Meadow Ranch, August 12-18 (previous weeks waitlisted); Ponderosa, August 12-18 (previous weeks waitlisted) Price: $495/camper Meadow Ranch is a phenomenal place for junior high students to get away from the everyday distractions and into the quietness the Meadow has to offer and learn more about who God is. From outdoor activities, energetic recreation, silly skits and suspenseful night games, to exceptional speakers, inspiring dramas and impactful worship, your time at Hume will make you want to come back for more! Ponderosa the flagship camp at Hume Lake for high school students. When you come to Pondy, you will hear the gospel preached, be challenged through scripture, engage in sweet worship through music and get some time alone and with your church to process what God did in your life up here at camp. Hume Lake takes pride in its high energy recreation allowing kids to be kids. That includes things like playing in the mud, running the gauntlet, doing the bike jump, and dominating in Kajabe Kan Kan. If you allow it, a week at Ponderosa can and will change your life forever.

Riverway Ranch Camp

Sanger, CA 93657 559.787.2551 riverwayranchcamp.com facebook.com/RiverWayRanchCamp Age: 7-16 When: 2-week session, July 29-August 11; 1-week sessions begin starting July 29 Price: $2,995-$3,295/2-week; $1,595/1-week Memories and friendships await at River Way Ranch Camp, one of Californiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s premier residential summer camps for ages 7-16. A family tradition since 1967, generations of families have been coming to the scenic foothills of Sequoia/Kings Canyon National Parks to experience the summer of a lifetime. Campers are well supervised by a highly-trained staff as they participate in their choice of more than 65 activities offered. The caring and devoted counselors guide campers through new adventures as they learn new skills, meet new friends, and achieve each goal, one step at a time.

RAISE MAGAZINE | JUNE 2012

CAMPS

SCICON Summer Academy

Skylake Yosemite Camp

Age: Grades 6-8 When: June 17-22; June 24-29 Price: $345/student The SCICON Summer Academy is a combination of summer camp and academic experience. Each week-long session will allow students to particiate in outdoor recreational activities in the morning, and work on fun and engaging academic projects in the afternoon.

Age: Grades 2-10 When: 2- and 4-week sessions begin starting June 17 Price: $2,800/2-week; $5,000/4-week At Skylake, campers pick their own activities and set their own schedules each week which gives children the flexibility to do as they choose while also providing them with great diversity to learn new skills. Each night campers gather at Campfire Circle for nightly campfire…a storied Skylake tradition…with skits, camp songs and games.

Springville, CA 93265 559.539.2642 tcoe.org/SCICON/summeracademy

Activities: Archery Survival Skills Ropes Course

Moutain Biking Rock Climbing Nature Studies

Academics: Website Design Multimedia Presentations Video Game Programming

Arts & Crafts

Engineering (Robotics) Museum Wildlife Studies

YMCA Camp Sequoia Lake Miramonte, CA 1.877.55.YCAMP campsequoialake.org

Age: Pee Wee, grades 1-2; Youth, grades 3-8; Teens, grades 9-12 When: Pee Wee, June 24-27 and July 8-11; Youth, June 17-22, 24-29, July 1-6, 8-13; Teens, July 15-20, 22-27 Price: Pee Wee and Youth, $585; Teen, $615 Give your child the experience of a real camp that has been serving campers for 98 years. YMCA Camp Sequoia Lake Youth Camp is a truly one of a kind experience. Your child will make new friends while discovering their talents in every exciting activity Camp Sequoia Lake Youth Camp has to offer. Providing quality camping programs since 1914, YMCA Camp Sequoia Lake creates an environment that encourages heartfelt laughter, interactive learning and personal growth. Activities: Sailing High Ropes Course Mountain Biking Rock Climbing Archery Swimming Outpost Camping

Fishing Visit National Park Painting Crafts Soccer Basketball Campfires

Wishon, CA 93669 559.642.3720 skylake.com

Activities include: Swim Lessons Waterskiing Soccer Wakeboarding Baseball Tubing Horse Riding Canoeing Arts & Crafts Kayaking Guitar Lessons Paddleboarding

