December 2020
Melissa's Brigade
Comforting Local Cancer Patients One Care Package at a Time
Cover photo by Benoit Cortet
An exclusive publication for the residents of Lawrence Township
Letter from the Publisher
Expert Contributors
What does it mean to be grateful?
Publisher: Rachel Donington rdonington@bestversionmedia.com
Medical Center RWJ University Hospital Hamilton
Lawn and Landscaping Cutting Edge Lawn and Landscaping, LLC
1 Hamilton Way, Hamilton, NJ 08690 609-586-7000 www.rwjbh.org/rwj-university-hospital-hamilton/
Nick Pirone - Owner 1652 Reed Road, Pennington, NJ I 609-356-3465 nick@ce.land I ce.land.com
Content Coordinator: Catherine Bialkowski cbialkowski@bestversionmedia.com Designer: Micalah Taylor Contributing Photographer: Benoit Cortet www.benoitcortet.com Phone: 917-597-6297 benoit@benoitcortet.com
Financial Advisor Knox Grove Financial LLC. Jodi Viaud, Partner & Advisor Bill Stolow, Medicare Specialist 2 Tree Farm Road, Suite B100, Pennington, NJ 08534 609-216-7440 www.knoxgrovefinancial.com I Info@knoxgrove.com
Home Remodeling Lawrenceville Home Improvement James Russo - Owner 2821 Brunswick Pike, Lawrenceville, NJ 0848 609-882-6709 lawrencevillehomeimp.com
To learn more about becoming an expert contributor, contact Lawrence Neighbors publisher: Rachel Donington: 609-462-6786 or at rdonington@bestversionmedia.com.
Campus shared with St. Lawrence Rehabilitation Center
MOVE-IN SPECIAL 1st month 30% discount 2nd month 20% discount 3rd month 10% discount
Waived community fee for St. Mary & Grace Gardens - a $2,500 value. **excluding Morris Hall Meadows**
DOORS I SIDING I WINDOWS I BLINDS
Ready to take the next step?
VISIT OUR SHOWROOM 2821 Brunswick Pike, Lawrenceville, NJ 08648 Phone: (609) 882-6709 www.lawrencevillehomeimp.com FAMILY OWNED AND OPERATED SINCE 1952 LIC#13VH00230500
2
St. Mary’s Assisted Living
Grace Garden Memory Care Assisted Living
St. Joseph’s Skilled Nursing
Morris Hall Meadows
Located in Lawrenceville, NJ For more information, please visit us at www.morrishall.org or contact us at mhadmissions@morrishall.org or 609.895.1937
December 2020
Advertising Contact: Rachel Donington Phone: 609-462-6786 rdonington@bestversionmedia.com Feedback/Ideas/Submissions Have feedback, ideas or submissions? We are always happy to hear from you! Deadlines for submissions are 25th of each month. Go to www. bestversionmedia.com and click “Submit Content.” You may also email your thoughts, ideas and photos to rdonington@bestversionmedia.com. Content Submission Deadlines: Content Due: Edition Date: November 25.................................January December 25................................February January 25........................................ March February 25.........................................April March 25..............................................May April 25................................................June May 25.................................................. July June 25............................................August July 25...................................... September August 25......................................October September 25 ��������������������������� November October 25................................ December Any content, resident submissions, guest columns, advertisements and advertorials are not necessarily endorsed by or represent the views of Best Version Media (BVM) or any municipality, homeowners associations, businesses or organizations that this publication serves. BVM is not responsible for the reliability, suitability or timeliness of any content submitted. All content submitted is done so at the sole discretion of the submitting party. ©2020 Best Version Media. All rights reserved.
To learn more about becoming an expert contributor, contact Lawrence Neighbors publisher Rachel Donington: 609-462-6786 rdonington@bestversionmedia.com.
