22 minute read
Special Feature – Alissandra Moon
WARNING: Contains descriptions of abuse and things which may be triggering to some.
From drugs and destruction to Priestess ing th e Revolution!
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How my Spiritual development changed my life.
ARTICLE ALISSANDRA MOON
If you had told me 20 years ago, that I would still be alive in my 30s, I never would have believed you! Add to that being a successful entrepreneur, High Priestess with a Witchcraft Academy & International Ministry, mother of two amazing children, a world-renowned psychic and spiritual coach, highly respected spiritual leader… and a whole list of other incredible achievements… I’d have laughed in your face!
You see, life was not always like this for me.
To say I had a very troubled adolescence, would be a huge understatement!
I was an only child and had never fitted in. I was always a target for bullies and my psychic/magickal abilities made me feel like I didn’t belong. That is, once I realised that it was NOT normal and that not everyone saw spirits, had premonitions, felt what others did, made things happen just by thinking or saying something and so on… I felt very, very disconnected and separate from ‘the norm’.
I always sought validation and acceptance from my older cousins, but seemed to only ever get the opposite. No matter how hard I tried to be ‘right’, I never was.
I was also extremely hypersensitive on top of being empathic, so until I learned to manage my intense emotions and to shield myself from other people’s energies, I was always in a state of overwhelm and emotional turmoil.
When I was 6, my next door neighbour’s 18yo son started molesting me. His younger brother, who I was friends with, was also forced to do things to me, while his older brother watched. It went on for years but I just buried it inside, which caused a lot of shame and a general disconnection with my soul.
Between my own feelings of something being wrong with me, the cruel words and actions of other children and the various things that happened when I was a child, I learned to create my own fantasy world to block out reality. This is how I coped with life up until my 20s.
When I was 10, I was so miserable and lonely all the time that I decided I wanted to go and be with my grandfather and our dogs in the A erlife. So, I made the first of many suicide attempts.
At 10, I didn’t really know what I was doing. I took a full box of Panadol. Luckily, I just ended up vomiting for two days!
Next I tried to poison myself by tipping a bottle of scented oil into my food. Apart from the fact it was not very toxic, it tasted horrendous and I couldn’t eat more than one small spoonful! I still hate anything that reminds me of that scent! haha
Not long a er, I ended up changing schools. Mum and dad wanted me to be happy, and the new Principal at my original school was a nasty chauvinistic pig who actually backed up the bullies!
This was when things started going down hill. Although I got great marks at my new school, I also got suspended for smoking and bringing weed to school in year 6.
When I started high school, again, I got caught with weed and the bullying got so bad, I ended up having to change high schools too.
I ended up leaving school and got a job.
I eventually went to TAFE and got my fi rst of many diplomas. Study has always been a passion of mine and that’s why I have so many diff erent qualifi cations and am now able to combine all my knowledge to help others on such a deep level!
People found out that I was learning and practising witchcra which was good at first but quickly turned nasty.
I was tormented daily for being a freak, so I shaved my head, pierced my nose and acted the part – becoming the school ‘Gothic freak’.
One day the bullies thought it would be fun to lure me into the field, throw some flammable nail polish remover on me and set me on fire. “Witches get burned!” they were shouting!
I had to strip o most of my clothes and run back to the toilets, whilst everyone laughed hysterically.
This was the beginning of me completely burying my true self and punishing myself for being me.
I started self-harming regularly, drinking o en and smoking daily.
Not long a er starting my new school, I was invited to a party by a guy I liked. It was my first real party. I went with him and his friends, stopping o to get alcohol first.
I don’t remember much of that night, but I do remember waking up naked, bloody and torn. I had momentary flashes of di erent guys on top of me and other people in the room watching.
I now know that this is what cemented my unhealthy relationship to sex and obliterated all sacredness when it came to my body.
I had lost my virginity at 15 to date/gang rape. I didn’t get to give that gi or even choose who it was to or how. Thankfully I WAS unconscious for it but that also made it harder to heal.
When I returned to school a few days later, a er faking illness as long as I could, the guy I had gone to the party with, and his friends, all acted like they didn’t know me.
It was soul-destroying! I was desperate for some answers but when I asked any questions, they just acted like I was crazy and never went to a party with them.
I ended up extremely sick not long a erwards. My body was basically shutting down. I ended up trying to keep up through home-schooling with my Mum but couldn’t be awake for more than an hour or so a day. I was 25kg at 16. My spirit was broken and undernourished due to feeling unworthy of love and kindness from anyone outside of my family. I now know that this was a combination of having my soul fragmented and Shaman sickness – an initiation of sorts, but because I was unaware and did the opposite of what I was meant to, my illness got worse.
