Features... An Independent local publication.
MISSION STATEMENT: The mission of Livingston Parent Journal is to share worthwhile information with area parents by listing family-oriented events, educational opportunities for parents, and by providing feature articles and tips on topics relevant to raising children of all ages.
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Missing Heroes
FEBRUARY 2013 — EDITOR/ PUBLISHER —
When PaciďŹ ers Won’t Pacify
Rick & Terri McGarry
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—WRITERS— Roshen Kaderali, RN, CMN, CLE Matt Langdon Jeremy Novak, Phd. Todd Patkin Josh Young — CONTRIBUTING ORGANIZATIONS — Bradley Hospital — GRAPHIC DESIGN/LAYOUT —
Mindy Simon
Wallpapering With Kids
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The Livingston Parent Journal does not necessarily endorse the views of the authors or the products of the advertisers.
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Medical and health advice is not intended to replace the care of a physician. Member of
The Happy Habit Childhood Anxiety
0/ "OX s &OWLERVILLE -) INFO LIVINGSTONPARENTJOURNAL COM WWW ,IVINGSTON0ARENT*OURNAL COM ,IVINGSTON0ARENT*OURNAL 7ORDPRESS COM
866.806.1680 Š December 2012 All rights reserved.
In every issue... Off The Wall ..................................................................... 8 Things To Do in Livingston County..............................11-14
ClassiďŹ eds ....................................................................... 22
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Camp Fair The Second Annual Livingston County Camp Fair will take place on Saturday February 23 from 10am – 2pm. Our location for this year will be The Commons, located at 7526 W. Grand River in Brighton. I am sure many of you have driven by and noticed that the Brighton Tennis club, right across from Woodland Health Center, has been extensively renovated and is reopening. We believe this is going to be a great place for a Camp Fair, and it will be, as long as you all are able to attend.
Last year representatives from over 30 local camps were there to meet parents, answer questions, and provide information about their facilities and programs. Our intention is to provide every family with a suitable summer camp option, regardless of their budget or schedule. Watch for more information on our Facebook, our web site, and in our weekly newsletter, This Weekend in Livingston County. This event is going to be fun for the whole family, so be sure to mark your calendar. We are looking forward to meeting so many of you face to face.
In the meantime, we are already starting to post summer camp listings on our web site, LivingstonParentJournal.com, in preparation for publishing our annual camp guide next month, after the dust has settled from the camp fair. One of the reasons we publish a camp fair and organize a camp fair is because we have faith that no matter how it looks outside right now, summer will eventually come once again to Michigan.
February Happy Birthdays! 1 Joey Siciliano Lucas Burge Madison Huff 3 Vincent Valenti 4 Gabriella Tybina Tyler Hebel Kelsey Lynn Fisco 5 Shyann Bell Ashlyn Blain 6 Belle Sixbery Felicia Gerendt-Pomnitz
8 Abigail Landers Kayla Rae Thomas 11 Nikki Siciliano 13 Matthew Nickerson Claire Prewitt 16 Brendan Couch 18 Megan Grech Mikayla Massey Emery Loraine Rauch 19 Brenden Harman Katie Gerrity
20 Bryce Arnold 23 Matthew Walton 26 Kayla Rose Fisco 27 Alaina Garner Breanna Thomas-Mcgrorty Brooke Thomas-Mcgrorty Mackenzie Moe 28 Eric Henry Anderson
We are always looking for more sponsors for the Birthday Club. Email rick@livingstonparentjournal.com or call 866.806.1680 for details.
Kids! Join our Birthday Club and we’ll send you a special treat and let everyone know it’s your special day! Send your child’s date of birth to birhtdays@livingstonparentjournal.com
Homemade Chocolate 129 E. Grand River. Fowlerville 517.223.1322
Howell Big Boy 10006 Highland Rd. Hartland 2222 E. Grand River. Howell 810.632.6932 517.548.1800
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ALL TRAILS LEAD TO ADVENTURE
YMCA CAMP NISSOKONE 6836 F-41, Oscoda, MI 48750 P 248 887 4533 F 248 887 5203
YMCA CAMP OHIYESA 48442 7300 Hickory Ridge Rd, Holly, MI P 248 887 4533 F 248 887 5203
Upcoming Family Fun Days Attend Family Fun Days to tour camp, meet the staff, try camp activities. Registration available for both Ohiyesa and Nissokone available on-site.
» Sunday March 24, 1-4 pm at Camp Ohiyesa, Holly » Sunday April 21, 1-4 pm at Camp Ohiyesa, Holly » Saturday April 27, 1-4 pm at Camp Ohiyesa, Holly » Saturday May 18, 11 am-3 pm at Camp Ohiyesa, Holly » Saturday May 18, 12-3 pm at Camp Nissokone » Saturday June 8, 12-3 pm at Camp Nissokone
learn more at miymcacamps.org Everyone is welcome. Financial assistance is available. The YMCA of Metropolitan Detroit strengthens communities in Southeastern Michigan through youth development, healthy living and social responsibility.
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DOES YOUR BABY HAVE COLIC? How to tell If you wonder whether or not you have a colicky baby – you don’t. The agonizing outbursts of inconsolable crying leave no doubt that your baby hurts. While no one knows the cause, or even the exact definition of colic, pediatricians tag an apparently healthy, thriving infant with “colic” if the baby follows what is called the “Rule of Threes.”
When Pacifiers Won’t Pacify Entering into the world of motherhood means accepting the responsibility of caring and providing for a new life. As if changing one end and burping the other end wasn’t enough, some new mothers are additionally stressed because they are unable to calm the cries of their fussy colicky babies. Over 50% of babies and parents struggle with the challenge of colic. As a nurse, I learned about colic but it wasn’t until I had my own three kids that I really understood what it meant. My first born was very gassy. My second child, another boy, was always very bloated and it just felt like he couldn’t digest well. My last child, a baby girl, wasn’t gassy, but she would go through hours of crying and fussiness. In all three cases it was not until I successfully treated them for colic using Gripe Water, a traditional remedy that I brought from Britain, that peace returned to our home. When it worked, I felt like supermom, and I found I could at last enjoy the nights now that my squirming fussy babies were calm. Of course all my kids eventually grew out of their colic phase, but they still use the Gripe Water for any upset tummy problems, which makes me smile. If you have a baby who’s consistently fussy due to symptoms of gas and colic, angst and feelings of helplessness
can be overwhelming for both mom and baby. Luckily, there are ways to aid and comfort your baby through this painful time, like massage and stretching. It’s also important to learn and practice coping skills for dealing with a fussy, irritable baby over long stretches of time. Here are a few tips to keep in mind: 1. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. A crying baby doesn’t mean that you’re a bad parent—it could be due to gas, colic, reflux or teething. Remember to relax, stay calm, and know the time will pass. 2. Make sleep a priority. Your baby will need time to develop a consistent sleep pattern, so your eight hours of solid sleep per night just went out the door. When your baby dozes off, so should you. 3. Take some time for yourself. Let the other parent, a relative, or a babysitter take your baby while you go visit friends, see a movie, or hit the gym. Accept any help that is offered to you and make the most of it. 4. If you are breastfeeding, eliminating certain foods from your diet may help. 5. Almost all colicky babies lose their symptoms at about the age of four months, so there is an end in sight. Symptoms typically peak at four to six weeks of age.