Archery Ropes Course Basketball Tennis Mountain Biking Backpacking

Jameson Ranch Camp

Glenville, CA 93226 661.536.8888 jamesonranchcamp.com facebook.com/jamesonranchcamp Age: 6-15 When: June 17-30; July 1-14; July 15-28; July 29-August 11 Price: $2,350 Jameson Ranch Camp’s (JRC) purpose is to guide children to have better lives through the pleasure of working and playing together. JRC provides a fun, healthy, wholesome, safe environment that is supporting the development of the total child. Campers will develop physically and mentally by gaining new skills in an outdoor environment that preserves natural resources. Emotional development happens through interactions with friends, and spiritual growth happens by being close to nature and our Creator. Campers can learn responsibility by caring for animals, the garden, the living quarters of the ranch and by being involved with ranch construction projects. Activities: Horses Drama Mountain Boards Rock climbing Waterfront

Mountain Biking Vaulting Small Animal Barn Ranch and Construction Archery

Riflery Crafts Swimming Backpacking

RAISE MAGAZINE | JUNE 2012

CALENDAR

june 2012 calendar of events 13 Earth, Moon and Sun Pe単a Planetarium

s 1

Friday Nite Rocks

Summer Night Lights

Earth, Moon and Sun

dates to remember

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Kids Vi-Tri

Father/Son Run & Plunge

CALENDAR

1 Friday Nite Rocks!

13 Earth, Moon and Sun 29 Summer Night Lights The program provides positive How do the earth, moon and sun work The Lifestyle Center has created a funprogramming and a safe environment for together as a system and what is the myth filled night (for kids ages 5-13) of rockwall youth of all ages, while aiming to curb and science behind it? Why does the sun climbing, games and interactive play violence and other negative activity by rise and set? Why do we see different with the new XerDance system. Wireless keeping selected parks and recreational constellations during different seasons? dance pads provide a fun and interactive facilities open on Friday nights. Learn about the moon’s phases and orbit. atmosphere! Space is limited to 20 When: Friday, June 29 Explore past and future space travel to our participants. Minimum of five Where: (Farmersville) Farmersville moon and beyond at Tulare County Office participants required. Community Center, 623 N. Avery, 6-10p; of Education’s Peña Planetarium. Pre-registration: $5 members, $15 non(Visalia) Boys & Girls Club, When: June 13, 2p and 3p members; Day of: $10 members, $20 mon215 W. Tulare Ave., 7-10p. Where: Peña Planetarium, members. Registration closes at 3:00pm on Contact: www.stepuptc.com 2500 W. Burrel Ave., Visalia day of the event. (Child must weigh at least Contact: 737-6334 30 pounds to climb the rockwall.) For this Imagine U Interactive Children’s and more summer youth programs, visit 16 Father/Son Fun Run & Plunge Museum www.thelifestylecenter.org. Imagine U offers a variety of weekly Come out to run and swim with your When: June 1 interactive exhibits, events and activities son and compete in contests like ugly tie, (First Friday of every month), 6-8p designed to entertain and engage your creative hat, matching outfit and fastest Where: The Lifestyle Center, preschool child. duo. Participants will receive a t-shirt, 5105 W. Cypress, Visalia When: Wed.-Fri., 10a-4p; Saturday, 12p-4p commemorative photo, snacks and pool Contact: 624-3400 Where: 700 E. Main Street, Visalia party after the race! Register at Anthony Contact: 733-5975 or www. Community Center. 9 Kids Vi-Tri imagineumuseum.org When: Jun. 16, 7a Packet Pick up/Day of Jumpstart your summer by joining the Registation; 8a Start Time; Pool Party until Kids Triathlon! Participants will swim at The Boys & Girls Club of The 10:30a Golden West High School pool, bike along Sequoias Where: Golden West High School the scenic St. John’s River Trail and run Offering children ages 6-18 development & St. John’s River Trail, on the track at the Groppetti Community and training in computer technology, life 1717 N. McAuliff St., Visalia Stadium. Family members can stay for skills, sports, art and music. Annual fee $15. Contact: Parks and Recreation, 713-4365 the post event swimming pool party with When: Monday-Friday, 2-6p music food and fun! Everyone receives a Where: Exeter, Farmersville and Porterville participation medal! Ages: 6-12. Divisions: 22 Summer Night Lights Contact: 592-2711 or www.bgcsequoias.org The program provides positive Beginner Level (50 yd. Swim, 1.2 mile bike, programming and a safe environment for ½ mile run). Sprint Level (100 yd. Swim, AgVentures at Heritage Complex youth of all ages, while aiming to curb 1.2 mile bike, 1 mile run). Fee: $35 per Agricultural Learning Center and violence and other negative activity by person until 5pm June 1/ $45 after June 1. Farm Equipment Museum with nearly keeping selected parks and recreational When: Jun. 9, 6:30a Transition Area opens; 7a 15 professionally designed interactive facilities open on Friday nights. Day of Registration opens; 8a Sprint Level displays. Children learn about science When: Friday, June 22 Start Time; 8:10a Beginner Level and technology, food and nutrition, Where: (Farmersville) Farmersville Start Time environmental issues, social studies Community Center, 623 N. Avery, 6-10p; Where: Golden West High School, and more! (Visalia) Manuel Hernandez Community 1717 N McAuliff St., Visalia When: Mon.-Fri., 9a-4p Center, 247 W. Ferguson Ave., 7-10p; Contact: www.liveandplayvisalia.com Where: International Agri Center, Contact: www.stepuptc.com 4450 S. Laspina St., Tulare Contact: Venue Phone, 688-1751

