Reality November 2022

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IN THIS MONTH’S ISSUE

FEATURES

�� NOVEMBER TO REMEMBER

November is a time to remember our beloved dead and is marked in special ways in parishes throughout the country

By Ann Marie Foley

18 THINKING IT THROUGH

The question of gender identity

By Aoife McGrath and Raphael Gallagher CSsR

20 SOME EXPERIENCES OF SIERRA LEONE

What volunteering in Africa taught me about the Catholic Church

By Mary Rose McCarthy

22 FIGHTING GENDER VIOLENCE

It is in the shelter of each other that we find life

By Noirin Lynch

26 THE ROAD TO A SYNODAL CHURCH

With the synodal process well underway, a UK-based diocesan facilitator reflects on the journey so far

By Sarah Adams

30 GIANTS OF MEN

A new Limerick sculpture pays tribute to native sons Frs Aengus and Jack Finucane

By Colm Meaney CSsR

32 LETTER FROM THE PHILIPPINES

A far-flung diaspora

By Colm Meaney CSsR

34 THE SOUNDTRACK SERIES

Lady Gaga’s Fearless Faith

By Michael Sherman

36 IN PRAISE OF TALKING IN CHURCH

The greatest scandal is not the number of people who chat in church before or after Mass but the number who don’t

By Salvador Ryan

40 CELEBRATING ALL SAINTS AND ALL SOULS

By Maria Hall

REALITY BITES

FIFTY YEARS OF LIMERICK’S CHRISTMAS HAMPER APPEAL

In 1972, Limerick-based Redemptorist Fr Vincent Kavanagh started the Redemptorist Christmas Appeal. His successor, Fr. Gerry Daly directed the Appeal for many years.

The Redemptorists – with the support of generous benefactors, dedicated volunteers, and a network of partner organisations –estimate that we have distributed 300,000 Christmas Hampers over the past 50 years.

At Christmas 2021, we distributed 6,000 hampers across Limerick city and county at the cost of €187,000. We spent an additional €90,000 supporting food poverty initiatives. The Central Statistics Office estimates that eight percent of people in the Limerick area

experience food poverty. Children go to school hungry. People go to bed hungry. Many older people have to choose between having lunch or lighting a fire.

We expect the need for Christmas Hampers to increase this year because of the cost of living crisis. The cost of purchasing food for the hampers will also increase.

Donations can be sent to Fr Seamus Enright, CSsR, Mount St Alphonsus, South Circular Road, Limerick. It is also possible to donate online at www.redshampers.ie

We thank everyone who has supported us so generously in the past. Seamus Enright, C.Ss.R.

MEXICO CITY

NICARAGUA PRESIDENT CALLS CHURCH A DICTATORSHIP, BISHOPS ‘MURDERERS’

Nicaraguan President Daniel Ortega blasted Catholic leaders as a “gang of murderers” in comments amping up persecution of the

church and scorning Pope Francis’ call for dialogue in the Central American country.

In a fiery address, Ortega took aim at Nicaragua’s Catholic bishops for promoting democracy as an exit from the country’s political crisis, alleging without proof that they called on protesters to kill him during the 2018 protests — which his regime violently repressed.

He called the bishops and Pope Francis “the perfect dictatorship,” then asked, accusatorially, “Who elected the bishops, the pope, the cardinals?”

He continued in the 28 September speech marking the 43rd anniversary of the National Police: “With what moral authority do they speak of democracy? Let them start with the Catholic vote. … Everything is imposed. It’s a dictatorship, the perfect dictatorship. It’s a tyranny, the perfect tyranny.”

Catholic clergy in Nicaragua have remained

mostly silent as Ortega — who won elections in 2021 after disqualifying and imprisoning opposition candidates — has persecuted priests and bishops speaking out on human rights issues and democratic deterioration. The government has also closed church-run charitable and education initiatives, Catholic radio stations, and expelled priests and nuns, including the Missionaries of Charity. Ortega claimed that he is Catholic but did not feel “represented,” partly because “We hear talk of democracy, and they don’t practice democracy.”

The comments come as Bishop Rolando Álvarez of Matagalpa remains under house arrest after being taken by force from the diocesan curia on 19 August. The priests arrested with him in the pre-dawn raid are still being held in the notorious El Chipote prison, where the regime keeps its political prisoners.

ROME

GERMANY’S SYNODAL PATH CONTINUES TO DRAW ATTENTION IN ROME

German Synodal Assembly.

And while some of the assembly’s proposed changes sound radical to some people — with the harshest critics even warning that the Synodal Path could lead to schism — KreuterKirchhof said, “We are members of the Roman Catholic Church, and we will stay members of the Roman Catholic Church.”

Kreuter-Kirchhof, a professor of law and member of the Vatican Council for the Economy, spoke about the Synodal Path at a conference at the German Embassy to the Holy See.

study identified as containing the “systemic causes” of sexual abuse and its cover-up: the exercise of power in the church; sexual morality; priestly existence; and the role of women in the church.

“Abuse has brought endless suffering to the victims,” Kreuter-Kirchhof said, and “the church has lost an infinite amount of trust.”

Some 360,000 people officially left the church in Germany in 2021, and the number seems set to be even higher for 2022, she said.

“The only way out is to address the systemic causes” of abuse, she said.

German Catholics involved in the Synodal Path are convinced the church must address the “systemic causes” of the clerical sexual abuse scandal, and that will require change, said Charlotte Kreuter-Kirchhof, a member of the

In the wake of the clerical abuse scandal and the release of a major study of its causes, the German bishops’ conference and the Central Committee of German Catholics launched the Synodal Path in 2019. The process began with forums to discuss issues in the four areas the

The German bishops are scheduled to make their “ad limina” visits to the Vatican from Nov. 14-19, and addressing questions and doubts about the Synodal Path is expected to be a major topic.

BISHOPS IN BELGIUM AUTHORISE PRAYER FOR COMMITTED GAY COUPLES BRUSSELS

The Flemish-speaking bishops of Belgium have appointed a contact person for ministry to and with gay Catholics and have authorised prayer for committed gay couples on the condition it is clear that it is not equivalent to a wedding blessing.

The document, “Being pastorally close to homosexual persons: For a welcoming church that excludes no one,” was dated 20 September and posted on the website of the Belgian bishops.

The document concludes with a sample “Prayer for love and faithfulness.”

“During pastoral meetings,” the bishops said, “the request is often made for a moment of prayer to ask that God bless and make endure

their commitment of love and fidelity.”

The “concrete content and form” of the prayer “is best discussed by those involved and a pastoral leader,” the bishops said. The prayer should take place “in all simplicity,” and “the difference should remain clear between that and what the church understands by a sacramental marriage.”

The document’s sample “moment of prayer” includes a Scripture reading and words by the couple expressing their desire for God to strengthen their union and help them be always faithful to each other.

It also includes the possibility of a “prayer of the community” that “God’s grace may work in them to care for each another and

for the broader community in which they live” and would end with a blessing, although the document did not specify whether it was a general blessing for everyone present or a blessing of the couple.

‘HEART-BREAKING’: IRISH PRIEST SAYS PAKISTAN FLOODING STILL CRITICAL

An Irish missionary priest in Pakistan has said the “sheer scale” of the flooding disaster is “hard to comprehend” and “the misery of people, camped on the side of the road with their meager belongings, is heart-breaking to see.”

Columban Father Liam O’Callaghan said there was “an urgent need for relief aid,” and he appealed to Catholics worldwide to respond.

“The reality is shocking. The infrastructure — like roads, bridges, rail lines, schools, health centers — is so damaged. Where do you start? It will take years to repair,” he said via Zoom

from the Columban-run parish of St. Thomas the Apostle in Badin, a rural city in the Diocese of Hyderabad in Sindh province.

The Pakistani government has declared a national emergency. More than 1,100 people died, and many more were injured in the flooding caused by this year’s significantly heavier monsoon rains, which deluged the South Asian country over a two-month period. More than 220,000 houses were destroyed, and another 500,000 were damaged.

Aid agencies are finding it difficult to get into the areas where relief is most needed due to

NEW REDEMPTORIST SUPERIOR GENERAL

A new superior general of the Redemptorists was elected at the congregation’s general chapter in Rome in September. Fr Rogério Gomes was born on 7 October 1974 in Minas Gerais, Brazil. He made his first profession as a Redemptorist in 2002 and was ordained a priest in 2006.

In 2007, he was sent to Rome to study

moral theology, after which he taught moral theology in São Paulo, Brazil.

In 2013, he was appointed professor at the Alphonsian Academy in Rome. In 2014 he was elected Provincial Superior of the Province of São Paulo and soon after as the President of the Union of the Redemptorists of Brazil.

In 2016, at the 25th General Chapter in

the damage caused to hundreds of bridges and thousands of miles of road. The economic losses are estimated to be over $10 billion.

Father O’Callaghan, who has been working in Pakistan since 1998, said that while the whole country has been suffering, Sindh and Balochistan provinces, in the south and southwest, have been the worst affected by the floods.

In this year’s monsoon season, the country experienced nearly 190 percent more rain than the 30-year average, with Sindh province getting 466 percent more rain than the average.

ROME

Thailand, he was elected General Consultor from the Conference of the Redemptorists of Latin America and the Caribbean.

On 27 September 2022, the anniversary of the birth of St Alphonsus de Liguori, Fr Gomes was elected as the 18th Superior General of the Congregation of the Most Holy Redeemer. He will serve a six-year term.

POPE TELLS PUTIN: STOP THE WAR

With “rivers of blood and tears” still flowing in Ukraine and with the increasing threat of the use of nuclear weapons, Pope Francis begged Russian President Vladimir Putin: “Stop this spiral of violence and death.”

With the situation being “so serious, devastating and threatening,” the pope did not offer his customary commentary on the day’s Gospel reading before reciting the Angelus prayer on 2 October. Instead, he focused on the war and the “terrible and

inconceivable wound” it is inflicting on humanity.

While constantly calling for peace and offering prayers for the victims since the war began in late February, the pope drew attention in his talk to “the serious situation that has arisen in recent days with further actions contrary to the principles of international law,” a clear reference to Putin’s announcement that Russia was annexing four occupied territories in Ukraine.

The decision, the pope told people in St Peter’s Square, “increases the risk of nuclear escalation to the point of fears of uncontrollable and catastrophic consequences worldwide.”

“My appeal is addressed first of all to the president of the Russian Federation, begging him to stop this spiral of violence and death, also for the sake of his people,” the pope said.

IS THE MOST FAITHFUL FRIEND A PERSON CAN HAVE, POPE SAYS

Jesus never abandons, coerces, or blackmails anyone when they stray, rather, he patiently waits and is “our greatest and most faithful friend,” Pope Francis has said.

“He remains at the door of the heart. We say, ‘No, I do not want to know anything about you.’ And he remains silent, he remains there within reach, within heart’s reach because he is always faithful,” the pope said.

“It is a grace we must ask for one another: to see Jesus as our greatest and most faithful friend, who does not blackmail, above all who never abandons us, even when we turn away

from him,” the pope said on 28 September at his weekly general audience in St Peter’s Square. Continuing his series of talks about discernment, the pope said it is an important process for trying to understand “what is happening inside of us, our feelings and ideas, and we have to discern where (these things) come from, where they are taking me and what decision” needs to be made, he said. He said that prayer is an indispensable part of this process, which requires being somewhere that fosters a prayerful, reflective moment and developing a close, simple and

loving familiarity with Jesus.

Prayer allows people to speak to God “as one would speak to a friend,” going beyond the words and entering into “intimacy with the Lord, with an affectionate spontaneity,” the pope said.

An ever-growing “familiarity and confidence with God” makes it easier, he said, to recognise what is pleasing to God and helps people overcome any “fear or doubt that his will is not for our good, a temptation that sometimes runs through our thoughts and makes the heart restless and uncertain and even bitter.”

BLESSED JOHN PAUL I, ‘THE SMILING POPE,’ SHOWED GOD’S GOODNESS, POPE SAYS

Beatifying Blessed John Paul I, Pope Francis praised the late pope for showing the world God’s goodness and for living the Gospel without compromise.

“Our new blessed lived that way: in the joy of the Gospel, without compromises, loving to the very end,” the pope said.

“He embodied the poverty of the disciple, which is not only detachment from material goods, but also victory over the temptation to put oneself at the centre, to seek one’s own glory” as he followed the example of Jesus and was “a meek and humble pastor,” he said.

The pope spoke during a homily in St Peter’s

Square at a 4 September Mass attended by an estimated 25,000 people under dark skies and rain, with an occasional roll of thunder and clap of lightning.

“With a smile, Pope John Paul communicated the Lord’s goodness. How beautiful is a church with a happy, serene and smiling face, a church that never closes doors, never hardens hearts, never complains or harbours resentment, does not grow angry or impatient, does not look dour or suffer nostalgia for the past,” the pope said.

“Let us pray to him, our father and our brother, and ask him to obtain for us ‘the smile

of the soul’” that is “transparent, that does not deceive,” Pope Francis said. “Let us pray, in his own words, ‘Lord, take me as I am, with my defects, with my shortcomings, but make me become what you want me to be.’”

During the beatification ceremony, an image of the new blessed was unveiled on a huge tapestry affixed to the facade of the basilica. The image was a reproduction of an oil painting, “The Smiling Pope,” created by Zhang Yan, a Chinese artist whose work combines Eastern and Western painting techniques.

JESUS

SAINTS IN THE CELTIC TRADITION

ALL THE SAINTS OF IRELAND 6 NOVEMBER

The celebration of All the Saints of Ireland is founded on the Communion of Saints, as are the feasts of All Saints and All Souls earlier in the month. Together these three feasts offer a new perspective wherein human affairs are lit up by the world of the Life, Death, and Resurrection of Jesus Christ. It was from this perspective that the second-century priest Clement of Alexandria could cry out, ‘All of this life is a Holy Festival.’

Dare I say it, but November is a wonderful time of year. Living in that atmosphere of ‘night and light and the half light’ evokes memories and fires the imagination. Yeats knew it; so did his artistic brother Jack. Our pre-Christian Celtic ancestors knew it, too, for it was in the ‘night and light and the half light’ they celebrated Samhain, envisioning a sort of ‘afterlife,’ albeit a mythological one; and in this bi-cosmic or two-world mindset lived their lives.

The world of the Resurrection is wonderfully envisaged in the New Testament letter to the Hebrews: ‘What you have come to is Mount Zion and the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem where the millions of angels have gathered for the festival with the whole church in which everybody is a first-born child and a citizen of heaven.’ (Heb 12.22-24) This eternal life with Christ is celebrated on the feast of All Saints, 1 November.

Although Samhain is secularised in modern Ireland, the feast of All the Irish Saints on 6 November provides an opportunity to ponder on the rich Catholic tradition in which it evolved and developed. Peeking through the ‘night and light and the half light’ of our faith experiences, we cannot help but observe the holiness, the goodness, and the godliness of people whom we have known and perhaps taken for granted. There are few amongst us who will not confess to having had the best mother or father in the world. Behind their human frailties, we acknowledge their holiness, the godliness that shines through a mother or father who will sit through the night with a sick child and have a cheery greeting for the neighbour or workmate in the morning.

Among these Irish saints whom we have known and loved, there is the neighbour who could share their loaf of bread in hard times, the peacemaker exuding tranquillity, the kindly aunt or the invisible uncle of few words who made sure that the hospital bill was not overlooked. Ubi caritas Deus ibi est – where love is, there is God. And still their descendants carry the cross in faith as they trudge this earthly Camino. Rome may never acknowledge them i measc na naomh (among the saints), but one greater than Rome is here.

