Take Care of Each Other

I first met Gordon Corsetti the very same way most of us officials meet each other. We were assigned a game together. I had never worked with him and never heard of him. But there he was, a name on a piece of paper for the next day of assignments at a summer training camp for lacrosse officials. The next day on the field he made an impression, let’s just say that.

A few years later, we hired Gordon at USA Lacrosse to evolve our training program for our 16,000plus officials across the country. Not only did he evolve it, Gordon revolutionized it. He created videos, trainings, programs and countless other resources to help officials everywhere. He truly made an impact this very magazine. One commenter on his story said, “I have worked in the mental health field for almost 30 years, and I have never read a more powerful personal story. We all have demons, but most of us don’t have the courage to put them up there on a wall for others to see.” Another wrote, “You compel me to reflect on depression in my family — the choices I’ve made and need to make — to be there for others.” story and his struggles has, without doubt, saved lives.

He shared his story during a Referee Voices session at the NASO Summit, and I will never forget how silent and awestruck that room was when he left the stage. Gordon shone a light and normalized a conversation around mental health with his written and spoken words. It was one of the most impactful and courageous officiating presentations most of us in the room had ever seen. The video is still available today at referee.com/ voices and is worth a watch.

Soon after, he took up the challenge to help others with this illness through his company, Mental Agility. He spoke to high school and college students, officiating groups and industry professionals. He was onto something; he was making an impact everywhere. He came up with the slogan, “Take Care of Your Crew.” He made up bracelets and passed them out to officials all over the world. Officials loved them. We are the third team on the field, and we are a crew. He was making an impact on people every single day, he knew it and we all saw it.

If we all follow Gordon’s advice a little closer and “Take Care of Our Crew” we can continue his legacy of helping others. When he was struggling, he would say the simple questions, “How are you doing?” and “How can I help?” were often some of the most powerful someone could ask him. If we all do this, we can make sure Gordon’s sentence is not over and his words, both written and spoken, continue to have an impact on and off the field.

What started as a name on a piece of paper became so much more. Gordon made the best call I have ever seen by an official. He chose service, compassion, love and empathy to everyone he met. In Gordon’s own words:

“I write this to debunk the notion that no one cares, that no one understands — so that someone in a dark place can find hope in my words, and so I can finally be free of my silence.

“For those of you suffering alone, I do not know your pain. I know only the extent to which I have experienced mine. I felt alone. I felt as if I wasn’t worth the companionship of others. If I found help from those around me, that means you can too. Give voice to your pain.” — Gordon Corsetti (1988-2022) that so many in our community have benefited from knowingly and unknowingly. He found a passion in helping others.

Throughout Gordon’s life, he battled mental health and depression. He found many ways to cope with this battle. In 2018, he found the courage and went public with his struggles in an article for USA Lacrosse Magazine, titled, “Lacrosse Saved My Life.” It was later republished in

On Dec. 2, 2022, Gordon James Corsetti died by suicide. “Gordon fought this disease bravely, courageously and with everything he had for 20 years,” his sister, Caitlin, wrote. “He did everything he possibly could to manage his depression and live through it with vigor.”

Gordon had a tattoo of a semicolon on his wrist, which represents where writers could have ended a sentence but chose not to. He often told me it was his daily reminder his sentence was not over. His strength and courage to share his

If you or someone you know feels hopeless or like they have no reason to live, call, text or chat 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. If you or someone you know is seeking help for mental health concerns, visit the National Alliance on Mental Health (NAMI) website, or call 1-800-950NAMI (6264). In an emergency, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or call 911.

Charlie Obermayer, Hampstead, Md., is the former US Lacrosse senior manager of officials development and is an NCAA men’s lacrosse official. *

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