THE GIFT OF MOTHERHOOD

BY REBEKAH VALDERRAMA

IWROTE TWO MONTHS AGO about how hard it is for me to decide not to fast while I’m breastfeeding. This year I had an almostone-year-old who was eating plenty of solids, so the decision felt like it could go either way. As we approached Holy Week, I asked God for a sign whether or not I should fast on Good Friday.

Has anyone ever told you to be careful what you pray for? I got a positive pregnancy test right before Holy Week started. That definitely counted as a sign!

It also gave me plenty to meditate on during the Triduum. As Jesus spoke the words of institution, “This is my body, given for you,” I was able to say those same words to the brand-new life in my womb. My body, given for you, and I don’t even know you yet! But I’ll continue to give of my body and soul throughout your life, because that’s what motherhood is. It’s a unique way to enter into the sacramental mystery of the Eucharist: giving of yourself for your children.

It starts from the very beginning, with morning sickness through third trimester fatigue, where just getting up in the morning and eating a healthy meal is an act of selfless love for your child. If you can allow it to be a meditative gift, it can be a beautiful way to remember that Jesus offered up His own body for us and unite your self-gift to His.

If you’re in the breastfeeding stage of life, where you literally give of your body to nourish your child, try to pause every so often to marvel at the participation with His Eucharistic self that Jesus is inviting you into each time you feed your baby.

Eventually the sleepless exhaustion of the newborn phase gives way to the clingy bedtime struggles of early childhood. When you give up your own rest, or your spot on the bed, in order to comfort your child, offer up your frustration to the cross of Christ who is your comforter.

My household just spent two weeks with a bad flu. I was the one in the thick of it who got sick along with them. But my gift of self doesn’t stop when I’m not feeling well. I still had to pour out every ounce of energy I had left to take care of the little ones first. It’s felt in the little things too. Moms often have to give up some of their hobbies when they become too busy with childcare. The mundane things like foregoing fun expenses to pay for tuition are a self-sacrifice too.

In fact, a woman’s entire identity shifts when she becomes a mother. She might not feel it at first, as it comes on slowly, but eventually she’ll begin to see herself primarily in what she is and does for her children, rather than what she is and does for herself. Might this transformation itself be inherently Eucharistic?

The relationship of motherhood, I realize, is a very tangible, physical thing. As my baby fiddles with my hair while he’s nursing, I realize that I’m his whole world. And no matter how old a child gets, a tight hug from his or her mother is a powerful healing act. The emotional solace that a mother provides her children, pouring out from her own self into their very soul, lasts into adulthood.

If you’re still blessed to have her, give your mother a hug today. And as you pour yourself out for your own children today, thank Jesus for pouring himself out for his children in the Eucharistic sacrifice of the Mass.C