I ended up leaving school and got a job. I eventually went to TAFE and got my first of many diplomas. Study has always been a passion of mine and that’s why I have so many di erent qualifications and am now able to combine all my knowledge to help others on such a deep level!
When I was at TAFE I met an older guy. He was 25 and I was 17. He had just gotten o heroin and introduced me to injecting Speed.
It took many weeks of me begging him to do it for me and eventually he obliged. Under a bridge, sitting in his little red sports car, he gave me my first shot.
From that moment, my life would never be the same again!
A er spending years of my life with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and other illnesses, for me to actually have energy and feel alive, was incredible!!!
But I loved it a little TOO much!
That guy ended up playing games with my head and heart, cheating and playing me like a fool. I was obsessed with him AND addicted to the drugs which only he could administer.
I met a lot of questionable people in that time and did a lot of questionable things. Unfortunately, my best friend also ended up on Speed with me.
Eventually, I got o it and got myself back on track.
I moved out west to Dubbo with a school friend. I allowed him to play with my head and heart too until my Mum helped me get my own place with a co-worker. We both worked at the most popular bar and nightclub in town. It was so much fun!
Maybe TOO much fun!
Every week I would end up giving my pay check back to my boss to pay my bar tab.
Most weekends a er work, we would bring everyone still at the club back to our place to keep partying. It was wild!
On one of my trips back home to see my parents, I caught up with my ex and he introduced me to Crystal Meth.
It was so di erent! I actually didn’t love it at first but eventually I ended up moving back with my parents and got hooked on it in no time!
Graduation Ceremony – high on Speed.
First night out of rehab, drinking.
I was so desperate for love and acceptance that I ended up getting talked into being the pawn in a credit card scam, which also paid for my drug habit until my conscience got the better of me and I went to the cops to hand myself in.
That turned into 16 months of court and psych evaluations and eventually ended in me going to rehab for 3 months.
A er rehab, I ended up in a relationship with ‘the love of my life’. We drank a lot, but I was absolutely head over heels! I had never experienced love like that before.
Then a few days before my 21st birthday, I got extremely sick again. I was in agony and couldn’t walk. I got worse and ended up losing my mind. At 12.22am on my 21st birthday, I died.
Luckily, I was already in ICU, so I was revived but ended up in a coma. I had Meningococcal, Endocarditis and septic arthritis. Luckily my body shut down and by dying for a short time, it stopped the spread and somehow rebooted my body. I still was not expected to survive though.
I ended up spending 6 months in hospital and did recover but ended up with mild brain damage from the time I was clinically dead.
Whilst in hospital I met some people and we had our own little crew.
We made it fun, but as they each got discharged, I found myself making friends with a di erent crowd… this is when I was introduced to heroin.
I understood immediately why people got hooked! It was like injecting heaven straight into my body and having the world transform to match.
When I eventually got out of the hospital, I continued using heroin on a casual basis. Unfortunately, this led me back to using meth again and that’s when things started turning to shit!
A friend introduced me to a brothel owner in Dubbo and I went there for a week on a working holiday. I made tens of thousands of dollars which meant I had money to use more drugs, more frequently.
Between selling my body, putting up with things at the brothel that I won’t go into here, and using drugs heavily, my mental health rapidly deteriorated.
I ended up in and out of hospital again from suicide attempts and self-harm.
Eventually, my partner couldn’t cope anymore and broke up with me in a text message.
A part of me died at that moment. It’s taken 18 years to heal from it.
The months that followed were like a living hell!
I very quickly ended up on heroin full time to try to numb the pain. I was also drinking daily, sleeping with pretty much anyone to try to feel loved and wanted, even if just for a moment.
It didn’t take long before I was working in a brothel in Kings Cross.
The whole time is a blur, so I’m unsure of timelines and some of the things that occurred are just too horrific to share.
During this time, I was held prisoner and repeatedly raped and beaten by a guy I agreed to go on a date with.
A er our date when I wanted to leave, he wouldn’t let me. I don’t know how long I was locked in that garden shed, but thankfully he kept me dosed up on drugs… because it was actually the dealer who figured out what was going on and he came back with a friend to rescue me.
I had to leave all of my belongings behind but at least I was free!
On numerous occasions, I was robbed, because I was sleeping wherever I could. O en In random people’s lounge rooms a er we went halves in a deal, or anywhere sheltered and semi-safe.
I was selling my body almost daily to keep up my habit and o en found myself doing extremely questionable
Promo pic for Brothel in Darlinghurst.
things. I just did what I had to and then numbed myself so I didn’t have to deal with it.
All this time I was still so heartbroken and obsessed with my ex, that I honestly didn’t care if I died.
My parents had basically accepted that they would eventually get that knock on the door by the cops, telling them that their only child had been found murdered or dead. No parent should ever have to experience that!