Through the ‘night and light and the half light’ they see the larger picture and keep their eyes fixed ‘on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame.’ (Heb 12:2).

Volume 88. No. 9 November 2022

A Redemptorist Publication

ISSN 0034-0960

Published by The Irish Redemptorists, St Joseph's Monastery, St Alphonsus Road, Dundalk County Louth A91 F3FC

Tel: 00353 (0)1 4922488

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REFLECTIONS

God is in everyone’s life. Even if the life of a person has been a disaster, even if it is destroyed by vices, drugs or anything else—God is in this person’s life. You can, you must try to seek God in every human life. Although the life of a person is a land full of thorns and weeds, there is always a space in which the good seed can grow. You have to trust God.

POPE FRANCIS

A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination.

NELSON MANDELA

Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON

If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.

ABRAHAM MASLOW

As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round.

BEN HOGAN

Wise sayings often fall on barren ground, but a kind word is never thrown away.

ARTHUR HELPS

I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

Whatever you are, be a good one.

ABRAHAM LINCOLN

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

JOAN RIVERS

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.

RICHARD LEWIS

If you read history you will find that the Christians who did most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next. It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this.

C. S. LEWIS

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

WINSTON CHURCHILL

We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry.

NORMAN WISDOM

Never reach out your hand unless you’re willing to extend an arm.

POPE PAUL VI

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.

JOHNNY CARSON

Who is wise in love, love most, say least.

ALFRED LORD TENNYSON

Every silver lining has a cloud.

MARY KAY ASH

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THE CHURCH I LONG TO SEE

Itis now less than a year to the synod in Rome for which the universal church has been preparing. Local churches worldwide have been submitting their reports. As always, Catholics in some countries have been more enthusiastic and engaged than others. Much has depended on local episcopal leadership. Where there has been opposition to Pope Francis’ vision or a reluctance to implement it, enthusiasm for the synod has been distinctly lacking. Thankfully, the Irish church has responded most favourably to the synodal process. Indeed, reports suggest the proposals submitted by the Irish and German churches have been among the most radical and reform-minded. Clearly, the trauma Irish Catholics experienced over the last three decades has shaped their outlook. We demand change. We want a re-invigorated church. We crave greater accountability, transparency, and openness. We long for a church where baptism is as important as holy orders, an inverted pyramid model where the People of God have a real and meaningful say. We desire a more inclusive church, a field hospital that welcomes all and soothes their wounds, rather than a smaller, purer church that is happy to exclude those it sees as not quite one of us.

As preparations continue for the Roman phase of the synod, each of us has our hopes for its outcome, for what should appear in the final document.

Here are my ten wishes for the church.

1. That the synod will examine any structures, laws, or traditions which hinder rather than facilitate the church’s mission to proclaim the Good News. Our world needs to hear the Gospel message as urgently as ever in the last 2,000 years. Nothing man-made should be allowed to stand in the way of this overriding task.

2. That the church will be experienced as truly the People of God. The church teaches that it is comprised of all the baptised, but many Catholics do not experience this to be the case, as they have made clear during the synodal process. They see it as an elite club for celibate male clerics, who seem intent on preserving the medieval structures of the institution.

3. That the church will recognise and use the gifts and talents of women to build up its life and ministry. Women must be given true ownership of the church, of which they make up more than 50 percent, and be allowed genuine and meaningful involvement.

4. That Catholics will be given a say in choosing their leaders at local and diocesan levels. Bishops should not be foisted on people and priests as a result of some secret Roman process based on hidden criteria. The selection process must be open and transparent, allowing an opportunity for the input of all.

5. That the mandatory celibacy rule, which places such a huge burden on many priests and restricts the number of vocations, will be lifted.

6. That the church at every level will identify with and not be afraid to speak out on behalf of the weakest and most vulnerable in society, as Pope Francis insists. The church must not only be prophetic; it must be seen to be prophetic. That prophetic voice is needed, especially in these challenging economic times.

7. That the LGBTIQ+ community, many of whom feel alienated from organised religion, will feel more welcome in the family of church.

8. That a solution will be found to ensure that church members can celebrate the Eucharist regularly. It is not right that Catholics should

be denied access to the sacraments due to a shortage of celibate male clerics. The sacraments are more important than any man-made laws.

9. That the Gospel of Jesus Christ will be proclaimed and heard as Good News. Too often, in the church’s teaching and preaching, people do not hear God’s word as good news. They hear it as something that enslaves rather than liberates, as a series of forbidding rules and regulations (especially around sex) rather than as a truly joyful and life-giving message.

10. That priests and religious who have left the ministry will be invited to return to it if they so wish, thus enriching the church with the wealth of their gifts, talents, and experiences.

PS This is the penultimate issue of our magazine. We wish to thank all of our loyal readers for your support. It is with sadness that we have to cease publication with our next issue. Be assured, you will always be in our prayers.

Gerard Molonry CSsR Acting Editor

NOVEMBER TO REMEMBER

NOVEMBER IS A TIME TO REMEMBER OUR BELOVED DEAD AND IS MARKED IN SPECIAL WAYS IN PARISHES THROUGHOUT THE COUNTRY

BY ANN MARIE FOLEY

November in the Catholic Church is the month of the Holy Souls when we remember and pray for the faithful departed. It comes at the end of the church’s liturgical year and is also linked to Halloween or Samhain, when there is a thinning of the veil between the worlds of the living and the dead. Above all, during this month, we draw closer to our deceased loved ones, whether through prayer in church, in graveyard visits, or in other ways.

According to Fr Sean Hyland, curate in Rhode and Clonbullogue parishes, Co Offaly,

November prayers for the dead are among the most “fully attended and sincerely attended” liturgies of the year.

“Funerals are well attended and well regarded, and after that comes remembrance,” he says.

Fr Hyland was a late vocation, having been ordained to the priesthood in his 60s. He turned to his faith after the death of his wife, Liz. They had experienced what he calls “great happiness but also terrible sadness together,” as they lost their daughter Seana when she was two and their little boy, Kieran, when he

was ten months old. While their deaths were unrelated, Liz and Sean could not face losing another child and remained childless from their late twenties. (See panel)

CELEBRATIONS OF REMEMBRANCE

Fr Hyland highlights indulgences and how the church urges all to remember the faithful departed with special prayers and by visiting the church or graveyard. Some parishes have a tree of remembrance, where people tie a tag (often in the shape of a leaf) with the name of their loved one or participate in a similar

FR HYLAND’S JOURNEY

Fr Sean Hyland tells his story of loss and grief following the death of his young children and his wife in his book Whisperings of My Soul, published in 2018. After his little boy and baby girl died when he and his wife were still in their twenties, Fr Sean says he was “dark, questioning and furious that God could do this to us.” He felt a great sense of injustice and threw himself into his work with Hewlett Packard. He says his wife, Liz, “bore the loss of our children with grace, serenity, and great faith. She knew Seana and Kieran were in heaven and never doubted it.”

He continued to go to Mass for her sake, and they often said that as long as they had each other, they would be able to deal with life. However, Liz became ill and died of kidney cancer in 2008.

“In desperation, I turned to Our Lady and Jesus and begged them for help. Through God’s grace, I was granted gifts of beautiful consolations of faith, instances where Liz, Seana, and Kieran were able to reach me and let me know they are safe and watching over me. Some of these divine gifts were locutions or private revelations. Some of them came from third parties,” he says.

Soon he did not doubt eternal life and love, and in thanksgiving, he vowed to devote his life to God and good works. He thought of volunteering for the St Vincent de Paul society or Meals on Wheels but was struck by the story of a mature student at St Patrick’s College, Maynooth.

symbolic liturgy. Other prayers and liturgies involve putting the names of the departed on cards or a list which is then placed on the altar for November. These names are brought to mind and remembered at Mass every day.

“Probably the most poignant (liturgy) is the mass for those who have died in the previous year,” Fr Hyland says. A family member brings up a lighted candle to place on or near the altar, usually in the shape of a crucifix.

“We see it as a source of solace and support. That first year is a very poignant one and likewise throughout the year at birthdays

After studying for the priesthood in Rome, Sean was ordained in his hometown of Portarlington in July 2014. A year later, he wrote his book, which he hoped would bring comfort to people who are troubled and grieving - like he once was. He often speaks of how close those who have died are to us.

The self-published book was taken up by Veritas. After its publication, Fr Hyland appeared on local and national media, including Joe Duffy’s Liveline radio programme and Ryan Tubridy’s Late Late Show.

and wedding anniversaries,” Fr Hyland says. “To bring up a candle with the (deceased) person’s name on it is very significant psychologically and helps us feel very close to a loved one.”

At Knock National Shrine, there are smaller parish and larger national liturgies in November and throughout the year. People attend from all over Ireland and beyond.

Professional counselling also has been available since soon after Msgr Horan’s time. It is for people who “need a bit of extra help,” according to Knock parish priest, Fr Richard Gibbons.

In November, there is the annual memorial Mass and prayers in the graveyard for deceased parishioners. The basilica has a mini vigil for the holy souls.

Also, two National Memorial Masses have been celebrated in the basilica for those who died from Covid-19. In 2021 the country’s bishops were present for that Mass. Another national memorial Mass will take place at Knock this November. Details are on the shrine website.

In Knock, online participation became the norm when the pandemic closed churches.

“Online, we have huge numbers

of people joining every day,” says Fr Gibbons. He expects the same this first November since the basilica reopened.

Fr Gibbons says the November services and prayers are well attended because death affects us all. “Everyone has someone close to them who has died. In November, people are willing to come out for a Mass, a mini-vigil, or just to come together. We have our blessing of the cemetery here in Knock. I think because we are dealing with death and the loss of a loved one, it is very raw for a lot of people, even after many years,” he says.

IMPORTANCE OF LISTENING

Meeting a bereaved person above all involves listening and letting them speak.

“They might be angry; they might be angry with God. You help them to let it out. If you are the conduit in dealing with that - and that is fine,” says Fr Gibbons. “Very rarely do you come in with a whole load of advice. You have to let them cry, to express it themselves. More than likely, they just need somebody outside the family unit to speak to, somebody who may understand what they are going through. At the end, I find

that a simple prayer may help them enormously.”

Monica Morley, who is the Director of the Family Centre at Knock Shrine and a radio presenter, is also involved in bereavement care and support in Knock. She and the team hold weekly and monthly group meetings and larger gatherings several times a year.

She meets people with extraordinary losses, like the death of a young spouse or child. They can be traumatised and find great support through listening to others in a similar situation.

Some participants in the support groups have experienced death through illness, accident, or suicide. A sudden death is lifechanging because it may mean losing a parent of one’s children, and the grieving spouse may also lose their identity.

“It is a life-changing event that nobody can understand unless you have been in that situation,” says Monica. “While we do funerals very well in Ireland, once the month’s mind is over, people say they should be getting on with life. The bereaved find that extremely difficult, as the whole experience literally changes the direction of their lives.”

People come from long distances to Knock because they want to be anonymous. They continue to participate up to two years after a loved one’s death, and if there is a triggering episode in their lives, they may return. There is also one-to-one counselling for individuals who do not want to be in a group.

DIFFICULT DATES

In November, there is a special

Mass for parents who have lost children, and up to 400 people attend. That said, members of the small group tell Monica that November is not any more difficult than March or April when grieving. They report that anniversary months are particularly painful, like a wedding anniversary or a birthday. Going through these

events or Christmas is difficult, but that first year they are still in deep mourning, and it can hit harder in the second year.

“They all tend to say year two is more difficult than year one. So we try in year two to have special remembrance reflections and Masses,” Monica says. One event involves bereaved people attending a service with pictures

of their deceased loved ones and visiting the remembrance garden. They leave bulbs to be planted, which are often in bloom on their next visit.

THE GOD QUESTION

Even though held in Knock, many remembrance events do not include prayer. Some group participants are not Catholic,

and others may feel angry at God due to grief and loss.

“Some would be hostile because this was allowed to happen in their lives. So we always work on the assumption that they will bring us to God if they need to go there, and if not, we don’t go there,” Monica says.

She also helps organise talks on topics like how to journey through grief and loss. She meets many older women who lost children at a time when it wasn’t spoken about. They carry their pain silently all their lives. When they visit Knock, they talk about it, and even though they may be more religious than many younger people, they still question why.

“It is the God question. I have learned that you can never assume that because something happened long ago, it has healed,” Monica says.

Missionary of the Sacred Heart, Fr John Fitzgerald, MSC, is also aware of older mothers among those drawn to visit graveyards and places (outside the walls) where children and babies were buried. Some visit a loved one’s grave, but the gravestone can include the names not only of grandparents or aunts but also of stillborn children or those who died young.

LITTLE RITUALS

Fr Fitzgerald recalls being in graveyard miles from any town but seeing at least eight people visit in three-quarters of an hour.

“There are little rituals that you’ll always see,” he says. “Some just pass by; some look at the grave, some touch it. Even when grieving, to do something afterward, like organising a headstone, is part of it.”

The Missionaries of the Sacred Heart celebrate a Light up a Memory Mass each November. Even before the pandemic, the Mass was available online so people from all over Ireland and beyond could participate.

“It is a very special night,” Fr FitzGerald says. “There is a certain delicacy because people have lost loved ones years ago and yet are still revisiting at that time of the year. They are revisiting their past relationship; they are revisiting their mourning. Sometimes they have to put mourning on the shelf, as it were,

but then revisit it. Some are lately bereaved, so it is very raw. There are always some people who are alone, or somebody is missing from their house, their bed, their lives. Because of the passing on of that person, they are trying to deal with all that.”

The Missionaries of the Sacred Heart celebrate a novena for the holy souls, which involves sending in the names of deceased persons from all over the country. In these Masses and prayer services, they remember departed young people and children; they acknowledge those who died by their own hand, or in accidents on farms, roads, and elsewhere.

The Missionaries of the Sacred Heart also have in-house Masses for their own deceased priests and brothers and invite their families to participate. They include priests and brothers from so far back that no living members of the MSC community can remember them. Likewise, there are people in the parish who die with no living relatives or friends, and these are remembered in parish Masses in November and once a week throughout the year.

Fr Fitzgerald explains that the funeral is only the beginning of the journey with someone who is grieving. When a priest prepares a funeral and presides at the liturgy, he gains insight into the grieving person’s life.

“Later, when you see someone in the locality, and you know that the car is up for sale because only the wife who died could drive it, you know. People talk to you about their grief if you stick with them,” he says.

Knock Remembrance Garden

A special remembrance garden at Knock Shrine was set up a decade ago for those with deceased children and babies. It is now also used by others who are grieving. “There is no doubt about it; nature speaks to people and heals them in a very powerful way,” says Monica Morley, Director of the Family Centre at Knock. “There is that beautiful image: we sow the seeds, they go into the ground and die, and a few months later, we see new life. It’s part of the reality of life that our loved ones have gone into the ground, but we believe that this is not the end - we will meet again.”

FOR FURTHER INFORMATION

• see: www.knockshrine.ie

• www.mscmissions.ie

• Whisperings of My Soul is available from Veritas and other bookshops

• See www.veritasbooksonline.com

• Monica Morley is co-presenter of Faith Alive Programme, Sundays at 9 am on Mid West Radio, Mayo.