Lawrence Neighbors
Thankfully, it doesn’t mean convincing yourself of some bogus notion that everything’s fine and dandy. Living your life with gratitude means choosing to focus your time and attention on what you really appreciate. The goal is not to block out difficulties, but to approach those difficulties from a different perspective. Appreciation softens us. It soothes our turbulent minds by connecting us with the ordinary things, great and small, that we might otherwise take for granted. Now as we approach the end of another year, it’s the perfect time to reflect on all the things we are grateful for. I am thankful for my family, friends, and neighbors. I am thankful to live in this special place we call Lawrence Township, which is such a wonderful place to live, to work, and raise a family. It is hard to believe the holiday season is upon us and 2020 is coming to a close. This issue, we are closing the year out strong with an inspiring story from the McCormack family, who has demonstrated strength and humility in the face of terrible loss. Paul shares the story of his wife, Melissa, whom they lost to cancer at the end of last year but who thought of others throughout her entire sickness. It is an emotional story, but I am so proud to present it here in the hopes that the memory of Melissa will inspire you to live in the moment and embrace a giving spirit. Wishing you and your family a joyous holiday season. Publisher: Rachel Donington, 609-462-6786 The holiday season reminds us, year after year, of the love we have for our family, friends, and neighbors. It is also a time when many of us pause and reflect on how lucky we are to have our loved ones in our lives. Paul and his children, Matthew and Rebecca, share the story of Melissa, Paul’s wife and the children’s mother, whom they lost late last year. Melissa was a warm, compassionate, kind person who, upon receiving a comfort care package during her cancer treatments, decided to spread the joy she felt at receiving the package and get involved with Lisa’s Army, an organization you will read about in the story. Today, Melissa’s memory lives on not only in the hearts of her family and friends, but in a very concrete way through Melissa’s Brigade, the Mercer division of Lisa’s Army. I am so grateful the McCormacks shared this story, rife with emotion, with us. It teaches us about the importance of giving, loving, and appreciating the people we have around us. Let us take a moment to think of Melissa and the loved ones we each have lost, feeling a sense of gratitude for the time we were lucky enough to have with them. Content Coordinator: Catherine Bialkowski
Our advertisers bring Lawrence Neighbors to you. Be sure to thank them by supporting their businesses. They are experts at what they do. Please Shop Local. And please tell our advertisers you saw their ad in Lawrence Neighbors. 3
Expert Contributor Workers’ Compensation Benefits for Essential Workers Effected by COVID-19
What Are You Grateful For?
By Vicki W. Beyer, Esq. | Stark & Stark, Attorneys at Law
By Rachel Donington
The holiday season is here and it’s the end of another year. This time of year gets me thinking about gratitude and how wonderful it feels to be thankful and appreciative, even for the small things we experience in everyday life. It turns out there is a growing body of research which shows there are many psychological benefits to being grateful, including feeling happier and lowering stress, depression, and anxiety. And of course feeling good about helping others feels good too! Not only that, there is also scientific evidence that expressing genuine gratitude on a daily basis can improve physical health as well by improving your quality of sleep, cardiovascular (heart) health, and immune function. Imagine that — something as simple as how we think about our lives and the people in them actually has a profound impact on our health. So clearly a spirit of gratitude and appreciation is an essential skill for everyone — young and old — to foster and develop. Gratitude promotes optimism and helps us to develop a more positive outlook. It lets us pause for a moment to reflect on something we have in our life right now instead of always striving for more; the next goal, the next vacation, a new car, new clothes, or the house renovation. Gratitude is simply cultivating a genuine appreciation for what we already have. And we have a lot! I’m sure you will agree that most of us actually have far more material ‘things’ than we really need. Take the ‘Gratitude Challenge’. During this holiday season, I encourage you to give the following things a try and see what effect they have on your own life. Say Thank You
Let’s start simply. Just say thank you. Intentionally find someone you care for and tell them ‘thanks!’ This might sound intimidating but give it a shot anyway. Tell Someone You Love Them Whether it’s a parent, child, or close friend, tell them you love and care about them. We so often forget to tell those we love that we do love them. It’s nice to be reminded that someone loves you. Donate Things You Don’t Use Gratitude is sometimes expressed in kindness. Do a quick purge of your closets and storage areas around your home and donate the items you haven’t touched in over 6 months to a local charity. This expresses your gratitude for the things you have by sharing what you have with those who have less. Call A Friend Give a friend or family member a call. Tell them you care about them and just wanted to say hi, or spend some time catching up. They are sure to appreciate this! Give Yourself A Treat Express your thanks to yourself by getting a special treat! For me this would might be a pedicure or tennis lesson. For others, it might be dessert or something new you’ve had your eyes on for a while! Give yourself a little treat because you’ve worked hard for it. The key here is to express genuine gratitude and appreciation for specific things you already have in your life and not to think ‘I wish I had more’. And the positive effect is multiplied when you share the gratitude with others – especially your own family and loved ones – but also your friends, colleagues, and neighbors. Why not give it a try this holiday season and see what happens?
