15 minute read
REAL LIFE STORIES
JOSEPHINE’S STORY
A story about everyone’s recovery path being different and finding what works for you.
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My name is Josephine. I’m 31 years old, with one healthy happy baby boy after a perfect pregnancy and labour, a loving husband who’s happy in his job and has lots of time to spend with us, living in a beautiful home in a lovely place. Perfect, right?
Not always. What pushed me over the edge was the two-hourly feeding regime.
“THE SLEEP DEPRIVATION TOOK IT’S TOLL QUICKLY.”
My son Benjamin grew slowly and started losing weight around 4.5 months. Doctors were uncertain of the cause and there seemed no solution or end in sight to the regular feedings. I felty like it must be my fault. Due to lack of sleep, I soon felt that I couldn’t give him the love, attention, happiness and outings that he deserved. I was rapidly going down a hole of self-destructive thoughts and sleepless nights.
All the while I reminded myself that I needed to ‘get over it’, toughen up and start realising how good I had it. There are mums out there who can’t breastfeed at all, or who had lost a baby, or who had struggled for years to have a child. And here I was, unhappy in my seemingly perfect life. Benjamin was always a happy baby and thrived in all other areas but weight.
I couldn’t make this baby thrive physically, I was too tired to be pleasant to him (or his Dad for that matter), I could not give him the love and cuddles he needed or play with him and take him out and about. I reached the conclusion that Benjamin, and his Dad, would be better off without me. The thought didn’t scare me, it felt right. It was on the money. Weeks went by of me living in a daze where I was forgetful, quickly overwhelmed, exhausted, alone, and generally feeling inadequate.
All I did was burst into tears. On explaining to her how I felt she prescribed anti-depressants and wrote out a referral to a psychiatrist. Having the doctor confirm that I was not in a good place and that I needed help to get out of this was a relief. I didn’t simply have to toughen up by myself and I wasn’t simply being weak.
That night I spoke to my husband about it, which I hadn’t done prior to this day. I didn’t want to be more of a burden on him by “whingeing” about how I wasn’t coping being a mother in a picture perfect life. Together we decided that I would tackle this without anti-depressants to start with. We agreed that I would try a month to get back on track without medication. This approach worked for me, but may not be appropriate for others. I now felt empowered to take on the challenge of overcoming this depression.
I wrote out a mental health plan that included five things:
• practice gratitude • exercise or at least a walk outside • meditation • speak to a positive person once a day (my husband, counsellor, mother’s group, two friends, my mum) • relax during nap time – I was only allowed to do one small chore and then something that wou • recharge me like meditate, read etc.
These five things really worked for me, but everyone’s recovery path is different so you need to find what works for you.
As soon as I felt I was allowed to show the people closest to me that I wasn’t coping I felt able to tackle this head on with their help. In the end, I felt disconnected with the world and our gorgeous baby for about seven months.
My biggest lesson has been to yell out earlier and be a little less harsh on myself.
Telling myself to toughen up in a time where I wasn’t coping made me feel even more like a failure while opening up actually made me feel stronger.
1 in 5 women experience a perinatal mental health problem during pregnancy or within the early postnatal years.
70% will hide or underplay their illness.
Did you Know Suicide is the leading cause of direct maternal death within a year of having a baby. 20% of women experience perinatal mental illness, but a survey by PMHP UK shows that many feel unable to seek treatment due to perceived stigma.
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3Fertility Recipes FOR MEN
Gazpacho
INGREDIENTS
1 red bell pepper 1 yellow bell pepper 1 green bell pepper 1 small poblano pepper 2 lbs. heirloom tomatoes, roughly chopped 1/2 small onion, roughly chopped 1 bunch scallions, roughly chopped 1 cucumber, peeled, seeded, and roughly chopped 2 garlic cloves, peeled 1 thick slice of country white bread, crust removed 1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil, plus 2 Tbsp 2 Thsp sherry vinegar ½ bunch parsley or cilantro Several dashes Tabasco Salt, to taste
METHOD
1. Preheat your grill to direct, high heat or heat coals until white and hot. Slice the tops off the peppers and scoop out the seeds. Toss the peppers in salt and the 2 Tbsp oil and grill, turning every few minutes, until all sides are blackened and blistered, about 10 minutes total. Set aside and allow to cool.
2. In a small bowl filled with ½ cup water, soak the bread. Rough chop the peppers and add to a blender or food processor along with the tomatoes, onion, scallion, cucumber, olive oil, sherry vinegar, and herbs. Squeeze the water out of the bread and add to the food processor or blender. Blend until smooth, season to taste with salt and Tabasco. Refrigerate for at least two hours before serving.