See: www.midwestradio.ie

Ann Marie Foley is a freelance writer living in Co Laois, covering a variety of topics, including religion, food, farming and country life, transport, and business. She has written for CatholicIreland. net and other religious publications.

WITH EYES WIDE OPEN JIM DEEDS SEEING THE WORLD WITH NEW EYES

THE EXPERIENCE OF BEREAVEMENT CAN LEAD US TO GREATER EMPATHY FOR OTHERS IN THEIR PAIN

SometimesI hear another person say something so awesome, so purely true, that it seems at once that I am hearing it for the first time and yet have always known it to be so. These moments often come in the middle of quiet, personal conversations and are spoken by honest people, uninterested in painting any false sense of themselves. And they are often things that are, on one level, quite simple and uncomplicated.

I had one such experience some time ago I would like to share with you. I was walking with a friend I have known for many years. Our conversations are always wide-ranging and often cut to the heart of very serious matters. As we talked and walked towards the City Cemetery here in Belfast, my friend was reminded of the death of his mother. He spoke to me about the time shortly after her death and how he felt. Then he said the thing that really stuck with me.

“You know how, after a loss or bereavement, you see the world differently. And you’re open to seeing other people’s sadness differently. You’re more in touch with the word in a new way. Well...” He went on to tell me a story. But more of that in a minute. Let’s just stick with what he said so far.

It was like a revelation, yet it was a timeless truth that I not only knew but had experienced myself without necessarily putting words to the experience.

I was transported immediately to the time after the big losses

in my life: my grandparents, my best friend Fearghal, my mentor Fr Tom Toner, my parents-in-law. I saw myself in the aftermath of their deaths. As his words hit my ears and travelled to my brain and then some deep part of my heart and soul, I knew that I also saw the world differently for a time.

I knew that the colours of the world looked different. Sometimes they were duller. But also, after a bereavement, as time inevitably marches, there are moments of unspeakable (almost painful) beauty; a sunrise or sunset, a flower, an animal, a child’s smile. So many things can awaken the emotions of one recently bereaved.

And what he had said about seeing other people’s sadness or troubles differently resonated with me too. I remember seeing grieving people with a different empathy after my own bereavements. I knew I couldn’t feel their pain, but I had felt that sort of pain. I could unite myself with them in it and pray for them in a new way. We were, indeed, brothers and sisters.

My friend went on to tell me of one of his experiences in this grieving time while travelling in Europe. He and his partner had been out for a night in a club. Having had a good night, they set back to their hotel. On the way, they saw a homeless family, mum, dad, and kids. He could see them and the pain they felt in that situation. He could really see them and really feel for them. They were his brothers and sisters.

Particularly seeing a family, he was struck by the thought that he should buy them some food. He did so, and they accepted it and were gracious in accepting the kindness of a stranger. Beautiful. But the story doesn’t end here.

As they walked away, touched by their experience, someone else had witnessed what they had done. And this person was moved by it. He approached them; a young African-American man. He told them he had seen what they had done and wanted to give them something, the only thing he had to give. He sang them a song! He stood in the street of a European city, this African-American man singing ‘Georgia,’ the old jazz/blues song, for these young, generous, grieving Irish people so recently bereaved of their beautiful mummy. He repaid their gift to the homeless family with a gift of his very own.

My friend saw the world differently after his sadness opened him up to the reality of the world. And that reality is this: the world can sometimes be sad and painful. We lose those we love as part of that journey through life. But even the pain of these experiences can be used to bring good to others as we empathise with their pain.

And so the world can also be a homeless family experiencing Irish generosity and an Irish couple being immediately repaid with the gift of a personal, impromptu performance of a beautiful song that will ring loud in their ears for years to come.

Let’s bring those to mind who are struggling through bereavement and reach out in support to remind them that they are loved. If you are struggling with bereavement, depression, anxiety, relationship problems, or other difficulties, please know that we are united with you as your brothers and sisters. You know what it is to suffer, and you bring a special empathy for those around you who also suffer. You can reach out to or pray for others with an insight that is deep and true. In this way, you are a great gift to the world.

Belfast man Jim Deeds is a poet, author, pastoral worker and retreat-giver working across Ireland.

THE QUESTION OF GENDER

IN THE SECOND OF A SERIES OF ARTICLES REFLECTING ON MODERN MORAL DILEMMAS, THE AUTHORS CONSIDER THE QUESTION OF GENDER IDENTITY

BY AOIFE M cGRATH AND RAPHAEL GALLAGHER CSsR

It’sa girl. It’s a boy. Mother and baby doing great. We love to hear that exciting news. Apart from the joy of the good news itself, we now know what colour of card to send the happy parents and what type of present we might give. Thinking of a boy or a girl sends coded messages to our brain about sexual identity.

Being assigned a sex at birth is part of an official certificate that we carefully safeguard. It will be needed for subsequent documents such as a baptism certificate, passport, marriage certificate, driving license.

A NEW QUESTION

The presumption that a person grows into the gender identity of the sex assigned at birth is legitimate. That is how it is for most people. However, the correspondence between sexual identity and gender identity does not happen for everyone. This is a different question to the acceptance of gay or lesbian distinctiveness. Since the passing of the Marriage Equality Referendum in the Republic of Ireland in 2015, there is a significant acceptance of the rights of gays and lesbians, including that to marriage. Recent public response to apparently homophobic murders highlighted the abhorrence of decent Irish people to such discrimination.

The public acceptance of gender identity is a different question. Because it is a recent

debate involving deeply held personal convictions, it can quickly become very emotional. That became obvious in reactions to media programmes about trans people. Some contributors appeared to suggest that such people did not even have the right to exist in society, let alone be accorded any further rights. We should use appropriate language when speaking of gender issues. It is not enough to avoid coarse jargon or slogans.

THE CHALLENGE

This is a huge challenge. Some online surveys maintain that there may be 60 to 70 different gender varieties. We keep to a more moderate claim for this article, using abbreviations that have become fairly standard. LGBTQIA+ is an acronym for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, and asexual persons. It is frequently used as shorthand for people of diverse sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, or sex characteristics.

Our focus is on gender questions. Gender identity describes a person’s sense of being female or male, some combinations of the two, or even having no gender at all. Gender expression refers to the way a person presents themselves, such as the way they dress. The binary selection of being called female or male does not always turn out to be a two-lane street. The sex assigned at birth is presumed to develop into a fixed pattern of gender

characteristics and expressions. What happens when one’s birth-assigned sex does not align with later gender identity and expression? This is a significant moral challenge for many people, their families, and friends.

We maintain it is a moral issue. This is different to saying it is purely a legal matter. The Gender Recognition Act of 2015 regulates the law in Ireland. Since the coming into legal force of the act, 345 passports were assigned to people who legally changed their gender. In 2021, the State approved 195 gender recognition certificates, including one to a person aged between 16 and 17. A person can apply to the Minister for Social Protection for a gender recognition certificate which ensures that the person’s preferred gender is fully recognised by the State.

A MORAL QUESTION

To say that gender issues are moral challenges not solvable by law alone is not an attempt to ignore the significance of law for the cohesion of society. From a moral perspective, the primary role of law is to educate people in society. The better the law, the more probable the prospect of an educated society. There may be a public opportunity to test that when a Bill will be brought before the Oireachtas to strengthen the possibility of convictions for hate crimes. Included in the proposed Bill is a reference to gender (including gender

expression and identity). Such legislation is to be welcomed.

Good as laws may be, they do not include all the richness of moral wisdom. The heart of morality must come from the convictions of individual people. Someone who is experiencing gender confusion is the significant person in engendering their own moral response. It is to be hoped that the legal protection for people struggling with gender identity will help that process. There is always the further consideration that not everything that is legal is necessarily moral from a Christian perspective.

This is where the contribution of Christian communities and teaching should begin. Their role is to sustain the growth of individual believers. We have to learn a new language to accomplish this. Catholic teaching has been consistently strong on sexual morality. With society in general, we are entering the gender debate as novices. How far can you go? was the humorous title of David Lodge’s novel of 1980. This entertaining book chronicles the lives of young Catholics coming to terms with the changed mores of the 1960s and 70s. You can’t go very far, it seems. That question is outdated. The question about gender identity issues is: where do you start?

LEARNING

We are using the image of novices to explain how the church community can contribute to the gender debate. Novices enter a living tradition. They face new challenges to that tradition, but wise companions can be found to show how the tradition of Christian morality navigates unmapped territory. There are at least three of these to help us in the gender debate.

We start with the Second Vatican Council in its Constitution on The Church in the Modern World. “The Council now draws attention to some more urgent problems deeply affecting the human race at the present time in the light of the gospel and of human experience.” Gender is not specifically mentioned. It was not a publicly debated issue at the time. The criterion of looking for guidance from the Gospel and human experience remains valid

for this question too. There is, of course, little in the gospels about gender in the modern sense. But there is much about how to live the Christian vocation. The emphasis on human experience is also significant. We, as a church, have to learn from the experience of people forced to live through gender anxiety. The good teacher is firstly a listener.

Pope Francis is indicating a sensitive approach to questions of gender, compared to a rigid repetition of past formulae. He shows great compassion towards gender non-conforming people. He has had several meetings with LGBTQIA + groups. In January 2022, he spoke about parents who see their children with different gender orientations during his weekly general audience. He told them, as he often does in such situations, to try to do what Jesus would have done. Speaking to a transgender group from Torvaianica, he was applauded when he advised the staff administering the covid vaccine: ‘ask their names, not their sex.’

The third encouraging signal is coming from the Synodal process that is now well under way in the Irish church. Last June, there was a significant meeting to gather the reports from participating dioceses and groups. High on the list of issues considered important for the church’s future in Ireland was a better understanding of LGBTQIA+ people. There was overwhelming support for their full inclusion in the church, expressed by all age groups.

SIGNS FOR THE CHURCH

A consensus of opinion does not necessarily state what is morally the good thing to do. Opinions change, and what is politically correct today may be considered out of date tomorrow. Nonetheless, there is a clear sign from the Catholic community at all levels urging a different attitude to people with gender questions and struggles. The development of a Christian language adequate to this challenge will start with an assessment of sexual morality in general. Catholic teaching on sex has emphasised actions that were considered sinful. There was acceptance of the need to consider other

aspects, such as acting with full knowledge and consent. In practice, these were not always given their proper moral weight. With the gender question, the starting point should not be an analysis of actions but of something more fundamental. Gender involves a person’s sense of identity. It is difficult to imagine anything more fundamental. For a person to reach a comfortable sense of their own identity, there is a responsibility for the Christian community to develop a language and style of life that is positive.

LEARNING FROM THE SCRIPTURES

As Christians, how might we journey together – in a meaningful, synodal way – with persons who are searching for their ‘true’ gender identity? What might help us embrace a posture of learning on this moral issue? The Gospels remind us of the necessity for staying awake, alert, and attentive (Mk 13:33). They also challenge us to see and serve Christ present in the stranger, the person in need (Mt 25:35). In this context, perhaps wakefulness means becoming more aware of the reality of gender ‘dysphoria’ and its impact on people’s lives, their relationships and their sense of identity and belonging. To help us be alert, we might seek out information on gender diversity and reflect on the significance of gender within our own personal sense of identity. We could also reflect on how these human experiences correspond with the Christian vision that each person is created in the image of God. For all Christians, this should be the criterion of what it means to develop as a gendered person. Without grappling with this vision, we might fail to see Christ in the other person. We are challenged to be attentive in our future encounters and opportunities so that we can respond with compassion to persons who may be struggling in their gender identity journey.

Aoife McGrath is director of pastoral theology at St Patrick’s Pontifical University Maynooth.

Raphael Gallagher CSsR is a Redemptorist who taught moral theology in Rome for 20 years. He now lives in Limerick.

SOME EXPERIENCES OF SIERRA LEONE

MARY ROSE MCCARTHY’S TIME AS A VOLUNTEER IN SIERRA LEONE FROM 1988 TO1990 GAVE HER A NEW INSIGHT INTO AND APPRECIATION OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH

BY MARY ROSE MCCARTHY

WhenVoluntary Services Overseas

(VSO) first offered me a placement as a volunteer in Sierra Leone, I had to scramble for the atlas to see where exactly it was. By then, of course, I’d already accepted the placement. Thus began a tremendous twoand-a-half-year adventure living and working in the West African country.

From this vantage point, it is difficult to explain my motivations precisely. We were the Live Aid generation, consumers of the first televised famine, which prompted Bono, Geldof, and all the others to make Live Aid resulting in millions of pounds donated to the starving populace of Africa.

Before applying as a volunteer, I’d diligently read up on various kinds of volunteering literature from many agencies. At the time, I was living in London, working as a nurse. It was also a fallow period in my practice as a Catholic. From these perspectives, it was imperative that I not volunteer with a ‘God Bothering Agency.’ Filled with the confidence and certainty that only youth can confer, I determined that food mattered more than church.

Oh, to have God’s sense of humour. My placement was at Loreto Clinic, a mother and child health clinic in the northern town of Makeni and in the thick of the Catholic mission to boot. Irish brothers and nuns and Italian priests and brothers. Makeni was a hub for people travelling to the capital. Every day someone was in town, either going to or coming from Freetown. And many of these were Catholic missionaries or APSO volunteers, American Peace Corps, or staff of World Development programmes.

ORDINARY PEOPLE

The most striking thing was the ordinariness of these people. Coming from a Catholic educated background, my interaction with clergy or religious was obsequious reverence where they were always in full regalia, and I was always polite and distant. On our primary school tours, when we stopped for the main meal of the day, our nun-teachers ate in a separate part of the hotel. Unthinkable now in the age of child safeguarding. I formed the impression that these women in strange clothes must also eat somehow differently from

us mere mortals.

Landing then in Sierra Leone, where priests and brothers wore shorts and t-shirts and nuns wore simple skirts or dresses, was a bit of culture shock. On my first Sunday in Makeni, an Irish nun invited me to play tennis. That afternoon an Irish Spiritian travelled many miles from the Eastern Province to welcome me to the country. He was from the same part of West Cork that I hailed from, and here he was, mug of tea in hand, dressed in a t-shirt and shorts doing what Irish always do: ‘Remember so and so? Now he and I were in school…’. Fr Bongiovanni had me coaching girls in volleyball and from then on hailed me as Coach. The people called him Fr Victor.

My boss at the clinic turned out to be an Irish Sister of Cluny. She lived in a house with two other Irish and a Sierra Leonean, all Cluny sisters. My first meal in Makeni was in their convent. The down-to-earth practicality of these women made me tongue-tied that first evening.

That state didn’t last very long. I quickly adapted to life in Sierra Leone, picking up smatterings of the languages, enjoying the heat, the first rains, rice, and life in general.

RELIGIOUS INFLUENCES

It was only a matter of time before the religious influences began to rub off on me as invitations to meals came from all corners. We volunteers dubbed the Italian priests ‘little Italy’ as they were so generous when containers arrived from their home country. An Irish brother loved marmalade with his cheese - when he could get cheese. Mission houses and convents were always welcoming to the weary traveller providing cold filtered drinking water—a necessity in a country where clean drinking water wasn’t readily available. In many locations, especially rural ones, they also were the source of rest houses where guests could safely stay until the next leg of their journey.

Most priests covered more than one parish or outstation, as they called it. This might mean travelling long distances on sometimes tricky unpaved roads, which in the rainy season might be quagmires. The arrival could not be timed down to the last minute. Many outlying villages and towns did not have weekly Mass, never mind daily.

