Tame your brain FOR A BATTLE (LEGAL OR OTHER WISE)
By Kiné Corder, MA, NCC National Certified Counselor
Y REALVEGASMAGAZINE.COM
ou win some and you lose some, that’s what they say. But high achievers play to win, period, dot, bottom line. Losing is not an option. High-achievers love winning much more than they hate losing. And that’s why they usually do it. They put everything they have into winning, every time.
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As a therapist who’s worked with attorneys, athletes, soldiers, doctors, entrepreneurs, and other high-achievers, I’ve seen this drive to win lead to impairment. Cortisol levels go up as stress levels soar. Serotonin levels go down as the sense of satisfaction, happiness, and wellbeing subsides. The elevated stress causes inflammation to increase in the body, the immune system to weaken, and the body to become more susceptible to disease. This goes mostly undetected, but what the high achiever can often experience are the physical pains like headaches, neck tightening, and shoulder stiffness. The mental pressure can cause high achievers to lose sleep, friends, and even direction. The cost of winning can be expensive if you don’t know how to tame your brain during a battle. What’s a battle feel like?: During a legal battle, all parties want to win. At-
torneys want to keep their good record, plaintiffs want justice, while defendants want their freedom, dignity, and reputation. Even the judge wants to feel like a winner during a legal battle. Every once in a while, there’s a win-win-win-win situation, however that’s rare. In most cases, someone gets what they want while the others get less than their fair share. It becomes even more stressful when it’s a zero-sum game. Winning at the end feels good, but that doesn’t mean it feels good along the way. Each case comes with a series of deadlines, court dates, and discoveries. And with all of that comes a rollercoaster of emotions. But what if instead of a rollercoaster it was more like a train ride. You may not be the conductor, but at least you know all the stops. When you can tame your brain, you’re able to smooth out some of the emotional reactions. What you’re up against?: The biggest problem when it comes to a battle, especially a legal battle, is you don’t know what’s going to happen. Even if you’re the attorney, you know the process, but you don’t know the outcome. And when you’re not the attorney or the judge, the process is a bit confusing, and you feel like nobody cares about winning as much as you do. Even though you have a team, you feel like
you’re by yourself. Here is the second problem, you get so focused on the specific end goal that you lose patience, flexibility, and reason along the way. This behavior causes you to shut down, close off, and creates more divisiveness, which makes you feel more alone.
