Milford Spotlight

Milford Pride

When Sarah O’Brien came home to Milford after her freshman year at Clark University, she felt empowered by the inclusive and welcoming environment LGTBQ+ students had found on campus. That positivity and excitement contrasted with what she perceived as a general lack of engagement with LGBTQ+ issues she experienced while attending Milford schools. As O’Brien puts it, “By the time I was in high school, same sex marriage in Connecticut had already been legal for almost 10 years, but it was never mentioned. There was nothing about the gay rights movement. Even the prom, it seemed, wasn’t really open to everyone.” O’Brien looked at the two disparate approaches toward inclusion and saw an opening to bring people together, raise awareness, increase visibility, and bring attention to the issues important to Milford’s LGBTQ+ community.

In the summer of 2018, shortly after turning 18, Sarah placed an ad in the Milford Patch looking for residents interested in forming a LGBTQ+ organization. It garnered eight phone calls. Her next step was a visit to the Milford Oyster Festival with a bunch of pride flags, pamphlets, and a signup sheet. By the end of the day, 175 people had joined the group and Milford Pride was born.

One of the main missions of Milford Pride is to encourage the LGBTQ+ community in Milford to come together, make connections, and make new friends. When the group was in its early days, O’Brien noted that some people were surprised to find that there were other LGBTQ+ people living in greater Milford. This, unfortunately, is not uncommon; there is often a greater sense of isolation and ostracization for gay and trans people, feelings often felt more acutely by teens and senior citizens. A 2018 survey of 2,000 LGTBQ+ teens noted high levels of anxiety, feelings of rejection, and fears for their safety. Add COVID-19-related social distancing, lockdowns, distance learning, and economic anxiety to these already problematic issues, and organizations like Milford Pride begin to hold an even more important place within the community. As O’Brien says, “Imagine being a teenager locked down during a pandemic in a house with parents who are openly hostile to your identity, to your true self. It would be comforting to know that there are people out there who understand what you are going through.”

Another aspect of Milford Pride is the great love its members have for the town. While some members have lived in Milford their whole lives, others have chosen to make Milford their home and found its beauty, charm, and sense of community the perfect place to settle down and raise children. Since the group’s founding, the local government, Mayor Ben Blake, town officals, and churches have been supportive of Milford Pride’s goals. O’Brien praises the town for its role in helping bring about greater visibility and acceptance of the LGBTQ+ community and to educate people about its issues. “One of the greatest days was in 2019 when City Hall raised the Pride flag,” she says. “The Mayor has been great; the library hosted

COURTESY OF MILFORD PRIDE

The Rainbow Pride flag is raised on the Milford City Hall flagpole in celebration of Pride Weekend 2019.

Milford Pride reaches out to the community at local events like the Milford Oyster Festival.

COURTESY OF MILFORD PRIDE

events for Pride weekend and the churches have played a major role in supporting us.” In fact, in 2019, five local churches held a group fundraiser for Milford Pride that culminated in a concert at the First United Church of Christ by singersongwriter Bobby Jo Valentine.

Since the outbreak of COVID-19, public events have been replaced by Zoom chats. Last year, Pride month activities were postponed indefinitely and there was no Oyster Festival booth to set up. But it’s not all doom and gloom! Beginning in March, Milford Pride and Hawkwood Games began hosting an LGBTQ+ trivia night via Zoom with prizes for the winners. Hope springs eternal.

When asked what the coming months had in store for Milford Pride, O’Brien speaks of a history project she’s been hoping to start. The idea is for members to write down their life stories and explain what it was like for them growing up and coming out. “I want teenagers to see that they’re not alone, but to also see how it was for the older generations that grew up in much less accepting times,” she explains. “How they had to hide their lifestyle. How there was no same sex marriage, and that people went to jail for no other reason than their sexuality.” O’Brien says she wants “a middle age person to be able to tell a teen that it’s going to get better; that I was once like you but now I have a home, I have a family...”

For O’Brien, communication is the key to promoting understanding and acceptance. As the founder and president of Milford Pride she has helped open a dialogue that will continue to be heard. “I want people to come over to our booth and ask questions, I want them to know that we are their neighbors and even the people next to them at church. We’re all just people.” —Gerry McGuire

COURTESY OF MILFORD PRIDE

The First United Church of Christ hosted a fundraiser for Milford Pride.

For more information or to find answers to questions, visit milfordpride.org.

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