Waiting…for the perfect time by Warren Boo Spearman
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Dating and Relationships
tips I am Warren “Boo” Spearman. Graduate of East Carolina University, Class of 2004 with a Bachelor’s Degree in Communications, specializing in Electronic Journalism. Videographer and Photographer, and a cancer survivor since 2005. And what’s always interested me is the human chess battle of the sexes.
Warren & lady
Human Chess. We all play it, whether we are aware of it or not (and believe me, there are those who are playing Candyland). I used to believe some men played checkers and some women played chess. I was wrong, we all play chess, there are just those who know how to better manipulate the board than others. Never fear dear reader, for I am here to show you some chess moves due to my years of getting checkmated and checkmaking. There are many chessboards in the game of human chess, and one of the popular chessboards are the bars, clubs, and sports resturants. Pretty much, any place where there is an attractive waitress or female bartender, and no matter where you go (hooters, strip club, hell, maybe even the neighborhood McDonalds) the moves/rules are kind of universal. Trying to talk to a beautiful waitress or bartender can be a bit tricky, but I’ve learned that you have to capture their attention, either by being original, such as a having a book, or visual stimuli, such as being a sharp dresser, or having tattoos (as a guy having the latter, trust me, it’s a GREAT conversation starter). But of course, it still takes confidence and and being ORIGINAL. Remember, they hear cheesy lines 1,000 times a day. Minimum. They are down to earth for the most part, but you have to quickly deduce whether that look and that smile is the hustle, or the real deal. Make no mistake, it is a hustle. Do you think they would put up with that crap for free?! As guys, well NICE guys, we are especially eager to please. Don’t be. Remember: - have a line to draw in the sand - don’t be a hound when talking to them, be cool - have a natural chemistry (very important…can’t fake chemistry) - if you’re going to use cheesy pick-up lines, you better have a smile and an ability to make fun of yourself to bail you out of it if you’re trying to be serious In the end, like everything with dating, it’s all trial and error. They are still women and still people. So act like a jerk and you will be dealt with accordingly, unless she’s the type of girl who likes jerks, then you’re in! But you definitely have to be on your game, due to the odds being stacked against you ( a lot of guys trying to talk to them, could be busy, just could not be your day, or her week, etc…) Now that we have laid the background, let’s discuss the moves of the board. 1. Be original. -So important, it had to mentioned twice! 2. Don’t get too familiar. -If you’re sensing a connection between yourself and that cute waitress, and you’re hesitant at first about making a move, please resist urge to go to that place every day. It just makes you a stalker and that helps no one. -If possible, try to go every two to three weeks, this will give her time to miss you (if she likes you), and gives you time to come up with an original thought to keep you in the back of her mind. This is also good because you will stick out in the endless mine field from all those other dorks who think that stuff actually works. 3. Smile, make eye contact., simple high school type flirting, keep it innocent. -Nothing kills a mood quicker than an ill-timed or dirty joke, especially if she doesn’t know that about your sense of humor. You look like a idiot, and even worse, now she’s telling her co-workers about you. 4. Get deep. (No not that way) -I know you might seem like a massive nerd for taking a book into restaurant, but it’s nice conversation starter and it’s something you can build on. It also shows her you’re not one-dimensional who’s there to just stare at her. 5. Don’t let the smile fool you. -I can’t stress this one enough. Yes, she’s beautiful, but she’s there to be nice. She’s supposed to be, she’s in the hospitality business. BUT, if she holds that smile for a second longer…she digs you. -If she laughs at something you said you really didn’t mean to be funny, she digs you. -And in case you didn’t go to high school, hitting is a good thing... 6. BE A GRACIOUS TIPPER. (not that way, that also comes later) Of course, these are just my observations, but just for fun, I actually took a field trip to a local sports bar to ask some of the waitresses there about this, and these are their actual responses. Nia: “Eye contact definitely helps, but not in a creepy way. Make small talk to me while you’re there, before you leave and be original. And every time I walk by, don’t jump on me.” Jasmine: “ Definitely original, a sense of genuineness, and a sense of humor. Intellect is also huge for me, you can’t be dumb.” The game remains the same. Trend Privé Magazine 59
