What we’re into

Podcast Review

Diffability, a Dadsnet original podcast

“You are not alone in your journey”

Raising children with a DIFFABILITY is a Dadsnet original podcast, hosted by Paul and Michael Atwal-Brice who are the adoptive parents to two sets of identical twins, Levi and Lucas, and Lance and Lotan. The older boys, Levi and Lucas, both live with autism and epilepsy, as well as other complex needs, and over the years Paul and Michael have built up extensive experience in raising children with a Diffability. The aim of their podcast series is simple, to ensure that others on this journey know that, no matter how hard things are, you’re not alone.

The first season was launched in March 2022, with the second season following in February 2023. The episodes not only follow the lives of the Atwal-Brice family, but also include some brilliant guests as well as lots of useful hints and tips. What truly sets this podcast apart through is the sheer relatability and warmth of the two hosts, Paul and Michael, who are funny, engaging, and always down to earth. Definitely well worth a listen – and a follow!

Book Review

TENDER, The Imperfect Art of Caring by Penny Wincer, published by Coronet, (Hodder & Stoughton Ltd)

“Joy is available to us in so many surprising ways and sometimes a complete rethink about how we access it can allow us more than we imagined possible.”

Before becoming a carer, first to her own mother and now as a single parent to her autistic son, Penny Wincer graduated from the University of Melbourne with a degree in film and creative writing. Despite not writing for many years this book is truly that of a writer, simple, beautiful and powerful. Although we often don’t give much thought to what it means to care for someone else we are all likely to do so at some point, be that for your parent, a child or a partner. It is currently estimated that over 10 million people in the UK are caring for a loved one* and yet it is not an experience that is widely talked about, or planned for, and certainly not recognised for what it is. Caring can be hard, and in this beautiful book Penny combines her own personal experiences as a carer with the lived experiences of others. This serves to offer not only some very honest and real insights but also some useful tools for navigating situations that many of us are either facing or may well face in the future. We so often think we have a plan for our life, an idea of who we are, and what we want to do, or hope to do in the future, but becoming a carer to a loved one often forces us not only to change our plans, but to also reevaluate what matters. Life might not look the same, and it may well be edged with complicated shades of sorrow, fear, loneliness or regret but as the quote above describes so perfectly, if we can learn to embrace our complicated lives, to rethink what happiness and joy might look like, we can find new ways to thrive.

* Taken from the Carers UK research in 2022 which estimated that the number of unpaid carers could be as high as 10.6 millionCarers UK, Carers Week 2022 research report.

Film Review

An Irish Goodbye directed by Tom Berkeley and Ross White

This beautiful and heartwarming short film is currently available to watch on BBC iPlayer, and is scheduled to be available for the next 10 months. The film, which was written, produced and directed by Tom Berkeley and Ross White stars James Martin and Seamus O’Hara. It has won both an Oscar and a Bafta in the 2023 award season.

The story is set against the backdrop of a working farm in rural Northern Ireland, where Lorcan (Martin) lives and works with his mum until her death. His older brother, Turlough (O’Hara), having returned for the funeral, is also determined to carry out the plans made by the family to sell the farm, and to help Lorcan move across the country to live with his aunt who has agreed to care for him. Plans which were, we must assume, previously agreed. It would be overly simplistic to assume that this story is based on Lorcan having Down Syndrome, because although part of the storyline is based on him having a learning disability, the heart of the story focusses on the two brothers, and their grief. Lorcan is unhappy about the decisions that have been made about the support he will need after the death of his mum, but he also finds it hard living without her, and wants to remember her life before he is forced to leave his home, the home they shared together. The film is about how he mourns his mum’s passing, about how he convinces his brother to help celebrate her life in an unexpected way, and about how sharing these experiences reunites the brothers in their grief, but also in joy and in the possibility of an unexpected and shared new future. It’s such a lovely film, I watched it twice!

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