5 common mistakes

common mistakes people make during divorce5

Catherine Lowther Managing Associate, Family team

Divorce can be very overwhelming couples, particularly if they are seeking to navigate their way through the process on their own. It is no surprise that mistakes are sometimes made. This is a rundown of some of the most common mistakes and how you can avoid them.

Relying on advice from family and friends

Whilst it is vital to ensure you have a strong support network around you during challenging times, it is important to remember that the people you rely on for emotional support are usually not qualified legal professionals and any advice which they are able to provide – however well-intentioned – will most likely be outdated or predicated on their own personal circumstances which will no doubt be very different to your own. No two divorces are the same; what works well for one couple will not necessarily work for another. The only person you should take legal advice from is your lawyer.

Failing to obtain a financial order

A very common mistake is to assume that, once the Decree Absolute has been issued, you are financially free from your former spouse. This is not the case. Without a financial order from the Court there is nothing to prevent your ex-spouse from pursuing you for a share of any future income. Even if you have reached an amicable agreement regarding how your assets should be divided, or even if there are no financial issues to resolved at the time of the divorce, a financial order will provide what is known as a “clean break” and prevent future financial claims being made against you.

Overlooking Pensions

As a follow-up to the previous point, pensions are another major financial asset which many couples fail to consider at the point of divorce, but it is important to take time to consider your financial position later in life as well as your circumstances now. If one party has particularly valuable pension rights, these should be reviewed and considered carefully in order to address any imbalance of pension provision between the two parties before a financial settlement is reached.

Heading straight for the courtroom

A combative approach benefits nobody, particularly when children are involved and you wish to maintain a healthy and functional co-parenting relationship with your former spouse. There are several alternatives to court – including mediation, collaboration and arbitration – which can all provide a quicker and more cost-effective result for separating couples, whilst also reducing hostility and encouraging constructive communication. Clearly there are some circumstances where court is the only option, but this should always be treated as a last resort.

Treating your children like adults

Divorce is an incredibly confusing and stressful time for children and it is imperative that both parties do what they can to shield them from any conflict or emotional burden. As difficult as it may be, do not talk about your former spouse with your children in a demeaning way or share details of the divorce which you know will influence the children to take sides. Whatever the nature of your personal feelings towards your former spouse, you will both remain parents of your children long after the divorce has concluded and it is crucial that they know it is ok for them to have a close relationship with both of you.

Going through a divorce can be a highly complex and technical process. Always seek specialist advice from a qualified legal professional to ensure your interests are protected, both now and in the future.

For further information, please contact Catherine Lowther on cel@swinburnemaddison.co.uk or by phone on 0191 3842441.