3. Spoon into chilled bowls and garnish with toasted croutons from the leftover bread, chilled crab or lobster, or diced avocado.
The lamb is packed with arginine and zinc, and the watermelon is rich in vitamin C, which is essential for proper sperm production and male fertility.
Sweetcorn Fritters with Smoked Salmon
The corn in this dish is high in arginine, which boosts sperm count and motility, while the salmon helps boost male fertility.
INGREDIENTS
1/4 cup olive oil 2 tbs red wine vinegar 2 stalks rosemary, sprigs removed, finely chopped 8 midloin lamb chops, trimmed 250g haloumi, cut into 1cm thick slices 1/4 cup mint leaves, torn 1 tbs baby capers 1 kg seedless watermelon, rind removed, cut into 3cm cubes 1 small red onion, finely chopped salt & pepper, to taste
METHOD
1. Combine 1 tbs of the oil, vinegar, rosemary in a jug. Lay chops into a ceramic dish and pour over marinade. Turn chops to coat well. Cover and set aside for 30 minutes.
2. Brush haloumi slices with olive oil. Heat a chargrill pan over medium-high heat. Cook haloumi for 2 minutes on each side or until golden. Transfer to a plate. Cool slightly and tear into pieces.
3. Combine remaining oil, mint, lemon juice and capers in a jug. Season with salt and pepper. Arrange watermelon, onion and haloumi in a large salad bowl. Drizzle over dressing. Cook chops on a preheated barbecue chargrill or frying pan for about 3 minutes on each side for medium rare or until cooked to your liking. Serve marinated lamb chops with watermelon, haloumi & mint salad.
INGREDIENTS
2 cups (approx 2 corn cobs) fresh corn kernels 3 spring onions (or 1 small red onion), roughly chopped 2 eggs small handful coriander (or parsley) leaves 150g self-raising flour pinch salt and pepper 1 zucchini, finely grated and squeezed to remove excess moisture light olive oil, for frying smoked salmon, to serve lemon wedges, to serve Avocado Salsa 1 avocado, stone removed, diced 1 tomato, finely diced 1 spring onion, finely chopped 2 tbs coriander leaves, chopped 1 tbs lemon juice pinch salt and pepper
METHOD
1. Place half the corn kernels, spring onion, eggs, coriander, flour, salt and pepper in a food processor and process for about 10-15 seconds until combined. Place in a large bowl.
2. Using your hands, squeeze the zucchini to remove any excess moisture. Add to the corn mixture along with the remaining corn kernels. Stir to combine.
3. Heat 1-2 tablespoons of the oil in a non-stick frying pan over a medium heat. Drop large spoonfuls of the mixture into the pan and cook for 2-3 minutes until golden on the underside. Turn and cook the other side until golden and cooked through. Repeat with remaining mixture, using more oil if needed.
4. Drain on paper towels and serve with the avocado salsa (lightly stir the ingredients together), smoked salmon and lemon.
Uk’s Biggest selling original bedside crib
NOW IN IT’S 8TH YEAR & 4TH GENERATION
SnüzPod 4th Generation The team at Snüz have been taking the time to honour its flagship product, the iconic SnüzPod Bedside Crib. After 8 years, the SnüzPod, which is now in its 4th generation, remains the UK’s bestselling and original bedside crib.
After 8 years, the SnüzPod, which is now in its 4th generation, remains the UK’s bestselling and original bedside crib, something which the sleep experts at Snüz are immensely proud of. Its signature product has been a comforting first bed for over a quarter of a million babies worldwide, keeping them close to their parents from day one. Bursting with style and innovative features, it has been recognised for an incredible array of awards. According to a survey in 2020, Snüz found that a staggering 7 in 10 parents lose an average of three hours’ sleep every night in their baby’s first year – the equivalent of missing out on 133 night’s worth of sleep before their baby turns 1! It is no wonder parents are sleep deprived and on the hunt for the very best products to support them in getting more ZZZ’s - enter SnüzPod⁴. Thanks to its innovative design, for six whole months, parents can feed, soothe, and be closer to their baby for a safe bonding experience. With dual-view mesh windows and a half-height zip-down wall for easy access, parents and carers can safely be by their side through every yawn, wiggle, gurgle and nap. RRP: £199.95 Stockist: www.snuz.co.uk
We Love
Pregnancy Fitness Safe Not? or
Safe
BARRE CLASS
“Barre classes are a wonderful, mostly low-impact form of exercise for elongating your muscles,” Pinto says. “I recommend against turns, jumps, and leaps after the first trimester due to your changing equilibrium and center of gravity, which makes a fall more likely, but slow-tempo exercises in the center and at the barre are perfectly safe. Even simple small jumps are okay when you are landing on both feet at the same time and you don’t need to change your center of gravity.” In other words, as long as you maintain your balance and stay close to the barre to grab onto and avoid falling, these classes can be a safe bet.