Assessment. Evaluation. Instruction. 2924 West Main Street Visalia, CA 93291 559.967.8635 JERI BURZIN, MED, BCET Bd Certified Educational Therapist

jeriburzin@clearwire.net

www.jblearningtools.com

RAISE MAGAZINE | JUNE 2012

FAMILY LAW

STAY OUT OF COURT

Family Law Litigation: Alternative Solutions Text by Joan A. Watters, Esq. Family Law Attorney

n a perfect world, children grow up living with both parents until they become adults and move on. In today’s world, however, it is more likely that children will grow up being required to move back and forth between their separated parents’ households. New relationships may introduce other children into the mix, with whom they must learn to share rooms, their things and most importantly, their mom or dad. It is not unusual for conflict to arise, setting up a potential revolving door at the courthouse, with each parent arguing for more or different custodial time, rules and restrictions. A judge is called upon to decide what is in the children’s best interests. Each parent will bring much to say about why the children should be spending more time with them over the other. After the judge decides, one parent might sense a “win” while the other might feel he/she was dealt a bad hand, blaming the judge, the system, and of course, the other parent. This sets up a future return to court to “set things straight.” Continuing conflict fractures families and strains communication; no one can agree on anything. It is not unusual for a parent to be unaware of various alternative

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dispute resolution options available that keep them (and children) out of court. For example, parents can consider private mediation, private arbitration, med/arb (you begin in mediation with an agreement to move to arbitration if mediation fails), collaborative law, or the appointment of a Special Master. What are these alternatives? Let’s start with mediation. Private mediation allows parties to select a mediator of their choice, whose job it is to assist them in reaching an agreement. There are several skilled and trained mediators available in Central California. Mediation is especially beneficial for parents who need to continue making joint decisions about their children well into the future after separation. The decision-making process learned in mediation can serve as a model for future communications. Also, mediated settlements have a consistently higher compliance rate because the father and mother have created their own agreement. Once an agreement is reached, it is enforceable and can be lodged for the judge’s approval and signature. The parties never need to step into the courtroom. Next month, I will provide information about arbitration and the alternative use of a hybrid we call “med/arb.”

RESOURCES City Information

important numbers at a glance:

• Tulare County website www.co.tulare.ca.us/default.asp • City of Visalia website www.ci.visalia.ca.us/default.asp • City of Tulare website www.ci.tulare.ca.us/ • City of Exeter website www.cityofexeter.com • City of Woodlake website www.cityofwoodlake.com • Visalia Parks & Recreation, (559) 713-4365

Other Important Numbers County & City

Fire & Police • Tulare County Fire Department, (559) 747-8233 • Visalia Fire Department, (559) 713-4266 • Tulare Fire Department, (559) 684-4300 • Exeter Fire Department, (559) 592-3714 • Woodlake Fire Department, (559) 564-2181 • Tulare County Sheriff’s Department, (559) 636-4625; (559) 733-6218 • Visalia Police Department (Non-Emergency), (559) 734-8116 • Visalia Police Department, Gang Suppression and Narcotics Unit, (anonymous tip hotline) 559-713-4737 • Tulare County - End Gang Hotline, (888) 363-4264 • Tulare Police Department, (559) 684-4238; (559) 686-3454 • Exeter Police Department, (559) 592-3103 • Woodlake Police Department, (559) 564-3325 • Kings & Tulare County California Highway Patrol, (559) 441-5400