Living as I did in a large town, which also happened to be where the bishop lived and with plenty of different missionaries around, we mostly had daily Mass. But not always if the priest got detained at an outstation or couldn’t travel back in time due to poor road conditions. In that instance, Mr Gullamusa stepped up and led a paraliturgy.

Through all these influences and many down-to-earth chats with some of these men and women, my fallow period of worship morphed first into attendance at Sunday Mass and then to daily Mass. No one tried to convert me or proselytise. It was by example and ordinary interactions, at meals or work, that I understood these people lived the word of God rather than merely orally preaching it once a week.

There were many opportunities to attend Mass in the morning before the heat of the day and work at the clinic began. On many occasions, I joined two sisters of the Holy Rosary at their dining room table where Mass was celebrated by Fr Bramati, who arrived in his white cassock by motorbike. To hear and

understand every word of the Mass and be near the elevated host and chalice is a gracefilled moment.

When Mother Teresa’s nuns moved into the flat next door to mine, they invited me to join them in celebrating daily Mass. In an ordinary room, these women sang and prayed the Mass. Again the intimacy of the moment of transubstantiation is unforgettable.

LOYALTY TO THE CHURCH

In a predominantly Muslim country, Catholics were a minority. This, I think, might go some way towards explaining their loyalty to their church. They supported their clergy and attended Sunday Mass regularly. If this happened to be shorter than two hours, they felt short-changed. This in the sweltering heat in a simple building with all windows and doors open. Simple panes of glass in those windows, not a Harry Clarke in sight.

Now that Ireland and the global church are beginning a synodal journey, I am struck with thoughts of how Sierra Leone 30 years ago was practising some of what is mooted now as ways of reviving or renewing the church in Ireland. When Mr Gullamusa led a paraliturgy, everyone participated and took this as an ordinary occurrence. Catechists worked most days at the Pastoral Development Centre, much of the time with adults who wished to join the church.

Recently, at a synodal gathering, I suggested to one of the priests that perhaps we could have paraliturgies in the absence of ordained clergy, given that we are experiencing a shortage of priests. I outlined to him how I witnessed it in West Africa. He explained that paraliturgies and catechists were used by the church in the developing world as a way of

encouraging people to join the church and put themselves forward for priesthood. I wasn’t fast enough in my thinking to respond but are we not now precisely in the same situation? We are a minority faith which we need to develop and nurture so that we may continue as church. Recollecting that conversation now, I wonder if that man is challenged by the notion of a wider engagement from the laity. There are many great memories and photos I have of Sierra Leone. It is a country of many contrasts - very hot and dry in the dry season and torrential rain, floods, and mud in the wet season; extreme wealth from the diamond industry and extreme poverty through the unequal distribution of that wealth; a very small number of Catholics but with a very committed, involved laity willing to step up and take on leadership roles when the clergy are away at outstations, i.e., covering other parishes.

In this time of huge opportunity in the church in Ireland and globally, while we try to discern and listen as we journey this synodal pathway together, perhaps we might consider lessons from the church in developing countries.

In times of scarcity, be that of food or resources such as personnel, we need to think innovatively and creatively and find ways to meet the needs so that the church will continue for another 2,000 years.

Having gone round in circles living in London, Sierra Leone, and Dublin, Mary Rose McCarthy is now back where she started in West Cork. She has worked in a variety of social and health care settings and is an award-winning short story writer and journalist. She writes in an attempt to make sense of the world.

FIGHTING GENDER VIOLENCE

AR SCÁTH A CHÉILE A MHAIREANN NA NDAOINE – IT IS IN THE SHELTER OF EACH OTHER THAT WE FIND LIFE

BY NOIRIN LYNCH

Take my side, God – I’m getting kicked around, stomped on every day. Not a day goes by but somebody beats me up;

They make it their duty to beat me up. When I get really afraid I come to you in trust. I’m proud to praise God; fearless now, I trust in God.

What can mere mortals do? …

You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights, Each tear entered in your ledger, each ache written in your book.

(Psalm 56: 1-4. 8. The Message translation)

I’ve been invited to write a short piece on the difficult topic of gender violence. I think it is essential for us all to reflect on this theme through the lens of Christian faith so that we might learn how God is calling us to love one another today.

A note before I start: I am not a professional in this area. If, as statistics tell us, one in four people experience abuse in their lifetimes, then many readers could write more and better on this theme than I. So I welcome responses and encourage more conversation on this theme. Also, if any of the content is triggering or upsetting, I encourage you to speak, in confidence, with one of the many people who work daily to make Ireland safe and better for all of us (contact details at end).

PATRIARCHY – A SYSTEM OF ORGANISING PEOPLE THAT FACILITATES DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Violence against women is not the result of random, individual acts of misconduct but rather is deeply rooted in structural relationships of inequality between women and men. Violence constitutes a continuum across the lifespan of women, from before birth to old age. It cuts across both the public and the private spheres.

(Seeds of Sequoia, Corrymeela programme)

Julie is married 30 years now and has never had her own bank account. She worries a lot about whether she will be able to stay in her home after her terminally ill husband dies. He refuses to discuss finances or the future as he insists he is well, though bedridden, and that it is not her place to worry about such things. When she cries, he tells her she’s weak and a bad cook.

Domestic abuse is not just the case of a few bad apples. It’s far too common for that. Instead, it’s a method of maintaining a system called patriarchy, which is a “social organisation marked by the supremacy of the father in the clan or family, the legal dependence of wives and children, and the reckoning of descent and inheritance in the male line. This system is not just damaging to women and children, who were often considered chattel or

possessions. It also damages boys and men as it insists on conformity and bullies boys who are not considered ‘manly enough.’

For a long time, most cultures claimed that patriarchy is the natural order, suggesting that those who did not fit into their assigned gender roles were dangerous or wrong. People were removed from families for being pregnant without permission. Women were not allowed to have a bank account, to inherit, or choose their marriage partner independently. Boys were beaten to toughen them up. This way of controlling people is no longer acceptable. In fact, patriarchy’s need to use so much violence is a sign that it is not the natural order but an imposed system.

Question to reflect on:

How do we, as a parish, speak about what we expect of women and men? What unspoken expectations exist for men and women in my family and community? How do we treat those who can’t or won’t meet those expectations?

HOW PATRIARCHY MAINTAINS ITSELF – COERCIVE CONTROL, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, AND GENDER-BASED VIOLENCE

Safe Ireland says: “Domestic abuse and coercive control is a persistent and deliberate pattern of behaviour by an abuser over a prolonged

period of time designed to achieve obedience and create fear. It is all about making a woman’s world smaller – trapping her, restricting her independence and freedom. A controlling partner may shut out her friends and family, control her movements, micro-manage what she eats or wears, restrict her access to money – all the time chipping away at her confidence and destroying her self-respect.”

The purpose of violence is control. Evan Stark, a well-known expert on coercive control, says that it is not just about what a man does to a woman but about what a man will not allow a woman to do for herself.

Speaking at a conference (link below), Evan mentions a woman who had left a terrible marriage and was now safe and far away from her abuser. In Evan’s office one day, the phone rang, and the woman began to shake. In her old life, the phone was not allowed to ring more than three times. This woman had been so controlled by her husband that now, years later and safe, her arm broke out in hives when the phone was not answered.

This is what coercive control can do to an adult or child, and this is the scar it leaves. Coercive control is illegal in this country, and the Gardai and PSNI are bringing many cases to court to protect victims and their families.

In truth, most men I know deplore violence and any expressions of hatred towards women. Yet sexist and violent comments in WhatsApp groups flourish as so many people find it too difficult to challenge ‘jokes’ in case they are bullied or laughed at. This is a form of control, and we need to notice how unfree we are amongst people we call family and friends.

Once, we could claim ignorance, but now that we all know that about one in four people in that very group has experienced abuse, is the joke still funny, and how many are really laughing?

Questions to reflect on:

How difficult is it to name unfair control or abuse, and how might we learn to speak out loud about it? How might I better respond in the future when I hear sexism, violence, or misogyny?

THEOLOGY AND FAITH – GIVING PATRIARCHAL VIOLENCE COVER?

“I firmly reject any claim that religious beliefs can be invoked as a legitimate ‘justification’ for violence or discrimination against women, girls or LGBT+ people,” says Ahmed Shaheed, UN Special Rapporteur on freedom of religion or belief, noting that “the right to freedom of religion protects individuals and not religions as such.”

Suzanne married a man who only beat her once. In truth, the beating put her in hospital, but her husband immediately swore off the drink and hasn’t hit her since, even though he sometimes gets so angry that he bangs doors and breaks things. Suzanne begins to shake then and can’t stop. When she shakes, it makes her husband angrier as he says the priest forgave him in confession and she’s wrong not to trust him; that hasn’t hit her in years. So, she goes to confession to confess her sin and prays to be a better, more forgiving wife.

Suzanne is traumatised and deserves to feel safe. She has done nothing wrong. Whether we like it or not, our churches have all supported the idea that all things must be controlled for the benefit of men. For instance, many Christians believe that they are not allowed to leave an abusive relationship, which is untrue, or that an abuser who asks for forgiveness must receive it, which is also untrue. Forgiveness is a gift from the wounded, not a right of the one who did wrong.

We can despair, but perhaps, we might consider that our churches have managed to move from considering issues like slavery to be scriptural into now being strongly antislavery. So, we, too, can learn to stop excusing and hiding violent control.

In this time, after a silent pandemic of domestic abuse, isn’t it worth talking about why some scripture or church doctrine is problematic in how it speaks about gender violence and control? Can we, as parishes and clergy, reflect on how some Sunday scripture readings or funeral homilies might be experienced by the *many* victims of abuse and the abusers present in our congregations?

Julie’s husband said one night to her, ‘Isn’t it in the Bible what I’m entitled to? You know it’s a sin to refuse your husband or talk about leaving a marriage. You’d be shunned by every good Catholic if you tried, wouldn’t you’ … Was he correct? How would Julie know?

Can we say, as Pope Francis does, that “Unacceptable customs still need to be eliminated. I think particularly of the shameful ill-treatment to which women are sometimes subjected, domestic violence and various forms of enslavement.” (Amoris

Question to reflect on:

Laetitia, 54)

What does my faith teach me about how to care for vulnerable people or those living with abuse?

How can my parish reflect on our liturgy and language around coercive control and tolerance of abuse? What might the role of the parish be in condemning all forms of violence and offering support to those who need a path to safety?

FINDING WAYS FORWARD. REJECTING DOMESTIC ABUSE AND BUILDING SAFE COMMUNITIES

Theological scholar Walter Brueggemann says, ‘the first step towards prophetic obedience is the naming of what is wrong: a commitment to truth-telling that overcomes indolence, indifference and vested interest… The duty of church leaders is to tell the truth, even when what is horrible is found within our own churches.’

Sometimes we think of domestic violence only when faced with murders or court cases, and we are horrified and overwhelmed by the violence we see. However, for most victims and survivors of abuse, their suffering is quieter, happening now, and it often feels like it’s impossible to speak about or find help. We all need to become more aware and vocal, so we are not asking the most vulnerable people to do the lion’s share of the work.

Safe Ireland produced an excellent document in 2021 called ‘No Going Back.’ It showed how difficult it is for a victim of domestic abuse to leave their home and find safety. If the two images from that report

described here seem very hard to follow, you can only imagine how difficult they are to live through. So let’s learn more, even if it scares us. Here are some resources that might help us to reflect on our call as Christians to reject gender violence and intimate partner abuse today:

Learn more about domestic abuse, gender-based violence, and coercive control.

• ’What would I do’ –https://whatwouldyoudo.ie/ from the Irish Government

• ’No Going back,’ Safe Ireland. https://www.safeireland.ie/no-going-back

• For young people: https://www.toointoyou.ie

• Many agencies supporting women now offer courses to raise awareness. For instance, Safe Ireland provides training for pharmacists and agencies like Adapt House in Limerick offer regular training for members of the public. https://www. adaptservices.ie/training_development

Let’s break the silence about abuse by talking about it.

• Seed of Sequoia is an ecumenical resource for faith communities to discuss this issue. https://www.seedofsequoia.org/resources/

• Develop a list of local support services to display prominently in all parish venues with a strong statement that all people are entitled to a safe and kind home and that we condemn all forms of violence.

• Include gender violence in prayers of the faithful and notice how we sometimes speak only about forgiveness and acceptance of burdens (abuse?) without also naming repentance and personal responsibility for one’s actions.

LET’S CHALLENGE THE MYTHS, LOUD AND CLEAR.

• No one can make you abuse them; no pain or childhood trauma makes it okay for a person to hurt another. An abuser is always totally responsible for their actions – whether physical, sexual, emotional, or

spiritual abuse.

• Alcohol or drugs are not responsible for violence or abuse. Personal responsibility is the measure of an adult.

• There IS such a thing as too much pain. There is no bed you made and must lie on. It is acceptable and brave to leave a place of violence, abuse, or coercive control. If you do this, you deserve huge support and respect.

• Domestic Violence is not unusual. It does happen here on this street and needs to stop. The purpose of violence is control; we don’t need a bruise to be abused.

• Children are not just witnesses; they are victims of abuse even if they only see or hear someone being assaulted. That experience is traumatic and abusive.

• Abusing a parent – by controlling their money, access, or lives – is also domestic abuse and is illegal. There is no shame in asking for help or safety.

• If our response to abuse is ‘we suffered and it did us no harm,’ then, with love, we need to wonder what hurt us to the extent that we are unmoved or unwilling to confront others’ pain. Let’s break the cycle.

As parishioners, we do not have all the answers, but we are clear on one thing: Our church and our God condemns any action that destroys the dignity of a human person, including domestic abuse. As Christians, we are called to build the Kingdom of Heaven on earth, and that includes a world with no violence. We ground our actions in prayer so that God’s grace is at the heart of all we do. Lord, give us eyes to see and ears to hear the many different ways in which domestic and family violence is carried out against all sorts of people, in all kinds of ways, in our communities. Thank you for seeing and hearing everything that happens in this world. Give us understanding and keep us vigilant to recognise those who need assistance, knowing that violence does not always involve physical scarring and bruising. Give counsellors and pastoral care workers understanding and wisdom as they offer support in these painful circumstances.

Father, give us grace and insight to face uncomfortable truths about how the gospel has been misused, and our church communities have been complicit in the abuse of women and children. Help us not downplay or deny our involvement, but help us see our individual and collective responsibilities.

For the times when we have sheltered and supported abusers in place of the abused, we are sorry and repent. For the times when we have spoken, counselled, or taught thoughtlessly or insensitively, or wrongly, we are sorry. We are sorry for the hurt we have caused, perpetuated, or excused. We thank you that you are merciful and ask that you would enable true and full repentance within our churches and us so that healing and transformation will abound. Amen.