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Why does it stop? In one study of fifty colicky babies, the evening colic disappeared by four months in all the infants. What’s magic about four months? Around that time, babies develop more internal organization of their sleeping patterns. Other exciting developmental changes also lead babies to the promised land of fuss-free living: They can see clearly across the room. Babies are so delighted by the visual attractions that they forget to fuss. Next, they can play with their hands and engage in self-soothing finger sucking. Babies can enjoy more freedom to wave their limbs free-style and blow off steam. Also, after the first several months, a baby’s intestine is more mature and milk allergies may subside. Or, by this time the cause has been found or comforting techniques perfected. askdrsears.com
Roshan Kaderali, RN, CNM, CLE is the Founder of Mommy’s Bliss®. She also enjoys teaching knitting through after-school programs, going to the symphony and travelling around the world. www.mommysbliss.com
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Are you looking for something... Engaging? Small? Where your student can excel? Kensington Woods High School offers students in grades 7-12 a small, personalized learning environment where they have the support to engage in their environment, explore content in an engaging and innovative way and excel in school. Kensington Woods offers: . . . . . .
Small class sizes College-prep curriculum with high expectations Accessible, supportive faculty Safe and orderly environment Character education AP classes & college dual enrollment opportunities
. . . . .
Project-based learning Advanced art and foreign language classes Extracurriculars and athletics No hassle transfer system Fully accredited, state funded & tuition-free
Now enrolling 7-12th grades To schedule a personal tour or for more information, call 517.545.0828 or visit www.kwoods.org.
www.kwoods.org . 517.545.0828 . On the Campus of Cleary University . 3700 Cleary Drive, Howell
Spring Break Day Camp Wild West Adventure!
April 1 - 5, 2013 Ages 5-8th Grade Deadline to register is March 25, 2013 or when spaces are full. The fee for this event is $160 per camper. $25 off additional sibling. Drop-off each day is 8:00 a.m. and pick-up is 5:00 p.m. Lunch, morning, and afternoon snacks are provided. For details on camp activities or to register please visit us on facebook or go to:
www.campcopneconic.org
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Jennya Hammack Have you ever had to text a client and ask them to send you a new check because your 2 year old ate the last one? Neither did I... Until today
Laura Cronenwett Webber Bo: Mama, I think that we should get a pool in our back yard and then we can have a seal live in it Mama: Hmm, that sounds really cool, you should ask your Daddy about that! Bo: I asked Daddy if I could have a pet seal yesterday and he said to ask you. Karin Carlisle Harrison While talking to my boys about the state constitution, Ryan replies, “Can we stop talking about the constitution? I know what that is. It is when you can’t poop.”.
Dawn Deedee Ayla wanted a fork with her lunch, so I gave her one of hers. Well she just turned four, so she said, “Ummm... I’m not a baby.” So I quickly retorted, “I know. This is actually a preschooler fork, I just let you have it when you were little because I thought you were really smart.” “Oh, I see,” she said, taking the fork.
David Dummitt You know that moment where the police show up because your 6 year old called 911 just to see how it works
Angie Baynai Tyrpak What a great Saturday, with all of us in PJ’s until mid-afternoon, then Chris and the other man of the house headed to the woods. My sweet little girl made a list of things we needed to do while they were gone: 1. Play dolls 2. Snuggle and tell stories 3. Play dress up 4. Have a snack and girl time 5. Go to Target and get new crayons 6. Walk her “pup” (toy) 7. Paint mom’s nails (and she did a pretty good job!) That was the best “to-do” list in a LONG time! :)
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In 2007, Wesley Autrey jumped onto the tracks, laying on top of a victim to protect him from the train. His story spread widely and was seen by (among millions ÂœvĂŠ ÂœĂŒÂ…iĂ€ĂƒÂŽĂŠ >ĂŠ ˆV…ˆ}>Â˜ĂŠ “>Â˜ĂŠ ˜>“i`ĂŠ Â…>`ĂŠ Lindsey. In 2009, Lindsey was confronted by an inebriated man on the tracks and a crowd of bystanders. He thought of Autrey and jumped onto the tracks, saving the man’s life.
-ISSING (EROES At the end of last year, much of the country saw an extreme example of the truth of this statement “the opposite of a hero is not a villain, it’s a bystanderâ€?. On December 3rd last year, a man died because a hero failed to emerge from a crowd of bystanders on a iĂœĂŠ9ÂœĂ€ÂŽĂŠ ÂˆĂŒĂžĂŠĂƒĂ•LĂœ>ÞʍÂ?>ĂŒvÂœĂ€Â“Â° Later in the week, a similar scene played out differently. Once again, a crowd on the platform stood watching someone on the tracks in the path of an oncoming train. This time, two heroes stepped up and saved a man’s life. Both of them were motivated by thoughts of the death on December 3rd. “Not again,â€? said one of them in her head. She wasn’t going to allow another death. Bystanders exist in every crisis, large or small. Yet the media (and commenters online) appear to be shocked by their existence every time. Not only do we know it happens, we know why it happens. Ever since Kitty Genovese’s murder, nearly forty years ago, the bystander effect has been studied vigorously. The main takeaway of that research is that the larger the crowd, the less likely anyone is to act. Think about that for a minute. If you’re in need of help, it’s better to have three people around you than thirty.
Why? Some just don’t notice what’s going on. We retreat into ourselves when in crowds. When we do notice, there are a host of other barriers to action. Some worry they might get hurt. Some think someone more qualiďŹ ed or skilled or closer will help. A more primal paralysis to action can come when the person in need is from another “tribeâ€?. We are simply compelled to avoid risk when it comes to helping those our brains consider different. In spite of these barriers, some bystanders do turn into heroes. In fact, most of us, when hearing stories of bystander behavior, completely convince ourselves that we would have acted differently. Despite decades of research that shows the majority do nothing, most of us think we don’t need training. Heroism, however, can be both taught and learned. Not only can we empower our kids and insure the next generation has more heroes than bystanders, we can learn along with them. One of the best ways to inspire ourselves to be heroic is simply sharing stories. As we saw last week, the much publicized story of missing heroes on Monday prompted heroism on Thursday. Equally, stories of heroism can promote further heroism.