After the attacks on September 11, 2001, New Jersey enacted legislation to ensure that certain public safety workers were granted a presumption that if they developed illnesses subsequent to their work at ground-zero, it was related and entitled to New Jersey Workers’ Compensation benefits. “Public safety workers” were defined to include police and firefighters (paid or volunteer), Community Emergency Response Teams, medical technicians, and nurses. This law was designed to protect workers who were required, by necessity, to take great personal risks in the line of duty.
the virus in the months or years ahead. Even essential workers who exhibited no symptoms after a positive diagnosis may experience permanent residual effects from the virus. Please contact Stark & Stark today for a free, no obligation consultation to ensure that your rights and the rights of your loved ones are protected.
This years’ global pandemic has created new challenges for employees. There were many workers that Governor Murphy deemed “essential” during the lock down. These employees were also asked to put themselves at great personal risk for the benefit of their community, but they were not included in the definition of “public safety workers.” That is, not until September 14, 2020. A few weeks ago, essential workers with positive COVID-19 tests were granted the same presumption as public safety workers when Governor Murphy signed a new law. Employees deemed “essential” during the pandemic include public and private sector workers whose duties and responsibilities were essential to the public’s health, safety, and welfare. This means that gas station attendants, grocery store personnel, employees of other retail stores, and warehouse workers for companies like Amazon that were open during the lock-down from March to July now receive a presumption that their diagnosis was work related. The “presumption” does not guarantee that the workers will receive workers’ compensation benefits, however; they may be eligible for the benefits if they fall into one of the “essential employees” categories. Benefits may include payment of COVID-19 related medical and hospital bills, wage replacement benefits for lost time from work due to contracting COVID-19, or an award of permanent disability if the worker has not made a full recovery from COVID-19. Because this disease is new, it is not possible to understand what effects a positive diagnosis may have on someone who contracted
Get the Benefits You Deserve for Your Workplace Injury Stark & Stark’s Workers’ Compensation Attorneys represent workers who have suffered a work-related injury or disease. With a full-service workers’ compensation practice, we will fight to help you recover all the benefits you deserve. www.Stark-Stark.com • 1-800-53-LEGAL 993 Lenox Drive, Lawrenceville, NJ 08648 40 Lake Center, 401 NJ-73, Suite 130, Marlton, NJ 08053
Savings around the corner. Let us help you save on car insurance and more.
Chris Cline 825 Route 33, Hamilton 609-530-1000 | geico.com/mercer
4
December 2020
Lawrence Neighbors
5
Educational Spotlight
Recipe
Lawrence Administrators Continue Learning as Part of Doctoral Study Cohort at Rider By Dr. Jonathan Dauber | Board Member, Lawrence Township Board of Education The thoughts/opinions presented here are Dr. Dauber's and do not necessarily reflect that of the Lawrence Board of Education. "Celebrating education in Lawrence with insight and inspiration; connecting readers to our students, schools and educational community." The unwritten expectation for educational leaders is that they continue to push their growing edge, day after day, year after year in an effort to be better at what they do. Lawrence Principals Mindy Milavsky, Alyson Fischer and Dave Adam, along with Assistant Principals Fay Lopez and Cliff Williams recognize this and have been working their way through Rider University’s Educational Doctorate program over the last few years.
Smile On! Gingerbread Men Cookies
Ms. Fischer has always considered herself a life-long learner and enjoys being immersed in college coursework. “I wanted to be in a program that helped me grow as a leader, as an educator, and as school administrator. Enrolling in Rider’s program has helped shape my leadership philosophy around equity and the need for a paradigm shift in our educational system.” Fischer continued, “I’m looking to place an emphasis on collaborative and critical thinking skills that will better prepare our students for life outside of our K-12 school system.”
By Rachel Donington
Gingerbread Men Cookies are as cute as can be. They’re fun to make, fun to decorate, and even more fun to eat. Play around with different shapes and decorating ideas … just be sure to add that big Gingerbread Man smile!