(Prayer based on: https://www.commongrace. org.au/domestic_violence_pray)

FOR FURTHER READING AND CONTACT DETAILS

Women’s Aid Tel: 1800 341 900

Safe Ireland has a list of local numbers are at https://www.safeireland.ie/get-help/ and the document mentioned is at:

https://www.safeireland.ie/no-going-back Seeds of Sequoia. Corrymeela Ecumenical community – a programme reflecting on faith communities response to domestic violence. https://www.seedofsequoia.org/site/wpcontent/uploads/2021/11/Seed-of-SequoiaSection-1-Responding-to-DSV.pdf Accessed 22/7/22

Evan Stark, Story mentioned above is in a video of a Domestic Violence Symposium. https://youtu.be/CxfzRkWPGb4

Church leaders condemn gender violence

Pope Francis

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/worldeurope-59723278

Irish Bishops, 2019, Day for Life: https://www.catholicbishops.ie/2019/09/26/dayfor-life-2019-the-scourge-of-domestic-abuse

FAMILY

RELATIONSHIPS

Overthe last three years, many of us experienced life events we were not prepared for, would never have chosen, and could not have predicted. Yet we suffered through the bad times, and somehow we survived.

How people c≠ope when faced with unprecedented challenges says a lot about resilience. Parents who had to home school and hold down full-time jobs had no choice but to keep going. They had to find the energy to double job, even if it sometimes meant working until midnight. Despite all the stress, challenges, ups and downs, most learned to find routines that worked.

Grandparents, who helped with child minding, school collections, and babysitting, had their daily routines disrupted. Some missed the regular interaction with their grandchildren and suffered huge loneliness. Others who looked on unpaid childminding as mostly a burden had a more positive reaction. Not having demands made on their time offered a better quality of life.

LOW RESILIENCE

For some, childcare had taken over a large part of their lives and could take over the future. Sometimes people discover that after doing something they love for an extended period, they don’t want to go on doing what they had been doing.

There can often be an extended period between when a person decides to make a change and taking the first steps to implement the change. In an

experiment, psychologist Christian Waugh demonstrated that change is more difficult for people with low resilience. Participants in the study who anticipated and worried about what might happen were slower to recover from the negative experience they dreaded even though it did not occur. Grandparents who find it exhausting to look after young

that difficult conversation, they procrastinate.

To pray for a miracle and live in the hope that all will be well is sometimes seen as a sign of good faith. The great spiritual master Anthony de Mello S.J. warned about attributing so much value to divine intervention that one avoided taking action. He said God can’t be bothered doing for you what you can do for yourself.

• Worry that the grandchildren may be disappointed

• Their parents will feel angry

• The family will judge them

• Making other arrangements will cause problems. There are genuine reasons why caring people fail to talk about what is important. Reluctant to let others down, they feel inhibited and would rather suffer in silence than discuss making the necessary changes. People can suffer through agonies of indecision when they cannot figure out what is the right thing to do. Suffering robs us of a sense of control over our lives. People of faith can see suffering through difficult and painful life events as an opportunity for spiritual growth.

children need to talk about this, but it may be hard to start that conversation. Adult children who recognise that their parents are no longer as fit and active as they used to be may see that changes to childcare need to be made. Afraid of causing upset, they feel they must wait for the right time to have the conversation about making different childcare arrangements.

Something in the Irish psyche makes us reluctant to bring up a topic that might cause upset or lead to conflict. People can suffer agony when they are worried and anxious about what the future holds and convinced of the need for change. Yet reluctant to have

NEEDLESS SUFFERING

The upset people go through when they are trying to figure out how to have a difficult conversation generates meaningless suffering. Even when it is difficult to know how to start, people with resilience are more likely to want to escape their misery. Resilient people have the capacity to think of new ways to handle situations because they are aware of their own emotional reactions and the behaviour of those around them.

Genuine fears are an obstacle to initiating the difficult conversation. Some of the reasons why people wait are;

• Reluctance to let others down

If you are not at peace at where you are in life right now, if you are suffering from emotional or physical pain, it is time to take stock. A person who realises that she is not happy, that something is not right, that he cannot continue to do what he has been doing, is undeniably in emotional pain.

The prophet Kahlil Gibran said, “Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.” Something needs to change when you are unhappy and not at peace. A reality to explore is that not everything that is faced up to can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced.

Carmel Wynne is a life coach, crossprofessional supervisor and author based in Dublin. For more information go to www.carmelwynne.org

SOMETHING NEEDS TO CHANGE WHEN YOU ARE UNHAPPY AND NOT AT PEACE.

JOURNEYING TOGETHER: THE ROAD TO A SYNODAL CHURCH REFLECTIONS FROM PERSONAL OPTIMISM

WITH THE SYNODAL PROCESS WELL UNDERWAY, A UK-BASED DIOCESAN FACILITATOR OFFERS SOME REFLECTIONS ON THE JOURNEY SO FAR

BY SARAH ADAMS

WhenI first heard Pope Francis had initiated this journey for the whole church, it neither surprised nor phased me. Having read so much of his writing, it seemed a natural pathway for him to take. So, I began the process with great optimism. I truly believed this was a genuine opportunity for people, following the pandemic, to re-ignite their engagement with the church. And not before time, it has to be said. However, I think I was naïve because many people’s initial reaction to the news left me feeling disheartened and demoralised. The loudest voices seemed to come from those who thought the idea of the synod was a waste of time. The view being that it wouldn’t matter how people actually think or feel because the hierarchy in the UK would ‘whitewash’ any report from the people of God.

I realised quickly that these feelings of dismay had to be

silenced within me, and the commitment to journeying together had to drive me. Someone had to hold on to the hope this moment offered. I truly believed there were other voices to be heard that might express an optimism similar to my own. The lethargy of both clergy and laity as to whether this would be a worthwhile enterprise meant that those who wanted to participate had to push for the opportunity to do so. Scepticism and exhaustion (from dealing with the pandemic) meant that very few clergy participated, and many did not encourage the laity to take part, particularly in the initial stages. Several parishes were late coming to the table because, despite the diocese’s efforts, the laity didn’t hear about it until long into the process. Some in the diocese seemed to think that people/clergy would give up at the first step. One priest talked about inviting people to put themselves

forward as a delegate (ignoring the proposed guidelines we sent out) and then found that no one responded. The argument for not engaging was that people were not interested. Nothing happened in that particular parish. Another parishioner sent in a report which emphasised how hard it had been to get her PP on board. The model operating in many parishes was if the priest doesn’t want it, we can’t do it.

WHAT STRUCK ME OVER TIME

1. In the early days, it seemed that the goal posts kept shifting, and we were ‘waiting on Rome,’ which felt very top-heavy - time scales, materials, accessing the website - but what was heartening was the genuine desire of the synod heads around the country to share their ideas and materials. It felt supportive and generous.

2. How rushed the diocesan phase was, given how slowly the church usually moves. The

time given to dioceses to engage with people seemed less than synodal. It was too short a time to win over many of the sceptics, and many still felt vulnerable or apprehensive due to the pandemic.

3. This feeling was compounded by many people’s perception of the church as distant and remote rather than a body to which they belong and feel part of.

4. By the end of the process, there was a greater sense that this pathway was not just for a particular moment but for the future. Even if people still don’t understand synodality, they have experienced something they wish to continue, specifically, the notion of listening to one another and recognising that we have much to learn from one another.

5. The experience of listening enabled people to speak about things that really mattered. For example, while the synod is not about women’s role in the

church, that issue was mentioned frequently in the reports, not so much about ordaining women as the feeling that we cannot journey together if 50 percent of the members do not have a voice.

6. It was impossible not to be moved by the many stories told about the hurt and betrayal people feel about those who have been abused by clergy. Some stories are heartbreaking. There was gratitude that they had been given the space to express the feelings about an issue which has been so devastating for all in the church.

There were just as many painful stories and concerns expressed about the perceived exclusion from the church of those who identify as LGBTQ+, with people sharing their emotional responses to the issue while not fully appreciating the church’s teaching.

SOME AREAS THAT STRUCK ME REGARDING THE PROCESS

• People struggled with the concept of praying before listening sessions. There were many anecdotal comments about how it reduced the amount of time available. People wanted to get on with the discussion. However, those groups who did give the recommended time to prayer found it very fruitful. This was particularly noticeable for our area assemblies when we began each day with half an hour of silent prayer.

• When it worked, the value people placed on the opportunity to listen to one another – and for this to continue – was heartening.

Clearly, this approach could reap many benefits moving forward.

• The fact that people felt that the language of the synod was too ‘churchy’ and unintelligible raised the issue of how we communicate with the majority, not just the few.

How views on synods (particularly the Church of England model) coloured how people believed that this synod would work.

LISTENING

Emphasising the need to listen and focus on the synod questions

resulted in people fearing or assuming that there was no place for specific issues. However, the approach offered for spiritual conversation which encouraged participants to listen to each other did, in fact, help people to express their deeply held views without fear of judgment.

Listening and offering an open space emerged as a powerful source of engagement. We need to be able to listen with compassion to the voice ‘beneath’ the voice,’ that is, what someone is really thinking and feeling when they speak.

Another need is for us to listen

to those voices that have not been heard, those who didn’t participate. We cannot assume that they simply accept the status quo. We need people to tell their story, to trust that it will be heard with love.

It is hard for all of us to truly let go of our own agenda, but this process calls for each one of us to have the inner freedom to be receptive to the other.

THE REPORTS

Although reading through the parish reports has been quite sobering, there are shoots of hope. There is a thirst for

formation, for community, for a more even sharing of responsibility. The desire for parish pastoral councils, with an emphasis on the pastoral, came up time and again.

One of the comments that appeared repeatedly was the need for the church – meaning the institutional church – to get back to the scriptures, to return to modelling Christ and shift away from what is perceived to be a very judgemental and hierarchical church, where rules exist to keep people in their place rather than a church that is deeply immersed in people’s lives, compassionately engaging with their lives and their faith.

CONTINUING THE JOURNEY

This synodal process is far from over. We have only taken baby steps to get this far. We need to grow in this model of journeying

together. People who have experienced it have seen its benefits. It must not just fade away with a report to Rome. Seeds have been sown and we need to continue to nurture them – or we will disappoint. These are seeds of: Ensuring that we create the right environment to really listen to one another and provide the space for others to speak. Look at how we share decisionmaking across parishes, deaneries and dioceses.

There is a genuine need to re-imagine the way parishes operate, particularly in relation to our culture and the demands of society.

There is an urgent need to reimagine clergy formation and training for the priesthood so that those who are ordained fully see and understand what it means to be a synodal church.

Formation in general has lost its way. Within the UK we have become a sacramental preparation church only, but there is a thirst for more and we need to be able to respond. A more honest recognition of the contribution that women can make to the church.

Clergy need support with systems that enable them, whilst at the same time hold them to account.

Personally, the synodal process will only begin to feel right when it is truly embedded in the life of the church. While I believe in synodality, the experience I have had over the last three months leaves me fearful that now that the ‘conversations’ are over and the report is written, people will think it’s all over. The onus will be on dioceses to ensure that this does not happen.

Sarah Adams is the director for adult education and evangelisation for the Diocese of Clifton. She was one of the two diocesan leads for the Synod. When not working, she enjoys walking and photography. Views expressed in this article are the author’s personal reflections and should not be ascribed to the Diocese of Clifton.

Advent Resources

From Redemptorist Communications

A

HAND IN THIS TIME OF EXPECTANT WAITING

ADVENT EXTRA 2022 Your Journey to Christmas

Advent Extra 2022 has the joint theme of promise and hope because they are inseparable. We follow a promise, hoping for better times ahead. We all need hope. Quoting the late Archbishop Desmond Tutu: “Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness”.

With it’s insightful articles and 28 daily reflections Advent Extra is the perfect companion this season.

JOURNEYING WITH JESUS IN ADVENT

Fr Denis Mc Bride CSsR

In this insightful and inspiring book, Fr. Denis Mc Bride guides us through the Advent season towards the celebration of the birth of Christ. Suitable for private reading or for use in groups, this book invites us to journey together towards a deeper appreciation of the true meaning of Christmas.

CELEBRATE: ADVENT Follow the Star to Christmas

A magazine for Catholic kids full of cool activities and fun quizzes, Perfect for 7-12 year olds it will encourage them to think about and grow in their faith while they have loads of fun! Twenty-two pages jam-packed with puzzles and facts – adults might learn something too!

Celebrate: Advent comes with our bestselling Advent calendar and activity sheet for even more things to do. This year there’s an easy way to refocus on the real meaning of Christmas as we Celebrate: Advent.

CHRISTMAS CARD PACK

A pack of twelve cards and envelopes, six designs produced and printed in Ireland.

DIARY 2023 Through the Year with 12 Values of Jesus

Fr. Denis Mc Bride CSsR

What are the core values that guide you through life? Our core values are qualities in our heart, shaping the choices we make, the way we relate with other people and the roads we decide to travel in life. What about Jesus’ values? What shaped the choices he made and the roads he decided to take? In this 2023 Diary, Through the Year with 12 Values of Jesus, Fr Denis Mc Bride C.Ss.R. tries to answer those questions by sharing and reflecting on what he considers to be the twelve core values of Jesus. Our 2023 diary is A5 in size and has practical full week to view across a double page spread. It includes an introduction from Fr. Denis, year planners for both 2023 and 2024, key dates and feast days, notes pages, and a ribbon marker. All of these features make it the ideal faith companion, appointment organiser and thoughtful gift.

GIANTS OF MEN

A NEW LIMERICK SCULPTURE PAYS TRIBUTE TO NATIVE SONS FRS AENGUS AND JACK FINUCANE, BROTHERS WHO WERE INSTRUMENTAL IN ESTABLISHING THE CHARITY, CONCERN

BY COLM MEANEY CSsR

Ifyou happened to be at Barrington’s Pier on the banks of the river Shannon in Limerick on 18 August 2022, you would have witnessed the unveiling of a most unusual piece of artwork, entitled “Giants of Men.” The website of Concern Worldwide calls it a “public bench and sculpture.” The word “sculpture” evokes images of something solid, made from marble, bronze, or wood. But I’m not sure if that word does justice to the creativity of the piece, which strikes me as particularly intriguing: both the shapes of the figures depicted and the materials used to create them.

The piece represents two human figures in very different poses. One is sitting meditatively, clearly in a thinking posture, reminiscent of Rodin’s “The Thinker.” The other is in a most active posture, pushing against a wall. The pairing almost echoes the Gospel sisters, Mary and Martha. The former sat at the Lord’s feet listening to his message, while the latter was busy in the kitchen preparing the necessities for looking after the guests. And while Jesus mildly chides Martha for her busyness (thus neglecting the importance of listening to his word), her role as hostess is surely also necessary because though we may not live on bread alone, we would not survive without it.

TWO BROTHERS

The Barrington’s Pier artwork depicts two brothers from my own parish in Limerick, Aengus and Jack Finucane. Both were members of the Spiritans (formerly known as the Holy Ghost fathers), and both had laboured in Nigeria in the 1960s during very turbulent times there. Both were associated with the beginnings of Concern, and political unrest and ensuing famine brought out the best in both. While Jack was the thinker, coming up with solutions to solve one problem after another, Aengus was the action man. Nothing could stop him, hence his posture in the artwork of pushing against a solid wall (the “wall” of poverty, hunger, and injustice). He would overcome the odds, while Jack is depicted in a more meditative posture. Through their combined energies,

and coordinating with the beginnings of the charity Concern, they shipped thousands of tons of much-needed goods to Biafra, thus helping numerous impoverished people.

