Reach Book Review

However, in the middle of last year, I felt overwhelmed and inadequate in this given role and responsibility. Being a tutor in academic subjects was not my trained profession, I was also discouraged by the lack of responses from the students during the chat time. It became worse when one of the girls went into Women’s Refuge with her mother and younger sister. It perturbed me that despite knowing this girl for many months, I had no inkling that she was going through this in her life. I felt that I had failed as a tutor, and as a mentor.

For the rest of the year I struggled with self-doubt and my contribution to this ministry. On the week leading up to the meeting, I often felt anxious and tense. I could only pray and ask God to give me strength, sensitivity and sound mind to impart His knowledge and wisdom on the students. God is faithful, every meeting went well, and left me with joy in my heart, compassion for the students, and gratitude for the privilege of being part of their lives. Nonetheless, the cycle of self-doubt–anxiety–joy and gratitude continues for the rest of the year.

This year, there are some new changes to the program. In order to better engage the older kids, the decision was made to train them as “buddies” for the younger kids, giving them the responsibility of mentoring. At the first “buddy training” session, which I was not present, one of the girls I mentored last year expressed to the group that I am her role model, and that she wanted to be like me.

Wow, I was both honoured and humbled when this was relayed to me. There I was, feeling unqualified in my role, fearful of failing in my responsibility; yet God was able to use me to impart and inspire someone. I now understand what Paul meant by “when I am weak, then I am strong”. I realised that I am at my best when I am dependent on God rather than on my own ability and adroitness. God can and will achieve so much more in me and through me when I allow His Spirit to work in me.