How to love your spouse

Learn the language

By Ardell Waldner

Have you ever wondered why some people say they have a soul mate? Why some people seem to have great relationships? Why some people seem very loving?

What if I told you I could help you to understand how this happens?

You see there’s a language—a love language. There are five different ways to give and receive love: Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts and Words of Affirmation. Take the quiz to discover yours. There are several online quizzes you can take—my favourite is 5lovelanguages.com/quizzes by Gary Chapman.

If we are not in tune with others, we tend to love using our own love language. It’s like trying to feed someone something they don’t like. They do everything to avoid it. When you know your spouse’s love language you can give them the biggest gift you can give. It is not always easy to know what to do to speak their language so here are some ideas.

Work on the yard together

Acts of Service – Giving your spouse a hand cleaning up and beautifying your yard.

Physical Touch – Give your spouse a back rub after a long hard day in the yard. Quality Time – Being together listen to favorite music or keeping up a conversation.

Receiving Gifts – Buy your spouse a planter of their favorite flowers, a tree to plant or a favorite little ornament.

Words of Affirmation – Look for opportunities to compliment your spouse with words like “You’re working really hard,” “I really like how you arranged those plants,” or “You did a great job on painting the deck.”

Take a trip

Acts of Service – Plan a trip to one of your partner’s favourite places. Take care of all the planning booking a room and plan the route. Take care of the details.

Physical Touch – Gently reach over and brush your spouse’s hand while they drive. Give them a kiss and hug when you have pit stops or as you reach your destination.

Quality Time – Spend time together doing activities and eating meals together.

Receiving Gifts – Stop at a souvenir store and get a little something that will remind your partner of this special trip.

Words of Affirmation – Include activities that your spouse is good at like mini golf or fishing so you can pour on the compliments.

Is music your thing?

Acts of Service – Create a playlist of their favorite music for your spouse.

Physical Touch – Take a dance class together or enjoy a night out dancing.

Quality Time – Enjoy a music festival together.

Receive Gifts – Buy your spouse their favorite concert tickets!

Words of Affirmation – Make a sign of your spouse’s favourite lyrics from their favourite song.

Game night

Acts of Service – Invite your spouse’s favourite people for a game night you have planned.

Physical Touch – Plan games where you’re teamed with your spouse so when you have victories you can share a little kiss, high five or shoulder pat. Or if you’re not so lucky, a little hand squeeze for better luck next time.

Quality Time – Make sure there’s lots of laughter and everyone is involved in the game.

Receiving Gifts – Gift your spouse their favorite game.

Words of Affirmation - Be sure to applaud your spouse often for their effort and accomplishments.

Start a business together

Acts of Service – Set up and incorporate the business take care of the lawyers and accountants.

Physical Touch – Hug your spouse, let them know you are excited about your new adventure.

Quality Time – Book time to do activities that you enjoy together like a hockey game, football game, dinner out or movie.

Receiving Gifts – Give your spouse a personalized item that fits your business like a shirt, jacket or a name plate.

Words of Affirmation – Create a sign with your favourite business motto or motivational saying making sure it fits in a place they will see often.

Family owned generational businesses are a unique and valuable part of the business landscape, and we’re lucky to have so many here in the Southeast.