-Cayley Fergusson
Love is simple, but loving can be complicated. Loving others, but more importantly, loving yourself is essential no matter how you identify yourself. Everyone experiences love in one way or another, but for the transgender individuals of society that take up only 0.1% of the UK population (thats one in every 10,000 people), finding love can be an undiscussed area of a nonbinary lifestyle.
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trans love The traditional love story typically involves a relationship of cis men and women, but with the gender spectrum having a continuum of varieties, the possibilities are endless. However, love doesn’t just mean the sexual and emotional partnership that you share with another, it means much more than that. The affirmation of self love, loving the world and the opportunities that it holds. This can be achieved through self-expression, which recently the fashion industry is encouraging to promote diversity in the way we look and to celebrate who we are.
Cayley Fergusson, aged 19 from Durham and Erin Stewart, aged 17 from Dumfries are transgender females, whose friendship demonstrates how you can find love through expression of your authentic self. Since finding each other through social media, they have helped one another through their journey to embracing their identity. “I think fashion is a great way to express yourself,” says Erin, “I like to dress feminine because that’s just who I am, ever since I was seven I’ve been dressing as a girl because it makes me feel happy. If you are confident in yourself, you’ll become a stronger person.” Cayley mentions the topic of dating, “Although I have never dated (as such) it is something that I want to be able to do in the future, further into my transition when I am more comfortable with my body and more confident and positive about myself. I think it’s hard to find someone when you’re in a mind-set of not loving who you are at the moment, and if you don’t love yourself, you can’t really expect somebody else to.” The way we mentally and physically treat our bodies often reflects the
Erin stewart
way we act around others, so learning to find acceptance through self- love really is the greatest gift you can give yourself. The mainstream traditional definition of gender fails in capturing the rich variation of opportunities; intertwining biology, gender expression and identity, as well as sexuality to create a multidimensional model of what gender means, and in hand, what love can be. Frank Simpson, aged 17, is a transgender male student from Durham with truly influential views on diversification within society. “I didn't really notice gender until I was twelve or so. It wasn't presented to me as being an aspect of identity, or indeed as being anything of any importance,” he recalls. “Often when people say gender is a social construct, I feel as though issues are raised for trans people and our validity. Yes, it is a social construct, but that doesn't make anyone's identity any less valid.” Although the societal construction of gender is becoming increasingly invalid and far less important nowadays, some trans individuals feel pressure to live up to the heteronormative beauty ideals of their preferred gender. Cayley says, “Although right now I dress androgynously, I feel in time and further into my transition that clothing, makeup and my general visual appearance will be important as it will help society accept me as being female. Although being female is not defined by what clothes you wear, the length of your hair or how feminine your body is, I feel that without those things society may not accept me as a woman.” It’s hard to believe that living in the 21st century still poses restrictions on expression, with consequences to some who portray themselves as being non-binary. It is reported around 77% of transgender individuals experience anxiety or depression, which needs to change. According to the independent, violent crime against transgender people has increased by 58 percent in the past two years; which sadly makes it daunting for trans people to physically express their authentic self and feel comfortable. This proves that we still have a long way to
go with regards to discrimination against the transgender community. Thankfully, there are many organisations that support LGBTQ+ rights. Mel Metcalfe is the Chair of Durham Pride, a charity organisation that works in partnership to celebrate diversity and promote equality by raising awareness about the issues and difficulties affecting the lives of LGBTQ+ people in this northern city. He explains: “Equality change is essential to highlight peoples basic human rights to be able to choose who they want to share their lives with or how they want to be identified. I have been spat at and assaulted because of my sexual orientation. Society needs to understand that there are variations to how people express their gender and allow that to happen in a safe and non-judgemental way. We know that people feel happier and contribute more to society when they feel part of it and acceptance can begin a process of healing for most.” He continues, “Durham Pride gives a safe space once a year for the LGBTQ+ community to celebrate their identity and show the world who they are.” Frank describes the trans community and talks of its true values: “The Bohemian ideals sum it up pretty well. Truth, because being true to yourself is incredibly important. Beauty, because there's an incredible beauty in self acceptance. Freedom, because the moment you accept yourself you become free. Justice, because there's certainly still a need to strive for justice for our community, though we have moved forward from where we started. Finally, love. Because the trans community, for all its faults, is a wonderful one. You will find people who love you, and you'll find that you love them. You can find family within your friends, and a close knit community really helps make that happen.” By listening to ourselves and to each other; communicating in a constructive manner that allows for people to express themselves through fashion and visual appearance without hesitation, our society will become an increasingly vibrant and loving one. Those who identify as trans or non-binary can learn to spread the love that they gain when becoming who they truly are.
- FRANK SIMPSON