WHY WONT MY BABY SLEEP

Why

IS MY BABY WAKING IN THE NIGHT?

By Karen Miller of Asleep At Last Certified Baby & Toddler Sleep Consultant

As a sleep consultant, one of the most common issues I come across is babies who are waking multiple times a night and taking short naps during the day. Most people don’t realise how common this is and that the two issues are linked together. Typically these types of wakes happen once your baby passes the 4 month mark. No longer needing such regular feeds as when they were newborn, parents are left confused and frustrated at the intensity of the sleep deprivation they’re now dealing with. The scientific explanation for this is to do with sleep cycles, essentially your baby now wakes fully between these cycles of sleep which are 2 hours at night and 40 minutes during the day.

YOU’RE NOT ALONE

Babies sleep changes at 4 months and the newborn phase is well and truly over. They start to become more wakeful and that is why healthy sleep habits now become more important than ever before. Most people are baffled at how to resolve this issue, thinking this is just part of being a parent now and there isn’t much you can do but accept it.

This is not true and below are my top tips for how you can begin to teach your baby to sleep longer for naps and ultimately learn to sleep through the night, which by the way IS possible from 4 months of age!!

BABY IS OVERTIRED

This is a term that many mums are familiar with but most don’t know how to get on top of it. Your baby being overtired is a key reason why they end up fighting sleep even though they’re tired and then waking soon after you eventually get them to sleep. Confusing, I know.

If you only work on one thing with your baby let this be it. Each baby can stay awake for a set period of time before needing a nap. If you can put the baby down within this time frame, you’ll find they will settle much easier.

Tired signs are not reliable as often when babies rub their eyes they’re actually becoming overtired and some babies show no tired signs at all. Awake windows, as they are called, allow you to know when your baby will biologically be tired. This will also help them to get the day sleep they need for their age and be on an age appropriate schedule.

THE BABY DOESN’T HAVE A CONSISTENT NAP SCHEDULE & ISN’T GETTING THE DAY’S SLEEP THEY NEED.

Having a nap schedule for your baby does not mean you need to stay at home all day everyday. In fact most babies only need a short morning and third nap of less than an hour so having these on the go is possible.

Waking baby at a consistent time in the morning will help you to set the nap times. Waking them from the morning nap will also ensure they get what they need for the middle of the day nap, which is the most important of the day as it should ideally be 2-2.5 hours in length.

This then in turn allows you to set a consistent bedtime, which for babies 4-12 months actually needs to be around 6.30pm. Early bedtimes DO NOT mean early wake ups, it’s the opposite and allows the baby to have a better night sleep as well. Also means you get an entire evening to yourself - who doesn’t want that at the end of the day?

BABY NEEDS YOU TO FALL ASLEEP AT BEDTIME

However baby gets to sleep in the first place is what they will look for when they wake - same story for naps. If you use a dummy to get them to sleep, guess what they’re looking for 1-2 hours later on the wake up. Same with feeding to sleep, which also makes it harder to know if they’re genuinely hungry or just feeding from association to get back to sleep. Any form of rocking, holding, patting or motion is a form of assistance and will mean your baby cannot fully self-settle. To teach this you need to stop all assistance, either cold turkey or gradually it’s up to you and use a suitable settling method instead to get baby to sleep. This shouldn’t take longer than 1-2 weeks maximum and does mean leaving your baby to cry it out either.

BABY IS HAVING NIGHT FEEDS THEY DON’T NEED

This can be a tricky one, sometimes it’s difficult to know if your baby needs a feed or not. Generally my advice is, if the baby is of a healthy weight, thriving and tracking their line I would aim for 1 night feed from 4 months then ditch that by the time they’re 6 months.

If you’re feeding excessively in the night, baby doesn’t take as much during the day and you end up with something called reverse cycling so cutting those feeds is key to tanking them up more in the day.

You can reduce time at the breast every couple of days, reduce the amount in the bottle or go cold turkey and use a settling method to get them back to sleep when they wake.

Sleep isn’t easy, none of these things are taught to us, people don’t tell you about awake windows, nap schedules and sleep associations when you have a baby. Be kind to yourself, it takes time to figure this all out but you can!

Consistency is key, whatever you do, be consistent and you’ll see results. You don’t have to suffer and feel guilty for wanting things to change, it’s okay to feel like you need to sleep - WE ALL DO! Sleep is a biological need and not a luxury.

Motherhood is hard enough so make your life easier and teach your baby to sleep independently all night long. Avoiding overtiredness will also mean you have the best chance of your baby settling well and not being a tired grumpy mess all day. You will not regret it.

GLOW DREAMING

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Find out more:

www.asleepatlast.co.uk