Sharing subway rescue stories is not recommended for all age groups. As with all storytelling, consider your audience. Moreover, it is safe to say that choosing positive stories is preferable to those where heroism was absent. Share true stories. Share imaginary stories. Tell big stories and small stories. Find them in the paper and in the classroom. Look for them in books and on ďŹ lm. They all count. If you’re a parent, a librarian, a
4HE OPPOSITE OF A HERO IS NOT A VILLAIN IT¤S A BYSTANDER teacher, a relative, or a friend, share stories of heroism with kids. You never know when they’ll be in a position to help someone in need. You never know when they will have a chance to be a hero. - Matt Langdon is the founder of The Hero Construction Company, a program that teaches kids to be heroes in schools. He also built The Gallery of Heroes (thegalleryofheroes.com) online so people can easily ďŹ nd hero stories to share.
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; Things To Do In Livingston County ; Snow Shoe Stampede Rental snow shoes are available but must be requested when you register. Participants receive a special momento. Wildwood Ranch Registration at 8:30am; 1/2 mile at 10am; 5 & 10K at 10:30am;. Lunch, bonfire, & s’mores will begin at 11:00am. 1/2 i]Êf£äÆÊxÊEÊ£ä ]ÊfÓäÆÊà ÜÊà iÊÀi Ì> ]Êf£ÓÆÊ Õ V ]Ê fxÊnää° È °nä äÊwildwoodranch.org/stampede.htm
Tuesday 5
Basics of Ice Fishing Bring ice fishing rods and dress v ÀÊ Ì iÊ Üi>Ì iÀÊ ViÊ V ` Ì ÃÊ «iÀ ÌÌ }®°Ê ÀÊ >}iÃÊ ÈÊ and older. A fishing license is required for those 17 years vÊ >}iÊ ÀÊ `iÀ°Ê i à }Ì Ê £ {« Ê fxÊ nää°{ÇÇ°ÓÇxÇÊ
Mother/Son Dance Dancing, cookies, punch, and a à > Ê } vÌ°Ê ÀÞÃÌ> Ê >À`i ÃÊ È\Îä n\Îä« Ê fÓäÉV Õ« iÊ x£Ç°x{È°äÈ ÎÊhowellrecreation.org
metroparks.com
Embracing Humankind This interactive workshop has helped many educators and families find useful, usable, tools to embrace the diversity in their community. Maple Tree Montessori Academy 1-3pm FREE 810.225.8321 Valentine Car Holder Hands-on workshop for children ages 5-12. Free workshop apron, commemorative pin and certificate of achievement. Home Depot 9am-Noon 517.548.3742
Wednesday 6
Thursday 7 Daddy/Daughter Dance Dancing, cookies, punch, and >Ê Ã > Ê } vÌ°Ê ÀÞÃÌ> Ê >À`i ÃÊ È\Îä n\Îä« Ê fÓäÉV Õ« iÊ x£Ç°x{È°äÈ ÎÊhowellrecreation.org
Fri-Sun 8-10 Winter Mini Camp Favorite winter activities transformed into Olympic events for a weekend of friendly competition that includes a toboggan run, ice skating À ]Ê> `ÊVÀ ÃÃÊV Õ ÌÀÞÊà }°Ê > «Ê « iV VÊf£ÎäÊ n£ä°ÈÓ ° ÈÓÓ Winter Family Weekend Includes four hearty meals and a cozy, heated cabin with modern restrooms, crosscountry skiing, ice skating, snow tubing and ice fishing. À }Ê Ü>À Ê V Ì iÃÊ > `Ê Li`` }°Ê 9 Ê > «Ê Ãà iÊfÇÎÉ«iÀà ÊÓ{n°nnÇ°{xÎΰ
FEBRUARY List your event for free at LivingstonParentJournal.com
Friday 8 Daddy/Daughter Dance Girls of all ages are inviti`Ê Ì Ê V iÊ Ü Ì Ê >`]Ê À> `«>]Ê 1 V iÊ ÀÊ > ÞÊ Ã«iV > Ê man in their life for dancing, desserts and fun. SouthÜiÃÌÊ i i Ì>ÀÞÊ Ç « Ê fÓxÊ spartanmommy@sbcglobal.net ÇÎ{°{ÇÈ°n£È °Ê
Friday 1 Cats and the Fiddler Bluegrass music at the Acoustic
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Sat & Sun 2 & 3
Flick n’ Float Float on an inner tube while watching >Ê Û i°Ê `Ài Ê Õ `iÀÊ {n»Ê ÀÊ Þ Õ }iÀÊ Ì > Ê ÎÊ ÕÃÌÊ >ÛiÊ> Ê>`Õ ÌÊ ÊÌ iÊÜ>ÌiÀ°Ê `Ài ÊÕ `iÀÊ£{Ê ÕÃÌÊ >ÛiÊ > Ê>`Õ ÌÊ ÊÌ iÊLÕ ` }°Ê Üi Ê* ÊÇ\ää n\ÎäÊ« Êf{Ê x£Ç°x{È°äÈ ÎÊhowellrecreation.org
Ice Harvesting Watch demonstrations, and then help cut blocks of river ice using antique saws and a variety of equipment. Kensington 1-3pm 800.477.2757 metroparks
Saturday 2 Dave Boutette Folk singer/songwriter presented by 7 ÌiÊ-Ìii« iÊ-Ì>}i°Ê Õ ÌÞÊ }Ài}>Ì > Ê1 Ìi`Ê ÕÀV Ê vÊ À ÃÌÊÇ\Îä« Êf£äÊÇÎ{°nÇn°Î{£ Ê Groundhog Day Celebration Woody will make iÀÊ «Ài` VÌ Ê >ÌÊ n\£xÊ Ã >À«°Ê À>âÞÊ ÕÌwÌÊ V ÌiÃÌÊ v ÀÊ `ÃÊ > `Ê «> V> iÊ LÀi> v>ÃÌ°Ê Üi Ê >ÌÕÀiÊ i ÌiÀÊ x£Ç°x{È°äÓ{ Community ConnectÊ Û }ÃÌ Ê Õ ÌÞÊv> iÃÊ> `Ê individuals who are struggling to make ends meet can receive free haircuts, massage, legal consultation, information about local programs, clothes, health screen }ÃÊ> `Ê Õ V °Ê `V>ÀiÊ«À Û `i`°Ê > ÊÓ £ £Êv ÀÊ ÀiÊ information.