Rider’s doctoral program is in its 4th year, starting its most recent cohort of students pursuing the degree this year. The 36-month, 51-credit program involves two years of coursework and a year of dissertation research and analysis. Hybrid (online and on-campus) studies and summer residencies enable education professionals to pursue the degree without career interruption.
Ingredients
The goal of the program, according to the program of studies, is to prepare skilled professionals who use research and scholarship to inform their leadership and decision-making. Through the coursework, students develop a greater understanding and sense of context for today’s major educational challenges, including educational reform, instructional leadership and accountability, for example. Much of the program’s coursework relates to issues facing students’ own school, district or college, giving them practical knowledge and insight that can be applied every day to student work. In this case, dissertation topics for our Lawrence administrators include internet safety, restorative practices, access to higher-level coursework for students, student engagement through social media and literacy-based instruction. The cohort design creates a supportive and interactive learning environment that promotes peer-to-peer learning and networking, as well as close mentoring relationships between faculty and students. “There is no doubt that I have benefitted from my colleagues in Lawrence being part of the cohort. The model builds relationships that are crucial, particularly at the dissertation phase of the program. In addition to having on-going dialogues about assignments and discussion, Rider’s cohort model offers support and encouragement for all students in the cohort,” according to Fay Lopez. Fisher added, “Having some of my Lawrence colleagues with me to process and
6
• 1/2 cup butter, softened
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 3/4 cup packed dark brown sugar • 2 teaspoons ground ginger • 1/3 cup molasses
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1 large egg, room temperature
• 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 2 tablespoons water
• 1/2 teaspoon ground allspice
• 2-2/3 cups all-purpose flour
• Frosting of Your Choice
Directions 1. Cream butter and brown sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in molasses, egg and water. In another bowl, whisk together remaining ingredients minus frosting; gradually beat into creamed mixture. Divide dough in half. Shape each into a disk; cover. Refrigerate until easy to handle, about 30 minutes. 2. Preheat oven to 350°. On a lightly floured surface, roll each portion of dough to 1/8-in. thickness. Cut with a floured 4-in. gingerbread man cookie cutter. Place 2 in. apart on greased baking sheets. 3. Bake until edges are firm, 8-10 minutes. Remove to wire racks to cool completely. Frost and decorate as much as desired.
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
discuss the information from our own community lens has been invaluable as well.”
Fresh for the Holidays!
All five of the Lawrence administrators have recently had their dissertation proposals approved by the Board of Education’s Curriculum, Instruction and Assessment subcommittee, Rider’s Internal Review Board and most importantly, each of their dissertation committees who will ultimately review their completed studies in an effort to award the doctoral degree. As I write this piece, I reflect on my own doctoral study at Rutgers many years ago. The work, the people, the routines (chicken parmesan sandwich for dinner at the Grease trucks every Thursday night). It becomes a piece of you that will always be there. The opportunity to grow with colleagues is immeasurable to the collective process of such work. I wish these candidates the best and look forward to their efforts helping to support the students, staff and families in our Lawrence Township Public Schools.
December 2020
Give a Gift of Local this Holiday Season Gift Baskets & Boxes Filled with Terhune Fruit & Treats! Available for local delivery & nation-wide shipping.
Shop.terhuneorchards.com
• ••
Holiday Pies Apple Crisp . Apple Cider Fresh Produce Terhune Own Wine
terhuneorchards.com
330 Cold Soil Road Princeton, NJ 08540 . 609-924-2310 Lawrence Neighbors
•
Farm Store Open Daily All Year!
