Chapter Two - Memory

Chapter Two - Memory

2/8/2017

‘Tony’ I could write the whole script of the life of my dad, The instagramable dream life that he lives, Maybe just a little more extraordinary than an ordinary life. Time chew away the paint, And the wheels through motion and gravity. We fixed the sliding door of the kitchen together, Taking something apart and analyse its mechanism, Like how we built all the IKEA furniture 15 years ago. For the days I was home, He would go get the freshest produce every morning, Made three meals during the day, As he was making up all the time we lost. How many memoirs were documented by our taste buds?

5/8/2017

‘Home - Shenzhen’

It has been four years since my last visit, Faces, streets, smell, The stickiness on every surface from the humidity, All become familiar as it was yesterday. Concrete raised between trees Unrested mind and fast-moving paces, Neon lights dancing between the skyline, Before the last beam of sunlight squeeze through, Forming the city with endless possibilities. Eleven summers in this home, Filled up a chapter of my life, All the notes that try to fit in the harmony, Will all become what I am longing for. Vibrant colours in those millions of dreams, May those fast-spinning minds and paces, Each finds its own space to shine, And to rest.

6/8/2017

‘Home - Nanjing’ If I have lived for eighty-eight years, Doubt my memoir can win the match against fate in time, Again and again questioning, “Are you painting the goose?” Again and again I answered, “They are Yuānyāng (mandarin ducks in a pair), grandma.” Just like the annoying 6 year old kid, Refusing to be ‘reasonable’. Through a whole life of glory, Through war and peace, The kid is always inside us, Afterall.

27/3/2020

‘A Loyal Enemy’

What is keeping us going, Is partially curiosity, partially fear.

We met on the mountain tip, In the middle of the ocean, On the fast-speed train heading to another new place.

Sometimes in the crowd, Mostly just you and I, In absolute silence.

And here you are, Travelling the world from one end to another, Being the most loyal company. Through every excitement in the journey, Every new experiment, Every step forward.

Hey, old friend, As long as I have been looking for the ‘answer’, And ways to run away from you, You are the true motivation keeping me searching, Going, pushing, stretching, In all directions as I was always ready. You scary piece of shit, Haunting me all the time, Now I am looking at you close-up, Taking you on straight up, You are just the enemy that has been training me through rivery. I have learnt to look inwards after looking outwards, And now I rely on you always being on this journey with me. Befriend your enemy, they said. This is what it is to be alive, And to feel alive.

10/5/2020

‘Living and Experiencing’

When we observe how some people know how to manage their experiences - their insignificant, everyday experiences - so that they become an arable soil that bears fruit three times a year, while others - and how many there are! - are driven through surging waves of destiny, the most multifarious currents of the times and the nations, and yet always remain on top, bobbing like a cork, then we are in the end tempted to divide mankind into a minority (a minimality) of those who know how to make much of little, and a majority of those who know how to make little of much; indeed, one does encounter those inverted sorcerers who, instead of creating the world out of nothing, create nothingness out of the world. 13

It takes crisis after crisis, to toughen the spirit of a person, a family, a nation, to create a world out of nothing. Turning a blind eye on the crisis, does not mean it does not exist. Survival instinct forces us to face death and live towards death. We can then rise above the mundane, strive and be closer to who we truly are.

13 Friedrich Nietzsche, R J Hollingdale, and Richard Schacht, Nietzsche: “Human, All Too Human ” : “A Book for Free Spirits. ” (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1996), p. 198 (p. 198).