Car Entry Fee
Family Tae Kwon Do Tuesdays and Thursdays Ì À Õ} ÊÓÉÓnÊ ½ÃÊ/>iÊ Ü Ê ÊÈ\Îä Ç\ÎäÊ ÀÊÇ\Îä n\ÎäÊ fxÓÊx£Ç°x{È°äÈ ÎÊ howellrecreation.org
Sunday 3
Shepherd of the Lakes School Open House Games, VÀ>vÌÃ]Ê> `Ê>ÊV > ViÊÌ ÊÌ ÕÀÊÌ iÊÃV ÊvÀ ÊÈ Ç« °Ê7 `Ê Swan Theater presents Strega Nona and the Magic Pasta Pot at 7pm. Dessert and an opportunity to ask questions >L ÕÌÊÌ iÊÃV Ê>ÌÊn« °Ên£ä°ÓÓÇ°È{ÇÎÊsotlschool.com
Winter Marketplace Fresh eggs, meat, and bread, jewelry, fine art, photography, crafts, jams and jellies. The "«iÀ>Ê ÕÃiÊ£ä> Ó« Êx£Ç°x{ä°ääÈx Chickadee Chowdown In winter, a variety of songbirds will actually take sunflower seeds from your hands. Bird Ãii`ÊÜ ÊLiÊ«À Û `i`°Ê i à }Ì ÊÓ« ÊfÎÊnää°{ÇÇ°ÓÇxÇÊ metroparks.com
Cross-country Ski LessonsÊ >Ãà V ÃÌÀ `iÊà }]ÊÜ Ì Ê emphasis on how to best use your arms and legs, and «À «iÀÊ Ã }Ê « Ã Ì °Ê i à }Ì Ê £ä> Ê EÊ £« Ê f£{Ê 810.227.8910 metroparks.com
Reservations Required - please call aheadÛÝÛ¨ ©Û ¤~ ÛÝÛLivingston
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; Things To Do In Livingston County ; Winter Fun at Northfork FarmsÊÃiiÊ iLÀÕ>ÀÞÊ£È
Open Mic Poetry, comedy, singing, dancing, and other «iÀv À > ViÊ >ÀÌ°Ê i iÌÌÊ ,iVÀi>Ì Ê i ÌiÀÊ Ç « Ê fÓÊ x£Ç°x{È°äÈ ÎÊhowellrecreation.org
Scribble Monster brings their unique blending of traditional children’s music, improvisational comedy and power pop so children sing, dance and play > }°Ê À } Ì Ê i ÌiÀÊv ÀÊÌ iÊ*iÀv À }Ê ÀÌÃÊÓ« Êf£äÊ 810.299.4130 brightonperformingarts.com.
Rusty & Laurie Wright Acoustic Blues music at Ì iÊ V ÕÃÌ VÊ >vj°Ê Üi Ê "«iÀ>Ê ÕÃiÊ fÇÊ Ç« Ê x£Ç°x{ä°ääÈx
Monster Jam®, featuring Grave Digger® Lowe’s Õ `Ê > `Ê À ÜÊ VÊ ->ÌÕÀ`>ÞÊ £ä> Ê -Õ `>ÞÊ Ó« Ê 517.548.3475 lowesbuildandgrow.com
Sunday 24 Cairn to CairnÊ V iVÌ VÊ i Ì VÉ Ê Õà VÊ>ÌÊÌ iÊ V ÕÃÌ VÊ >vj°Ê Üi Ê"«iÀ>Ê ÕÃiÊfÇÊÇ« Êx£Ç°x{ä°ääÈx Winter Fun at Northfork Farms Heated petting zoo with animal feed, pony or horse ride, popcorn and cocoa and train ride, weather permitting. Northfork Outback -Ì>L iÃÊÓ {« Êf£äÊx£Ç°nn£° £{ÓÊnorthforkoutback.com
Saturday 16 Saturday 9
The Potter’s Field Folk Music presented by White Steeple Stage. see February 2
Mother/Son Valentine Dance. Music and dancing, candy guessing jars, door prizes, sweet treats, healthy à >V ÃÊ > `Ê «Õ V °Ê -VÀ> Ì Ê `` iÊ -V °Ê fÓäÊ «iÀÊ couple 810.299.4131
Daddy-Daughter Dance Valentine’s Day-themed barn dance. A square dance caller will walk you through the L>à VÃ°Ê i à }Ì Ê Ç« Ê fnÊ nää°{ÇÇ°ÓÇxÇÊ
Basics of Ice Fishing see February 2 Birds of PreyÊ Üi Ê >ÌÕÀiÊ i ÌiÀÊ Ü Ê LÀ }Ê ÛiÊ hawks, owls, falcons, vultures and a bald eagle. HudÃ Ê ÃÊ iÌÀ «>À Ê ££> Ê fxÊ ÇÎ{°{ÓÈ°nÓ££Ê metroparks.com
Sunday 10 Chickadee Chowdown see February 3 Cross-country Ski Lessons see February 3 Runway Repurposed Fashion Show Runway showcase begins at 2:00, featuring talent from designers of all >}iÃ°Ê i>ÀÞÊ1 ÛiÀà ÌÞÊhowelloperahouse.com
Monday 11 Stamp CollectingÊ ÕV Ê ÀV iÀÌÊÜ Êà >ÀiÊ ÃÊ Ü edge and provide a beginning stamp album and packet of stamps. Bring your stamp collection if you have one. >ÀÌ > `Ê LÀ>ÀÞÊÈ\Îä« Ên£ä°ÈÎÓ°xÓääÊ cromaine.org
Thursday 14 Intro To Karate for Kids Tuesdays and Thursdays Ì À Õ} Ê >ÀV Ê £ÓÊ " > >Ê >À>ÌiÊ È\Îä Ç\ää« Ê f£xäÊ x£Ç°x{È°äÈ ÎÊhowellrecreation.org
Friday 15 Swing Dance Refreshments included. Hartland High Ç\ää £ä\Îä« Êf£äÊn£ä°ÈÓÈ°ÓÓ £°Ê
Livingston Players Junior Theater Workshop Learn About stage presence, stage direction, voice projection, L `ÞÊ Ûi i ÌÊ > `Ê v>V > Ê iÝ«ÀiÃÃ Ã°Ê }iÃÊ £ä³Ê Ê i ÌiÀÊÓ {« ÊfÓÊlivplayers.org
Thursday 28 Bring Your Own Tools and Tech Tear things apart. Put them back together. Build simple robots. Hartland LÀ>ÀÞÊÈ\Îä« Ên£ä°ÈÎÓ°xÓääÊ,,Êcromaine.org
MARCH March 2
metroparks.com
Red Tail Ring Folk Music presented by White Steeple Stage. see February 2
Piped Piper of Hamelin performed by artists from the Michigan Opera Theater. Recommended for K-5. Howell "«iÀ>Ê ÕÃiÊ££> ÊfÇÊx£Ç°x{ä°ääÈxÊhowelloperahouse.com
March 3
Winter Fun at Northfork Farms Heated petting zoo with animal feed, pony or horse ride, popcorn and cocoa and train ride, weather permitting. Northfork Outback -Ì>L iÃÊÓ {« Êf£äÊx£Ç°nn£° £{ÓÊnorthforkoutback.com
Mission, Art & Music Festival Juried art exhibit and Guatemalan handcrafted items. Mix and mingle with artists 10-11am. Free soup luncheon at noon. Brunhilde ->ÕÀÊ >ÕÀÊ 7 À à «Ê £ Ϋ °Ê ViÀÌÊ vÀ Ê Î {« °Ê £ÃÌÊ *ÀiÃLÞÌiÀ > Ê ÕÀV Ê vÊ À } Ì Ên£ä° ÓÎ°È {ä
Sunday 17 Indoor Triathlon Swim, bike, and run for 20 minutes i>V °Ê }iÃÊ ÇÊ > `Ê `iÀÊ Üi Ê µÕ>Ì VÊ i ÌiÀÊ > Ê x£Ç°x{È°äÈ ÎÊ howellrecreation.org Winter Marketplace see February 3
Friday 22 Jeff Doyle, Storyteller and Humorist at the Acoustic
>vj°Ê Üi Ê"«iÀ>Ê ÕÃiÊfÇÊÇ« Êx£Ç°x{ä°ääÈx
Sat & Sun 23 & 24 Journey to the Sugar Bush Travel back in time and experience how maple syrup has been made over the years and enjoy a pancake and sausage breakfast. Õ`Ã Ê ÃÊ iÌÀ «>À Ê £ä> ]Ê ££> Ê EÊ Ê fn°xäÊ ÇÎ{°{ÓÈ°nÓ££Ê metroparks.com
Saturday 23 Polar Plunge Fund raiser for Special Olympics. Brighton High School 2pm 989.774.3911 rachk1am@cmich.edu
~ ÛÝÛLivingston Parent JournalÝÛ¨ ©Û ¤~ ÛÝÛ
Car Entry Fee
Reservations Required - please call ahead
Celebrating Michigan’s Great Outdoors
Novi, Michigan–Detroit Market
SESAME STREET THEMED BIRTHDAY PARTIES!