Although I numbed it, the insidious shame from this knowledge was eating me alive.
On one occasion, I went to score from my regular dealer and he had nothing. A man named John who lived above him called me up. He o ered me a shot in exchange for sexual favours.
I reluctantly agreed.
He managed to convince me that he genuinely cared about my welfare and that I should make these ‘visits’ a regular occurrence. Me being the broken and naive girl I was, I agreed. Things turned abusive pretty quickly, and it was not long before I found myself being held semicaptive again.
I say semi because I was allowed to leave occasionally but he held my parents’ house keys, my purse and bank cards etc… and made it clear that if I did not return within my given time frame, he would “take a little visit to my parents”.
There was NO WAY I was going to allow my parents to be hurt any more than they were already, by my drug use.
Eventually, I managed to get free from that situation, but one night when I le my dealer’s house, two men attacked me, gagged me and threw me in the boot (trunk) of a car.
When the car stopped, the boot opened and standing there with a hammer, ready to strike me, was a man I had never seen before, and John, the Man who had held me, prisoner, only weeks before.
I was ripped out of the boot by my hair and thrown onto the road. It was a back road behind farmland. I have no idea where it was but there was no one around for miles. At this point, I honestly thought I was going to die. I was terrified beyond words!
John bent down and told me that I was going to do every little thing I was told to do and if I behaved, I might be allowed to leave a er they “earned enough”.
For the next few days, I was the getaway driver for all the ‘jobs’ they did. I was not allowed to sleep and barely ate.
On the last night, I was made to wait in the car for hours and hours whilst they dug up copper cables. I was so exhausted I ended up falling asleep in the car and didn’t wake up to the phone ringing.
I woke up to John bashing on the window and opening the door. He ripped me out of the car and backhanded me. I tried to apologise and explained that I hadn’t slept but that made things worse. He punched me in the eye and knocked me out. I regained consciousness to him shaking and slapping me, then with my head bleeding from hitting the road and one eye was completely swollen shut, I was forced to drive him to go get the cables.
I was let go the next day and reminded that they knew where my parents lived, so I had better keep my mouth shut!
There was a lot more that happened over those nights, but I will just say that it scared me enough to want to get clean!
I only overdosed on heroin once and the so-called ‘friends’ I was with that night, wanted to dump me in the train station carpark! Luckily my dealer at that time had a thing for me and he got me to the hospital.
I actually lost count of how many near-death experiences I have had over the years. But EVERY time, the same spirit being was there telling me, “Not yet! You have work to do!”
I didn’t even think about the being until later on. I just thought it was a dream or memory of a dream.
I ended up getting clean again with the help, love and
Me smashed on drugs, at one of the places I used to stay. I woke up to John bashing on the window and opening the door. He ripped me out of the car and backhanded me. I tried to apologise and explained that I hadn’t slept but that made things worse.
support of my beautiful parents. I went back to University but then got engaged to a violently abusive alcoholic.
When I started studying Nursing and Pathology Collection, I met a younger man and he helped me move out of my fiancé’s house, and back into my parents’ place.
I ended up falling pregnant to that guy and as I had previously been told that I likely could not have children, I thought it might be my only chance. So, I decided to start a life with Rod (name changed) and our baby.
That was not to be though. Postnatal depression and losing my lifelong friend to suicide took its toll and drove a wedge between us. He was only 18 and had never had a serious relationship. When I broke up with him, he took our daughter and used her against me. He also managed to turn my family against me.
I spent my very first Mother’s Day alone, crying on my daughter’s bedroom floor, not knowing where she was and having no family to talk to.
I hit the bottle hard! From the moment I opened my eyes, I was drinking, partying every night and making ‘friends’ with all kinds of people.
One of those was coming to me for counselling, as he had heard that I used to work in Mental Health.
One night he came around and refused to leave. Things started getting scary and my intuition told me to call for help. I called the police, but he grabbed my Motorola Razor and literally snapped it in front of my face.
He then called my parents and told them I’d gone crazy, was on drugs and going to kill myself. I screamed out that it wasn’t true and tried to run out my front door.
He dropped the phone and tackled me into the wall. He held me so tight I couldn’t breathe. I threw my head back and broke his nose. He head-butted me back, knocking me out.
I regained consciousness on the floor with him sitting on me, blowing blood in my face and him telling me I was going to die. He also taunted me that my parents would find me and think I did it to myself and he would get away with it as he did with Maria (a girl who was murdered a few years prior).
I won’t go into the details, but basically, he beat me, brutally raped me, tried to break my neck, strangle and su ocate me. I fought like I had never fought before!
It was NOT going to end like that!!