From what I have read, Jack was a downto-earth man. Noting that the early Holy Ghost missionaries in Africa had suffered severe losses due to their inability to adapt to difficult conditions on the continent, he said, “the first essential of our apostolate is to be alive; the first essential of our work is for us to be healthy.” To try to adapt to a very different and demanding culture and climate was one thing; to throw caution to the wind and neglect one’s health, thereby weakening the very presence of the missionaries, was another.

nation, embodying and promoting a spirit of humanity, dignity and equality. Through their lifelong commitment to Concern Worldwide, they challenged the inevitability of poverty in defiance of accepted thinking. Through their courage, drive and leadership, they saved and transformed the lives of millions of people. This memorial was created with the support of family, friends and colleagues. DO AS MUCH AS YOU CAN, AS WELL AS YOU CAN, FOR AS MANY AS YOU CAN, FOR AS LONG AS YOU CAN.

SAD OMISSION

CAGE

The combination of materials used in the sculpture is called gabion (from the Italian word for “cage”), whereby stones of various sizes are placed into a stainless steel frame. The impression is one of a rough-and-ready, all-set-for action piece. You can almost sense the effort of Fr Aengus as he pushes against the intransigence of the obstacle he faces (the wall), while one can almost sense the flow of thought in the mind of Fr Jack as he ponders another difficulty to be faced and solved.

By the figures of the brothers is a bench in the shape of the flowing river Shannon. To quote from the Concern Worldwide website: “The bench will not only provide a resting place for the people of Limerick, overlooking the Shannon, but will also mark the contribution which two proud Limerick brothers made to the city’s rich legacy.”

Beside the sculpture is an inscription, which I think is wonderfully worded. It states: Aengus Finucane (1932-2009) and Jack Finucane (1937-2017). Humanitarians and proud Limerick men. Aengus and Jack stand for the best of who we are as a

My only quibble with the memorable salute to two heroic Irishmen is that there is no mention that both were priests, members of the Spiritans. I suspect this was not an oversight and is perhaps illustrative of the “new” Ireland being introduced relentlessly: the ever-present risk of not being always politically correct; the by now tediously familiar habit of besmirching any worthwhile achievement of the Catholic Church while spinning a historical narrative of unmitigated intolerance, cruelty and abuse.

Yet, would Jack and Aengus Finucane ever have set foot on Nigerian soil were it not for their training as Spiritans? Hardly. Whatever innate humanitarian instincts they were born with were surely strengthened and channelled by their seminary training. It’s a pity that a central source of the brothers’ inspiration and perseverance - that both were priests and Spiritans - was elided in the memorial plaque. However, this shouldn’t detract from the power of the sculpture and the Gospel-inspired achievement of the brothers and Concern worldwide ever since.

A native of Limerick city where he went to school in St Clement’s College, Fr Colm Meaney CSsR first went to the Philippines as a student and has spent most of his priestly life there.

“Do as much as you can, as well as you can, for as many as you can, for as long as you can.”

A FAR-FLUNG DIASPORA

MILLIONS OF FILIPINOS WORK OVERSEAS

SENDING HOME MUCH NEEDED MONEY WHILE ALSO CONTRIBUTING ENORMOUSLY TO THEIR HOST COUNTRIES

BY COLM MEANEY C.Ss .R.

Itcould be that being away from home somehow causes creativity to spring forth in people. It was the diaspora Jews in Alexandria, Egypt, in the 3rd century B.C. who translated the Hebrew bible into Greek – and that was the translation familiar to Jesus and the first Christian generations. The diaspora Irish helped build the skyscrapers of many American cities and the motorways in the U.K., and now the Philippine diaspora is achieving a variety of fine results. Even if the Philippines is composed of just over 7,000 islands, it is a remarkable fact that, of all the sea-faring people on the earth’s oceans, a full 25 percent are Filipino (and Filipina, to include the ladies). There are indeed countries with larger populations than the Philippines, and with far larger numbers of islands (Indonesia is one example), yet the fact remains that of all the sea-farers on earth’s waterways (cruise ships, oil tankers, trawlers, and

so forth), one-quarter of them are of Philippine origin. Pretty impressive.

Apart from those working nautically, millions of Filipinos work abroad. In their native country, they are called OFWs (Overseas Filipino Workers). Their number can only be estimated because a good number are in their current countries without any legal status. But whether cardcarrying legal emigrants or backdoor entrants, many provide great support for their families in the Philippines. Abroad, they practise a type of austerity as a way of economising so they can remit even more money to their families. They share accommodation, simplify their food budget, hold down two jobs, and so on, to save precious euros or dollars, dinar or yen.

DOMESTIC BENEFITS

And the benefits at home are almost instantly apparent. Drive along any rural highway

or around any rural town, and immediately it is obvious who has a spouse or family member abroad: the new house stands out by a mile. Not only is it built of sturdier materials than the neighbouring houses (which would have used coconut lumber, timber, thatch, simple masonry), but it appears as a veritable mansion, often with Doric columns, double garages for the cars - even turrets, for goodness’ sake! And often, the irony is that those living in the new extravagant manor houses are actually of a very simple nature, brought up in and used to much humbler circumstances. Their newfound affluence is due mainly to the efforts of family members working abroad.

It can’t be denied that the very rare husband in the Philippines puts remitted monies to mischievous uses! His wife will be valiantly toiling in some foreign country and regularly sending home financial help (euros, dollars, dinar) for the

construction of the new family home. She will regularly be sent photographs of the new house under construction, from laying the foundations to fitting the first blocks, and so on. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to the hard-working, beleaguered wife, no new house is being constructed. Her happy-go-lucky husband is busy spending the hard-earned money entertaining his buddies: drinking, gambling, and looking for building sites to take photographs of houses under construction!

And what benefits do Filipino OFWs bring to their host countries? I think those in the caring professions (HSE, nursing homes, home care agencies) have earned a good reputation. (If there are rare exceptions to the contrary, they simply confirm the rule). Generally, Filipinos are gentle, kind, patient, and loyal.

CATHOLIC FAITH

Apart from any physical services rendered, the Filipino community

in Ireland has, over the years, conferred blessings, often in conjunction with Redemptorist chaplains. Catholic faith takes various forms in the Philippines, from the simply devout to the vibrantly charismatic to the dogged search for justice (this last mentioned was the undoing of my colleague Rudy Romano, who was abducted in 1985 and never seen again). The faith that Filipinos brought to Ireland is undoubtedly of the former varieties – and it has enlivened and renewed many otherwise somewhat dormant parish communities.

HUNTINGTON’S DISEASE

Returning to the theme of the contributions of the Filipino diaspora, a Filipina friend of mine, who is a specialist nurse working at a London hospital that caters exclusively to patients with Huntington’s disease, told me that it is an especially tragic condition. It is a rare and incurable neurological disorder, which is hereditary and for

which, so far, no cure has yet been found - even though the causes have been isolated. Its victims suffer involuntary spasmodic movements, leading to social isolation or ostracism. And so patients and their families tend to hide the condition or deny it altogether.

In 2017 a meeting was held in Rome to further the development of treatments for the condition. My Filipina friend was in the U.K. delegation. The agenda included a meeting with Pope Francis in the Vatican, which was a truly memorable gathering, historic, and exceptionally moving. The pope spoke to the crowd of almost 2,000. He became the first pontiff ever to utter the words “Huntington’s disease” and, further, to say that anyone suffering from this condition was unequivocally welcomed and loved by God. Then he spent time with each patient, chatting with and embracing them.

That would have been enough, beginning to undo centuries of folk beliefs that the disease

resulted from some occult force or, God forbid, a curse from on high.

But even more moving scenes were to follow. Before the event, the organisers had asked two Latin American patients what would “make their day.” In response, the boy, Anyervi from Venezuela, was presented with a football used in a champion’s league game and a Barcelona shirt signed by his hero, the Brazilian Neymar. He returned to his seat, thrilled that his dream was coming true.

Even more moving was the girl Brenda from Argentina. Her father had died of the disease when she was a young teen, and her mother had abandoned her with the onset of the condition.

Brenda had dreamed of meeting her musical hero, the folk singer Axel. As she sat on stage with her neurologist, unknown to her, Axel approached from behind, strumming his guitar, intoning one of his popular tunes. One report said: “As he began to sing, she was struck by such

cartoonish awe you could see the back of her mouth and whites of her eyes from a mile away. It would have brought a tear to the eye of even the most hardened science correspondent.”

And the reporter continued: “As the families with Huntington’s disease left the Aula Paolo VI and dispersed into the throngs of tourists milling around the Vatican, they did so with their heads held that little bit higher.”

A native of Limerick city where he went to school in St Clement’s College, Fr Colm Meaney CSsR first went to the Philippines as a student and has spent most of his priestly life there.

‘A WAY TO GROUND YOURSELF …’

LADY GAGA’S FEARLESS FAITH

BY MICHAEL SHERMAN

Afascinating question in a theology classroom is the dynamic relationship between prayer and faith as it is experienced in everyday life. On the one hand, many theologians demonstrate in their work that theology and prayer are inseparable, with each implying and needing the other; while on the other hand, the entire enterprise of theology is summarised as faith, however we frame it, seeking to understand what it means to be human in the fullest sense. Of course, faith and prayer go hand in hand. Opening up questions in the contemporary classroom around the social and cultural expressions of prayer and faith can lead to intriguing exchanges and insights. And sometimes, all it takes is a prompting interruption. Throughout this series, I am exploring the many ways contemporary music artists seek and express their own experiences of faith and prayer. This month, I will look at one of Lady Gaga’s most popular songs in light of a discussion of Karl Rahner’s theology of prayer and anonymous and explicit faith.

Stefani Joanne Angelina

Germanotta, known professionally as Lady Gaga, is an American singer, songwriter, and actress. She rose to prominence in 2008 with her debut studio album, The Fame, and its charttopping singles ‘Just Dance’ and ‘Poker Face.’ In recent years she has played leading roles in films such as A Star is Born and House of Gucci . Her collaboration on the soundtrack for A Star is

ANONYMOUS CHRISTIAN

Throughout his career, Karl Rahner addressed the topic of prayer through his explorations of anonymous and explicit faith in many of his academic and spiritual writings. While a number of his discussions appear in his academic essays, his concerns are always of a pastoral nature. One of his main interests is how people who do not profess a belief in Christianity, or

significant contribution to the notion of the anonymous Christian. By this, he means a person who is not a Christian or a believer in God but is capable of achieving and realising salvation. Christianity has to account for the reality that people respond to God, or the idea of God, in their own way, in their own language, and on their own terms. In his famous Theological Investigations, Rahner describes it as follows:

There must be a Christian theory to account for the fact that every individual who does not in any absolute or ultimate sense act against his or her own conscience

Born saw her become the first woman ever to win an Academy Award, a BAFTA Film Award, a Golden Globe, and a Grammy Award in the same year. Many of Gaga’s songs sound like personal prayers to a God she knows to be all-loving and embracing. Some commentators have even called her a modern-day prophet who is the closest pop culture version there is to Pope Francis. Her songs are well worth a listen.

any other religion, or in God for that matter, may – in addressing and accepting themselves in their deepest questions –achieve salvation. His approach, at all times, is cognisant of the rich Christian tradition he has inherited and, at the same time, the lived reality of those who have left religion behind them, or see no need for it in their lives, or are self-professed atheists. As a pastoral response to this lived reality, he makes a

Lady Gaga

“ Suffering for Gaga is an unavoidable part of life, but also, in time, suffering serves as the path of prayer for healing and personal renewal.”

Karl Rahner

can say and does say in faith, hope, and love, Abba within his or her own spirit, and is on these grounds in all truth a brother/sister to Christians in God’s sight. This is what the theory of the anonymous Christian seeks to say, and, in so far as it is valid, what it implies.

For Rahner, there are people who do not belong to any religion and at the same time stand in a prayerful and salvific relationship to God, living in what he calls ‘a state of grace;’ and this may also be the case for those who, at the level of their conscious thought, interpret themselves as atheists. This is the case because of the optimistic religious belief found in Christianity which assumes that there is a God who favours universal salvation for all, and on the assertion that grace is offered to every human being without exception and regardless of whether it is recognised or not.

This optimistic religious belief is also found in Lady Gaga’s song ‘Born This Way.’ The song is from her second album of the same name, which was released in 2011, and has become an anthem for self-acceptance. In the chorus, she sings:

I’m beautiful in my way ‘Cause God makes no mistakes I’m on the right track, baby I was born this way.

The song has been described as the hymn for LGBTQIA+ Christians, with the Washington Post describing it as ‘one of the most culturally influential contributions to the theology of human sexuality.’ Similar to Rahner’s take on people living in a ‘state of grace’ even though they are perceived as not belonging to a religious tradition or faith community, for Gaga, accepting yourself ‘the way you were born’ is to be in a true relationship with God.

A LOVING GOD

Gaga’s belief in a loving and accepting God is part of a counter-narrative to the popular ‘either/or’ depiction of religion in America. She describes herself as a practicing Christian but also as someone with progressive values who passionately advocates for those Christians who feel marginalised because of their gender and sexual identify, and particularly those who feel they are not welcome or

do not belong in the Christian community. Responding to those who criticise her outspoken religious and advocacy beliefs, which some see as incompatible, she wrote in an Instagram post ‘We are not just “celebrities,” we are humans and sinners, children, and our lives are not void of values because we struggle. We are as equally forgiven as our neighbour. God is never a trend, no matter who the believer.’ She also has a very positive take on the experience of suffering, which she hopes her fans can tune into when they listen to her songs.

If you’re listening to the album and you’re suffering in any type of way,

just know that that suffering within itself is a sign of your humanity and you are not broken… The whole you is having a whole human experienceand there might be parts of your life that feel completely shallow or robotic or ancillary and unimportant, and that’s okay, but that suffering is a sign that you’re real and it’s a way to ground yourself.’

Gaga is talking here about human suffering in a sober way that is hopeful and realistic. Suffering for Gaga is an unavoidable part of life, but also, in time, suffering serves as the path of prayer for healing and personal renewal.

IN PRAISE OF TALKING IN CHURCH

THE GREATEST SCANDAL IS NOT THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE WHO CHAT IN CHURCH BEFORE OR AFTER MASS BUT THE NUMBER WHO DON’T

BY SALVADOR RYAN

Imusthave been about two or three years old, but I remember it very clearly still. I was at Mass with my parents and, as children that age often do, was running along the kneeler in the pew, eagerly competing with the priest for the congregation’s attention. Just moments before the consecration, I remember my father hushing me: “Shhh! Stay still! Holy God is coming …” and, just as the priest raised the host in his hands, an altar server rang the bell. Upon hearing the dinga-ling-a-ling, I automatically piped up: “Is he coming on a bike?”

Conducting oneself with decorum in church, and especially during the celebration of the Eucharist, has been a concern for Christians for almost as long as Christianity has existed,

and one of the constant complaints over the centuries has been about those who have engaged in idle chatter during the liturgy. Historically, this was a practice more often associated with women than men. Indeed, women gossiping in church was a familiar theme in medieval religious imagery, which often depicted a demon named Tutivillus standing behind them, encouraging them to chatter, but then sneakily recording their names in his notebook for presentation against them on Judgment Day.

Sometimes chatter in church was attributed to Christians in some regions more than others. Fr Mariano Sozzini (1613-1670), an Oratorian priest from Siena, praised how Germans behaved themselves in church in

contrast to his own native Italians: “There,” he declared, “Catholics held the house of God in great veneration: if by chance someone was seen chatting in church … bystanders would not hesitate to say ‘He must be a heretic or an Italian.’”.

