DROGHEDA’S MOST FAMOUS

MEMBER OF A WEALTHY DUBLIN FAMILY, VOLUNTEER NURSE IN THE FIRST WORLD WAR , FOUNDRESS OF A CONGREGATION OF MEDICAL MISSIONARIES, MARY MARTIN LEFT HER MARK ON IRELAND AND ESPECIALLY ON THE TOWN OF DROGHEDA.

BY JOHN SCALLY

She remains one of the most iconic names in Drogheda. Marie Martin, better known as Mother Mary Martin, was born in Dublin to a wealthy Catholic merchant family. The eldest girl in a family of twelve children, her domestic bliss was smashed into tiny pieces by the tragic death of her father on St Patrick’s Day in 1907. In 1914, when her brothers Tommy and Charlie, and her boyfriend, Gerald, enlisted for service in World War I, Marie commenced a three-month training course at the Richmond Hospital in Dublin, preparing to nurse wounded soldiers as a member of the Voluntary Aid Detachment (VAD).

NURSE AT THE FRONT Like many brave women before, she sought to bring the faith to a new audience. She sailed for Malta in October 1915 where she was posted

REALITY MARCH 2020 DROGHEDA’S Most Famous Daughter?

to St. George’s Military Hospital. War cast a long shadow over her family. While there, she heard the distressing news that her brother, Charlie, had been wounded and was missing. She invested significant time and energy seeking news of him from comrades who had been with him when he was wounded and hoped against hope that he would turn up on one of the hospital ships.

The following June she was called up for service in France and was there during the infamous Battle of the Somme in 1916. It was then she received the dreaded news that Charlie was dead. Her strategy for coping with her own loss was to transfer her energies into caring for those who were wounded. In the process she acquired considerable experience in nursing young men with gangrene and gas poisoning, and others whose injuries were compounded with skin diseases like scabies and impetigo.

After her 25th birthday, Marie broke the news to her boyfriend that marriage was not on her horizons. Still unsure where this would lead, she trained as a midwife at the National Maternity Hospital, Holles Street, and sailed for Nigeria in 1921.

OFF TO AFRICA Initially she had an understandable naivety about her mission in Nigeria as it took considerable time to appreciate all the nuances of the new culture she encountered. Intuitively she knew her past practices would somehow need to be adapted for an African region. Such inculturation required her to be constantly looking for what was best for the Nigerian context and be attuned to the key skill of modern missionary methods – listening. The only approach that would deliver success was: mind to mind and heart to heart. She quickly learned not just to listen to the words that were used, but tones in which she could distinguish delicacy, independence and compassion. She had a strong sense of the privilege she enjoyed in entering into a people’s culture and to be allowed to see the world through their eyes. Her faith life was enriched by nature which imbued her with humble silence and wordless prayer.

She faced many problems on the road to founding the Medical Missionaries of Mary. Her vision was as clear as a summer’s day: dedicated women were needed, women who would bring health care to places where there was none, and would give particular care to pregnant women, mothers and infants.

She wanted her Sisters to receive the most professional training possible, but the Church at that time did not look favourably at the prospect of women religious practising surgery or obstetrics. It took a lot of

Most Famous Daughter?

careful diplomacy to convince the authorities of the great needs and of the rightness of her vision.

Then when all the bureaucratic obstacles were cleared, she faced a more personal challenge. When she finally got the green light to establish the Medical Missionaries of Mary, she fell ill herself, and was believed to be on her death-bed when she made her vows in 1937 in a Government Hospital in Nigeria. She was sent home and ordered by her doctor never to set foot in Africa again.

DROGHEDA She established the first Novitiate at Collon in 1938. In 1939 she was invited to Drogheda to take over the maternity home at Beechgrove. Despite ‘the Emergency’, otherwise known as World War II, she oversaw extensions in 1942 and again in 1946. Moreover, during those years she was building a convent and training centre for her growing community of Sisters.

On Shrove Tuesday 1952, fire destroyed the convent. The Drogheda Fire Brigade were assisted by units from Navan and Dundalk as well as a section of the Dublin Fire Brigade and a unit from the Army before bringing it under control. They saved much of the building but left 136 young Sisters homeless. Despite this reversal of fortune, Mother Mary was not deflected from her plan to build a hospital for the people of Drogheda, and at the same time a place where missionaries could be trained for service in the most remote places on earth. She declined an invitation from the Minister for Health to take over a hospital at Carlow, preferring to stick to her plans for Drogheda.

On June 6, 1966, she became the first woman to receive the Freedom of the Borough of Drogheda in recognition of: "the wonderful work, self-sacrifice, and devotion of Mother Mary Martin, an unassuming lady whom the Drogheda people have come to know and love".

That same year she received the Royal College of Surgeons in Ireland’s first honorary fellowship awarded to a woman, "in recognition of her singular achievements in the field of medical missions and to the lustre she has added to Irish medicine in many parts of the world".

Her final illness began in 1968, and for the following seven years she was a patient at the hospital in Drogheda. The former president Eamon de Valera visited her to pay his respects.

MISSION CONTINUES Her shroud of suffering was painful, but she was determined to replace it with the translucent beauty of the Lord who rose from the tomb on Easter Sunday. She lived through what Emily Dickinson refers to as ‘The Hour of Lead’ – a process of mourning that results in a final relinquishing, and an essential thaw. The message of the Christian story led her to accept disappointment and loss but she never lost hope. Storms make the oak grow deeper roots. The Rule of Saint Benedict the ancient guide to the monastic life, includes the exhortation to "keep death before one’s eyes daily". To some that may sound morbid but to Marie Martin in times of suffering it was a reminder that she came into this world without fear and that her passing allowed her to return without fear as well, crossing over knowing that union with God would be her first and final home.