Medical • Kaweah Delta Medical Center, (559) 624-2000 Emergency Room, (559) 624-2213 • Visalia Walk-In Medical Clinic, (559) 627-5555 • Tulare Regional Medical Center, (559) 688-0821 • Tulare County Health and Human Services Agency, (559) 624-8000

Education • Tulare County Library, (559) 713-2700; www.tularecountylibrary.org • Tulare County Office of Education, (559) 733-6300; www.tcoe.org/index.shtm • Visalia Unified School District, (559) 730-7300; www.vusd.org • Tulare City School District, (559) 685-7200; www.tcsdk8.org • Exeter Union School District, (559) 592-9421; www.exeter.k12.ca.us • Woodlake Public Schools, (559) 564-8081; www.woodlakepublicschools.org

Add your numbers below

• Tulare County Services - United Way, Dial 2-1-1, www.211ca.org • Delta Vector Control District, (559) 732-8606 www.deltavcd.com • Tulare & Kings Counties Suicide Prevention Task Force (Non-crisis), (559) 624-7471; www.sptf.org • Child Abuse Prevention Council, (559) 735-0456; www.tularecountycapc.org • Domestic Violence/ Shelters, (559) 732-5941; (559) 685-9515 www.fstc.net • Sexual Assault 24-hr Confidential Hotline, (559) 732-7273; www.fstc.net • Alcohol/ Drug Programs, (559) 733-6123 • Parenting Network, (559) 625-0384; www.parentingnetwork.org • Tulare-Kings Right To Life, (559) 732-5000; www.tkrl.org • The IRMA Network, (559) 732-5000; www.theirmanetwork.org • Latinos4Life, (559) 732-5000; www.latinos4life.org • Tulare County Animal Control, (559) 713-4957 • Visalia Animal Control, (559) 564-3346

Nationwide • American Association of Poison Control Centers, (800) 222-1222; www.aapcc.org • Center for Disease Control and Prevention, (800) 232-4636; www.cdc.gov • California Poison Control, (800) 222-1222; www.calpoison.org • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, (800) 273-8255; www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org • The Trevor Project (LGBTQ), (866) 488-7386; www.thetrevorproject.com • Child Abuse 24-hr Hotline, (800) 331-1585 • Missing Child Hotline, (800) 843-5678 • Road Conditions, (800) 427-7623

REMEMBER, WHEN IN DOUBT, DIAL

9-1-1

Add your numbers below

RAISE MAGAZINE | JUNE 2012

As part of the Community Education offerings, College of the Sequoias offers multiple kids programs during the summer months. Parents and children have the opportunity to choose between Kids College and multiple summer camps.

Dates (Monday - Thursday):

These programs will provide an educational and fun learning experience for children and teens, ages 5 to 13 (entering K - 8th grades). Kids College and summer camps are fee-based and not-for-credit. Scholarships and Financial Aid is not available for classes or camps.

Period 3 - 12:15 to 1:45

Session I—July 9 to July 12 Session II—July 16 to July 19 Session III—July 23 to July 26 Class Times:

Period 1 - 8:30 to 10:00 Period 2 - 10:15 to 11:45 Period 4 - 2:00 to 3:30 Prices (based on classes purchased during the same session):

One class: $75 per class - total $75 Two classes: $65 per class - total $130 Three classes: $60 per class - total $180 Four classes: $50 per class - total $200

Additional information can be found on our website,

www.cos.edu/communityed

Join our “Update List” to receive additional information on Kids College by sending an email to communityed@cos.edu . Be sure to add Kids College in the subject line.

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Listed below are just a few of the classes for this year’s Kids College program:

Jr. Robotics

Little Chefs

Robotics

Archery: Robin Hood Style

Exploring Numbers Visual Verbalization

Basketball Gone Crazy PowerPoint Razzle Dazzle