10 minute read
TIME TO RETHINK THE SACRAMENTS?
BAPTISM EUCHARIST RECONCILIATION CONFIRMATION MARRIAGE HOLY ORDERS ANOINTING OF THE SICK
EVERY YEAR CHILDREN AND THEIR FAMILIES CELEBRATE FIRST COMMUNION AND CONFIRMATION, YET ONLY A SMALL NUMBER REMAIN CONNECTED WITH THEIR PARISH AFTERWARDS. PERHAPS IT IS TIME TO SHIFT THE FOCUS FROM TEACHING FAITH TO EXPERIENCING IT
Advertisement
BY CHRISTINA MALONE
As I’m writing this it is the beginning of May, and parishes all around Ireland are getting ready for the season of First Holy Communions and Confirmations. It’s no secret that preparation for these celebrations takes up a lot of time and energy in the calendar of schools, parishes and families.
In the preceding months, people in parish ministry often gather the families who are preparing with their children for these sacraments and talk about the ‘three-legged stool’. This image describes how faith is handed on through schools, families and parishes, working together while always remembering that parents are their children’s first teachers. In recent years, that stool has been ‘wobbling’.
Schools are doing their best. Parishes are trying to catch up, and families do everything they can to make sure the day is one to remember. Over the past 20 years I have come across different models and programmes to prepare for the sacraments, from Do This In Memory to Faith Friends, from The Bridge to Called by Name. These programmes have tried to be as inspirational and engaging as possible to reach out to families. And still, experience shows, many won’t return or stay connected after the day of celebration. It is a graduation model of initiation, which raises questions about why children are not returning to us after the sacraments.
We’ve had programme after programme, yet many in church ministry are wondering: why are the nets still empty (Jn 21:6)? In a homily at his installation as bishop of Galway, Bishop Michael Duignan spoke about “threshold moments” for the Irish church. The reality is that the church is going through big changes and the effect, he said, is that the church as we know it is crumbling.
There is clear evidence of this
“crumbling”: lack of vocations, declining Mass attendance, fewer young people or young families actively involved. Every year, there are children in second class presented to be baptised. There are many reasons why parents may not have had their children baptised but the question arises: why now? Parents put a lot of effort into preparing for First Holy Communion, but again, for many, their commitment does not continue beyond the day itself. It sometimes seems as if all the energy is focused on second and sixth class, and that’s it. Many in ministry have witnessed children in Communion classes who don’t know how to make the Sign of the Cross, and Confirmation candidates unable to say the Our Father. Terms like ‘pre-evangelisation’ and ‘lost generation’ are being used to describe the dilemma in which parishes find themselves. Confirmation and First Communion ceremonies are sometimes seen as a ‘performance’. Counting “1…2…3…bow” before stepping into the sanctuary can sound more like a military drill than an experience of faith.
MISSED OPPORTUNITY
Over the past two years of the pandemic, parishes had to adapt the ways they celebrated the sacraments. We know some parishes followed Government guidelines while others made up their own. In some places, the Sacrament of Reconciliation was ‘done’ on a weekday morning (without any parents present) while others postponed it to a later time that has still not arrived. Some parishes filled sports stadiums to celebrate Confirmation. Many realised that celebrating the sacraments in smaller groups is more intimate and works well. I wish we had learnt more – not just that smaller groups work better. I wish the bishops had used the pandemic as an opportunity to ‘pause’ the celebration of the sacraments. It would have been difficult, but not impossible.
Typing this makes me realise how disconnected all of this is from the message of Jesus. At the Last Supper, Jesus said to his friends “Do this in remembrance of me.” He left them with the power of the Holy Spirit to go out and share the Good News. More than 2,000 years later, people are still coming forward to celebrate the sacraments. This is a great sign of hope and merits deeper exploration. Like Jesus said to Simon: “Put out into deep water and let down your nets for a catch” (Luke 5:4).
During parish gatherings to prepare for the sacraments, I sometimes ask those attending if they know the band ABBA. There are always some who have never heard of them. I ask if they know Chris Rea and many stare at me, blankly – but once I mention ‘Driving Home for Christmas’ they start laughing and say of course they know that one song. Moving on, I ask who knows Ed Sheeran and, as you can imagine, everyone puts up their hands. I continue by asking: what can you do to make sure your children will know who Ed Sheeran is in 20 years’ time? The idea is to get them talking. I finish by referring to Jesus – 2,000 years ago the message was first preached by his followers, and it was passed on through the generations to this day. That’s the reason we are here.