After her death in 1975 more than 4,000 people signed the books of condolence. She was described as "one of the outstanding Irishwomen of our time" in a tribute by the then Taoiseach, Mr Liam Cosgrave. In his tribute, the Taoiseach said: "Mother Mary Martin's achievements in her profession, her triumph over ill health, to found the Order which will always be associated with her name, and the widespread international recognition which was accorded to her, mark her out as one of the outstanding Irish women of our times. Her concern for the sick, the deprived and the underprivileged of the third world was in advance of her time and a guideline for governments and social agencies in later years. I would like to

29 tender my very sincere sympathy to the relatives and community of the late Mother Mary Martin."

Cardinal Conway described her as a woman of remarkable foresight and intelligence, as well as being a profoundly spiritual person. "Decades before the Second Vatican Council she had insights into the apostolate of religious, which were later to be fully justified and confirmed. May God rest her noble soul," the cardinal added.

Today her Sisters work in Angola, Brazil, Ethiopia, Honduras, Kenya, Malawi, Nigeria, Republic of Benin, Rwanda, Tanzania, and Uganda. With Mary as their model, their special concern is the care of mother and child and the fostering of family life. These sisters have commited themselves to lives of fidelity to God and each other. The mission of Jesus was that of Mother Mary: those who suffer must experience solidarity and compassion; our ravaged planet must find us working with everyone of goodwill to restore it to health.

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THE RESPONSIBILITY TO DO SOMETHING

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU REALISE THAT THE MARRIAGE OF YOUR SON OR DAUGHTER, BROTHER OR SISTER, IS IN DEEP TROUBLE?

Marriage breakdown is a tragedy that causes untold distress. It affects not just the couple and their children, but grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends. The divorce rate in Ireland is the lowest in Europe but the numbers may surprise you. The CSO figures for 2016 showed that 103,895 people were divorced and 118,175 couples separated.

When parents fight it changes the atmosphere in the home, affects children and creates problems for the extended family. Children do not understand why mum and dad fight. They feel frightened if their angry parents scream and shout at each other. They will blame themselves for contributing to their parents' problems.

It’s heart-breaking for family members to see the unhappiness caused by the constant bickering between a couple they love. It’s even more painful when they have concerns about the wellbeing of children. People often don’t know what they should do. They defer having the difficult conversation for very good reasons: "I’m waiting for the right opportunity to present itself" or "I don’t want to be seen to be interfering."

In a family crisis it takes courage to be the person who speaks out and has the difficult conversation. Let’s say everyone in a family knows that Archie is having an affair. His wife Aoife seems to be the only person who doesn’t know. Family members agree that it’s not fair to leave her in the dark. She needs to be told but there is much discussion and little agreement on who will be the one to reveal that her husband is unfaithful.

Take another example. Grandparents Joe and Vera worry that their son John and his wife Mary are having serious marital problems. The couple's relationship is in trouble, probably heading for divorce, but they think it’s wiser not to intervene. Mary is likeable, fun to be around, the life and soul of every party. She is also a perfectionist and controlling. Everything must be done to her standards. When it’s not she gets very angry. On a couple of occasions Vera’s instinct was to intervene when Mary was so enraged that she made a scene, shouting and screaming abuse at the children.

Joe said he was confident that Mary would not hit the children and it was not their business. Their grandchildren were far from perfect and probably needed to be checked by their mother. He wasn’t surprised that Mary made a scene because she is a drama queen. He suggested that the contrast in different parenting styles was probably good for the children.

row. It felt like she wanted her to hear the litany of blame, complaints and grievances against John that she spewed out, with her as the audience. She genuinely believed that Mary’s focus was on hurting and humiliating John. Maybe John and Mary needed a wakeup call; someone should have a conversation about the extended family’s concerns.

Their mum was volatile and loud, their dad was calm but stern and they paid more attention to him. Joe thought Vera needed a more positive attitude. His support helped her feel better about deferring what would be a difficult conversation. In her heart of hearts she felt that positive thoughts could never blind her to the pain, the heartbreak, the sadness that she saw in the grandchildren. Something needed to be done to protect them but she genuinely felt anyone else would do it better than her.

John’s sister worried about the tension in her brother’s home. Her nephew Ritchie told her that sometimes when his mum was upset and was fighting with his dad their rows could last for up to an hour. Ritchie was very angry that his father allowed his mother to walk all over him. He complained, "He just stands there and does nothing." She had witnessed her brother and sister-in-law fight and was shocked at how obnoxious and rude Mary sounded. Mary didn’t seem to care that she was there to witness the

31 Many families are in similar situations. They are concerned for children because the family atmosphere is toxic. Mum has angry meltdowns. Dad is having an affair. The children are acting out because the parental conflict. If dad spends more time at work, the children get the brunt of mum’s frustration. Couples can be so focused on their own unhappiness that they are blind to the dysfunction. Parental conflict, maternal anger, drug abuse, emotional withdrawal, an affair are issues that affect children. Marital conflict has an impact on children, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and everyone who loves the parents and children. Extended family members who see the misery of unhappy children living in a toxic home have a huge responsibility for the young people. What they decide to do, or not do, will affect the happiness and future wellbeing of the children. We all know that bad things happen when good people do nothing.