A century earlier, the Italian saint and archbishop of Milan, Charles Borromeo (1538-1584), imposed penalties on those talking in church of ten days on bread and water, while, centuries later, on 4 May 1885, the Belfast Newsletter noted that:

Talking in church is a legal offence across the Atlantic. Several young ladies and gentlemen of the best society in Missouri were lately brought up in a police court, and fined for this offence.

The practice continued to be one of concern for letter-writers late into the twentieth century. On 3 July 1976, a writer to the Irish Farmer’s Journal complained that “at a recent requiem mass in a rural church I was amazed at the number of people who, when the ceremony was over, sat back and chatted happily away to their neighbour; apparently quite unaware of the Real Presence …”.

On 2 October 1990, a writer who signed as “Very Concerned,” complained to the Evening Echo that “Talking and conversing have their place, but that place is not the House of God.” This was followed a few weeks later by a writer simply identifying as “Worshipper,” who wrote to the same newspaper to declare that “Talking in church has gone overboard. It’s talking before Mass, it’s talking after Mass; one can’t say a prayer with the distraction.”

ALTERNATIVE PERSPECTIVE

While it’s easy enough to understand why ripples of chatter during the Eucharist have so frequently been frowned upon over the centuries, I would like to offer an alternative perspective to those, such as the letter-writer I’ve just quoted, who strenuously object to the hum of chatter either before or after Mass. And it is the telling phrase “one can’t say a prayer with the distraction,” which most clearly highlights where the fault lines lie in those who adopt differing views on the matter.

At a fundamental level, the key question is whether we regard attendance at Mass as a form of private devotion or the gathering of the body of Christ, the people of God, his church. The reform of the liturgy in the midtwentieth century has afforded us a greater appreciation of how Christ is present, not alone in the Eucharistic species, but also in his minister who presides at the Eucharist, in the proclamation of God’s Word, and in his people who gather together as ekklesia (church).

These same people are called to be what they receive in the Eucharist - to be Christ to and for others. And, here’s the thing; more often than not, this involves consciously

going out of one’s way to greet and even engage in some short conversation with fellow churchgoers, either upon entering the church or before one’s departure. Far from this being a “distraction,” such a friendly exchange is an acknowledgment of the dignity and value of the other person and a recognition that, together, you form part of the one body of Christ. And how such a recognition of Christ in the other person could ever be considered an affront to the “Real Presence” of Christ in the Eucharist is theologically baffling, to say the least.

NO TOKENISM

The greeting offered to another person in church is not mere tokenism. Who knows what may come up in that brief exchange? The conversation might, of course, be taken outside into the yard, but this mightn’t

need to have a very good reason to “shush!” God’s people as they assemble and depart from the place where they are most visibly “church.”

GREATEST CHALLENGE

always be the most appropriate transition while a large congregation leaves the church. Sometimes, sitting with the person in the pew and continuing the exchange there will be a far kinder and more attentive gesture. But, furthermore, the very notion that one should take such a conversation out into the yard is surely to introduce a false dichotomy between the sacred and the profane. Congregants who consider such a scenario a distraction to their private prayers are missing something crucial about the Eucharistic gathering of God’s people. There should be nothing private about it. If we trace what we do when we gather on a Sunday to the celebration of that first Eucharist, the Last Supper, do we really imagine that occasion to have been devoid of warmth, camaraderie, banter, humanity, and genuine table fellowship, even as the spectre of the cross lay just hours in the future? The weekly celebration of the Eucharist is never about my private relationship with Christ. One would

In her book, The Spirit’s Tether: Family, Work and Religion among American Catholics , Mary Ellen Konieczny cites the example of a traditional parish in the United States which so emphasised a sense of the sacred transcendent that it ended up stifling the ebullient humanity of those whose enthusiasm it should have been most keen to encourage. The incident involved some young people brought to task for chattering outside a confessional. What was, in fact, the warm greeting of two families was denounced by the priest who made it clear that “You shouldn’t be talking in church! If you wish to socialise, please go outside.” Chastened, the young people explained that “we guiltily left the church and walked out onto the front steps to continue talking, the joyous mood of our socialising temporarily broken.”

One of our greatest challenges today is to build community and create a sense of belonging among those who still choose to attend church. And yet how often have people had the experience of entering a church, taking their place in a pew, and not being able to name those gathered in the pews either immediately in front of them or behind them; or, at a push, being able to name one or two churchgoers, but never, ever, having had a meaningful conversation with them? Without living it out in practice, high-minded theological claims that we gather as one body in Christ ring very hollow indeed.

To my mind, the greatest scandal at our eucharistic gatherings is not the number of people who chat in church before or after Mass but the number who don’t.

One of our greatest challenges today is to build community and create a sense of belonging among those who still choose to attend church.

Salvador Ryan is professor of ecclesiastical history at St Patrick’s Pontifical University, Maynooth

WE DESERVE THE RIGHT TO LIVE IN PEACE

HALA AL-NAKHALAH (20), A BUSINESS STUDENT FROM GAZA, HAS LIVED THROUGH FOUR WARS AND NOW DEVOTES HER TIME TO HELPING OTHER SURVIVORS OF WAR WITH SUPPORT FROM TRÓCAIRE

BY HALA AL-NAKHALAH

Justafter midnight on a warm May night, I was watching the news in the living room with my family when explosions erupted around me. I have never in my whole life heard a stronger sound than it.

Suddenly, the whole house became orange, and the curtains were flying. For the first time, I saw my dad was nervous and confused. Usually, my father is a source of great strength and reassurance. But that day, I couldn’t see any source of

reassurance.

We left the house because we really had no idea what was happening. It was a very, very tough night. We couldn’t sleep. We were on edge, waiting for any news that would reassure us that our neighbours were ok. Unfortunately, a lot of our neighbours were killed.

On May 16, 2021, Israeli raids targeted three residential buildings on Al-Wehda Street in central Gaza City at dawn, leading to the death of 42 Palestinians in

one of the deadliest attacks since the start of the ongoing Israeli military aggression on Gaza. The bombardment lasted for 11 days. More than 250 Palestinians were killed, including at least 67 children.

SMALL ENCLAVE

Home to about two million people, Gaza is 41km long and 10km wide, an enclave bounded by the Mediterranean Sea, Israel, and Egypt. Originally occupied by Egypt, Gaza was captured and

occupied by Israel during the 1967 Middle East war. Israel withdrew its troops and around 7,000 settlers in 2005.

It is under the control of the Palestinian Islamist movement Hamas, which ejected forces loyal to the then governing Palestinian Authority after a violent rift in 2007. Since then, Israel and Egypt have restricted the movement of goods and people in and out in what they say are security measures against militants but what a UN expert has termed “collective punishment.” These restrictions have crippled Gaza’s economy leaving almost 80 percent of the population dependent on some form of humanitarian assistance.

Hamas and Israel fought a brief conflict in 2014, and in May 2021, hostilities between the two sides broke out again. In the last 14 years, Hamas and Israel have fought four violent wars (200809, 2012, 2014, and 2021), leading to the deaths of thousands of civilians, destroyed homes, and causing billions of dollars’ worth of damage to infrastructure such as roads, electricity, sewerage and water-treatment plants.

Despite being just 20 years old,

I have lived through these four wars in my hometown of Gaza.

Most recently, on August 5, 2022, at least 44 people, including 15 children, were killed when Israel attacked the besieged Gaza Strip with warplanes. People in Gaza are constantly trying to recover from previous bombardments while fearing the next one.

During the Israeli aggression, the children and women were among the groups that suffered the most psychological harm. Today I ask the international community to provide us with supports to protect these groups in our society. I hope there will be no more attacks against us in the Gaza strip. We deserve the right to live in peace.

I am very grateful to be able to help women and children who are suffering today in Gaza through training from Trócaire partner Women’s Affairs Centre to enhance women’s capacity to prevent and respond to genderbased violence (GBV).

GENDER-BASED VIOLENCE

The project, funded by Irish Aid, empowered 31,318 female and male university students to become leaders and agents of change in reducing GBV in the Gaza Strip.

At first, I knew very little about GBV and women’s rights, but the training was very useful, and it increased my awareness of many things happening around me. The Women’s Affairs Centre gave me the opportunity to meet with different people and conduct workshops for housewives, students, lawyers, and journalists.

After my training, I was given the chance to deliver workshops on the issues I learned. I never imagined I would have delivered a workshop myself and advise others on gender, women’s rights, and the law. This had a great impact on me. Even during Covid-19, we continued to deliver the workshops on Zoom for female students who knew little about women’s rights. The training has increased my interest

in reading books about gender, women’s rights, and GBV. I have also become more concerned with issues in my community related to violence and women’s rights.

After each training day, I would go home to tell my sisters, mother, and father about what I had learned. It’s great to pass on my knowledge to them. I make sure to tell all my friends too, and we have fruitful conversations about what is happening around us.

I am very grateful to the Women’s Affairs Centre and Trócaire for giving me the chance to take part in this training funded by Irish Aid. We all deserve to live in a society free from violence.

FIND OUT MORE

To find out more about Trócaire’s work visit www.trocaire.org

CELEBRATING ALL SAINTS AND ALL SOULS

BE SAINTS IS NOT A PRIVILEGE FOR THE FEW, BUT A VOCATION FOR EVERYONE” – POPE FRANCIS

BY MARIA HALL

By November, summer is a distant memory, the evenings are dark, and Christmas is just around the corner for many people. But the liturgical year is picking up pace, and the church is very busy commemorating, remembering, honouring, and praying. If our faith means anything, it is the sure and certain hope that life is changed, not ended. And so, we fervently remember those who have gone before us.

PRAYING FOR SOULS

Praying for the dead has its roots in the Old Testament. The Second Book of Maccabees gives an account of a battle in 163BC. Judas Maccabee ordered that the bodies of the slain Jews be collected for burial. Under their tunics were found golden amulets, which had been stolen from a pagan temple. This was forbidden, and so Judas and his men prayed for the souls of the dead soldiers and the sins they had committed. A collection was sent to Jerusalem to pay for a temple sacrifice on their behalf. Prayer and sacrifice stood between their souls and eternal life.

In the second century AD, Tertullian refers to Christians praying and offering Eucharist for the dead on the anniversary of their death.

In the fourth century, the historian Eusebius gives an account of the death of Constantine and how his body was placed before an altar, and people gathered to pray for his soul. In the same century, John Chrysostom wrote: Let us weep for these; let us assist them according to our power; let us think of some assistance for them, small though it be, yet still assist them. How and in what way? By praying and entreating others to make prayers for them, by continually giving to the poor on their behalf.

In the sixth century, Benedictine monasteries commemorated their deceased brethren in the days after Pentecost. At this time, it was common practice for the names of the dead to be posted in churches so that the community might pray for them.

It wasn’t until the Middle Ages that the church made an official ruling on praying for the dead. In the tenth century, St Odilo, the Abbot of Cluny, decreed that in all Cluniac monasteries, an Office for the Dead would be recited on 2 November, the day after the feast of All Saints. It was known as the ‘day of all the departed ones.’ This was also adopted by Benedictines and Carthusians and soon by the whole church. The Council of

Lyons (1274) declared that Mass, prayer, and almsgiving could be offered for the salvation of souls in purgatory. The great sequence, a hymn on the Last Judgement, the Dies Irae, was written by a Franciscan (possibly Thomas of Celano) in the thirteenth century. During the First World War, because of the massive number of dead, Pope Benedict XV granted priests permission to say three Masses - for a particular intention, for all the faithful departed, and for the pope’s intentions.

The Catechism tells us that ‘All who die in God’s grace and friendship but still imperfectly purified are indeed assured of their eternal salvation, but after death they undergo purification so as to achieve the holiness necessary to enter the joy of heaven.’ Heaven is a place of perfection, so any faults, flaws, and impurities in our souls must vanish before we can have that life in glory with God. We must live good lives ourselves and, through prayer and penance, help the dead who are in need.

It is therefore a holy and wholesome thought to pray for the dead, that they may be loosed from sins.

(2 Maccabees 12:46)

“TO

CELEBRATING THE SAINTS

The cult of the early saints has ensured a long tradition of celebrating exemplary Christian lives. The number of martyrs was so great that they were commemorated together. In the fourth century, when Christianity was legalised, events included processions, Eucharist celebrated at the tombs of martyrs, a reading of their life, and listening to sermons. John Chrysostom delivered an annual sermon, ‘In praise of all the Holy Martyrs of the Entire World.’ A famous orator, his sermons were well known for being vivid and graphic (‘flesh ploughed like soil, ribs pulled apart, intestines ripped out, spines shattered, blood flowing…’). He left no doubt as to the suffering undergone. But he also described martyrdom as a beautiful and holy experience (‘bloodied bodies shine like brilliant saffron rays of the morning sun; martyrs lie on hot coals as if they were reclining on a soft bed of roses’). While he shocked and horrified his listeners, he also inspired and encouraged them to live good lives. But he didn’t want people to worship the martyrs;

For just as the person who looks towards the sun doesn’t make that star more brilliant, but floods their own eyes with light, then, the person who honours a martyr doesn’t make him more radiant, but draws from him the light’s blessing.

Homily on St Phocas

In 615 AD, the feast of All Holy Martyrs was introduced by Pope Boniface IV. Emperor Phocas gave him the Pantheon (a former pagan temple), which was dedicated to Mary and all the martyrs. The date of the dedication was 13 May, which became the feast day’s date. By 741 AD, Pope Gregory III dedicated a chapel in St Peter’s to ‘All the apostles, martyrs, confessors, all the just and perfect servants of God whose bodies rest throughout the world.’

In 844 AD, Pope Gregory changed the date to 1 November. Some people think that the date change was to substitute a pagan feast with a Christian one. But it seems that the real reason was in order to feed people well.

More food was available after the autumn harvest rather than in the spring.

CELTIC CONNECTIONS

In Ireland in the Middle Ages, All Saints day was still celebrated on 20 May, and a ninthcentury record, the Martyrology of Oengus, has the feast of All Saints of Europe being celebrated on this day. There was an issue with 1 November because it was a pagan festival called Samhain, which marked the beginning of the Celtic winter. Samhain was the Celtic lord of death, and his name meant ‘end of summer.’ Since winter brought images of dark, cold, and death, this feast was also linked with death. The eve of the feast was a day of sacrifice when Samhain allowed the souls of the dead to return to their homes. Druids offered animals, crops, and even human sacrifices. Ghosts and witches came to inflict harm on people who had harmed them in life.

In Ireland, the god Muck Olla was honoured with people processing behind a leader dressed in a white robe wearing the head mask of an animal. Another story is of a man named Jack who was doomed to enter neither heaven nor hell because he was so mean (even the devil didn’t want him!). He was destined to walk the earth with his lantern till Judgement Day. This is the origin of Jack O’Lantern.

In the Middle Ages, people believed that the souls in purgatory appeared on All Souls day as ghosts, witches, and goblins to people who had wronged them during life. Bonfires, food offerings, placing food on graves, giving offerings to appease the gods, spending time at gravesides - all these customs have developed along with the religious feast of remembering the dead. At this time, on the eve of All Souls, the faithful would gather to fast and pray in preparation. Custom and superstition have somewhat hijacked the spiritual vigil, replacing it with fun and frivolity.

Having the two feast days of All Saints and All Souls adjacent is no accident. It reflects the close connection between the Holy Souls and the Communion of Saints, that those in

purgatory and heaven should be remembered together. Our challenge is to pick our way through secular practices and focus on the profound spiritual importance of these days.