PILATES
Similar to yoga, Pilates elongates your muscles while you coordinate your breathing to your body’s movements. “Pilates is safe given that that you don’t overstretch or, if you’re using a reformer [specialized Pilates equipment], that you don’t increase the level of resistance beyond what you could comfortably do before you were pregnant,” Pinto says. Again, avoid lying on your back—you may need to ask your instructor for modifications.
SWIMMING
Hands-down, swimming wins the award for one of the safest exercises for pregnant women, experts say. “Swimming puts no pressure on your joints and ligaments, while the buoyancy of the water helps a pregnant woman not only exercise but also feel lighter while doing it,” Artal says. You can certainly get a great workout and torch tons of calories without any impact. That’s what makes this exercise one of the best bets for pregnant women. Also, look for classes in your area that combine, say, strength training and cardio in the water. Running and walking in the water are great, too.
YOGA
“The benefits of yoga are exceptional because it relaxes your mind and stretches your body,” Pinto says. It can be an excellent way for an expectant mom to clear her head and deal with any anxiety she might have about her pregnancy or getting ready for the new baby. However, it’s important to take some precautions. “Be mindful of the risk of overstretching in the second and third trimesters, when the hormone relaxin surges in your system to open your joints for childbirth, making strains more likely,” Pinto says. Of course, avoid inverted poses like headstands and also lying on your back, especially if doing so makes you dizzy. As your uterus grows, lying on your back can put extra pressure on the blood vessels that bring blood back to the heart, causing your blood pressure to drop, Artal explains.
SPINNING
“A spin class is a great option for a no-impact workout in a climatecontrolled space that you can do at various levels of intensity, depending on how your body is responding,” Pinto says. “You can engage in a high level of effort as long as you don’t experience any warning signs such as dizziness, a racing heart rate, or blurred vision.” However, you have to take several things into account, Artal says. For instance, make sure you don’t become overheated. “When your core temperature exceeds 102 or 103 degrees, that can lead to birth defects during the first eight to ten weeks and can also lead to premature labor throughout pregnancy,” he says. “Dehydration can also lead to premature labor.” The key is to stay hydrated, avoid overheating, and use a lot of common sense.
Not Safe
TRAMPOLINE
“While the cardio exertion of a trampoline workout is safe, the risk of a fall or stumble that sends you flying is something to seriously consider,” Pinto says. “Weigh your desire to do this kind of workout against the risk of a fall when your equilibrium and center of gravity are off balance due to pregnancy, and you’ll probably decide it’s not worth it.” Artal adds: “Every single jump up and down can end up in a fall and result in an injury. It’s such an unnecessary risk.”
HOT YOGA
While yoga can be an excellent option for pregnant women, hot yoga or Bikrham yoga is a definite no-no for now. Such yoga classes involve doing poses in a room heated to 100 degrees or higher. “Any activity that leads to overheating is not good during pregnancy,” Artal explains. “Exposing a fetus to high temperatures can cause a condition called hyperthermia which, in turn, can lead to birth defects and premature labor. Dehydration can also lead to premature labor.”
CONTACT SPORTS
“Contact sports carry a risk for injury not only to the mother but also to the fetus such as a premature separation of the placenta and other complications,” Artal says. “For instance, any boxing classes that involve actual contact with another person come with an unwarranted risk.” Same goes for other contact sports, such as basketball, soccer, and hockey. Skip them for now.
HEAVY-LIFTING CLASSES
Some classes focus on heavy lifting at a very fast pace and experts are very wary of such workouts. “During pregnancy, a woman’s joints and ligaments can relax considerably, and lifting very heavy weights can cause permanent damage to such joints and ligaments,” Artal says. There’s also higher odds of various risks to both you and your baby. If you still want to engage in such workouts, first run it by your doctor to see what she says. Then, work with the fitness instructor to tailor your workout based on your particular pregnancy (including how far along you are). Better yet, Pinto says, focus on weight training that uses your own body weight for resistance, not added weight.
HIGH-INTENSITY TRAINING
Some classes focus on keeping your heart rate elevated for as long as possible, which is definitely not safe during pregnancy. “Very high intensity workouts divert the blood flow from the internal organs, such as the uterus to the working muscles,” Artal says. “In effect, you are depriving your fetus of the proper exchange of oxygen and nutrients during these activities. Having your heart rate elevated for a few minutes at a time might be fine, but it’s certainly not okay for a full hour.”
