I Didn’t Know How Difficult It Would Be Rev. Arnoud T. Vergunst
The following introduction article is a preview to a coming book to be published by Reformed Fellowship.
Introduction With this book I desire to share with you the struggles I experienced in the journey I began with my first wife, Melanie, and the later struggles I faced without her. In December 1993 it became known to us that she had a malignant brain tumor. After about two years and two months, the Lord took her to be with him at the young age of twenty-nine years. I remained behind with five young children. As a pastor I knew which Bible texts were fitting and comforting for such an intensely sad situation, since I preached weekly about God who is good and gracious but also wise and sovereign. Yet I have to admit, sometimes it was a huge struggle for me to believe that myself. The struggle to find rest in him was real. I was often tossed about with storms from within my own mind. “Does God exist? Is everything I believe really true? God is good, but why does he inflict so much pain and grief? Why would he take a mother away from her young family and leave the father behind alone? Is everything that I preach Sunday after Sunday really true?”
The Outlook | 4
Personal thoughts of a grieving husband and father
The Lord didn’t leave me alone in such moments of intense wrestling. Countless times he pulled me out of these pits. Sometimes through a rainbow which stood at just such a moment along the skyline. Or through the mighty display of his
glory with the sunrays beaming through the clouds upon the earth while driving to preach his Word. Or I would be called at just the right time by someone who again pointed me to the God of the Scriptures and his goodness in caring for us. His timing was marvelous. But mostly