7
Resident Feature
Melissa's Brigade
Comforting Local Cancer Patients One Care Package at a Time By Catherine Bialkowski | Photos by Benoit Cortet
Paul first met Melissa in 1984 in his high school homeroom class in Connecticut. Quiet and shy with an amazing smile, Melissa caught his eye that morning. They dated on and off throughout high school and college, following the natural ebb and flow of youth, but were ultimately together for 35 incredible years. “It’s overwhelming to know somebody that long,” says Paul. "You both grow and develop into real beings," Paul says, "and it’s extremely useful to have a trusted guide to help navigate the ups and downs of life along the journey." Through Melissa’s quiet ways, she was always warm and endearing to nearly everyone who met her. “When she smiled at you, it was a powerful indication that life was peaceful,” says Paul. “She was friendly, welcoming, inclusive, and she would talk and more importantly listen to anybody who was open with her. She was very selfless and giving.” Melissa had such a steadiness about her that Paul immediately knew something was not right in June of 2018, at their daughter, Rebecca’s, high school graduation party, when she didn’t seem her normal, smiling self. When Paul asked what was wrong, Melissa said she was having pain in her side, again. Although she dismissed it as cramps or a symptom of any number of pains humans experience on a daily basis, Paul convinced her to go to the doctor as soon as possible. After consulting with her primary physician, Dr. Sean Naini, she was sent to Princeton Hospital the same day, and, after scans and tests, doctors found a grapefruit-sized malignant tumor. The growth was removed, along with complete hysterectomy and cancer debulking surgery
8
in August. Melissa then began the standard chemotherapy protocol to treat ovarian cancer. During this terrifying period, her primary oncologist, Dr. Angela Jain of Fox Chase Cancer Center in Philadelphia, nominated Melissa to receive a Comfort Care Package from Lisa’s Army, a non-profit organization that seeks to comfort men, women and children undergoing cancer treatment with a carefully curated package that includes such items as an inspirational card, luxury blanket, playing cards and crossword puzzles, Beats headphones or an Apple iPad, iTunes gift card, journals and pens, and personal care items. Cancer patients, when receiving treatment, often have to sit still for hours undergoing chemotherapy, and the care packages seek to bring comfort and positivity during these difficult times. Lisa Loonstyn-Golden, a Philadelphia area woman who was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at the age of 20, fought her battle selflessly and courageously, always putting others first even through her treatments. The first generation of these packages was her idea and what she tried to give. After Lisa passed away, her parents, Marie and Bill, and other members of her family and friend group, joined together to form Lisa’s Army as a way to let Lisa’s name live on to spread comfort and hope. The organization has provided hundreds of its premium packages since its inception; these packages have a real cost of $650 each, after generous discounts from retailers. Paul remembers the day Melissa received her package from Lisa’s Army; as matter of fact, all of her family and friends knew. She was jubilant as she posted on Facebook and texted. She had the items spread across the kitchen
December 2020
Lawrence Neighbors
Kelli Franceschini, Donna Hiner, Sue Diefenbach, Dana Thompson, and Amy Shuler
9
Resident Feature table, and was smiling bright at the thought that someone had put such a gift together for her. She did exhaustive research into the organization and decided to adopt Lisa’s Army, reaching out to see how she could make a difference. In October of 2019, Melissa fundraised and organized a group of more than 25 people to walk/run at the Lisa’s Army 5K in Philadelphia. Although she had to use a wheelchair, she completed the walk, encouraged and strengthened by her support system. Three weeks after she participated in the 5K, Melissa passed away on November 4, 2019, leaving behind her beloved husband Paul and children, Matthew and Rebecca. The loss of Melissa was starkly devastating to the McCormack/Carp family; she was a loving mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, and neighbor, sharing a warm smile even with strangers. Losing her changed the course of her friends and family’s lives.
Paul says that Melissa, in her reserved manner, would be humbled and sincerely grateful to know that Lisa’s Army, the organization that meant so much to her, dedicated a chapter in her name to positively touch the lives of cancer patients throughout Mercer County. Although, during her illness, she was unable to physically help others, “she had her voice,” Paul says. Sometimes, that’s all you need to change a life… your voice. Please visit lisasarmy.org/melissas-brigade/ for more information or to learn how to get involved.
Not long after Melissa’s passing, her close friend group, pictured here, reached out to Marie at Lisa’s Army to inquire about starting a branch of the organization dedicated to Melissa. In short order, they were granted the rights, and a Mercer County chapter of Lisa’s Army was formed, named Melissa’s Brigade. Matthew says, “I truly believe if my mother could witness what we are doing at Melissa’s Brigade in association with Lisa’s Army she would be beyond proud knowing that others are receiving the same blind love and care that she received.” His sister, Rebecca, agrees: “Even though Mom was a bit reserved and quiet, especially compared to Dad, Matt, and me, I think she would be so incredibly proud that we are giving back via Lisa’s Army because receiving her comfort care package meant so very much to her and she didn’t have time to do what she wanted to do to support them.” Melissa’s Brigade has committed to providing two Comfort Care Packages per month to individuals who have been nominated by the team of doctors and nurses at their primary support site, Robert Wood Johnson Hospital in Hamilton. Sue Diefenbach, founding member of Melissa’s Brigade and close family friend stresses, “Although the community need outweighs our resources to provide, Melissa’s Brigade is committed to making a difference one comfort care package at a time.” The unified goal is to brighten at least two cancer patients’ days, making their efforts worth more than gold.