Luckily, he didn’t disconnect the phone from my parents and they heard the whole thing. They called the police and just before I lost consciousness, he jumped o me and ran! I didn’t know why until the cops were at my front door.
I did escape with my life, but my spine was shattered, and I had to re-learn how to do a lot of things again.
These events were just a small fraction of what I have experienced. Even though I had studied hard, gained numerous qualifications, and was always helping others, I lived with a victim mentality and “Why me?” attitude. I was a serial pessimist, which meant that I was constantly attracting more awful things to me. I created my own reality by being so negative.
One day though, whilst in yet another abusive relationship, everything changed. I was fed up with being a victim! I KNEW I had the power in me to change everything and that I had to devote myself properly to my true spiritual path. The Witch’s Path.
I made the choice to do whatever it took to become the best version of myself.
I le Harry (name changed) and dove headfirst back into my studies. I was devoted to ME.
I ended up meeting my current husband Michael at this time and through my own self-healing and will, I was o ALL of my antidepressants and feeling better than I EVER had, in a very short time!
I went back to reading Tarot, became a Reiki Master, discovered more about the long ling of Siberian Shamans and Healers in my family, initiated in two di erent magickal traditions and COMPLETELY turned my life around!
I had a son with Michael and he, our 9-year-old son and my 14-year-old daughter now live happily as a family.
I was able to heal myself from the emotional, spiritual and physical trauma that I had experienced and through combining the best parts of all of my study, I started TRULY helping others to transform their lives as I have!
It has taken nine years, but I have now developed two incredible programs that not only teach others in-depth spiritual development and Witchcra , but also guide them through massive healing and transformation.
My husband Michael and I now.
I have learned so much in my four decades of life in this body and now I understand exactly what the ‘being’, whom I now know to be my spirit guide, was saying to me each time death was near – it really WASN’T my time and I certainly DID have work to do! Still do!
I have completely devoted myself to doing the work that I am here to do. However, calling it work feels inaccurate. I love every minute of it! The mind-blowing results my clients and students are getting daily bring me so much joy that I am thankful every single day for the path I have walked in order to lead me here.
Learning Witchcra is about so much more than most of the mainstream books and ‘init-witch’ influencers make it out to be.
When studied properly, every step is transformational and healing, for you as well as those closest to you and the world in general. Everything is connected and when WE heal, it heals the world as well.
It is my mission to pass on my hard-earned knowledge and experience to as many people as possible so that they too can heal, grow and go forth to help others do the same thing!
We are on the brink of a major revolution and I KNOW, that I have been put here to help lead it – to prepare the newly awakened for what is yet to come and play a major part in creating a world that we are PROUD to leave to our descendants!
Magick, Witchcra and spirituality saved my life! Prior to making that major decision to change the whole trajectory of my life, there is no way in Heaven or hell that I would have been able to cope with losing my beloved Mama!
Through MY spiritual development, she was also able to find peace, when she was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer last year.
I was blessed to be able to guide her through her end of life and be her best friend, full-time nurse AND her Priestess during those three months.
She also gave me the honor of preparing and o iciating her funeral, which I did.
When her final moments were near, I performed her last rite and then guided her into the A erlife, as promised.
There were tears and heartache aplenty, but I was strong enough to get through it and her passing was as beautiful as death could be.
She was at home, in her own bed, with lovely meditation music playing, candles and oils burning, Daddy and I there with her, holding her hands and just loving her. It was all on her own terms with her only child guiding her transition.
I went to the mortuary to bathe her body and dress her a few days later and also performed a beautiful ritual to free her from any pain and harmful attachments from this lifetime.
With Dad, I wrote a Pagan style funeral that I o iciated myself. It was so personal and touching, that even all the Catholic family and friends said it was the most beautiful funeral they had ever experienced and asked me to do theirs too! Wow!
Again, there is no way I could have done ANY of that without my spiritual devotion and study!
It truly has changed my life in every way!
I am so grateful to my beautiful parents for loving me and supporting me.
I am also grateful to my Goddess Diana, for choosing me as her Priestess and guiding me daily.
There is still so much more work to be done, but I am excited about the future!
If I can leave you with one thing… it only takes one choice to change the whole trajectory of your life! Choose to be positive and to rise! The power has always been inside of you. Claim it and live life on your terms!
If you have experienced any form of trauma yourself and are ready to break free from it, in order to live the life on YOUR terms… get in touch. I would love to help you to heal, step into your power and activate your own Magick!
Me now.
Allisandra Moon is a Priestess, Psychic Healer, Shamanic Witch and Spiritual Coach. Contact her via messenger: www.facebook.com/alissandra.moon If you or someone you know needs help, call: Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636 | DV connect 1800 811 811 National Alcohol and other Drug Hotline 1800 250 015