BULLETIN BOARD 3 An In-Class Distraction

The Star Scoops

Pisces- While at a fraternity formal in New Orleans, you probably did body shots off of a street vendor. Get tested, play it safe.

Leo - The ghost of your father will appear to three of your closest friends while they stand guard one cold night. He will accuse his brother of regicide.

Cancer - Upon our weekly consultaion with the star gods, X’anthrai expressed concern for your behavior at 3-4-1’s this past week and has decided to redact your horoscope. The bartender did not, in fact, speak fluent Mandarin, and for what it’s worth, neither did you despite your best efforts.

Aquarius - This week holds opportunities for personal growth, but only physically. Eat high in protein and carbohydrates. Don’t bother self-reflecting. This is not about emotions, it’s about gains.

Scorpio - Spontaneity is the theme this week. If you want to go for a drive, do it. If your boss calls, don’t answer. If you’re offered foreign substances, accept. If you’re offered delicate cuisine, eat that junt. Remember your own mortality, and that your chiefest function is to love.

Taurus - Consider spontaenous combustion. Don’t try it, just think on it. The rest will take care of itself.

Gemini - Your long anticipated evil twin will finally appear. Turns out “evil” just means they chew gum really loudly, but that’s still something.

Capricorn - Jbu’anthan reverts to his mother tongue after about four tequila shots, so this is all we got: “Veh’asthetck, ibn aij. LOL” (He still says lol in English). Your guess is as good as ours for the rest of it, though.

Dates to Remember

February 27 - First progress reporting deadline

March 6 - The midpoint of the semester

March 13-17 - Spring break window

A bumpy ride

January 30 - A student reported her car tire was damaged while parked in the Deavenport parking lot.

January 31 - A parking services attendant reported damages to a wheel lock he placed on a vehicle due to the subject driving off with the lock attached.

January 31 - A student was issued a post arrest citation and referral for possession of marijuana in the Deavenport Hall parking lot. Referrals were also issued to three other students.

February 2 - Officers responded to a two-car accident in the Moseley Lane parking lot.

February 3 - A student reported his handheld gaming device was stolen on 1/25/23 from the common area of Magnolia Hall.

February 4 - A non-resident/visitor was issued an arrest citation on Hardy Road for the defacing of a tag and possession of marijuana. The subject had warrants with OCSO.

A full Bad Dawgs report can be found on www.reflector-online.com

There are few experiences on Earth that can be described as both magical and nauseating at the same time.

I am referring to, of course, the art of the first date. Last Thursday, I embarked on this venture with fellow Reflector writer John Baladi. But please, allow me to start at the beginning.

In my humble opinion, the hour or so leading up to a first date are some of the worst moments of one’s life. The nervousness is at a peak, and all there is to do is prepare yourself and wait. Will this person be a psycho with whom you will have to eventually involve law enforcement, or will you spend the rest of your life with them? Or worse, both?

“I pulled on the handle until he unlocked the passenger side. Strike one, some would say.”

John and I began our night running to his car in the pelting rain. He immediately opened the car door, and I pulled on the handle until he unlocked the passenger’s side. Strike one, some would say.

I did eventually get into the car, and we began our trek to our predetermined location. Tonight, we would be dining at the nicest place in Starkville, the pinnacle of upscale dining, and America’s drive in. Yes, dear reader, we ate at Sonic. This was a joint decision based on both John’s love of all things Sonic and my intense craving for their sauced popcorn chicken.

It is now that I bring up music. One bonus of our restaurant choice was that we got to pick our own background music. John, being in the driver’s seat, was con- nected to the ever-important aux. He held that position with both tact and grace, picking music that could easily be talked over, while also showing me quite a bit about himself. You can, of course, tell an enormous amount about a person based on their music taste.

I have no idea how or why, but eventually our topic of conversation became house music and its merits at a party. So, for purposes of honesty, I will admit we listened to a bit of house music at that point. Our food came and was devoured with efficiency. I learned that John is not a fan of spicy food. Strike two. A recurring midnight snack for me is hot sauce on saltine crackers. Judge me, I dare you.

One of the more common worries when it comes to first dates is that the conversation will be subpar. I will absolutely say that awkward silence on a first date is one of the most awful but common things to happen. We did not have that issue. A particular quality of being a writer for the Opinion section is that you find it pretty easy to elaborate on a simple idea for around a thousand words.

Our conversation included the typical “gettingto-know-you” spiel, but it was promising in that we found ourselves discussing everything else under the sun. Forget the weather, our classes or the random going-ons of our day, we discussed our most specific hyper-fixations.

This is not to say we agreed on everything. I attempted to convert John to an Ethel Cain super fan like I, a woman of culture, am. It was unsuccessful. He attempted to get me to laugh at a Babylon Bee headline. It was unsuccessful. But we found ourselves in total agreement on more than a few topics, which I would say is essential.

Looking back on the date with a few days of hindsight, I ask myself, will there be a second date? Well, that is for me to know and for The Reflector readers to speculate about.

They say you should not date your coworkers, yet when Opinion Editor Luke Copley found out two of his workers, Lucy Hallmark (of bathroom reviews fame) and I planned a first date, instead of telling us not to go, he thought we should review the matter. The Reflector did not pay for this endeavor, but we are paid from the articles. I wanted to buy the food, so I took the financial responsibility.

We were asked to go to a formal dinner but then were not given any help besides the article pay. So, with a want for a net positive bank account, we went to the greatest fine dining establishment we could think of: the local Sonic Drive-In. Hallmark may attempt to claim that it was a joint idea, but the parameters I got were between “not too expensive” and “I do not care; I will let you know if I am in the mood for what you are thinking.” So, to Sonic we went. It was Sonic. It was delicious, and afterwards, the feeling of doom in my arteries reminded me of my mortality. I will say no more about the food. In terms of the conversation, we rarely had a dull point. We talked of our days, the new semester, movies, music and, believe it or not, a few articles we had in the works. I spoke about my thoughts on "Dead Space"; she talked about movies she had watched recently, and then talked about how much she has listened to Ethel Cain lately. I pretended not to find this at least a little unsettling.

In her defense, I was on aux the entire night and defending certain kinds of party music that probably could (should) have waited for another date, but I can only be myself, even if that means EDC highlights. In fact, this was not the only flaw I laid bare. Hallmark looked past my aversion to spicy foods, the lack of ice in the Powerade I ordered and the overabundance of Greta Van Fleet in my playlist curation.

Beside the music and generic small talk, we did get into some interesting conversations about our perspective obsessions throughout this time. I spoke about my unhealthy obsession with "Game of Thrones"; she talked about her extreme disappointment at the ending. She spoke about how much she enjoys the show "Fleabag", and as the devout Catholic I am, I pretended to not know about the priest storyline in season two. Overall, I had a great time. While it may have been made easier by the shared frustration that our boss would assign us this story then not offer to pay, I say it would have been a pleasure either way. I think it was a great time sharing opinions about all things we are interested in, and it was fun fending off listening to Ethel Cain. I hope to save depressing music for future dates, if she lets me.