SEASONS GREETINGS AND WARM WISHES FOR A HAPPY, HEALTHY, AND ABUNDANT NEW YEAR. As we close out 2020, the entire team at Knox Grove Financial would like to thank you for your patronage and the opportunity to provide you with the services and solutions needed to help you meet your unique financial goals. We appreciate your business and look forward to guiding you on “Your Path Forward” in the coming year.
Jodi Viaud, CFP® Partner and Financial Advisor
Your December Financial Tip: Pave the way for a successful 2021 by reviewing your short and long-term goals, checking on your beneficiary designations, and ensuring the risk tolerance and investment strategy on your accounts align with your objectives. YOUR PAT H FORWARD
10
Do you know a neighbor who has a story to share? Nominate your neighbor to be featured in one of our upcoming December 2020 issues! Contact Rachel Donington at rdonington@bestversionmedia.com.
Bill Stolow, CFP® Financial Advisor and Medicare Specialist
To schedule an appointment to talk about your financial future, call our office at 609-216-7440 Knox Grove Financial, LLC | 2 Tree Farm Road, Suite B100 | Pennington, NJ 08534 P: 609-216-7440 | www.knoxgrovefinancial.com Info@knoxgrove.com
Securities and investment advisory services offered through Royal Alliance Associates, Inc. member FINRA/SIPC. Royal Alliance Associates, Inc. is separately owned and other entities and/or marketing names, products or services referenced here are independent of Royal Alliance Associates, Inc.
Lawrence Neighbors
11
Poetry
INVEST IN YOUR OUTDOOR SPACES
B4: A PLACE. A MOMENT IN TIME, NOW FROZEN. By Paul McCormack
The Wilson Family provides affordable dignified services to the families of Hopewell Valley since 1960.
2560 Pennington Road, Pennington, NJ www.WilsonApple.com
Wilson-Apple Funeral Home Robert A Wilson, Owner NJ Lic # 2520
609-737-1498 Wilson-Apple Funeral Home
R.Asher Wilson, Manager NJ Lic # 3823/Pa Lic # FD-000766
609-737-1498 Cromwell-Immordino Memorial Home Joseph A. Immordino, Jr., Manager NJ Lic # 4231
609-466-0233 Timothy F. Reeg Funeral Director
Timothy F. Reeg, Manager NJ Lic # 3982/Pa Lic # FD-013977-E
609-392-1039 Serving Hopewell Township, Hopewell Borough, Lawrenceville, Ewing, Peinnington, Titusville, Blawenburg, and Princeton.
12
December 2020
As the years pass, I have an increasingly difficult time recalling what life was like for me…before. That somewhat mundane morning in ’84 when I opted to comply with the rules. For once. B4 was not a place I ever wanted to be in. And now it’s a place I never want to forget. It was cold, and I was lonely. I felt so alone. But that was before. Suddenly, I was aroused by a warm smile, an adorable laugh, and a well-dressed package (if you know what I mean). I was instantly struck. I was awakened, right down to my core. So: Intrigued, I began to pursue her. I pursued like never before. I was only a kid, so did I really know what I was experiencing, what I was feeling? I was only in my mid-teens! Day after day, I found myself wanting to explore life in the B4 world. Encouraged by a few, slight encounters, I jumped in with all the nerve and eloquence this arrogant Irishman could muster. Things ebbed and flowed, as they tended to at that time, but after a while my initial craze was replaced with honest discovery, new experiences, and strong feelings. Emotions I never felt before. I sank into a deeply uncomfortable zone. A zone of peace, intrigue, and curiosity. A foreign place for me in my underprivileged life. I always knew how to love, or at least I thought so. Up til now, I’d lived in a somewhat turbulent world. I tried to shine with confidence and a certain level of comfort. But it was all a facade. My feeling was not a fascination. It was something new and special, something precious. It was real…and I knew it. At the ripe old age of 15, I absolutely knew it! Along the way, I made many mistakes, infinite mistakes. But when I put my head down at night, even subconsciously I knew the path I was destined for. I knew the path I wanted to be on. The path that lead to her. So, I got on it! I pushed myself. I pushed myself like never before. I learned self-control, and how to focus. I learned what it was to commit — to be an actual, true, deep, and meaningful partner for a willing mate. In short, I fell in love. And, to my astonishment, so did she. I never knew, and now I’ll never know, what she saw in me once I let my guard down; when I stopped “selling myself” to her. I knew I was sub-par, at best. Until she saw what I’d never seen. In reflection, I’ve come to realize that she loved me into existence. She nurtured me into the man I am today. And she did it without asking me to become somebody else. All she asked was that I become
