Is the Internet Ruining Love?

Rianna Mistry

Comment Writer

The internet and social media place a strong burden on all couples, from those new to relationships to those who have been in the same one for years. We are now living in an age where we do not necessarily look to the movies for the expectations we have for our relationships, but instead we turn to the unavoidable and never-ending scrolling through TikTok and Instagram.

As well as the expectations we hold, the way we meet people is changing, with dating apps encouraging superficiality rather than meaningful connection due to their focus on appearance as opposed to personality.

This begs the question: Do the internet and social media have a positive or negative impact on our perception of love and relationships?

Dating Apps: Although it has been announced that more people will meet their partner online than offline by 2035 if current trends continue, studies have also shown that couples who meet on dating apps are 6 times more likely to get divorced within the first three years of marriage than those who meet organically.

I believe that dating apps encourage a certain type of culture – they favour the goodlooking, the athletically fit and the photogenic. With dating apps, your pictures are everything. A split decision is made that can change everything. You can either meet the love of your life or accidentally swipe left on someone you may have formed an amazing connection with, if you had favoured their personality over their looks.

In this regard, the internet does not necessarily ruin our perception of love but can stunt the growth of a relationship before it has even begun.

TikTok: TikTok causes an unavoidable spiral down a certain path – TikToks about relationship expectations lead us to spiral down the rabbit hole of wanting more than what is reasonable.

While I do believe TikTok can perpetuate a sense of selfworth, making people realise what they truly deserve in a relationship, there is a fine line between this and a mild form of indoctrination. There seems to be an idea that if a certain relationship expectation becomes trendy, people feel the need to jump on the bandwagon in order to ensure they have a ‘healthy’ relationship when in reality they are being told what they want.

Tik Tok trends can also be harmful to relationships as they are used for purposes of engagement and entertainment, often misleading viewers and creating expectations that are unreasonable, for example, relationship tests. ‘Red flags’ and ‘the ick’ are also phrases that have become popular on Tik Tok, once again having both positive and negative impacts. For instance, they can be ways to identify factors that can lead to

Social media - Instagram:

Consumerism and social media come hand in hand when it comes to the discussion of the impact of the internet on love and relationships. When we see something on someone else's instagram page, we want it as well, whether this be flowers, holidays or dates.

I think that social media sets false expectations , with people only posting when things are going well, causing those that follow them to feel somewhat inadequate.

Thinking less cynically, however, social media can be a form of expressing affection towards your partner. Studies have shown that 48% of 18- to 29-year-old social media users say social media is important for them in showing how much they care about their partner. In an age of developing technology, social media has become a significant part in not only creating expectations, but also expressing love.

unhealthy relationships, but this can be taken too far as people can pick up on small, seemingly insignificant, factors that lead to the premature ending of a relationship.

We are constantly surrounded by what others are receiving, causing us to often feel like there is something missing. This, however, is not necessarily the case. We are wired to only post the good on Instragram - the peak points in our life, our greatest achievements, only when we are looking our best. This creates a toxic culture that makes people believe their relationships are not good enough, when in reality, we don’t know what goes on behind closed doors.

While the damaging effects of social media on our perception of love and relationships often dominates the narrative, we are often quick to jump to the assumption that the internet is the cause of the problem, rather than just highlighting a problem that was already there. The internet and social media can perpetuate unrealistic expectations, but I believe we can embrace these platforms as a tool to express affection, understand self worth and have fun in a relationship!