EXPERIENTIAL FAITH
Moving forward, the Catholic Church in Ireland must be brave and bold. The focus has to be on experiencing faith, not on teaching it. What do I mean by that? Many church leaders in Ireland would agree that children who go through the Catholic school system are well educated when it comes to religion. The junior and senior curriculums in secondary school are comprehensive. However, the connection between head and heart is often missing. This reminds me of one of my favourite quotes from Karl Rahner: “The Christian of the future will be a mystic or will not exist at all.”
In Jesus’ time, those who
requested baptism or decided to follow him did so because they were in his presence and listened to his words. They experienced his healing. They saw the miracles. They participated in communion and shared in his way of living. Following Jesus’ death, the disciples experienced grief, anger, dissolution, fear and a sense of loss, but the encounter with the Risen Christ changed all that – utterly. They found the courage, wisdom and trust to cast out the net again.
I’d like to suggest that the Irish church throw out the net one more time. It’s time to ask new questions when it comes to preparing for the sacraments. While parishes are quieter over the summer months, maybe the pastoral council, parish team or sacramental team can use the time to reflect on how to respond to the forthcoming requests for the sacraments.
A NEW MODEL
Coaching is one of the fastest growing professions. It is about asking powerful questions and using different ‘tools’ to unlock people’s full potential, and can be adapted for areas such as life coaching, executive coaching or spiritual coaching. One coaching tool is called the GROW model, which stands for Goal, Reality, Options and Will: What do you want? Where are you now? What could you do? What will you do?
As a qualified life coach, I believe the answers we need are already there. If we apply the GROW model to sacramental preparation, our first task is to identify our Goal. Writing the goal will take discernment, prayer, wisdom, and time with
Pope Francis celebrates Confirmation with young people at the Church of St Cyril of Alexandria in Rome
the Holy Spirit. Here are some questions that might help on this journey:
What is it that you as a parish team or pastoral council want to achieve when you think, for example, about the Sacrament of Confirmation? Why are you doing this? What is your motivation? What will your parish look like if you achieve this goal? Crucially, how realistic is your goal?
Once you have a goal, you move on to Reality. Here are some helpful questions about clarifying your parish reality:
How many schools are in your parish area? How many children normally enrol for the sacraments? Who are the ‘stakeholders’? Who shares what kind of responsibly? What has the experience been like in recent years? Cast the net into the deep, and try to find what is at the ‘heart’ of it all.
The third part of the journey is Options. We always have a choice; God has given us free will. The following questions will help explore different ways of moving forward:
What are your options when it comes to achieving your goal? For example, if your goal is to bring families closer to the Eucharist, you could look at the way your parish celebrates the Eucharist. Look at Mass times. How welcoming is your church? How energising and life-giving is the celebration of the Eucharist? If it has lost its relevance, can you breathe new energy into it?
If your goal is to enrich the faith life of parents, you could look at how parents can be helped to develop the ‘domestic church’. Many parents have never been asked to speak about their faith. Could your parish provide a space for them to share their experience? You don’t need a parish centre – you have a church building. Surely Jesus would not mind asking questions in his Father’s house? There is no need to reinvent the wheel; there are many programmes already available. The question parish teams need to focus on is ‘What do we have to offer?’ rather than ‘What do we have to do?’
The final step of the GROW journey is Will, putting these ideas into action. When all is said and done, more is said than done; this can often be the way in church circles. Whatever your goal is, make sure it is SMART –
In Jesus’ time, those who requested baptism or decided to follow him did so because they were in his presence and listened to his words. They experienced his healing. They saw the miracles. They participated in communion and shared in his way of living.
specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. And then, most importantly, do it! Every journey, as we know, starts with the first step.
NEW ENERGY
Every time we start a new academic year, I remind myself that children will be confirmed, make their First Confession and receive their First Holy Communion at the end of the school year. As a parish pastoral worker, my Goal has changed very little over the years, but my Reality, Options and Will have developed. Why? Because, like many others, I have been on the road to Emmaus with the Lord. My eyes were opened, I left behind the old, I experienced and found new energy. My goal has always been this: what can we do between now and the ‘big day’ to bring the church alive for families? How can we create opportunities for the hearts of these families to burn like those of the two disciples on the road to Emmaus?
Jesus was a great coach. He knew how to ask powerful questions. “What are you talking about?” “What do you want?” He challenged everyone by asking “Who do you say I am?”
Keeping in mind that parents will knock at the door in September 2022 to register their children for the sacraments, how will we as parishes respond? Now is the time to discern and to act. To achieve our goals, we might have to break it into steps. But the most important thing is to start.