Outdoorama.com
Celebrate a birthday at Sloan Museum. Book now for a birthday party February 16 – May 27, 2013, and you could have Elmo attend! Limited Dates Available. Call 810.237.3427 or visit SloanLongway.org. for more details.
FEB 21-24
Don’t miss MUCC’s Big Buck Night - Thursday! Plus more features: Kid’s Shooting Ranges, Rock Climbing Wall, Trout Pond, Utimate Air Dogs and much more!
Sloan Museum – 1221 E. Kearsley Street, Flint, MI 48503 * 810.237.3427 * SloanLongway.org
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Sign up to win a Deer Hunt for 2 from Ohio Trophy Buck OutďŹ tters!
Now’s the time to book that trip!
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Novi, Michigan–Detroit Market
FEBRUARY 21-24, 2013
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Present this coupon at the Box OfďŹ ce and get $2 Off 1 Regular Weekday Adult Admission. Coupon valid Thursday and Friday only. Not good with any other coupon.
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THURSDAY 2 pm – 9:30 pm FRIDAY 2 pm – 9:30 pm SATURDAY* 10 am – 9 pm SUNDAY* 10 am – 5 pm *Coupon not valid Sat. & Sun.
At Sylvan, our highly personalized approach builds the skills, habits and attitudes your child needs to succeed in school and in life. . % *!&% ) # ( !% )+''# $ %* # + *!&% . ( !* - &(* %*( # ))& ! *!&% . % !,! + # %)*(+ *!&% &( ( * (&+ * ( . (*! ! * () . )" +) &+* -#, % -%
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Sylvan Learning of Lansing 10407 E. Grand River, Brighton, MI 48116
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Outdoorama.com
Success in school, and in life.
LPJ
(810) 227-1800 www.SylvanBrighton.com
READING, MATH, WRITING, STUDY SKILLS, TEST PREP, COLLEGE PREP AND MORE!
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WORTH THE DRIVE
Out Of The County
February 9
February 21-24
Owl Prowl Campfire The program takes place outside and includes an optional guided walk through the woods to look for owls. 7 « Ê >ÀÀ ÃÊ >ÌÕÀiÊ i ÌiÀÊ Ê" i ÃÊfÇÉv> ÞÊ x£Ç°Î{ °ÎnÈÈÊharriscenter@sbcglobal.net.
Cottage and Lakefront Living Show Exhibits include log, timber frame and cedar homes, cottage rental, cottage furnishings, lakefront homebuilders and realtors, lakeshore maintenance, boats and docks and outdoor recreation> Ê iµÕ « i Ì°Ê -ÕLÕÀL> Ê iVÌ Ê - Ü« >ViÊ Thur & Fri 2:00-9:30pm Sat 10:00am-9:00pm -Õ Ê £ä\ää> x\ää« Ê f£äÊ nää°ÎÓn°Èxxä Û ÌÌ>}i- Ü°V see ad on page 23
February 14-16 Jack and the Beanstalk This lively rendition of this classic tale presents a humorous giant and is appropriate for young audiences. Towsley Auditorium Thur and Fri 10am & 1pm, Sat 11am 734.995.0530 wildswantheater.org
February 16-May 26 Sesame Street: The Body featuring Elmo, Oscar, Grover, and other Sesame Street characters. This new interactive exhibition teaches children how their bodies work and how to keep them healthy as they hop, jump, run, and dance Sloan Museum 810.237.3450. sloanlongway.org see ad on page 13
February 21-24 Outdoorama hunting, fishing, boating, canoeing, hiking, mushroom hunting, bird watching, Big Buck Night, Wildlife Encounters and the /À ÕÌÊ * `Ê Ê -ÕLÕÀL> Ê iVÌ Ê - Ü« >ViÊ Thur & Fri 2:00-9:30pm Sat 10:00am-9:00pm -Õ Ê£ä\ää> x\ää« Êf£äÊ outdoorama.com see ad on page 13 More event information at LivingstonParentJournal.com
Pictured left: Outdoorama, Feb. 21-24, below: Jack and the Beanstalk, Feb. 14-16.
~ ÛÝÛLivingston Parent JournalÝÛ¨ ©Û ¤~ ÛÝÛooo Canaf_klgfGYj]flAgmjfYd [geÛ
The Secret to Better Grades! Are you frustrated with the grades your child is getting in school? Dear Fellow Parents, Many children earn grades in school that are well below their potential. I am Sam Larioza and owner of the local karate school. Our school’s foundation is developing children (and adults) to their full potential in karate, school, work and life. Many of our parents are surprised to see significant improvements in their child’s performance in school.This improvement does not happen by chance. You can use the same tools and tricks to get your child on the honor roll! Make sure your child has a “Vision”: Much of academic performance has to do with motivation. It is pretty hard to be motivated to do anything if you do not have a goal you are striving for. When you ask an average student what they want to be when they grow up, many have no idea. When you ask a “Straight A” student the same question they will tell you that they want to be President of the U.S., an astronaut, doctor and professional football player all at the same time! Get your kids to dream and dream BIG! Never let them stop dreaming. Expect more from your children: You set the standard. You will get what you expect. Expect all “A’s”! We reward academic performance with praise, high five’s, patches and stars. We expect every student to get straight “A’s”. If you have low expectations you will get that or worse. Teach you child to hate being “average” and how easy it is not to be average: Being extraordinary does not require you to be 5 times smarter then the other guy. The difference between average and extraordinary is usually just doing things ½ a percent better and with only slightly more effort! The amazing thing is that most people settle for average! There is no competition at the top.
Show your child that it is easy to get an “A” or “B”: Ask any teacher. If your child just does these two things she is almost assured of an “A” or “B”. 1.) Turn in all homework assignments, and 2.) Do all redo’s and extra credits. Simple! Easy! Make sure your child knows his grades: Awareness. This one used to surprise me but not any more. When I ask an average student what her grades are she typically has no clue. When I ask an “A” student the same question they not only know their grades but they can also tell the exact classes they are getting “B’s” in. Not only that, they know their current grades and what it will take to get an “A” . Just ask and ask often. Reward and recognize performance and effort: When your child gets good grades make a BIG deal out of it! All kids want is your praise, approval and love. Early on make sure that you reward effort over results. You will develop a child that always strives to do their very best. I hope this helps. If I can be of any help please contact me at (517) 586-1001 or visit our website at www.ohanakarate.com. Yours for Rock Solid Kids,
Sam Larioza Sam Larioza For more information go to www.ohanakarate.com P.S. – See our website www.ohanakarate.com for details on our “Quick Start” Back to School program. P.P.S. – Beginner classes starting. Free official karate uniform to first 12 callers to mention this ad.
Brighton Montessori Year-round Montessori Education, Summer Enrichment & Childcare U Specializing in Montessori Education for 2.5 to 6 year old children including Kindergarten U Multi-aged classes meet Monday through Friday U Before & After School childcare available
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A
fter dealing with feelings of anxiety and depression throughout my life—despite achieving outward success, wealth, and respect—I suffered a devastating breakdown at the age of thirty-six. Looking back, I can trace many of the factors that led to my breakdown back to the issues I struggled with as a child, including perfectionism, separation anxiety, and feeling inadequate. Now, please don’t get me wrong. I’m certainly not saying that my parents failed in their duties. The problem lies chiefly with our culture’s priorities and traditions, which are based on the incorrect assumption that things like more success, more accomplishments, and more money are the main ingredients of happiness. That’s why I think it’s so important for parents to redefine what’s really important in life, and to make sure they’re helping their kids develop healthy habits. Read on for eight suggestions on how to raise kids who will grow up to be happy adults: Show your kids what happiness looks like. # - ) 1" . ." 3 - /- )#(! (). 1" . 1 . && ." ' .) ) 3)/ &#0 , ( .# -., -- /& ( /(" **3 &# " ( - , !)) ." . 3)/, %# 1#&& !,)1 /* .) ) ." - ' " ( #. )' - .) #(-.#&&#(! " **#( -" #.- ." ')-. #'*),. (. ."#(! 3)/ ( ) #- ') & ." " 0#),- ( ..#./ - 3)/ 1 (. ." ' .) )*. ) # 3)/ & ." . 3)/, )1( *,#),#.# , )/. ) 1" % ." . 3)/, )*#(! ' " (#-'- , /(" &."3 ), ." . 3)/, )/.&))% )/& /- #'*,)0#(! ) 1" . 3)/ ( .) ) #( ), , .) ' % ." ( -- ,3 $/-.' (.- -/, 3)/8, ') &#(! && ) ." " 0#),- 8' )/. .) - ,# Teach your kids to love themselves. " ( ." 3 *& 0 &/ )( ." '- &0 - (). /- ) ." !, - ." 3 ' % ), ." ,# ( - ." 3 " 0 /. -#'*&3 /- ) 1") ." 3 , ." 38&& 0 &)* * - . - (- ) )( # ( " ." ' .) ) /- )( && ) ." /(#+/ *)-#.#0 - * .- ) ." '- &0 - #(-. ) 1 &&#(! )( 1" . ." 3 ( #'*,)0 ( 1" . ." 380 )( 1,)(! ( &1 3- &1 3- & . ." ' %()1 ." 3 , &)0 /( )( # .#)( &&3 ) ' (3 "#& , ( &# 0 ." . ." 3 , )(&3 - !)) - ." #, !, - ." #, #&#.3 .) (. ,. #( )." ,- ), 1") ." #, ,# ( - , "#(! ." ' ." . ." 3 " 0 #(.,#(-# 0 &/ -. ,.- . ")' 1#." 3)/ Help them to let go of the obsession with perfectionism.
)(-# , ."#- " ( 3)/, "#& )' - ")' 1#." )/, !, . !, - ( )( ." .8(). -) !)) ), 2 '*& )/, - ( )( ) 3)/ ) /- )( ")1 !, . ." , , #- 3)/, #,-. , -*)(- 6 " . " ** ( "3 # 3)/ ! . ." #( ."# )/,- 7 3 & , .#(! ." - 3)/8, -.#&& & ..#(! 3)/, "#& %()1 ." . .)* ' ,% , ." !) & /. 3)/8, )#(! #. #( '/ " " &."# , 1 3 ." ( 3 #'' # . &3 -")1#(! #- **)#(.' (. )0 , ." )( !, ." . 1 - & %#(! ( # " 8- .#(! "#'- & /* )0 , ." , *),. , , --/, "#' ." . #.8- )% 3 - &)(! - " # "# -. Teach your kids to play to their strengths. .8- () - , . ." . 1 , , #-#(! )/, "#& , ( #( 0 ,3 )'* .#.#0 1),& (3 %# - ( ' (3 * , (.- & )'*/&-#)( .) !)) . 0 ,3."#(! "#(% )/. #. 3)/, "#& 2 &- #( )( -/ $ . #- 0 , ! . ')-. /. $/-. (8. - ' .) !, -* )( ")1 #- " , ")' 1),% ( -./ 3 .#' &&).. " ( - , -" -* ( - ." ')-. .#' .,3#(! .) #'*,)0 #( ." -/ $ . -" 8- . ( 0). - ." & -. .#' .) ." -/ $ . ." . )' - ( ./, &&3 .) " , ,) & ' #- -" 8&& *,) &3 ( 0 , " , 1 % -/ $ . /. ."#(% )/. 1" . -"#(#(! -. , -" )/& # -" # . " , -. ),.- .)1 , 1" . -" 1 - !)) . " . ")& - .,/ (). $/-. ), " , '# , , /. ), " , *,) --#)( & )( - 1 &&
The Happy Habit Raise your kids to be helpers. #. )1( ( . &% 1#." 3)/, %# - )/. 1" . #. ' (- .) !#0 % ( 1"3 #.8- #' *),. (. ( #- /-- && ." 1 3- .) ) #. % -/, ." 3 /( ,-. ( ." . !#0#(! % ) -(8. $/-. ' ( )( .#(! ')( 3 ( ." . ! ( ,)-#.3 #- (). &#'#. .) !#0 #(! 1 3 ."#(!- 3)/ () &)(! , 1 (. " ( ' % &#-. ) *,)$ .- ." . 3)/, %# , #(. , -. #( * ,.# #* .#(! #( 3 ." 38 &#% .) " &* )/. 1#." )) ,#0 ), % - & ), * ," *- ." 38 , ." , 0)&/(. , . &) & (#' & -" &. , ), (/,-#(! ")' 0 )(0 ,- .#)(- 1#." ." ' .",)/!")/. ." *,) -- " &*#(! ." ' .) . * #(.) ")1 *"#& (.",)*3 ' % - ." ' & ( 1") ." 38, " &*#(! Give your kids the gift of gratitude. " , , -) ' (3 ."#(!- 3)/ ( ) .) #(-.#&& !, .#./ #( 3)/, %# - , &&3 # ( .# 3#(! ( ( '#(! 3)/, & --#(!- - '#&3 #- )( ( ' %#(! ." (% 3)/ , 1,#.#(! 6,/& 7 . , #,." 3- ( ")&# 3- #- ()." , ()." , '), -/ .& ' .") #- .) (3 3)/, %# - 0 ,3 )( #( 1"#& )/,- 8' (). 0) .#(! )'*,)'#-#(! ." #, 1 && #(! /. ." .,/." #- ." 3 )(8. ( 0 ,3 .)3 ." 3 -% ), ). ! ..#(! 1" . ." 3 1 (. 1" ( ." 3 1 (. #. 0 ,3 .#' 1#&& " &* ." ' .) 0 &/ 1" . ." 3 ) " 0 ( #. 1#&& *,). . ! #(-. (.#.& ' (. %#(! 3)/, %# "#* #( .) * 3 ), 1" . ." 3 1 (. 1" ." , #.8- 1#." ')( 3 ), 3 )#(! "), - 1#&& " 0 ." - ' . Make happiness a priority for your family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
Help your kids develop the power of perspective. ,)' ()1 )( 1" ( 3)/, "#& #- 1#." *,) & ' ), #- **)#(.' (. -#. )1( 1#." "#' ( ' % &#-. ) && ) ." ."#(!- " #- !)) . ( ." ( *)#(. )/. ")1 )( '#-. % #- ,)* #( ." / % . '# -. && ) "#- )." , -/ -- - * ." &#-. " ( 3 .) */&& )/. - , '#( , #( ." /./, ' ' , 1" ( 3)/, "#& #- & .) *. #&/, ')0 ),1 , ( % * *)-#.#0 )/.&))% ." ( " 1#&& " 0 0 &)* ,/ # & -%#&& ), "#- /&. &#
)(8. ) /- -) '/ " )( ."#(!- &#% -.)**#(! ."/' -/ %#(! ( /-#(! !)) ' ( ( ,- ." . 3)/ ),! . .) '*" -#4 " #.- ." . /&.#0 . , & " **#( -- ( 0 ,3 , & 1 3 ." ..#./ - ( )/.&))%- 3)/ #(-.#&& #( 3)/, "#& , ( .) 3 1#&& #'* . ." , -. ) ." #, &#0 -5 ), !)) ), #&&
Todd Patkin, author of Finding Happiness: One Man’s Quest to Beat Depression and Anxiety and—Finally—Let the Sunshine In, graduated from Tufts University, joined the family business and spent the next eighteen years helping it to grow. After it was purchased by Advance Auto Parts in 2005, he was free to focus on his main passions: philanthropy and giving back to the community, spending time with family and friends, and helping more people learn how to be happy. www.findinghappinessthebook.com
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ooo Canaf_klgfGYj]flAgmjfYd [geÛÝÛ¨ ©Û ¤~ ÛÝÛLivingston Parent JournalÛÝÛ17
Fun And Easy Redecorating Redecorating is a fun, easy way to change up the look of your kids’ room. Wallpaper is one of several ways to kick the color and style up a notch. When it’s time to make over a new baby’s nursery, kid’s bedroom, or playroom; wallpaper is a fun, bright, easy solution. Wallpaper can add a splash of color on just one wall, create a border or even just a headboard in your kids’ rooms. New patterns and colors are always being created, so it’s not that hard to find a fun, interesting and unique pattern that you and your kid can both enjoy. Kids like color and they really like to become involved in anything that will affect their surroundings, so involving them in the process of choosing the color and design is almost always a good idea. 1 iÃÃÊ iÞÊ ÃÊ ÌÊ> Ê ÃÃÕiÊv ÀÊÞ Õ]Ê ÌÊ ÃÊ> à Ê>Ê} `Ê `i>ÊÌ ÊÃiÌÊ your budget before you start to shop, and communicate the budget to your child. Know what you want to spend and stick to it. Regardless of your budget, kids’ rooms don’t have to be tacky, cordoned off areas that no one with aesthetic sensibilities can tolerate. They can actually be part of the home and representative of ̽ÃÊ ÛiÀ> Ê`jV À°Ê >ÀivÕ ÞÊV Ãi ÊÃÌÞ Ã ÊÜ> «>«iÀÊà ÕÌ ÃÊÜ Ê mature with kids as they grow. The right wallpaper will enliven your kid’s room and express their interests, but with sophisticated colors parents would use in other areas of the home as well. The } > Ê ÃÊÌ ÊÃÞ Ì ià âiÊÌ iÊ`jV ÀÊ ÊÞ ÕÀÊV `½ÃÊLi`À ÊÜ Ì ÊÌ iÊ rest of the home, while still inspiring a sense of wonder and creativity that will not go out of style in 20 minutes. Kids and parents can work together shopping online to choose à iÌ }Ê Ì iÞÊ L Ì Ê i°Ê «> ÞÊ ÜiLÊ Ã ÌiÃÊ >ÛiÊ vÕ Ê i «vÕ Ê features like downloadable brochures, interactive color selection, > `ÊÛ `i Ê ÀÊà `iÊ«ÀiÃi Ì>Ì Ã°Ê ÌÊfÈäÊ>ÊÀ Ê> Þ iÊV> ÊVÀi>ÌiÊ >ÊÜ iÊ iÜÊ Êv ÀÊ>ÊÀ Êv ÀÊÕ `iÀÊf£ää°Ê ÕÃÌ âiÊ>Ê i>` L >À`Ê >À Õ `Ê fÈä nä®Ê ÀÊ ÌÀ> Ãv À Ê >Ê Ü> Ê vÊ >Ê À Ê fÓxä®Ê Ì Ê create a new, creative, edgy spaces in which you and your children can both relax and have fun together. Solutions like these mesh style and affordability. Some companies, like Detroit Wallpaper, even offer DIY designer wallpaper that is eco-friendly, unique, customizable and affordable. The Detroit Wallpaper Company offers products that are printed on eco-friendly ink, using paper that is 10% post consumer waste and the remaining pulp product is FSC certified. Their paper is printed, shipped and packaged in Detroit. You can check out their designs at detroitwallpaper.com Josh Young is Co-Founder of The Detroit Wallpaper Company, and a fixture in Detroit’s blossoming creative community. He spends his free time attending local concerts and traveling. He studied psychology at the University of Michigan, and currently lives in downtown Detroit. detroitwallpaper.com/collections/sprout.html
~ ÛÝÛLivingston Parent JournalÝÛ¨ ©Û ¤~ ÛÝÛooo Canaf_klgfGYj]flAgmjfYd [geÛ
2nd Annual
The The
LPJ
Livingston Parent Journal
Summer Camp Fair
As much for you as it is for them.
Saturday, February 23rd. 10 a.m. – 2 p.m. at The
Commons. 7526 W. Grand River, Brighton.
You are invited to join us for free at our second annual Summer Camp Fair. Meet with local camp representatives who will be on hand to answer all your questions in regards to what camp will be best for your child.
Don’t miss this opportunity to help provide your child with memories that will last a lifetime and give you a much needed rest during your child’s summer break. Call 866.806.1680 or email: rick@livingstonparentjournal.com for more information.
ooo Canaf_klgfGYj]flAgmjfYd [geÛÝÛ¨ ©Û ¤~ ÛÝÛLivingston Parent JournalÛÝÛ19
The Basics of Childhood Anxiety tious state in which an individual gets “stuckâ€? thinking about possible negative outcomes in a given situation. Moreover, this constant state of worry can create a propensity for believing there is danger present, when in fact there is no danger. Consequently a person can develop disproportionately anxious and worrisome thoughts. For example, they may become focused on “shouldsâ€?, “what ifsâ€? or associated concepts, which become difďŹ cult to stop thinking about.
Childhood is supposed to be a carefree time, when the only concern ought to be how long it will be until the next enjoyable experience. For many children, however, carefree time is being reduced and replaced with increasing worries and concerns. Today’s children are exhibiting more anxiety symptoms than previous generations, including stomachaches, headaches, trouble falling asleep, poor concentration, clinginess to caregivers, nightmares, sadness, emotional outbursts, and refusal to attend school. In fact, anxiety is one of the primary mental health problems facing young people today. All children have fears, such as being afraid of the dark and thunderstorms, but when does a common or developmentally appropriate worry/fear become problematic enough to seek professional help? To answer this question, it is necessary to understand childhood anxiety and its signs and symptoms. Anxiety can take many forms but it is basically the fear that something bad is going to happen. This fear is present in all children, teenagers and adults. Fear is not necessarily bad; in fact, fear can alert us to potentially harmful situations. Although fear can be a protective factor, too much fear can create a highly cau-
It is important to understand that anxiety can have different faces. Some children and adolescents can appear visibly distressed while others worry in silence. Some may appear frequently angry and/ or frustrated. Those children who are not obvious in their anxious presentation (e.g., outwardly expressing worries) are at greater risk of going unnoticed. To parents, teachers and friends, anxious children may look ďŹ ne much of the time. Anxious kids tend to be conscientious, responsible, and careful how they handle a situation. They are perceived as competent, model children or students; very well mannered and perhaps straight “Aâ€? students. This presentation can cause these children to go unnoticed because their symptoms are generally not disruptive to others. Underneath this façade of collectedness, children struggling with an anxiety disorder can feel scared, alone, embarrassed, ashamed, weird, or out of place from others. These children may have fewer friends as a result of social anxieties or worries about being away from parents. They may spend too much time preparing for upcoming events, focusing on perfectionism, and getting reassurance against perceived dangers. Worries may cause them to avoid fun activities, such as sports, parties, sleepovers or other outings. They may spend too much time trying to manage their thoughts and feelings at the expense of enjoying good times. It can be difďŹ cult for adults to recognize children who are suffering from anxiety.
Below is a list of red ags that may suggest a child is struggling with anxiety: Physical symptoms or complaints that frequently prohibit the child from going to school or participating in social activities (e.g., headaches, stomachaches, etc.).
s 3LEEP DIFlCULTIES INCLUDING FALLING ASLEEP STAYING ASLEEP AND NIGHTMARES s !NTICIPATING EVENTS AND OR PROBLEMS AND WORRYING ABOUT THEM HOURS DAYS OR WEEKS AHEAD OF TIME s 0ERFECTIONISM AND OR EXCESSIVE SELF CRITICISM s #ONCERNS ABOUT UPSETTING ANGERING OR DISAPPOINTING OTHERS s 3HYNESS NERVOUSNESS AND LACKING CONlDENCE s %XTRAORDINARY AVOIDANCE OF CERTAIN SITUATIONS s (AVING TO SPEND EXCESSIVE TIME CONSOLING AND REASSURING THE CHILD Although this list is not comprehensive, it provides a good basis for determining whether a child has a problem with anxiety or related difďŹ culty. Although the red ags above are to some extent common to all, an anxious child will persistently engage in these behaviors to the point that it interferes with their social and/or academic functioning. A child’s behaviors can be frustrating, illogical and even embarrassing. The seriousness of anxiety is often downplayed by
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society at large. “Don’t worry, be happy” and “Lighten up” are common examples of discounting anxious feelings in others. Unfortunately, for children struggling with an anxiety disorder, it’s not that easy. When adults do not see things the way anxious children do, they tend to become impatient and judgmental. They may unwittingly overlook a child’s fears and worries. Parents and teachers who have or work with anxious children struggle to understand how and why it is happening and how to resolve the problem. There are some important strategies adults can use to help children manage worries and fears. First, it is important to try to remain calm and rational. If adults become nervous or angry about a child’s thoughts or behaviors, it may exacerbate worries and fears. Second, don’t discount the fear. As trivial as the worry might appear, discounting their worries does not make the worry go away. If the child feels it is real, it will influence them. Third, talk to your child about what is bothering them. Helping children give words to their worries and fears helps empower them and gives them a sense of control. Expressing interest in what worries them provides a sense of security and helps them feel less alone. Lastly, assist the child in developing coping strategies. Help the child practice positive, rather than negative thinking, such as, “This might be scary, but I can do this”. Additionally, helping a child develop relaxation strategies may reduce worry and fear. Encourage the child to focus on regulated and deep breathing (e.g., place a toy on their stomach and control how fast in moves up and down) or encourage them to visualize a fun and relaxing place, such as a vacation spot. Although childhood anxiety may seem overwhelming, it can be managed and controlled so that it has little or no ongoing influence on the child. With the help of a psychologist, it is important to identify the intensity of symptoms, how long the problem has persisted, and how to aid the child in learning ways to man-
age their anxiety. Everyone must learn to live with a certain amount of anxiety but we do not have to endure excessive anxiety. Fortunately, anxiety disorders are highly treatable. Treatment can involve child-centered approaches including: cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), exposure therapy, anxiety management, and relaxation training. Also, parent training is recommended to teach parents how to help their child address concerns and causes. Depending on the severity of the anxiety, medication may be another option, and can be combined with therapy to provide an effective treatment for these problems. Jeremy Novak Ph.D. is a Licensed Psychologist in Brighton. He specializes in services for children and adolescents, and offers treatment to adults, couples, and families. 810.225.1670 www.metropsychonline.com
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