DOING TIME IN STYLE

Coco St. George

Sooner or later, we all must face harsh reality, pay the consequences of our actions, and end up in jail. The reasons for losing our freedom may be as numerous as the situations that arise around us, and thus, being behind bars is hard to avoid since there cannot be a one-fits-all solution.

We may lose our freedom, but that does not mean we should lose our style— no, sir! So, if we inevitably find ourselves in the juncture of doing time, we might as well choose to do it in a wellrenowned institution. And if we are talking about world-wide famous correctional establishments, the first name that pops in our heads is Alcatraz, the infamous high-security prison located in the small rocky island of the same name, off the Bay of San Francisco.

Alcatraz! Its sole mention was able to send shivers down the spine of the most notorious criminals, among them Al Capone, Arthur Baker (son of the celebrated Ma Baker), and the Anglin brothers. If you decided to pay your debt to society there, you’d be rubbing elbows with the crème de la crème of the underworld.

But the island was not always a home for criminals. In fact, its development initiated back in 1846 with the building of a lighthouse while the island and surrounding areas still belonged to Mexico. While the US government began to fortify the island with the intent of protecting the bay, the Civil War saw it converted to a prison for Confederate sympathizers. Alcatraz was officially labeled a prison in 1868, officially for military prisoners. In 1933, the Department of Justice bought the place to transform it into the high-security prison it would become famous as. The salty breeze from the surrounding sea took a heavy toll on the aging structures, so by the late 1950s, remodeling and renovation work began. However, repairing the dilapidated buildings could prove prohibitively expensive. The mere cost of running the prison was excessively high; over three times more than other prisons. Thus, in 1962, the authorities decided to close the prison by 1963. It was later developed as a tourist attraction, drawing 1.5 million visitors a year.

Just because it’s closed now doesn’t mean you can’t do time in an ill-reputed prison like Alcatraz. Of course, since it’s an island, you’ll need a boat to reach it. No problem. You may take the ferry at the pier, and in no time you’ll be treading on the footsteps of the most memorable criminals. Remember, though, that you’ll be in the company of the worst ilk mankind has to offer, so you may want to blend in and keep a low profile, lest standing out puts a target on your back. Oh, yes— it may be hard to believe, but there were several cases of inmates being beaten and even murdered by their fellow prisoners. Of course, the crimes only added a few years to an already harsh sentence, so it didn’t make a big difference.

Before heading to Alcatraz, you may want to rummage through your inventory or visit your favorite store to find place-appropriate garments. Remember, if looks can be deceiving, the right clothes will let you deceive your fellow inmates, blend in, and be safe in their company.

How long are you going to stay? Unlike the inmates’ court-ordered stays, you get to decide. If you get tired of being there, then you can always escape. Wait, you may think, wasn’t Alcatraz a high-security prison?

Sure, it was, but that only means you need to try harder to get out of there. Just like the Anglin brothers and Frank Morris did in June 1962. They dug a tunnel from their cells to one of the corridors; made papier-mâché heads to put on their beds, so the guards would think they were still asleep; and even managed to build a raft out of stolen raincoats. Who said that necessity is the mother of invention? To be honest, a debate continues over whether they succeeded to reach the mainland aboard that dubious raft or if they drowned in the cold waters under the heavy rain that night. But that shouldn’t discourage you— even if the odds are against all your efforts.

Why would you want to go there in the first place? Well, word has it that while the living conditions were slightly above tolerable, the food was much better than in any other prison. Who could say no to Taco Tuesday, right?