IF OUR PETS COULD TALK

IF OUR PETS COULD TALK

Well hello there! My name’s Albert and I’m a fourteen-year-old yellow-bellied slider. My current person rescued me from a five gallon tank nine years ago. I went from a small glass box on top of a piano, to a forty-gallon tank complete with a sun lamp, rock ledge (perfect for my morning yoga), and water deep enough to do handstands in. Bless her - I think she thought I needed her, but it was obvious she was the one who needed me. Y’all she used to sit with me on the living room floor and share pieces of fruit with me, or sit by my tank and read by my warming lamp. She even took me for walks in the yard…She was kind of pathetic honestly. Okay, so maybe I did like the foot massages and neck rubs, but seriously… who does that to a turtle?

Then came the hounds from hell, first Moe and Curly, then the little rascal Pearl, and I had help keeping her occupied. Thank god, because I’d started to worry about her mental state.

A few years ago we left Tennessee and moved to Florida. I had vague memories of sitting in a fishbowl, waiting to be purchased like a cheap souvenir somewhere in Florida so I wasn’t sure what to expect. But she surprised me with my very own outdoor water garden - 460 gallons to swim in, with lots of rocks to sun on, and some loose dirt to dig in when I want. She still visits and shares her dinner with me and I realized she’s not crazy. She’s just weird.

Albert’s person is Mandy Haynes.