THE PATH TO SAINTHOOD

During the first one thousand years of the church’s history, saints were declared solely by popular acclaim. The first official canonisation took place in 993 when St Ulrich of Augsburg was declared a saint by Pope John XV. In the thirteenth century, proper investigations and processes were introduced, and in 1243, Pope Gregory IX declared that only papal authority could proclaim a saint. It is estimated that there are more than 10,000 saints.

In recent years, the church has realised the significant effect of recognising saintly lives. St John Paul II canonised 482 saints (in the previous 600 years, there had only been around 300). Pope Francis’ first canonisations were of 800 fifteenth-century martyrs (the martyrs of Otranto) who were killed for refusing to convert to Islam.

Acknowledging holy lives well lived is meaningless unless it is used for the salvation of souls. We have these wonderful role models and intercessors to help us on our own journey to the eternal Kingdom. There is a saint for everyone: motorcyclists (St Columbanus), playing card manufacturers (St Balthasar), even murderers (St Julian the Hospitaller!).

And if we think that our lives will never reach the holy heights of those we venerate, it’s worth remembering the words of the Cure of Ars: “The saints did not all begin well, but they ended well.”

This month we pray for souls waiting for their entry to the Heavenly Kingdom, and we find inspiration from the extraordinary lives of those who are already there.

Maria Hall is a music director at St Wilfred’s Church, Preston, England. A qualified teacher, she has a Master’s degree from the Liturgy Centre, Maynooth. She is a consultant on liturgical matters for schools and parishes. www.mariahall.org

Breast

HOW DO I GET INTO HEAVEN?

THE BEST WAY TO GET INTO HEAVEN IS TO FOCUS OUR ATTENTION AND ACTIONS ON WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE ON EARTH

saw a poster that said: “How do I get into heaven?” In heaven, we will finally be in the presence of God, so presumably, it sought to bring people into a closer relationship with God here on earth. But if someone is seeking a closer relationship with God, that is the wrong question to ask. In fact, even asking that question may only draw us further away from God. The problem with that question is that it is focused on me and what I want. But authentic Christian spirituality is focused on others and what they need. An excessive individualism dominates our secular culture. It tries to persuade us that we should be autonomous, selfsufficient, independent human beings, and that the course of our life depends entirely on ourselves, on the good or bad decisions we make. This attitude is so dominant that it seems common sense. This individualism has infected our spirituality; hence, it seems obvious for the religiously minded person to ask, “What do I have to do to secure a place in heaven?” and we look to Jesus for the answer. Jesus then becomes merely one more spiritual teacher (the wisest one, perhaps) among the many who have existed in history. Jesus was a teacher, but he was more than a teacher; he was also a prophet. What differentiates him from other great spiritual teachers is the conflict and

Irecently

controversy he provoked by announcing that concern for the suffering of others is at the very core of our search for closeness to God. Jesus revealed a God who, crazy with love, embraces a prodigal son, a Shepherd who desperately seeks out the lost sheep, a King who promises happiness for those who weep

a search for an oasis of peace and tranquillity in a confused and chaotic world. It is possible to seek something resembling peace and tranquility without needing to believe in God. But our belief in God leads us, instead, straight into the chaos and suffering in our world. Believing in God is a form of surrender, committing

is hungry, that is a spiritual problem.”

The pursuit of holiness through our own efforts is a dangerous occupation. It can spawn righteousness, a sense of being holier or better than others, and a contempt or disdain for those who do not live up to the standards I have set for myself. Our prayer can easily become like that of the Pharisee, “God, I thank you that I am not like other people, thieves, rogues, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week, I give tithes of all I possess.”

(Luke 18:1-8) Salvation is not something we can purchase by our own efforts. It is a free gift bestowed on us by God. Jesus was not just a teacher and a prophet; he is also Saviour.

The best way to get into heaven, then, is to forget about getting into heaven and focus our attention and actions on what is happening here on earth.

and suffer now, a Judge who visits prisoners, clothes the naked, and feeds the starving, a God who is profoundly moved by the suffering of victims. The burning passion that consumed Jesus’ life was the announcement that in the Kingdom of God, which had already begun, the poor have an eminent dignity, those excluded from society are lords, and the rich and powerful, though also called to be a part of it, can enter it only through the door of the poor.

Our search for God, then, is not

ourselves to God’s project for saving suffering humanity. Our search for God can end up evading God if it seeks to protect us from the God who is constantly appealing to us to do something for our suffering brothers and sisters. The biggest obstacle to getting closer to God and eventually getting into heaven is indifference to the suffering of others.

As Paul Farmer, an American public health expert, said, “If I am hungry, that is a material problem. If someone else

For more information or to support the Peter McVerry Trust: www.pmvtrust.ie info@pmvtrust.ie +353(0)1 823 0776

REALITY CHECK PETER McVERRY SJ

GOD’S WORD THIS MONTH

SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO

Luke 20:27-38

The Sadducees are out to trap Jesus. They don’t believe in the resurrection and want to ridicule Jesus as someone who does.

According to Jewish law, if a man died and left no son, the man’s brother had an obligation to father a son for his dead brother’s widow. So the Sadducees come up with an absurd case. Seven brothers marry the same woman, and each dies, leaving her childless. When she dies, whose wife will she be in heaven?

Jesus’ answer shows up their insincerity. He says that in the next life, after the resurrection, all people will be in relationship with God. There will be no need to propagate the human species, nor will legal arrangements be necessary.

Jesus goes on to give his teaching about the resurrection. God makes a promise forever, and no force – not even death – can destroy it. God is faithful to all people, even when they die.

Every Sunday, we celebrate the extraordinary story of Easter. In so doing, we give thanks to God whose faithful love is stronger than death.

TODAY’S READINGS

THE SIGNS OF THE TIMES

Luke 21:5-19

The New York Times labelled him Dr Doom in a 2008 profile that identified Nouriel Roubini as an unlikely hero of that year’s global financial meltdown. In 2006, in an address to the IMF, he predicted that the US economy was at risk of a housing bust and deep recession that would have dire consequences for the entire world. Others predicted it, too, but no one was as accurate as Roubini. He was ridiculed for it, but he was right. He read the signs of the times correctly.

In February 2008, he wrote a paper called ‘12 Steps To Financial Disaster,’ describing precisely how the crisis would unfold. “I said two major broker-dealers are going to go bust, and there won’t be any major independent broker-dealer left in the next two years. It took seven months for Bear Stearns and Lehman to be gone. It’s not a fuzzy case of me saying there would be a financial crisis. I was very specific.

“You look at history, you look at political data, you look at models, you look at comparisons,” Roubini says. “There were tens of different signals that would eventually lead to a tipping point. The fact that there would be a crisis was totally obvious to me.”

Nouriel Roubini was able to read the signs of the times. The signs were all there, but other economists and politicians either could not read them or didn’t want to read them.

Today’s Gospel is all about reading the signs of the times. We always read it at the end of the church’s liturgical year.

Jesus describes the end times, when the Messiah will come in final judgement, and tells his disciples to watch out for it. He uses the fig tree as an image of how to read the signs of the times. Unlike most trees in Israel, the fig tree is not evergreen. It loses its leaves in autumn and only puts out new ones in late spring. When people see the new leaves, they know summer isn’t far off. In the same way, Jesus says when people witness the dramatic events he describes in the Gospel, they will know the end times are close.

We need always to be on the alert, wide

awake, ready. There are two aspects to reading the signs of the times. The first is to be attentive to what’s happening in the world around us. The second is always to be prepared for our end because we don’t know when that will happen. Like Nouriel Roubini, we need to read the signs of the times.

2 Mac 7:1-2.9-14; Ps 16; 2 These 2:16-3:5; Lk 20:27-38

Nouriel Roubini

GOD’S WORD THIS MONTH

NOVEMBER 20

SUFFERING KING

Luke 23:35-43

One of the most popular books and TV series of recent times is Game of Thrones. With a magnificent plot and glorious cinematography, the drama has all the elements fans love – greed, ambition, lust, brutality, power struggles, betrayal, intrigue. ‘Game’ is an appropriate word for its title, for there are power games aplenty, games of thrones.

Humanity has always been fascinated by royalty. Think of the popularity of the Netflix series, The Crown, or the extraordinary response to Queen Elizabeth II’s death.

In times past, kings and queens were closer to the image portrayed on Games of Thrones than the royal houses of today. Absolute monarchs ruled by decree. They commanded respect, fear, obedience. They fought battles and conquered territory and lorded it over their subjects. They got rid of anyone who got in their way. Their wealth and power afforded them the luxury and lifestyle of which their subjects could only dream. Thankfully, this isn’t the case anymore (at least in the West), so we can find it hard to understand why we celebrate a feast of Christ as king. The Jesus of the Gospels, the carpenter’s boy from Nazareth, doesn’t fit our image of a monarch. It’s essential, then, to remember how and why this feast came about.

Pope Pius XI inaugurated it in 1925 during a time of increasing political turmoil. The Blackshirts under Mussolini were in power in Italy. A demagogue called Adolf Hitler was organising the Nazi Party in Germany. In Moscow, Josef Stalin was ruthlessly consolidating his control of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union. The world was tumbling toward the Great Depression, and populism and militant nationalism were on the rise.

In creating this feast, Pope Pius declared to the world that despite dictatorships, economic collapse, and the false values of the time, Jesus Christ remained King of the Universe and a model for how authority should be exercised.

Pius XI was declaring that in a world filled with division, conflict, and tears, Christ the King offers both the ideal example and an uncomfortable model of behaviour. He is the model for how authority should be exercised. He is the model for how people should relate to one another.

The kingship of Jesus turns our commonly accepted notions of royalty on their head. His crown symbolises his majesty, made not of gold but thorns. He rules not by threat or

decree but by a moral authority, a message of love. He is interested not in possessions, money, or status but mercy, compassion, and justice. Our king rules by washing feet.

Amidst the humiliation of the cross, today’s Gospel account paints a picture of someone every inch a king. Jesus pardons his executioners; he bestows the gift of the kingdom on someone who has done little to merit it until that moment. In the act of dying, he calmly resigns his Spirit into the hands of God.

TODAY’S READINGS

2 Sam 5:1-3; Ps 121; Col 1:12-20; Lk 23:35-43

OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST, KING OF THE UNIVERSE

NOVEMBER 27

WAIT UP!

Matthew 24:37-44

THE REALITY CROSSWORD

NUMBER 9 NOVEMBER ����

SOLUTIONS CROSSWORD No. 7

Across: Emetic, 5. Bogart, 10. Plateau, 11. Officer, 12. Rome, 13. Isaac, 15. Ruhr, 17. Ebb, 19. Dorian, 21. Bisect, 22. Galahad, 23. Kidnap, 25. Pewter, 28. Bat, 30. Flag, 31. Mimic, 32. Ante, 35. Absence, 36. Oversee, 37. Bagels, 38. Frugal.

Down: 2. Myanmar, 3. Trek, 4. Course, 5. Baobab, 6. Gift, 7. Recluse, 8. Spared, 9. Ararat, 14. Abraham, 16. Lagan, 18. Hides, 20. Nap, 21. Bap, 23. Kaftan, 24. Dead Sea, 26. Tunisia, 27. Reeled, 28. Bikers, 29. Tip-off, 33. Knee, 34. Menu.

Winner of Crossword No. 7 Rory Sweeney, New Ross, Co. Wexford

FIRST SUNDAY OF ADVENT

Today we begin the season of Advent, the great season of waiting. We are waiting for the coming of the Lord at Christmas; we wait expectedly for the one who saves us. During this season, we contemplate two different comings of Jesus into our world. The first refers to his birth as Saviour more than 2,000 years ago. The second refers to his future return in glory as judge at the end of time. It is only from the Fourth Sunday of Advent that the coming of the Christ-child at Christmas moves into centre stage.

This season is a reminder to prepare not just to welcome the Lord at Christmas but for an even more wondrous coming – of the Lord at the end time. Advent challenges us to consider how we are preparing for the Lord’s arrival. What is it we are waiting for? Are we living day-to-day in such a way that we are ready when he comes?

We all know that waiting of any kind is difficult today. We live in a culture of wanting things now. Having to wait at a red light annoys us; being stuck in a barely moving queue frustrates us. If our internet connection isn’t working, we get angry. Like instant messaging and instant coffee, we demand instant results and want them now.

It can be the same with our relationships. If my relationship with someone is in difficulty, I can be tempted to give up on it. If things start to go wrong for me personally, I can feel like quitting or even giving up on life itself.

It’s the same with our relationship with God and the church. When God is slow to answer our prayers or doesn’t seem to answer them at all, we can be tempted to stop praying or give up on God altogether. The scandals in the church can leave us angry, disillusioned, and inclined to walk away.

Patience or stick-at-it-ness is challenging in so many ways. Advent challenges this thinking; it is about patient, hopeful waiting. One of the most striking things about Jesus was his patience. People resisted his message; many opposed him; even his closest friends misunderstood him, but he didn’t give up on them. Time and again, he is patient with them. Remember how Peter denied him three times, yet Jesus forgave him and welcomed him back.

It’s how God has always treated God’s people. In the Bible, the people of Israel kept turning their backs on God, letting God down. But God never gave up on them; over and over again, God forgave them. In the end, God even sent his Son among them to save them, to show them how to live.

ACROSS

1. Absolute chaos. (6)

5. Type of unbleached cotton cloth. (6)

10. Shine unsteadily. (7)

11. Devotions over nine separate days. (7)

12. Ladies’ fingers! (4)

13. Just the man for the herb. (5)

15. German composer of the Brandenburg Concertos. (4)

17. Something that fails to work properly. (3)

19. Where a storm is sometimes found. (6)

21. Spain and Portugal together. (6)

22. A.k.a. Golgotha. (7)

23. Black pool city in Ireland. (6)

25. Break free from confinement. (6)

28. The time immediately before the first woman. (3)

30. Very light brown in colour. (4)

31. Level area surrounded by seating, in which sports are held. (5)

32. He lost his birthright to Jacob in the Book of Genesis. (4)

35. Erector set for children. (7)

36. Perpendicular, vertical. (7)

37. Standing, relative social standing. (6)

38. Strikingly unusual and foreign. (6)

DOWN

2. African country, capital Asmara. (7)

3. The Evangelist Apostle. (4)

4. Countless or extremely great in number. (6)

5. Truthful and straightforward, frank. (6)

6. Molten earth. (4)

7. Half man, half horse. (7)

8. A serious attempt to do something. (6)

9. Common respiratory condition. (6)

14. Continue to live. (7)

16. Clearly expressed, easily understood. (5)

18. A seemingly bottomless chasm. (5)

20. Cooking container to separate out gold from gravel. (3)

21. Openly displayed anger. (3)

23. Thoughts, images and sensations experienced during sleep. (6)

24. Type of European beetroot soup. (7)

26. Hardwood spear chiefly used by southern African peoples. (7)

27. Breaks out suddenly and dramatically. (6)

28. Mistakes. (6)

29. Make certain that something will occur. (6)

33. Basic monetary unit of Thailand. (4)

34. A group of three people or things. (4)

Entry Form for Crossword No.9, November 2022

Name:

Address:

TODAY’S READINGS

Is 2:1-5; Ps 121; Rom 13:11-14; Matt 24:37-44

Telephone:

All entries must reach us by Friday November 30, 2022

One €35 prize is offered for the first correct solutions opened. The Editor’s decision on all matters concerning this competition will be final. Do not include correspondence on any other subject with your entry which should be addressed to: