Soo Yul Kim EAP 159 Narrative Essay April 05, 2010
My Regrets Have you ever made a mistake that changed your life? In the 1970s, the school system in Korea was elementary school for six years, middle school for three years, and high school for three years. Then we took entrance examinations for universities that lasted four years. I entered middle school and high school through a lottery system. This system had the effect of equalizing the quality of students from school to school. Many middle schools and high schools - consisted of students of the same gender. And the schools had strict rules such as uniforms, black shoes, short hair, and punishments, which depended on the severity of the infraction. Homeroom teachers usually controlled students with their authority. Although my middle school life was very satisfying, my high school life failed and ended with regrets. While I was in middle school in Korea, I was satisfied with my life. I was happy. My school supported a comfortable atmosphere for studying and kept basic essential rules students could agree with. On my first day, “Boys, Be Ambitious!” said my sweet English teacher and explained its meaning in Korean. Although I did not know the English alphabet, my English teacher opened with that sentence. Then she started to teach the alphabet – A, B, C… X, Y, and Z… a, b, c…x, y, and z. She excitedly guided us into the English world, starting with the alphabet. I was curious how to combine the letters with the alphabet to make words and sentences. I could follow her lectures smoothly without difficulty. Other teachers were also kind, enthusiastic, and respectable. I was pleased with teachers, who had varieties of characteristics and their own teaching techniques, in my three years in middle school. Moreover, my school consisted of boys and girls. It was very special compared to most schools. In my generation, boys and girls normally did not speak with each other much because everyone was
shy. Although we did not communicate verbally, I could still feel the atmosphere of what they were feeling, being Korean. I tried to look pretty in front of guys by being hygienic and combing my hair into two braids as best as I could. I studied hard at home because I did not want seem to be unintelligent. I had many female friends naturally because they had the same situation with me. Boys and girls seemed to live in separated worlds, but we were still together in the same school and same class. I enjoyed this fantastic adolescent age. After graduation, we scattered to different high schools, sadly, due to the new lottery system put in place. When I entered my new high school, the school struck me with disappointment. The high school had an extremely poor environment as the buildings were converted from an elementary school. For example, the bathrooms were extremely small for high school students because it was originally designed for kids. There were 720 people in one grade, which was twice as much as my middle school which had 360 people in one grade. On the other hand, the high school area was smaller than my middle school. There was only a small sized play ground, no gymnasium, and no cafeteria. Another problem was that the school had strong and strict rules about wearing uniforms, black shoes with white socks, having a short and straight haircut, and carrying extra white shoes for classroom. If we made a mistake, we had to receive punishments. In addition, they forced the students to clean their classroom, hall ways, stairs, shabby gardens, jammed faculty room, and foul honey-bucket-like bathrooms. However, I was used to being controlled by the government and Confucian ideas in Korea already. I had to survive the awful school reluctantly. I followed the rules and fulfilled my job as a student until the end of my first year in high school. Additionally, when I began my second year, I heard news that my biology teacher moved to another great high school though he did not complete his period of tenure. I fainted at the
news because of its injustice. Afterwards, I asked my biology teacher, who was the activity supervisor for the horticultural club that I was in last year, “Teacher, do you have a reason for leaving this school?” “Soo Yul, I am very sorry to quit here. I want to teach students and practice horticulture with a greenhouse. Here, there is nothing to do. Later, if you have time, come and see me anytime.” I could not stop my tears from trickling down my red and angry face. I knew that I had to stay at this school even though I did not choose this horrendous high school. Then I discovered that many other teachers had lack of passion, volition, and devotion. I especially loathed my math homeroom teacher who picked and taught rich students math lessons illegally. I felt frustrated with everything and went into a slump. Finally, in my last few years of high school, I started to skip lessons and boycott school. When I entered school, I was 7th in 720 students, which was amazing back in these days. Although my high school is regularly very strict, they made me an exception for me because they knew I had severe issues with the school and wanted to avoid further complications with me. The school knew that I could influence other students to think the same way as I did and cause them to make a rebellion. I was able to be late, be absent without reasons, leave school at any time, and skip classes without any punishments of any sort. Despite such privileges, my heart ached as I knew was making a huge mistake, and I grew sick from stress. I threw school away and the school threw me away. My friends envied me a lot because I seemed to be very comfortable with this lifestyle. One of my friends exclaimed, “You are so lucky, Soo Yul! Nobody bothers you! If only I could be like you then I would be able to get out of this horrible prison!” Around the end the my third school year, my homeroom teacher told me,
“Soo Yul, you can receive your high school diploma. Aren’t you so happy?” I said in reply, with regrets, “I’m not happy! I didn’t reach the requirements for the diploma! Why should I deserve it? Can’t I just stay in school for just one more year to make up my mistakes?” “No, you should go home and see your doctor first and get better to be healthier.” “No! This diploma has to be fake! I want a real diploma that I deserve! Please, just let me stay! I’ll be a better student next year so I can enter a good university!” Although the teacher could understand my feelings, he could not let me stay because the school decided to give me my diploma through an important meeting. Then, without my opinions recognized, the school sent me my diploma through mail even though I ignored going to the graduation ceremony. I looked at my high school diploma and felt guilt and sorrow. In conclusion, I regret boycotting my high school life and rejecting precious education with my immaturity. Therefore, with a lack of education, I am now here studying at TCC, Tacoma Community College, to make up for my past mistakes. I have set a new goal to study radiology despite the difficulty and old age.