Lawrence Neighbors
myself. It was my passion to be with her, to love her, that drove me to become…to be…a better man. Without a doubt, she brought out the very best version of me. When I was with her, I was strong…invincible…and truly happy. Three and a half decades have passed, and now she’s gone. Gone forever. I never, ever, wanted to go back to what life was like before B4, before the morning I first noticed her. And I know she doesn’t want me to. We talked about it. She cared too much, loved me too much, to want me to look backward. She said she wants me to be happy and doesn’t want me to be alone. Still, I find myself sitting here, very much like I was before she lit up my world and changed my life forever. It’s cold, and I’m lonely. I am so alone. Alone without her. B4 was my homeroom class at Trumbull High School in Connecticut where in late 1984 I met the most incredibly influential person in my life, Melissa Beth Carp McCormack. September 10, 2020
13
STOCKING STUFFERS That Aren’t Candy
By Kady Parker
Whether you’re helping Santa stuff stockings or just need inspiration for the smaller holiday gifts, we have the list for you! Candy and sweets are tempting, but what if the recipient can’t enjoy candy due to a dairy, nut, soy or other allergy? These hand-sized items make creative presents for both the young and young at heart. And they’re so much better than candy canes! • Lip balm • Playing cards • Reusable drinking straws • Ear bud cord keeper • Votive candle in a holiday scent • Hand lotion • Smartphone case • Reusable grocery tote (when folded up, these can fit in the palm of your hand!)
• Gift card to their favorite coffee shop or juice bar • AA batteries for holiday gifts that don’t include them • Touch screen gloves • Pocket journal • Hand warmers • Mini instant camera (you remember—the one where you shake the picture as you wait for it to develop?) • Nail clippers
SHARE YOUR STORIES Do you know any local student athletes, coaches or teams who deserve some recognition? Tell us why! Visit our website to submit your articles and videos so we can feature the go-getters and MVPs in your neighborhood.
• Kinetic sand • Glow-in-the-dark pens • Cookie cutter • Rubik’s Cube • Temporary tattoos • Slime (or go old school and get silly putty!)
SUBMIT YOUR STORY TODAY!
• Fuzzy socks
What’s scarier than a lung screening? Telling your loved ones that you should have gotten one sooner.
⊳⊳⊳⊳
BVM SPORTS: ONE PLACE. ALL SPORTS.
Screening for early detection of lung cancer can give you — and your family — peace of mind. We understand – if you’ve been smoking a pack of cigarettes a day for the past 20 to 30 years, getting your lungs checked is a scary proposition. But we also know that if you choose to get a low-dose CT scan to detect the early stages of lung cancer, it could increase your chances of a positive outcome by at least 20% over chest x-rays. So you’re less likely to give your friends and family the worst news of all. An experienced Lung Nurse Navigator will be with you and your loved ones every step of the way to help, no matter what services you choose. If you qualify, the screening is covered by Medicare and most insurances. Call 609-584-2826 or visit rwjbh.org/hamiltonlungscreening
Let’s beat cancer together.
DOWNLOAD THE BVM SPORTS APP ON YOUR MOBILE DEVICE
Rutgers Cancer Institute of New Jersey is the state’s only NCI-designated Comprehensive Cancer Center. Together RWJBarnabas Health and Rutgers Cancer Institute offer the most advanced cancer treatment options close to home.
⊲ JOIN US ON SOCIAL MEDIA We’ve taken every precaution to keep you safe. So if you’ve put off cancer care due to COVID-19, please don’t delay it any longer.
14
December 2020
Lawrence Neighbors
15
2951