The Six Mandatory Listening Skills
Empathic Listening…. …is a skill that strengthens and reinforces all human relationships.
Here are the six commandments for listening empathically – it is one of the building blocks of success.
1. Body Language
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The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said -Peter Drucker
1
Body Language
Face your prospects, with uncrossed arms and legs, lean slightly forward – look attentive.
Maintain eye contact, nod affirmatively, and use appropriate facial expressions. Stay calm and relaxed at all times.
Observe the other person’s body language, facial expressions and gestures too.
2. Abhor Distractions
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You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time. -M. Scott Peck
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Abhor Distractions
Try and create a relaxed environment, not a stressful one. Choose quiet spaces instead of noisy cafes and crowded spaces. Switch off the phone and other irrelevant gadgets. Try to shut away passers-by, outside noise, etc.
3. Be Courteous
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One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say. -Bryant H. McGill
3
Be Courteous
Excessive enthusiasm about the subject and the longing to hear your own voice, makes you discourteous, if not rude. You cannot listen whilst talking; so allow the other person to speak. Give the speaker enough time. Not everyone is as good as you.
4. Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
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Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. -Stephen R. Covey
4
Seek First to Understand
Focus on words, ideas, body language, feelings and intent.
Avoid prejudice. Do not get caught up with so expressing your own viewpoint that you fail to listen to what the other person is saying. Respond only after you have fully understood.
5. Take Notes
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Speak in such a way that others love to listen to you. Listen in such a way that others love to speak to you. –Anonymous
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Take Notes
Do NOT interrupt. Listen to perceive, not to object; Listen to hear, not to respond.
Take notes, do not trust your memory. Do remember though that listening ability is impaired whilst writing. Take notes, also so that you do not forget the questions that arise in your mind.
6. Feedback
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Listen like every sentence matters; talk like every word counts. –Geoffrey Tumlin
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Feedback
Use feedback – constantly check your understanding of what you have heard. Ask questions, relevant ones. Be open and accept criticism, don’t argue. Do NOT impose your solutions or your advice, unless asked.
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Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk. -Doug Larson
Empathic Listening There is no such thing as an uninterested speaker, only an uninterested listener.
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